Tag: The Masters

The Masters Was an Instant Classic and I’m Happy for Tiger Woods, But My Wallet is Not

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Joey B previewed The Masters last week and boy was this year’s event a doozy. That was a full four days of entertainment. From watching in between meetings at work on Thursday and Friday to sitting my ass on the couch all day Saturday and then waking up early on Sunday to watch the last 5 or so hours. It was an instant classic.

The Masters was awesome last year too with Patrick Reed swooping in and snatching the green jacket like an 80’s movie villain. Just an emotionless robot looking rich kid with ice in his veins. Reed finished at a just ridiculous -15 to win the event. I watched last year at my house and then at the bar before heading in for a Celtics playoff game and it was thrilling. So I figured 2019 would have a tough time topping what was such a great event last year.

Really all you’re hoping for is that Tiger is in contention come Sunday. I know a lot of people say that, but it’s true. Whether thats a reflection on the absolute void of exciting and entertaining personalities in golf is a valid question. Either way though, Tiger is must see TV when he’s within reach of victory. Going into Sunday he was just 2 strokes back and there was about 6 or 7 guys all within 3 strokes so it was going to be a battle. Add in the fact that they pushed everyone’s tee time up on Sunday because of an incoming storm and it was Tiger time before I even had my morning coffee. It was too early the perfect time to crack that first Sunday morning Bud Latte too.

Tiger looked like a man on a mission, but a couple of gimme putts he missed had me thinking he just wasn’t going to have enough in the tank.

The legend of Tiger has faded a bit in recent years, or so I thought. Less and less do we see guys just wilting under the mere presence of Tiger on their six. Well lucky for us the guy Tiger was chasing, Francesco Molinari, is exactly who he was paired up with on Sunday morning. So every time Francesco tee’d off, Tiger was staring a fucking hole in the guy’s back. And Molinari could *feel* that.

With a two stroke lead he started to melt when he put his first shot in the water on No. 12. Even Tiger’s caddy, Joe LaCava, was shocked:

LaCava said that Tiger was all business after Molinari, inexplicably, put his tee ball in Rae’s Creek. For LaCava, it wasn’t something he saw coming. Molinari, who’s so steady it’s borderline infuriating, wasn’t a player you’d peg as a candidate to drop a ball in the water on the back nine of a major.

“[Molinari]’s one of those guys, he’s not going to go away,” said Lacava. “I was a little surprised he hit it in there. I was thinking this is a perfect 8 iron for him, it’s probably a smash 9 iron for us. I actually thought he was going to hit not to two feet, but 15 feet left. I was very surprised. Things definitely changed.”

The cameras cut to Tiger and you can see his eyes come to life.

It’s like when Eminem gives the mic to Papa Doc in the final rap battle and he slowly realizes that Papa Doc just doesn’t have anything left.

After that it was a wrap. Tiger slowly but surely chipped away at Molinari’s lead before just having to two putt on 18 to win The Masters. No problem.

It was an incredible scene to watch and say what you will about his past transgressions, but I love a good comeback story. People thought his career was over, his back was in shambles and here he was putting for his fifth green jacket.

It means so much more to him these days too. I first saw it at the PGA Championship last year where he narrowly lost to Brooks Koepka and he walked off and hugged his kids and looked like he was about to cry, but in a good way. Like he was beaming with pride because all though he didn’t win, he was healthy, he played his balls off, and his kids saw it.

He was a fucking legend back in the day, a complete force of nature, but his kids were too young to see that. Tiger even said it in one of his interviews Sunday, for the longest time he was just “the YouTube golfer” to his kids. So for him to be dominant and winning majors in front of his kids who are now old enough to understand and appreciate what they’re seeing is a huge change for Tiger. And now the chase of Jack Nicklaus’ 18 majors is back on.

It wasn’t all gumdrops and rainbows though as the price of admission for me seeing Tiger return to his former glory was a shit ton of my own money. I had Brooks Koepka at +2,500 and Xander Schauffele as my longshot at +4,000 to win The Masters. Both of them finished ONE stroke behind Tiger. That hurt. Xander was a guy I bet on solely because of how confident my barber was in telling me to do so just a few weeks ago. So I thought well I’ll feel like a real schmuck if I ignore this divine intervention and Xander goes on to win. Welp, my guy was gunning for it late and missed a couple of putts, but would have at least gotten into a playoff or even won it outright if not for Tiger. Tiger picked a great day to pull a vintage performance out of his ass.

The 2019 Masters is Here – So What We Got?

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CBSSports –  With an 87-man field featuring generational talent going head-to-head at Augusta National, rarely has such a call ever been more difficult.

All eyes are on Rory McIlroy this year as The Ulsterman looks to complete his career grand slam, but there’s some stiff competition throughout the field, namely from many of his young contemporaries like Dustin Johnson, Justin Thomas and Rickie Fowler. Of course, we would be remiss without mentioning Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson, both of whom are among a litany of names looking to add another green jacket to their respective collections.

That time of year again indeed. Golf’s most important and most blowhardy tournament kicks off in Augusta to see who wins the Green Jacket. You have the best of the world on the links, pimento cheese sandwiches, and Jim Nantz engaging in acts of self-oral copulation the likes of which the world has never seen before.

As a casual but steady golf fan I have to say this season has so far gone by….quietly. Normally by this time I am FIRED up for tournaments like this but this year I am barely getting into the swing of things (pun unintended). I think it is a mixture of 2019 sort of crawling along, the weather sucking, feting Red in Vegas sucking the soul out of me, and not having made it out onto the course myself that has made this season a bit more inconspicuous than normal.

The odds-on for this one, as I’ve listened and read the past week or so, is Rory McIlroy. He hasn’t finished outside of the top ten this year, or in the last few tournaments, or something and has always done exceptionally at Augusta historically. Although to a casual observer it may have seemed like Rory fell off the past couple of years, he actually has finished pretty well. I also think he was a bit banged up here and there whereas he now appears to be 100%.

Justin “The new breed of hating fun” Thomas is also a name to watch. He’s just been riding a hot hand for awhile now so you can never really count him out. Same goes for ‘Cesco Molinari who won the British last year and another big one earlier this year, I forget which.

In terms of dark horse names to watch, I’ll toss you a couple. Cameron Smith has seemingly come out of nowhere to be a pain in the ass in the past few tournaments. He’s faded down the stretch also but should start pretty hot. Old Eldrick Woods is definitely going to come out gunning although we’ll see for how long. A few other old names like Schwartzel, DJ, and Adam Scott could also make a run at this. And you can’t forget about the most talented receding hairline of all-time, Jordan Spieth.

So sit back, crack a beer, avoid any and all contact with Patrick Reed and his family, and enjoy. Let’s hope it’s a nail-biter to the end and we get some fun golf. Otherwise the tournament will be boring and we’ll never hear the end of Patty Blackout’s bitching.

See you out there.

-Joey B.

Was Sunday the Best Sports Day of the Year?

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Sunday may have been the best sports day of the year with the Red Sox, Celtics, and Bruins each playing home games all while the final round of The Masters was going on.
Patrick Reed won his first green jacket yesterday and I don’t think anyone summarized that battle down the stretch better than the wifey:

Reed had a slim lead heading into the final 9 and Rory McIlroy, Jordan Spieth, and Rickie Fowler were all gunning for him. Reed was putting his body on the line though, broken hands be damned.

Rory couldn’t capitalize on a couple of missteps by Reed and imploded himself so he was out, but Spieth was putting on an absolute show shooting -9 on the final day to almost come all the way back to take it, finishing 2 back.

Rickie Fowler once again sexed up the whole course with his wardrobe:

Fowler quietly and maniacally hunted Reed down like the goddamn Terminator and almost pulled it out. It ultimately wasn’t enough as he finished 1 back as Reed set himself up to 2-putt his way to the victory. I watched the last 2 hours of The Masters at a bar by the Garden and the energy was awesome.

During all this, the Red Sox were getting their teeth kicked in on Sunday afternoon and after starting the year 7-1 I wasn’t too broken up about it. Eduardo Rodriguez looked lights out in his first start back since knee surgery with 7 K’s through 3 innings though.

Throwing 73 pitches in 3 innings is not exactly peak efficiency though. So I left my house and headed to the bar to watch the end of The Masters. After sitting down with a couple Bud Lattes the bar had both golf and the Sox on and it was some of the best TV I’ve seen all year. Boston orchestrated a huge comeback scoring 6 runs in the bottom of the 8th inning. All with two outs in the inning. Incredible.


Kind of a kick in the junk that Xander Bogaerts got hurt as he’s been red hot absolutely crushing the ball. But this team looks real good so far. I’m not gonna get crazy after a bunch of W’s against teams like the Rays and the Marlins who are likely going to set baseball back 20 years in the state of Florida this season, but hey you play who’s on the schedule.

Meanwhile the Celtics and the Bruins, who both lost in uniquely painful ways, played back to back games at the Garden. Props to the crew thats responsible for flipping that arena from a basketball court into a hockey rink in like 2 hours. The C’s blew a game to the Hawks that they should have won, but this team is fighting tooth and nail with bench players as we head into the playoffs.

Once the C’s wrapped up the Bruins were going against the Panthers and just need a W to clinch first place in the East. Now they obviously lost following a listless effort from the team, but the buzz around the city was palpable on Sunday.

AND to top it all off it was Rene Night with the Bruins honoring the legendary National Anthem singer who is retiring after 42 years with the team. I was at the game last night and let me tell ya, the crowd was Fired. Up. about Rene. I think possibly more so than they were for the actual game. The Bruins also really dug deep with the giveaways, completely mailing it in by giving away Rene Christmas Ornaments (in April) that were from 2010 to random rows of fans.

There were sports on TV basically from the time you got out of bed until the time you went to sleep. You don’t get that very often, but Christmas came early yesterday.

The LPGA Is Implementing A New, Very Strict Dress Code and People Aren’t Over the Moon About It

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AOL – The Ladies Professional Golf Association (LPGA) is under fire for “body-shaming” its female players after the organization introduced a stricter dress code including longer skirts and no plunging necklines. A reporter for Teen Vogue magazine wrote, “we don’t see why someone can’t look professional in leggings. If anything, policing these women’s bodies and clothes takes away from their professional accomplishments. And if the sport wants a positive image, body-shaming is not the way to get it.” The new dress code, according to Golf Digest, includes no “plunging necklines,” and “leggings, unless under a skort or shorts, are not allowed.” Additionally, “length of skirt, skort and shorts MUST be long enough to not see your bottom area at any time, standing or bent over.”

Little insight from your old buddy Danny C here folks, if you’re a regular old Joe Schmo chances are people are not going to take it well if you tell chicks what to where, especially if it has to do with certain body parts. So you have to be OUTSIDE OF YOUR FUCKING MIND if you are a major organization, especially a sports league, to publish something so tone deaf like this.

First and foremost is the fact that I like to think I have a general knowledge of the LPGA. I know who Michelle Wie is, I have a blog in the works regarding my love for recent Women’s PGA Championship winner Danielle Kang, I followed the dominance of Annika Sorenstam, etc. Also, while at a bar, having lunch or whatever, if the LPGA is on I’ll watch it. Maybe it’s not the Masters, but it’s still better players than me with different strategies to consider. With that said I have never, ever seen a competitor on an LPGA course or during an LPGA event and said anything along the lines of, oh I don’t know, “Ok girl. Ok girl I see you.” It just doesn’t happen.

And to be clear I get any professional environment needs a dress code, but the LPGA is just stirring the pot here for no reason. Sure you have Wie twerking on IG and Paige Spiranac (who’s basically retired anyway) burning down every off-the-course medium in general, but that’s their personal social media accounts and their prerogatives. They’re young people who like being young. Watch “Murder She Wrote”, take a nap, and fuck off, LPGA.

The other thing that is a little irksome is the timing of this decree, in the middle of the season. I never understand decisions like this. If you are going to overhaul what these 9-iron wielding minxes are wearing on the course, why wouldn’t you do it between seasons or during a lull? Why now?

The fact that the LPGA caused this mess for themselves is completely asinine. You have a young, likable champ in Kang. Golf is growing ever popular. Although she may not like what she wears or how she presents herself (my guess is?) Spiranac is bringing more attention to women’s golf than ever and you react by being what amounts to the fun police? Oh and can I just mention I’m friends with enough chicks (humblebrag) to know that sometimes they just get fucking hot, same as guys, so in the middle of the golf course on a dog day of summer I’m sure, yes, wearing a little a less probably does help. Idiots.

P.S – I’d be doing everyone a disservice to not quickly mention that there is nothing worse on planet earth than White Knights and the fact that most of the people internet-mad in the above article are dudes. Hey guys LPGA golfers aren’t going to find you more attractive because you defend their right to Amish country-slut it up on twitter.