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Ezekiel Elliott, Suspended AGAIN!

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ESPN – A federal appeals court cleared the way Thursday for the NFL to impose a six-game suspension on Dallas Cowboys star Ezekiel Elliott over domestic violence allegations, siding with the league in the latest high-profile fight over its ability to punish players for off-field behavior. In a 2-1 decision, the 5th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals panel in New Orleans granted the league’s emergency request to set aside an injunction and ordered a district court in Texas to dismiss Elliott’s case. The NFL announced that the suspension was effective immediately, though further appeals were possible and the Cowboys are not playing this weekend.

As a guy that used a First Round pick to keep Ezekiel Elliott in my Fantasy Football league this year, I just need to get something off my chest.

Alright, now we can move on.

The NFL really is the goddamn WWE these days. Just drama week after week, storylines all over the place. The last two years was was Tom Brady and Deflategate with the Patriots trying to fight city hall (and losing). Now we got this.

I’m actually pretty shocked at this turn of events. As we talked about on The 300s Podcast recently, I really did not think that the NFL would be able to get this overturned and Zeke would be able to play all year. Basically just kick the can down the road until next season, similar to Brady.

The NFLPA’s new playbook seems to be lets just challenge everything in court and keep the NFL constantly in the news with shitty headlines until the league comes back to the table to negotiate player punishment.

HA! Silly me for thinking Roger Goodell would give up his dictator level of power so easily.

Now the crown jewel of my fantasy team, Ezekiel Elliott, is suspended once again. Full disclosure, if Zeke did what he’s accused of doing he’s obviously a scumbag. BUT, if he didn’t and Roger Goodell just tanked my fantasy season then I’m gonna flip my goddamn desk.

Yesterday news broke at the ripe old time of 5:01 pm as I was leaving my cube job. So I had to run to the waiver wire and deal with Sophie’s Choice of whether to pick up Darren McFadden (has been a healthy scratch all year) or Alfred Morris (has actually played football this season). I pulled the trigger and went with Morris, but I’m sure the Cowboys will turn to a guy who couldn’t get in uniform to be the bell cow back moving forward because fantasy football is a goddamn crapshoot.

And of course the Cowboys are on a bye this week so I have to wait another 9 days to see who the hell is gonna get the rock for Dallas.

Donald Trump Makes it Clear He’s a “Merry Christmas” Guy

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This guy is a big dumb animal, but even when its unintentional, he really is fucking hilarious.

“Well guess what, we’re saying Merry Christmas again.”

I mean he’s the ultimate example of “stick and move,” and “deny, deny accuse.” Just smokescreens everywhere. Oh Puerto Rico’s fucked? We’re saying Merry Christmas again. Boom. Huh? Russia? Well did you see these sons of bitches in the NFL? Misdirection strategy like you read about.

Not exactly a master politician, but as the director of the biggest reality TV show the world has ever seen? The guy is goddamn aces. Dude just puts on a show like he’s a talk radio host. Trump is basically Howard Stern at this point.

Assuming we don’t all get nuked to hell before he’s out of office, there’s one thing I know for a fact. And it doesn’t matter whether your a democrat or a republican. TrumpTV will be the highest rated thing in the history of entertainment.

Russia Used Pokemon GO to Mess with US Presidential Election. Wait WHAT?

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Yahoo – Russian cyber experts used the smartphone game Pokemon Go as part of their attempts to meddle with US politics, according to an investigation by CNN. Under the banner of Don’t Shoot Us, a collective that seemed to share the aims of Black Lives Matter but which is now believed to have been run by Russians, online participants were encouraged to use the game to inflame racial tensions. Players were told to visit real-world sites where police brutality had been recorded, and give their Pokemon characters names of victims, such as Eric Garner, who died on Staten Island. The winners of the Pokemon contest would receive Amazon gift cards after sharing images on social media, the Don’t Shoot Us site said. It is believed the campaign was an attempt to encourage black activism and sow discord between Americans.

This is some next level, diabolical shit. Seriously, just when you think this guy:

is a criminal mastermind who has reached his pinnacle, he goes ahead and tops himself. Using Pokemon GO, the goddamn pocket monsters game we all played as we blindly walked into oncoming traffic to catch yet another Pikachu because he had a special new hat.

Using *that* game to “inflame racial tensions” is way beyond the usual espionage type shit. My dumb brain can’t even comprehend a plot like this. Now obviously the scheme depended on same racist assholes to do the leg work, but its crazy how an outside force can really drive a wedge between people like this.

“A source confirmed to CNN that the Don’t Shoot Us Facebook page was one of the 470 accounts taken down after the company determined they were linked to the Internet Research Agency – a Kremlin-linked “troll farm”. The Facebook, Instagram and Twitter accounts belonging to the campaign are currently suspended. The group’s YouTube channel and website were both still active as of Thursday morning.”

Little late for that now, wouldn’t ya say Zuckerberg? The next time people scream Fake News, I don’t want you to argue with them about the validity of a specific news story, I want you to point them to this. To the goddamn Russian Government using a kid’s game to plant the seed of doubt in people and draw the darkest shit out of our country in the middle of a monumentally historic period. THAT is whats nuts.

Some real deus ex machina shit from ya boy Putin. Bravo, you election meddling motherfucker.

 

Friday Morning Randomness: What the FUCK Was That Snickers Commercial?

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A lot of people still haven’t seen this creepy ass commercial yet because somehow FOX and Big Candy have managed to keep it off YouTube.

But, this aired during the ALDS the other night and when I saw it I thought I had accidentally flipped the channel to SyFy by accident. Immediately hooked by the terrifying visuals I kept watching and the next 30 seconds were one of the best horror/suspense scenes I’ve watched in a long time. What the FUCK was this all about? SNICKERS! Wacky shit.

Someone dial up Stephen King and tell him he’s been put on notice, Snickers is the captain now.

Thursday Night Pick Em – NFL Week 6

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Philadelphia Eagles at Carolina Panthers (-3.5, 46)

We’ve worked all week for this and after four long days at your shitty cube job COLOR RUSH JERSEYS, I mean the NFL is back. Panthers are 3.5 favorites, but Carson Wentz is on fire (scored 39 pts on my fantasy bench last week NBD) and Wendell Smallwood is back for the Eagles. Plus Nelson Agholor looks great so I’m taking the Eagles here. Fly Eagles Fly. Eagles cover. 

Soo the Cash Me Outside Girl Has an Album and it is……FIRE

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So I’m just minding my own business listening to some good old fashioned Lupe Fiasco while working and I see this ad on Spotify. Bhad Bhabie?

Hold on a second, isn’t that the Cash Me Outside girl? Yep, that would be one Danielle Bregoli, who became famous after basically telling Dr. Phil to go fuck himself.

Well, apparently she has a rap album now. And I know this won’t be a popular opinion, but I listened to it and it is……FIRE. Now is making a 14-year-old white girl a street rapper the greatest idea? Maybe not, but what do I know I don’t have any kids. All I know is I am fully on board with these bangers.

#HIBICH

The 300s Reviews: Not Your Fathers Mountain Ale

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I’ve been excited about this for some time, as I wrote about the new drink when I first heard about its existence. It. Is. Here. In our first video edition of The 300s Reviews, we finally try the Mountain Dew booze we’ve been hearing so much about.

“So now theres an alcoholic Mountain Dew? I want to try it. I need to try it. But its dangerous territory. I’m gonna have to force myself to just sip it like I’m taking communion because if I black out on Mountain Dew booze and ruin the soda for myself I don’t know if I can continue on in this world.”

Division III Football Player Cut by Team for Kneeling During National Anthem

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ESPN – A Division III football player has been dismissed from his team for kneeling during the national anthem before a game last weekend. Gyree Durante, a backup quarterback at Albright College in Reading, Pennsylvania, was kicked off the team after he knelt by himself during the national anthem before last Saturday’s 41-6 loss to Delaware Valley University.An Albright College spokeswoman said in a statement that the team’s leadership council, which consists of 24 players, voted to kneel during the coin toss and stand during the national anthem. Durante then decided to kneel during the national anthem on his own.

Alright, why don’t we just pump the fucking breaks here, Albright College. You’re a D-III liberal arts school; not the goddamn Dallas Cowboys. Its one thing for a multi-billion dollar industry to start getting pissy when players kneeling is screwing with their advertisers. Its another thing entirely for this football factory in Reading, Pennsylvania to start cutting teenagers for protesting. Not to mention this is college. A Liberal Arts college. What the hell do kids do in college besides drink and shackle themselves with a lifetime worth of debt if they’re not able to protest? Kids protest legitimately everything in college. Its supposed to be a learning environment. Not a place you should cut a kid for standing up (no pun intended) for what he believes in.

Now I’m pretty sure D-III schools don’t give out scholarships so its not like they ruined the kid’s life or anything, but come on. If we’re being honest, intentionally getting cut was probably half the reason he did it. Why am I practicing and going to film sessions and waking up early to wreck my knees and get CTE when I’m in college and should be funneling vodka cokes and blacking out on a Tuesday afternoon.

And we can all cut the crap about how he made his team look bad by being the only guy kneeling. Except for Captain America here:

Josh Powell, a freshman defensive end from Tampa, told NBC 10 that Durante broke his teammates’ trust by taking a knee during the national anthem. “We trusted him throughout the week, after time and time again he told us he would stand,” Powell said, according to NBC 10. “When you can’t have a player on a team that you can trust, he’s got to go.”

This guy just sounds like a Grade-A dickhead, a real practice hero. The guy who’s laying the hit stick on teammates during walkthroughs.

Look, I wouldn’t kneel during the anthem myself as I’d feel uncomfortable doing so, but thats the point. Thats what a lot of people are missing. Its supposed to make people feel uncomfortable, otherwise it wouldn’t get attention. It wouldn’t be a worthwhile protest if it wasn’t pissing people off. Now the next step is to articulate why you’re protesting and work towards having intelligent discussions about what everyone can do to impact change. Is every single player kneeling able to intelligently articulate the exact reasons why they’re kneeling and what it means to them? Probably not, but there’s plenty who are able to do just that so trying to ban kneeling or forcing players to stand will only create more divisiveness and ultimately other forms of protest.

Its supposed to start a conversation and make everyone take a look at the world we live in, for better or for worse, and try to understand the way others see the world from their perspective. Its called empathy. Maybe they’re right, maybe they’re not, but the truth is almost always somewhere in the middle. So by outright dismissing the protest because you don’t agree with the method, you’re missing the boat.

United States Failing to Qualify for the 2018 World Cup is Downright Embarrassing

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CBS Sports – The U.S. men’s national team will only be spectators during the 2018 World Cup in Russia. That’s because the USMNT lost 2-1 at Trinidad and Tobago on Tuesday night in the final match of the hexagonal group stage. The loss, plus a winning goal from Panama in the dying seconds against Costa Rica gave the Panamanians the third and final direct spot in the group, eliminating Bruce Arena’s squad. Honduras defeated Mexico to earn the fourth spot. 

For the first time since 1986 the United States won’t be playing in the World Cup. The USMNT failing to qualify for the 2018 World Cup is downright embarrassing. The worst part? A goddamn DRAW against Trinidad and Tobago and they qualify, which was apparently too much to ask.

Just a quick side note, as of a September ranking by a little organization known as FIFA, the USA men’s team was ranked 28th in the world. Wanna guess what Trinidad and Tobago was? Come on, guess. Well, they came in at just under triple digits at No. 99.

A few spots behind Sierra Leone; a country made famous by Leo Dicaprio and Kanye West for fucking blood diamonds.

After a 2014 World Cup run that got people excited and legitimately asking if the US could finagle a Top-8 finish in 2018 and play with the big boys. Welp, a loss to motherfucking Trinidad and Tobago may have just killed an entire generation of young, budding soccer fans. Just to put this into perspective, the earliest the United States can make the World Cup next, I will be in my mid 30s.

People forget that qualifying for the World Cup isn’t exactly a foregone conclusion for the US, even if it should be. Well all that goodwill, excitement, and momentum that American soccer had built up over the last 7 years is gone. And they won’t even have a chance to redeem themselves for another 5 years. And who’s to say they’ll be any better?

American soccer has struggled to ever get a real foothold in the international scene. 2014 was one of the most exciting World Cup runs ever as the USMNT got to the round of 16 and were eliminated, but in absolutely thrilling fashion, which only got people that much more excited for 2018. Seriously, if you’re even half a soccer fan, read this quick recap of that final game and remember the good times. I know where I was. I was slugging beers at Clarke’s while the sun was still up like a goddamn soccer hooligan.

“The U.S. drew Belgium in the round of 16. After spending much of the match defending against Belgium’s potent attack, with goalkeeper Tim Howard setting a World Cup finals record for saves in a match, the U.S. survived with a 0–0 score after 90 minutes, sending the match to extra time. After quickly falling behind 2–0 to Belgium in extra time, the U.S. cut the deficit in half in the 107th minute when substitute Julian Green volleyed in a lobbed through ball from Michael Bradley, but were unable to score a second and were eliminated.”

Anddd now we’re back to square one. I don’t think anyone is more bullshit than our boy and former Revs player Taylor Twellman though. TAKE EM TO THE WOODSHED, TAYLOR.

At least we got this A+ quote Jozy Altidore to put it all into perspective:

“If you don’t look at yourself after this individually, then you’re fucked up in the head,” Altidore said.

BREAKING: The Red Sox Just Fired John Farrell

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Boston Herald – After five years of near constant scrutiny, which never went away despite three division titles and a World Series, John Farrell is out as Red Sox manager. He was fired on Wednesday, two days after the Red Sox lost in the division for the second year in a row.

Yesterday in our Red Sox post mortem I asked the question has the John Farrell era had finally come to an end? John Henry answered that resoundingly this morning, firing Manager John less than 48 hours after the season came to an end. Here’s what I said yesterday on the likelihood of Farrell losing his job.

“I think his ultimate downfall is his inability to be that armchair psychologist. Manager John is not the guy that will call someone into his office to lay down on his couch and just talk things through. One of my favorite stories of a manager excelling at this was one about how Terry Francona used to call players over to talk with him right behind home plate as the team took BP. So everyone in the world could see them, but no one could hear them. This is an area where Manager John is sorely lacking, which became painfully obvious on multiple occasions this year, none more so than David Price blowing up on Dennis Eckersley and then essentially defending Price and the situation was never really resolved. In a market like Boston, managing the clubhouse and all its personalities is the No. 1 job requirement, which is why I think Farrell is ultimately shown the door this offseason.“

For a guy the Red Sox literally had to trade draft picks to the Blue Jays to acquire, he never seemed to be the John Wayne character we were all led to believe he was. I don’t know if it was a matter of not adjusting to the additional media responsibilities as a manager or if he just doesn’t present well, but Farrell always seemed to be playing catch up. Whether it was defending players that never seemed to have his back or making questionable in-game decisions, the guy always had people second guessing him.

Lets not forget that he did manage the team to a World Series in 2013 though. That may have been a matter of Farrell being along for the ride with a talented and motivated team, but he was still a part of history.

So while I am never the guy clamoring for a manager to lose his job, I think a change was needed. Lets just not trash this guy on the way out the door like we’ve seen with this ownership group so many times before.