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Jets QB Christian Hackenberg Sent Off the Field for Terrible Practice Performance

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SI – On Monday at Jets’ camp, Christian Hackenberg was having trouble just breaking the huddle correctly. During one rep in seven-on-seven drills, as he approached the line of scrimmage, a coach ordered him to re-huddle. When he broke the huddle again—in the wrong fashion for a second time—he was ordered off the field. No one expects the Jets to contend this season, but at some point, they will have to decide whether Hackenberg is the answer at quarterback, a decision that could affect their 2018 draft plans and their franchise for years to come.

First off, what the FUCK does this even mean? He didn’t exit the huddle correctly? I don’t even understand what that entails. Did he not clap after calling the play? Did he try and line up in the slot like the old Wildcat days? Its such a Jets problem to have too. The guy can’t even get out of the HUDDLE to get ready to attempt to play QB. Forget actually playing QB well. Baby steps guys. J-E-T-S. Just Enough To Suck.

Pour One Out for Patriots Great Vince Wilfork Who Retired Today

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Leave it to the big man to retire doing the only thing he loves more than football; grilling and dancing.

“No more cleats, I’m moving on to smoked meats”

I’m gonna need a pair of No. 75 Wilfork overalls. Rompers are out. Overalls are in.

But seriously, round of applause to Big Vince for an outstanding career with the Patriots. A 325 pounder with the baby soft hands of a wide receiver.

Guy was an absolute ANIMAL on the field…

…and a teddy bear off of it.

Wilfork went from a 1st round pick to starting in the Super Bowl his rookie year  to underrated D-Lineman to the undisputed best nose tackle in the game to the wise veteran to the Grill Master you see today. We’ll miss ya Vince. Now CUE THE HIGHLIGHTS

Coming Soon – A Football Life: Wes Welker LETS GOOO

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ESPN – NFL Network announced its lineup for the popular “A Football Life” series in 2017, and the name that jumps off the page from a Patriots perspective is receiver Wes Welker. His story is scheduled to air Oct. 6. When the Patriots traded for him in 2007, giving up a second- and seventh-round pick, the initial reaction of some was that it was a lot to give up for a slot receiver. All Welker did was go on to catch 672 passes for 7,459 yards and 37 touchdowns from 2007 to 2012.

As a Patriots fan I am JACKED UP, but even as a casual football fan you have got to be excited for this. One of the best stories of the past decade in the NFL. An undrafted free agent in 2004 that played sparingly for the Chargers and Dolphins before landing with the Patriots. He also has the most receptions by any undrafted player in NFL history.

I think because of how great Julian Edelman has been and how much success the Patriots have had post-Welker (2 Super Bowl titles) people forget just how great Welker was for the Pats. He led the league in catches in 2007, 2009 and 2011. He’s also the Patriots all-time leader in receptions. The guy came out of nowhere in another example of a classic Bill Belichick diamond in the rough, highway robbery trade.

Basically a special teams player for most of his career, Belichick picked up Wes Welker before the 2007 season for a 2nd and 7th round draft pick. And let me tell you, I was fucking fired up for that trade. Belichick is notorious for trading for guys that roast him head to head. Wes Welker did that in spades. In Week 5 of 2006 as a little known receiver for the Dolphins, Welker had 9 catches for 77 yards against the Pats. Nothing thats going to have a plaque in Canton, but he also returned 4 kickoffs (25 yards avg per return) and also fielded 2 punts (avg 9 yards per return). This guy could do it all, which as we all know Belichick lives for guys like that. It was the same with Troy Brown and then later on with Edelman (who even played cornerback). So Bill plucked the guy out of Miami and all he did was catch 672 balls for 7,459 yards with 37 TD from 2007 to 2012. Not to mention 112 catches for 1,100+ yards and 8 TDs in his first year with the Pats in 07 as part of the greatest offense the NFL has ever seen.

So get excited for another great A Football Life and pull your 83 jerseys out.

PS – If you still blame Welker for that “drop” in the second Giants Super Bowl you’re an asshole. I love Tom Brady, but that was an overthrown ball. And yes, having two more SB wins since then (5 total if you’re counting) helps make that clear analysis easier.

Smokin Jay Cutler is Back!

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You thought this guy was going to go quietly into the night? I don’t think so. Not if there’s a $10 million offer on the table from the Miami Dolphins. I think Jay Cutler is a better QB than he’s ever gotten credit for, but I also think his biggest problem has always been perception. He looks like a guy that does not give a shit and doesn’t really want to play. Whether thats actually true or not nobody except maybe Kristin Cavallari knows, but hey perception is reality.

Which is why Cutler signing with the Dolphins is very interesting. Its the best team he’s been on, at least offensively, in years plus its in the warm and comfortable city of Miami. Maybe he puts the Menthols down for a few months and has a mini career resurgence a la Kurt Warner in Arizona. Or maybe he collects $10 Million to half-ass a season before going into the FOX booth.

Cutler started his career off as a promising young QB, then became salty as fuck when new Denver coach Josh McDaniels tried to trade him for Matt Cassel, forced a trade, landed with the Bears, played pretty well there for a couple of years with Brandon Marshall, then the team started to get worse before bottoming out last year and becoming a complete dumpster fire. Add all that to the fact that Chicago is a miserably cold city during the football season and I can see how Smokin Jay Cutler was born.

BUT, Cutler’s also only thrown for 4,000+ yards once in a season, and thrown 25+ TDs 3 times in 10 years. For a quick AFC East comparison, Tom Brady has thrown for 4,000+ yards 8 different times and has thrown 25+ TDs 12 times in his career. So Tom Brady he is not.

But the Dolphins don’t really need him to be. They just need him to be similar, if not better, than the level of production they were getting out of Ryan Tannehill. I think its a pretty safe bet to assume most Dolphins fans are pretty lukewarm on Tannehill. He’s been good, not great. He hasn’t made the jump to a top tier QB like most hoped he would. Again for comparisons sake, Tannehill has thrown for 4,000+ yards twice in five years and thrown 25+ TDs just once in his career. His career completion percentage of 62.7 is just a tick higher than Cutler’s 61.9. Tannehill is more mobile, but the difference is not as much as you would think. The last four years Tannehill has rushed for 164, 141, 311, 238 and 211 yards (4.9 Yards per Attempt for his career) with 6 TDs. In that same timespan Cutler has rushed for 24 (limited to 5 games by injury), 201, 191, 118, and 233 (4.5 Yards per Attempt for his career) with 3 TDs. So not a huge difference.

My point is the Dolphins aren’t completely and totally fucked. Cutler is not Tom Brady, but he’s better than most people think.

Okay, okay, you want to see how he stacks up against the most famous free agent QB ever in Colin Kaepernick too? Despite his gazelle like speed, Kaepernick “only” averages 6.1 Yards per Rushing Attempt. People remember those who huge runs in the playoffs a few years back and it skews perception. In the 2012 playoffs he rushed for 264 yards and in the 2013 playoffs he rushed for 243 yards and 4 total TDs, which is 9.9 Yards per Attempt). Overall though? Not that much better. Not so much better you want to deal with bitchy questions from everyone holding a microphone for the next 6 months. His passing stats? Career completion percentage of 59.8 (lower than both Cutler and Tannehill). He’s never thrown for 4,000+ yards. He’s never thrown for 3,500+ yards. Never threw 25+ TDs, he’s only topped 20 once. Kaepernick obviously has a much smaller sample size of games started than Cutler, but those are the numbers guys.

So if anything the Dolphins will be interesting to watch, assuming Jay Cutler wants to do more than just collect a paycheck. But if he truly just wanted to snake another check, Cutler could have signed with the Jets months ago. Maybe he sees a legit opportunity here with Miami. The Patriots have had the AFC East on lock for a while now so its not like they will suddenly contend for the division. But similar to the Vikings getting Sam Bradford last year, except much better because Miami didn’t have to give up a FIRST round draft pick to get Cutler, brining in a solid, veteran QB probably keeps them in contention for a Wild Card spot. Smokin Jay Cutler is back indeed.

Time to Make the Donuts

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You may still have a slightly higher than normal heart rate this morning. After last night’s intense Game of Thrones episode the best thing to probably do this Monday morning is to try and get back to neutral with this mashup of Jaime Lannister and Internet Hall of Famer Leeroy Jenkins. Dead on.

 

**spoilers if you’re a child and haven’t watched GoT yet this week**

We’ll have a full breakdown of “The Spoils of War” and our weekly podcast breaking everything down soon.

UPS Delivery Man Takes Down Package Thief in the South End

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If theres one group of people you do not want to fuck with its people in the service industry, ESPECIALLY delivery guys and mailmen. There’s a reason they call it going POSTAL when people lose their shit. Walking through neighborhoods in 95 degree heat to deliver you mail that you know and he knows that you will never open and probably throw straight in the trash. And on top of all that you got some shithead who’s gonna steal a package right from under this guy’s nose? So this UPS driver said nay, no more, not on my watch. I don’t care if you work at Wal-Mart, at some point you gotta take a little personal pride in your work, especially when someone is fucking with your job. I used to work as a bouncer back in the day and we routinely had to refuse people if they had too much to drink, but if you were cool about it we may let it slide. But when you’re a loud, mouthy dickhead? Well guess what? Me and every other guy making $10/hour just made it our life’s mission to make sure you have a shitty time. And thats what this UPS guy did. He had enough. You do not fuck with a man at his job unless you’re ready to face the repercussions. And in this case it was an old black man, who just happened to be a former track athlete, chasing you down and tackling you to the ground until the police arrived. Pick your battles wisely boys.

Red Sox Ownership Blocked Dombrowski from Trading More Top Prospects. Good.

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WEEI – After a number of deals involving top-level prospects thinned the Red Sox farm system, ownership ordered president of baseball operations Dave Dombrowski not to deal any top-end talent at the July 31 trade deadline, according to a report. Per Sean McAdam of Boston Sports Journal (subscription required), ownership made it clear to Dombrowski at the deadline that he was not to touch the top of the farm system. He instead dealt middle-tier prospects to acquire infielder Eduardo Nunez and reliever Addison Reed.

I know, I know, the Red Sox brought Dave Dombrowski in to build the team his way. And his way just happens to be to trade every prospect under the fucking sun to win now. Except theres GOT to be a point where you sit back and think hey maybe lets pump the breaks so we have SOME young guys in the pipeline. I am far from a bleeding heart prospect hoarder. I’ve seen too many “untouchable” prospects turn into absolute scrubs like Henry Owens (Baseball America No. 44 prospect in 2015). And for every Anthony Rizzo (Red Sox No. 8 prospect before getting dealt) you regret trading away there are 10 Casey Kellys (as high as Baseball America No. 24 prospect in 2009).

Something we talked about on our all Red Sox podcast this week (SUBSCRIBE!) was how Big Z and I disagreed on what to do with prospects. He says ship em all out because you’re going to miss with prospects more than you hit. I disagree. Not because I think they’re all going to be studs. I’m more concerned with the PERCEPTION of value they bring, which is why I always hated the Pomeranz trade. Admittedly he’s been pitching really well of late and Anderson Espinoza just blew his arm out and will have to get Tommy John. BUT, at the time Espinoza was your top pitching prospect and one of the most highly regarded prospects in all of baseball. Dombrowski traded him for a reliever turned starter who ultimately ended up being a middle innings mop up guy for the Red Sox down the stretch.

Sure he’s pitched well as of late, but you can’t point to the Espinoza injury and say Dombrowski won the trade. Thats using the benefit of hindsight. My point is the PERCEPTION of Espinoza’s value was much higher and the Sox should have gotten a lot more for him or held onto him. Not because I think he’s going to be the next Pedro, but because the consensus around the league was he would be a stud, which means you gotta get more.

Not to mention, take a look at Dombrowski’s last place of employment; the Detroit Tigers. Dombrowski had them humming along pretty good for a couple of years but he GUTTED the farm system and now they are in the middle of a brutal rebuild. I would hate to see the Sox in a similar position in 3-4 years. You can always add expensive free agents, but you need to supplement that with young, cheap prospects or you’ll quickly turn into the pre-Baby Bomber Yankees with Teixeira, CC Sabathia, A-Rod and others collecting paychecks on their way out the door towards retirement.

All of this is a long winded way of saying I’m glad someone put the stop sign up on Dombrowski IF it was over concerns of dealing more top prospects. If it was about concerns of going over the luxury tax then I retract this whole blog post because you’re the fucking Red Sox, you can afford it. But since he took over as President of baseball operations Dombrowski has stripped the farm system. In the two years since taking over he has traded 16+ prospects. You can read Alex Speier’s breakdown of them all, but here are the highlights below.

  • Manuel Margot (Part of the Craig Kimbrel trade: the No. 14 prospect in MLB at the start of 2016 and last week’s NL Player of the Week)
  • Yoan Moncada (Part of the Chris Sale trade: Sale has been a stud so no regrets about this, but Moncada was the No. 2 prospect in MLB this season behind only…Andrew Benintendi)
  • Michael Kopech (Sale trade: 100 mph heater with a 3.25 ERA and 134 K’s in 105 innings in Triple-A this year)
  • Travis Shaw (Tyler Thornburg trade: not technically a prospect, but Thornburg has yet to pitch for the Sox and Shaw is batting a cool .291 with 24 HR and 74 RBI for the Brewers)

I’m just not sold on Dombrowski’s player evaluation, which is probably my biggest concern. At least when it comes to the health or mental fortitude of players. Guys he’s traded for that have gotten injured include Thornbug, Carson Smith, Drew Pomeranz and not to mention signing David Price who has battled injuries as well as the local media. Yuck.

At some point you have to hold onto the young guys. The current team is littered with home grown talent (that are cheap too) including Mookie Betts, Jackie Bradley Jr, Xander Bogaerts, Rafael Devers, Andrew Benintendi. Thats a pretty stocked roster why not trade away some young guys then? Well because when the Red Sox have needed depth due to injuries they’ve basically been up shits creek because of all those prospects dealt. Thats how you get Henry Owens (now in Double-A) and Doug Fister making starts. Thank God for the way Devers has played or the Sox might be in a real bad place down the stretch.

The Red Sox currently have 3 prospects in Baseball America’s 2017 Top 100 – Benintendi (No. 1), Devers (No. 18) and Jason Groome (No. 43) — down from 5 in 2016 when they had Moncada (No. 3), Benintendi (No. 15), Devers (No. 18), Espinoza (No. 19) and Kopech (No. 89). Kopech jumped from 89 to 32, Moncada jumped from 3 to. 2, Benintendi jumped to 15 to 1, Devers stayed at No. 18, Espinzoa actually went down from 19 to 21 (2017 is Groome’s first year in pro ball).

My point is you don’t need to hold onto ALL of the prospects, but you do need to hold onto SOME of them. Your move, Dave.

ESPNU Re-branding as The Ocho in a Hilarious and Timely Joke

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ESPN – Drawing inspiration from the 2004 hit movie “Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story” featuring Vince Vaughn, Christine Taylor and Ben Stiller, ESPNU will become ESPN8: “The Ocho” on Tuesday, Aug. 8, or more appropriately, 8/8. For one day only, the faux network will feature a line-up of unconventional sporting events ranging from Disc Golf to Ultimate Trampoline Dodgeball and Firefighters World Challenge playing off the mantra highlighted in the movie: “Bringing you the Finest in Seldom Seen Sports”.

They say the key to comedy is timing. Well nothing more relevant and timely than a joke from a movie that came out THIRTEEN years ago. ESPN execs are probably sitting at their big desks up in their ivory towers thinking, “Yup, NAILED it.” Take the weekend off boys, our work here is done.

As bad as this joke thats almost old enough to drive is, I have to cover both sides of the story because I’m a former Big-J journalist and thats what the great ones do. So as stale as this idea is, something that will never not be funny are the This is SportsCenter commercials. I nearly flunked a final in college because I blew off studying to watch a best of This is SportsCenter Top 50 2-hour special. So you get credit for that ESPN, but not too much since Wieden+Kennedy created this idea. Only the most famous ad agency in the world. But hey, take the small victories where you can. CUE THE HIGHLIGHTS.