8 Touchdowns.
409 Yards.
Jaret Patterson put on one of the most dominant displays you'll ever see. pic.twitter.com/7CxLwZUwL2

— CBS Sports Network (@CBSSportsNet) November 28, 2020

Those are straight up Madden numbers that would cause your roommate to fire the clicker off the wall and quit in disgust. Jaret Patterson just put on a clinic and this wasn’t like Alabama beating up on some Division 2 school, these teams are pretty comparable. So for him to bust off 400+ yards and eight touchdowns is absolute banana land. I’m surprised the dude even had the stamina to finish the game after he had 36 carries including four touchdowns of 40+ yard runs. I forgot my putter head cover on the previous hole on Saturday and had to do a 100 yard wind sprint to pick it up and get back and I was smoked for the rest of the afternoon.

Although to be honest I do feel bad for Julian Edelman, who is still out with a knee injury so he probably was watching his alma mater get crushed. This is a man who’s school spirit runs so deep, to this day he still wears a Kent State shirt underneath his pads at every practice. So cheer up Jules, we’ll see you soon.