Tag: Packers

The Packers Aren’t Signing Colin Kaepernick Because Teams Don’t Sign New Starting QBs Mid-Season, Not Because of His Political Views

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Yahoo – The Green Bay Packers might have lost franchise quarterback Aaron Rodgers for the season, but coach Mike McCarthy is definitely not interested in adding free agent Colin Kaepernick. McCarthy was posed the question by a reporter Monday and his answer was an emphatic “no.”

You want the truth?

You weep for Kaepernick and you curse the Packers. You have that luxury. Mike McCarthy has neither the time nor the inclination to explain himself to you.

And the truth of the matter is Colin Kaepernick is a middle of the pack QB, who has not taken so much as a practice snap in months. We’re heading into Week 7. Regardless of who is available as a free agent, teams never sign street free agent QBs this far into a season to be their starter. It just doesn’t happen. Especially not when McCarthy, who fancies himself a strong developer of QBs, has two backup QBs on the roster that he brought in.

So bringing in Kaepernick, regardless of his off the field headlines, isn’t a realistic option. Not to mention, the guy wanted CAKE to sign with any team; not backup money.

Take a local example with the Patriots. Last year, with Brady suspended and Jimmy Garoppolo hurt, the only healthy QB the team had on the roster was 3rd string rookie Jacoby Brissett.

The Pats worked out a couple of guys but instead of bringing in someone like TJ “Yates of Hell”, the Pats opted to go with NO ONE. They legitimately preferred nobody over signing a street free agent at QB. They literally had Julian Edelman as their emergency QB as a better option over a guy who had zero grasp of the Patriots playbook. Its the same thing here. You think McCarthy would rather bring in Kaepernick and just throw him out there like its a goddamn game of Madden than play one of the guys he’s groomed behind Rodgers over the years? Its nonsense to even suggest that as a realistic option.

Now, I hope Kaepernick gets a shot somewhere because there are definitely worse QBs in the league, but there are also QBs in the league who aren’t rocking the boat with their employer and aren’t demanding top line starter money. Fair or not, thems the facts.

Lets Gamble! NFL Week 5

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Overall Record (14-16)
Last week (9-6)

Another week, another one of the worst beats I’ve ever seen in a football game with the ending of that Kansas City game. Just ruthless. As always, all of our betting lines are courtesy of the Westgate Las Vegas SuperBook so blame them if the numbers change. Its that time once again to start playing fast and loose with our paychecks. Its Week 5 in the NFL, LETS GO


New England Patriots (-5.5, 55.5) at Tampa Bay Buccaneers
I picked the Pats to cover and cover they did.

Sunday, Oct. 8
1 p.m. ET

New York Jets at Cleveland Browns (-1.5, 39)
There’s no way you’re going to actually put money on the Browns as a favorite are you? I sure as shit am not going to. I’ll take the Jets here.

Carolina Panthers at Detroit Lions (-3, 44)
Coming off their walkoff win over the Patriots, the Panthers have some momentum heading into Detroit. But the Lions are looking legit this year sitting at 3-1 in first place in the NFC North. It seems the Panthers are slowly figuring out the best way to use Christian McCaffrey with Jonathan Stewart together though so I’m taking the Panthers to cover here.

San Francisco 49ers at Indianapolis Colts (-1.5, 43.5)


Tennessee Titans (NL) at Miami Dolphins
No Line for this game, so nothing to see here.

Buffalo Bills at Cincinnati Bengals (-3, 38)
Call me crazy, I’m taking the Bills here. I like Tyrod Taylor to have a big game against the struggling Bengals.

Los Angeles Chargers at New York Giants (-3.5, 44.5)
A battle of two 0-4 teams. Woof. I’ve been picking the Chargers all year and they keep disappointing so its hard to rely on them here. Giants are in the same boat, but with a fully healthy Odell Beckham I think they finally get on the board here. I’ll take the G-Men to cover.

Jacksonville Jaguars at Pittsburgh Steelers (-8.5, 44)
Steelers are pretty big favorites at (-8.5) so thats asking a lot, but it is the Jaguars. I can definitely see Pittsburgh winning by 10. Fournette’s been solid in his first year rushing for 285 yards and 3 TDs, but Big Ben is rolling with Antonio Brown whos got 30 catches for 388 yards and a score. So I’m taking the Steelers to cover the big spread.

Arizona Cardinals at Philadelphia Eagles (-6.5, 45)
Eagles look like they’ve found their QB of the future with Carson Wentz and while I’m still bummed about Short Guy Hall of Famer Darren Sproles going down, Philly is still rolling along. Not a huge fan of old man Carson Palmer, especially with the non-existant run gam post David Johnson, so I’m taking the Eagles to cover.

4 p.m. ET
Seattle Seahawks at Los Angeles Rams (-2.5, 47)
You gotta be shitting me? I know the Rams are off to a 3-1 start, but I refuse to take them as favorites over the Seahawks on a (-2.5) spread. Put some respeck on Seattle’s name. I’m taking Dangeruss and the Seahawks here.


Baltimore Ravens (NL) at Oakland Raiders
Seems to be a lot of No Lines this season, soo nothing to bet on here.

 

Green Bay Packers at Dallas Cowboys (-2, 52.5)
Its hard to bet against the Packers, who are 3-1 on the season going against the 2-2 Cowboys. The Pack just continue to plug and play guys like Aaron Jones and not miss a beat, but I like Dallas here. Feed Zeke all night long and win by a FG, I’ll take the Boys.


Kansas City Chiefs (NL) at Houston Texans
Another game with No Line. Moving on.

Monday, Oct. 9
8:30 p.m. ET


Minnesota Vikings (NL) at Chicago Bears
No reason to watch MNF if theres No Line. Carry on.

Lets Gamble! NFL Week 4

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Week 3 was a rollercoaster with a lot of upsets that I did not see coming (I’m looking at you Denver), but Week 4 is a new day. As always, all of our betting lines are courtesy of the Westgate Las Vegas SuperBook so blame them if the numbers change. Its that time once again to start playing fast and loose with our paychecks. Its Week 4 in the NFL, LETS GO.

Overall Record (14-16)
Last week (6-9)

Thursday, Sept. 28
Chicago Bears at Green Bay Packers (-7, 45.5)
The Bears just keep making me look bad, but I refuse to put my hard earned dollars on Mike Glennon. And I need to see back to back solid games out of Jordan Howard before I trust him. Usually the tired rhetoric about Thursday Night Football is its sloppy, the passing is out of sync and teams lean on their running game. Welp, the Rams and Niners blew that one up last week. So I’m taking the Packers to cover here.

Sunday, Oct. 1
9:30 a.m. ET (at London)
New Orleans Saints (-3, 49.5) vs. Miami Dolphins
I gotta go Saints here. I know they’ve been up and down, but I don’t know if Smokin Jay Cutler and the Dolphins have enough offensive firepower to keep up with the saints. Saints will cover.

1 p.m. ET
Carolina Panthers at New England Patriots (-9, 48.5)
Another big spread for the Pats at (-9) which is a tricky one because the Panthers have been pretty shaky so far this year, but similar to last week against Deshaun Watson, the Pats have historically struggled against mobile QBs. I think its gonna be a game the Pats pull away, but Panthers make it respectable. I got Patriots by 10 to cover.

Los Angeles Rams at Dallas Cowboys (-7.5, 46)
Rams looked great last week putting up 41 points buttt that was on San Francisco. Cowboys gotta win by more than a TD here, whereas the Rams haven’t lost by more than 7 yet this season and have put up 40+ points twice already. But again the competition has been pretty mediocre (Indy, Washington, San Fran) so I’m picking the Cowboys to keep rolling and cover.

Detroit Lions at Minnesota Vikings (no line)
Does Westgate have something against the Vikings? There’s no line for them for the second week in a row.

Tennessee Titans (-1.5, 44) at Houston Texans
Texans could go one of two ways in this game. Defeated and beat down after dropping a game they probably should have won to the Patriots last week or they’ll come firing out of the gates for sticking with the best team in football for 58 minutes last week. I think Deshaun Watson found his groove last week so I’m taking the Texans to cover here.

Jacksonville Jaguars (-3.5, 39.5) at New York Jets
Bet on this game at your own risk. Jags cruised to victory last week, but they’re more of a running team these days and the Jets have a solid D-line if nothing else. Jets surprised me last week with a W over the Dolphins, but I think Fournette and the gang are too much for the Jets here. Jags cover.

Cincinnati Bengals (-3, 40) at Cleveland Browns
Another game I cringe to even put money on, but hey thats what leaders do, they take the ball and they bring their team down the field. Bengals shit the bed last week, but Cleveland cannot be trusted. Bengals cover.

Pittsburgh Steelers (-3, 43.5) at Baltimore Ravens
Ravens had an absolutely embarrassing game last week so they should bounce back. Problem is though, so did the Steelers. After losing in OT to the goddamn Bears, I expect Big Ben and co. to smash the Ravens. Steelers cover.

Buffalo Bills at Atlanta Falcons (-8, 48.5)
Bills are sneaky tied for 1st place in the AFC East and look a lot better than most people thought they would before the season. I think the Bills keep it within a score and cover.

4 p.m. ET
New York Giants at Tampa Bay Buccaneers (-3, 44)
This year’s Hard Knocks darlings have yet to beat anyone great yet as their first game got postponed, then they beat the Bears, and then got smoked by the Vikings last week. ODB looks healthy once again, but the Giants are 0-3 and could be reeling so I’m going with the Bucs to cover.

Philadelphia Eagles at Los Angeles Chargers (-1, 47)
Despite being 0-3, the Chargers have had some bad breaks and could easily be 2-1 so I think they’re due, plus it likely will take the Eagles a little while to figure out how to best replace Darren Sproles with Smallwood and others. Chargers are due, I’m picking them to cover.

San Francisco 49ers at Arizona Cardinals (-7, 44.5)
The Niners got blown out in their opener, but then nearly beat Seattle in Week 2, which looking back now seems to have more to do with the Seahawks offensive line than anything. Then they kept it close before losing to the Rams last week. Arizona looks to rebound after an L in Dallas in which Larry Fitzgerald looked 10 years younger. Their running game is still a disaster without David Johnson, but wth Fitz and Jaron Brown stepping up in the receiving core I’m picking the Cardinals to cover.

Oakland Raiders at Denver Broncos (-2.5, 46.5)
This is a heavyweight matchup of AFC playoff teams and the Broncos are favored by a FG. Both teams had disappointing losses last week so everyone’s looking to get back on track. Oakland has been leaning on Marshawn Lynch here early and Denver is one of the worst teams to try and run on so I’m going with the Broncos to cover here.

8:30 p.m. ET
Indianapolis Colts at Seattle Seahawks (-13, 41.5)
God the Colts suck, but a two TD spread is huge for a team thats been struggling offensively. As much as I want to pick the Colts, Russell Wilson looked great last week and if the Seahawks can get him out of the pocket he’ll shred the Colts D. So while I usually hate picking the favorite in huge spreads like this, Dangeruss is looking good, and the Seahawks are at home where they are loud as shit. I’ll take Seattle to cover.

Monday, Oct. 2
Washington Redskins at Kansas City Chiefs (-7, 49.5)
I’m going to continue to roll with the Chiefs who have looked awesome so far this year. Kareem Hunt is scary good and the R-words have yet to really find a groove as guys like Terrell Pryor continue to underwhelm. I got the Chiefs covering here.

Picking Up the Pieces: Gambling NFL Week 3

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Overall Record (14-16)
Last week (8-7)
This week (6-9)

Whats that saying? Fall down 9 times, get up 10? Yea, well sometimes that applies to gambling, especially when you get your dick ripped out on the first game of the week on a backdoor cover. Rebounded nicely from our 0-5 start to finish the week at 6-9. Can’t win em all.

Thursday, Sept. 21
Los Angeles Rams (-2.5, 40) at San Francisco 49ers

Bad beat of the year. I wrote a blog entirely about how badly screwed anyone who took the Rams got on this one.
Our pick: Rams to cover the (-2.5) spread…they won by 2. So thats an L. (0-1)

Sunday, Sept. 24
Baltimore Ravens (-4, 39) vs. Jacksonville Jaguars

What an absolute abortion this game was. Those poor London fans, even when Jacksonville is good they get a shit game. Jags put the smackdown on Flacco and the Ravens, winning 44-7. Yuck.
Our pick: Ravens to cover. Thats an L. (0-2)

Denver Broncos (-3, 40.5) at Buffalo Bills

This is shaping up to be a disaster for gamblers everywhere. Did not see the Broncos folding like they did in this one, especially after how well Trevor Siemian had played the first two games. Bills are now tied for first place in the AFC East.
Our pick: Broncos to cover. Thats an L. (0-3)

New Orleans Saints at Carolina Panthers (-6, 48)

Wrong again dickhead. Despite a 100+ yard receiving game from Christian McCaffrey, the Panthers couldn’t even put two touchdowns up as the Saints cruised to a 34-13 win. Damn.
Our pick: Panthers to cover. Thats an L. (0-4)

Pittsburgh Steelers (-7.5, 45.5) at Chicago Bears

THIS WEDDING IS HORSESHIT. If you picked the Bears to beat the Steelers you are lying and I don’t associate with liars. Bears top Pittsburgh in OT behind Jordan Howards 34 points (on my fantasy bench).
Our pick: Steelers to cover. Thats a big L. (0-5)

Atlanta Falcons (-3, 49) at Detroit Lions

Okay if the Rams game was the bad beat of the year, this is the bad beat of the century IF you bet on the Lions. Thankfully I did not because I would have smashed my TV. Lions got a walkoff TD erased by a questionable replay review and per the rules the cluck had a 10-second runoff leaving the Lions with their dick in their hands at the 1 yard line.
Our pick: Falcons to cover. Thats a W! (1-5)

Cleveland Browns (-1.5, 40) at Indianapolis Colts

Here’s what I said last week: “This is the first game the Browns have been favored to win since 2015! So tread lightly here. But I like what I saw out of rookie receiver Rashard Higgins last week (7 catches, 95 yards) and the Colts are still starting the Patriots 3rd-string QB. While it is with great trepidation, I’m taking the Browns to cover. Well guess what? The Browns did not cover. Shocking, I know. And Rashard Higgins did nothing despite being freshly inserted into my fantasy lineup. Colts won 31-28.
Our pick: Browns to cover. Thats an L. (1-6)

 

Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Minnesota Vikings (no line)

Westgate had no line on this game. Soo we didn’t bet it.

Houston Texans at New England Patriots (-13, 43.5)

Patriots won 36-33, but as we predicted last week the (-13) spread was way too heavy for the Pats to cover. Here’s what I said last week: “While I told anyone and everyone to bet their house on the Pats routing the Saints last week, I’m not as confident in predicting a blowout here. The Texans defense is legit, especially upfront. And if you’ve been paying attention over the years, these are the types of teams that usually give the Pats trouble (except for last year when Brissett and co. wrecked them). But Pats also have historically struggled with mobile QBs and Deshaun Watson is that dude. So while I think the Pats win, I’m picking the Texans to cover.”
Our pick: Texans to cover. Thats a W. (2-6)

Miami Dolphins (-6, 41.5) at New York Jets

Basically every shit team won this past week, wrecking my bets across the board. The Jets throttled Smokin Jay Cutler and the Dolphins 20-6. Did not see that one coming.
Our pick: Dolphins to cover. Thats an L. (2-7)

New York Giants at Philadelphia Eagles (-6, 43)

Eagles won on a 61 yard FG as time expired, which was a goddamn BOOT. Eagles won, but only by 3 so they didn’t cover the (-6) point spread. What I said last week was “until ODB proves to me he is 100% I’m not picking the Giants because they’re just not that good without him. Plus Carson Wentz is playing well and Darren Sproles continues to be the most spry 34-year-old running back I’ve ever seen.” ODB looks to be back to his old self as he was scoring TDs and pretending to piss like a dog and I just jinxed Sproles who broke his arm AND tore his ACL on the SAME PLAY. What a disaster of a week.
Our pick: Eagles to cover. Thats an L. (2-8)

Seattle Seahawks at Tennessee Titans (-3, 43)

While the Seahawks seemingly are on the way back to being a solid offense again, the Titans topped them 33-27. I would like to just point out that even though I picked this game correctly, I also benched Russell Wilson on my fantasy team. And of course I lost because Dangeruss had 45 points on my bench. Goddamnit.
Our pick: Titans to cover. Thats a W. (3-8)

Cincinnati Bengals at Green Bay Packers (-9, 44.5)

Nailed this one. Packers won 27-24 “The Bengals are a walking disaster right now. Andy Dalton is having the worst start of his career and Tyler Eifert is back into injury purgatory (is he hurt? is he not?) so Cincy is a tough pick. The Packers don’t look like world beaters either though with Rodgers throwing a ton of shitty passes while under duress last week. Is Green Bay (-9) points better than Cincy? I say no, I think its a closer game than that as both teams are struggling. Bengals cover.”
Our pick: Bengals to cover. Thats a W. (4-8)

 

Kansas City Chiefs (-3, 46) at Los Angeles Chargers

DING DING DING. I may not get em all right, but when I tell you to put big bucks down, you better be listening. “The Chiefs are rolling, put some big bucks down on them to cover this week…I think KC is one of the best bets of the week to cover.”
Our pick: Chiefs to cover. Thats a W. (5-8)

 

Oakland Raiders (-3, 54) at Washington Redskins

Whoops. Raiders ate a bag of dicks in this game and the R-words got back on track as they topped Oakland 27-10. What is happening in the NFL this week?
Our pick: Raiders to cover. Thats an L. (5-9)

Monday, Sept. 25
Dallas Cowboys (-3, 47) at Arizona Cardinals

At least the Cowboys showed up in primetime to take care of business, despite a fantasy no-show from Cole Beasley, complete with hilarious response. Dak, Zeke and Dez all looked great. Money won is always sweeter than money earned.
Our pick: Cowboys cover. Thats a W. (6-9)

Hoodie Melo Has Been Spotted at OKC Thunder Media Day

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Knicks fans everywhere just pounded their desks with their fists when they saw this photo because as we all know, Hoodie Melo is as close as Melo will ever get to Olympic Melo, who is one of the best players in the world. And I mean if James Jones can rock a hoodie under his jersey and dominate the NFL then who’s to say Carmelo Anthony can’t do the same thing in the NBA?

Lets Gamble! NFL Week 3

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As always, all of our betting lines are courtesy of Westgate so blame them if the numbers change. Its that time once again to start playing fast and loose with our paychecks. Its Week 3 in the NFL, LETS GO.

Overall Record (8-7)
Last week (8-7)

Thursday, Sept. 21
Los Angeles Rams (-2.5, 40) at San Francisco 49ers

Bet this one at your own risk because this has all the makings of an ugly game. But if I HAVE to make a pick, I’m going with the Rams to cover. Goff has looked decent and Cooper Kupp looks like the next young white slot receiver. Its crazy how one goes out (Edelman) and another immediately takes its place, like a goddamn snake.

Sunday, Sept. 24
9:30 a.m. ET (at London)
Baltimore Ravens (-4, 39) vs. Jacksonville Jaguars

SUNDAY MORNING FOOTBALL IS BACK! Bloodys and bacon for kickoff. I LOVE London football because it means there are games on from when I wake up until when I go to bed. Sure, its a shitshow for the teams playing, but hey as long as its not my team. Jacksonville looked good Week 1 and then looked like shit in Week 2. I think that trend probably continues, especially so far from home. I’m taking the Ravens to cover here.

1 p.m. ET
Denver Broncos (-3, 40.5) at Buffalo Bills

The Broncos have looked excellent thus far as they shut down the high powered Cowboys and Ezekiel Elliott last week. They also look like they’ve stumbled onto something with Trevor Siemian under center, throwing four TDs last week. And as much as I love Tyrod Taylor, he’s throwing to a bunch of bums and rookies out there when Charles Clay isn’t catching it. Shady McCoy is still a beast, but I think the Broncos take it to the Bills in Buffalo and cover.

New Orleans Saints at Carolina Panthers (-6, 48)

The Panthers barely got out of Week 2 alive, topping the Bills 9-3, so they’re not exactly firing on all cylinders. The Saints meanwhile are plagued by a swiss cheese defense for what feels like every year since they won the Super Bowl. Cam Newtons been getting banged up, but I think they still have enough to cover over the Saints.

Pittsburgh Steelers (-7.5, 45.5) at Chicago Bears

Bears are a dogshit football team and I cannot advise picking them in any situation outside of them playing the Jets or Browns. Antonio Brown, Leveon Bell, Martavis Bryant? Steelers roll.

Atlanta Falcons (-3, 49) at Detroit Lions

This will be an interesting game to watch. Atlanta got back on track against Green Bay last week and the Lions took it to the Giants on MNF. (-3) isn’t a huge favorite, which is why I’m going with the Falcons to cover. Remember, Detroit beat up on a NYG with a super limited Odell Beckham. Plus they murdered the Giants’ punter too.

Cleveland Browns (-1.5, 40) at Indianapolis Colts

This is the first game the Browns have been favored to win since 2015! So tread lightly here. But I like what I saw out of rookie receiver Rashard Higgins last week (7 catches, 95 yards) and the Colts are still starting the Patriots 3rd-string QB. While it is with great trepidation, I’m taking the Browns to cover.

 

Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Minnesota Vikings (no line)

Westgate had no line on this game. Cool.

Houston Texans at New England Patriots (-13, 43.5)

Jesus christ, another gigantic spread for the Pats to cover. Heavy lies the crown I guess. While I told anyone and everyone to bet their house on the Pats routing the Saints last week, I’m not as confident in predicting a blowout here. The Texans defense is legit, especially upfront. And if you’ve been paying attention over the years, these are the types of teams that usually give the Pats trouble (except for last year when Brissett and co. wrecked them). But Pats also have historically struggled with mobile QBs and Deshaun Watson is that dude. So while I think the Pats win, I’m picking the Texans to cover.

Miami Dolphins (-6, 41.5) at New York Jets

Theres no sugar coating it, the Jets are a brutal team to watch. They put up a decent fight in the first half last week against Oakland before getting stomped out in the second half. But I have very little faith in them week to week. I could see them staying with the Dolphins, but Smokin Jay Cutler looked very efficient last week and Miami’s run game is legit. So I’m picking the Dolphins to cover.

New York Giants at Philadelphia Eagles (-6, 43)

The Giants will continue to be an enigma until Odell Beckham is healthy and right, which who knows when that could be. Like I said last week, until ODB proves to me he is 100% I’m not picking the Giants because they’re just not that good without him. Plus Carson Wentz is playing well and Darren Sproles continues to be the most spry 34-year-old running back I’ve ever seen.

4 p.m. ET
Seattle Seahawks at Tennessee Titans (-3, 43)

The Seahawks offense is rip your hair out frustrating right now as the offensive line is a goddamn sieve. So until that shit improves, Russell looks like Dangeruss again (and saves my fantasy season) and someone takes that RB job (looking at you Chris Carson) then I’m not too confident picking the Hawks. For that reason I’ll go with the Titans and the Duck to cover.

Cincinnati Bengals at Green Bay Packers (-9, 44.5)

The Bengals are a walking disaster right now. Andy Dalton is having the worst start of his career and Tyler Eifert is back into injury purgatory (is he hurt? is he not?) so Cincy is a tough pick. The Packers don’t look like world beaters either though with Rodgers throwing a ton of shitty passes while under duress last week. Is Green Bay (-9) points better than Cincy? I say no, I think its a closer game than that as both teams are struggling. Bengals cover.

Kansas City Chiefs (-3, 46) at Los Angeles Chargers

The Chiefs are rolling, put some big bucks down on them to cover this week. Unless of course the Chargers miss another game winning kick and lose by 2…BUT I think KC is one of the best bets of the week to cover.

8:30 p.m. ET
Oakland Raiders (-3, 54) at Washington Redskins

Taking Oakland all day, especially with how disappointing Kirk Cousins and the R-words have been thus far. Derek Carr and Marshawn will have a day against Washington so I’m picking da Raiders to cover.

Monday, Sept. 25
Dallas Cowboys (-3, 47) at Arizona Cardinals

The Boys are back in prime time and after a beatdown by the Broncos last week look for Zeke, who had a disastrous game against Denver, to get the rock early and often here. Dallas needs that to help keep the pressure of Dak and avoid the dumb INTs. Cowboys cover.

Picking Up the Pieces: How’d I Do Gambling NFL Week 2?

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Season record: (8-7)
Last week: N/A

Somehow we missed the Bills-Panthers in Week 2’s column, so by technicality we get outta here above .500. We’ll try to do better in Week 3. But hey if you’re coming here for gambling advice you have a much larger problem. Enjoy your meager winnings!

NFL Week 2

Texans (0-1) at Bengals (0-1), Thursday
Opening line: Bengals, -3 points

Bengals threw up an absolute stinker, losing 13-9, as people are legitimately starting to question if the Red Rifle is cooked meanwhile Tyler Eifert remains about as healthy as the goddamn bubble boy.
Our pick: Bengals to cover – L (0-1)

Jets (0-1) at Raiders (1-0)
Opening line: Raiders, -14 points

Did not expect the Jets to win, but did not expect the Raiders to cover a 14 pt spread. Cover they did, winning by 25 points.
Our pick: Jets to cover – L (0-2)

Browns (0-1) at Ravens (1-0)
Opening line: Ravens, -7.5 points

Ravens more than covered the -7.5 spread, winning by 14 pts. We got a W in the book!
Our pick: Ravens to cover – W (1-2)

 

Cardinals (0-1) at Colts (0-1)
Opening line: Cardinals, -7.5 points

Cardinals continue to be the definition of mediocre, eeking out a 3 point win over the Colts who were coming off a blowout to the lowly rams. Needless to say they did not cover.
Our pick: Cardinals to cover – L (1-3)

Patriots (0-1) at Saints (0-0)
Opening line: Patriots, -4.5 points

As predicted, the Patriots blew doors, smoking the Saints 36-20, easily covering the initial -4.5 spread.
Our pick: Patriots to cover – W (2-3)

Vikings (1-0) at Steelers (1-0)
Opening line: Steelers, -7 points

After looking like the goddamn MVP of the league, Sam Bradford came back down to earth on his graham cracker knees and the Vikings got smoked by the Steelers 26-9. Thats a no show.
Our pick: Vikings to cover – L (2-4)

Dolphins (0-0) at Chargers (0-1)
Opening line: Chargers, -4 points

Rather than winning by at least 4, the Chargers actually lost by 2 to Smokin Jay Cutler in his first game post retirement. FML.
Our pick: Charges to cover – L (2-5)

Titans (0-1) at Jaguars (1-0)
Opening line: Titans, -1 point

Titans easily covered the -1 pt spread, smoking the Jags 37-16. Blake Bortles continues to drift further and further away from being a respectable NFL quarterback, which is weird because just a couple of seasons ago he was one of the top fantasy QBs in the game.
Our pick: Titans to cover – W (3-5)

Eagles (1-0) at Chiefs (1-0)
Opening line: Chiefs, -4 points

As predicted the Chiefs continued their winning ways, beating the Eagles by a TD, covering the -4 point spread.
Our pick: Chiefs to cover – W (4-5)

 

Bears (0-1) at Buccaneers (0-0)
Opening line: Buccaneers, -6 points

The Bucs kicked the shit out of the Bears 29-7, much to the chagrin of every other Jordan Howard fantasy owner in the world, easily covering the -6 point spread.
Our pick: Bucs to cover – W (5-5)

 

Redskins (0-1) at Rams (1-0)
Opening line: Rams, -2.5 points

As bad as the R-words have looked, its still the Rams and I would hammer a -2.5 point spread every day of the week as Washington won by a TD.
Our pick: R-words to cover – W (6-5)

 

Cowboys (1-0) at Broncos (1-0)
Opening line: Cowboys, -2.5 points

Cowboys were a -2.5 point favorite, which I felt good about, but the Broncos smoked the Boys 42-17, with Hall of Famer LaDanian Tomlinson calling out Zeke for quitting on his team. Great. Swing and a miss.
Our pick: Cowboys to cover – L (6-6)

49ers (0-1) at Seahawks (0-1)
Opening line: Seahawks, -12.5 points

Seahawks were a -12.5 point favorite, which I felt was way too big for a struggling Seattle offense, which turned out to be dead on as the Hawks had to use a late game drive just to barely win. Seattle snuck out of town with a 12-9 win and we all won some money.
Our pick: Niners to cover – W (7-6)

 

Packers (1-0) at Falcons (1-0)
Opening line: Falcons, -2.5 points

I was very confident in Green Bay winning outright despite Atlanta being a -2.5 favorite, buttt nope the Falcons looked like the Falcons of 2016 in their new stadium winning 34-23. Nuts.
Our pick: Packers to cover – L (7-7)

Lions (1-0) at Giants (0-1), Monday
Opening line: Giants, -5 points

This was a tossup as technically Odell Beckham played, but he clearly didn’t look like himself and only had 4 catches for 36 yards. Since ODB himself said this was a 6-8 week injury, I’m not picking the Giants in a close game until I see him back to his old ways. I’m giving myself this one.
Our pick: Lions to cover – W (8-7)

Week 2 Predictions Grade: C+ – Average, not my best effort, room for improvement. You made a little money if you bet every game, but you’re not gonna be buying rounds at the bar or anything.

Lets Gamble! NFL Week 2

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All our betting lines are courtesy of CBS Sports so blame them if the numbers change. Anyways its time to start playing fast and loose with our paychecks now that the NFL season is here. Introducing our new weekly NFL gambling column, LETS GO!

Texans (0-1) at Bengals (0-1), Thursday
Opening line: Bengals, -3 points

I expect a bounce back game from the Bengals, especially with so many Texans players getting hurt on Sunday and of course Brian Cushing will miss the game as he got popped for PEDs again. Not to mention the Texans have a rookie making his first career start on a short week. Take the Bengals and take the points.

Jets (0-1) at Raiders (1-0)
Opening line: Raiders, -14 points

14 points is a TON of points to cover and I just don’t feel confident laying my hard earned cash on the line betting the Raiders win by more than TDs. Look for the Raiders to get ahead and then hand off to Marshawn Lynch all game. Take the Jets to cover.

Browns (0-1) at Ravens (1-0)
Opening line: Ravens, -7.5 points

The Browns actually looked surprisingly competent last week, nearly upsetting the Steelers. Did the Ravens look good last week or did the Bengals really play that bad? Hard to say, especially with the Ravens losing Danny Woodhead last week. I would bet against the Browns putting up solid games in back to back weeks until I see it happen so I’m going with the Ravens to cover here.

Cardinals (0-1) at Colts (0-1)
Opening line: Cardinals, -7.5 points

Holy shit the Colts are even worse than we though and may even be starting former Pats 3rd string QB Jacoby Brissett in this one. The Colts are a full blown disaster without Andrew Luck. Take the Cardinals and enjoy your winnings.

Patriots (0-1) at Saints (0-0)
Opening line: Patriots, -4.5 points

-4.5 points? I would HAMMER the Patriots in this game, there’s no way the Pats don’t win by at least a touchdown coming off that shit show in Week 1 against the Chiefs. Bet the house on it.

Vikings (1-0) at Steelers (1-0)
Opening line: Steelers, -7 points

This is probably the toughest game of the week. Minnesota looked excellent on Monday night and so did Sam Bradford. I think the Vikings keep it close and cover.

Dolphins (0-0) at Chargers (0-1)
Opening line: Chargers, -4 points

Chargers are coming off a 3-point loss to a top defense in Denver while the Dolphins are opening the season with their new QB Jay Cutler. I think Cutler is better than people give him credit for, but its his first game on a new team, lets go with the Chargers to cover.

Titans (0-1) at Jaguars (1-0)
Opening line: Titans, -1 point

I think the Titans and Marcus Mariota in particular bounce back this week, plus with a -1 point spread I’m taking the Titans. The Jags want to play a ball control offense and run it with Leonard Fournette, but I got the Duck this week.

Eagles (1-0) at Chiefs (1-0)
Opening line: Chiefs, -4 points

Nelson Agholor and Carson Wentz both looked to finally be on the same page and had a big week together last week, but after watching the Chiefs stomp the Patriots I’m taking Kansas City here. Alex Smith is not gonna throw for 300+ yards and 4 TDs again, but Kareem Hunt is the real deal. KC covers.

Bears (0-1) at Buccaneers (0-0)
Opening line: Buccaneers, -6 points

The Bears nearly topped the defending Super Bowl loser in the Atlanta Falcons, boosted by rookie Tarik Cohen’s explosive game. -6 points is a lot, but I like the Bucs behind Jameis Winston, Mike Evans and new toy Desean Jackson. Lets go with the Bucs to cover.

Redskins (0-1) at Rams (1-0)
Opening line: Rams, -2.5 points

The Rams looked like a competent offense in Sean McVay’s debut, but they also were playing the god awful Colts in Week 1. The R-words bumbled their way to a loss against the Eagles so I anticipate a bounce back game from them and a big game from Terrell Pryor. R-words cover.

Cowboys (1-0) at Broncos (0-0)
Opening line: Cowboys, -2.5 points

Another tough game to pick, but as long as Zeke keeps dodging that suspension I’m riding the Boys. The Broncos had to eke one out against San Diego last week, so I think the Cowboys cover here.

49ers (0-1) at Seahawks (0-1)
Opening line: Seahawks, -12.5 points

This is gonna be a long season for the 49ers as they embark on a long rebuild. The Seahawks did not look great last week as the offensive line is still a disaster and the musical chairs at RB continue. I think Seattle gets on track this week but 13 points is a big spread, so I’m taking San Fran to cover.

Packers (1-0) at Falcons (1-0)
Opening line: Falcons, -2.5 points

I’m taking the Packers all day on this. Green Bay’s offense looked great in the second half against Seattle last week and the Falcons look primed for a Super Bowl hangover.

Lions (1-0) at Giants (0-1), Monday
Opening line: Giants, -5 points

This all depends on ODB availability. If he’s in the game I’m taking the Giants to cover, but if he’s not I’m taking the Lions to win outright. The G-Men looked hapless without their blonde burner so keep close tabs on that.

The Best of the NFL from Week 1

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After 7 long months, the NFL is BACK. Don’t worry, I watched all the games so you don’t have to. Sure, we had the Pats game on Thursday, but Sunday marked the first day where you could watch professional football for 10+ hours straight. So that is exactly what I did. A lot of bad games yesterday, but NFL Sunday is like pizza or sex. Even when its bad its good.

The fucking Jets man, they just cannot get out of their own way.

Nelson Agholor with an absolute web gem for the Eagles as they shut down the R-Words.

I would say Tony Romo is probably not a fan of the players sitting for the anthem.

It don’t matter if they’re 16-0 or 0-16, Bills Mafia always shows up to play.

After getting his first career INT called back on a penalty, Deshaun Watson gets his first career TD, looking noticeably more effective than Tom Savage unsurprisingly. Welcome to the league rook.

KAAA MEEE HAAAA MEEE HAAAAA

Just a week after being traded to Indianapolis, and just 3 quarters into Scott Tolzien’s season, the Colts turned to former Patriot, Jacoby Brissett.

Much to the chagrin of my Draftkings lineup, the Rams smoked the Colts and on the way Jared Goff resembled a real NFL quarterback.

Russell Wilson played like horseshit for most of this game against the Packers, but he is still fun to watch, making plays like this.

And your nominee for best catch of the week came on Sunday Night Football. Cole Beasley just putting on a show.

Rating Yahoo’s Rankings of the Best Possible Patriots Super Bowl Matchups

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So I’ll save you the pain of imagining a Texans-Cowboys Super Bowl matchup, which Yahoo’s Shutdown Corner had ranked as the worst possible game. Four of the top 5 and 5 of the top 7 potential matchups are all Patriots games too. Who says people don’t wanna see another Pats SB? To the ratings!

7. Patriots – Giants: “Third time’s gotta be a charm, right Pats fans?”

Rating: A+ // This game would be the granddaddy of them all. I would be living off adrenaline and anxiety for two weeks straight leading up to this game. I need to beat the Giants in a Super Bowl more than I need oxygen. It’s like acid in my mouth. Buuuttt, Playoffs Eli scares the shit out of me for obvious reasons and I don’t think I can emotionally handle a 3rd straight SB loss to the Giants. But there coach has a mustache and looks like he’s on a list somewhere so maybe things are different this time. Tread carefully.

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5. Patriots – Seahawks: “Seattle isn’t what it’s been in the past, but it beat New England in Foxborough this season and Super Bowl 49 was an absolute classic. We’ll gladly roll the dice on another round.”

Rating: B+ // This would be another great matchup, the rematch of arguably the best Super Bowl ever with (not arguable) the greatest ending ever. Part of me worries the Seahawks get their revenge, but the last 5 times the Pats have played Seattle have gone: Loss (2016 reg season), Win (SB XLIX), Loss (2012 reg season), Win (2008 reg season). Soo science says the Patriots win this one.

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4. Patriots – Falcons: “This matchup might not be at the front of everyone’s mind, but it has just as much potential for a great game with the league’s top scoring defense (New England) trying to harness the league’s top scoring offense (Atlanta).”

Rating: C+ // I want to rank this higher, but every angle that the media will play to hype this game seem forced. Thomas Dmitroff left NE, built this Atlanta team and is now going against his former boss Bill Belichick, Former Boston College stud Matt Ryan going up against the Boston pro team etc. However it would be pretty interesting to see the NFL’s No. 1 scoring offense (ATL) vs the NFL’s No. 1 scoring defense (NE) and see who takes the title.

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3. Patriots – Packers: “Tom Brady vs. Aaron Rodgers. What more do you need?”

Rating: B- // Yahoo somehow did not mention a SB XXXI rematch?? (Still the best SB logo ever BTW) Belichick was just a young pup in 1996, the assistant coach under Bill Parcells. Think Belichick would love to beat the same franchise his mentor and boss couldn’t? Plus Brady vs Rodgers would indeed be a matchup made in Madden exhibition mode.

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1. Patriots – Cowboys: “Yes, Super Bowl media week would be insane and there’s no way anyone is running out of storylines with Jerry Jones around. But take away the hoopla that would cause TV ratings records to be smashed and we’re still left with a game between two teams that were the best in the NFL from wire to wire this year. If this matchup happens, it’ll be the fourth straight Super Bowl that the No. 1 seeds meet in the Super Bowl.”

Rating: B+ // The two biggest franchises in the NFL. America’s Team vs the Team That Invented America. The parallels are crazy too. A young QB stepping in for the injured veteran, playing so well he keeps the job and leads his team to a Super Bowl title. Shit, no I don’t like the way this is setting up. Luckily the Pats run defense is their strength because Ezekiel Elliot could dominate this game single handedly. In the end though I think Brady and co. make it a track meet and I don’t think Dak Prescott, as well as he’s played, is ready to win that kind of game yet.