Tag: Fantasy Football Follies

The 300s Bloggers “Earl Thomas Was Right” Fantasy Football Round Up – Week 4

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O hey there. So we are officially a quarter of the way through the 2018-2019 football season and with that, we are really beginning to see what our fantasy football teams are made of. We are also beginning to see what the waver wire is made of as more and more players go down, forcing owners to try and convince themselves that Senorise Perry is about to have a breakout week. But as we prepare for the return of Julian Edelman, let’s check in with the your favorite amateur typists to see how their fantasy squads did this week.

Joey B

I got fucking washed. Other than the Stafford-Tate connection no one showed up, least of all a certain #87. I even experienced the rare goose egg courtesy of Sammy Watkins last night. Definitely looking forward to rebounding next week when I get Devin Funchess back and slot Cameron Brate (O.J Howard is hurt) in for Gronk.


Red

Finally got a W on the books and it literally took until the final drive of the Monday night game. Demaryius Thomas was really earning his keep as my 5th round pick mustering up 3 points with a little over 2 mins left in the game. Keep in mind that during all this I am down by ONE POINT in my head to head matchup. Less than 2 minutes to go and Patrick Mahomes put the Chiefs ahead so Denver is forced to throw the ball. Thank Christ. With 1:39 to go Case Keenum immediately takes a sack. Good start. I am screaming at my TV at this point. The very next play Keenum completes a 9 yard hitch route to Thomas to nab me the ONE POINT I needed to seal the deal. Fantasy football is legitimately taking years off of my life.

Oh and my TE Tyler Eifert broke his ankle. 


Big Z

I don’t know what’s more remarkable, the points I leave on my bench each week or the fact that I’m still winning in spite of my poor coaching decisions. Either way, I won my Week 4 match up 108-76, and at 3-1 am currently sitting in the 3rd place in my ten-team league. Maybe it’s my “defense.” I’m seventh in points, but have “allowed” the fewest points in the league.

Brandon Cooks and George Kittle really saved my bacon in Week 4 with 24 points each. Russell Wilson was a disappointment with just 7 points, and I’ll finally be giving him the hook in Week 5. Time for some Matty Ice, baby! Oh, and did I mention that my opponent played the Cleveland defense?

Mattes:

S-O-Fucking-S! The Purple Cobras are currently in the midst of their worst season ever, sitting at 1-3 and dead last in the league in points by a cool 30. After getting a combined 11.48 points from Russell Wilson, Jordan Howard, and O.J. Howard, I had absolutely no shot, but my opponent made sure to put up almost 160 on me anway. (OH, and Amari Cooper had another phenomenal game on my bench.) Maybe it’s time for Baker Mayfield to come in and right the ship?

Fell down to .500 in my other league, sitting at 2-2. The week started off blazing hot with Kirk Cousins, but then Michael Thomas also decided to forget how to play football this week. Getting two points out of my FLEX and leaving 17 points on the bench from Sony Michel – the guy who I was originally going to play in my FLEX – didn’t help either, especially when you lose by only seven points. Still right in the thick of it all, though, so I’m not sweating it.

The 300s Bloggers’ Baker Mayfield Invitational Fantasy Football Round Up – Week 3

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Dearest Readers,

I hope this column is enjoyable and an easy read, not a Vance McDonald stiff arm to the skull.

Briefly,

-Joey B.

Papa Giorgio

1-2 for me this week. Fournette and Dalvin Cook being hurt sunk one of my teams as I had to field some garbage RBs. Drew Brees was electric for me though. My one piece of fantasy advice is if you ever have anyone on your roster from the NFC South and two of the teams are playing each other that week, start them. Saints/Falcons always seem to end in some ridiculous score and the wilder the finish, the more fantasy points you’re going to get. Also, my real life Bills thrashed the Vikings so even though I didn’t have the greatest fantasy week, Bills Mafia was reborn under Josh Allen.


Joey B

So I lost in week 3 but find solace in the fact that it took Gronk, both RBs, and my defense shitting the bed, changing the sheets, and then shitting the bed again for that to happen. Stafford played well (against the fucking Pats) and Michael Thomas continues to have the same success on the football field that Dave Thomas had in the fast food industry


Red

We’re swimming in a sea of mediocrity folks as I got my first win of the season but split on my two leagues, bringing my season record to an underwhelming 1-5. On a more somber note; a roster spot just opened up on my squad as my dude Jimmy G tore his ACL on Sunday. I may just keep him on my roster out of respect. A fantasy football moratorium if you will.

Big Z

The Big Z Fantasy Empire improved to 2-1 in Week 3, but boy did I have to sweat it out. I didn’t take my first lead of the week until the fourth quarter of the Monday night game when James Conner put me over the top. I only needed 7 points to win, and he took almost 60 minutes to put up the 9 points that gave me a three-point win.

Oh, and did I mention this was all while Matt Ryan was on my bench? Ryan put up 40 points while Russell Wilson got me 15. Instead of having a Toilet Bowl for last place every year, they should just give a trophy of a horse’s ass to the player with the most bench points. I’d be well on my way to that trophy this season.

As much as I hate a fantasy QB controversy, I may have to make the switch this week. I’ll also have to survive Christian McCaffrey’s bye week, so Week 4 looks like a daunting battle already

 

Mattes

Got the double victory this week for the first time in 2018! Although I would NEVER root for my fantasy team over my real-life team, maaaaybe Brady having one of the worst games of his life this week didn’t turn out all that bad for me. Considering Brady was projected to score 20 more points than he did and I beat my opponent by 19, at least there’s a silver lining. I also only had one guy score less than six points, which was Amari Cooper, who could quite possibly be the most frustrating player to own in fantasy right now. The guy should be a stud, but has gone from two points in Week 1 to 16 points in Week 2 then right back down to two this week. Maddening. Carlos Hyde is looking like a fifth-round STEAL for me as well, especially with Baker now running the show in Cleveland. Also, my sneaky ROY candidate, Kerryon Johnson, looks like he’s ready to take over in the Motor City and may be coming off my bench for the first time this week. It was a rough 0-2 start, but things are now looking up for the Purple Cobras.

My other team continued to roll as well, even with Kirk Cousins and Larry Fitzgerald combining for a measly 13 points. Cousins will bounce back, and I am praying to everything holy that Josh Rosen can turn the Cardinals offense around, because I also have an incredibly disappointing David Johnson, whose week was fortunately salvaged with a receiving TD. Michael Thomas and Jarvis Landry are a nasty WR1 and WR2 in a full-point PPR, and somehow I was able to add Matt Breida on waivers last week. He got me 14 points on Sunday and will be a great FLEX option moving forward along with guys like John Brown and Bilal Powell. Catch City Bitch is now 2-1 and feeling good.

The 300s Podcast: Fantasy Football Follies

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Football is back, thank christ. So this week, as summer is winding down, we turn our attention to the biggest productivity killer in corporate America; fantasy football.

-Flatscreen TVs are now disposable apparently

-Since I can’t play poker, Fantasy Football allows me to feel like a man and gamble

-Is DraftKings too much math and not enough fantasy?

-Hot Take: Live Drafts SUCK

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