ESPN+ Exclusive: More Than an Athlete

Docuseries about LeBron and his three best friends’ improbable journey to the global stage.

— ESPN (@espn) December 6, 2018

This is ESPN finally, publicly, rolling over and letting LeBron James scratch its belly. This is the ‘worldwide leader in sports” deciding to come out and say “yes, we work for this guy”. Because make no mistake about it this is the most LUDICROUS thing I have ever seen in my entire life, hands down.

First of all, what is so fucking improbable about a guy with freak genetics (he’s 6’8″ folks) being a superstar basketball player? Really not a whole lot. Especially considering he also, ya know, likes basketball. Second of all, what did his buddies actually do?

What fucking pray tell do they contribute beyond being LeBron’s cronies? His “Day 1s” if you will. I’m not sure and maybe it’s a bit unfair for me to just assume they don’t do much, but the odds are ASTRONOMICAL that they are better at it than someone not handpicked by LeBron, just because.

What this “Docuseries” really should be is a way to weed out who should and should not be allowed to conceive. Because anyone who watches and/or enjoys a DOCUMENTARY ABOUT LEBRON JAMES’ FRIENDS should nevvvvver be allowed to reproduce. Ever.

So h/t to ESPN for deciding this was a good idea. In one fell swoop you’ve outed yourselves as LeBron’s personal media entity and the producer of the dumbest shit of all time.

Now pardon me while I DVR everything Fox Sports has ever made.

-Joey B