Category: NFL

I Sense Much Fear in You, Patriots Fans

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Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. I sense much fear in you.

A lot of my friends are still pretty pissed off at Bill Belichick for decisions made that may or may not have lost the Patriots a Super Bowl (i.e. benching Malcolm Butler). With all the negative publicity surrounding the Patriots recently fans are seemingly wavering in their confidence. There are a ton of dominoes that will need to fall one way or another before next season, which is what Patriots fans fear most.

Rob Gronkowski could be jumping ship to go hit people with steel chairs.

That would have sounded insane just a couple of months ago, but the longer we go the larger the possibility is that Gronk will walk away from the NFL to join the WWE and chase Hollywood. On the outside looking in that is preposterous because he’s arguably the greatest TE to ever play the game, only 28 years old, playing for an elite team with an elite QB, and coming off one of his healthiest seasons. But he’s also already made tens of millions of dollars and despite his relative health this season, another concussion notwithstanding, Gronk may be starting to think about his mortality. Is it worth it to play a few more years and possibly blow out my knee again, break my arm again, break my back again? People forget just how banged up this guy has been. With the recent run of NFL players retiring young these days it wouldn’t surprise me. It would borderline tragic as a Patriots fan to see Gronk step away, but I wouldn’t fault him.

The Patriots leading rusher Dion Lewis could be gone

Lewis sounded like a guy reserved to a fate of playing in Indianapolis or Tampa Bay next year in a recent podcast with Adam Schefter.

“I love it here…Hopefully it will work out, but at the same time, you can’t really think that way. You have to take care of yourself and your family…At the same time, I’m not putting all my eggs in one basket,” he said. “I know how the team likes to handle their business, and as a running back, you have to make the most of your opportunity…My main thing is just making sure I’m valued. That’s my biggest thing — to make sure I’m valued the way I value myself.”

Similar to many players that excel with the Patriots, Lewis bounced around the league for years before putting it all together and breaking out in New England. It would be a shame to see him leave as the Patriots are nearly undefeated with a healthy Dion Lewis on the field. Thats the key word there though; healthy. While another team may be willing to roll the dice on Lewis’ knees and pay big bucks to sign the RB, I don’t see Belichick doing the same.

Malcolm Butler is gone.

This one’s not even a question. I think Belichick could have burned Butler’s house down and we’d have a better shot at him coming back than we do after Bill benching Malcolm for the entire goddamn Super Bowl. Butler resigning with the Patriots would shock me more than him not playing in the Super Bowl.

Nate Solder is a free agent

He could return to protect Brady’s blind side, which might be the single most important job in all of New England, but he’s also dealing with some very serious real life issues as his young son continues to battle cancer. At some point the commitment it takes to play in the NFL may be more than Solder is willing to sacrifice at this point. I wouldn’t blame him if he walks away to spend more time with his family.

Danny Amendola is a free agent

After taking pay cuts each of the last 3 years, Amendola’s original 5-year contract is up. So while Amendola has clearly demonstrated he is a company man, does he want to play for less than market value yet again? He has carved out a folk hero-esque role here and seems to be BFFs with Tom Brady, so maybe he does, but if someone knocks down his door with a big money offer does that make  him think twice?

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Okay, thoroughly depressed now? Time for some SILVER LININGS!

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Tom Brady is the reigning MVP

Whether you believe Alex Guerrero is the next coming of Christ or if you think the TB12 Method is a total crock of shit, you can’t deny whatever Brady’s doing is working. He’s the goddamn MVP at 40 years old and just threw for 500 fucking yards in the Super Bowl. As always with an older player, I fear the end of the road, but Brady has been so damn good its hard to know if thats coming next year or if he’ll be collecting Social Security checks while under center. Either way, life is good.

Julian Edelman will be back

He has been posting workout videos almost daily and while I cringe watching him sprint, jump, and cut on his surgically repaired ACL, I gotta say he looks great. All that while not even rocking a shirt, impressive stuff.

Dont’a Hightower will be back

The Patriots missed him in a bad, bad way this past season. Relying on the likes of 40-year old James Harrison and signing guys like David Harris (who just retired) to fill in for the likes of All-Pros like Kyle Van Noy. So Hightower will be back next year. Until he gets hurt again. But he will be back!

Brandin Cooks will have a full offseason to work with Tom Brady

Who knows, he may even get invited out to the TB12 Neverland Ranch in Montana to work out with the rest of the receiving corp! A lot of the Boston media was pretty down on Cooks, which I just do not get. Was he 2007 Randy Moss? Of course not, but he was one of the most immediately successful wide receivers Belichick has ever picked up behind only Moss and Wes Welker. Usually these receivers come into Foxborough and are a disaster because they just don’t have it anymore, they can’t figure out the system, or they fall out of Brady’s circle of trust. Joey Galloway, Ocho Cinco, and Brandon Lloyd. In his lone season playing with Brady, Cooks had 65 catches for 1,082 yards and 7 TDs. Not too shabby, now give him 6 months to study the playbook and work with Brady and Belichick.

Fear not, young padawan. The city of Boston is not falling into a sinkhole. The Patriots are still elite and while there are some holes to fill and some air needs to be cleared, they will still be one of the favorites to win Super Bowl LIII. That’ll do, pig.

 

Roger Goodell is Gonna Tax That Ass; Demanding Millions From Jerry Jones and the Cowboys

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ESPN – The NFL is demanding reimbursement in excess of $2 million from Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones for court costs related to star running back Ezekiel Elliott’s suspension and Jones’ threatened litigation over commissioner Roger Goodell’s contract, sources told ESPN’s Dan Graziano. The owners are citing a rule that has been on the books for more than two decades, that says if an owner participates in bringing litigation against other owners, he must reimburse them for the legal fees. An earlier report by The New York Times characterized the reimbursement as a fine to be levied on Jones by Goodell. 

Remember when Goodell was jokingly referred to as the Sheriff and the Ginger Hammer? Back in the day when he was just slapping the Pacman Jones’ of the world with suspensions that were long overdue. Now? Now Goodell is like a dictator of a collapsing country grasping at his last pillars of power.

On one hand Roger Goodell continues to be the biggest dirtbag in sports and is essentially attempting to extort the Cowboys and more importantly Jerry Jones out of millions of dollars. All because Jerry stood against the NFL and, again more importantly, Goodell.  On the other hand, if I’m Goodell and one of these owners did everything he could do shaft me out of a big pay day you’re goddamn right I’m coming back for blood.

Live look at Jerry and Goodell at the NFL Owners Meeting:

And of course as a Patriots fan I am laughing manically. As an objective third party in this particular situation, I hate to say it, but….we told you so. We told you morons that Goodell was a corrupt puppet and everyone told us to take our medicine. Now Jerry Jones has a problem with the league, fights them bitterly, tries to throw a coup and remove Goodell from office, and now the pendulum is swinging back on him. Goodell is coming to tax that ass.

I fully expect Jerry Jones to show up to the next NFL Owners Meeting and have an Alonzo Harris meltdown in the Jungle.

Dexter Manley Rips Tom Brady, Says Joe Montana is the Goat. Wait, WHO?

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NESN – Dexter Manley won a pair of Super Bowls in his day, and when asked a question about the best quarterback he ever played against (mind you his playing career stretched from 1981-1991), he used it as an opportunity to really rip into the New England Patriots quarterback. “People give Tom Brady too much credit,” Manley said, via WEEI.com. “It is a team effort. No. 1, he gets the ball out of his hand quick. He has good mechanics, but he’s no Joe Montana. My daughter could out-run Tom Brady. Joe Montana is the best of all-time. He’s the best passer — him and Dan Marino. That guy don’t fit in those categories. I don’t care what they say.”

So former Washington R-Words defensive end Dexter Manley was on TV discussing who he thinks is the greatest QB of all time.

Dexter scoffed at the idea that Tom Brady is the best to ever do it. Why?  He gets the ball out quick, he has good mechanics, he has 5 Super Bowl rings, but he can’t run fast so I gotta give the nod to Joe Montana here.

Ya know what Tom Brady doesn’t have?


Oh and Dan Marino is better too? The guy with as many Super Bowl rings as me. Makes sense, Dexter.

Sure Brady has had great players around him too. Take for instance Randy Moss, who he played with for parts of 3 seasons (not including the year Brady missed to a knee injury) and never won a SB with. He also has Gronk of course, who is a first ballot HOFer no doubt, but Brady has won 4 Super Bowls without him. Brady’s had 5-star recruits and household names like the 7th round QB out of Kent State he turned into one of the best receivers in the NFL in Julian Edelman. Or the time the undrafted WR out of Texas Tech came out of nowhere and Brady molded him into the most reliable hands on the Patriots. TWICE. Danny Amendola and Wes Welker of course. I could go on and on.

Meanwhile Joe Montana had by all accounts the greatest receiver to ever play the game IN HIS PRIME. The NFL’s all-time leader in receptions, receiving yards, and receiving touchdowns played with Joe Montana for 6 seasons, winning 3 Super Bowls together.

All that and Tom Brady still has him beat by the numbers. Tom Brady has a better career Completion Percentage, TD Percentage, INT Percentage, Passer Rating, more 4th Quarter Comebacks, more Game Winning Drives, and Brady has over 26,000 more career passing yards, and over 200 more Touchdowns than Dexter Manley’s lord and savior Joe Montana.

What about the fact that Brady “gets the ball out quickly” and just dumps it off as Dexter Manley put it? Well Tom Brady and Joe Montana actually have the same exact average Yards per Attempt at 7.5.

Oh and Tom Brady also has more Pro Bowls, wins, division titles, Conference Championships, Super Bowl rings, Super Bowl MVPs, and NFL League MVP awards.

Hey Dexter?

Tim Tebow: I Still Have Offers To Play In The NFL. All 32 NFL Teams: No You Don’t

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Yahoo – …..“Well, no. It wasn’t like that,” Tebow said. “I mean, I still have offers to go play other positions in … ”

Well what can I say, what the 300’s giveth, the 300’s taketh away. Because before I saw this and nearly spit out the water I was drinking (humblebrag, I hydrate quite a lot) I was pretty pro-Tebow. I think I wrote a bit of a hit-piece on something he did or said on here but overall I was. Let him do his thing. Sure the overly polite, always nice thing is a little much and pretty contrived, but he’s been a winner in all he has done, is set for life, and if he is given a chance to pursue another childhood dream of his, why not? Go for it kid. Then this pops up today and I kind of have to reverse course on Tebow. Because if there is one thing I simply can’t stand in this world it’s when someone completely lacks self-awareness. No sense of who they are or how they are viewed by the public. That is why some people have slowly turned on Tebow over the years. That’s why people have turned on folks like Brendan Schaub and my aforementioned least favorite person Justin Bieber – they simply have lost any concept of how people view them or what value they provide in people’s lives. In the case of Timothy Tebow, he provides value to approximately nobody’s life in terms of playing the game of football.

Now, I’m not calling Tebow a liar here, I’m not. I’m sure he has offers to “come to camp” or “have a tryout” or some other “we’ll take a long shot on you” chance. What he doesn’t have is offer to play. In the. NFL. There’s a difference. I’m sure the majority of teams in need of a TE or a FB or a personal fucking punt protector see it as a no-lose scenario to have Tebow come in and try out for that gap in their roster. It’ll spark public interest in the team, it’ll show their fan base they are “listening” and also trying to improve the roster, and hell, if he makes the team, the dollars will start rolling in faster than a crew of 20 year olds to a DayGlo party. With all of that said, this is an offer to TRY OUT. Come prove that you can do a damn thing to help us win a football game. Not an offer to show up, suit up, and go out there and play, because 0 out of 32 teams have any real confidence Tim Tebow can do that on a professional level.

So the question is: is he simply bragging in an interview, reminding NFL teams he’s still open to coming back (as a quarterback LAUGHING CRYING FACE EMOJI), or does he seriously think there are teams out there that are really hoping they can get his name on a 53 man roster? I honestly think it’s the latter, he just has that much self confidence, and like I said, as evidenced by a million interviews, a complete lack of self awareness. He probably has a lot to offer football in terms of coaching, mentoring, and analysis, but his playing days should just be considered over. Done with. Fin. For everyone’s sake.

Ryan Shazier Says He Will Play in the NFL Again and I Hope He Changes His Mind

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ESPN – In his first interview since suffering a severe spinal injury in early December, Steelers linebacker Ryan Shazier said he plans to play football again. “I’ve gotta get back, bro,” Shazier said on teammate Roosevelt Nix’s podcast, which was posted to social media Tuesday night. Shazier touched on several topics in the podcast, including his desire to become a Pro Football Hall of Famer. Shazier, 25, underwent spinal stabilization surgery Dec. 6 after a tackling attempt on Monday Night Football in Cincinnati left him clutching his lower back.

I respect the hell out of the resolve and I hope that this is a ‘prove it to myself’ thing where Shazier can just get back on the field and then retire. What I don’t want to see is the guy who suffered one of the worst injuries we’ve ever seen in the NFL just jump right back in after nearly being paralyzed. I thought for sure Shazier was paralyzed watching him writhe around on the ground while his legs were motionless. Thats the kinda stuff that makes you watch football with one eye closed. Its tough to watch honestly. Now these guys all know what they’re getting into and they’re getting paid millions of dollars so I’m not gonna lose any sleep over it, but at some point you have to protect people from themselves. Thats why the NFL has concussion spotters now. Whats a few million dollars if you literally can’t walk?

Quotes from Shazier like this worry me though:

“I just have to be back out there so everybody can see it. You know what I’m saying?”

“[Shazier] posted a picture of himself standing with Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger. He’s proud of that one. “People were thinking Ben was supporting me, too — he barely was even holding me.”

Is it hypocritical of me after having cheered on Tedy Bruschi coming back to the Patriots after suffering a goddamn stroke? Absolutely, but as athletes get bigger, faster, and stronger every year these injuries are going to become more prevalent not less. Thats why we’re seeing more and more players retire before the age of 30, including half of the 49ers last year.

Would I be bummed if Rob Gronkowski decides to trade in his football cleats for some spandex in the WWE? Of course, but I wouldn’t begrudge the guy. If you can make a bunch of money somewhere else without risking the car crash type injuries the NFL puts players through every week then you do you.

I can’t imagine how important it is for Shazier to prove that he can make it back to the NFL, especially for a guy that feels like he’s the absolute best player in the world at his position. I get that. Just don’t put blinders on and ignore the risks for the pursuit of glory on the gridiron.

Ron Borges, the Woodward to My Bernstein, Just Shot His Career to Hell With Fake Tom Brady Story

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So the internet is ablaze today with a hot take from Ron Borges that was shot out of the sky before I even got to my desk this morning. Literally. I was driving in listening to Kirk Minihane just DESTROY Ron Borges and I was wondering if it was just for past indiscretions (ya know like plagiarism) or if he did something else. Fired up a quick Twitter search while I was driving, I was in bumper to bumper traffic relax Mom, and whats the first thing I see? Ron Borges’ colleagues in the media openly mocking him for a fabricated rumor about Tom Brady planning to hold out for a new contract.

And on and on it goes.

All this before 9 AM. A couple of quick phone calls from guys like Tom E. Curran and they had already shot so many holes in the story that it wouldn’t get past the editor at a student newspaper. Yet somehow the Boston Fucking Herald ran with it.

Sure it was already taken off the website, but the newspapers (the paper versions all you old bastards absolutely have to have) were already on the stacks.

Pretty damning evidence for ya boy Ron. And thats before we even get into the details of *how* he reported this story. Again, according to Kirk and Callahan, basically some random guy got Borges’ phone number and started texting him pretending to be Tom Brady’s agent Don Yee.

Eventually fake-Don Yee tipped off Borges about the disgruntled Tom Brady and how he planned to hold out for Jimmy G type money and skip OTA’s. Huge right? So rather than picking up the phone and asking someone, anyone, for any kind of supporting evidence or even hearsay…rather than do any of that, Borges runs it for a front page column.

How does that get past an editor?

“Who’d you talk to, Ron? Some guy who’s identity you haven’t actually verified just texted you out of the blue with huge news? Print. That. Shit.”

Never rely on one source and never plagiarize. Those are the cardinal rules of journalism. Trust me, I have a degree in big-J Journalism. And Ron Borges has now broken both of them.

I’m not here to call for anyone’s job, but if we’re being honest, I’m calling for Ron Borges job. It’s one thing to write thinly veiled hit pieces and describe the team you cover with so much disdain for 30 years, its another to print something defamatory as fact because fucking Johnny from Weymouth sent you a text at 1 AM like its last call at the Harp.

When you become the real life Ron Burgundy, just reporting whatever you’re told, its time to go.

Let the Brady Hate Flow Through You, Rob

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Mr. Parker, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

Honest to Christ, who could actually believe what Rob Parker said? How could Parker himself actually believe what he said? Had Tom Brady played like garbage in the Super Bowl maybe Parker could argue that his legacy took a hit. But Brady didn’t play like garbage. He actually played his best Super Bowl and had the best postseason of his career. After being named the league’s Most Valuable Player. At age 40. So give it a rest, Rob.

And by the way, Rob, no one is arguing that LeBron James has been better in the NBA Finals than Michael Jordan was. No one. But if LeBron can find a way to win three titles at the end of his career the way Jordan did, I will be the first in line to argue that 6-5 in the NBA Finals is better than 6-0. Why the hell should Jordan get bonus points for getting bounced in earlier rounds?

Same goes for Joe Montana. Brady has played in eight Super Bowls and has gone one-and-done in the playoffs twice. Montana appeared in four Super Bowls and went one-and-done in the playoffs four times. Outside of Super Bowls, Brady is 22-7 in the playoffs. Montana is 12-7. We’re gonna take off points because Brady won more games, put his team on his back more often, and lost Super Bowls that no other quarterback could get even get their team tickets to?

go away gtfo GIF

McDaniels to Remain with Patriots

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Image result for josh mcdaniels

Adam Schefter, ESPN – After two days of reflection and conversations with the Patriots, New England offensive coordinator Josh McDaniels has decided not to accept the Indianapolis Colts’ head-coaching job, the team confirmed Tuesday night…

In the past 48 hours, Patriots owner Robert Kraft began talking with McDaniels and ultimately wound up sweetening his contract, helping to entice McDaniels, who had yet to sign a contract with the Colts, to remain in New England, a source said…

McDaniels’ decision to stay could spark speculation that perhaps Patriots head coach Bill Belichick’s tenure is about to end, but those close to McDaniels say that isn’t the case, a source told ESPN’s Mike Reiss…

Almost as soon as the Super Bowl ended Sunday night, there was speculation that Josh McDaniels might not actually take the Colts’ head-coaching job and leave New England. It had to be post-loss denial, I thought. After the Colts announced a press conference to introduce McDaniels as their new head coach, I was convinced that’s all it was.

How could McDaniels turn down the Colts at this point? Bill Belichick could retire tomorrow and move to Nantucket, but he could also coach the Patriots for another decade. Why would McDaniels want to wait around to see which way Bill goes? Why wouldn’t McDaniels want to pad his coaching resume for when Bill actually is ready to hang up the hoodie? Not to mention, it could be awfully tough for him to get a job outside of New England (Foxboro or Bristol) ever again if he bails on a team this late in the process.

Which is why McDaniels’ decision to stay in New England as offensive coordinator really is shocking. But maybe it shouldn’t be. McDaniels might not actually be worried about finding another job outside of New England. If he went to Indy and things went south in a hurry,  it’s possible he wouldn’t get another head coaching opportunity anyways. McDaniels already had one tough stint in Denver. A few disappointing years in Indy could turn him into Eric Mangini.

If McDaniels wasn’t absolutely convinced that this was the right time to move on, and the right place to move on to, good for him for not going through with it and sticking to his guns. How many times do athletes get crushed for chasing the money, even when it’s not really in their best interest? See Sandoval, Pablo and Hamilton, Josh for just a few examples. If anything McDaniels deserves praise for not just chasing money, and for making a decision that he thinks is in the best interest of him, his family and his career.

It would be fascinating to know if McDaniels would have reached the same decision had the Patriots won on Sunday. Of course we’ll never know for sure. Perhaps McDaniels didn’t want to leave on that note, or maybe he now feels that there is unfinished business that must be tended to with Tom Brady in New England. Maybe that will also give him time to wait and see what happens with Belichick.

As much as has been made about Brady’s age, Belichick will be 66 when next season starts. He’s only about seven months younger than Pete Carroll, the oldest head coach in the league. McDaniels might not want to wait another five years for Belichick to retire, but why not wait another two years?

If the Patriots do well over the next two years or so, McDaniels will still be in a great spot. He’ll either be ready to take the reins in Foxoboro, whenever that moment arrives, or he’ll be able to find a better opportunity than the Colts job elsewhere. As hard as it is to imagine right now, if McDaniels wins another title with a 40+ year old quarterback some other team will be willing to roll the dice on him.

As tough as Sunday’s Patriots loss was, with Belichick, Brady and now McDaniels still in place, the future is still bright for this franchise. The sun has not yet set on this dynasty.

I Have Legitimately Grown Emotionally Attached to Tom Brady and Bill Belichick

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I have grown so emotionally attached to Tom Brady and Bill Belichick I don’t know what I’m going to do when (if) they ever retire. It was similar with David Ortiz; I grew up with these guys. Sure I remember watching the Pats get their teeth kicked in by Brett Favre and the Packers in Super Bowl XXXI when I was a youngling, but I wasn’t really a fully functioning human being until a few years later. We’ve experienced the highest of highs together like 2001 when they pulled off the greatest upset in SB history, going back to back in 2003-04 with the addition of veterans like Rodney Harrison and Corey Dillon to an already stacked team. Of course the Malcolm Butler interception and the 28-3 comeback against the Falcons. And I’ll never forget the lowest of lows. As they say, losing hurts more than winning feels good. The 2007 Super Bowl and David goddamn Tyree who probably sells car insurance now. Mario Manningham and that ridiculous catch in the 2011 Super Bowl. Sigh.

And then of course all the teams in between: the 2006 AFC Championship game collapse against Peyton Manning and the Colts, the 2010 home loss to Ray Rice and the Ravens, the AFC Championship game loss to Peyton Manning and the Broncos in the 2015 season.

I think thats why I literally have found myself becoming emotional these past couple of weeks. Last year it was Tom Brady nearly breaking down at Media Day before the Super Bowl when a little kid asked him who his hero was.

This year its Belichick wearing his dad’s hat to Minneapolis.

The other night I witnessed Tom fighting back tears in his Tom vs Time series when Mr. Kraft gave Tom’s mother a Super Bowl ring as she’s been kicking cancer’s ass. So much dust in my living room.

Its crazy because I’ve never met these guys, but I feel like they’re a part of my family and THAT is why all of this will never get old. People say oh you’ve won enough let someone else have a shot. Not a chance. As the infamous Don Draper once said. I’m not happy with 50% I want all of it.

These Are the Stakes the Patriots are Playing for in Super Bowl LII

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Its almost here. Its the last day of cube life before Super Bowl LII. We’ve had boots on the ground to bring you into the Super Bowl Experience, we’ve provided you with Patriots porn, we’ve got you ready to run through a wall for this team, now its time to really analyze this. What are the stakes? What are the Patriots really playing for here?

I for one will be leaving the office at 5:00 pm on the dot like one of the iron mill workers in the Simpsons.

Its officially Super Bowl weekend. Here are the stakes.

Tom Brady, Bill Belichick, and Robert Kraft are going for their 6th ring together.

Tom Brady is already the all-time winningest QB, he’s already stuffed Joe Montana in a locker. Now he’s looking to take the all-time GOAT title from Michael Jordan. And despite what that walking hot take Doug Gotleib says,

https://www.facebook.com/plugins/video.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2FTheHerd%2Fvideos%2F2148729945348193%2F&show_text=0&width=560

A win on Sunday makes Tom Brady hands down the greatest athlete of all-time. Big Z already laid out the perfect rebuttal.

Bill Belichick is playing for a fresh paint job on his boat.

Historic radio calls. If the Patriots win Sunday, they HAVE to play the Gil Santos audio right? Like Bob Socci and Zolak have to just turn off their mics and play Gil’s call don’t they? “BACK TO BACK, THREE OUT OF FOUR!”

Tom vs Time will win a goddamn Emmy if it ends with 40 year old Tom Brady winning the league MVP and his 6th Super Bowl ring.

Similar to 2004, the Pats are expected to lose both their offensive and defensive coordinators this offseason, so winning back to back Super Bowls would be a hell of a way to go out for Patricia and McDaniels a la Romeo Crennel and Charlie Weis before them.

Do people realize that if the Patriots win it sets up an opportunity to conquer yet another NFL legendary record? No team in the history of the league has ever won 3 Super Bowls in a row? 19-0 will likely never happen and that absolutely breaks my heart, but winning back-to-back-to-back Super Bowls would likely never be matched.

The mental well being of the annual asshole who got the Super Bowl champions tattoo before the team actually plays the game:

Brady, Belichick and RKK getting up on that podium, accepting the Vince Lombardi Trophy and telling Seth Wickersham, Max Kellerman, Bart Scott, Dan Shaugnessy, and every other click-baiting miserable hater 4 beautiful words: