Tag: Golfing

Phil Mickelson and His Jacked Calves Are On Standby to Replace Tom Brady If Necessary

So yesterday news broke that Tom Brady was on the Patriots injury report after being limited at practice with a calf injury. I’m not too worried because this is the same guy that was on the Patriots injury report every week for approximately a decade with a shoulder. However, in case anything tragic does transpire, we’ve got Phil Mickelson and his JACKED calves on standby.

Even Brady himself was on board with at least a few tips from Phil on how he built those leg cannons.

In case you’ve somehow forgotten, Phil has absolute porterhouse steaks packed into his calves.

PS – Phil absolutely SMOKED a guy for shooting his shot trying to get 18 holes in with the legend and I am wheezing.

Brooks Koepka Crushes New “This is SportsCenter” Commercial

What can’t this man do? Dominate every major tournament he plays in, rocks banana hammocks while on vacation with his super model girlfriend, makes me feel some kind of way with his ESPN The Body Issue photo shoot, and now deadpan acting in his This is SportsCenter debut.

True story: one time Mattes and I completely punted on studying for our final exams in college because the night before the exam ESPN dropped a 2 hour long Best of This is SportsCenter Commercials special on us. The choice was out of my hands. Hey, I got a C so it was well worth it.

Whats your favorite SportsCenter commercial?

The Open at Royal Portrush Has Been a House of Horrors for Everyone Except My Fantasy Team

Today has been a nightmarish start to The Open for a whole bunch of household names at Royal Portrush. Tiger Woods is +7 and tied for 144th. Seeing as how he’s had more surgeries than Gronk and has a spine made of Adamantium, Tiger unsurprisingly doesn’t play as well in cool weather. Bad news because Ireland is pretty much permanently 60 degrees and rainy.

Rory McIlroy is +8 and tied for 150th. Oh and Rory had a QUADRUPLE bogey on the first fucking hole.

Rough start for Rory who may be gripping the clubs a little tight playing in front of his countrymen.

Oh and David Duval had an absolute meltdown on Day 1 with a 14 on the 7th hole. The former Open champ and No. 1 golfer in the world actually set a record for the worst Open round in 69 years. Yikes.

So yes, the first round of The Open has put a beatdown on pretty much everyone. Everyone except my fantasy team. Yes in my infinite wisdom I rolled with studs like Brooks Koepka (-3), John Rahm (-4), Jason Day (-1), Tommy Fleetwood (-3), and my guy Kiradech Aphibarnrat (-3). This squad of killers has me currently tied for 4th place in my fantasy pool.

Naturally I forgot to double dip my lineup in some sweet, sweet DraftKings action, but hey I could definitely use the free green fees and cart fees that go along with winning my fantasy pool. Now I just have to sweat it out for the next 3+ days.

Phireside With Phil (Mickelson) is My New Favorite Show

SOMEONE TOOK A DUMP IN THE CUP!

Phil Mickelson is the most interesting dude in golf hands down. Completely unprompted, just launching a webs series so he can break out old stories of a phantom shitter on the golf course. I had zero idea where he was going with this, but I gotta say Phil has a real knack for storytelling. Sets the scene, introduces key characters, builds up the suspense, then BAM he drops the punchline and gets the hell out of dodge. As the infamous George Costanza once said: always leave on a high note.

Thursday Morning Good Ol’ Fashion Blog Soup

There’s a lot going on in the world of #sports and #entertainment that we can discuss here for #content but that I can’t really draw out into a full blog. So let’s fuck around and touch a lot of bases, shall we?

-A few really interesting fights have been announced lately that I never blogged (woooops).

Nate Diaz returns to fight Anthony Pettis at UFC 241 in August. Hooo baby. That is going to be something. They’ll duel at 170lbs, where Pettis recently arrived and found success, knocking out Stephen Thompson. I’d prefer to see Diaz stick to 155 as his run wayyyy back in the day at 170 didn’t go so well and  he simply lacks the strength and power to deal with the bigger and stronger fighters of the welterweight division. On top of that, I still think both are contenders at 155 when they have their heads on straight. And when Nate, you know, fights. As for the match up, if Diaz can set an early pace moving forward, Pettis will likely wilt moving backward as he always has. Likewise if “Showtime” can find a rhythm with his kicks and movement early, it could be a long night for Nate. An x-factor could be if Diaz calls on what happened in his first fight with Conor McGregor and gets the fight to the ground. Pettis is no slouch in the submission department but he’s not a 209 black belt.

Secondly, it would appear Khabib and Dustin Poirier are going to unify the 155lb strap at UFC 242 in Dubai. The card would kick off at 2:00pm EST so it is a PRIME day drinking event. Khabib, in my opinion, is going to maul anyone he faces but at this point in his career you can never count Poirier out, so looking forward to this one.

-Let’s leave MMA town now. I posted something to Facespace about this last night but I’ll leave it here as well. “Game Of Thrones” is the best TV of our lifetime. A true spectacle and something that if I was a douchie Hollywood-type I’d refer to as an achievement. So just because this season hasn’t gone according to YOUR plan and just because there are plot holes that YOU don’t like because they need to wrap the show up, it doesn’t change the fact that there won’t be anything like this ever again and it is still fantastic. It also doesn’t make you cool to publicly scream that opinion off a rooftop.

(O and if you’re trying to turn Khaleesi’s rampage into some sort of anti-feminist slight, please seek some fucking help. Where were you when Cersei did the same fuckin thing?)

-Red and I, once accompanied by Papa G, have kicked off the 2019 golf season, thus far with mixed results. Papa G actually hit the longest tee ball these eyes have ever seen. Not in any sort of productive direction but man I’ll tell ya, it was a bomb. I actually could see all of us making a little leap in ability this year if we keep playing consistently. Either way nice to be out there considering it’s usually been 45 and rainy for the past three months.

Mattes wrote a great blog on the Jamie Collins signing so go there for a full breakdown. My only divergence from what he wrote is that I’m seeing a few #footballguys note that data points to Van Noy being more productive in our defense than Collins was. Collins just had more flashy plays and pure, visual athleticism. Still, I still love the signing and whenever you can sign a Jamie Collins it is going to make your defense better. As a matter of fact I think the Pats’ LB corps is now sneaky-stacked with Collins, Van Noy, Hightower, forgotten stud Ja’Whaun Bentley, and Roberts.

-I posed this to Red yesterday and I don’t think he’s feeling it but it wouldn’t be the end of the world if the B’s didn’t sweep tonight because they’ve been the only reason I’ve been leaving my house on Saturdays. Having to regress to going out and then socialize would be miserable at this point. So as much as I’m rooting for a B’s victory, it wouldn’t crush me if they didn’t get it.

-The Celtics find themselves in the lottery despite getting to the second round this year. Shouts to Danny Ainge for being able to get us picks but not banners. Pretty cool bud. Anyway there will be a few guys floating around at 14 we could snag and I’m sure someone here will get into it in depth. Looking at the board KZ Okpala from Stanford has an ever improving shot at 6’8 and, if he falls into our lap, Rui Hachimura (Zags) would bring a great skill-set into our locker room and through the season before we bow out before the ECF again.

-I guess some survey came out and the Boston accent won sexiest in America. I’ve lived here 99.9% of my life (2 short stints in Jersey) and I can honestly tell you that if someone comes at me with a hard Boston accent I assume they can’t read. To be honest I think it’s because a lot of people my age fake it to sound hard and if you fake an accent to sound cool or hard you probably are indeed illiterate. Bad beat.

-Lastly, John Wick 3 comes out soon/came out (I don’t fuckin know bro) and LET’SSSS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I’m a noted avoider of most pure action, boom boom bang pow movies but I love John Wick. It’s Keanu as Bourne pretty much. What’s not to like?

 

I’ll be introducing a new weekly/bi-weekly feature tomorrow that I’ve had brewing for awhile so we’ll see how that goes. We only have a couple more until the weekend, folks.

-Joey B

The 300s Previews the 2019 PGA Championship

The second major of the season, the PGA Championship, tees off at Bethpage Black on Thursday morning with coverage starting at 1 pm on TNT. The PGA Championship actually got bumped up from its traditional August slot up to May after some schedule shuffling, which seems like a smart way to build off the momentum of the Masters Tournament to be honest. I blogged about the 2018 PGA Championship last year, which was an absolute show as Brooks Koepka barely edged out a surging Tiger Woods to win by two strokes. I also predicted that Tiger would win a major sooner than later after that event, which he did so just 8 months later. So not a big deal, but you’re welcome, Tiger.

This year’s PGA Championship is at Bethpage Black on Long Island, which to put it bluntly is a bitch of a course:

“The sign behind the first tee of the Black Course at Bethpage State Park says all you need to know about what the world’s best golfers will face when they tee it up in May. In the 2002 U.S. Open at Bethpage Black, only one player — Tiger Woods — finished below par for the tournament. In 2009, Lucas Glover won finishing at 4-under and only five players finished under par.” – PGA.com

So that sucks for these guys, but its also awesome for fans like me who are mediocre at golf. Seeing a world class golfer shank a shot and f bomb their way down the fairway just makes me feel better about shooting +4 on a Par 4 or as I like to call it “Double Par.”

Tiger and Koepka will be paired together so that makes for A+ golf entertainment right out of the gates as the winners of the past two major tournaments will be teeing off next to each other.

Of course heading into this weekend the main storyline is going to be can Tiger do it again?

Tiger Woods (+1100) is playing his first event since winning the Masters in April and is one of the favorites to bring it home. For the first time in a while it feels like he deserves that distinction too. Old Tiger is gone, but New Tiger is still a pretty dominating player when he’s on his game.

“Tiger Woods broke through at the Masters to pick up his 15th major championship and first major win since 2008 at the U.S. Open. Can he make it 16 and pull within two of Jack’s record at Bethpage? Well, history would say it’s quite possible. Tiger Woods conquered the first two legs of the grand slam back in 2002. The courses he played? Augusta National and Bethpage Black.” – PGA.com

There was a great article on ESPN the other day about how all the young guys are chomping at the bit because they all want to play against Tiger at his best. To which David Duval told all the millennials to go get their shinebox: “The hell you do,” Duval said.

After winning the Tour Championship, Woods noted how many of the young players lauded his comeback and said they wanted to go against him.

“Well, all right,” Woods said. “Here we go.”

Brooks Koepka (+1100) is your defending champ after winning the 2018 PGA Championship so coming into the weekend as one of the favorites feels about right. Especially after he finished just one stroke behind Tiger at the Masters and if not for some shaky putting could have earned himself another major (as well as some nice pocket change for you favorite blogger). Koepka for whatever reason seems to shine at the biggest events; he’s won three of the last 9 majors and in those 9 majors he’s placed in the top 6 a total of 6 times. So expect him to show up at Bethpage this weekend.

Dustin Johnson (+1000) is the favorite to take home the Wanamaker Trophy and its well earned, finishing one stroke back of Tiger at the Masters and oh yea he currently sits as the No. 1 ranked golfer in the world. Johnson is a solid bet, but he has been pretty up and down in recent tournaments. His last 6 finishes have been 28th, 2nd, 40th, 6th, 5th, and 1st.

Xander Schauffele (+2500) – My man Xander still gets no respect despite finishing ONE stroke behind Tiger (and losing me hundreds of dollars) at the Masters. The guy was one stroke (and a classic Tiger performance) away from winning a green jacket and he is yet again 25-1. I’m gonna ride with Xander here for my long shot because he looked like a major winner in the makings at Augusta.

Rory McIlroy (+1100) – I am fully expecting Tiger to stunt on Rory this weekend after the young Irishman said last year that he’s got no fear of Tiger.

“…asked if players were going to have to “deal with Tiger now for a few years.”

“Not Tiger that Phil [Mickelson] and Ernie [Els] had to deal with,” McIlroy said. “It’s a different version. … I wouldn’t say we’re worried about him, but he’s one of those guys who is always in there with a shot.”

Do I believe that?

Rory has been playing very well this year though with eight Top 10 finishes in his last 10 events, including a W at the Players Championship, so he’s not a bad bet to win this major.

Rickie Fowler (+1800) – Probably the most dangerous guy on this list to never win a major. Fowler started off the year pretty rough with a 47th place finish at the Players Championship and a 17th place finish at the Valero Texas Open, but he’s rebounded to 9th at the Masters and 4th at the Wells Fargo Championship most recently. I love watching Rickie play, mainly because he’s a tatted up guy thats my age playing against a lot of old boring golfers. Plus you have to respect his game after he wifed up legendary pole vaulter Allison Stokke who went viral a few years back for making people pay attention to pole vaulting.

Jordan Spieth (+4000) – Jordan has great odds at +4000, but the guy’s game is incredibly volatile. Spieth is either dominating the field or he is out of it before we even get to Sunday. In fact he’s been awful this year. Currently ranked No. 39 in the world, he’s failed to finish in the top 20 yet in 2019, and hasn’t won a tournament since 2017. He’s a big name who just needs to cross off the PGA Championship to complete the career grand slam, but he’s far from his best right now.

Here are the rest of the odds for the 2019 PGA Championship courtesy of OddsShark and Bovada as of Tuesday afternoon. I cut it off at +15000 because after that you get into some real long shots that won’t even make the cut.

Dustin Johnson +1000
Brooks Koepka +1100
Rory McIlroy +1100
Tiger Woods +1100
Rickie Fowler +1800
Jon Rahm +2000
Justin Rose +2000
Jason Day +2200
Francesco Molinari +2500
Xander Schauffele +2500
Tommy Fleetwood +2800
Tony Finau +3300
Bryson DeChambeau +3500
Hideki Matsuyama +4000
Jordan Spieth +4000
Patrick Cantlay +4000
Sergio Garcia +4000
Matt Kuchar +4500
Adam Scott +5000
Bubba Watson +5000
Paul Casey +5000
Gary Woodland +6600
Henrik Stenson +6600
Louis Oosthuizen +6600
Marc Leishman +6600
Patrick Reed +6600
Phil Mickelson +6600
Webb Simpson +6600
Ian Poulter +8000
Jason Kokrak +10000
Kevin Kisner +10000
Rafa Cabrera-Bello +10000
Aaron Wise +12500
Branden Grace +12500
Cameron Smith +12500
Charley Hoffman +12500
Hao Tong Li +12500
Jhonattan Vegas +12500
Keith Mitchell +12500
Lucas Glover +12500
Matt Wallace +12500
Matthew Fitzpatrick +12500
Ryan Moore +12500
Scott Piercy +12500
Alex Noren +15000
Billy Horschel +15000
Brandt Snedeker +15000
Byeong-Hun An +15000
C.T. Pan +15000
Charles Howell III +15000
Daniel Berger +15000
Eddie Pepperell +15000
Emiliano Grillo +15000
Graeme McDowell +15000
Jim Furyk +15000
Joel Dahmen +15000
Keegan Bradley +15000

The Masters Was an Instant Classic and I’m Happy for Tiger Woods, But My Wallet is Not

Joey B previewed The Masters last week and boy was this year’s event a doozy. That was a full four days of entertainment. From watching in between meetings at work on Thursday and Friday to sitting my ass on the couch all day Saturday and then waking up early on Sunday to watch the last 5 or so hours. It was an instant classic.

The Masters was awesome last year too with Patrick Reed swooping in and snatching the green jacket like an 80’s movie villain. Just an emotionless robot looking rich kid with ice in his veins. Reed finished at a just ridiculous -15 to win the event. I watched last year at my house and then at the bar before heading in for a Celtics playoff game and it was thrilling. So I figured 2019 would have a tough time topping what was such a great event last year.

Really all you’re hoping for is that Tiger is in contention come Sunday. I know a lot of people say that, but it’s true. Whether thats a reflection on the absolute void of exciting and entertaining personalities in golf is a valid question. Either way though, Tiger is must see TV when he’s within reach of victory. Going into Sunday he was just 2 strokes back and there was about 6 or 7 guys all within 3 strokes so it was going to be a battle. Add in the fact that they pushed everyone’s tee time up on Sunday because of an incoming storm and it was Tiger time before I even had my morning coffee. It was too early the perfect time to crack that first Sunday morning Bud Latte too.

Tiger looked like a man on a mission, but a couple of gimme putts he missed had me thinking he just wasn’t going to have enough in the tank.

The legend of Tiger has faded a bit in recent years, or so I thought. Less and less do we see guys just wilting under the mere presence of Tiger on their six. Well lucky for us the guy Tiger was chasing, Francesco Molinari, is exactly who he was paired up with on Sunday morning. So every time Francesco tee’d off, Tiger was staring a fucking hole in the guy’s back. And Molinari could *feel* that.

With a two stroke lead he started to melt when he put his first shot in the water on No. 12. Even Tiger’s caddy, Joe LaCava, was shocked:

LaCava said that Tiger was all business after Molinari, inexplicably, put his tee ball in Rae’s Creek. For LaCava, it wasn’t something he saw coming. Molinari, who’s so steady it’s borderline infuriating, wasn’t a player you’d peg as a candidate to drop a ball in the water on the back nine of a major.

“[Molinari]’s one of those guys, he’s not going to go away,” said Lacava. “I was a little surprised he hit it in there. I was thinking this is a perfect 8 iron for him, it’s probably a smash 9 iron for us. I actually thought he was going to hit not to two feet, but 15 feet left. I was very surprised. Things definitely changed.”

The cameras cut to Tiger and you can see his eyes come to life.

It’s like when Eminem gives the mic to Papa Doc in the final rap battle and he slowly realizes that Papa Doc just doesn’t have anything left.

After that it was a wrap. Tiger slowly but surely chipped away at Molinari’s lead before just having to two putt on 18 to win The Masters. No problem.

It was an incredible scene to watch and say what you will about his past transgressions, but I love a good comeback story. People thought his career was over, his back was in shambles and here he was putting for his fifth green jacket.

It means so much more to him these days too. I first saw it at the PGA Championship last year where he narrowly lost to Brooks Koepka and he walked off and hugged his kids and looked like he was about to cry, but in a good way. Like he was beaming with pride because all though he didn’t win, he was healthy, he played his balls off, and his kids saw it.

He was a fucking legend back in the day, a complete force of nature, but his kids were too young to see that. Tiger even said it in one of his interviews Sunday, for the longest time he was just “the YouTube golfer” to his kids. So for him to be dominant and winning majors in front of his kids who are now old enough to understand and appreciate what they’re seeing is a huge change for Tiger. And now the chase of Jack Nicklaus’ 18 majors is back on.

It wasn’t all gumdrops and rainbows though as the price of admission for me seeing Tiger return to his former glory was a shit ton of my own money. I had Brooks Koepka at +2,500 and Xander Schauffele as my longshot at +4,000 to win The Masters. Both of them finished ONE stroke behind Tiger. That hurt. Xander was a guy I bet on solely because of how confident my barber was in telling me to do so just a few weeks ago. So I thought well I’ll feel like a real schmuck if I ignore this divine intervention and Xander goes on to win. Welp, my guy was gunning for it late and missed a couple of putts, but would have at least gotten into a playoff or even won it outright if not for Tiger. Tiger picked a great day to pull a vintage performance out of his ass.

The 2019 Masters is Here – So What We Got?

CBSSports –  With an 87-man field featuring generational talent going head-to-head at Augusta National, rarely has such a call ever been more difficult.

All eyes are on Rory McIlroy this year as The Ulsterman looks to complete his career grand slam, but there’s some stiff competition throughout the field, namely from many of his young contemporaries like Dustin Johnson, Justin Thomas and Rickie Fowler. Of course, we would be remiss without mentioning Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson, both of whom are among a litany of names looking to add another green jacket to their respective collections.

That time of year again indeed. Golf’s most important and most blowhardy tournament kicks off in Augusta to see who wins the Green Jacket. You have the best of the world on the links, pimento cheese sandwiches, and Jim Nantz engaging in acts of self-oral copulation the likes of which the world has never seen before.

As a casual but steady golf fan I have to say this season has so far gone by….quietly. Normally by this time I am FIRED up for tournaments like this but this year I am barely getting into the swing of things (pun unintended). I think it is a mixture of 2019 sort of crawling along, the weather sucking, feting Red in Vegas sucking the soul out of me, and not having made it out onto the course myself that has made this season a bit more inconspicuous than normal.

The odds-on for this one, as I’ve listened and read the past week or so, is Rory McIlroy. He hasn’t finished outside of the top ten this year, or in the last few tournaments, or something and has always done exceptionally at Augusta historically. Although to a casual observer it may have seemed like Rory fell off the past couple of years, he actually has finished pretty well. I also think he was a bit banged up here and there whereas he now appears to be 100%.

Justin “The new breed of hating fun” Thomas is also a name to watch. He’s just been riding a hot hand for awhile now so you can never really count him out. Same goes for ‘Cesco Molinari who won the British last year and another big one earlier this year, I forget which.

In terms of dark horse names to watch, I’ll toss you a couple. Cameron Smith has seemingly come out of nowhere to be a pain in the ass in the past few tournaments. He’s faded down the stretch also but should start pretty hot. Old Eldrick Woods is definitely going to come out gunning although we’ll see for how long. A few other old names like Schwartzel, DJ, and Adam Scott could also make a run at this. And you can’t forget about the most talented receding hairline of all-time, Jordan Spieth.

So sit back, crack a beer, avoid any and all contact with Patrick Reed and his family, and enjoy. Let’s hope it’s a nail-biter to the end and we get some fun golf. Otherwise the tournament will be boring and we’ll never hear the end of Patty Blackout’s bitching.

See you out there.

-Joey B.

Whole Foods May Soon Let You Booze While You Go Grocery Shopping

WCVB –  Grocery shopping could become less boring in town. Representatives of Whole Foods rolled out a “shop while you drink” concept for its Sudbury store in the Meadow Walk development during a recent selectmen’s meeting.

The store hopes to have the coffee bar area serve beer and wine at certain hours. While there is seating there, the plan would allow customers to enjoy their beverages while shopping throughout the store as well, the MetroWest Daily News reported.

I absolutely *despise* grocery shopping. I will avoid it at all possible costs, which is probably why Grubhub gets more money from me than my 401K. I’ve legitimately product mapped ideas for apps to help you get in and out of the grocery store as quick as possible, but maybe thats just me. Maybe its a guy thing I don’t know, but if I can avoid the grocery store I do….until now.

Drinking makes everything better. To quote the legend that was Frank Sinatra,“I feel sorry for people that don’t drink because when they wake up in the morning, that is the best they’re going to feel all day.” A backyard and a grill is great, but add a few Bud Heavys and you got yourself a cookout. Golfing is fun, but its difficult and frustrating as shit at times. I’ve seen guys from this very blog smash their cell phone off a bench after a bad hole. Add in a case of cold ones? Best way to spend a Saturday afternoon regardless of how many balls you lose in the woods.

Now add drinking to grocery shopping? Shit I might call up the boys and tell em to meet me down at Whole Foods so we can cross something off the honey do list. Just mildly buzzed while shopping for Cocoa Pebbles, maybe sip some whiskey while browsing the different cuts of steak they have out. That just sounds delightful. Might have to start taking Ubers home from the grocery store though which presents a completely different budgeting conundrum. Come to think of it, this may be Amazon/Whole Foods’ play to take over not only the grocery store game, but the ride share game too. Goddamnit Bezos you brilliant bastard.

Despite Struggles from the Tee, Tiger Woods Just Missed Winning the PGA Championship Yesterday

With a huge run in the final round of the PGA Championship yesterday, Tiger Woods finished at -14, which was good for second place, two strokes behind the champ, Brooks Koepka. I keep finding myself saying, if only Tiger could have straightened out his driver he would have won the 100th PGA Championship yesterday. But thats really not the case. Sure he was putting himself in shitty positions all day, hitting exactly zero fairways on the front 9, but he also was hitting absolute circus shots all day to keep nailing birdie after birdie.

In fact the only thing he could have done differently was have a couple putts that rimmed out, fall his way. If those two drop then Tiger at the very worst forces a playoff with Koepka.

But, don’t try and tell Tiger that.

He had massive struggles from the tee all day and mental errors that the old Tiger never had. Old Tiger was ice. He was a robot.

This ain’t old Tiger. This is new Tiger.

An aging veteran, a golfer dealing with massive back injuries fending off young guys that grew up idolizing him. But thats what makes Tiger so much fun to watch these days. He’s human. There’s nothing I love more than a good comeback story.

So yea, I am rooting for him to put it all together. I think a lot of people are too. Watching the PGA Championship yesterday is probably the loudest I’ve ever heard a golf course. The place was electric and going wild like Happy Gilmore was strolling the greens.

So, despite failing to win another major, Tiger looked like a force at times and you can tell he’s still working out some kinks in his game. Its only a matter of time until he puts it all together and snatches another major. And it’s probably going to happen sooner rather than later.

So, I think its only appropriate here to quote the American classic John Wick:

P.S. – Hey Google, get your shit together. You know goddamn well I’m not looking for pictures of jungle cats.