IN THE FACE! #Patriots #Broncos #NEvsDEN #SNF pic.twitter.com/dXlA627KAz
— The 300s (@The300sBoston) November 13, 2017
I was watching the Patriots smother Brock Osweiler all night, but when I saw that blue hat FLY up into the air after this throw I had to rewind it. When I realized it was some poor shmuck getting smoked right in the head I had to watch it about 5 more times and cackle like a maniac each time. There’s really only one way to sum this up.
This will suffice as well.
You thought this guy was going to go quietly into the night? I don’t think so. Not if there’s a $10 million offer on the table from the Miami Dolphins. I think Jay Cutler is a better QB than he’s ever gotten credit for, but I also think his biggest problem has always been perception. He looks like a guy that does not give a shit and doesn’t really want to play. Whether thats actually true or not nobody except maybe Kristin Cavallari knows, but hey perception is reality.
Which is why Cutler signing with the Dolphins is very interesting. Its the best team he’s been on, at least offensively, in years plus its in the warm and comfortable city of Miami. Maybe he puts the Menthols down for a few months and has a mini career resurgence a la Kurt Warner in Arizona. Or maybe he collects $10 Million to half-ass a season before going into the FOX booth.
Cutler started his career off as a promising young QB, then became salty as fuck when new Denver coach Josh McDaniels tried to trade him for Matt Cassel, forced a trade, landed with the Bears, played pretty well there for a couple of years with Brandon Marshall, then the team started to get worse before bottoming out last year and becoming a complete dumpster fire. Add all that to the fact that Chicago is a miserably cold city during the football season and I can see how Smokin Jay Cutler was born.
BUT, Cutler’s also only thrown for 4,000+ yards once in a season, and thrown 25+ TDs 3 times in 10 years. For a quick AFC East comparison, Tom Brady has thrown for 4,000+ yards 8 different times and has thrown 25+ TDs 12 times in his career. So Tom Brady he is not.
But the Dolphins don’t really need him to be. They just need him to be similar, if not better, than the level of production they were getting out of Ryan Tannehill. I think its a pretty safe bet to assume most Dolphins fans are pretty lukewarm on Tannehill. He’s been good, not great. He hasn’t made the jump to a top tier QB like most hoped he would. Again for comparisons sake, Tannehill has thrown for 4,000+ yards twice in five years and thrown 25+ TDs just once in his career. His career completion percentage of 62.7 is just a tick higher than Cutler’s 61.9. Tannehill is more mobile, but the difference is not as much as you would think. The last four years Tannehill has rushed for 164, 141, 311, 238 and 211 yards (4.9 Yards per Attempt for his career) with 6 TDs. In that same timespan Cutler has rushed for 24 (limited to 5 games by injury), 201, 191, 118, and 233 (4.5 Yards per Attempt for his career) with 3 TDs. So not a huge difference.
My point is the Dolphins aren’t completely and totally fucked. Cutler is not Tom Brady, but he’s better than most people think.
Okay, okay, you want to see how he stacks up against the most famous free agent QB ever in Colin Kaepernick too? Despite his gazelle like speed, Kaepernick “only” averages 6.1 Yards per Rushing Attempt. People remember those who huge runs in the playoffs a few years back and it skews perception. In the 2012 playoffs he rushed for 264 yards and in the 2013 playoffs he rushed for 243 yards and 4 total TDs, which is 9.9 Yards per Attempt). Overall though? Not that much better. Not so much better you want to deal with bitchy questions from everyone holding a microphone for the next 6 months. His passing stats? Career completion percentage of 59.8 (lower than both Cutler and Tannehill). He’s never thrown for 4,000+ yards. He’s never thrown for 3,500+ yards. Never threw 25+ TDs, he’s only topped 20 once. Kaepernick obviously has a much smaller sample size of games started than Cutler, but those are the numbers guys.
So if anything the Dolphins will be interesting to watch, assuming Jay Cutler wants to do more than just collect a paycheck. But if he truly just wanted to snake another check, Cutler could have signed with the Jets months ago. Maybe he sees a legit opportunity here with Miami. The Patriots have had the AFC East on lock for a while now so its not like they will suddenly contend for the division. But similar to the Vikings getting Sam Bradford last year, except much better because Miami didn’t have to give up a FIRST round draft pick to get Cutler, brining in a solid, veteran QB probably keeps them in contention for a Wild Card spot. Smokin Jay Cutler is back indeed.
Broncos still haven’t re-sold stadium naming rights
So the Sports Authority, much like Blockbuster and countless other brick and mortar stores before, went out of business fairly recently due to it being completely obsolete. This is an issue for the Denver Broncos as Sports Authority had the naming rights to the Broncos stadium, which they now obviously can’t pay, thus rendering the stadium nameless. Now Denver has a large chunk of lost revenue they are sitting on as they still haven’t inked a new deal with another entity to name the stadium after. Let’s give them a hand!
1.) Alphabet Field
Soon enough Google and it’s parent company are going to run the world via a search engine-centric version of the Hunger Games universe so why not just stop resisting now? Anyone coming in or out can be scanned for everything they like and dislike, can be implanted with a GPS tracking chip (anyone with a mustache can’t get a home loan anywhere near a school, that sort of idea), and maybe the folks in Silicon Valley can even pick mates for us “The Giver” style. It’s called fucking evolution people. (Elon Musk is going to be super mad he didn’t think of this).
2.) Backpage.com Stadium
I’m actually a pretty big proponent of legalizing prostitution. It’s simple really. If people got laid more they’d be less angry and less apt to do some of the more crazy, irrational shit we see on the news ever day. To that end lets make it easier for those who have trouble finding a partner for the horizontal tango by allowing them to rent one. Backpage, completely off the official record mind you, seems to be the go to place to find a hooker these days so let’s take the first step and name a stadium after it, get the word out there. C’mon Denver, you’re a progressive city.
3.) Pot Field
Ya I mean I really don’t have a joke here. Nothing clever. They’ve all been made. Colorado just loves weed.
4.) Vegan-Crossfit Stadium
This is the best of the bunch in my opinion, maybe the best idea I’ve ever had, period. Slap this name on the stadium. Offer tofu burgers and kale and shit to eat and dead-lift stations instead of VIP clubs and bars. Then when all of those obnoxious fucking people who don’t shut the fuck up about biologically flawed lifestyle choices enter the stadium and sit down for the game, we lock the fucking doors. Forever. Don’t starve them, don’t torture them. Feed them. Allow them to be. Allow them to thrive. Just nowhere near mainstream society.
So that’s it. Four ideas of what to name the Broncos stadium. Get this to John Elway.
If you wanted to move on from the shit storm that was the Jeff Fisher era AND make a splash in LA, this is how you do it. Hire the youngest coach in NFL history. 30 year old Sean McVay, the offensive coordinator of the Washington R-words, is the new coach of the LA Rams.
Don’t make the mistake of hiring another mediocre coordinator or a guy who’s already been a crappy coach in the past. Inject some new blood, some excitement and a guy who actually has created a great offense and built up a QB in Kirk Cousins. Thats what the Rams needed. God knows Jared Goff needs it. Plus it will be wild to see a guy who looks like a ball boy calling the shots from the sideline.
I *love* wunderkinds, especially in industries that are dominated by old boring guys. Bill Belichick is the best coach in the history of the league and I would take a bullet for him, but he is an old boring guy. If a dude who’s basically the same age as me can succeed as an NFL head coach then that makes all the blood, sweat and tears I’ve poured into Madden over the years all worth it.
It reminds me of when Theo Epstein was named GM of the Red Sox back in 2002 when he was TWENTY EIGHT! Thats insane. I can barely pay my bills at 28 and I certainly can’t balance a check book and he was managing one of the biggest franchises in all of sports at that age.
So yea, I always root for young guys getting a shot in front office and coaching positions, mainly because it just happens so rarely. Hopefully he pans out better than Josh McDaniels first go as a young head coach in Denver, which blew up in less than 2 years.
Sports are tricky because all of the players will be around his age, if not older, so it can be easy for that to become a distraction. It looks like McVay is already doing his best to combat though, surrounding himself with very experienced coaches to counteract his inexperience, which is smart. He just brought on 70 year old Wade Phillips to be his defensive coordinator. A 30 year old head coach with a 70 year old DC is still a hilarious image to think of. That is a can’t miss TV sitcom. Its too bad the Rams were on Hard Knocks last year because I would watch the shit out of that show.
The 300s 