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The Red Sox Front Office is a “Miserable Place to Work” Just Like Your Job

Yahoo – The last two men in charge of baseball operations – Ben Cherington and Dombrowski – were shown the door quickly after winning championships, and those moves are painting the Red Sox in a very bad light, according to ESPN’s Buster Olney.

These decisions loosely frame the industry perception of the Red Sox as a chaotic company, a miserable place to work. Boston owner John Henry needs to understand this, because it is why some of the people he’d probably love to consider as possible replacements for Dombrowski privately dismiss the idea out of hand.”

Olney writes that some potential candidates have no interest in working for Henry, because they “doubt he’d have the patience to back his next general manager through the difficult crossroads ahead.”… A wide-held view in other front offices is that the highly respected and well-liked Red Sox president Sam Kennedy stands as a thin buffer between the team devolving to the level of the Mets, the team generally regarded by rival executives as baseball’s model for dysfunction. “If Sam ever walked away,” said one official, “the whole thing would be a complete mess.”

Well thats sobering to read for a team with 4 titles in the last 15 years. Are the Red Sox a complete mess of a franchise that wins in spite of its values, philosophy, and culture, not because of it? 100% Thats what happens when you have finishes of 1st, 1st, 1st, last, last, 1st, last over the previous seven years. So that is two World Series titles and three last place finishes across two GMs and three managers in seven years. Not exactly a model of consistency. In fact, the Sox have finished 15 or more games out of first place four times since 2012 (including 2019), which is the first time they had achieved that level of mediocrity since 1998.

But even with all that said for Buster Olney, one of the most well respected baseball writers in the country, to report that Fenway has become “a miserable place to work” is still startling.

I feel like I’m living in Groundhogs Day. Didn’t this same exact thing already happen a few years back? Am I the only one that read Feeding the Monster? Or the Francona book?

Those two books could not depict the highs and the lows of this organization any better than they already did.

Now for as much as we dump on the Mets for being an absolute circus:

It would seem the perception of the Red Sox, despite all their success, is not far off. That is ENRAGING as a fan of this team because it has been and should be one of the top 2 or 3 jobs in all of baseball. You have more money than almost any team to spend, a fan base that shows up and pays through the nose to support the team, and a roster built around home grown talent. Yet somehow we’ve arrived at a point where nobody of note even wants the job.

That all leads us to the most pressing question of all; who the hell is going to take the reigns for the Red Sox moving forward? I think we’re all in agreement that Theo Epstein returning would be a wet dream for everyone in town….but that ain’t happening. Olney makes it sound like nobody wants the job because John Henry has created an absolute shitshow of dysfunction at all levels, which is ironic because it all started when Henry chose a nearly 70 year old Larry Lucchino over Epstein all those years ago. During the Epstein era the Red Sox were a team of efficiency and consistency. The team boasted one of the best farm systems in baseball for years and supplemented homegrown guys like Jon Lester, Jonathan Papelbon, Dustin Pedroia, Jacoby Ellsbury, Clay Buccholz with high priced free agents. There was always a balance and the team rarely pushed all of its chips into the middle of the table to sacrifice the future for the present. Sure, what Dave Dombrowski did was exactly what John Henry brought him here to do. I don’t fault Dombrowski because we knew who he was when he got here. The Sox won a title, but absolutely ravaged the farm system to do it. Boston now has the worst farm system in Major League Baseball. He’s basically the baseball equivalent of Thanos.

Now Peter Abraham is making it sound like the Red Sox are very aware of this negative perception around the league and are resigned to promoting from within. According to Abraham it looks like the Sox are positioning the pieces that would point to an internal candidate being the next GM.

Maybe thats a good thing who knows. Maybe having a guy thats been with the organization for years and already understands the internal workings on Yawkey Way will benefit the team in the long run. Instead of slapping a band aid on things with a big name. However, the Sox better have a plan in place. Don’t just promote someone from within just because you couldn’t do any better. Pick a guy, develop a philosophy, and stick to it. Most importantly, give the guy the power to make the tough moves. The last thing this team needs is another puppet that just does the bidding of his bosses.

Just don’t tell me you’re letting a homegrown ace walk because you don’t sign pitchers over 30 and then sign a pitcher over 30 to the biggest contract ever given to a pitcher a year later. Your move, John Henry.

It Would Appear the Patriots Are Digging Their Heels In On Antonio Brown

I woke up today, as you all did, to yet another news story of Antonio Brown being an absolute moron and allegedly intimidating an accuser of his.

Has this guy never seen The Town before?

Live look at AB’s lawyer:

The craziest part is that the Patriots seem to be digging their heels in on the matter. Its one thing to bring in a guy who just seemed to be a mercurial diva wide receiver and then get caught with your pants down regarding the civil case, as they reportedly did. Its another matter to have him allegedly intimidating his own accusers while on the Patriots active roster. Everybody knows the Patriots are better than The Cleaners in John Wick when it comes to cleaning up a mess and putting a player on the straight and narrow.

But most of those players in question were just diva a-hole football players. Antonio Brown seems to be at best a child who’s never been told no and a scumbag at worst. Most of these things are still just allegations so no one is legally required to do anything, but Bill Belichick in particular seems to be losing his touch with the media. For the second time Bill got visibly frustrated and walked out of a press conference when peppered with Antonio Brown questions.

I didn’t expect Belichick to actually talk about AB’s legal situation, but I never expected him to noticeably get his back up and storm off the podium like he’s done now twice.

Why then is the team willing to put up with all the bullshit?

Former Patriot turned sports talk radio host Ted Johnson as well as MMQB reporter Bert Breer have both theorized that Belichick is putting up with whatever he has to with AB because he knows Brown can help him chase the won thing thats always alluded him; 19-0.

Its only Week 3 so 19-0 is fun to talk about and its easy to turn a blind eye for most Patriots fans, but these stories are piling up at an alarming rate for a team that didn’t have a dire need for Brown. If the Pats are 1-1 its probably a lot easier for Bill to just say fuck it and cut bait, but is he holding onto Brown for an all out attempt at going undefeated? I don’t know, but I do know its getting harder to defend the silence from the team.

I was never going to defend the move *or* AB because he clearly is out to lunch, but how long will the team, and Robert Kraft specifically, take heat on behalf of an employee who hasn’t even been around long enough to play a home game yet?

Tulane Pulled Out the Old Fake Kneel Play to Beat Houston

LOVE IT! Give me all the trick plays. Tulane pulled the old fake kneel out of their playbook in a tie game with 18 seconds to go. Naturally they immediately followed this up with a 60 yard hail mary TD to win the game in walkoff fashion.

I am an absolute schill for trick plays. I still remember the fake spike Brady connected with Randy Moss on for on a TD against the Washington R-Words in 2007.

Or what about the Ravens pulling out the fake punt direct snap running play against the goddamn Dolphins?

I’ll never forget the double pass the Patriots pulled off against the Ravens in the playoffs in 2014 with Edelman launching a bomb to Danny Amendola for a TD.

Hell in that same game the Patriots were confusing the shit out of the Ravens with their ineligible/eligible lineman formations. So much so that the league immediately changed the rule to prevent this.

Give me all the trick plays, hook and ladders, reverses, you name it; if you have some trickery in your playbook dump em out.

I completely forgot the Patriots also ran this fake kneel play in the Falcons Super Bowl trying to pop a walk off TD at the end of regulation.

When they finally started including trick plays in Madden is when things got real fun. I would bust out a HB toss to a downfield pass at least 5 times a game because if you connect on even one it would cause your buddy to spike his PS4 clicker. Not to mention the fake punt pass play, its just too bad every punter not named Adam Vinatieri has a worse arm than Johnny Damon.

TLDR; major props to Tulane for busting out a ridiculous fake play to help them steal a win. Need more of that in sports.

Phil Mickelson and His Jacked Calves Are On Standby to Replace Tom Brady If Necessary

So yesterday news broke that Tom Brady was on the Patriots injury report after being limited at practice with a calf injury. I’m not too worried because this is the same guy that was on the Patriots injury report every week for approximately a decade with a shoulder. However, in case anything tragic does transpire, we’ve got Phil Mickelson and his JACKED calves on standby.

Even Brady himself was on board with at least a few tips from Phil on how he built those leg cannons.

In case you’ve somehow forgotten, Phil has absolute porterhouse steaks packed into his calves.

PS – Phil absolutely SMOKED a guy for shooting his shot trying to get 18 holes in with the legend and I am wheezing.

Rumors Swirling the Patriots Will Wear Their 90s Blue Throwback Jerseys This Season

YESSS. I’ve been campaigning for the Patriots to break out these bad boys for yearsss. The red throwbacks and these beauties are the only thing I will wear when playing Madden. They’re just so awesomely bad and a perfect time capsule of the 90s with the garish two-toned blue and the oversized logos on the sleeves. Now granted this is still just a rumor that seems to have taken on a life of its own after a non-blue check marked account tweeted it out. So lets all take it with a gigantic grain of salt, but theres also this.

Now the real question is when the Patriots do take these jerseys off of mothballs, do I wear the Drew Bledsoe or Ben Coates? Decisions, decisions.

Update: It’s not happening. Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is never try.

Last Night I Had to Root for the Jets. I Don’t Know How People Do This

With the prospect of falling to 0-2 staring me dead in the face, I needed an extremely reasonable 8 points from Jamison Crowder to win my fantasy football matchup. For a guy that had 17 targets and 17 points in Week 1 that seemed pretty reasonable, except for the fact the guy that gave him all those targets was out with MONO. I’m not here to slut shame anyone, but you really put me in a shitty spot, Sam.

So with that being said I was tasked with watching the entire Jets game AND rooting for a backup QB to feed my guy. Naturally Crowder had a huge catch called back on a penalty and Trevor Siemian failed to impress all night. At least he was a guy with a few years in the league and 20+ starts under his belt though; that gave me hope for a touchdown pass. Welp, once he broke (probably) his ankle I was then forced to root for a 2nd year THIRD string QB in Luke Faulk who is apparently Chad Pennington reincarnated.

Meanwhile the “offensive guru” (Booger McFarland’s words not mine) Adam Gase just set football back about 50 years as he refused to call a play that didn’t involve Le’Veon Bell running the ball or Le’Veon Bell catching a screenpass at the line of scrimmage. The Jets apparently punted on the entire concept of the forward pass last night and were appropriately rewarded with a 3 point performance.

My guy Crowder? The guy I needed 8 points from? Yea he got 6.

HOW DO YOU PEOPLE LIVE THIS WAY??

PS – My other option was Kenyan Drake, the running back from the Dolphins that just got shutout 43-0 so no that wasn’t an option.

Seinfeld is Headed to Netflix. LETS GOO

Hollywood ReporterSeinfeld will be master of a new domain starting in 2021. Netflix has landed worldwide rights to the iconic sitcom in a five-year deal with distributor Sony. The show will move from current rightsholder Hulu when its deal is up in 2021…First reported by the L.A. Times, the deal will bring Seinfeld’s global streaming rights under one roof for the first time. Hulu’s current $150 million-per-year deal is for domestic rights only; Amazon has held rights in most other territories around the world…”Seinfeld is the television comedy that all television comedy is measured against,” said Netflix chief content officer Ted Sarandos. “It is as fresh and funny as ever, and will be available to the world in 4K for the first time. We can’t wait to welcome Jerry, Elaine, George and Kramer to their new global home on Netflix.”…Acquired series like Seinfeld, Friends and The Office are huge drivers of usage on streaming platforms. Nielsen consumption data for 2018 said Netflix users in the U.S. watched about 85 billion minutes of The Office and Friends — the equivalent of about 25 hours for every Netflix subscriber in the country.

This is a Power. Move. by Netflix after losing all the Marvel properties due to the mouse launching its own streaming platform in Disney+. Oh we can’t have Iron Man 3 anymore? Alright, well I guess we’ll just go acquire the most popular TV show of all time. Imagine being good enough at anything that people will pay to watch you? Now imagine being so good that people (Netflix) will pay ($150M per YEAR) to watch you from 20 years ago. Mind boggling shit.

Seinfeld and The Simpsons have shaped my sense of humor more than any other TV show, movie, stand up comedian or any other form of pop culture in America. I can make a Seinfeld or Simpsons reference for anything and do so just about every day, much to the chagrin of my family and friends. I actually went out of my way one time to go meet the Soup Nazi in downtown Boston a couple years back.

There are few shows better suited to 11 pm reruns than Seinfeld. A 22 minute episode with multiple plot lines where I can zone in and out and fall asleep watching reruns from 20 years ago. Granted Seinfeld is on about 75% of the time I’m home on a channel somewhere anyways, but thats besides the point. Now I can watch any episode of Seinfeld at any time and that is exhilarating for a couch potato such as myself.

Netflix *really* needs to invent a random next episode option though because there is nothing worse than searching for an episode to watch. How many people spend more time browsing Netflix than actually watching Netflix? Its why theres 50 things in my queue that I never intend to actually watch. I don’t know what episode I want to watch, just play something goddamnit.

Has Kobe Bryant Gone Soft? Says Team USA Will “Win Some, Lose Some and Thats Just How It Goes.”

ESPNKobe Bryant thinks Team USA might have to get used to a new reality of losing in major events…”It’s not a matter of the rest of the world catching up to the U.S., it’s that the rest of the world has been caught up for quite some time,” Bryant said at the Wukesong Sports Center. “And it’s to the point now where us in the U.S. are going to win some, we’re going lose some. And that’s just how it goes.

When I first read that my initial reaction was straight out of Kobe’s old commercial with Kanye:

You win some, you lose some? This is the Black Mamba for christ’s sake. The guy who still has a blood feud with Shaq nearly 20 years later because he’s so psychotically competitive he couldn’t get along with his own teammate, despite being in the midst of a three-peat.

THAT guy is the one telling everyone in the United States that “eh shit happens, the rest of the world is also pretty good so you might win, you might lose.” Has Kobe gone soft? Or is Kobe just trying to pump the collective tires of every other country he may do business with in the future? Maybe sell a few more Mambas in China if he makes it sound like he believes China can win Gold at Tokyo? Or maybe he’s just trying to Inception LeBron and Anthony Davis to get off their ass and *want* to win Gold. That would be some diabolical subterfuge that only the Black Mamba could pull off.

I spent years coming around on you Kobe so don’t you go soft on me now. I respect the assassin attitude so I refuse to accept this at face value. When we roll out the new Dream Team at the Olympics I will be the first one to give Kobe credit for planting the seed of doubt in everyone’s brain.

My Fantasy QB Cam Newton is Dressing Bad, Playing Worse

Look, sometimes I enjoy dressing like a dickhead too. Maybe throw on some white jeans when I’m in a beach town and have a couple crafties by the water. But Cam Newton cannot continue to dress like Audrey Hepburn if he is going to keep putting up these disastrous fantasy performances.

I honestly don’t know what I did to Ron Rivera to deserve such blatant disrespect for my fantasy team, but he’s about to get himself fired with bullshit play calls like this.

In reality he’s probably still hurt after offseason shoulder surgery and an ankle injury in the preseason because he missed throws that literally I could make on multiple occasions last night.

I give him credit for shouldering the blame, but I don’t know if he actually gets it. It sure as shit doesn’t seem like it with SNL worthy clips like this from his post game presser.

If we’re being honest I knew I was in trouble last week after I saw him strutting to the podium wearing a hat wrapped in barbed wire immediately following a 5 point performance.

Maybe this is all some abstract art project like the time Joaquin Phoenix pretended to lose his mind just because. I remember being legitimately concerned for the guy and it all turned out to be a hoax. Remember even David Letterman almost kicked his ass.

But hey, if I can’t win a fantasy football matchup, at least I can laugh at my own expense. Here are the best of the rest smoking Aunt May Cam Newton’s outfit last night.