The 300s Reviews: Camden Yards

Camden Yards. The mecca of the retro ballpark. This was my 12th stop on the quest for all 30 stadiums and I have to say it did not disappoint.

When I visit new stadiums, there are several factors I try to take into account: the design, the food, the crowd, and the neighborhood. It would be nearly impossible to rank anything based on one of these alone so let’s break it down.

The Design:

Fairly unique. The warehouse in right field is obviously what most people would recognize immediately. The bowels of Camden are very reminiscent to the fields of yesteryear as there is no visible sightline of the field from the inside. The brick work also made me feel like I was at an actual baseball field. In other words, it was modern without being too polished (looking at you Yankee Stadium). I also noticed it felt very clean. Who would have thought something in Baltimore would give me that vibe! Seating was pretty good as well. I took a few laps of the stadium and it didn’t really seem like there was a bad seat in the house, so kudos to the design team.

The Food:

Two words: Old. Bay. They put this shit on everything, huh? Somehow in my near 30 years of existence Old Bay seasoning has alluded me until now. Let me tell you though, it is DELICIOUS. I totally get it. I would put it on my ice cream if it didn’t make me look like a psycho. It really may be the perfect spice. I doused an italian sausage in it as well as my french fries and I’m not sure if I can ever go back. It’s that good. Seasoning aside though, there wasn’t much at this ballpark that you couldn’t find anywhere else. I saw thick strips of bacon on a strip, but alas, my curiosity gravitated towards Old Bay related eats.

Bonus Points – Their own Dippin Dots flavor!

The crowd:

Tough to judge as the Orioles aren’t exactly good this year, but I was kind of expecting more out of a day game on the weekend. It was mostly a family crowd which I kind of understand on a Sunday, but still, I was hoping to see at least one drunk fan escorted out by security. Hands down the funniest thing I saw from the crowd was after the Orioles hit a home run one of the rogue Astros fans in attendance ripped the ball away from a kid trying to snag it in the seats and he threw it back onto the field. The onslaught of boos followed by the man’s gracious bow to his audience absolutely killed me. Kind of a dick move, but still hilarious.

The Neighborhood:

Camden is located right downtown near the inner harbor of Baltimore. I tend to prefer ballparks that are right in the action as opposed to say something like Dodger Stadium or Citi Field that are just so far removed from the downtown areas that even the best of tailgates don’t really help. There are a few bars around that seem like a good time, although I’m not exactly sure how rowdy they get when your team sits in 4th place in your division. Could be better, could be worse.

Overall, I’d probably put this stadium somewhere in my top 5. It was unique enough without being too over the top. I’m actually pretty surprised it took me this long to get there even though it’s only a four hour jaunt from the NY area where I grew up. Glad I got a chance to visit and can’t wait for stop 13 in Washington DC later this summer.

Score: 8/10

The 300s UFC 214 Fight Week Primers – A Tale Of Two Strikers

As I mentioned before this card is fuckin staaAAAAaaaAAcked so I’m going to write a little about it each day (nerdgasms everywhere) and then do the usual preview Friday. Today I’m going to cover the Main Card tilt between two, IMO, future Hall of Famers.

There was once a gym in Bettendorf, Iowa that produced some of the most prominent early-Zuffa era UFC names. Miletich Fighting Systems, established by the first-ever UFC Welterweight Champion, Pat Miletich, forged such fighters as long-time Welterweight Champion and UFC Hall of Famer Matt Hughes, former Lightweight Champion Jens “Lil’ Evil” Pulver, and former Heavyweight Champion Tim “The Maine-iac” Sylvia. In May of 2002, the vaunted Midwestern gym presented to the Octagon 20 year old welterweight Robbie Lawler, who although now has established a solid overall MMA game, is still known for exactly what he was known for then: a fucking grenade of a left hand.

Lawler’s first stint with the UFC lasted 7 fights, with a 4-3 record – including a legendary back-and-forth loss to a then 20 year old Nick Diaz – to show for it. His last fight in the first go-round was contested up a weight class up at 185 pounds, where he stayed for the next act of his career. Lawler turned into a bit of a domestic nomad, plying his trade to whomever in the United States wanted to pay him his asking price and gathering such accolades as the ICON Sport, SuperBrawl, and EliteXC Middleweight Championships. He then found his way to Strikeforce, the only promotion to give the UFC a run for its money the past decade or so, and found mixed results in a pool of, if not top flight, just below it middleweights. Strikeforce, as the story goes, was purchased by Zuffa and its roster, at least the portion that was found to be up to snuff, was absorbed into the UFC. Having gone 11-6 in the span of about 8 years, Robbie Lawler was, in a way, coming home. And a funny thing happened. Now re-stablilized at American Top Team after being a bit of a gym jumper for a spell, “Ruthless” returned to his old stomping ground of 170lbs, won 3 in a row, lost a close decision to Johny Hendricks, won 2 more, and then won the UFC Welterweight Championship. The frag-fisted lefty from Bettendorf was now the 170lb king of the world. And no one was happier for him then two previously mentioned former champs:

Lawler would defend the belt twice before surrendering it to Tyron Woodley via 1st round KO almost a year ago to the date of UFC 214. Some say it was just his time, he was 34 then, 35 now, he had his reign. I would argue that maybe Woodley, a hyper-explosive athlete, was just Lawler’s kryptonite at that moment in time, given, yes, Lawler’s advanced age, but also his combined high level of activity (still averaging three fights per year since 2012 at that point) and ever mounting level of competition.  He also left ATT between then and now, so his training camp very well could not of been 100% perfect. When it all shakes out, there is a saying that the simplest answer is usually the right one. Nearing 34 (then) with 38 fights in the bag, maybe Robbie Lawler just needed a break.

With a year to rehab and refresh now behind him, Lawler looks to return Saturday and make one last run, his left hand in tow.

***

Across the cage from Robbie Lawler will be none other than the UFC’s resident wild child, Donald “Cowboy” Cerrone. The longtime fan favorite was actually a decorated kickboxer before debuting in MMA in 2006. To that end, although Cerrone is now also an absolute handful on the ground, particularly off his back, his is still mostly known for some of the prettiest and deadly punch/kick combinations you’ll see in the sport.

As a diehard fan of the late, lighter-weights promotion, I would be doing myself a personal disservice if I didn’t mention Cerrone came to the UFC via the WEC and is a true legend of the WEC canvas, where he thrice tried uncsuccessfully to win the WEC Lightweight crown. More on that in a second. More recently, by happenstance due to a late replacement opponent, “Cowboy” has moved up to 170lbs. He has benefited greatly, it would seem, from no longer having to cut down to 155 and finished the first 4 welterweights he faced. But more on that in a second.

Aside from his success between bells, Cerrone is also known for being an absolute maniac both in terms of how he approaches his career and his exploits outside the cage. He fights at a ridiculous, unheard of clip, entering the octagon 4 times a year from 2013 through 2016. He will take any and all comers at seemingly any weight-class. Indeed it was Cerrone clamoring for the fight Nate Diaz eventually got against Conor McGregor at UFC 196. Outside the cage, Cerrone seeks as much adrenaline as he finds inside of it, participating in any extreme sport he can, regardless of whether or not he has a fight on the horizon.

Now I address the elephant in the room. “Cowboy” has now for awhile leveraged the use of a sports psychologist for his career. The reason for this is he starts slow and often gets in his own head, sometimes seeming unsure and tepid, a complete juxtaposition to the way he acts, thinks, talks, and succeeds the other 99% of the time. This is the main reason he fights so often – it doesn’t give him time to think. Grip it and rip it. He also, as alluded to, seems to falter at the highest pressure and biggest moments, losing all 4 major title fights he has been in as well as his most recent bout, a borderline #1 contender’s contest against Jorge Masvidal. When the lights shine the brightest, Cerrone’s flame burns the lowest. This can’t happen Saturday, as he enters the cage against another returning Welterweight in a fight with, whether the native Coloradoan likes it or not, major implications.

Both Cerrone and Lawler enter the cage Saturday coming off losses. However both of those losses came off the backs of win streaks against top-notch opponents and both men remain in the Top-10 of the welterweight rankings. With Stephen Thompson hurt and the aforementioned “Gambred” Masvidal coming off a loss to Woodley’s UFC 214 title challenger Demian Maia, it would not be a stretch to see the victor of this fight get a title shot, if not a #1 Contenders bout. Either way, two of the best “hitters”, as Nick Diaz so aptly refers to them, in the division and the sport enter the cage Saturday to see who really wants one last shot at the belt. Only one can leave with their hand, or maybe more accurately, their fist, raised.

Adrian Beltre Gets Ejected for Being a Hilarious Dickhead

I respect the shit out of anyone who can really dial up the sarcasm and Adrian Beltre had that here in spades. The former Red Sox third baseman got ejected for essentially not warming up in the on-deck circle. “Oh you want me to move over there? Let me just drag this plastic fucking rug over here if its such a big deal.”

SEE YA LATER.

Beltre is such an enigma I love it. He only played here for one year, but the guy was loved by fans, unlike half the assholes we trot out there now. Don’t touch his head, crushing dingers over the monster from one knee, and now he’s out there rearranging the field just to tweak the umpires. Love it. Never change, Adrian.

Hmmm What Show Is The Actor Who Now Plays the Other Tarley Brother From?

So real quick just to do a quick callback to one of our recommended binges. You may have noticed a new actor playing Sam’s brother, Dickon Tarley (teehee) on Sunday’s episode. Recasting has long been a headache for GOT fans. They don’t always make it obvious it’s a character you’ve seen before, especially considering, although you may not remeber, pre-“Game Of Thrones” there wasn’t a lot of shows you had to remember 6,000 characters. Anyway, the dude who played Cormac McClaggen in a Harry Potter movie or two is not playing the favored Tarley brother anymore, apparently because of a scheduling conflict with another show he was set to be on – that since has been cancelled. To reiterate, he quit GAME OF THRONES to be on an ABC show, albeit in a more prevalent part, that has already been cancelled, all across about a 6 month time-span. Fire your agent bromigo.

Which brings us to his replacement, which is a curious one as physqiue/size wise they at least appear pretty different. Anyway, the actor in question is Tom Hopper, who played a character by the name of Billy Bones….

ON BLACK MOTHERFUCKIN SAILS

“Black Sails Is A Binge-Worthy Epic Majestic Unicorn”

As a “Black Sails” diehard I obviously fanboy’d out when Hopper did his little turnaround (see: I squealed like a little school girl). Lady Ballgame was not impressed and quite frankly a bit disgusted. But whatever. Believe me when I say these two things.

1.) Tom Hopper will be a star within the next couple of years. He’s Charlie Hunnam with a bit better acting chops (and I love Hunnam)
2.) Too much Dickon Tarley is not enough Dickon Tarley from here on out.

 

Rebuttal: I Could Give A Fuck About the Patriots Going 19-0

Not going to try and make this a PhD thesis about the New England Patriots and their upcoming season, I am going to simply state I strongly disagree with my editor’s opinion (although I respect his right to it cause we’re buds 🙂 ) and give a few reasons why.

A 19-0 season is like an awesome upcoming party that you have to throw. I’m guessing it’s like planning your wedding. That night things are probably going to go great and it’s going to be best night of your life blahblahblah but putting it altogether and paying for it sucks, from what I’ve heard. Sure, it would be great to go undefeated. It’d be cool. But as a fan the stress and strain of winning week in and week out in the National Football League for 16 weeks is a grind. I honestly hate it. I feel like a lot of people, and this does not include Dougie, don’t get that just because the Pats make it look easy sometimes doesn’t mean it is. They are still playing highly trained super-athletes every single week.  Every early season loss for me comes with 5 minutes of despair followed by the epiphany of “thank God we got that out of the way”.

I also think that in the grand scheme of things 19-0 is a bit arbitrary. It would be awesome, sure. However there is a reason no one talks about the team we put together in 07′ that was only the second team to ever go undefeated in the regular season and the first to go 16-0: we lost the big one. In other words, The Super Bowl is all that really matters. We’ve won that going 11-5. We’ve lost that going 14-2. Let’s just get there and then let’s win it.

So that’s really it, my rebuttal. I guess I’m not about the glitz and the glam. I don’t care about superfluous records. I’m looking for more hardware.

Hot Pie from Game of Thrones Opens Bakery Called You Know Nothing Jon Dough

Unilad – Hot Pie from Game of Thrones has swapped his career in the show to embark on a business venture in real life by opening an online bakery… called, wait for it, ‘You Know Nothing John Dough’.

I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried, but good for you Hot Pie, strike while the iron is hot because I do not see a lot of acting gigs in your future. Sure there will always be Jonah Hill who climbs from the depths of funny fat guys to rolling around Hollywood with Decaprio, but he’s the exception not the rule. So bake that bread and make a goddamn bread empire you scene stealing sonofabitch. If I can just end this with a pun; stack that bread. I’ll see myself out.

PS – That is some genius reverse engineering some product placement. What looks warm and delicious? How about a loaf of buttery bread after being on the Kings Road for months. Sign me up for some direwolf bread, STAT. Plus You Know Nothing Jon Dough is just A+ marketing. Well done, Hotpie.

The 300s UFC 214 Fight Week Primers – A Champion And A Gentleman

As I mentioned before this card is fuckin staaAAAAaaaAAcked so I’m going to write a little about it each day (nerdgasms everywhere) and then do the usual preview Friday. Today I’m going to cover the subtleties behind the Welterweight Championship fight between Tyron Woodley and Demian Maia.

You can’t blame Tyron Woodley.

He didn’t make his pro MMA debut until he was just shy of his 27th birthday and he did not get his first major title shot until he was 30, a loss in Strikeforce to Nate Marquardt.

He made his way to the UFC after that fight, beating a couple big-name welterweights such as Carlos Condit but losing to Jake Shields and Rory MacDonald. “The Chosen One” then put together his current undefeated streak(4-0, 1 draw). His delayed ascension wasn’t over though, as he was expected to face Johnny Hendricks in a #1 Contender’s fight at UFC 192 but Hendricks was pulled from the night the day before due to what became a string of bad weight cuts. Woodley defiantly showed up to weigh ins and made weight anyway, angrily promulgating the professionalism that is making wait.

Woodley finally got his shot 7 months later at UFC 201, his patience and frustration leaving his body in the form of an explosive right hand to the face of Robbie Lawler. Woodley was now the champ, and would put on two classics against Stephen Thompson next, a draw then a win, both via razor sharp decisions.

During and after his trilogy with Thompson, now in his mid-30’s, Tyron Woodley began seeking out the “money fights” that have come to define this era in the UFC. He wants PPV fights against big names that will earn him the most money on the back end and through merch sales as possible. With his delayed stardom and thus delayed top-tier paychecks, I ask again – who can really blame him? He’s sought fights with Michael Bisping, on camera and on Twitter. Nick Diaz is a name you’ve heard come out of his mouth multiple times. He has mentioned Georges St. Pierre a couple of times as well, the Québécois seemingly having no interest in a fight with Woodley, whose name is still not considered by many as deserving a top billing. The one man Woodley has sort of avoided, not out of fear or strategy, but due to what it WON’T do for his bank account is Demian Maia.

Maia, arguably among the top 3 (I’d go Jacare, him, Werdum) BJJ players competing succesfully at this high of a level in MMA, has put together a borderline inaudible 7-fight win streak and has not lost in over 3 years. His fighting style is, to say the least, not exactly aesthetically pleasing. He uses solid boxing and movement, as well as some underrated wrestling, to get in range to grab his opponent – and then he doesn’t let go. If he doesn’t execute one of his patented, slicing guard passes to get in position for a submission, he will grind, flatten, and knead his opponent for the duration of a fight. He’s a Brazilian Jon Fitch incarnate, except he’s only 3 months older than the Boilermaker. In short, people, especially those without specially educated eyes, don’t shell out to see Demian Maia fight, which is a shame.

Before dropping to welterweight in 2012, Maia actually was a very successful 185er, going 15-4. He even earned a shot at Anderson Silva for the Middleweight title in what is considered one of the WORST title fights in UFC history. That last note probably did not help his case in pursuing the 170lb title, to say the least. Maia, in the minds of many,  should have received his shot from the UFC after his 1st round submission of Carlos Condit at UFC On Fox 21 last August, but they made him pass one more test still, seemingly in hopes, for their sake and Woodley’s, that the measured, cerebral, fan-unfriendly way Maia fights would not have to be brought to the big time – again. Alas, Jorge Masvidal also to stop his momentum in May.

It is important to note that Demian Maia is widely, if not unanimously, regarded as one of the nicest and most polite fighters in all of the sport. He is a true professional, a gentleman who publicly stated he was a bit frustrated about his delay in getting a title shot, but refused to go beyond that, quietly going about his business and grappling Masvidal into oblivion for 3 rounds. He is the personification of the sport he came from, the gentle art.

5 weeks before UFC 214, Demian Maia was hesitantly given his title shot. 5 weeks. A short notice camp for a big-time fight. Not that Woodley was any more prepared, but this is the 39 year old Maia’s last chance to climb through the tiniest opening in what has been a rapidly closing window. More than likely the UFC tried like hell to find Woodley another opponent, or considered leaving him off the card altogether. In the end, they decided this was the perfect time to give Maia his opportunity. They probably are hoping he’ll fail, that they won’t have to survive a title reign of a fighter that many fans consider to be boring. However, whether you like their fighting styles or not, the top two welterweights currently in the UFC (it’s true) are going to do battle Saturday to see who is truly the best. That’s exciting enough.

#RushHourRap – Eminem – My Name Is

If you’re like me and have to sit through soul crushing traffic every morning and every evening then you know the need for anything to keep your mind off the logjam. Personally, I like to blast rap as loud as possible as early as possible, introducing #RushHourRap. What better way to kick it off than with the Eminem classic “My Name Is”

Especially if anyones recently watched the HBO doc “The Defiant Ones” about Dr. Dre and Jimmy Iovine, where Dre explains how this track was created almost instantly after walking into the studio with Em. MUST watch for any music fan.

Tim Tebow, You Have Got To Be Kidding Me

Yahoo -After a tough start to his baseball career, New York Mets outfielder Tim Tebow is starting to knock the rust off. The 29-year-old added to his impressive stat line with the St. Lucie Mets on Sunday, belting a monstrous home run..Tebow has been putting up some strong numbers since his promotion. In 25 games, he’s hitting .317/.398/.549, with four home runs. He’s even managed to cut down on his strikeout rate. At Columbia, Tebow struck out in 28.2 percent of his plate appearances. That’s down to 19.3 percent now. His walk rate has remained stable despite the increase in competition.

Editors Note: I am fully on Team Tim Tebow. I have a Tim Tebow No. 5 Patriots t-shirt so Joey Ballgame is on his own here. #GoTebowGo

This is officially re-Goddam-diculous. From personal punt protector to AA Star. From a guy who was told to “shut the fuck up” when he tried to get his team to pray before the senior bowl to a .317/.398/.549 slash line after hitting .220 BEFORE he was called up.

My feelings for Tebow at this point make an apt contrast to my feelings for a one Conor McGregor, in case you don’t hear about him enough. I’ve stopped doubting Conor Mac and I love it. Anything he says he is going to do now I just sort of shrug and say “probably”, then laugh and smirk as people get themselves all worked up telling him he can’t. It’s a riot and a lot of fun. I’ve also stopped doubting Tim Tebow and I hate it. GTFO with suddenly being good at professional baseball you strange Jesus freak boy band lookin ass motherfucker. Do you not remember this spring training, mere months ago, when Max Scherzer made you look like a child? I hope you do. I hope you sit on top of toilet with a bat having a mental breakdown like Pyle in “Full Metal Jacket” just reliving that moment. Because I am getting sick and tired of this whole Tebow narrative. Fuckin evangelical Roy Hobbs.