Tag: OJ Howard

The 300s Fantasy Football Round Up – Week 2

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I would like to use this introductory paragraph to point out the fact that so far the Patriots defense is the highest scoring opponent they’ve yet to encounter this season.

Moving along, Week 2 has come and gone in the fantasy world and teams have begun to take shape, some players have been added and dropped, 15 QBs have been ruled out for the season, and one missing a chromosome has been benched and possibly retired.

So without further ado let’s see how the staff here did in Week 2.

Joey B (0-2)

I don’t know what I ever did to deserve this but Ronald Jones getting me .9 points on Thursday proved to be foreshadowing. No one ever showed up and I lost by 20. My RBs are garbage and I need helllllp.

Dom (1-1)

For the second week in a row, the Scruffy Looking Nerfherders were the second highest scoring team in the league. Unfortunately, I played the only team that could’ve beaten me this week. Lame. Once again, most of the boys performed well, and I made the excellent pick up of Mark Andrews of Baltimore, who happens to be the league’s top TE through 2 weeks. The big downside to the week was that James Conner was knocked out with a knee injury, but reports are that it’s not serious thankfully.

Lippa (1-1)

Don’t love my team in my league as much as I have in previous years. Probably because I didn’t have a second round pick (traded it for Antonio Brown last year trying to go all-in en route to a first round playoff loss). O.J. Howard looks like a giant bust, and my general lack of elite players will probably cost me this year. Bright side: JOSH ALLEN time next week at QB after a week of streaming Andy Dalton.

Mattes (2-0)
Even though Dede Westbrook and his pathetic 0.8 points (!!!) almost screwed me, Dak, Dalvin, and Kelce were an absolute force for the second-straight week. Kerryon also had a nice day after a worrisome Week 1. (And it’ll only get better for him with C.J. Anderson getting the axe yesterday!) This week I’ll be replacing Westbrook and Singletary with Matt Breida and Scary Terry McLaurin, AND I nabbed Dallas’s D off waivers this week since they’re playing Miami at home. Reeeaallly trying not to get too cocky yet, and I know it’s early. But The Pride of Kansas is 2-0 and sitting third overall in points so far. I’m feeling good.

Papa G (2-0)

Lamar Jackson! What a stud. Another solid performance from my elite QB out of Baltimore. This week was definitely tougher than last week though. Barely squeezed out a win thanks to Le’Veon Bell on MNF. Njoku got concussed almost immediately in the game so it was all on Bell’s shoulders. 2-0 to start the season, just like my Bills. Inevitable collapse(s) pending.

Red (0-2)

I touched on this a bit yesterday in my blog denigrating Jets fans so I won’t rehash too much, but long story short I needed 8 points from Jamison Crowder. He got 6. The football gods mocked me for putting my faith in a Jets player too and had third stringer Luke Falk taking snaps before halftime just to really make me suffer. You don’t know degenerate levels until you find yourself yelling at the TV for a third string QB to throw a garbage time TD in a blowout on Monday night.

Big Z (1-1)

The Z Men will not go undefeated in 2019. We stand at 1-1 after a 120-96 loss in Week 2. At least my team wasn’t the only team that wasted a great effort from Dalvin Cook. Dude had a touchdown and 154 yards on the ground, only to see Kirk Cousins throw an interception that would have been unacceptable even in a pick up game of groomsmen in the parking lot before a wedding reception. Christian McCaffrey was a disappointment in Week 2 with only 53 total yards, but hopefully that’s an aberration.  My kicker Matt Prater might have been this biggest disappointment of my week though. A missed PAT is -2 in my league, so even with the PAT he made later in the game he still ended up in the red for me and cost me a point.

 

 

 

 

The 300s Bloggers’ Nick Mullens is Elite Fantasy Football Round Up – Week 9

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Yey, my children, behold the Week 9 fantasy football blog. The NFL itself was actually a bit of a dumpster fire this week with quite a few just plain bad games. On the other hand, was Nick fucking Mullens. The complete unknown practice squadder who jogged out there for San Francisco and was just about perfect. The best QB from Southern Miss not named Brett Favre. Only highlighting Mullens success was his counterpart on the Raiders, Derek Carr, simply forgetting how to QB and Carr’s coach Jon Gruden searching Indeed for new jobs on the sidelines. Sports, amirite?!

Anyway, how’d we do?

Papa G

Blogger’s Note: Papa Giorgio did not submit a fantasy blog this week. He is however a Mets fan and their newly introduced General Manager is indeed the slimiest seeming person since Lester Diamond so maybe he’s just in a gutter somewhere. Ts and Ps son.


Red

You wanna know why The League was such a completely unrealistic show? It’s not because of all the crazy antics they get into with NFL celebrity guest appearances sprinkled in. No it’s because I’m supposed to believe a group of grown men in their 30s are endlessly devoted to a game that is almost entirely dependent on random acts of god. On Sunday, I was greeted to a glorious “Look what I found” TD that I was so jazzed up about I tweeted it…which sealed my fate with the fantasy gods. 

I later came to find out that the refs changed their mind and just awarded the TD to someone else, thus stealing 6 points out of my front pocket. Can’t win like that guys. 

I now reside firmly in 10th place.

Joey B

3-6. No bueno. Probably out of the running at this point as it is a ten point league. The worst part in this was a 15 point loss to the number one team in the league, which is pretty fucking close. Basically all I needed was Matthew Stafford to do literally anything at all (I think he got me 5 or 6 points) and I would have got the dub. Wasted games from Connor and Howard. Just disappointing.

 

Mattes

I’ve hit an all-time low this week: I lost to a guy who started two inactives and is last in the league in points. I’m 1-8 and ashamed to even look myself in the mirror right now. No need to talk about this abomination any longer. It simply hurts too much.

After getting a combined 120 points from Michael Thomas and the Fitzmagic/O.J. Howard stack in my 2-QB, full-point PPR league, I still lost because Kirk Cousins and Tarik Cohen forgot how to play football this week. If I had just started Philip Rivers as my other QB, I would’ve been fine. I just pulled a Big Z this week and left points on the bench. Happens to the best of us, but I’m still right in the thick of it.

 

Big Z

Things are coming together nicely for the Z-Men. With 144 points in Week 9, I led the league in scoring for the second straight week and won for the third straight week.

I’m still in the running for the Horse’s Ass Trophy, too! In addition to 25 points from James Conner and 26 points from Christian McCaffrey, Tevin Coleman scored 26 on my bench and James White scored 22 on my bench. The curse of being deep at the RB position in a league that only lets you play two per week.

The 300s Bloggers “Earl Thomas Was Right” Fantasy Football Round Up – Week 4

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O hey there. So we are officially a quarter of the way through the 2018-2019 football season and with that, we are really beginning to see what our fantasy football teams are made of. We are also beginning to see what the waver wire is made of as more and more players go down, forcing owners to try and convince themselves that Senorise Perry is about to have a breakout week. But as we prepare for the return of Julian Edelman, let’s check in with the your favorite amateur typists to see how their fantasy squads did this week.

Joey B

I got fucking washed. Other than the Stafford-Tate connection no one showed up, least of all a certain #87. I even experienced the rare goose egg courtesy of Sammy Watkins last night. Definitely looking forward to rebounding next week when I get Devin Funchess back and slot Cameron Brate (O.J Howard is hurt) in for Gronk.


Red

Finally got a W on the books and it literally took until the final drive of the Monday night game. Demaryius Thomas was really earning his keep as my 5th round pick mustering up 3 points with a little over 2 mins left in the game. Keep in mind that during all this I am down by ONE POINT in my head to head matchup. Less than 2 minutes to go and Patrick Mahomes put the Chiefs ahead so Denver is forced to throw the ball. Thank Christ. With 1:39 to go Case Keenum immediately takes a sack. Good start. I am screaming at my TV at this point. The very next play Keenum completes a 9 yard hitch route to Thomas to nab me the ONE POINT I needed to seal the deal. Fantasy football is legitimately taking years off of my life.

Oh and my TE Tyler Eifert broke his ankle. 


Big Z

I don’t know what’s more remarkable, the points I leave on my bench each week or the fact that I’m still winning in spite of my poor coaching decisions. Either way, I won my Week 4 match up 108-76, and at 3-1 am currently sitting in the 3rd place in my ten-team league. Maybe it’s my “defense.” I’m seventh in points, but have “allowed” the fewest points in the league.

Brandon Cooks and George Kittle really saved my bacon in Week 4 with 24 points each. Russell Wilson was a disappointment with just 7 points, and I’ll finally be giving him the hook in Week 5. Time for some Matty Ice, baby! Oh, and did I mention that my opponent played the Cleveland defense?

Mattes:

S-O-Fucking-S! The Purple Cobras are currently in the midst of their worst season ever, sitting at 1-3 and dead last in the league in points by a cool 30. After getting a combined 11.48 points from Russell Wilson, Jordan Howard, and O.J. Howard, I had absolutely no shot, but my opponent made sure to put up almost 160 on me anway. (OH, and Amari Cooper had another phenomenal game on my bench.) Maybe it’s time for Baker Mayfield to come in and right the ship?

Fell down to .500 in my other league, sitting at 2-2. The week started off blazing hot with Kirk Cousins, but then Michael Thomas also decided to forget how to play football this week. Getting two points out of my FLEX and leaving 17 points on the bench from Sony Michel – the guy who I was originally going to play in my FLEX – didn’t help either, especially when you lose by only seven points. Still right in the thick of it all, though, so I’m not sweating it.

The 300s Bloggers’ Fantasy Football Round Up – Week 2

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Hi Friends.

Week 2 is now in the books and I’d say we are one week away from really seeing what our squads “are”? Don’t you love those questions and answers? “We still don’t know what Jimmy G is.” “We will find out tonight what these 2008 *insert team here* are? But ya, horribly hard to be a T.V analyst.

To go along with Week 2 we have our second addition of the recap of how our bloggers did in their respective league(s). As with Week 1, every blogger has submitted a small blurb on their successes and failures. Let’s get to it…


Papa Giorgio

Well, I got absolutely shellacked this weekend. 0-3 across all my leagues. Fournette being out did not help in the slightest. It will be interesting to see how Josh Gordon does for me now that he’s been traded to the Patriots. I have him in two leagues and if the guy can get healthy and live up to his potential my teams should be able to get back on track in the quest for some titles. Otherwise, if things continue to go south I may have to pull a Vontae Davis and get the hell out of Dodge. 

(Joey B Note: Something about a Bill’s fan drafting the most volatile player possibly in league history makes me happy.)


Big Z

Fantasy football is a prime example of where it is better to be lucky than good. I was thisclose to dropping Chris Hogan in favor of Phillip Dorsett this week. I ultimately decided against streaming my WR/TE flex position and stuck with Hogan after a lackluster Week 1. At halftime it looked like they would both post underwhelming Week 2 numbers, but I was rewarded with two late TDs by Hogan. Thank god.

As I’ve written before, defense should be taken out of fantasy football. Until that happens, though, I will continue to stream defenses in fantasy football. This week I dropped Green Bay to pick up New England. Whoops! Thankfully the move only cost me eight points. After an early defensive touchdown by Green Bay it looked like it could’ve been a whole lot worse.

Up 89-88 going into Monday night, my opponent was done and I only had Russell Wilson left. I thought about benching him, but when’s the last time a QB got negative points? I don’t know, but Wilson made me sweat it out, turning the ball over a few times in the second half. A garbage-time TD put me at the century mark, though, and cemented my Week 2 W.

So with a Brandin Cooks, Christian McCaffrey and a little luck, the Big Z Fantasy Empire is on the board in 2018.


Red

(Joey B’s Note: This first sentence is laugh out loud funny. This is the beauty of fantasy: you can taste the bitterness)

If I have any piece of advice from another dogshit start to my fantasy season it’s this; stick to the guys you drafted as long as you can. After a disastrous 4 INT game in Week 1, I benched Matt Stafford for Jimmy G and Stafford went off for 32 points compared to Garoppolo’s 20. Naturally I lost by just a hair under 12 points this week.

I also lost in my other league wasting a 27 point, 14 catch, 100 yard performance from Christian McCaffrey. So all in all I am a combined 0-4 to start the fantasy season. Oh and I bet the Patriots to cover on Sunday while I was down in the great state of NJ and obviously lost that bet. So my gambling advice is radioactive right now. Stay away.


Joey B

The bitch of fantasy football is that sometimes what happens in real-life outweighs fantasy. In this case, Gronk having a bad day fantasy-wise was not nearly as bad as that Patriots game overall. I still not only won but had high score thanks to, in part, another MONNNSTER game from Michael Thomas. Still, seeing that 2 points (or so) from Gronk and what it really represented hurt.


Mattes

If it weren’t for O.J. Howard benefitting from even more FitzMagic this week, it would have been a SAD day for the Purple Cobras. Granted, I did leave over 65 points on the bench this week, which included three guys with over 17-plus points each, each of whose performance would have been better than the four-point abomination I got from Ryan Grant in my flex. (Hey! He had nine targets in Week 1!) But alas, it would not have mattered anyway, as my opponent was the league’s high-scorer this week. Fortunately, those bench guys look like they could be forces moving forward, so hopefully I can start to right the ship in Week 3 after a rough (but not insurmountable!) 0-2 start.

As far as my other league goes, I was able to pull out a two-point victory thanks in large part to Captain Kirk Cousins, who went absolute H.A.M. sandwich in Green Bay on Sunday. Pairing him up with Philip Rivers in a two-QB league proved to be quite the boon this week. Michael Thomas also continues to be a PPR juggernaut, and the fact that Chris Carson didn’t get a carry in the second half killed any chance my opponent had of winning going into what was looking like a very advantageous Monday night scenario for him. If David Johnson, Larry Fitz, and the Cardinals offense ever wakes the hell up, I’d be feeling pretty damn good about this squad. I’ll take a 1-1 start for now.