Tag: Calvin Johnson

A Dialogue On a Manufactured High School B-Ball Team

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Joey B and Red react to the news that LeBron James and Dwyane Wade will both have their kids transferring to the same high school to play ball together. Time really is a flat circle, huh?

Joey B:
Hey Red,

To kick things off, where on the scale of Jonathan Moxon’s Dad – Stage Parents do Bron and Wade fall here in terms of winning vicariously through your, in this case, high school basketball player?

Red:

This is simply LeBron reading all of my criticisms of him and the NBA at large for its way too chummy AAU culture and doubling down on the death of competition. Where’s the killer instinct? Idk maybe its because I was always the smaller, less skilled, underdog on all my teams, but I would much rather be leading my hometown public high school to a state title than teaming up with a bunch of other rich kids to go 82-0. Its not like LeBron Jr. needs the exposure for recruiting either!

Joey B:
Ya you make a good point. What is there really to be gained by going undefeated and beating these teams with 6’1 Centers 148-26? It’s like Bron shot DWade a “hey know what’d be fun text?” text and DWade didn’t have the heart to say “…why?” (There was no way this was Wade’s idea).It’s insane that this concept has trickled down to H.S sports though. Whose next? Would you want to see Matt Stafford Jr. chuckin to Megatron III?

Red:
At least LeBron Jr. didn’t get completely cucked like his dad and transfer to D Wade’s son’s school. But this is how Hollywood became a thing. All the best of the best just moved to one part of the world and claimed it for themselves as the entertainment capital. Sounds great right? Except when it creates a gigantic bubble of entitlement and they’re all worse off for it. Learn some adversity guys, it’ll help you in the long run.

Joey B:
Haha totally. It’s almost like Lebron and Wade are becoming a two-headed Lavar Ball. Our sons are playing TOGETHER. In HIGH SCHOOL. Then in COLLEGE. Then in the NBA.

It would be hysteeeeeeerical if either/or/both didn’t pan out and they ended up on the fringes of Lithuanian professional basketball.

Red:
Man not to go off in a completely different tangent, but Lavar Ball is a FORCE of nature. The man just speaks things into existence. He predicted his son would get drafted by the Lakers, he predicted on Colin Cowherd’s show the dumpster fire we’re seeing with Magic and the Lakers now, and he even had me believing all three sons would play in the NBA together. Well once the Big Baller Brand shoe company imploded I had to take a step back, but you just know Lavar will not stop. As a marketing man, I respect it.

Anyways, way to put mountains of pressure on your kids guys. I don’t really know how good these kids are supposed to be so I could be totally wrong here, but just look at Michael Jordan’s son, who’s name is Jeffrey Michael Jordan by the way because MJ is a fucking psychopath. He played at Central Florida and was never going to live up to his dad’s legacy, but at least MJ didn’t shine a goddamn light on the kid just waiting for him to fail in front of millions of people.

Joey B:
Lavar Ball is a categorical piece of shit. /thread.

But in general, even if the kids are supported and nurtured in the right way, imagine the pressure. I mean look what happened to Vince Wilfork’s kid (not linking to it out of respect, you have google). Even if the parent does everything right, if they were a fucking superstar it cannot be easy trying to grow and thrive in that shadow. Hence why really not a lot of start athlete’s kids have made it.

I can think of Prince Fielder and the Long brothers….and that’s it. Kind of a startling statistic.

Red:
I’ve read rumors about how LeBron wants to play until he’s 40 because it would give him the opportunity to play with his son, assuming he’s actually good enough to reach the league. Sort of like Ken Griffey Sr. playing with Ken Griffey Jr. and hitting back to back bombs. I’m not a huge LeBron fan obviously, but it would be pretty cool to see an old ass LeBron Sr. throwing an alley oop dunk up for LeBron Jr.

Joey B:
Yaaaa I can’t stand him and even I have to admit that’d be pretty cool.

Speaking of which zero percent chance Vlad Jr.’s team couldn’t do with a cannon armed outfielder off the bench. Maybe Sr. can’t hit anymore but they still could be on the field at the same time COME ON.

Red:
Love Vlad, but he aged like a can of beer in my trunk. Guy was hobbling around like he was on stilts by his early 30s.

TLDR; Moral of the blog? Have professional athletes for parents and you’re golden!

Joey B:
Or emotionally damaged beyond repair.

Calvin Johnson is Being Barred from the Recreational Marijuana Business Because of an Old Traffic Ticket

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Yahoo – Calvin Johnson, and his old Detroit Lions teammate Rob Sims, are trying to get in the Michigan marijuana business. Their application for prequalification for a marijuana dispensary, grow operation and marijuana processing facility was denied however, in part because of an old traffic ticket Johnson said he forgot about…

According to Gray’s story, Johnson and Sims were denied prequalification status by the Michigan Medical Licensing Board because of some old, minor issues.

In Johnson’s case, it was an outstanding “failure to maintain lane” ticket from July 2014 in Atlanta. A spokesman for Johnson said he was unaware of the ticket and as soon as he heard about it, he flew to Georgia to take care of it…Still, they were denied.

“One is nine years old and one is four years old and there are warrants out,” board member and retired Michigan State Police officer Donald Bailey told Gray. “They’re minor, maybe even meaningless, but the problem is their response. We’re entering this highly regulated market. And if this is their response, that’s a problem for me.”

What a bunch of horse shit this is huh?

Whether you’re pro-weed or anti-weed, one thing you cannot deny is the absolutely absurd amount of money that it will generate. Not only for the business owners, but for the states that welcome these shops due to the crazy high taxes slapped onto every sale. I don’t know what it is in Michigan, but in Massachusetts it’s 17%. We still have the pearl clutching though, even as politicians plan on how to spend all that new money they’re suddenly flush with.

“Boston Mayor Marty Walsh said he hoped the the tax revenue from marijuana in Massachusetts would be worth the “human toll.”

Give me a break, Marty. Just look at the green Massachusetts has already raked in.

“Customers bought more than $4.8 million in marijuana in the first 12 days at the first two shops that opened for adult-use sales.”

And that’s with just two stores open. Insane.

Back to Calvin Johnson’s case though, this has been a problem for a lot of people trying to get into the business and it’s hard to ignore the hypocrisy of it all. The number of well off entrepreneurs with some money that are going to make even more money selling a product that tons of people got locked up for using and are are now unable to sell said product (because of those arrests) now that it’s actually legal is wild.

Now I’m not going to shed any tears for Calvin Johnson seeing as the guy made over $100 Million in his football career, but it does make you think about who will be getting shafted trying to get into the gold rush that will be recreational marijuana.

Could Calvin Johnson Soon Be a Member of the Patriots?

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Rumblings of some backdoor negotiations popped up over the weekend of two mystery teams inquiring with the Detroit Lions about Calvin Johnson, who as we all know is currently retired. Since Johnson retired while under contract with the Lions, Detroit still owns his rights so any team that wants to dust off Megatron would need to work out compensation with the Lions. Aside from Carson Palmer coming out of retirement and accepting a trade to Oakland, you don’t see a ton of moves like this. Usually the player is retired for a reason and he’s either 1.) washed up or 2.) doesn’t want to play anymore. But take one of the all-time great receivers of my generation and have him play on a dogshit Lions team for 8 years which included all of 2 playoff games. No wonder that guy said yea I’m done taking huge hits for regular season accolades.

But tempt that guy with the possibility of joining a playoff bound team like the Patriots (or the Eagles) then maybe he reconsiders. And Detroit is basically over a barrel because Johnson is already retired and could very easily stay retired, so it shouldn’t take more than a low draft pick, and of course the big money he’s owed ($16 Million this season).

Chris Mortensen is saying the Eagles and the Jaguars are the most likely landing spots, but I think we all know how many things Mort has fucked up in the past so I wouldn’t take this as gospel. But Schefty also threw some cold water on his own report this morning saying:

“The Lions told teams to reach out to the retired wide receiver to gauge his interest, but so far it has been noncommittal at best, diminishing any hope for a deal, sources said.”

But would there be anything more Belichick than coming out of the shadows and replacing an injured Edelman (and possibly Chris Hogan) with a future HOF player that no one ever saw coming? Put a physical specimen like that on the Patriots as the 2nd or 3rd option and it would just be unfair for opposing defenses. Either way, we’ll know the answer to this by end of day tomorrow since Tuesday is the trade deadline. Megatron watch is ON.

Tom Brady to Grace the Cover of Madden 2018 at 40 Years Old

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Alright now…how to react to this news?

A younger version of myself would freak out at the prospect of my franchise quarterback appearing on the cover of Madden because dudes used to routinely get injured after landing the cover. But TB12 put that to rest real quick with a few simple demonstrations.

https://www.facebook.com/plugins/video.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2FTomBrady%2Fvideos%2F1560009470706864%2F&show_text=0&width=560

Smashed mirror? No problem? Walk under a ladder? Get that shit out of my face.

Lets get scientific about it though and break it down year by year, going back an arbitrary number of years because Madden 03 was the first Madden I actually had. On the PC no less. You ever try running go routes on a 12 inch computer screen? Holy hell, but I digress. Onto the list, with some help from Digital Trends.

  • 2003: Marshall Faulk has one of his worst years ever and its the beginning of the end of his career.
    • CURSE: In full effect
  • 2004: Michael Vick fractures his fibula and misses the first 11 games of the season
    • CURSE: 100%
  • 2005: Ray Lewis has a down year, but nothing curse worthy…he did tear his hamstring the following year though.
    • CURSE: Meh
  • 2006: Donovan McNabb was plagued by a groin injury before tearing his ACL later in the year.
    • CURSE: You bet
  • 2007: Shaun Alexander broke his foot in Week 3 that season.
    • CURSE: Prevails once again
  • 2008: Vince Young was plagued by quad injuries all year before being replaced by KERRY COLLINS.
    • CURSE: Continues to cruise
  • 2009: Brett Favre played pretty well actually before injuring his shoulder down the stretch and tanking his (and the Jets) effectiveness.
    • CURSE: Yea, not even including Brett’s cell phone pic troubles
  • 2010: Larry Fitzgerald/Troy Polamalu – Fitz actually had a career year, but Polamalu injured his MCL, missed a month and then eventually injured his PCL as well.
    • CURSE: 50/50 split but still yes
  • 2011: Drew Brees stayed healthy but threw twice as many picks as the year prior and the Saints lost to the first team to ever make the playoffs with a losing record in Seattle that year.
    • CURSE: Not reallyyy
  • 2012: Peyton Hillis came out of nowhere to have a huge year to land the cover of Madden only to battle illness and hamstring issues all season. Rushed for under 600 yards, the Browns let him walk after the season and that was a wrap on Hillis’ career.
    • CURSE: Yup, you sunk my battleship
  • 2013: Calvin Johnson set the single season record for receiving yards soo he did alright.
    • CURSE: Nope, Megatron shatters it
  • 2014: Adrian Peterson battled through a foot injury all year long and the Vikings only won 10 games.
    • CURSE: Yessir
  • 2015: Richard Sherman had a great season and stayed healthy…but they did lose to the Patriots in the Super Bowl.
    • CURSE: Nah, but we did get this legendary GIF out of Sherman’s season 

  • 2016: Odell Beckham Jr. has 1,400+ receiving yards and 13 TDs and is named to this second consecutive Pro Bowl.
    • CURSE: No shot
  • 2017: Rob Gronkowski played only 8 games last season as missed the first game of the year with a hamstring injury, then got on a roll, but ultimately hurt his back in Week 7 against Seattle and missed the rest of the season.
    • CURSE: Put the smackdown on Gronk

So by my scientific count, that makes 10 instances of the Madden Curse wrecking a guy’s season since Madden 2003.

But, hey this is Tom Brady we’re talking about. The 5 time Super Bowl champ who continues to get better like a goddamn fine wine. As long as he’s go his avocado ice cream and his shady health guru Alex Guerrero and his TB12 voodoo magic, I think Brady will continue to roll. You think the Madden Curse and mother nature can stop this specimen?

I think not.

PS – If something does happen to Tom this year I am going to go full Brian Mills on everyone that has ever worked at EA Sports.