Tag: Super Bowl LII

I Have Legitimately Grown Emotionally Attached to Tom Brady and Bill Belichick

By on • ( Leave a comment )

I have grown so emotionally attached to Tom Brady and Bill Belichick I don’t know what I’m going to do when (if) they ever retire. It was similar with David Ortiz; I grew up with these guys. Sure I remember watching the Pats get their teeth kicked in by Brett Favre and the Packers in Super Bowl XXXI when I was a youngling, but I wasn’t really a fully functioning human being until a few years later. We’ve experienced the highest of highs together like 2001 when they pulled off the greatest upset in SB history, going back to back in 2003-04 with the addition of veterans like Rodney Harrison and Corey Dillon to an already stacked team. Of course the Malcolm Butler interception and the 28-3 comeback against the Falcons. And I’ll never forget the lowest of lows. As they say, losing hurts more than winning feels good. The 2007 Super Bowl and David goddamn Tyree who probably sells car insurance now. Mario Manningham and that ridiculous catch in the 2011 Super Bowl. Sigh.

And then of course all the teams in between: the 2006 AFC Championship game collapse against Peyton Manning and the Colts, the 2010 home loss to Ray Rice and the Ravens, the AFC Championship game loss to Peyton Manning and the Broncos in the 2015 season.

I think thats why I literally have found myself becoming emotional these past couple of weeks. Last year it was Tom Brady nearly breaking down at Media Day before the Super Bowl when a little kid asked him who his hero was.

This year its Belichick wearing his dad’s hat to Minneapolis.

The other night I witnessed Tom fighting back tears in his Tom vs Time series when Mr. Kraft gave Tom’s mother a Super Bowl ring as she’s been kicking cancer’s ass. So much dust in my living room.

Its crazy because I’ve never met these guys, but I feel like they’re a part of my family and THAT is why all of this will never get old. People say oh you’ve won enough let someone else have a shot. Not a chance. As the infamous Don Draper once said. I’m not happy with 50% I want all of it.

These Are the Stakes the Patriots are Playing for in Super Bowl LII

By on • ( Leave a comment )

Its almost here. Its the last day of cube life before Super Bowl LII. We’ve had boots on the ground to bring you into the Super Bowl Experience, we’ve provided you with Patriots porn, we’ve got you ready to run through a wall for this team, now its time to really analyze this. What are the stakes? What are the Patriots really playing for here?

I for one will be leaving the office at 5:00 pm on the dot like one of the iron mill workers in the Simpsons.

Its officially Super Bowl weekend. Here are the stakes.

Tom Brady, Bill Belichick, and Robert Kraft are going for their 6th ring together.

Tom Brady is already the all-time winningest QB, he’s already stuffed Joe Montana in a locker. Now he’s looking to take the all-time GOAT title from Michael Jordan. And despite what that walking hot take Doug Gotleib says,

https://www.facebook.com/plugins/video.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2FTheHerd%2Fvideos%2F2148729945348193%2F&show_text=0&width=560

A win on Sunday makes Tom Brady hands down the greatest athlete of all-time. Big Z already laid out the perfect rebuttal.

Bill Belichick is playing for a fresh paint job on his boat.

Historic radio calls. If the Patriots win Sunday, they HAVE to play the Gil Santos audio right? Like Bob Socci and Zolak have to just turn off their mics and play Gil’s call don’t they? “BACK TO BACK, THREE OUT OF FOUR!”

Tom vs Time will win a goddamn Emmy if it ends with 40 year old Tom Brady winning the league MVP and his 6th Super Bowl ring.

Similar to 2004, the Pats are expected to lose both their offensive and defensive coordinators this offseason, so winning back to back Super Bowls would be a hell of a way to go out for Patricia and McDaniels a la Romeo Crennel and Charlie Weis before them.

Do people realize that if the Patriots win it sets up an opportunity to conquer yet another NFL legendary record? No team in the history of the league has ever won 3 Super Bowls in a row? 19-0 will likely never happen and that absolutely breaks my heart, but winning back-to-back-to-back Super Bowls would likely never be matched.

The mental well being of the annual asshole who got the Super Bowl champions tattoo before the team actually plays the game:

Brady, Belichick and RKK getting up on that podium, accepting the Vince Lombardi Trophy and telling Seth Wickersham, Max Kellerman, Bart Scott, Dan Shaugnessy, and every other click-baiting miserable hater 4 beautiful words:

BREAKING: GRONK GOOD TO GO! YO SOY FIESTA!

By on • ( Leave a comment )
Image result for gronk spike

 

ProFootballTalk – Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski will play Sunday as he said he would earlier this week.

Doctors have cleared Gronkowski from concussion protocol, according to Ian Rapoport of NFL Media. Gronkowski is scheduled to meet with reporters at the team’s media availability at 5 p.m. ET, via Rapoport.

LLLLLET’S GO! The news everyone assumed was coming has indeed arrived. Gronk has been cleared from the concussion protocol and been given the green light to play on Sunday after taking quite the shot from Barry Church in the AFC Championship Game (for what it’s worth I had no issue with the hit – just an unfortunate by-product of how fast the game has gotten).

Out loud, it was widely assumed by Patriot nation that Gronk would be cleared to play. However, in the backs of all our minds, in the caverns and nooks and crannies where we dare not go when we are alone and the lights are out, there was that doubt that our all-Universe Gorilla of a Tight End wouldn’t be able to play leaving a 6’6 275lb hole in our offense.

WELL FEAR NO MORE. He is good to go. We are good to go. The reigning. Defending. Undisputed. Champions of the world. Super Bowl LII. GIVE ME ONE MORE TOMMY!

The 300s Reviews: Super Bowl Experience

By on • ( 1 Comment )

IMG_2699

Super Bowl LII will be played in Minneapolis Sunday night which means thousands of fans and celebrities from across the nation and around the world will be descending on Minnesota for The Big Game. Countless thousands more who, like myself, can’t afford tickets to The Big Game will be descending on the Minneapolis Convention Center for the Super Bowl Experience.

The Super Bowl Experience has been described as an indoor theme park and, based on the lines to run the 40-yard dash or kick a field goal, that description is accurate. I spent about four hours milling around the convention center and it was eerily reminiscent of my high school football playing days – a lot of standing around. There were also a lot of younger fans in attendance, so there were a few times where I felt like Homer Simpson in the power plant model-building contest.

Image result for homer simpson model power plant

Still, it was fun to run the 40, throw a Hail Mary pass and kick a field goal once I got up to the line of scrimmage.

For the record, my field goal attempt was the highlight of my night. Tucked it just inside the left upright from “40” yards out.

In between sprints and kicks I refueled with SpaghettiOs, Chunky Soup and Skittles.

If you haven’t tried Sweet Heat Skittles yet, just imagine Sriracha Skittles. (Yes, they were gross.)

There were also lots of other NFL, Super Bowl and Hall of Fame exhibits to peruse in between time spent waiting in line.

Image result for star wars you were the chosen one

IMG_2698

“It is a period of civil war. Breakthrough research on chronic traumatic encephalopathy, arbitrary and capricious disciplinary suspensions and declining television ratings have all cast a shadow over the game…”

IMG_2728

The line to see the Vince Lombardi Trophy (through glass) had to be the longest line in the building. I decided to snap this picture from outside the line, in between fans walking up to it, and call it a day.

The Super Bowl isn’t in town often, so people will put down good money to try to take in the experience without thinking twice. That’s why I’m glad I went, but at $35 a ticket I won’t be running back. Good, not great. Ready to watch the game from my couch on Sunday.

Big Z Super Bowl Experience Rating – 6.6

Some Patriots Porn Courtesy of Colin Cowherd to Get You Jacked Up for the Super Bowl

By on • ( 1 Comment )

Its difficult to see, hear, and read everything going on this week leading up to the Super Bowl, but this Colin Cowherd video below is an excellent use of your time. Cowherd goes into what makes the Patriots so damn successful; they’re a business operation.

https://www.facebook.com/plugins/video.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2FNewEnglandPatriotsFanClub1%2Fvideos%2F1685281368202789%2F&show_text=0&width=560

  • “When you watch a Patriots game there is a trust between the fans and the team; they’ll get it right.” [after bad losses] “They immediately fix it because thats what the academics do in life.”
  • “The Patriots are the billionaires of the NFL. They have created a system that is reliable, consistent, without emotion. They are capable of avoiding cultural issues, rule changes, and injuries. They’re not beholden to any one employee. And what they did yesterday is what they’ve been doing for years. A systematic consistent dependable product.”
  • “They don’t lead the NFL in penalties, they don’t fumble, they don’t get emotionally crazy, they adapt constantly and they drive you crazy. And I never grew up as a Patriots fan, but the Patriots aren’t a football operation, they are a business operation.”
    “Look at their Super Bowls, they are a David Tyree helmet catch from 6-1. They don’t blow anybody out. They never have. I’d argue in all seven Super Bowls they’ve been the least talented team, but they’re always the smartest, most reliable, most consistent, most prepared.”
  • “They are not a football team, they’re a business operation. They are boring. So is wealth.”