Thursday Night Football To Go All-Madden Next Week

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NFL.com – Thursday Night Football will have a video-game feel in Week 11.

NBC announced it plans to utilize its dual SkyCam for the primary viewing of the Tennessee Titans versus Pittsburgh Steelers matchup on Nov. 16…

NBC utilized the SkyCam during a Week 7 tilt between the New England Patriots and Atlanta Falcons, when a heavy fog rolled into Foxboro, obscuring the normal camera angle. The viewing experience drew rave reviews, leading to NBC tinkering with its normal broadcast approach…

By pivoting to the SkyCam, NBC hopes to attract younger viewers who grew up playing “Madden” video games, which employs a view from behind the quarterback.

The fans have spoken and the NFL has listened. Next week’s Thursday Night Football game will be presented as a real-life video game. The NFL can be criticized for many things but you gotta give them credit for their willingness to mix things up, even in the middle of the season.

Thursday Night Football is the perfect game to go full SkyCam on. No one looks forward to watching Thursday night games, even when it features two first-place teams. More often then not the games suck and/or someone gets hurt. Going to SkyCam allows the NFL to change the subject on Thursday Night Football for at least a week and to rebrand it to better appeal to “millennials.” Even if it’s a gimmick, there’s no downside to letting this experiment play out for at least one full game. Hopefully they remember to switch camera angles on interceptions and turnovers this time.

It’s just another way real football has become more like video game football. Who says you can’t throw the ball 50 times a game, onside kick to start the second half of the Super Bowl, kill the clock by running parallel to the goal line on a touchdown reception, or go for it on 4th and 2 at your own 28?

The only thing that would make next week’s experiment even better is if Condescending Cris busts Mike Tomlin’s balls every time he goes for 2 or goes for it on 4th down and doesn’t get it. Hands down the most aggravating part of every Madden loss.

It May Be Time to Give Up On My Dream of Seeing Johnny Manziel Back in the NFL

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I am a huge Johnny Manziel guy, but even I’m starting to think this may be the end of the line after seeing these TMZ pics of him hanging in Hawaii with his GF. Not getting signed to a CFL team? Sure that one stung, but this is worse. Looking more like a 24-year-old Dad Bod than a former Heisman winner on the NFL comeback trail 24-year-old.

But if you can still pull tail like this

then his game clearly isn’t hurting. So I don’tttt think playing football matters all that much. If you’re already pulling 10’s, then maybe the constant media scrutiny and guaranteed CTE isn’t even worth it.

But, as another season passes we’re reminded that Father Time is undefeated. As is guzzling Bud heavies and sitting on the beach with your girlfriend. But hey, Eli Manning has the best Dad Bod in the NFL and that guy has two Super Bowl rings so anything is possible right?

If he can get it together though, I do know of a certain football team in need of a new young, developmental backup quarterback…

Pedialyte Just Changed the Game with Hangover Freeze Pops

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Pedialyte just changed. the. game. I had friends in college who would swear by Pedialyte as the drink of choice for a hangover, but I never dabbled myself. Just never felt the urge to walk down the aisles in the grocery store and feel those eyes on me. That shame. When you’re buying Pedialyte people know either you have a kid who needs his electrolytes or you got black out drunk last night and need a fix. Well Pedialyte just went and flipped the game on its head with these Hangover Freeze Pops.

Huge freeze pop guy. In fact I once ate a whole box of them with a friend when we were like 12. Juvenile diabetes like you read about. But you can bet your ass I’ll be buying a box of these (hopefully) hangover curing freeze pops. It would seem like Pedialyte is in the midst of a re-brand too, targeting 20 something degenerates like myself. Seriously, check out some of their other recent tweets.

GET IT PEDIALYTE! YOU PARTY ANIMAL!

Do you enjoy getting shithoused watching your favorite football team? Pedialyte’s there for your irresponsible ass.

Tryna get day drunk? Lets get after it.

Long night of vodka and drinking out of dick shaped straws? Pedialyte it is.

I am all about this new look Pedialyte. I no longer will be shamed using a kid’s medicine for debaucherous purposes. Crack open a couple freeze pops and fire up the Netflix.

Mike Felger Is Not A Great Eulogist

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So how about Felger yesterday? He basically turned into Chazz Reinhold from Wedding Crashers for 12 minutes while talking about Roy Halladay.

Felger almost sounded like Michael in the Godfather talking about Captain McCluskey, “a crooked cop who got mixed  up in the rackets and got what was coming to him.”

I’m not always on the same page as the Deadspin editorial board – I don’t think Colin Kaepernick is the answer for the Dolphins, Colts, Packers or Texans – but I absolutely agree that this cringeworthy Felger rant is reprehensible. When I heard it on the Felger and Mazz podcast last night, I was shocked that the Sports Hub hadn’t taken it down. It was so bad, I was shocked he was allowed to finish the show. The rant came right after 3 o’clock. How do you stick around for another two and a half hours after that? He even went on tv after the radio show and no mention was made of this incident.

It’s hard to imagine a major-market radio host apparently taking pleasure from the tragic death of an athlete because he thinks he saw it coming. That’s a bush league take I’d expect to hear from some AM host in Binghamton. I don’t know if he should lose his job over it, but I don’t think a long weekend could hurt him. Make a half-assed ifpology, root for the greatest Patriots-Broncos game of all time on Sunday night, and take some advice from another Will Ferrell character.

#RushHourRap – YEEZUS

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Get fired up this morning with Kanye at his most Kanye. Yeezus, as most of Kanye’s albums, was looked at as pretty “out there” by most when it dropped in 2013, but now people look back and say that album was ahead of its time. Same thing happened with 808s & Heartbreak when Kanye basically brought autotune into the mainstream before anyone else. But thats why I love Kanye. He’s the definition of an artist. He’s an absolute fucking maniac, he’s always trying new shit, and he’s usually ahead of the curve with his sound. Yeezus still absolutely bangs.

Not to mention, I saw Kanye on the Yeezus tour in Boston and that concert was completely mental. Who needs Broadway when you get a show like this every couple of years?

Eminem Just Teased His Upcoming Album With a Fake Medicine Prescription Website

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I was just passively scrolling through my Twitter feed when I saw this tweeted out by Em:

At first I thought maybe it was an album cover preview as the guy has a penchant for rX artwork (Relapse, Recovery etc.). Notice the backwards E too.

Then I went to the website and was like oh wait its some kind of medicine. Then I started actually reading through some of the stuff on the website and doing my research. REVIVAL treats Atrox Rithimus, which is not a real disease, and is actually rumored to be the title of his new album so we are in BUSINESS. Looks like “Walk on Water” will likely be the first single off the new album.

Em is back and just as weird as ever. The man has an eye for the details too. Call that number on the Revival website and you get this recorded message with “I Need a Doctor” playing on the piano in the background.

Not to mention all the little references sprinkled throughout the Revival website.

Plus another reference to his 2011 collab with Dr. Dre and Skylar Grey.

And of course the sneaky tagline hidden at the bottom

Popsomp Hills (“pop some pills”) was the fake rehab center that Em used to market Relapse with a viral campaign in 2009. Impressive.

So we’ve been hearing a “November” release date being mentioned for when the new album would drop, but no real concrete details have emerged. Most artists have seemed to all but nuked the pre-announced release date after years of albums leaking before they’re supposed to launch. Apparently he’s going to be doing a huge performance at the MTV EMAs to kick everything off.

‘Revival’, as the record is rumoured to be titled, will get a ‘massive’ airing at London’s SSE Wembley Arena as part of the annual MTV celebration, taking place this year on November 12. The Sun report that Marshall Mathers’ ninth studio LP will be ‘dropped’ at the event. “This is Eminem fully relaunching his career after a few years out and gathering his thoughts. It will be a massive performance,” says the tabloid’s source.”

Sign me the fuck up. We are just a few short days away from some fresh new Marshall Mathers kicking around in my ear drums.

New Patriots Lineman Ricky Jean-Francois Already Owns 30 Dunkin Donuts Locations

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CBS Sports – “Will Ricky Jean-Francois show up to his first practice at Gillette Stadium with donuts and coffee? After all, the 30-year-old defensive lineman reportedly signed by the New England Patriots on Tuesday owns more than two dozen Dunkin’ Donuts franchises….Jean-Francois met with Dunkin’ Donuts CEO Nigel Travis before taking on his first store in Savannah, Georgia. He told FOX Sports Radio in September that he’s up to 30 stores. His goal is to operate 50 Dunkin’ Donuts before he retires, according to Packers.com.”

Here’s a guy that just gets it. These dudes are making millions of dollars to play a kids game, but most of them don’t realize they probably aren’t going to have a 15+ year career like my guy Tom Brady. You how long the average NFL careers actually is? According to the NFLPA its 3.3 years. The NFL says its closer to 6, but either way thats not very long. Most guys seem to forget that, which is why so many of them go broke and end up on 30 for 30 documentaries.

So rather than balling out and living like a maniac for 5 years, lets be pragmatic and buy up some Dunkies franchises. Diversify yo bonds. Now if Ricky takes a bad hit and his playing career is over he can always fall back on going to those annual D&D franchisee meetings in like Cedar Rapids and just run his coffee empire.

I know next to nothing about this guy, but he already seems like a smart dude and those are the types of players that always seem to thrive on Bill Belichick coached teams. Time to make the donuts indeed.

Locked Up Abroad – UCLA Basketball Edition

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ESPN – Three UCLA men’s basketball players — including LiAngelo Ball, the younger brother of Los Angeles Lakers rookie Lonzo Ball — were released on bail early Wednesday morning in Hangzhou, China, after being arrested for allegedly shoplifting Tuesday afternoon, a source told ESPN.

The three players, a group that also includes freshmen Cody Riley and Jalen Hill, were questioned about allegedly stealing sunglasses from a Louis Vuitton store next to the team’s hotel in Hangzhou, where the Bruins had been staying before leaving for Shanghai on Wednesday…

Ball, Riley and Hill were taken to the police station in Hangzhou, where they were kept for a number of hours. UCLA representatives, including coach Steve Alford, were at the police station along with the players.

Ball, Riley and Hill were released around 4 a.m. Wednesday and were staying at a luxury hotel in Hangzhou along with a UCLA representative, according to a source. They are being required by Hangzhou police to remain at the hotel until the legal process is over, the source said.

How is this story not front page news? No mention of this story on the New York Times homepage or even the Los Angeles Times homepage, and just a small link on the ESPN homepage. Three American college basketball players were locked up overnight in China. One of the players that was locked up is a member of the Ball family, the Kardashians of basketball. And oh yeah, the President of the United States just happens to be in China at the same time. This has all the makings of international incident.

It will be a while before all the details about what happened in the Louis Vuitton store come out but it’s unlikely that this case will play out like Jameis Winston crab leg incident. It was widely reported yesterday that the three players could face up to 10 years in prison, if convicted. A plea bargain including community service is probably not on the table.

Here’s what the U.S. Department of State website has to say about the Chinese legal system:

The Chinese legal system can be opaque and the interpretation and enforcement of local laws arbitrary. The judiciary does not enjoy independence from political influence. U.S. citizens traveling or residing in China should be aware of varying levels of scrutiny to which you will be subject from Chinese local law enforcement and state security.

While China might not be North Korea, it’s not Canada either. Was this not fully explained to the players before they got on the plane? They’re out of jail for the time being but even if they are not charged or convicted they might not get out of China for a while. Season 2 of Ball in the Family could be set in China.

On a side note, hopefully the NCAA will be forced to answer why they thought it was a good idea for a college basketball game to be played in China in the first place. Not every school should have to schedule games like the Ivy League, which only schedules conference match ups for Fridays and Saturdays, but it would be nice if they at least didn’t openly mock the “student-athlete” system. A week-long trip to another continent in the middle of the semester can’t be great for a student-athlete’s studies. Especially if they get locked up by a communist government.

 

 

Facebook is Stopping Your Nudes from Leaking…by Asking You to Send Facebook Your Nudes Directly

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Ad Age – Facebook is fighting revenge porn in Australia … by asking for access to people’s nude photos. And the Australian government is involved in the effort. This all requires a bit more explanation: Australia is one of a few pilot countries testing a way to stop revenge porn before it happens, as the Australian Broadcasting Corporation, or ABC, reports. People worried their photos might leak online can contact the governmental e-Safety Commissioner, which might ask them to send themselves their own nude images on Messenger. Then Facebook will flag them. If anybody else tries to upload the photo on Facebook or Instagram, they won’t be able to, ABC says. And in case you’re worried, Facebook won’t keep your sexy shots on their servers, ABC says: “They’re not storing the image, they’re storing the link and using artificial intelligence and other photo-matching technologies,” e-Safety Commissioner Julie Inman Grant told ABC.

So Facebook is going to prevent my nudes from leaking by having me cut out the middle man and just send you my nudes directly?

You wanna know how to avoid having naked pictures of yourself end up where they shouldn’t? Don’t send them to dickheads, and turn off the cloud. Thats all ya need to do. That 28-year-old man-child who lives in his parents’ basement and still gets hammered at Applebee’s every weekend? Yea, he’s probably not worthy of your nudes. Its like Glengarry Glen Ross.

“These are the Glengarry leads. And to you they’re gold. And you don’t get them. Why? Because to give them to you is just throwing them away. They’re for closers”

And turn off the goddamn cloud. You know how many times my iPhone has told me its once again failed to sync with the cloud? No shit, phone. Its like Steve Jobs is just ITCHING to see all the pics of my dog on my iPhone. I remember The Fappening. The cloud got hacked and people couldn’t believe it. No thanks, I’ll just store backups of all my shit on an external hard drive like a senior citizen.

So remember this about your nudes, ladies. They’re for closers.

Danny Ainge Continues to Look Aces as Jayson Tatum Shines and Markelle Fultz is Now Shooting Lefty?

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Yahoo – It’s been a week since the Philadelphia 76ers announced they were shutting down rookie point guard Markelle Fultz indefinitely due to the right shoulder soreness and “scapular muscle imbalance” that had rendered the No. 1 overall pick in the 2017 NBA draft virtually unable (or perhaps unwilling) to shoot jumpers or free throws. Exactly what caused the issue and why Fultz and the Sixers (mis)handled it the way they did very much remain open questions, but while the situation sure doesn’t seem any more normal than it did a week ago, it had, at least, quieted down some. And then came Monday, when reporters at the Sixers’ practice laid eyes on Fultz back on the floor to get some work in … and doing it with a southpaw stance.

So Jayson Tatum scored 21 points against the Haws last night and is now averaging 14 pts and 6 rebounds a game and hit another ballsy 3 pointer last night.

Each night he looks more and more like a key cog for the Celtics…at 19 years old. All while No. 1 overall pick Markelle Fultz, who Danny Ainge passed on, continues to have issues that are seemingly being exacerbated by the 76ers. Remember when everyone freaked out that Danny traded the No. 1 overall pick? Then freaked out again when Danny said he would’ve picked Tatum at No. 1 either way?

Danny must just be laughing his balls off at the recent turn of events. First it was Fultz having a wonky free throw shot out of nowhere. How did no scouts bring this up during the last 12 months of the Fultz hype train? Well then his agent said it was because of a shoulder issue that he developed while altering his shot in the Summer League. Umm why the fuck is the No. 1 overall pick messing with his game before even stepping on an NBA court? Well the injury had gotten so bad that Fultz couldn’t get his arms over his head. Fultz’s agent blamed the team and the team fired back and the two sides couldn’t seem to agree on what treatment Fultz was actually getting. Putting fluid in? Taking fluid out? All of this resulted in a free throw shot that Hey, Arnold would belly laugh at.

Not to mention the guy who was jacking up five 3-pointers a game in college had taken ZERO 3-pointers in the NBA. So the team recently shut down Fultz to give him some time to rest his seemingly out of nowhere bum shoulder and get his head on straight.

Now news comes out that Fultz is taking shots in practice left handed. Huh? Of course players mess around with weird shots and practice different things because you never know, but reporters at the Sixers practice said Fultz was shooting almost exclusively with his off-hand. Ruh roh.

Sure maybe he’s just shooting lefty so he can practice with the team while his right shoulder heals. Or maybe its another situation of the Sixers bungling an injury diagnosis. Seriously this team has been stacking Top 5 picks for years and they are all littered with injuries. They had the No. 1 overall pick this year (Fultz) and last year (Ben Simmons), and the No. 3 overall pick both in 2015 (Jahlil Okafor) and 2014 (Joel Embiid). Embiid has clocked 39 career games, Ben Simmons has 9 under his belt, and now Fultz is missing time after just 4 games played. All while Jaylen Brown and Jayson Tatum continue to light it up for the C’s, not to mention that other lottery pick they used to snag Kyrie Irving. Maybe Danny does know what he’s doing after all. #TrustTheProcess indeed.