Tag: Sonic

The Sonic the Hedgehog Live Action Movie Trailer Just Dropped and It is…HAUNTING

By Red on April 30, 2019 • ( Leave a comment )

WHO IS RUNNING SEGA??

I texted Giorgio about it and he didn’t have a much warmer reaction: “Thats an IP killer. We may never get another Sonic game again.”

I was always a big SEGA guy growing up, more so than the original Playstation (released in 1994) or even Nintendo (1985). The SEGA Genesis came out in 1989 and my next favorite system N64 didn’t come out until 1996. I was even one of the 9 people that owned a SEGA CD system!

So there were some real solid years in there as a young kid with classics like Mortal Kombat 2, Altered Beast, Golden Axe, Streets of Rage, Vector Man. And that doesn’t include the downright impossible to beat games like Echo the Dolphin (fuck that game) and The Lion King.

All of those obviously pale in comparison to the GOAT SEGA game franchise of course; Sonic the Hedgehog. Sonic, Sonic 2, Sonic 3 were all great games. Sonic & Knuckles was awesome because it was basically the first DLC expansion pack I’ve ever seen, introducing Knuckles and the power of flight into those old Sonic games. Sonic CD also had some AWESOME moments like the Metal Sonic boss that mimics all your moves, which was quite the mind fuck for a 7 year old.

So long story short I am a Sonic stan. I most recently relapsed into Sonic fandom with Sonic Mania for Nintendo Switch. SEGA has been run so incompetently they haven’t been able to make a successful game with their most popular IP since Sonic Adventures on Dreamcast.

That was 1998. It’s been 20 years guys. SEGA basically sunk their hardware company because of this and are now forced to lease out their IP as they’ve essentially transitioned into a software company that only develops games.

The story around Sonic Mania is actually one of my favorites because it shows just how bad it had gotten for SEGA. There was this one guy Christian Whitehead AKA Taxman who was porting Sonic games and tweaking the levels on his own and then releasing them online for people to play for free. Via his Wikipedia page:

In 2009, Whitehead produced a “proof-of-concept” video of Sonic CD running on an iPhone using his own custom engine, the “Retro Engine”…Whitehead proclaims that he spent “about a year or so” convincing Sega to let him work on the Sonic CD port. In 2009, a video regarding Sonic CD from Whitehead was taken down, leading Eurogamer to report that Whitehead possibly faced a cease and desist letter from Sega, which Whitehead claimed was false. The port was released for Xbox 360, PlayStation 3, iPhone and Android in 2011. His port was so successful that he was later commissioned to port Sonic the Hedgehog and Sonic the Hedgehog 2 to mobile devices…In 2017, Whitehead, in collaboration with Headcannon and PagodaWest Games, developed and released their own original title in the Sonic series, titled Sonic Mania.

Now I have to give SEGA some credit here because rather than sue his balls off they ended up just hiring the guy and letting him lead the production of the game that ultimately became Sonic Mania. The game itself is excellent too because just when you get comfortable and start to remember the level structure it completely changes and your thrown into something you’ve never seen, so its way more than a port. Its like playing Sonic on acid.

So for all my love of Sonic it breaks my heart to say this movie looks like the first and probably last Sonic movie we’ll ever see. When I first heard about the idea I said theres no way a live action Sonic movie could ever work, but then I saw the trailers for the live action Pokemon movie and it changed my mind completely. The problem is the CGI in the Pokemon movie is incredible whereas the CGI in the Sonic movie is garbage.

Sonic is legitimately haunting.

How did they get that out of this?

I will say Jim Carrey is probably one of the best choices to play a wacky video game villain (doesn’t mean it’ll be good), but I can’t have skinny Dr. Robotnik, can’t have it.

It looks terrible, but because nostalgia is the most powerful drug not named heroin, I probably will go out for a few beers and wind up seeing it out of morbid curiosity. If you’re a sick person like me, Sonic the Hedgehog comes out on November 8th.

All the Top Fast Food Burgers Got an F on Their Meat. Don’t. Care.

By Red on November 19, 2018 • ( Leave a comment )

Yahoo – There could be harmful chemicals in your burger, at least according to a new research report released by the Consumers Union, an advocacy division of Consumer Reports… Only 2 of 25 U.S. burger chains were issued “A” ratings for serving beef that has not been raised with antibiotics. Both Shake Shack (SHAK) and BurgerFi strictly serve antibiotic-free beef to customers…A stunning 22 of 25 burger chains in the US received a failing grade of “F” for not disclosing any intent to stray away from purchasing beef products from antibiotic-free sources. Among those “F” rated restaurants were some familiar names such as McDonald’s (MCD), Burger King – whose parent company is Restaurant Brands (QSR), Jack in the Box (JACK) and Sonic Drive-In (SONC).

Look I don’t go to McDonalds or Burger King or Wendys or Five Guys or any one of the other fast food joints because I am looking for a quality piece of meat. If I wanted that I’d go to a steak house. So when this story came across my desk it seemed like another gigantic waste of time and money so scientists can prove something we already know; fast food burgers are trash.

Now what? The last moderately useful breakthrough in these food science experiments was seedless watermelons.

It is pretty disheartening to see one of the all-time great cheeseburgers In N Out being grouped with the likes of White Castle. That one hit close to home considering it’s literally the first place I hit when I go to Vegas or LA.

This is slanderous really.

Shoutout to Shake Shack though for getting an A on this test. Burger Fi also got an A, but that place was open on Comm Ave for approximately 6 months before getting shut down. Sooo I can’t say I’m super confident in that franchise as a whole.

All these “breaking news” food studies always do the exact opposite of what the nerds with the test tubes intended anyways. You think I’m going to stop eating McDoubles now?

HA!

Literally every time I see Supersize Me, the OG “stop eating fastfood” initiative, the first thing I do is drive straight to McDonalds and crush a Big Mac.

So to the nutritionists and the vegetarians and the scientists looking to take down fast food, I leave you with this:

Breaking Down Polygon’s Top 500 Video Games of All-Time

By Red on December 7, 2017 • ( Leave a comment )

So the VOX Media gaming site Polygon just released its Top 500 Games of All-Time. I’ll save you the scrolling, but I guarantee you’ll be disappointed with No. 1. You’ve been warned. With so many classics making the list though you’re sure to have some serious nostalgia dopamine dumps here. So take a look at the list highlights and then dive into what I think are some of the most glaring omissions from the Top 100. Throwing a pity ranking in the 200’s doesn’t count. If these games aren’t in the Top 100 then someone is asleep at the wheel.

No. 70 – Final Fantasy 7 – Never played it myself, but considered by many to be the best game ever.
No. 66 -Madden NFL 2005 – EA changed the game forever with the introduction of the Hit Stick. No more needs to be said.
No 60 – Goldeneye 007 – The first first-person-shooter that everyone got together and played for hours on end.
No. 50 – Mass Effect 2 – One of my personal favorites. Mass Effect was one of the first games to master the concept of making choices and having those choices affect the game’s story and eventual ending.
No. 43 – The Sims – Everyone built a pool without a ladder so your character would drown. Man, kids are sick.
No. 42 – Halo: Combat Evolved – If you were like me and didn’t have an Xbox when Halo dropped, you soon became best friends with a kid who had an Xbox.
No. 39 – The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time – Epona is my spirit animal.
No. 26 – NBA Jam – Still play this game to this day when back home for the holidays with my brother. Nothing like a Best of 7 series over an 18 pack of Rolling Rocks.
No. 25 – Metal Gear Solid – Incredible franchise with the best storytelling of any game ever made.
No. 21 – Super Mario Brothers – Its what got us all into video games. Should probably be No. 1 itself.
No. 16 – Super Mario 64 – This is when I realized I wouldn’t just be playing video games as a kid. This is when I first understood that video games could be something special.
No. 12 – Grand Theft Auto 3 – And this is when I understood how games would keep me entertained at any age; open worlds where you could do whatever you wanted, incredible story telling, and a great way to blow off steam by racking up a 5-star rating.
No. 7 – World of Warcraft – Not for me, but hey you gotta respect the legends.
No. 6 – Ms. Pacman – Get the FUCK out of here with this. The 6th greatest game of all-time is Pacman’s wife?
No. 5 – Pokemon Red/Blue – The first game I played non-stop. I still have my cinder block game boy with scotch tape and cardboard on the back to keep the batteries from falling out. Realistically I must have logged 80 hours in this game over the years. I even have Pokemon Red stashed away in my drawer so no one accidentally deletes my file because I have all 151. Thats right, I got that sonofabitch Mew at a South Shore Plaza giveaway when I was like 11.
No. 2 – Super Mario Brothers 3 – Mario dominating this list for good reason.
No. 1 – Tetris – Really? Reeeallly?

Not surprisingly a lot of Mario in the Top 100, the most popular gaming franchise of all-time. But you got duds like Ms. Pacman and Tetris dominating the Top 10? Wrong.

Omissions from the Top 100:

- - - Mario Kart 64 (#197) – In fairness, the SNES version of Mario Kart made the Top 100, but the N64 version is the GOAT. Probably the only old game I still routinely play with friends. Its evolved over the years to a pre-game staple while drinking with buddies before going out. Not many games can say that after 25 years.
  - - Sonic the Hedgehog (#191) – One of my favorites growing up, Sonic is what kept SEGA in business. The fast as lightning blue hedgehog is one of the most iconic characters in gaming history. Its the reason the opening is forever etched into my brain….”SEEEGAAAA”
  - - Mortal Kombat 2 (#146) – How Mortal Kombat didn’t make this list is outrageous. The single greatest fighting game of all-time. Terrible oversight here.
  - - Fallout 4 (#430) – As you get into your twenties and start having to work a real, adult job for 40+ hours a week, you naturally have less time to devote to massive open world games. Which is why Fallout 4 was such a pleasant surprise for me. It was my first entry into the series, but the trailer sold me. Some 40 hours later I had traveled across the post apocalyptic world, made alliances, friends, and enemies all while building up my arsenal to go from just some guy who woke up from a cryogenic freeze like Austin Powers to becoming the most powerful being in the world. Pretty cool trip. Not to mention reviving that absolute banger “The Wanderer” after all these years.
  - - Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask (#331) – Zelda had 3 other entries make the Top 100 so its hard to be too upset, but Majora’s Mask is what made that franchise legendary in my opinion. One of the few games to adopt the concept of time travel effectively without just confusing everyone.
  - - GTA Vice City (#105) – Incredibly this franchise had 4 entries in the Top 100, but I routinely go back and forth which is the best GTA of all time. Is it 3 or is it Vice City? Can’t go wrong with either, but both are better than San Andreas. Vice City is only one of a handful of video games that I actually bought the soundtrack too.
  - - Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 2 (#102) – Revolutionary game that the industry has been unable to replicate to this day. It made skateboarding and big air for everyone, not just the kids ripping cigs outside your high school. Another game with an all-time classic soundtrack that whenever I hear any of the songs from it like “The Impression That I Get” by the Mighty Mighty Bosstones, it instantly transports me back to my parents basement and that old Playstation.
  - - Star Fox 64 (#484) – Used to play this game so much growing up that it got to the point that I would wake up, blow through it, and smoke Andross from the back entrance all before leaving for school. Way too low on this list.
  - MVP Baseball 2005 (#270) – Simply put the greatest sorts game ever made. What a goddamn shame this was the last one in the series because the MLB games SUCK. RIP MVP, another one taken too son. Another game with a cult following. In fact if you’re so inclined there’s a guy who still mods it to this day with up to date rosters.
- Sonic Adventure (unranked) – Another game that gets virtually no love because it was on the Dreamcast, which was a very underrated system. It was the first to incorporate interactive memory cards. For whatever reason (probably the immense competition with Playstation, SEGA, and Nintendo) it never took off. Which is a shame because Sonic Adventure is one of the best Sonic games of all times. It was the first one to really tell a coherent story and you got to play multiple characters across a huge world.

Shenmue (unranked) – This is one of those games that most of my friends never actually played. In fact I accidentally stumbled into it as a byproduct of Dreamcast never really having a huge library of games, but it was one of the first open world games with incredible, cinematic storytelling. In fact the game was so beloved, that the originally cancelled third and final game in the series is set to be released in 2018 after being entirely crowdfunded by fans on Kickstarter. Polygon dropped the ball on this one for sure.

Obviously everybody will have their own personal favorites based on what they grew up playing so what do you think? What games did they miss? What should have been ranked higher?

I Need These Custom NBA Jam Jordans Like I Need Air

By Red on August 25, 2017 • ( Leave a comment )

I don’t think I’ve ever needed something as badly as I need these video game sneakers. So FreakerSneaks makes all these custom Jordans and they are so choice. They got all the classics like NBA Jam, Super Mario, Duck Hunt, and Sonic. There’s stunting on people and then there’s stunting on people in totally custom NBA Jam Jordans. $1,200? Swipe swipe. So slap these on my Christmas list today mom and dad. Just look at the details though, they even have the championship screen shot on the tongue.

But lets not forget some of the other beauties like the Jordan Sonic: Marble Zone 1. If these kicks don’t take you right back to the glory days of playing Sega in the basement then I don’t even want to know you.