Category: Patriots

Dion Lewis Almost Ready to Complete Patriots Voltron

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NFL.com – NFL Network Insider Ian Rapoport reported Wednesday that running back Dion Lewis is expected to return to practice this week, per a source. The elusive back started the season on the physically unable to perform list after tearing his ACL last season in early November. His return to practice opens a 21-day window in which he must be activated to the 53-man roster or placed on season-ending injured reserve.

Dion Lewis is almost back. In a word:

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But seriously, is there nothing the rest of the NFL can do to stop the Pats pain train? Got off to a solid start at 3-1, Tom Brady came back in Week 5 and has played OK (i.e. “Leads the NFL in Every Meaningful Category“), Martellus Bennett is flashing his potential with 3 TD games, Gronk is healthy and now we got Dion about to come back? If he can play anywhere close to how he played last year, which is a big if, the Patriots will literally be unstoppable. Dion essentially completes the Patriots version of Voltron (or the Megazord if you’re more of a live action anime kind of guy) and that scares every other team in the NFL.

They’ll have arguably the best player at almost every offensive position on the field. The best QB, the best TE, the best inside receiver, the best No. 2 TE and one of if not the best receiving backs in the league.

Who do you cover? Double Gronk and hope for the best? Good luck. The Bills tried that last year and Lewis went off for 6 catches for 98 yards, 40 yards rushing and a TD. Opposing head coaches and D coordinators are going to start doing a Hue Jackson and just take off their headsets conceding defeat. God it’s good to be a Patriots fan. Now everyone keep your hands inside the vehicle at all times and eat your goddamn vitamins.

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ESPN Now Groveling at the Feet of Bill Belichick

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Now hold the goddamn phone ESPN. Just because Tom Brady is finally back and Belichick held down the fort at 3-1 with 2nd and 3rd string QB’s you think you can just float this puff piece past my desk and I’ll forget about the last 18 months? I don’t think so. I will read every word of this article and I will love it. But I will not forget what you did to my friends in Foxborough. You started a witch hunt, you refused to acknowledge false reports by Chris Mortensen, which turned this little equipment violation into the shit storm we refer to today as Deflategate.

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So no ESPN, I do not accept your apology. Hell, Brady might be the first player to win MVP only playing 12 games. The most competitive guy in the NFL, you think deep down, he may be a little ticked that people are saying “Look the Pats don’t even need Brady, they’re 3-1!” Like Brady is some scrub and the Pats could go to 6 Super Bowls with Rex Grossman under center? Oh, this is gonna be fun.

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Tom Brady is Back and It’s Like He Never Left

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TB12 is back and I have to admit, I am extremely disappointed in the local media. Aside from two tweets of random guys with a couple pics of Brady playing catch around town, there’s been ZERO news or info on him. And the sunbathing pics don’t count because that was over in Italy, I’m talking strictly local media guys. Brady is legit Boston royalty, well really more like a Mob Boss. Because no one reported anything on what he was up to like they feared getting kneecapped as retribution. All my Brady news came from Wes Welker and TMZ. No one even asked him about the pics and I don’t think anyone even thought about bothering Tom on his 4 week vacation. You don’t disturb the boss when he’s busy. More important than any one man’s life… is order. Some straight Keyser Soze shit.

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Tom Brady Loses His Shit After Dropping a Game of Ping Pong; Cements Reputation as Legendary Competitor

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Yahoo Sports – “He’s the best teammate,” Amendola said of Brady. “He’s so competitive and what-not. I remember one story. It was my first week in the building. He wanted to play some ping-pong. I didn’t really know how to go about it. I know I was better than him. I didn’t want to beat him too bad because I wanted him to throw me the ball. “I knew I was better. Needless to say, his competitive nature unleashed a broken paddle by the end of it. It the reason why we love him, and the reason why he’s the best quarterback.”

What a phenomenal story; Tom Brady losing in a game of ping pong and just losing his shit and smashing the paddle into 1,000 pieces. It only adds to the legend that is Tom Brady. Listen, anyone can win 4 Super Bowl titles, multiple MVPs and Super Bowl MVPs, but it comes down to the uber, ultra competitive guys that go down as legends. Like Michael Jordan doing anything necessary to win, playing mental warfare with guys like the time he wrecked Muggsy Bogues’ career by pulling up in a playoff game and telling him “Shoot it you fucking midget.”

Or how about Kobe Bryant now that he’s retired legit naming his new company “13.” Chris Sacca shared a story of how Kobe landed on that name on Bill Simmons’ podcast relaying,  “Can you believe they drafted 12 other motherfuckers before me? He still wears that, man.”

And then of course, the classic story of a young Dustin Pedroia training at the famed Athletes Performance Institute in Arizona playing ping pong and shit talking 6’4″ Brady Quinn: “I’m going to rip this ball right off your throat,” Pedroia told him.

I want guys on my teams that lose their minds about losing in anything. Not the JD Drew’s and Adrian Gonzalez’s of the world who could give a shit.

P.S. – I’d be remiss to not mention Rajon Rondo just hammering little kids in Connect Four. Savage.

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Opportunity for Jimmy Garoppolo Could Have Huge Payoff for the Patriots

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Yahoo Sports – Jimmy Garoppolo finds himself in a good situation. He can prepare all offseason as if he’ll be the New England Patriots’ starting quarterback for the first four games of the season, thanks to Tom Brady’s deflate-gate suspension…Think about Brock Osweiler, who was looking at the possibility of going into free agency with almost no regular-season snaps on tape. But Peyton Manning got hurt, Osweiler showed enough in seven starts with the Denver Broncos last season to get a $72 million deal from the Houston Texans, and now he’s their starter.

It’s tough to admit, but the whole Deflategate witch hunt may end up being a good thing for the Patriots. Regardless of all the other shit, it’s looking more and more likely Tom Brady is going to miss 4 games. It’s unlikely that Jimmy Garoppolo is going to play well enough for Belichick and the Patriots to give Brady the Drew Bledsoe treatment, but that’s why this may pay off even better for the Pats. Most people kind of scratched their head when the Pats took Garoppolo in the 2nd round back in 2014. For one, it was the highest Belichick had ever drafted a QB with the Patriots and two, it seemed a year too early.

We all know the Brady decline is going to come eventually, but it doesn’t seem like we’re quite there yet. So the Pats wasted a draft pick right? That may have been true if NFL head coaches didn’t get borderline aroused about young QB’s with potential. I mean look at all the absolute scrubs that have swindled huge contracts from teams based on nothing but potential and limited snaps. If you don’t have a great QB in this league it’s damn hard to be successful so coaches and GMs are willing to roll the dice continuously hoping to strike gold. That’s how guys like Matt Cassel, Matt Schaub, Matt Flynn and most recently Brock Osweiler have landed mega deals with virtually no real playing experience.

Which brings me back to Belichick, this guy is always five steps ahead of the rest of the league. Sure he couldn’t have known Brady would get suspended and give Jimmy G a 4 game audition as trade bait, but we all know TB12 ain’t retiring any time soon. So the Garoppolo pick was definitely made with the ulterior motive of flipping him for even more draft capital. If Garoppolo comes in and plays well, you could very easily get a 1st round pick for a young, promising QB who’s spent the past few years being groomed by the best coach and QB in the game. Jimmy gets paid, Belichick gets TWO 1st round picks in 2017 (giving Gooddell the finger in the process), Brady continues doing Brady things and we start this process over again with Jacoby Brissett, who is more likely on the track to eventual Patriots starter down the line.

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Amendola Takes a Hair Cut to Keep Winning with the Patriots

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CSNNE – Asked how he came to make the decision, Amendola repeatedly explained that there was nowhere else he wanted to be. In order to remain with the Patriots, he was willing to cut his base salary down from $5 million to $1.25 million.

Carports for everybody! Danny Amendola you beautiful sonofabitch. Amendola took a pretty substantial pay cut to stay with the Pats because he loves the team, the coach, the city, but above all else the dude wants to win. Amendola spent a longg time in St. Louis when the Rams were a glorified college team just pissing away the prime years of a lot of guys. No way he’s going back to a hell hole like that to make a few more bucks.

Rumblings started surfacing again this offseason after Amendola restructured his deal last offseason too. What originally was put into place as a replace Wes Welker deal, was starting to seem a little rich for Belichick and co. Danny’s a smart dude, he banked a lot of money the first season plus where he was largely hurt or ineffective. So maybe in his head it all evens out. But after putting in the work with TB12 and finally getting right physically he’s been money and is now one of Brady’s most trusted targets and rarely even drops a ball, unlike some other guys.

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Never forget the Edelman to Amendola touchdown against the Ravens either; that one goes into the Patriots Porn Hall of Fame.

Plus Kay Adams ain’t too bad of an incentive.

Bill Parcells Says New Patriots QB Jacoby Brissett is A-OK in His Book

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Courtesy of NY Daily News

Courtesy of NY Daily News

Boston Herald – “You never really know for sure until you see a player under the gun, so to speak, at the top level,” Parcells said. “But, that being said. I have a very high regard for this young man. He’s an awesome kid…..”He’s very bright. He has zero personal issues. He’s a very dedicated, committed guy, and I think he’s going to the absolute perfect place for him.”

I still have no idea what to make of Jacoby Brissett and we probably won’t really know for a couple of years, but as far as references go you could do a lot worse than Bill Parcells. Obviously I don’t know much about his relationship with Brissett, but this basically boils down to the Big Tuna wanting to let everyone know the Pats newest QB has his head screwed on straight. AKA Not an Asshole.

And that’s definitely good to hear from a hard ass like Parcells. A former coach who famously ripped players and wasn’t exactly known for lavishing praise on his guys. I hope this isn’t just Bill softening with age because as far as the comparisons to Troy Brown and Tedy Bruschi go that’s great, but QB is a different animal.

Backup QB is always the most popular guy in town too and this goes double for the third stringers. How else do you explain legit nicknames like The Yates of Hell? Or the stories of Rohan Davey throwing balls from his knees at midfield and hitting the uprights? Absolutely useless info, but the kind of cool stories that you hear about players that never see the field. So my point is, barring “24” style catastrophe, we won’t know much about Jacoby for a while, unless you lie through your teeth like Mel Kiper Jr, so it’s good to hear some high praise out of a Hall of Fame coach right out of the gates.

Tom Brady 4 Game Suspension Reinstated: Batman vs Superman vs Brady vs Goodell

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“That’s how it starts, sir. The fever, the rage, the feeling of powerlessness that turns good men… cruel.”


More or less a live reaction from my brain. I think Alfred speaks for us all. Pissed off, powerless with nothing you can do about it. People were afraid to play Bill Belichick and Tom Brady before? Wait until TB12 comes back from the ultimate bag job of the century. I mean Ben Affleck was out there branding guys with the Bat symbol, what do you think the greatest QB of all time is gonna do? If this Deflategate suspension holds I can just picture Brady standing in front of his locker staring at his uniform for the next 5 months. Batman vs Superman vs Brady vs Goodell indeed.

Alfred: You’re going to go to war?

Batfleck: He brought the war to us.

Nerd correlations over.

NFL Teams Meeting With Free Agents Solely Because Patriots Were Interested

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via Patriots.com

via Patriots.com

ESPN – “One agent whose free-agent client recently had a workout with the Patriots shared the following: When word of the player’s visit to New England had become public, four teams called that day to express some level of interest. Up to that point, interest in the player around the league had been dormant … this was one example of how their actions can sometimes spark movement from other clubs who are more likely to be reactive than proactive.”

For a second I thought this was a Jerry Thornton article, and Mike Reiss is a pretty straight shooter so this is not a pro-Patriots puff piece. These stories continue to come out about how the Patriots are just smarter than everyone else. Whether that’s actually even true or not doesn’t really matter because perception is reality my friends.

When fans say it, it comes off as “arrogant” and “cocky,” but when legit reporters are writing about how other teams are dialing up prospects they’ve never even heard of simply because Belichick and co. took a look at them, that is gold. Knowing Belichick this could very easily just be smoke and mirrors. He could probably make teams think the next stud NFL QB is going to come from a triple-option offense out of Navy.

Don’t fool yourselves, for as much as execs around the league bitch and moan every time the Pats do something new (looking at you John Harbaugh), they all take notes and do everything they can to replicate the Pats (again; looking at you John Harbaugh). That’s why the Belichick Coaching Tree, no matter how many former BB assistants fail to survive on their own, will never dry up as long as Bill is still coaching. Just keep throwing darts and hope that you stumble onto the next Belichick. Hell I wouldn’t be surprised if Steve Belichick gets an offer sheet for a head coaching gig next offseason.