So apparently Kendrick Perkins called Danny Ainge just to check in and see if the Celtics had any interest in signing him. Imagine that? Just call up a company that you want to work for and ask hey do you want to pay me? No resumes, no interviews, just straight cash homie.

Kendrick Perkins said he wants to play in the NBA this season but said it would be his last year. Waiting for 10-day opportunities to open up in January and he has reached out to #Celtics pic.twitter.com/IQMwl9cmz7

— gary washburn (@GwashburnGlobe) November 28, 2018

Normally I would sigh at the thought of a beloved, yet aging Boston athlete looking for one more shot at glory. I LOVE Perk, but we all saw him last year with Cleveland in a suit. The guy would make a phenomenal coach or more likely a corrections officer, but we all understand his playing days are over.

Except my 14-year-old brother was asking me about Perk wondering when was he really good, what he did well, and it dawned on me. 1.) How fucking old I really am and 2.) It’s easy to forget just how great Perk was for the Celtics back in the day. So lets dive in.

If Kendrick Perkins was born 20 years earlier he might be in the Hall of Fame today. I’m not joking. The guy was straight out of the 1980’s NBA. Bill Laimbeer would have been throwing hands with Perk twice a season. He was just an absolute force in the paint; a real old school bully. And that was exactly what the Celtics needed in 2007. A bodyguard for Rondo, a No. 2 to KG’s crazy, a guy willing to do the dirty work while the Big 3 handled all the scoring. He was the perfect fit for that team and both teammates and fans alike adored him.

I mean just look at this clip from the recent Celtics documentary that aired on NBC Sports Boston.

God I miss Perk. #Celtics #AnythingIsPossible pic.twitter.com/8NjjKzuyMw

— The 300s (@The300sBoston) May 30, 2018

Never change, Perk.

Except Perk was actually born in 1984 and is really still only 34-years-old. Think about that for a second. He is literally just 40 days older than LeBron James. He’s 6 months younger than Carmelo Anthony. He’s two years younger than Dwyane Wade.

There is no greater way to show that different people age differently than the fact that Kendrick Perkins, Carmelo Anthony and LeBron James are all 33 years old. https://t.co/Xd0Q5ql9Zv

— Fred Katz (@FredKatz) May 1, 2018

But, the sad fact is that the NBA game just passed Perk by. It passed a lot of guys by as the evolution of the game exploded so fast that the old school big man became a dinosaur in less than five years.

Perk’s last season with the Celtics was 2010-11 when Danny Ainge traded him to the OKC Thunder for Jeff goddamn Green in a move that I will still argue cost the C’s a legitimate shot at the title that year. I think if you got a couple warm milks in him, Danny would likely agree. But less than 5 years later the Golden State Warriors kicked off potentially the greatest dynasty we’ve ever seen built entirely on three point shooters, including the big men.

If you’re a big man who can’t shoot in 2018 you almost certainly are in the unemployment line these days. The Celtics have, and actively encourage, Aron Baynes to jack up multiple 3’s per game for fucks sake (averaging 6x 3PA per game than his previous career high last year). That was never Perk’s game so as the NBA turned into a video game with everyone pulling up from half court his role diminished a lot faster than anyone ever expected.

Did you know Kendrick Perkins has never made a 3 pointer in the NBA? Hell he’s only taken 14 attempts in 14 seasons!

To put that into context, from Perk’s last year with the C’s in 2010-11 the average 3 point attempts per game around the league have nearly doubled from 18 attempts per game to 31.3 per game this season. In the previous 8 seasons before that, average 3 point attempts per game had only increased about three from a low of 14.7 in 2002-03. So no one could have predicted the game completely changing the way it has.

As every Celtics fan my age will tell you, the C’s *never* lost a playoff series when their championship starting 5 was healthy and playing together. Paul Pierce, Kevin Garnett, Ray Allen, Rajon Rondo, and Kendrick Perkins. Never. Lost. A. Series. Incredible. If Perk doesn’t blow out his knee in the 2009-10 NBA Finals there isn’t a doubt in my mind the Celtics beat the Lakers and win their second title in three years cementing their legacy as one of the greatest teams of all time. Instead we’re left with one championship and a bunch of what ifs, but goddamnit I don’t want to go down this dark road again because I could blog 10,000 words about the 2007-2011 Celtics.

So it sounds like despite all the great times they had together in green, Danny is gonna pass on the former big man.

Danny Ainge tells @Toucherandrich that he talked with Kendrick Perkins last night but “I don’t think it’s a good fit for our team right now. You never know what happens during the course of a season.” Ainge notes how team already doesn’t have enough minutes for current bigs.

— Chris Forsberg (@ChrisForsberg_) November 29, 2018