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#RushHourRap – The Pharcyde – Passin Me By

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Update: Real recognize real.

It’s the week of Christmas so you’re either off from work or you’re at work pretending to do work so turn it up to 11 and chill out with this throwback from The Pharcyde. “Passin Me By” dropped in March 1993 so this is going way, way back for some old school rhymes. Even if you don’t recognize the name of the song you will 100% remember once it starts.

Not to be the old man on the lawn, but a lot of the rap thats popular these days I just don’t get. Mumble Rap, if you will, just ain’t for me so lets go back to the 90s when there was nothing more important than telling a good story with your rhymes. It’s what made Biggie, Nas, and Jay-Z the biggest artists in the world. So enjoy this little love story from The Pharcyde.

Wait, no, I did not really pursue my little princess with persistence
And I was so low-key that she was unaware of my existence
From a distance I desired, secretly admired her
Wired her a letter to get her, and it went
My dear, my dear, my dear, you do not know me but I know you very well
Now let me tell you about the feelings I have for you
When I try, or make some sort of attempt, I symp
Damn I wish I wasn’t such a wimp
‘Cause then I would let you know that I love you so
And if I was your man then I would be true
The only lying I would do is in the bed with you
Then I signed sincerely the one who loves you dearly, PS love me tender
The letter came back three days later, return to sender
Damn

She keeps on passing me by

Boston College Bowl Game Gets Cancelled Due to Lack of Hustle, Uh I Mean Lightning

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CBS Sports – The First Responder Bowl between No. 25 Boise State and Boston College was canceled Wednesday due to severe weather in the area.

The game played at The Cotton Bowl in Dallas, Texas, got underway Wednesday afternoon but was put into a weather delay with Boston College leading 7-0 with 5:08 in the first quarter. Lightning in the area caused the game to be delayed, and after a waiting period of nearly 90 minutes, officials got together and decided to cancel the game after peering at the local forecast. Thunderstorms and wind are expected to continue throughout the day and into the early morning hours, which ultimately made it impossible to attempt to get the postseason game in.

Even though Boston College led 7-0 at the time of the delay, the game was officially ruled a no contest, meaning neither team will be considered the winner or the loser, and any stats accumulated in the game do not count.

In the most minor league headline of all time, Boston College’s bowl game was postponed and then later cancelled with no plan to make up the game due to weather. I was really looking forward to the prestigious First Responder Bowl too.

It’s a shame too because I expected BC to get dusted by a Boise State team that I have not followed in years, yet still plays in the Mountain West so by default has to be better. Despite all that BC was leading 7-0 before the game was shut down so I guess we’ll never know. Welp only a few more days until real, actual college football games are back on TV. Until next season Eagles fans!

The Top 5 Sitcom Christmas Episodes

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So I sat down on Christmas Eve yesterday and got sucked into about four hours of sitcom marathons. Few things are better at this time of year than binge watching all the random sitcom Christmas specials. It’s become a staple for any sitcom worth its weight. So lets break down some of the best Christmas specials from over the years.

 

The Office

S3EP10 – “A Benihana Christmas”

After photoshopping himself onto an old photo of Carol’s family over the ex husband’s head, Carol is creeped out and dumps Michael. Meanwhile the office is split in two as the party planning committee argues so Pam and Angela end up creating two separate office Christmas parties.

 

The Simpsons

S9EP10 – “Miracle on Evergreen Terrace”

The Simpsons love doing holiday specials and this Christmas episode is one of the funniest specials of all-time. Bart drinks a dozen glasses of water so he can wake up early on Christmas before everyone else. He does just that, heads down stairs to play with some new toys except he accidentally burns the Christmas tree down and all the presents underneath it. Naturally he lies about it and the entire town of Springfield takes sympathy on the Simpsons until Bart cracks. Hilarity ensues.

 

 

Seinfeld 

S9EP10 – “The Strike”

While technically not a “Christmas” episode, this is still one of the best Christmas specials as George’s father invents a new holiday all together: Festivus. Airing of Grievances, Feats of Strength, the Festivus Pole, which is displayed unadorned because tinsel is distracting. People literally buy aluminum poles and put them in their living room as an ironic protest of Christmas and I will laugh every time I see it.

 

Malcolm in the Middle

S3EP7 – “Christmas”

One of the more underrated sitcoms that never seems to get the credit it deserves. All the more relatable to people because of the absolutely chaotic family dynamics.

 

That 70s Show

S6EP7 – “Christmas”

If Billy Bob Thornton is the No. 1 disaster of a Santa Claus then Red Forman is without a doubt 1A. The older I get the more I personally identify with Eric’s curmudgeon of an old man. When a girl asks for a pony, Red tells her ponies die. He also tells another boy who asks for a slinky that he’ll be getting flash cards for a present: “Math. That’s what you’re getting for Christmas.”

What’s your favorite Christmas special? Tweet it at me @The300sBoston and we’ll get the ball rolling on this nostalgia trip.

The Patriots Back Door Their Way Into the No. 2 Seed and a First Round Bye!

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This is why you play the game people! Are the Bills and the Jets a mere formality for the Patriots to close out the season? I hope. Of course. But the Patriots needed some outside help for the first time in a long time and old friend Nick Foles did just that as the Eagles knocked off the Texans behind his 400+ yard day. This was not a regular back door cover though as the Texans were doing everything they could to steal a W. Seriously, just look at this play from Deshaun Watson that set up the Texans TD to take the lead with less than 2 minutes to go.

Naturally I was shouting at my TV cussing out the Eagles like it was February all over again, but the enigma that is Nick Foles wasn’t ready to go home yet. Despite nearly getting his sternum broken in half by Jadeveon Clowney, he missed 1 play, came back and led the Eagles to a game winning FG.

The Patriots win coupled with the Texans loss moves New England back into the No. 2 seed and back into the driver seat as they, somehow, once again control their own destiny. LETS. GO.

Now just don’t implode against Sam Darnold and the Jets next Sunday and we’ll all be resting our ailing MCLs on Wild Card Weekend.

Lets get to a few rapid reactions from this Patriots Bills game that, despite a slow start and a less than ideal game from Tom Brady, ended up being a 24-12 blowout.

-Tom Brady did not look great. He finished the day 13/24 for 126 yards 1 TD and 2 INT, which gives him 11 on the year, his most since 2013. One of those picks came on a deflection off Gronk’s banana hands that should have been an easy catch and the other came on a miscommunication with Rex Burkhead zigging when Brady thought he was going to zag. But, he still had a lot of missed throws and generally seemed out of sync all day aside from the Edelman TD.

-Two reasons for concern moving forward though.

-I take little joy in this win in of itself because Josh Allen is AWFUL. Yes, the guy can scramble and has an absolute cannon for an arm, but the guy has worse accuracy than Tebow.

-Rob Gronkowski looked straight up old in this game. He was on the sidelines in favor of Dwayne Allen on a lot of early downs as the Pats ran the ball almost exclusively to open the game. Gronk used to be one of, if not the, best blocking tight ends in the NFL though so this is concerning. He couldn’t really get open and even when he did he was dropping bunnies.

-Josh McDaniels continues to mystify me with his shitty play calling in big spots. It obviously didn’t seriously jeopardize the Patriots’ chances of winning the game, but some of McDaniel’s play calls were real head scratchers.

A win is a win is a win though and the Patriots improve to 10-5 on the season with one game to go. Mattes will break down this game a little bit further later this week and preview next Sunday’s regular season finale against the Jets!

The 300s Podcast – Are the Patriots Cooked Without Josh Gordon?

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After an uncharacteristically bad stretch for the Patriots, Red and Big Z dive into what ails this team plus we discuss the Josh Gordon news that broke before we even finished our coffee.

-Josh Gordon had worked himself into a key cog in the New England offense so how badly does this suspension hose the Patriots?

-Is this a fatally flawed Patriots team? Whether it’s struggles playing on the road, sloppy penalties, or just poor execution this team does not look like a typical Patriots team.

-Is Tom Brady hurt? Many have speculated recently that TB12 could be dealing with an MCL injury…

-New 300s SWAG! The 300s Store is now open and you can get our designs on t shirts, hoodies, coffee mugs, stickers, flags, hell I’m buying a literal Time Lord clock that will go up behind me in the podcast studio after the holidays.

Thor 3.5 AKA the New Men in Black Movie Just Dropped a Trailer and It Looks Awesome

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I never knew I needed to see another Men in Black movie until now, let alone another one without Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones. The most recent entry into the series, MIB 3, was excellent and an absolute tearjerker with Thanos, I mean Josh Brolin, starring as a young Tommy Lee.

I thought that would have been the perfect sendoff, but hey studios gotta make money right? Thankfully Men in Black International actually looks like a fun, self aware, action comedy, which is exactly what made the first MIB so good. Chris Hemsworth takes the mantle as the young veteran MIB agent and brings on Valkyrie, I mean Tessa Thompson, as the rookie hotshot.

Not sold yet? Well good because I’m not done. Rounding out the cast is the go to action/deadpan comedy actor of our generation in Liam Neeson.

This came out of left field entirely for me as I thought Men in Black had gotten shelved entirely after the whole Sony email leak revealed plans to create a crossover event with 21 Jump Street. That movie would have been fucking awesome, but it seems like that got canned, for now at least. But Chris Hemsworth showed in Thor: Ragnarok that he has some serious comedy chops that he’s dying to put to use so I am all in on this movie.

Men in Black International releases on June 14, 2019.

Josh Gordon Reportedly Facing Another Suspension; Stepping Away from the Patriots

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Welp that only took 11 weeks. Just when the Patriots are rolling and firing on all cylinders too. Oh wait no the team has lost two in a row for the second time this season and looks increasingly like a team in free fall ready for a Wild Card weekend exit. Ideal time for Josh Gordon to get busted once again for a to be determined drug offense.

Hopefully Gordon gets the help he needs because you need to be jonesing bad to continuously throw away opportunities to play in the National Football League. Going into the can on the Browns is one thing, but to blow a golden opportunity to be the No. 1 receiver for the New England Patriots is unbelievable. This could in all likelihood be the last we see of Josh Gordon in the NFL and thats a real shame because after watching him firsthand for the past several weeks the guy’s talent is undeniable.

This really, really hoses the Patriots though. Rob Gronkowski clearly isn’t himself, Julian Edleman is definitely dealing with some kind of lingering injury, and Tom Brady may be playing on a torn MCL. Now they’ll be without Josh Gordon and will be forced to lean on guys like Cordarrelle Patterson and Phillip Dorsett! This could be the nail in the coffin that is the clusterfuck of the 2018 Patriots season.

We’ll break this whole story down further when more details become available.

Applebees Continues Its Quest to Kill You and Everyone You Know With $1 Jolly Rancher Vodka Drinks

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Pardon me for taking the lord’s name in vain, but Jesus Christ, Applebees. This could be the No. 1 reason twenty somethings across America black out on Christmas break. Are you trying to get diabetes? Because this is how you get diabetes.  Just guzzling sweet, delicious sour apple jolly ranchers infused with a liter of vodka. Come to think of it, this is just the properly branded version of one of my go to drinks in college: the Midouri Sour.

If you’ve never had a Midouri Sour, it’s essentially just drinking Puckers straight from the bottle. It tastes like a sweet, sweet mixer, but it’s riddled with vodka so it gets the job done. Pound down a few of these bad boys and you could dance the night away. Might even have to take your shoes off on the walk home.

So for anyone who wants to black out like an adult(ish) yet have nostalgia endorphins firing in their brain with the taste of Jolly Ranchers on your palate, then this is the cocktail for you. Excellent work, Applebees.

Is Michael Vick Having the 2004 Madden Cover as His IG Pic the Biggest Flex of All Time?

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Michael Vick in Madden 2004 is the most dominant character in video game history. He was more dominant than Bo Jackson in TECMO, more dominant than Mike Tyson in Punch-Out, I would even argue he was more dominant than the Water Temple. Oddjob from 007? Kick rocks.

Just look at the dude’s stats from that year’s Madden:

  • Overall – 95
  • Speed – 95
  • Agility – 95
  • Acceleration – 94
  • Awareness – 80
  • Throw Power – 97
  • Throw Accuracy – 84

Absolutely outrageous, good luck stopping that. I know my brother and I smashed many a PS2 clickers trying to contain No. 7. So for Mike Vick to have that Madden cover from FOURTEEN years ago as his Instagram profile pic to this day is the ultimate flex. Just has to remind people that he was absolutely unstoppable and the GOAT video game character. If only he could have sat down and actually studied film and not murdered dogs like a complete sociopath scumbag then he could have been the greatest of all time in real life too.