An Ode To The GOAT On His 40th Birthday

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I’ll admit it: I was a Bledsoe guy. Drafted 1st overall in 1993, as I became a conscious human being, the rocket-armed Washingtonian was the prototype of a QB1 and the guy I was sure would lead us to a Super Bowl Championship, getting us to the big dance once in 1996.

So, needless to say, when Mo Lewis, contracted by the football gods, landed the shot heard ’round the universe in 2001 and caused a near-death (seriously) Bledsoe to hand the reigns over to a young back up out of Michigan, I was none too pleased. More specifically I figured we were fucked. My guy was out and our season was over.

Well I was wrong. I’ll take that one. That’s on me. That backup, chosen in the sixth round the year before Bledsoe went down, was Tom Brady, and all he has done is rack up 5 Super Bowls, 4 Super Bowl MVPs, 12 Pro Bowl appearances, 2 MVPs, and 2 Offensive Player Of The Year Awards. He now also is both the winningest QB overall and winningest QB for a single team (208 wins). This is further astounding when factoring in the bust of a 2002 season when Brady was getting used to life as an official starting QB and that his 2008 season was ended half a quarter in. Oh and a quick side note: Did I mention he’s handsome as fuck and married to a kajillionaire Brazilian super model who seems like she’s a down ass PIC as well?

Now reread all the accomplishments I listed above, personal and professional. Take a glimpse into the California-sized chip taken out of #12’s shoulder in April 2000 and you’ll see a list of accolades and achievements that transcends modern football’s standards for longevity and consistency, especially when you consider those MVPs, etc. would probably be double in number if the media that voted on them didn’t quietly hate Brady for ruining their “Peyton Manning: America’s Golden Boy” narrative they had pre-written 20 years worth of stories for in 1998.

Reread all that Tom Brady has done, all that he has earned through skill and grit, patience and perseverance, and then think of this: He did all that before he turned 40. Every last thing listed above happened before Brady reached his 5th decade. That changes today. Today, he turns 40 – coming off his fifth Super Bowl win but seemingly as competitive and driven to win as ever. He has a restocked arsenal with which to work, as Brandin Cooks, Mike Gillislee, and Dwayne Allen have been added to his toolbox. He works with a guru of sorts with whom he monitors every last work out down to the smallest of motions and every last meal down to the tiniest of morsels. Make no mistake about it, Tom Brady isn’t still here to just win, or even to be considered the GOAT, a title which, although earned, he has stated he is uncomfortable with. No, He is still coming for complete and total domination. He wants no corners of the map unconquered and no prisoners taken. He wants it all.

So Happy 40th Birthday to Thomas Edward Patrick Brady, the guy who replaced my guy, the 7th QB taken in 2000, destined to ride pine while Bledsoe played for another 5 years, at least.. For 16 years we’ve watched you prove you belong, then that you are great, then excellent. The only gift we can give now is to end the ever-changing perceptions of what we are observing and simply state – you are the Greatest of All Time.

 

Now can someone give him a fucking high-5.

 

 

#RushHourRap – J. Cole – Grown Simba

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Couldn’t think of anything better than some J. Cole to start the day as he’ll be playing at the Garden Friday night, which is his first show in Boston since his Dollar and a Dream Tour back in 2013. That was an unreal show at the Paradise as he only announced the venue and released tickets on the day of the show. Luckily I happened to live 2 blocks from where he was playing so I snagged tickets for ONE DOLLAR each. A man of the people indeed. So lets throw it back with some olddd Jermaine off the Warm Up mixtape.

I never change, I’m like a corpse in a coffin, six feet shit’s deep
I was low just a dolla and some hope fixed me
Cause I was broke plus the weed that I would smoke would make it worser
Lord, please let my problems disappear like Ron Mercer
I’m a star, Converses
Conversin’ with them girls with them curves like cursive
They open like curtains because my shit is unheard of
Like curses on the radio
Same bitches used to play me though

Yoan Moncada Nearly Decapitates Teammate and Almost Blows Out His Knee Making a Play

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Everyone remembers Yoan Moncada, the top prospect in all of baseball, who was the centerpiece of the Red Sox trade for Chris Sale. With the White Sox coming to town this weekend, its a bit of a bummer if he’ll miss any time, but he avoided any serious injury. Holy hell this looked bad though.

Speaking of Moncada though, I spotted this moron walking around Fenway last night. A Moncada Red Sox t-shirt jersey. Seriously. The guy played 8 games for the Red Sox. Reminds me of the time I saw a guy on Landsdowne Street rocking a stitched Craig Hansen jersey before his first appearance. Come on guys, we’re better than this.

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The 300s Podcast is Officially on iTunes. SUBSCRIBE

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So after more than a year in existence The 300s is finally starting to round into a moderately functional website. With that, as of today The 300s Podcast is officially available on iTunes so you can listen on your iPhone and subscribe to the podcast. Never miss an incoherent rant again. Put every single episode of The 300s Podcast in your pocket, just hit that SUBSCRIBE button on iTunes. You can also find us by searching for The 300s in your Podcast app. SUBSCRIBE, rate, and review the podcast on a real platform finally.

People In The Bay Area Are Returning Huskies At An Alarming Rate Once They Realize They Do Not Want Their Own Direwolf

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ABC – A Bay Area dog rescue club says the popular show, ‘Game of Thrones’ is leading to more dog surrenders, especially ones that look like the show’s popular Direwolves. “They’d be like, ‘Oh wow, Direwolves.'” Patty LaCava could barely make it around a San Francisco block with her two huskies when “Game of Thrones” debuted.

As I pondered this article upon reading it, the “Game Of Thrones” theme music began playing in my head, as it tends to do. That foreboding musical preview of a bloody, relentless fight for power flowed note for note through my cranium, and I imagined it ending with an opening scene set not in a medieval village or castle where Lords and Ladies argued over alliances, battles, and political strategy, but in a hip coffee shop on a hill where a beat poet rallied against climate change and techies discussed new frontiers of engineering and, well, political strategy.

Needless to say it didn’t fit. And neither does large fucking wolf-dogs in the middle of a city. Huskies need room to exercise and wander and the like. A 1 bedroom apartment that may be near a BART stop but that adds up to a generous 300 sq feet isn’t exactly ideal, even if it is close to the same dog park the cute girl from the biergarten goes to.

This reminds me of when “Sons Of Anarchy” was popular and all of a sudden “Jackson” shot to the top of the list of most popular baby names. All of us on the outside looking in sort of just chuckled knowing that a.) in a a few years context would be forgotten or embarrassingly ignored and b.)these people would some day have to explain to their kid they were named after a murderous biker their parents for some reason deified. Nice work.

So word to the wise folks, don’t get caught up in the majesty of GOT. Don’t buy a Husky if you live in a studio and don’t buy a sword. At all. Leave the adventures in high-fantasy to the people best suited for it – highly paid actors who prefer Shih Tzus.

Sara McMann Moves To Team Alpha Male Ahead Of UFC 215

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Sara McMann, 2004 USA Olympic silver medalist in freestyle wrestling, has been getting a lot of attention the past couple of weeks, and rightfully so. Some of it has to do with the excellence she displays inside the cage, some of it with the perseverance and strength she shows outside of it. In terms of Sara McMann the person, there was this piece in the Washington Post detailing McMann’s perpetual uphill battle against a litany of painful personal traumas, a new one seeming to spring up around every corner. I read something like this and as a mere mortal cannot conceive going about my normal, every day, cubicle dwelling (I actually have an office now NBD) life with these kinds of experiences weighing me down, let alone perpetually grinding to be a championship-level athlete. In discussing McMann the fighter, she is just that – championship caliber – and at almost 37 is making one last push to secure herself a UFC championship, something she failed once to do against the then-dominant Ronda Rousey. This time around, she is making a very strategic, drastic change to her preparation to ensure she attains gold.

For her UFC 215 fight against Ketlen Vieira, a bout that feels like it has received a new date 500 times, McMann has picked up her life, including her young daughter, and moved her camp to Team Alpha Male. This is a PERFECT situation for her. The Northern California gym has long taken high level wrestlers, names among which Sara McMann indeed still stands out, and integrates a style of striking and phase-changing that compliments that wrestling without hurting its effectiveness. Not only will McMann’s always-improving striking continue to get sharper, but certain aspects of her game that the folks at Alpha Male specialize in, such as scrambles, will make huge leaps as well. My only slight concern is the lack of sparring partners in her weight class, who are female at least. Alpha Male has some excellent female talent but they seem to be concentrated at the 115ish level. That isn’t to say McMann can’t hang with the boys at 135, but there are always injury risks, etc. associated with that sort of thing not to mention simple personal discomfort a male fighter might have at going 100% at a female. I don’t see this being a huge issue however as Alpha Male has always been an insanely competitive gym without becoming susceptible to the injury bug as some gyms have. More to the point, despite this lack of training maladies that are associated with a good, hard camp, their fighters are always some of the most well-prepared.

I’m biased because I love Sara McMann – her attitude, her fighting style, and ya, her resilience – but I think this is an excellent move. I thought she’d be the one to dethrone Rousey and although I’m a fan of Amanda Nunes, I think McMann has the strength and agility to beat her as well. If any updates come out regarding her time in the sunshine state I’ll certainly provide them but if not, here’s to THE Sara McMann getting it done at UFC 215.

Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 3 Recap: House by House

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We’re back for another breakdown of this week’s Game of Thrones episode, House by House. “The Queen’s Justice” is the third episode in Game of Thrones Season 7. Lots to break down so LETS GET IT.

House Targaryen

    • We FINALLY get Jon Snow and Daenerys Targaryen on screen together at the same time. After 6+ seasons of build up Fire and Ice share the screen together. And its a bit testy. You had Dany introduced with her bakers dozen titles (Mother of Dragons, the unburnt etc. etc) meanwhile Davos deadpans “This is Jon Snow….He’s the King in the North.” Now this whole scene is a fascinating power play as Khaleesi expects Jon to throw his support behind her immediately, but he’s a bit skeptical. He basically says we need each other, but you just got here why should I fight for you? What ensues is a pretty heated debate on where the Starks allegiance should lay. She mistakenly thinks Ned Stark plotted to assassinate here along with King Robert, which she’s pretty pissed about.

    • Khaleesi also reminds Jon of how the Starks swore an oath to the Targaryen “in perpetuity” buttt ya know Khaleesi’s dad did murder Jon’s uncle and grandfather soo that oath is probably off the table.
  • Like I had hinted at last week, Jon Snow did not bend the knee upon meeting Khaleesi at Dragonstone. Had a feeling he’d refuse as its something thats been foreshadowed by the stubbornness of his own family, his uncle Brandon Stark, his father Ned and even his brother Rob.
  • Jon doesn’t want anyone else to know he died? Why? Is he concerned people will think he’s insane? I guess one tall tale is enough for a first meeting. An army of the dead lead by White Walkers is hard enough to believe, why add to it and tell everyone he’s been brought back from the grave?
  • We also have Khaleesi trying to forge an alliance with Jon by giving him something; dragonglass. She agrees to let him mine Dragonstone for the glass that he wants so bad. She still doesn’t believe his story about the army of the dead, which I don’t understand. You have three goddamn dragons and you took a nap in a raging fire to bring them to life from stone eggs. How are YOU a sceptic of all people? Either way, the dragonglass is a sign of good faith as she looks to forge an alliance with the North.
  • The Unsullied took the Lannister home base Casterly Rock, invading through the sewer system that Tyrion so cleverly designed. EXCEPT, Euron and the Iron Fleet were there to sneak attack them and burn the entire fleet of ships the Unsullied came in on (again another parallel as the Greyjoys did this exact move to the Lannisters years ago, burning their entire fleet in the bays of Casterly Rock). So now Khaleesi’s largest army is stuck in Casterly Rock and would basically have to march across Westeros and abandon the fortress they just secured if they want to get back to the rest of Team Targaryen.
  • I think something that will be interesting to watch will be how this affects Tyrion, who prides himself on being the smartest man in the room. He was bested by his own brother, falling right into a trap and really hurting Khaleesi’s position. Does this make him a little less confident or hesitant in his role as Hand of the Queen? Does no longer being the smartest man in the room rattle his cage?

House Stark

  • Bran returns to Winterfell and sees Sansa for the first time since Season 1 and the homecoming is not quite what she expected. Gone is the happy little boy and in his place is an emotionless guy thats calling himself the Three Eyed Raven. To which Sansa hilariously replies, “I don’t know what that means.” Its a hard thing to explain as Bran does his best to make her realize he has the sight. Either way Sansa seems pretty put off by everything thats transpired with her brother since they last saw each other. But now there are two Starks in Winterfell. Is Arya next?

House Lannister

  • Cersei is getting revenge on everyone like an absolute gangster, killing people the same way they killed her kids. She throws on some new lipstick and gives Tyene Sand the kiss of death using the Long Farewell poison, the same poison that the Sands used on Myrcella. Only to make Ellaria sit and watch her daughter slowly die.
  • Then she wastes no time in taking over High Garden and making sure Olenna is killed. Although it seems like Jaime gave her a much better fate than Cersei would have preferred, which he may regret after hearing Olenna describe how she was the one that poisoned Joffrey. Olenna, what a badass old bitch to the very last minute, dropping a truth bomb right in Jaimes face as she’s about to die.

  • The real question is whether or not Jaime tells Cersei the truth about Joffrey? Maybe he keeps that card in his back pocket until a later confrontation with Sansa? Because remember Cersei still wants Sansa dead because she thinks her and Tyrion posioned Joff.
  • Ya gotta respect how nuts Cersei is at this point. No kids, no family aside from Jaime, not a ton of allies, no real legacy to leave. “A dynasty for us!” she proclaims to Jaime in Ep 2 this season. So theres nothing really left to fight for, except power and ensuring every last one of her enemies dies. Whether it kills her in the end Cersei does not care, as long as she takes everyone down with her.
  • Which brings me to my theory on how her arc may end. She’s definitely spiraling out of control and Jaime knows it. It would not surprise me at all if down the line everything is crashing down around her and she just says fuck it, burn them all, a la the Mad King. The parallels between Cersei and the Mad King are striking. And who would be the only one that could potentially stand in the way of Cersei? That would be Jaime Lannister, the Kingslayer. Does he see Cersei reach a point thats too far gone and decide, shit I have to end this myself, just as he did to Aerys Targaryen?
  • The Iron Bank came back to collect on the Lannister debts they so love to proclaim that they always pay. They’re understandably a little unsure of the Lannisters grasp on the 7 Kingdoms as Khaleesi looks like a pretty damn good bet to take over. Cersei, channeling her inner Taiwyn, convinces the Iron Bank to double down on her rather than back the Targaryen. Lannisters ran outta gold? No problem, let us take over High Garden real quick and you can have all the golden roses you’ll ever need.

House Greyjoy

  • Euron is back in Kings Landing, this time parading through the streets on his badass Kraken horse dragging Yara and the sand snakes on leashes, which is a startling sight as the crowds wildly cheers for him. Thats his present to Cersei, the woman that murdered her daughter. So she agrees to marry Euron…when the war is over.
  • It looks like Theon is back to square one with the iron born. One of the few Greyjoy ships that survived Euron’s attack pulls Theon out of the water and the first thing they do is ask where Yara is, how Theon knows, and why he’s still alive if he truly tried to save her. These people have no love for Theon so this is gonna be a steep uphill battle for some Reek redemption.

Additional notes from around the realm:

  • Randyll Tarly turned on the Tyrells pretty quick despite his beautiful speech last week about the oath he swore.

  • The Red Woman is headed to Volantis, which is where the Temple of the Lord of Light is, but she did say she would be back because she needs to die in Westeros…just like Varys.

  • What does that even mean? That is going to be a line we all look back at and our heads will explode, count on it.
  • But seriously what is she up to? Maybe she makes a trip to Myr too because ya know THOROS OF MYR IS FROM MYR! Is Myr the place to be for red priests? Obviously she brought Jon Snow back to life, but if you remember when she first meets Thoros and hears of how he brought back Beric Dondarrion after he fell to the Hound in trial by combat, she is speechless.
  • Here is this old drunk red priest that has an incredible ability. “You should not have this power” she says to Thoros. So maybe this is like the Athletes Performance Institute for Lord of Light followers.
  • I think she may also be heading out to recruit all the other red priests and priestesses to bring back an army of them to fight the dead. Why else would the show make it a point to showcase all the different red priests in various parts of the world over the seasons?
  •  Theres of course the Red Woman, theres Thoros of Myr, the asian red priestess that Tyrion sees in Volantis, the red priest preaching to the crowd in Meereen when Tyrion and Varys are running the show in Khaleesi’s absence, and the red priestess Kinvara who really rattled Varys in Meereen last season:
  • Thats a lot of world building for an entire fanatical religion and random references that aren’t really necessary unless it serves a larger purpose. Who better to compliment Khaleesi and Jon Snow than theLord of Light? How about red priests to forge the Targaryen fire and ya know bring Jon back to life if he gets axed somewhere along the line.

Now I have to sit here like a sap until Episode 4 airs this weekend. Sunday night can’t come soon enough.

I Think I Saw the Greatest Catch Ever Last Night at Fenway

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So I was at the Sox game last night, sitting up in the bleachers like any self respecting fan does, when I ended up having a front row seat to maybe the best catch ever. Hanley Ramirez hit an absolute BOMB, basically flipped his bat, thing looked gone. Except Austin Jackson tracked it and tracked it and leaped at the bullpen wall in CF to ROB Hanley of a huge home run.

It was like an alternate reality where Torii Hunter makes that catch for the Tigers in the 2013 ALCS.

Not Sure Where This Sits On The 0-Assasination Scale But Apparently Lana Del Rey Is Trying Put A Curse On The President

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Dazed Digital –Lana Del Rey has dropped heavy hints about her plans to take part in a magic mass “binding” ritual against Donald Trump today. The singer shared a cryptic series of dates – “Feb 24, March 26, April 24, May 23” – on her Twitter account earlier this morning, along with clue: “Ingredients can b found online.” While fans initially thought the post was something to do with the release of Rey’s new album, it was quickly linked to an anti-Trump witchcraft ritual.

There is….a lot to unpack here folks. It’s past 3 pm and I don’t want to think, let alone blog. I have about 5 more queued up that I won’t get to. But I can’t let this one go. It just has me. So I’ll give it a shot.

Lana Del Rey has always been a weird bird. She’s just a bit of a space cadet and doesn’t really seem, present, I guess. She’s like a musical Luna Lovegood. In fact, A lot of people suspect “Lana Del Rey” is more of a character, a performance art piece, than just a stage name. Think Andrew W-K-esque

Even if that’s true. Even if Lana Del Rey is a character portrayed by Elizabeth Grant, this is still a weird fucking move. For a couple reasons:

Firstly, it’s just an odd PR move in general. Character or not Lana Del Rey has done a lot to keep herself in the public eye and “make it” as a musician. Doing something as risky as both alienating half the political spectrum and professing a proclivity for the occult in one fell sweep just isn’t a smart play when folks like Halsey, Elle King, and Tove Lo are running laps around your ass.

Next, there is the fact that it’s more than her involved in this thing. There is actually a worldwide contingency of people that think if they make hand puppets at the moon something bad will happen to POTUS or he will be removed from office or something. I wouldn’t go as far as to say I am a total non-believer of the supernatural, but fringe members of society arranging a telepathic, lunar version of Hands Across America isn’t going to cut it when to comes to bringing down the most powerful man in the world.

So it remains to be seen how this all plays out for our girl Lana. N. Korea is firing off a new cruise missile every day so if this is a legit thing she isn’t doing a very good fucking job. All in all this is probably just a play to sell some tickets. Come for the songs, stay for a possible sighting of the 4th Sanderson Sister.