There’s a lot going on in the world of #sports and #entertainment that we can discuss here for #content but that I can’t really draw out into a full blog. So let’s fuck around and touch a lot of bases, shall we?
-A few really interesting fights have been announced lately that I never blogged (woooops).
Nate Diaz returns to fight Anthony Pettis at UFC 241 in August. Hooo baby. That is going to be something. They’ll duel at 170lbs, where Pettis recently arrived and found success, knocking out Stephen Thompson. I’d prefer to see Diaz stick to 155 as his run wayyyy back in the day at 170 didn’t go so well and he simply lacks the strength and power to deal with the bigger and stronger fighters of the welterweight division. On top of that, I still think both are contenders at 155 when they have their heads on straight. And when Nate, you know, fights. As for the match up, if Diaz can set an early pace moving forward, Pettis will likely wilt moving backward as he always has. Likewise if “Showtime” can find a rhythm with his kicks and movement early, it could be a long night for Nate. An x-factor could be if Diaz calls on what happened in his first fight with Conor McGregor and gets the fight to the ground. Pettis is no slouch in the submission department but he’s not a 209 black belt.
Secondly, it would appear Khabib and Dustin Poirier are going to unify the 155lb strap at UFC 242 in Dubai. The card would kick off at 2:00pm EST so it is a PRIME day drinking event. Khabib, in my opinion, is going to maul anyone he faces but at this point in his career you can never count Poirier out, so looking forward to this one.
-Let’s leave MMA town now. I posted something to Facespace about this last night but I’ll leave it here as well. “Game Of Thrones” is the best TV of our lifetime. A true spectacle and something that if I was a douchie Hollywood-type I’d refer to as an achievement. So just because this season hasn’t gone according to YOUR plan and just because there are plot holes that YOU don’t like because they need to wrap the show up, it doesn’t change the fact that there won’t be anything like this ever again and it is still fantastic. It also doesn’t make you cool to publicly scream that opinion off a rooftop.
(O and if you’re trying to turn Khaleesi’s rampage into some sort of anti-feminist slight, please seek some fucking help. Where were you when Cersei did the same fuckin thing?)
-Red and I, once accompanied by Papa G, have kicked off the 2019 golf season, thus far with mixed results. Papa G actually hit the longest tee ball these eyes have ever seen. Not in any sort of productive direction but man I’ll tell ya, it was a bomb. I actually could see all of us making a little leap in ability this year if we keep playing consistently. Either way nice to be out there considering it’s usually been 45 and rainy for the past three months.
–Mattes wrote a great blog on the Jamie Collins signing so go there for a full breakdown. My only divergence from what he wrote is that I’m seeing a few #footballguys note that data points to Van Noy being more productive in our defense than Collins was. Collins just had more flashy plays and pure, visual athleticism. Still, I still love the signing and whenever you can sign a Jamie Collins it is going to make your defense better. As a matter of fact I think the Pats’ LB corps is now sneaky-stacked with Collins, Van Noy, Hightower, forgotten stud Ja’Whaun Bentley, and Roberts.
-I posed this to Red yesterday and I don’t think he’s feeling it but it wouldn’t be the end of the world if the B’s didn’t sweep tonight because they’ve been the only reason I’ve been leaving my house on Saturdays. Having to regress to going out and then socialize would be miserable at this point. So as much as I’m rooting for a B’s victory, it wouldn’t crush me if they didn’t get it.
-The Celtics find themselves in the lottery despite getting to the second round this year. Shouts to Danny Ainge for being able to get us picks but not banners. Pretty cool bud. Anyway there will be a few guys floating around at 14 we could snag and I’m sure someone here will get into it in depth. Looking at the board KZ Okpala from Stanford has an ever improving shot at 6’8 and, if he falls into our lap, Rui Hachimura (Zags) would bring a great skill-set into our locker room and through the season before we bow out before the ECF again.
-I guess some survey came out and the Boston accent won sexiest in America. I’ve lived here 99.9% of my life (2 short stints in Jersey) and I can honestly tell you that if someone comes at me with a hard Boston accent I assume they can’t read. To be honest I think it’s because a lot of people my age fake it to sound hard and if you fake an accent to sound cool or hard you probably are indeed illiterate. Bad beat.
-Lastly, John Wick 3 comes out soon/came out (I don’t fuckin know bro) and LET’SSSS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I’m a noted avoider of most pure action, boom boom bang pow movies but I love John Wick. It’s Keanu as Bourne pretty much. What’s not to like?
I’ll be introducing a new weekly/bi-weekly feature tomorrow that I’ve had brewing for awhile so we’ll see how that goes. We only have a couple more until the weekend, folks.
Obvious Spoiler Alert: If you haven’t caught up on Season 8 of Thrones yet come back later.
Oh man that episode was a doozie and the meme makers of the internet did NOT disappoint. So lets get right into the best of the best. The 300s Game of Thrones Meme of the Week Award goes to the one below because it was my exact reaction when watching the same scene.
And while I think some of the criticism has been more than fair, the internet is reallyyy dumping on Benioff and Weiss so here are a few aimed at the showrunners in particular.
Obvious Spoiler Alert: If you haven’t caught up on Season 8 of Thrones yet come back later.
The Mad Queen has arrived. The penultimate episode of Game of Thrones final season kept the promise that so many seasons before it had; delivering the biggest blow right before the finale. An absolute spectacle for the ages as Khaleesi turns full heel and embraces the role of The Mad Queen as she literally burned Kings Landing to the ground. I was leaning forward in my chair in suspense for about 40 minutes straight. What started out as violent efficiency by Khaleesi turned into legitimate terrorism as the Dragon Queen became the very thing she vowed not to be; a tyrant. How did we get here?
“Alright then, let it be fear,” Daenerys says to Jon Snow after he rejects her affection on Dragonstone.
This is a central theme that the last Targaryen has struggled with for years, but most explicitly in Season 8. She has continuously walked the line of being the beloved savior, freeing slaves, being the voice for those without a voice, and taking what she wants simply because she can. With great power comes great responsibility and after seven seasons of Khaleesi balancing that responsibility while she became only more powerful, she ultimately decides to throw it all away in the name of rage and revenge.
“I don’t think she decided ahead of time that she was going to do what she did. And then she sees the Red Keep, which is, to her, the home that her family built when they first came over to this country 300 years ago,” showrunner DB Weiss said on the Inside the Episode. “It’s in that moment on the walls of King’s Landing, when she’s looking at that symbol of everything that was taken from her, when she makes the decision to make this personal.”
The sped up arrival of Daenerys unhinged has been a bit too convenient for my liking, but the show has been hinting at this for years.
“I’m not my father,” Dany says to Ser Barristan in S5E2 to which Barristan replies: “The Mad King gave his enemies the justice he thought they deserved and each time it made him feel powerful and right. Until the very end.”
All of Dany’s closest friends and most trusted confidants are all gone. She’s too strong for Jon Snow, as Varys puts it, and Tyrion has lost her trust after repeated lapses in judgment. Barristan, Jorah, and Missandei were the only three people who were ever really able to temper Dany’s worst impulses. And all three are dead.
“I am not here to be Queen of the ashes,” Dany says in S7E2 to her small council when discussing the best way to take Kings Landing.
Oh and lets not forget about these gems from Season 2.
To quote another pop culture behemoth in Avengers: Endgame: Khaleesi “did exactly what she said she was going to do.”
My only complaint with this storyline is the same critique I’ve had about this entire season; the pacing. In a matter of 5 episodes Daenerys has gone from the savior of Westeros, the liberator from tyrants, and the beloved Khaleesi to the Mad Queen? She has suffered some tragic losses in Jorah, Missandei, and her two dragons, but to use that as justification for destroying an entire city and burning thousands of innocent citizens alive is a pretty big leap.
With that being said, George RR Martin’s books have become absolute must reads just to see how the godfather handles the same storylines.
Whats even more shocking is how Khaleesi has turned into the type of person she hated the most (arrogant, entitled, and cruel) just like….her late brother Viserys Targaryen. She has been shattered by her inability to gain the love and support of Westeros, despite quite literally saving the country from death. To her dismay, it is Jon Snow whom the people still love and champion. It is a stunning parallel with Viserys as Khaleesi has become just like her brother (who was killed for those same qualities).
Every time a Targaryen is born the gods flip a coin. Well it seems like the coin landed on the wrong side.
— Robert of House Glasgow (@therobkabob) May 13, 2019
One of the most incredible scenes in the episode and really the series was Khaleesi finally unleashing her dragon’s power to take out her enemies singlehandedly. It was glorious to see, if not a little inconsistent. Khaleesi *easily* takes out a hundred ships and just as many Scorpions after losing a dragon to just one of those pesky jumbo crossbows in the previous episode.
I understand she was taken by surprise somehow (she forgot about the Iron Fleet according to the showrunners…) in Episode 4, but thats just not great writing. Too often the end has dictated the circumstances required to get there, which has become a problem primarily since the show has passed the books. Without Martin’s elaborate game plan to lead the way, Benioff and Weiss have had to piece key events together with various plot devices. Just imagine the damage she could have done with 2 if not 3 dragons?
One of the deeper cuts were the various Wildfire explosions going off throughout the city as Khaleesi lit up Kings Landing. Aerys Targaryen’s old Wildfire stash was still buried underneath the city, going off like fireworks in the trunk of your car that you forgot about.
Again, we’ve been building to this for quite some time. Go back to Khaleesi’s vision she saw in Season 2 in Quarth at the House of the Undying because this is incredible foreshadowing, intentional or not.
Winter never came for King’s Landing, but Khaleesi did.
Sansa Was Right
Something I’ve been saying for a while now is what if Sansa wasn’t just being a distrustful or jealous sister? What I wrote last week:
“Sansa just does not trust Khaleesi and maybe she sees something that everyone else is blind to because they either love Khaleesi, they admire her, or they fear her. Sansa has none of those emotions towards the Dragon Queen so maybe its more than just being spiteful; maybe she really doesn’t believe she’ll be a good ruler…So maybe we need to start treating her disdain for Khaleesi as more than just unnecessary drama.”
What if she truly saw something in the Dragon Queen that unsettled her? Sansa is arguably the best politician in all of Westeros. Trained by Littlefinger, she survived Joffrey, Cersei, and Ramsay Bolton all while uniting the north and saving Jon at the Battle of the Bastards with the Knights of the Vale. She was often referred to as the key to the north to boot. Well after “The Bells” it sure seems like Sansa had Dany pegged from day one.
RIP to Varys
Varys, as always, was the only one that saw the big picture. He could see Khaleesi losing her grasp on reality/sanity/decency and tried to get ahead of it, but nobody wanted to listen. They all saw the same signs, but everyone was blinded for their own reasons. Tyrion is the Hand of the Queen, and Jon Snow loved her but more importantly he swore himself and the North to her (that damn Stark nobility). Varys cared only for the Realm aka the common people and Varys knew the people were screwed.
Ring the Bells
The aptly titled episode refers to the bells that ring in Kings Landing when the city has surrendered. It means the war has been won. Well when Tyrion repeatedly says they need to stop the attack if they hear the bells ringing I became suspicious. Would Khaleesi think that maybe the bells are a trap of sorts by Cersei? Not really. Actually she just didn’t care and merely used the bells as the soundtrack to her rampage.
Thrones offered zero character development for these guys and now we know why. They didn’t even make it out of the locker room before Khaleesi came out of the goddamn walls to blow them away.
The Cleganebowl
It would be hard to do justice to anything that fans have been clamoring for after 7+ seasons. While I don’t think this was the amazing sword battle we all expected, it was visually stunning. The shot of the two brothers fighting on a crumbling stair case in the Red Keep as Drogon flies behind them burning the city to the ground was incredible.
This battle royale also showed just how indestructible The Mountain really was, something thats been apparent since his resurrection, but never really deeply explored. Not to quote the Avengers too many times in this Thrones blog, but Sandor my man:
The Hound saving Arya’s life by talking her out of a suicide mission for vengeance was a rare emotional moment for this character. Arya’s the only one he’s ever really had any affection for and vice versa so he’s the only one that can snap her out of it and send her away.
Arya
Arya has repeatedly said “I’m going to kill the queen.” About halfway through that episode I realized she’s rarely said I’m going to kill Cersei; only “the queen” specifically. Well, once Arya got caught in that hell fire and saw more and more innocents getting scorched it became pretty clear to me that Arya was always going to kill the queen, maybe just not the one she thought.
Fine, you want more foreshadowing?
And I looked, and behold a pale horse
and his name that sat on him was Death
— Drake France Jaculina (@DrakeJaculina) May 13, 2019
Khaleesi:
Don’t be surprised when Benioff and Weiss tell composer Ramin Djawadi to take a few plays off in order to let Arya do her work with Coldplay playing in the background.
Something that has been in my opinion shockingly underutilized is Arya’s game of faces. We literally spent multiple seasons learning about this and how deadly the faceless men are. Arya has become one of the most lethal killers in Westeros and did take out the entire Frey House, but since then we’ve seen zero use of this pretty rare talent. Will we finally see Arya break it out in the series finale? Could she kill someone like Grey Worm in order to take his face and get close enough to the Queen? We’ll see, but this is another thread that seems to have been forgotten if not.
Starks Run Deep
Also, I’m not sure if this is intentional or not, but Jon and Arya have literally become the same person. It’s like that Progressive Insurance commercial about becoming your parents. The long hair with the top knot, the long leather outfit; they’ve all become Ned Stark.
Cersei and Jaime
I’ve seen a lot of hate on Twitter about the way they handled Cersei’s death, but it did a pretty good job of humanizing one of the most evil characters in the show in just a couple of scenes. Again, pacing of the character arc was poor, but what did people want? For Cersei to stand on the roof and give one last defiant speech before getting lit up by Drogon?
At the end, Cersei sounded a lot like Janos Slynt at the Battle of Castle Black. Someone who is in way over their head and trying to convince themselves that the inevitable is not actually coming as they mindlessly babble in the face of certain death
Another pacing issues though is how they handled Jaime’s last two episodes and his ultimate death. I think we all knew Jaime would either die trying to save Cersei or trying to stop her, but to introduce the entire Brienne love storyline, the immediate reversal, his capture and release by Tyrion, followed by his frantic effort to get to Cersei was the definition of rushed.
How does the King in the North handle Khaleesi now? Cersei blew up the sept and killed a couple hundred people and we were all shocked; Khaleesi just burned down the entire god damn city. He can’t openly challenge her because of the aforementioned dragon, the Unsullied and the Dothraki, who seem pretty jazzed up about destroying said city. It seems like marriage is probably off the table as well. So its going to take quite the coup to unseat Dany from the Iron Throne at this point. Even if Arya or someone is able to kill the Dragon Queen, this could devolve into a bloody and meaningless civil war real quick.
Bran
We are now down 80 minutes away from Bran becoming the No. 1 in Red’s Power Rankings of Most Useless Characters of All Time. He has said that he’s not really Bran anymore and that he doesn’t want anymore, but did we really build this guy up for 7 seasons just to have him be the know it all grandpa in the corner?
I can’t believe we are now just 6 days away from the last episode in Game of Thrones history. I am shook. I will be an emotional wreck next weekend so don’t take it personally when I ghost any and all forms of communication. How does this all end? Will Khaleesi rule unopposed with fire and blood? Will the North finally overthrow the rulers in Kings Landing? Could Jon Snow aka Aegon Targaryen possibly take Drogon for himself? Will Jon finally change the narrative about Stark men in the capital? So many questions so little time.
As we all know though, when you play the Game of Thrones, you either win or you die.
Obvious Spoiler Alert: If you haven’t caught up on Season 8 of Thrones yet come back later.
Game of Thrones memes have always been around as they have for any pop culture sensation, but I feel like they have gone into overdrive for Season 8. Every week there seems to be 50 new and hilarious memes for each episode. So I figured it was only right to launch The 300s Game of Thrones Meme of the Week Award.
The winning meme for Episode 4 has to go to the one below because it once again preys upon my simple brain’s love for combining pop culture icons.
Obvious Spoiler Alert: If you haven’t caught up on Season 8 of Thrones yet come back later.
In what was one of the most anticipated episodes in TV history, Game of Thrones finally unveiled the “Longest Consecutive Battle Sequence Ever Committed to Film” with S8E3 “The Long Night” AKA The Battle of Winterfell. Similar to Season 6’s “Battle of the Bastards,” this was a military operation through and through. (This episode was directed by Miguel Sapochnik, who also directed “Hardhome” and “Battle of the Bastards”)We got less of individual heroics and more of armies legitimately going to war with hordes of people and wights (temporarily at least) getting slaughtered. It was violent, it was dark, and it was hectic. I’ve heard some complaints about this episode and to be completely honest I need to rewatch it to fully digest everything that happened in the episode’s 82 minutes. Needless to say the internet is divided; the NY Times says the episode “exceeded expectations” while USA Today complained about the cinematography calling it “too dark.”
It was the longest episode in Thrones history and it was packed with action so my feelings below are subject to change after I’ve had a little more time to sit with it. With that being said, lets break down the biggest storylines from S8E3:
For the Night is Dark and Full of Terrors. Mainly Dark Though.
I’m not going to spend too much time on this because I understand it was done intentionally for affect, but one of the first things I said at the start of the episode was this is difficult to see. And that was while I was watching from an almost completely dark room. So I get the thinking, but thank christ for the dragons and Melisandre adding some light to this episode or I wouldn’t be sure what actually happened.
House Mormont Goes Up in Dust
Lyanna Mormont goes out like a G and takes down a wight giant while weighing all of 95 pounds. She really did prove that “every man from Bear Island fights with the strength of ten mainlanders.” RIP Lyanna.
I do have a bone to pick with the way we handled my man Jorah Mormont’s last moments though. We all knew Jorah was not long for this world. He is the archetype of the aging knight who will die to protect his queen. The musical montage of Jorah fighting off wights left me wanting more though. Maybe its because I just wasn’t ready to say goodbye to Jorah. Maybe its because I am dead inside after having just watched Avengers Endgame right before this episode, but it seemed to be lacking. Maybe a line or two of heartfelt dialogue would have tied things up a bit more for me. RIP to Jorah Mormont one of the realest to ever take the screen and a character we’ll all remember forever.
The Dragon Battle in the Clouds?
This was tough to follow, but for people complaining about it; thats the point. It was supposed to be disorienting, hard to see, and anxiety inducing. If the Night King is just flying around in plain sight then 2 dragons>1 dragon every day of the week, so it shouldn’t be a surprise he was trying to level the playing field with outside factors. With that being said it was definitely tough to follow and at the end of the scene I wasn’t entirely sure what had just transpired, but dragon on dragon action is always sweet. For having a dragon for about a week, the Night King knew how to fly that thing 100x better than the Dragon Queen though and thats a fact.
Fire Cannot Kill a Dragon (or the Night King)
As I predicted in my recap of Episode 2 last week, we saw that the fire of a dragon cannot kill a White Walker. In fact it can’t do shit to them, at least not to the Night King who took a flamethrowing Dracarys blast to the face and came out grinning. It was really quite jarring and one of the most underrated scenes of the episode, one that I think people are forgetting. Thats exactly why I am telling people to back and watch this episode a second time before deciding whether you loved or hated it.
Khaleesi used dragon fire. Its not very effective.
Valyrian Steel though?
The Night King Gets Got
As my fellow blogger Giorgio put it; “8 seasons for the Night King to make it to the Westeros equivalent of Nashua.” Dude didn’t even sniff the Iron Throne.
Credit to @BuckeyeMike23
Apologies to everyone who bought the Night King Iron Throne pop figures already.
Arya has now solidified her role as the MVP of Game of Thrones. She had a slow season as the show meandered a bit with her story arc in Bravos, but it paid off big time. She has become THE most lethal character in Thrones history. She legitimately snuck up on a gaggle of White Walkers and almost knifed the Night King before he could even turn around. In what looked like yet another suicide mission, turned into one of the most stunning moments in recent Thrones history when she dropped her dagger and stabbed the Night King in effortless fashion. Arya has been working on this move for years and in fact is a direct call back to her sparring session with Brienne of Tarth in Season 7.
Incredible scene. We’ll get to what this all means for the overarching story in a moment, but holy hell Arya has skyrocketed up the Thrones Power Rankings.
Jon Snow Nearly Meets His End Again
I have to give props to the Night King for not falling to pride like we’ve seen Jon Snow and the realms of men do time and time again. Pride is a sin of men so it made sense for him to make the cold, calculated decision to rise the dead yet again rather than try and take on the greatest warrior in the Seven Kingdoms in a sword fight dick measuring contest.
Jon also nearly gets lit up by the Ice Dragon and essentially decides to give himself up and go out in a blaze of blue firey glory.
And what do we say to death?
Jon the last 3 seasons: Please be today. I’m begging you to make it today. Why isn’t it today? I really want it to be today. pic.twitter.com/FLGNgp3Aoa
— Beyonce has an uncle named Larry Beyince. Bruh…. (@DragonflyJonez) April 29, 2019
For a second I thought we might see Jon Targaryen showing his immunity to fire like a true Targaryen, but the Mrs. pointed out something critical. Way back in Season 1 when Jon saves Lord Commander Mormont from the wight, he grabs the lantern and burns his hand before throwing it at the undead creature.
A direct contrast to when Khaleesi, a full blooded Targaryen, grabs the dragon eggs off the hot coals and is uninjured.
WTF Was Bran Doing?
I understand that he is a cripple in a wheelchair so theres not much he can really do in terms of fighting, but he was particularly useless in this episode. Bran spends 45 minutes basically just worging around Winterfell to get a bird’s eye view of the action, while offering nothing in terms of actual help to anyone. I feel like there is something more still lingering in terms of what Bran is there to offer the story, but I can’t put my finger on it. At least we can dispense with the moronic “Bran is the Night King” theories finally. Right?
Melisandre and Beric Dondarrion Fulfill Their Purpose for the Lord of Light
In what was one of the most intriguing storylines in show history, the red priestess fully redeemed herself with a comeback for the ages saving the day with some incredible fire spells. You have to believe that Melisandre went back to Essos specifically to train at the temple of the Lord of Light. Now that she has fulfilled her purpose and died “in this strange country” we’ll probably never get a clear answer. Melissandra coming out of left field to light up the Dothraki’s swords and then the spiked trenches was an all time Thrones moment though. Thats before we even mention the pep talk for the ages that she gave Arya though.
I won’t insult anyone’s intelligence by pointing out the source of Melisandre’s quote about death though. If you have to ask you don’t deserve to know. It really is crazy to look back on Melisandre’s storyline though; she’s been with Stannis, and of course when she first meant Arya back in Season 2 with the Brotherhood Without Banners.
Incredible.
Then we have Beric fulfilling his destiny and saving Arya’s life which obviously allows her to take out the Night King. It was some sick poetic justice though as Beric has been asked multiple times why the Lord of Light keeps bringing him back and he always answers, I don’t know. So for him to sacrifice himself to save Arya while on his 7th life was a valiant and fulfilling way for Beric to go.
Sam Gets Another Brother of the Nights Watch Killed in Edd
Jesus christ, Sam. Tarly better have another redeeming moment because he ignored everyone’s advice to stay off the battle field and when he couldn’t fight and need to be saved, which we all knew he would, Edd gets a knife in the face for saving Samwell yet again.
Khaleesi Gets Another Dragon Killed
Correction: The dragon is not dead, he can actually be seen in the preview for S8E4, which I missed in my post Avengers/post Thrones delirium. Carry on.
Khaleesi has to be the worst caretaker of Dragons to ever walk the Seven Kingdoms. And thats saying something considering her ancestors used to chain dragons up until they wasted away. What did she think was going to happen landing the dragon in a field of mindless, savage zombies? Well exactly what we all expected did happen and Khaleesi is down another dragon leaving her with only one. I think I get more emotional when a dragon or direwolf dies than any other human character does, but then again I am a total schill for animals.
RIP Theon
Theon goes out with honor and pays the iron price once and for all. Protecting Bran in the godswood was a suicide mission and everyone knew it. Kudos to Bran for having his first human moment in 2+ seasons and telling Theon the only thing he’s wanted to hear since he confided in Maester Luwin while wracked with guilt after taking Winterfell; “You’re a good person.” He killed dozens of wights to protect Bran while he worged around to essentially watch the action with a bird’s eye view and offer little in the way of actual help. After a lot of really cowardly moments over the past few seasons, Theon went out like a warrior trying to take down the Night King himself.
On the Lookout for the Fake Out
Maybe I’ve just become too used to the George RR Martin misdirection shock and awe storylines, but I refuse to believe this is the end of the story. I know the showrunners David Benioff and DB Weiss have veered off from Martin’s original source material a bit as they have passed the books, but he obviously has still given them the roadmap of how to get to his intended ending. So I just refuse to believe we’ve built up the Night King for 8 years only to have them go out just before the end of the story only to leave us with a battle for the crown. Maybe that was his goal the entire time? To truly have it all come back to a literal Game of Thrones? I don’t know, but I said it last week and I’ll say it again, if they kill the Night King and the remaining episodes are just a battle for the Iron Throne I will be a bit disappointed. Theres plenty of story left to wrap up still, but it seems like a missed opportunity not to mention a world of confusion to just let the White Walker storyline fade into dust like a Thanos snap. So I am on full alert on the lookout for the fake out. Whether it’s something as it relates to Bran, maybe the Children of the Forest make a comeback or maybe it’s not the last we’ve seen of the White Walkers. We’ll see next week, but its getting real now…theres only three Game of Thrones episodes left. Ever.
IGN – The wording there is interesting. EW says the episode will “be” the longest battle sequence, not “include” it, which implies the battle will take up the entirety of its runtime. With some episodes this season expected to run up to 90 minutes long, that could be very considerable.
Besides being the greatest TV show of all time, Game of Thrones features the most technically complex battles scene that have a bigger scale than anything we’ve ever seen in the history of entertainment. Last season ended with the White Walkers waltzing through the Wall with a brand new ice dragon marching south. Meanwhile Khaleesi is on her way up to Winterfell so I would not be surprised if we see some massive action in the first episode. Things are going to get real messy real fast and I don’t know if I’m ready for it emotionally.
In the meantime lets take a look back at some of the biggest battles we’ve seen so far.
The Battle of Blackwater Bay
S2E9 is when we were introduced to just how intelligent Tyrion really is and we also learn that Wildfire isn’t just some garbage potion that wannabe wizards used to play with.
Battle of the Bastards
S6E9 is where Jon Snow became the GOAT and we witnessed the largest live action battle scene of all time. Suffocating, tense, and heartbreaking; the Battle of the Bastards always gets my blood flowing. Plus that sonofabitch Ramsay finally gets what he’s had coming to him for 4 seasons.
Hardhome
S5E8 is a truly terrifying episode where we finally fully realize the scope of what the White Walkers can do and how screwed Jon Snow and company all really are.
The Loot Train
S7E4 is where Dany shows everyone why the Targaryen’s ruled the world with nothing but a few dragons.
The Battle of Castle Black
S4E9 is just another beautifully coreographed sequence of events. Multiple fights at once, arrows flying all around, fires burning, and Olly…that sonofabitch Olly.
We’re just a little over a month away from the Season 8 premiere, so if you’re like me and woefully behind on your Thrones rewatch it’s time to get in gear.
In what has become an annual showcase for Game of Thrones, HBO proved once again the penultimate episode of each season is the one you don’t want to miss with last night’s “Beyond the Wall.” Every year the second to last episode of each season is an absolute gem. Here’s a quick refresher on how GOT never waits around until the finale to drop some bombs. Each season’s penultimate episode:
Season 1: “Baelor” (Ned Stark loses his head and Khal Drogo falls ill)
Season 2: “Blackwater” (Still arguably the best episode in the series as Stannis attacks Kings Landing on Blackwater Bay only to be defeted by Tyrion and co.
Season 3: “Rains of Castermere” (The goddamn Red Wedding, which IMDB synopsis describes as ‘Robb and Catelyn arrive at the Twins for the wedding’ in a horribly misleading fashion.)
Season 4: “The Watchers on the Wall” (Jon Snow and the Night’s Watch defend the Wall against Mance Rayder and the wildlings.)
Season 5: “The Dance of Dragons” (Stannis roasts his daughter, Jon Snow brings the wildlings through the Wall, Khaleesi rides Drogon to safety out of the Mereen fighting pits.)
Season 6: “Battle of the Bastards” (Not much to say here other than this could also be arguably the greatest GOT episode ever.)
The show picks up right where we left off last week with Magnificent Seven venturing beyond the wall.
Jon Snow and Jorah have a heart to heart for the first time and its a refreshing moment of growth. Remember Jorah should rightfully hate Jon Snow. Jon’s father Ned labeled Jorah a traitor and essentially forced him to leave his family and his homeland forever. Jon also effectively became Jeor Mormont’s surrogate son whom he passed Longclaw down to after the shame Jorah brought to House Mormont. To top it all off, no Jon’s moving in on his girl Khaleesi. But Jorah doesn’t hate Jon. He respects him for everything he’s accomplished, including earning his father’s respect and earning Longclaw, regardless of what his name is.
In an instance of foreshadowing we see the first animal wight in the form of a zombie polar bear. “Do bears have blue eyes?” one of the Magnificent Seven asks before it all goes down. Thoros of Myr ends up getting ragdolled by a goddamn zombie bear and a few nameless wildlings got axed too. We also learn that The Hound is going to have a hard time serving the Lord of Light and fighting wights since the one thing that kills them most effectively (ya know, fire) paralyzes him with fear.
The group heads further north until The Hound sees the same thing he saw in his vision in the fire, a mountain shaped like an arrowhead. Not long after they stumble upon a lone White Walker and a group of wights like a dead ranging party. Time to initiate the ill advised plan to try and capture a wight and bring it back south.
Of course they all nearly die because this moronic plan shockingly does not go well. They do take out the group of wights with Jon destroying the White Walker with the Valyrian steel sword he nearly gave away minutes before (WTF Jon). Except their POW wight lets out a scream that acts as a bat signal for every other dead soldier in the north and now our heroes are screwed.
The gang gets marooned on an ice island as the White Walkers and their army surrounded them. The only reason they aren’t immediately killed is because the thin ice breaks and the dead aren’t exactly fond of swimming. So now we play the waiting game. Just waiting for death to come, figuratively and literally.
Jon opts to use one of his 3 lifelines and sends Gendry to phone a friend.
Tyrion tries to advise Khaleesi on a number of things in this episode such as what’s the plan of succession if she were to die? Khaleesi is not a fan of the conversation and says they’ll discuss it when she wears the crown, which could be a bit of grim foreshadowing we all look back on. But specifically he once again advises Khaleesi again risking her own life to rescue Jon Snow, Jorah and the others. In a direct response to the recent failures she’s experienced following Tyrion’s advice while simultaneously directly heeding the late Olenna’s advice (“Be a dragon”) Khaleesi says enough is enough and rides north on the back of Drogon.
Enter Khaleesi (if you can accept White Walkers but you can’t accept faster than normal travel I don’t want to be your friend) and her 3 gigantic dragons who just start flame throwing the entire place. It seems like the dragons really are the end all be all of weapons in the 7 Kingdoms, but similar to the Loot Train scene from a couple of weeks ago we once again see just how powerful yet vulnerable the dragons are at the same time.
The Night King takes his ice spear and just rifles it into the sky as Viserion gets tagged and falls from the sky while bleeding uncontrollably. I think this was the saddest I’ve been watching a TV show since Jack had a nervous breakdown about leaving the island on LOST.
The look Jon Snow gives the Night King had me thinking this is it for our boy, he’s going to go out in a blaze of glory trying to take out the head White Walker. As he tells Khaleesi to go he battles a few more wights before falling through the ice, which is the second time in three episodes the show runners have teased a major character drowning.
Shockingly, Jon does not in fact drown, but there is still an army of dead 50 feet away. This would be a pretty anti-climactic way to die so suddenly half-dead Uncle Benjen rides in out of nowhere on his horse to save Jon Snow’s ass and then sacrifices himself. Why couldn’t Benjen get on the horse and ride away with Jon too? As Michael Bay once said to Ben Affleck after Ben asked wouldn’t it be easier to just teach astronauts how to drill rather than the reverse? Shutup, Ben.
After surviving and making it back to the wall the team loads Jon up on the ship back to Dragonstone and we have a real moment between Khaleesi and Jon. Her dragons are not just pets to her, one of Khaleesi’s children just died, which is what makes it all the worse that they died helping Jon. So we see Khaleesi have the first real crack in her armor in years as she nearly breaks down sobbing mourning her dragon.
In a show of faith in her as a true leader and probably also a vague marriage proposal Jon tells her “You are my queen.” Jon bends the knee, well figuratively, since he’s on his deathbed once again.
Its the first time we have the North truly following a Targaryen since the Mad King. Jon doesn’t care what his people will say, he knows Khaleesi is the Queen they need. Now whether, Jon will be her King or not remains to be seen. But for now, they are allies at the very least.
Also, in addition to the Jon’s knife wounds on his chest courtesy of the Night’s Watch, he suddenly has blue marks on his chest. Is this just the frostbite and remnants of nearly drowning in ice cold water or is it something more? If you look at Benjen (RIP) closely, his face has the same blueish hue after he apparently fought off death and a transition to a wight. We don’t really ever learn a ton around Benjen’s story and what really happened (and we probably never will now) but has Jon been touched by something? Or is this just me looking too deeply into a show that has prided itself on deep, deep world building? I digress.
In the Den of Geek breakdown they also pointed out something interesting about this scene as well as everyone’s transportation home.
“It’s a moment so romantic that Dany even finds the scars that prove he was stabbed in the heart endearing. Jon appears to truly be hers, and hey he still tellingly didn’t ride Drogon with the rest of his comrades… he has his father’s namesake, Rhaegal, to look forward to mounting.”
So that is an interesting bit I thought. We still have yet to see Jon Snow on a dragon, even though all his crew has now been on one. And Khaleesi has only ever ridden on the back of Drogon. So is Rhaegal keeping his back for the one true king, Jon Snow?
The whole Sansa/Arya sister rivalry just took a dark twist as Sansa stumbles upon Arya’s bag of faces and realizes her little sister might be an even bigger psychopath than she thought. Arya all but threatens Sansa’s life and now we have the strangest power struggle I can remember on this show. It seems a little convenient writing as I would like to think after years of surviving older, more experienced foes and politicking all through the 7 Kingdowns (and Essos) that these two would be able to understand whats going on here. Imagine taking the transcript of an AIM chat you had when you were 14 and using that as hardcore, stone cold evidence of your character as a person years later?
Either way, Sansa is spooked about Arya either killing her or actually convincing the other northern lords that the words a 14 year old girl wrote, under durress, prove she is a traitor. Sansa fears losing her head as well as her role as ruler of the North.
So naturally she sends her sworn protector Brienne of Tarth to Kings Landing, which reeks of Littlefingers, well, finger prints. Was there actually a raven summoning her to Kings Landing or does Sansa just want to get Brienne out of Winterfell in case she needs to off Arya? Brienne is after all sworn to protect both of Catlyn Tully’s daughters, so if Sansa needs to axe Arya she doesn’t want anyone there to stop her. My question is though, as Sansa, the one without a single day of combat training, wouldn’t you be more worried about Arya killing you? Wouldn’t you want a bodyguard with you now more than ever? This story line just gets odder and odder.
At the end of the episode we see the army of the dead pulling Viserion up from his icy grave to be resurrected. Enter the ice dragon. The Night King’s wight dragon. Something else that Den of Geek speculated on is that maybe the reason the Night King and the White Walkers were simply waiting for the ice to freeze so they can attack Jon and his gang wasn’t just exposition allowing Khaleesi enough time to get there. Maybe the Night King knew Khaleesi was coming with her dragons and he was legitimately waiting for her. Waiting for her to come into his arena so he can down one and claim a dragon of his own. A much more satisfying and chilling explanation to that entire scene. Because we all know the White Walkers and the wights can’t break through the Wall. But what if the Night King had his own damn dragon to simply fly over the towering ice monstrosity of a wall? Or maybe they make good on the Season 7 opening credits and simply walk around the wall over the frozen ice. Either way the big baddie now has a dragon of his own which is downright frightening.
Next week we have the most tense meeting of the UN ever created. What traps and tricks can we expect in the 90 minute season finale? Did we really risk so much, getting Viserion (and Thoros!) killed just for one wight?
That whole sequence better actually have been worth it, but I’m not too optimistic. I don’t expect Cersei to suddenly care about some existential threat (real or not) because she is so single-mindedly focused on keeping the Iron Throne she will do whatever it takes to stay there. Even if it means her own demise. We’re running out of time though for everyone to be fighting two battles at the same time, so someone is gonna have to either shit or get off the pot. Next week could be the last we see of Cersei.
One more episode guys and then the Long Night truly does begin because god knows how long it’ll be until the 8th and final season of Game of Thrones.
So Game of Thrones aired its second episode of Season 7 Sunday night titled “Stormborn” which is an obvious nod to Khaleesi AKA Daenerys Stormborn of the House Targaryen,First of Her Name, the Unburnt, Queen of the Andals and the First Men, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea,Breaker of Chains, and Mother of Dragons. So yea, Stormborn was an easier title for an episode. Anyways lots to break down so LETS GET IT.
House Greyjoy
Lets not beat around the bush, how about that absolute hellacious Pirate Invasion by Euron on the open seas? This guy really is a psycho huh? Starting to see hints of what the actor who plays him said in interviews before the season about how Euron would make Ramsay Bolton look like a little kid. Yikes.
The Greyjoy fleet of Theon and Yara is basically toast. Its like any fleet that leaves Dragonstone is destined to be burned to the fucking ground a la Stannis at Blackwater Bay. We got Theon falling back into bad habits too. It seems like the crazy violent and torturous way of Euron (i.e. ripping out dudes tongues) and his Iron born gave Theon a hard reset back to his Reek days, which sucks. Silver lining though he is alive soo maybe he redeems himself again? Running out of episodes here Theon, lets pick it up.
Half of the Targaryen alliance just burned up on the open seas as the Dornish leader Ellaria and her daughters the sand snakes were all either killed or taken captive. This really screws up Khaleesi’s plan of taking Kings Landing using the Dornish army so she’ll probably be looking for more Houses to partner up with. Lucky for her the King of the North is on his way down to Dragonstone.
House Stark
Jon knows he needs Khaleesi, her army, and her dragons if the North has any chance against the White Walkers, but the last thing the northerners want to do is put their faith in the daughter of the goddamn Mad King. Jon’s point is that they need the mountain of Dragonglass that is under Dragonstone, not to mention the three large dragons that Khaleesi has, if they are to stand any chance against the Night King. But Sansa makes a pretty damn good point saying “Do you not remember what happened to our grandfather?” Long story short – the Mad King once called Jon Snow’s grandfather, Rickard Stark, to come down to King’s Landing and “bend the knee” except when he got there the Mad King burned the guy alive. The Mad King also later killed Jon’s uncle Brandon Stark too. So you’ll forgive Sansa for not being overly excited to send the freshly minted King of the North down south to meet another Targaryen to once again bend the knee.
I think Jon has learned a lot in a very short period of time, taking counsel from those around him and internalizing a lot of what people are saying to him, whether the others realize it or not. One thing Sansa said to Jon recently was that he needs to not be stupid like their father and Rob or he’ll be killed just like them. Pride, honor and really stubbornness to their ways are what ultimately got Rob and Ned killed. So while going to Dragonstone is definitely a risk, holding up shop in the North because of stubbornness is a sure fire way to die.
Something I am stoked to see though is if Khaleesi truly needs Jon Snow to bend the knee. While it doesn’t seem like he has any real aspirations to sit on the Iron Throne, if you remember his days with the wildlings, Jon grew to respect and idolize, really, Mance Rayder the King beyond the wall.
Mance awakened Jon to a lot of things beyond the blinders the Night’s Watch had put on him, among them the fact that some traditions of the 7 kingdoms are arbitrary and ridiculous.
As we all saw, Jon loved a wildling woman, saved the wildlings from Hardhome, literally got MURDERED by his peers for letting the wildlings through the Wall. Is it that crazy to assume a central ideology of one of his mentors sticks with him? We do not kneel. Or is this the Stark stubbornness I just mentioned that derails Jon Snow?
With Jon heading south, Sansa is now in charge of the North and that sound you just heard was Littlefinger’s erection smashing into the table. And Jon Snow knows it and does NOT like it, despite Littlefinger saving his ass with the Knights of the Vale. Jon Snow is WOKE on Baelish.
I’ve been waiting for this moment for 5.5 seasons and I am a fucking nerd for typing that sentence I know. This is a pivotal moment for Arya as we’re starting to witness her blind determination starting to waiver. When she first landed in Westeros she axed the entire Frey clan and was single-mindedly riding towards Kings Landing to kill the queen. Now she sees her direwolf for the first time in years, the same one she had to chase off in season 1 to save her after Nymeria bit that sonofabitch Joffrey. It really is quite impressive they recognize each other after all this time. Doesn’t seem like Nymeria is ready to be anyone’s pet as she’s currently running the goddamn jungle as a wolfpack leader, but I doubt we’ve seen the last of her. I keep telling people this, but Thrones does not waste a second of dialogue and very rarely leaves loose ends (looking at you Gendry).
Oh and Hotpie’s alive too.
BTW, Anyone else notice Arya’s mannerisms now? When talking to Hotpie she is eating, speaking and acting JUST like the Hound. Real short. No niceties. — “Got any ale?”
House Targaryen
Moving on, props to Varys for the most badass speech in his character’s history to convince Khaleesi he’s here to help. I don’t think she necessarily trusts him, but she understands his motives. All she asks is if you think I’m doing a shit job, tell me, don’t sail to Essos and plot a coup.
Olenna Tyrell is still a badass old lady who gives no fucks, asking the Mother of Dragons “Your grand plan was to march down here and use our armies?” The lady is fearless, have to give her that. And I think Khaleesi realizes she can learn a lot in the ways of Westerosi politics from Olenna. “You’re a dragon. Be a dragon.”
House Lannister
Cersei is calling in her bannermen and spin zoning the SHIT out of Khaleesi’s history (murdering the noblemen AKA the slave masters and feeding them to her dragons). She needs everyone to get her back to help fight off Khaleesi and the only way to do that is to play to people’s fears of the Mad King and the Targaryens in general. Without that, people will just flop to whoever they think will win. But Tyrion makes a GREAT point back on Dragonstone, saying they only way to RULE the 7 kingdoms vs just simply conquering them is with help from the Westerosi people themselves. By working with the Houses that already live there they can truly overthrow the regime, not just smash everything to ashes.
Also, laughed out loud at Jamie trying to get House Tarly to be his No. 1 general and Tarly basically tells Jamie to fuck himself. Welp, back to the drawing board Kingslayer.
WRAP IT UP BOX
I’ve noticed a LOT of loooong scenes this season like the Sam bedpan scene in last week’s episode and this week’s scene of Sam removing Jorah’s gray scale, slowly and painfully, not to mention the overly long Grey Worm sex scene. I don’t know if its due to new directors on Season 7, but the pacing feels out of place. Maybe they’re trying to lull us into a false sense of security because with the long, quiet, drawn out Grey Worm scene I was fully expecting someone to get knifed.
Did anyone notice in the GoT opening credits that at the end of the Wall the water is actually frozen?
No need to climb the Wall when you can walk right around it. Not to mention, if Benjen was right, maybe the White Walkers can’t pass through the wall since it was forged with ice and magic, so going around it seems to be a pretty good solution. Who knows though. When Bran was messing around and got touched by the Night King it allowed him to come into the One Eyed Raven’s cave (and murder him) which he could not do before. This also got Hodor, a bunch of the children of the forest and not to mention Bran’s direwolf killed. So good job Bran.
Also in case anyone already forgot Season 7 only has SEVEN episodes and we’ve already burned through two. So theres only just over a month of Thrones left in our lives before another cold, dark winter. Goddamnit, enjoy the ride.
In this very special edition of The 300s Podcast we breakdown all the Houses, characters, and plot lines of Westeros as Game of Thrones is FINALLY back.
Either way, Sansa is spooked about Arya either killing her or actually convincing the other northern lords that the words a 14 year old girl wrote, under durress, prove she is a traitor. Sansa fears losing her head as well as her role as ruler of the North.
The 300s 