Tag: New England

Phil Mickelson and His Jacked Calves Are On Standby to Replace Tom Brady If Necessary

So yesterday news broke that Tom Brady was on the Patriots injury report after being limited at practice with a calf injury. I’m not too worried because this is the same guy that was on the Patriots injury report every week for approximately a decade with a shoulder. However, in case anything tragic does transpire, we’ve got Phil Mickelson and his JACKED calves on standby.

Even Brady himself was on board with at least a few tips from Phil on how he built those leg cannons.

In case you’ve somehow forgotten, Phil has absolute porterhouse steaks packed into his calves.

PS – Phil absolutely SMOKED a guy for shooting his shot trying to get 18 holes in with the legend and I am wheezing.

Rumors Swirling the Patriots Will Wear Their 90s Blue Throwback Jerseys This Season

YESSS. I’ve been campaigning for the Patriots to break out these bad boys for yearsss. The red throwbacks and these beauties are the only thing I will wear when playing Madden. They’re just so awesomely bad and a perfect time capsule of the 90s with the garish two-toned blue and the oversized logos on the sleeves. Now granted this is still just a rumor that seems to have taken on a life of its own after a non-blue check marked account tweeted it out. So lets all take it with a gigantic grain of salt, but theres also this.

Now the real question is when the Patriots do take these jerseys off of mothballs, do I wear the Drew Bledsoe or Ben Coates? Decisions, decisions.

Update: It’s not happening. Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is never try.

Last Night I Had to Root for the Jets. I Don’t Know How People Do This

With the prospect of falling to 0-2 staring me dead in the face, I needed an extremely reasonable 8 points from Jamison Crowder to win my fantasy football matchup. For a guy that had 17 targets and 17 points in Week 1 that seemed pretty reasonable, except for the fact the guy that gave him all those targets was out with MONO. I’m not here to slut shame anyone, but you really put me in a shitty spot, Sam.

So with that being said I was tasked with watching the entire Jets game AND rooting for a backup QB to feed my guy. Naturally Crowder had a huge catch called back on a penalty and Trevor Siemian failed to impress all night. At least he was a guy with a few years in the league and 20+ starts under his belt though; that gave me hope for a touchdown pass. Welp, once he broke (probably) his ankle I was then forced to root for a 2nd year THIRD string QB in Luke Faulk who is apparently Chad Pennington reincarnated.

Meanwhile the “offensive guru” (Booger McFarland’s words not mine) Adam Gase just set football back about 50 years as he refused to call a play that didn’t involve Le’Veon Bell running the ball or Le’Veon Bell catching a screenpass at the line of scrimmage. The Jets apparently punted on the entire concept of the forward pass last night and were appropriately rewarded with a 3 point performance.

My guy Crowder? The guy I needed 8 points from? Yea he got 6.

HOW DO YOU PEOPLE LIVE THIS WAY??

PS – My other option was Kenyan Drake, the running back from the Dolphins that just got shutout 43-0 so no that wasn’t an option.

The Patriots Just Traded Demaryius Thomas…to the Jets!

This *never* happens. Seriously, when was the last time the Pats and the Jets made a trade? Belichick to the Pats was technically a trade, but as Felger just put it, when was the last time these two teams made a trade that wasn’t “court ordered?” So despite all the animosity between the two sides they got a deal done after Demaryius Thomas was made expendable by the addition of Antonio Brown. We hardly knew ye.

I though Thomas looked great in the last pre-season game, but that was against 3rd and 4th stringers and soon to be insurance salesmen so who knows. But how about Belichick getting anything, let alone a 6th round pick for a guy that was a street free agent coming off a torn achilles? Thats what we in the business like to call strong asset management.

Now a 6th round pick could be a bum the Pats cut before Labor Day next summer or it could be Tom Brady or it could be another asset in a long line of assets that Belichick is continuously flipping year after year. Belichick is basically that guy who started with one red paper clip and traded with people on Craigslist until he ultimately got a house out of it.

I’d Just Like to Take a Moment to Address the Fact That Phillip Dorsett is So Fast He Was Never Even in This Frame

I don’t have much at all if anything to add. The bottom line is this clip starts barely half a second after Brady catches the snap (you can tell by the usual QB half shuffle backward he does) and already Dorsett is not in the picture. He has exited screen left. That is fucking ABSURD. To think the Colts couldn’t do anything with this guy, we doubted his viability, and now he’s Brady’s most trusted deep threat really says a lot about McDaniels and co. A lot of people are saying “imagine he’s going to be our 4th or 5th option in a couple weeks, we’re that stacked.” Honestly? Not so fast. Once you click with TB12 you get yours no matter what. Dorsett and his freak speed might be wracking up highlights this year.

Red Sox Ticket Prices Are Now Comically Low

Catch the fever! Tickets to September Red Sox games are going for $6 bucks online right now. That is mental. You can get in tonight for $6, tomorrow for $7 and you can even get into Red Sox Yankees Sunday Night Baseball for $18.

I remember being a kid in the early 2000s and you couldn’t get into a Sox Yanks game for less than a bill. The first thing I did every April was sign up for the Red Sox/Yankees ticket lottery just to get a shot at those tickets for a decent price. Granted the Red Sox are 15 games out of first place in the AL East and 5.5 back of the second Wild Card spot. So as I said to a couple New Yorkers busting my balls over the weekend, we’re getting to the point in the Red Sox season where its almost Patriots season.

What a difference a year makes. Last September the Sox were just crushing teams en route to the World Series and I had no problem staying up til 3 am watching a 7 hour 18-inning game. Hell, I was in freaking Buffalo for work during the ALDS so I had to watch the Sox-Yankees in some Buffalo dive bar and I was more than happy to do it. Now? I’m not exactly racing home to watch David Price give up 5 runs in 5 innings and then opine about how his stuff felt good.

But, if I’m being a glass half full guy, which I know so many of you look to me for my optimism, I could at least expand my bobblehead collection two-fold for less than $20 in the next week.

Just shut everyone down, punt on 2019, make some moves in the winter, and come back with your heads screwed on in 2020. We’re done here.

Joey B. and Mattes Chop It Up About the Patriots’ Chopping Block

Joey B: Ok Mattes, here we are.

To kick this off. Who do you see, Good performance or not, off the Pats roster after this game?

Mattes: Brian Hoyer. While a lot of people may be averse to placing so much confidence in the preseason play of a rookie QB, the fact is that Jarrett Stidham has looked pretty sharp. This is also a kid who was once viewed as a first- or second-round pick before a “down” season at Auburn last year. And above all, there are too many other depth questions at other positions throughout the roster to keep three QBs – something, by the way, that Belichick has done only TWICE in the past decade. It would just be straight foolish. I’d much rather keep an extra WR or DL than keep a mediocre-at-best backup QB who may never even need to see the field. I’d actually be pretty pissed if they do keep Hoyer. There’s no reason for him to be here anymore.

Joey B:  Agreed 100% on Hoyer. My only caveat would be I could see them keeping until after final cuts, which gives him less of a chance of getting snatched up right away and us a better chance of resigning him should something to Stidham or….I’m not saying his name.

I personally think it’s curtains for Duke Dawson. Despite his size and balls skills he just never has been able to actually cover anyone. Much like your stance on Hoyer, why keep an extra player here when we could use depth somewhere else.

You mentioned the WR group. Give me your 5 and 6 man versions of our corps after this week. Who stays and who goes?

Mattes: I agree; I don’t expect them to cut Hoyer tomorrow. In fact, I could see them trying to trade him to someone first. (Maybe the Colts?? I mean, they already have one former Pats backup QB, so why not another?) And I totally agree on Dawson, too. He was a real talented kid coming out of Florida, but injuries set him back pretty far, and there is just too much talent and depth at the corner position otherwise. Especially with guys like Jonathan Jones and Keion Crossen (one of my guys I said to watch in camp this year) playing so well – not to mention rookie JoeJuan Williams – I just don’t see how Dawson makes the final cut.

My prediction for the final group at wide receiver is as follows: Julian Edelman, Josh Gordon, N’Keal Harry, Phillip Dorsett, Jakobi Meyers, and Demaryius Thomas. Some may be surprised to see Thomas, who just got back onto the field this week, make the roster, but apparently the team loves him. He’s a great veteran influence in a very young/inexperienced group outside of Jules, and I think they want to see if the former perennial Pro Bowler still has something left in the tank before cutting bait. Also, people might be shocked to see Berrios not make the cut. To be honest, though, he really hasn’t done much to stand out this summer, and there are even reports that he’s struggled mightily in terms of getting past coverage and muscling through defenders in practice. He’s displayed some solid punt-return ability, but to this point he’s not really proven why he’s any more special than any other “slot guy with potential” throughout the league. Hopefully the Pats get lucky and can slide him to the practice squad, because there’s some potential there. But I don’t think he’s quite NFL ready yet.

Joey B: No arguments here, I don’t think Berrios makes it either. He just hasn’t panned out plain and simple. Also, am I wrong in remembering he has actually muffed a punt or two aside from his decent returning resume so far?

The only threat to Thomas might be Gunner Olszewski. the team seems high on the kid and he has that “scrappiness” they like. If they don’t keep him then definitely expect them to try and stash him on the practice squad.

The other overload of players I see us having is on the D-Line. Any surprising stayers or goers there?

Mattes: I just can’t see Olszewski making the cut. He’s a cool story, but he’s a flash in the pan. Maybe he’s another one who can sneak onto the P-squad or something.

And there aren’t really any big surprise cuts that I’m expecting. I would’ve said Duron Harmon, because while he has been a solid role player in the secondary for years, I think he’s hit his ceiling and perhaps the staff might’ve been willing to try and get some more young talent on the roster. Further, I think newcomer Terrence Brooks has already won the staff over, and he’s a special teams stud. However, with the whole Pat Chung situation, I think Harmon is pretty much a lock to make the team now.

One surprise roster “make,” though, is DT Byron Cowart. Cowart is a former five-star recruit who the team drafted in the fifth round out of Maryland this year. Due to being misused by the coaching staff and other “issues,” he slipped a bit in the draft, but he has been a monster this summer. He really broke out against the Titans in the second preseason game, and scouts around the league are saying the Pats might have nabbed one of the biggest steals of the draft with him. Especially after the team cut bait with Mike Pennel last week, I’m excited to see what this Cowart kid could do with this opportunity.

Joey B: Hmm Harmon would be a surprise. He’s just always been rock solid and I think between him and the snaps J.McCourty has seen at Safety the Pats have any Chung absence covered. I can’t see them entrusting a newcomer like Brooks with the magnitude of Chung’s role.

Cowart has indeed been a stud. He might take Derek Rivers spot which is kind of a shame considering his promise coming out.

I kicked this thought around with Friend Of The Blog, Patty B., but I think Phillip Dorsett could be a surprise cut. I have no tangible evidence to support this, but Dorsett has always been a “one or two big plays” guy rather than a steady presence and so I wouldn’t be completely shocked if the Pats lets him go in favor of one of the young guns. I hope not though.

Either way things are going to get interesting over the next week. Hold onto ya butts.

 

 

 

 

Rob Gronkowski Launches a CBD Company

WBZ – Rob Gronkowski’s “next chapter” involves a campaign to get professional sports leagues to loosen their restrictions on CBD products.

The retired former Patriots tight end announced at a press conference in New York City on Tuesday that he has partnered with Abacus Health to launch a line of CBD products, after Gronkowski said the products changed his life.

“I immediately made CBDMedic part of my recovery,” Gronkowski said of his post-retirement treatment. “And now for the first time in more than a decade, I am pain-free. And that is a big deal.”

Citing his countless injuries and his nine surgeries during his playing career, Gronkowski said he had no choice but to retire.

CBD is a tricky thing because it only became federally legalized in 2018 after the passing of the Farm Bill. Theres not a whole lot of government funded research to analyze and back up (or dispute) all of the claims of CBD benefits, which at this point in time are mostly anecdotal. Gronk is all in on CBD though and wants to make you a believer.

Right now there are two types of people in this country; CBD fanatics and people who think CBD is snake oil.

I wouldn’t blame people for thinking CBD is a bunch of bullshit because there are claims that it can help for everything from reducing pain and inflammation to improving sleep, reducing stress and anxiety etc. etc. Without a ton of studies available on CBD its easy to disbelieve if you aren’t a fan of it. However anyone that I’ve talked to who takes CBD swears by it. I’m personally a huge proponent of it. Could we all look back in 5 years and see it was basically a giant placebo effect? Sure, but if people at least believe its helping them then why not embrace it?

So we have a product that helps athletes with pain and recovery, is non-habit forming, and doesn’t get you high, yet its still banned by the NFL. Gronk is looking to change that.

CBD comes from cannabis which is derived from hemp, just without the THC, so its easy for people to circulate the “reefer madness” party line as to why you shouldn’t mess with it. But with more and more recreational marijuana shops opening up every day (seriously theres one right around the corner from my house that I didn’t even know about), its quickly becoming the norm.

Research and studies are coming and its not out of the goodness of their heart that the government will start funding it. No, its once they realize how much money there is to be made regulating it. CBD is in just about everything right now: oil, vapes, gummie bears, cookies, soda, coffee etc. So with regulation will come restrictions, but it will also weed out the people selling actual snake oil.

If you think this is just an athlete cashing an endorsement check then you need to watch the video below. Gronk nearly breaks down into tears discussing the pain he was in and how this product helped him get right.

Gronk did leave open the possibility for a return to football, but it sounds like he was so beat up that he couldn’t even enjoy winning the goddamn Super Bowl so I think a comeback is unlikely.

“I was in tears in my bed after a Super Bowl victory. … It didn’t make much sense to me,” Gronkowski said. “I couldn’t sleep for more than 20 minutes a night, after a Super Bowl win. And I was like damn, this sucks. It didn’t feel right.”

So heres to Gronk and the next chapter in his life. You gave us 9 seasons, 115 games, 79 touchdowns, 2 Super Bowls, and became arguably the greatest Tight End the NFL has ever seen all while beating the hell out of your body. Build a CBD empire, push for the NFL to legalize it, partner with Brady down the line on a TB12 CBD brand that will put GNC out of business. Sky’s the limit.

Patriots Center David Andrews Hospitalized in a Scary Situation

ProFootballTalkPatriots center David Andrews is dealing with a major health scare.

Andrews has been hospitalized with blood clots in his lungs his season is in jeopardy, according to Jeff Howe of TheAthletic.com.

Scary, scary shit man. I feel bad even addressing the football piece when it would appear Andrews’ health is so compromised. Needless to say, he has been instrumental to the Patriots success in the latest chapter in the Brady-Belichick era. He has quietly and dare I say, humbly locked down the Center position providing a steady hand for Brady to handle snaps from and identify defenses

Now he has blood clots in his lungs, which just sounds terrifying. Guy is just 27 years old and he’s dealing with something so daunting. I think I speak for everyone when I say the hell with the football part of things. Who cares if ever plays another snap. Let’s just hope he gets healthy.

Heal up big fella. We’re rooting for ya.

-Joey B.