Tag: It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia

The UFC’s Solution To Eye Pokes Just Might Be Kitten Mittens

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Image result for kitten mittens

Sherdog – Glove design has been a topic of controversy in the Ultimate Fighting Championship for years, with the organization’s current design receiving blame for the prevalence of inadvertent eye pokes….

……”That’s a real problem, man, and there is a solution in the works,” Rogan said. “I can’t talk about it. I’m sworn to secrecy. They have a better glove design that they’re working on right now. I’ve already said too much. I’m sworn to secrecy.”

So there is obviously a serious fight fan piece of this as well as a kind of humorous piece where they can’t seem to figure out how to stop adults in a fist fight from poking each other in the eyes.

The major first step they took fairly recently is having points deducted for extending the arm with the fingers open. I thought this was a great changing where it still allowed fighters to measure distance and keep an opponent at bay while not putting that same opponent at risk. The problem with that is that, like a lot of things that happens within the cage, it is up to the referee’s discretion and most if not all refs just don’t want to take points away from a fighter, which is understandable and to a point commendable. To that end something has to be done because eye pokes are still a gigantic issue that affect not only the immediate fight, but the income and near and long-term career of the fighter.

So what now? KITTEN MITTENS, THAT’S WHAT. The very same genius creation that allows evil felines to go about their business quietly are also pliable enough to allow for grappling while keeping the fingers closed and covered. The Diaz Brothers will be throwing the quietest Stockton Slaps ever when they get their hands into a pair of American-made kitten mittens.

In all seriousness a mitten-like design is what we are probably looking at, if not one that holds groups of fingers together like the Star Trek “v”. It’ll be interesting to see what they come up with.

-Joey B

Boston Traffic Tips for Thanksgiving are Here and They are USELESS

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Boston.com – If your Thanksgiving plans include traveling by car, you can expect to join millions of drivers on the road this year. AAA projects that 48.5 million people will drive to their Thanksgiving destination, a 4.8 percent increase over 2017…For Boston, that means some of the “largest delays” in the country at nearly four times what’s considered typical, a distinction Boston shares with New York City and San Francisco.

According to Boston.com this Thanksgiving has the potential to be the worst traffic you’ve ever dreamt of because its “the highest anticipated travel volume since 2005.” Expect delays at nearly 4x whats considered typical! It takes me an hour to get home from work on a normal day and I live 10 miles from my office. Oh this should be fun.

The worst times to travel by car are during the early evening commuting hours, AAA officials said…For those taking I-90/the Massachusetts Turnpike, traffic in Newton was at its worst between 7 a.m. and 5 p.m. on the Tuesday before the holiday and the same times the Monday afterward

Soo basically any time you could possibly be in your car is a bad time to be on the road. Got it.

For those who don’t mind getting up early, Google thinks 3 a.m. Wednesday is the best time to travel prior to the holiday, while 4 a.m. on Sunday is the best time afterward.

Imagine the balls on Google to suggest that you get up at 3 in the morning just to beat traffic? Get to your Aunt Suzie’s house at 7 am so you’ve only got like 5 hours to kill until kickoff when it becomes socially acceptable to start boozing. Pass. I’d rather just verbally assault people in traffic on the way.

Google, which put out traffic predictions for the country’s major cities, predicts the worst time to travel around Boston before the holiday is 3 p.m. Wednesday.

For anyone who plans to put in an honest day’s work on Wednesday before taking off a little early for some pre-Thanksgiving cocktails, you’ll get hosed the worst. This is essentially a permission slip from Google to just bang out of work on Wednesday.

MassDOT will pause road construction at noon on Wednesday, Nov. 21, but officials will also evaluate conditions on Tuesday, Nov. 20, and “make adjustments” to any project schedules based on traffic

And to top it all off, MassDot even promises to stop making driving in Boston the most inconvenient activity of all time…until they decide otherwise. MassDOT reserves the right to change their mind here with a vague, but deliberate middle finger to anyone trying to get in the way of those union overtime hours.

Basically just don’t leave your house at any time on any day to avoid the worst traffic in the whole goddamn country. Subway sells turkey sandwiches too ya know.

David Price Doing His Best to Deter Free Agents from Signing With the Red Sox

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ESPN –  J.D. Martinez had no shortage of information to consider before agreeing Monday evening to sign with the Boston Red Sox. But ace David Price tried to make the slugger’s decision a little bit easier. “I’ve talked to him a couple of times,” Price said recently. “I told him we’d love to have him here.” Price, Martinez’s teammate with the Detroit Tigers in 2014-15, elaborated in an interview with USA Today Sports that was published Tuesday. “I told J.D. he will love the guys here in this clubhouse, but also told him he’ll get booed,” Price told the newspaper. “He’s a quiet, soft-spoken guy, but he’ll handle it. Besides, everyone gets booed. I heard Big Papi get booed many times in Fenway.”

Jesus christ this guy just can’t get out of his own way. Just lie to us. Just lie. Don’t tell me that you told a Free Agent Boston is a great place to play, but then follow that up IMMEDIATELY by saying its a negative shit hole and all the fans will boo you and are mean on Twitter.

“It’s tough here,” is how Price described his first two seasons in a Red Sox uniform, according to USA Today’s Bob Nightengale. “There’s just so much more negativity.”

And whats all this about booing David Ortiz? Many times? I mean maybe some fans did in 2009 (the only year from 2004-2013 he didn’t make the All-Star team) when he hit .238? That was also a cool 7 years before Price played for the Red Sox. Did fans boo Big Papi many times in the one season they played together in 2016? Ya know the year Ortiz hit .315 with 48 Home Runs and 127 RBI’s on his retirement tour? The year he had a 1.021 OPS, the 4th best of his entire 20 year career?

I call Kangaroo Court.

But, I digress. If anything, this tells you what JD Martinez thinks of David Price’s opinion. Oh its a miserable, negative shit hole? I’m in.

Meanwhile we have Rick Porcello going the complete opposite direction in his assessment of Boston when asked by Martinez:

“It’s honestly a pleasure playing in Boston,” he explained. “Yeah, there are tough times if you’re not playing well. You’re going to hear about it. But what’s wrong with that? Who doesn’t want to hear about it? Because when you are playing well, it feels like you’ve got the entire world behind you, and that’s all you can ask for as a player. That’s fair.”

Little tidbits like this make me wonder just how divided this Red Sox clubhouse really is. You have guys like Porcello and Chris Sale talking about how they love the pressure and accountability of Boston, which is the antithesis of Price who bitches about everything every chance he gets. I wonder if one of the veterans is going to, if they haven’t already, tell Price to just STFU.

Before the negative attitude infects all of the good young players on this team and they think its natural, encouraged even, to piss and moan to the media every time Dan Shaugnessy writes a mean word about you.

This is what guys like Price say they understand, but they don’t really get it. If you 1.) play hard and 2.) perform well you’ll be scotch. Hell even if you can’t do #2 but you still do #1 then you’re good in my book. Trot Nixon is a goddamn legend in this town. People to this day still lovingly refer to him as a dirt dog. The guy with a .274 career batting average and 137 Home Runs. That guy is revered around here because he played his balls off every day.

I’m not saying you can’t complain or you can’t get mad because that’s only human, but channel that negative energy man. Use it. Get pissed off. Pitch well for an entire season. But don’t cash those $31 Million checks every year while whining about every little perceived slight every single time there’s a mic in your face. And definitely do not tell prospective Free Agent signings that they will get booed by the fans if they sign here. Christ.