Boston Traffic Tips for Thanksgiving are Here and They are USELESS – If your Thanksgiving plans include traveling by car, you can expect to join millions of drivers on the road this year. AAA projects that 48.5 million people will drive to their Thanksgiving destination, a 4.8 percent increase over 2017…For Boston, that means some of the “largest delays” in the country at nearly four times what’s considered typical, a distinction Boston shares with New York City and San Francisco.

According to this Thanksgiving has the potential to be the worst traffic you’ve ever dreamt of because its “the highest anticipated travel volume since 2005.” Expect delays at nearly 4x whats considered typical! It takes me an hour to get home from work on a normal day and I live 10 miles from my office. Oh this should be fun.

The worst times to travel by car are during the early evening commuting hours, AAA officials said…For those taking I-90/the Massachusetts Turnpike, traffic in Newton was at its worst between 7 a.m. and 5 p.m. on the Tuesday before the holiday and the same times the Monday afterward

Soo basically any time you could possibly be in your car is a bad time to be on the road. Got it.

For those who don’t mind getting up early, Google thinks 3 a.m. Wednesday is the best time to travel prior to the holiday, while 4 a.m. on Sunday is the best time afterward.

Imagine the balls on Google to suggest that you get up at 3 in the morning just to beat traffic? Get to your Aunt Suzie’s house at 7 am so you’ve only got like 5 hours to kill until kickoff when it becomes socially acceptable to start boozing. Pass. I’d rather just verbally assault people in traffic on the way.

Google, which put out traffic predictions for the country’s major cities, predicts the worst time to travel around Boston before the holiday is 3 p.m. Wednesday.

For anyone who plans to put in an honest day’s work on Wednesday before taking off a little early for some pre-Thanksgiving cocktails, you’ll get hosed the worst. This is essentially a permission slip from Google to just bang out of work on Wednesday.

MassDOT will pause road construction at noon on Wednesday, Nov. 21, but officials will also evaluate conditions on Tuesday, Nov. 20, and “make adjustments” to any project schedules based on traffic

And to top it all off, MassDot even promises to stop making driving in Boston the most inconvenient activity of all time…until they decide otherwise. MassDOT reserves the right to change their mind here with a vague, but deliberate middle finger to anyone trying to get in the way of those union overtime hours.

Basically just don’t leave your house at any time on any day to avoid the worst traffic in the whole goddamn country. Subway sells turkey sandwiches too ya know.

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