Category: NFL

The Washington R-Words Live to See Another Day After Latest Report

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ESPN – A new Washington Post poll found that 90 percent of Native Americans aren’t offended by the Washington Redskins’ nickname and an overwhelming majority consider it an unimportant issue.

Daniel Snyder is definitely just sitting in his office laughing like a maniac rubbing his hands together. “See NFL? Native Americans don’t give a shit what we call our crappy football team?” Reports don’t lie (unless it’s of the Wells variety). Super racist name? Of course. But if they change the name, that will deprive me of referring to them as the Washington R-Words and I’m not ready to give that up just yet. In all seriousness this name should absolutely be changed eventually because it is blatantly racist, but if 90% of Native Americans don’t care, I don’t think people need to push their Irish Guilt onto those that this truly might matter to. Snyder and his politically incorrect collection of trademarks live to see another day.

Amendola Takes a Hair Cut to Keep Winning with the Patriots

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CSNNE – Asked how he came to make the decision, Amendola repeatedly explained that there was nowhere else he wanted to be. In order to remain with the Patriots, he was willing to cut his base salary down from $5 million to $1.25 million.

Carports for everybody! Danny Amendola you beautiful sonofabitch. Amendola took a pretty substantial pay cut to stay with the Pats because he loves the team, the coach, the city, but above all else the dude wants to win. Amendola spent a longg time in St. Louis when the Rams were a glorified college team just pissing away the prime years of a lot of guys. No way he’s going back to a hell hole like that to make a few more bucks.

Rumblings started surfacing again this offseason after Amendola restructured his deal last offseason too. What originally was put into place as a replace Wes Welker deal, was starting to seem a little rich for Belichick and co. Danny’s a smart dude, he banked a lot of money the first season plus where he was largely hurt or ineffective. So maybe in his head it all evens out. But after putting in the work with TB12 and finally getting right physically he’s been money and is now one of Brady’s most trusted targets and rarely even drops a ball, unlike some other guys.

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Never forget the Edelman to Amendola touchdown against the Ravens either; that one goes into the Patriots Porn Hall of Fame.

Plus Kay Adams ain’t too bad of an incentive.

Breaking Down ESPN’s Top 25 Athletes With Unfulfilled Potential

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So the World Wide Leader put out an article breaking down their Top 25 athletes that never fulfilled their potential. Instead of rehashing the whole thing, took my liberties and pulled the excerpts from this list for anyone born after 1985.

 

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No. 25 Matt Leinart: This guy was the king at USC, living the absolute life. Winning every game imaginable, taking home National Championships w/ Reggie Bush and co., all while just basically taking elective classes like Ballroom Dancing his senior year. Like I said, living the life. Gets drafted Top 10 into what seemed like a great situation in Arizona except Kurt Warner ends up going on a late career tear so any chance Leinart had of starting in AZ was gone after that. Bounced around a lot after that, but never was able to put it together, got a last grasp as the 3rd string guy for the Houstons and by some freak miracle both guys ahead of him go down and Leinart has a chance to revive is career..immediately gets sacked and destroys his shoulder, career over. It’s a shame because he was great in college, but has parlayed that into a pretty solid career on FS1.

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No. 24 Bo Jackson: On this list for obvious reason. Bo Jackson could have been the greatest football player of all time, and also ya know dabbled in professional baseball making the 1989 All-Star team. A lot of guys talk a big game, and many pros got drafted in multiple sports, but Bo was dominant in two professional sports at once – before the damn hip injury derailed his career. Now he spends his time being a freak athlete in other ways, like being scary good with a bow and arrow. Bo Knows, indeed.

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No. 17 Aaron Hernandez: Goddamn angel dust. Hernandez was so, so good. Just an absolute beast of an athlete, too big for cornerbacks to cover and too fast for linebackers. Belichick was using his as a freaking running back and he was breaking off 30 yard runs. Then someone had to smudge his Puma’s in the club and set him off into a murderous rage, which as it turns out wasn’t exactly a new thing for Aaron..allegedly.

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No. 16 Vince Young: Vinsanity, VY, Madden Cover Boy, Offensive Rookie of the Year. This dude was a stud in college, crushing the absolute soul of the aforementioned Matt Leinart, and then had a great rookie year obviously. Then the league adapted, his accuracy issues caught up to him, or the pressure became too much, or maybe working for Jeff Fisher just drove him nuts. I mean I’d throw all my shit in the stands too if Jeff Fisher was on my ass all day. At least he won’t be known for any outlandish quotes like being on some sort of Dream Team.

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No. 10 JaMarcus Russell: Another mammoth human being who dominated in college, No. 1 overall pick (got PAID before the new CBA smartened up and stopped giving rookies $70 million deals) and then was basically a disaster from the start. Criticized for being out of shape and lazy so it’s hard to feel too bad for his flame out, but he has offered to play for the price of ‘on the house’ to launch a comeback. With such a terribly small crop of decent backup QB’s in the NFL, why not?

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No. 7 Maurice Clarett: This guy just goes to show you can’t fight city hall. Petitioned to bypass the NFL Draft requirements and skip a year of college eligibility after accounting for 1,300+ yards and 18 TD’s as a freshman. A few gun charges later and Clarett’s getting cut by the Bronco’s before the end of camp. Woof.

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No. 1 Greg Oden: Definition of dodging a bullet for any team not named the Portland Trailblazers. Again, absolutely dominant in college (noticing a trend here), and was the consensus No. 1 overall pick. Another guy who’s career was derailed by injuries pretty much immediately with Oden missing his entire rookie year after getting Microfracture surgery. He only played in 82 games TOTAL with Portland, which is legit depressing to think about if you’re a Blazers fan. The ping pong balls giveth and the ping pong balls taketh.

Bill Parcells Says New Patriots QB Jacoby Brissett is A-OK in His Book

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Courtesy of NY Daily News

Courtesy of NY Daily News

Boston Herald – “You never really know for sure until you see a player under the gun, so to speak, at the top level,” Parcells said. “But, that being said. I have a very high regard for this young man. He’s an awesome kid…..”He’s very bright. He has zero personal issues. He’s a very dedicated, committed guy, and I think he’s going to the absolute perfect place for him.”

I still have no idea what to make of Jacoby Brissett and we probably won’t really know for a couple of years, but as far as references go you could do a lot worse than Bill Parcells. Obviously I don’t know much about his relationship with Brissett, but this basically boils down to the Big Tuna wanting to let everyone know the Pats newest QB has his head screwed on straight. AKA Not an Asshole.

And that’s definitely good to hear from a hard ass like Parcells. A former coach who famously ripped players and wasn’t exactly known for lavishing praise on his guys. I hope this isn’t just Bill softening with age because as far as the comparisons to Troy Brown and Tedy Bruschi go that’s great, but QB is a different animal.

Backup QB is always the most popular guy in town too and this goes double for the third stringers. How else do you explain legit nicknames like The Yates of Hell? Or the stories of Rohan Davey throwing balls from his knees at midfield and hitting the uprights? Absolutely useless info, but the kind of cool stories that you hear about players that never see the field. So my point is, barring “24” style catastrophe, we won’t know much about Jacoby for a while, unless you lie through your teeth like Mel Kiper Jr, so it’s good to hear some high praise out of a Hall of Fame coach right out of the gates.

NFL No Longer Accepting Draft Prospects If They Can’t Cook

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Yahoo Sports – “A college prospect had to defend his cooking skills, which were criticized by an anonymous scout, the day before the NFL draft…”I worry about him because of off-the-field issues. The kid has no life skills. At all. Can’t cook. Just a baby. He’s not first round for me. He scares me to death.”

A college student who can’t cook. That’s what NFL scouts are concerned with these days? When I was a freshman in college I used to buy these little packages of tuna because I had no idea how to use a can opener.

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Ride the shuttle to Wal-Mart and stock up on Red Barrons (bootleg Mama Celeste), popcorn chicken and any other food I could microwave. Sure Apple may need to upgrade his diet from Goldfish and Beers for dinner, but I think he’ll be fine playing some football without a degree from Cordon Bleu.

 

Las Vegas Raiders Dream is Still Alive!

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ESPN – Oakland Raiders owner Mark Davis will attend a meeting with Nevada tourism officials Thursday in Las Vegas to discuss relocating to a proposed domed stadium there…The location for the proposed Las Vegas stadium is a 42-acre lot on Tropicana Avenue, a few blocks off the Strip.
This has to happen. Listen the Raiders want to move because Oakland is a dump and why move to LA just to be Stan Kroenke and the Rams little brother? You really wanna be the Clippers for the next 30 years?

Now would an NFL team in Vegas be a disaster? Probably. Best case scenario the Raiders spawn some kind of weird tourist fan base like Siegfried and Roy or when the Backstreet Boys set up shop in town for a few months. Worst case scenario is half the players can’t control themselves in Sin City with all the debauchery, drinking, drugs and gambling. In other words, exactly how Al Davis would have wanted it.

This immediately would become the top destination for any guys looking to catch a game out of town. Fly in on a Friday, destroy your body all weekend and then have a few Bloody Mary’s at the stadium Sunday afternoon watching the game that you 100% have bet your rent on. Sign me up.

Former Madden Legend JaMarcus Russell Says He’ll Play QB in the NFL for Free

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ESPN – JaMarcus Russell, the No. 1 overall pick in the 2007 NFL draft who hasn’t played since 2009, said he will “play for free” if a team gives him another chance…”I am willing to lead the scout team for free for one year just to get experience in your system,” Russell wrote in a letter to Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, according to Sports Illustrated.

On one hand this is legitimately sad for the former No. 1 overall pick in the NFL to be offering to play on a practice squad for free just to get back in the league. On the other hand JaMarcus signed a $68 million deal (poor bastard only actually got $38 mil of it) with the Raiders back in 2007  so he’s not exactly working at the gas station. Fortunately for him a certain team up in New England could potentially use a low-cost (free) QB for a few weeks to start the season. And with Johnny Football in and out of court and all coked up at Coachella, opportunities are abundant for washed up QB’s. It’s called destiny, JaMarcus.

Sam Bradford Demands Trade, Underachievers Everywhere Sigh in Disgust

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ESPN – The Philadelphia Eagles have been informed that quarterback Sam Bradford wants to be traded and will not be showing up for their offseason program any longer, a source told ESPN’s Adam Schefter. Bradford is upset at the Eagles’ trade last week for the No. 2 overall pick to draft a quarterback.

What an absolute slap in the face to underachievers everywhere. First Sam Bradford snakes $78 million out of the (former) St. Louis Rams for a grand total of 59 TD passes. Now obviously he was hurt most of the time he was in STL, but those are the stats he got PAID for. Then after a highly mediocre year in Philadelphia he somehow parlays that into ANOTHER big pay day with a 2 year $35 million deal. And the Eagles had the gall to trade up in the draft to likely take a QB after Bradford gave them 3,700 yards, 19 TDs and 14 INTs. Unbelievable. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t blame him for wanting to go somewhere where he’ll be the unquestioned starter, but Bradford has played terribly (and sunk my fantasy team in the process) so if it were me I’d tell Sam to have a coke and a smile and shut up.

Tom Brady 4 Game Suspension Reinstated: Batman vs Superman vs Brady vs Goodell

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“That’s how it starts, sir. The fever, the rage, the feeling of powerlessness that turns good men… cruel.”


More or less a live reaction from my brain. I think Alfred speaks for us all. Pissed off, powerless with nothing you can do about it. People were afraid to play Bill Belichick and Tom Brady before? Wait until TB12 comes back from the ultimate bag job of the century. I mean Ben Affleck was out there branding guys with the Bat symbol, what do you think the greatest QB of all time is gonna do? If this Deflategate suspension holds I can just picture Brady standing in front of his locker staring at his uniform for the next 5 months. Batman vs Superman vs Brady vs Goodell indeed.

Alfred: You’re going to go to war?

Batfleck: He brought the war to us.

Nerd correlations over.

Troy Smith’s DUI Arrest Makes Me Sad for His Madden Glory Days

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I’ve always had a fondness for mobile QB’s who enter the league and wind up as journeymen backups and I think that probably goes back to my Madden Glory Days. Pick a team with a fast backup QB and then wreck havoc on everyone. Now keep in mind this was before the Russell Wilson/Cam Newton/Colin Kaepernick wave of QB’s entered the league. This was back when the only starting QB that could really move was Vick, which obviously got worse over time. But take the Ravens, bench Flacco’s bum ass and insert Troy Smith. Go five wide and wait until you find the edge or just destroy people with screens and slants, basically just run the Ray “Voodoo” Tatum spread offense. I had roommates firing clickers off the wall because these terrible real life QB’s just dominated in Madden. Smith, Vince Young, Tebow, even going back to Doug Flutie’s Chargers days. Overall rating of 68? As long as your Speed and Acceleration are over 75, don’t give a shit, I will take you to victory. Poor Troy Smith, we’ll always have Madden even if that NFL career didn’t pan out like I had hoped.