Tag: Tyrion Lannister

The 300s Breaks Down the Game of Thrones Series Finale

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Obvious Spoiler Alert: If you haven’t caught up on Season 8 of Thrones yet come back later.

Full disclosure, I know this aired two weeks ago, but my cube life has been consumed with more work than your average bear so lets just roll with it…

After 73 episodes and nearly a decade of television, Game of Thrones came to its long awaited conclusion, after reaching a critical mass in pop culture (to its own detriment) this season.

Name a show that ran as long as Game of Thrones did that ended well. Its not easy to do after years of growing fandom and the expectations that come with it. The Sopranos? I thought my TV died. Lost? Nope. Dexter? *shutters* Hell even Seinfeld’s finale was a disaster.

So a show that started out as a weird fantasy world with politics intertwined into every scene became a media juggernaut and with that came the weight of expectations from not only the diehard fans but now the people that binged the first 7 seasons out of peer pressure just to catch up in time. I did the same exact thing with Lost and it made it so much easier to rip on the show’s missteps and banish it to “garbage tv” when the finale didn’t satisfy my expectations. I think we saw a lot of that this season in Thrones as twitter and Facebook were overflowing with criticism. While I think the show earned plenty of deserved criticism (the goddamn pacing), it also was getting roasted for minutia like a Starbucks cup that nobody noticed until an eagle eye viewer tweeted about it. I’m not here to apologize to disappointed fans, but people need to put their experience into perspective.

You can love a show and criticize it at the same time.

Game of Thrones was an incredible series and probably my favorite show of all time. Thrones has a 9.4 rating on IMDB overall, but the final season was rushed and it will forever bug me how this show could have gone down as the GOAT if they just took the time to work in a few more episodes (or even another season) to properly justify certain character storylines (the Mad Queen) and motivations (Jaimie returning to Cersei).

My only complaint with the final season is that most of the character’s final scenes make sense, but how we got there doesn’t necessarily fit. So lets break down some of the key highlights from the last episode of Game of Thrones.

The shot of Khaleesi with the outstretched dragon wings behind her was just an incredible visual and devilish cinematography.

The Queenslayer

Jon Snow battled with his love, his honor, and his duty to finally kill Khaleesi and officially become the Queenslayer. Tyrion threw one reason after the next at Jon trying to convince him why Khaleesi needed to die, but even though he knows Tyrion is right Jon can’t  bring himself to say it. The only thing that gives him pause is when Tyrion asks what he thinks will happen when his sisters refuse to bend the knee. In the end Jon had to hear it from Khaleesi directly and hear her delusions of grandeur growing as she spoke. Khaleesi, as Tyrion said to Jon, believes she is just and good and is destined to make the world a better place. She doesn’t see it as murdering innocents, she sees it as freeing the people and starting a new world void of tyrants. It kiiiind of sounds a lot like ethnic cleansing as George RR Martin’s Game of Thrones is rife with criticisms of war and what often comes with it. Once he hears the delusions from Khaleesi he knows that she can’t leave that room.

Small criticism here. I know that Jon has been alone with Khaleesi plenty of times and Drogon was laying outside the front door, but where are her guards? Theres not one soldier protecting the new Queen of the Seven Kingdoms? I think that scene would been a little more convincing if Jon had to kill a couple of guards while struggling with his moral guilt, but I suppose its such a powerful reverse course because he has to kill her and *only* her.

In the ultimate irony, Khaleesi never actually sat on the Iron Throne. Tough break.

Visions Are Never Wasted

A+ foreshadowing from the show that became known for never wasting a word or a shot as Khaleesi’s vision from Season 2 of her walking through the Throne room was dead on. Except what we all thought was snow falling for the better part of a decade, was in fact ash.

Drogon Grieves

Drogon melting the Iron Throne was one of my favorite moments in GOT’s long history. Theres a scene from early in the series when Tyrion talks about how dragons were once though to be smarter than people. This was an emotional moment as Drogon senses something is wrong, after Jon stabs her, and flies to the Throne room only to see whats happened before heartbreakingly nudging the lifeless Khaleesi.

Preparing for death by fire Jon readies himself, but Drogon looks at him and then at the Iron Throne before unleashing hellfire on the throne as if to say it was this damn chair that killed her. Pretty brilliant distinction for a dragon to make in that moment.

You want to talk about breaking the wheel, this is how you break the wheel.

Another callback was how they actually decided on the new King because before the episode I was talking with the Mrs. about how Khaleesi never decided on a plan of succession. Back in Season 7 Tyrion tells her about how the Iron Islands pick a leader, how the Nights Watch votes on a leader etc. and she blows him off saying we’ll figure it out once I have the throne. Well they had to break out that plan of secession a lot sooner than Khaleesi would have ever expected.

Tyrion’s Faith Waivers

After following Khaleesi blindly for multiple seasons, Tyrion had begun to waiver a bit in Season 8. He saw the Tarlys burned alive, he learned of Jon Snows true lineage, and he had those treasonous discussions with Varys (before he too was burned alive). Despite all that, Tyrion still felt Khaleesi would “do the right thing.” Well after she went the other way on that one and burned down Kings Landing, Tyrion finally reaches his breaking point when he sees the buried bodies of his siblings underneath the Red Keep. It’s a pretty powerful moment because despite all their flaws, despite the fact that his sister literally wanted him dead, he still breaks down and weeps when he sees what has happened to Jaime and Cersei. They died because of him and breaks him.

I Can’t Believe They Made the Backpack King

In a scene that seemed more Benioff and Weiss than it did Martin, there was a council meeting comprised of the most important lords and ladies of Westeros. There were the Starks, the Vale (including an older Robin Arryn whom the internet got a little too excited about – he’s 18), the unnamed “New Prince of Dorne,” even Yara Grejoy. They all give their thoughts on who should be King, but its a speech from the best actor on the show in Tyrion that unites them all. Rather quickly I might add…

Whether it was a character decision made by the showrunners or a directive from Martin himself I don’t know, but Bran’s transformation into an emotionless (read: sociopath) and largely boring character the past two seasons has been a head scratcher. This massive point in the story would have been a lot more powerful if Bran had ANY sort of character development or at least on screen relationship with any of the other characters. Instead it looks like a guy drawing the short straw to lead the group project that nobody is eager to take on. We never really get a true understanding of why Bran is the Three Eyed Raven, why it matters beyond the fact that he remembers neat history tidbits, or why anyone should really even care. Sure, he is the memories of men, but why does that matter? Why did the Night King want him dead so badly? As The Ringer puts it:

The purpose of Bran’s position as the Three-Eyed Raven, moreover, is only shallowly explained, which seems important when the basis for his assumption of the throne rests on his ostensible role as storyteller. Earlier in Season 8, Bran tells the assembled war council at Winterfell that the Night King wants to kill him because he is the world’s memory. But his predecessor lived isolated from the world, huddled in a cave far beyond the Wall, not sharing that memory with any living human. He’s not the first Three-Eyed Raven, either, Bran reveals, but rather just the latest in a long line of memory holders, The Giver–style. How can we square one Three-Eyed Raven who lives apart from humans and one who rules them, and assume they fulfill the same strategic function?

It is odd for Bran to have gone through so much yet have it mean so little in the grand scheme of things. And I’ve watched enough time travel movies to understand why he can’t just come out and tell everyone what will happen in the future. So when Bran responds to Tyrion’s offer to be King “Why do you think I came all this way?” I don’t really quarrel with that. The people that died to get him there though miiight feel a little different.

Pivoting to perhaps my least favorite character on the show in Bran after years of build up for a sudden twist fell a little flat for me. This is something that required a more thorough build up of Bran’s character and motivations (not someone who literally wasn’t in Season 5) in order to justify. The Ringer again summarized this frustration perfectly:

More importantly, for a show that has disregarded or downplayed so many elements of the fantasy genre since surpassing Martin’s books, the turn to the character most connected to those very fantasy elements at the end underwhelms. If Bran were to become king, why cut him from a full season of the show?

I will say this show is the ultimate when it comes to misdirection. How many times did people mention how Bran was now the Lord of Winterfell only to have the Three Eyed Raven reply he didn’t want it? And how many times did we hear Tyrion and Varys talking about how the best ruler is the one who doesn’t want it? We always thought they were talking about Jon Snow when it turns out it was Bran the Broken.

We all knew Khaleesi had to die one way or the other and I think it would have been a little too predictable for Jon to be made King at this point. So while I don’t like Bran being named King, I would have been just as mad if he did nothing this episode and literally served no purpose for 8 seasons.

It was a little too clean how quickly we went from Jon murdering Khaleesi, to Jon being the Unsullied’s prisoner, to Grey Worm 1.) letting the lords and ladies vote to choose a new King and 2.) immediately listening to Bran because he’s been king for all of 90 seconds.

I will say the show did a great job of wrapping up most of the character’s storylines for better or worse. While the final season was ill paced, every character’s final actions all made sense, just not necessarily how and when they got there.  Grey Worm taking the Unsullied to Naath to tell stories of Missandei and retire to a place where the people are peaceful, Arya taking a Stark ship to explore the unknown, Sansa becoming Queen in the North, and Jon going back north of the wall with Tormund and GHOST!

Must have been a tough couple of weeks for the writers to swallow their pride after everyone on the internet ripped them for not having Jon pet Ghost when he left Winterfell. “Just wait two weeks you morons!” Although, after seeing how quickly the Starbucks cup was digitally removed, it would not surprise me if Benioff and Weiss just filmed that scene and threw it in there last minute to appease the masses.

Sansa is and Forever Will be a Boss

They name her little brother King of Westeros, and her first reaction is basically “I love you, I think you’ll be a great ruler, but…No, we are the north. We’ve seen all the nonsense thats come from the seven kingdoms.” Think about it. Sansa’s entire life has been filled with hardships all because of that damn iron chair. Her grandfather and her uncle died at the hands of the King sitting on the Iron Throne. Her father died because he wouldn’t take the Iron Throne from Joffrey (and Cersei). Her brother Robb died trying to avenge their father and overthrow the King from the Iron Throne. As they say, the Stark men don’t fair well in the capital. So it doesn’t matter if the King is her own brother now; the North gained it’s independence, it rebelled against the Baratheons/Lannisters, it overthrew the Boltons, and it resisted Khaleesi. The North will remain independent as it was for thousands of years before the Targaryens landed in Westeros.

I don’t know about you, but I’m turning my attention back to the Game of Thrones books now to fill the hole in my life. I’ve only read the first one so hopefully by the time I finish whats left George RR Martin will have finished at least one new novel. I have to see how Martin decides these same characters get to these decisions or whether they go in an entirely different direction.

Jon Snow and Daenerys Targaryen’s Short Lived Romance

What made the whole Jon and Dany story feel a bit stilted to me really had nothing to do with the writing or the show runners; the two actors just seemingly lacked chemistry. Especially when compared to Jon’s first love interest on the show, Ygritte, which I guess isn’t necessarily fair to compare since Jon and Ygritte literally got married in real life. But hey thats what actors do; they pretend

You could really feel the passion between Jon and Ygritte and all the trials they went through from Jon taking her prisoner, to Ygritte saving his life, to Jon breaking his Nights Watch vows to her untimely death. When Ygritte was killed at the Battle of Castle Black it crushed Jon Snow and changed him forever. I just never felt that passion between Emilia Clarke and Kit Harrington. Obviously it was a storyline that wasn’t too hard to see coming with their romance, their conflict, and her ultimate death, but I never felt like the two characters really dug each other. It had to just be a chemistry thing too because Khaleesi’s scenes with Khal Drogo and even with Daario Naharis felt very real. I know Jon Snow is the brooding, stoic character from the North, but so was Ned Stark and his early scenes with Katelyn Stark just laying in bed together showed a couple truly in love. So I didn’t truly feel that “love is the death of duty” in the finale of Thrones, but thats not necessarily the show runners’ fault.

  • What was the point of the Night King at all?
  • Why did the weirwood trees allow Bran to see visions?
  • The symbols that the white walkers used to seemingly taunt the children of the forest with; what was that about?
  • What ever happened to Jaquen Hagar?
  • Why didn’t Aria ever use her Faceless Men tricks after killing all the Freys?
  • Why

Soo while no show will ever approach Lost territory in terms of unanswered questions, Game of Thrones left me with a lot of loose threads that I though would have at least been referenced. In the end, this whole GOT world shows us just how great of a television series an 800 page novel can become, but the wheels certainly came off a bit when Martin’s guidebooks dried up. Once he stopped plotting the hows and the whys (and a lot of the dialogue word for word), Bennioff and Weiss lost a bit of the shine. It also will forever piss me off that these two hit the Wrap It Up Box on one of the most successful shows of all time so they could write a couple Star Wars movies.

All in all, Game of Thrones started off strong, became one of the most influential shows in television history, and staggered a bit to the finish line, but will forever be remembered as a series that changed television forever.

 

 

PS – Peep the poster for Season 1 below… The answer of who would sit on the Iron Throne was IN FRONT OF US THE WHOLE TIME!

The 300s Game of Thrones Meme of the Week Award: Episode 5

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Obvious Spoiler Alert: If you haven’t caught up on Season 8 of Thrones yet come back later.

Oh man that episode was a doozie and the meme makers of the internet did NOT disappoint. So lets get right into the best of the best. The 300s Game of Thrones Meme of the Week Award goes to the one below because it was my exact reaction when watching the same scene.

Honorable Mentions:

 

And while I think some of the criticism has been more than fair, the internet is reallyyy dumping on Benioff and Weiss so here are a few aimed at the showrunners in particular.

The 300s Game of Thrones Meme of the Week Award: Episode 4

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Obvious Spoiler Alert: If you haven’t caught up on Season 8 of Thrones yet come back later.

Game of Thrones memes have always been around as they have for any pop culture sensation, but I feel like they have gone into overdrive for Season 8. Every week there seems to be 50 new and hilarious memes for each episode. So I figured it was only right to launch The 300s Game of Thrones Meme of the Week Award.

The winning meme for Episode 4 has to go to the one below because it once again preys upon my simple brain’s love for combining pop culture icons.

Honorable Mentions

The 300s Breaks Down Game of Thrones S8E4: “The Last of the Starks”

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Obvious Spoiler Alert: If you haven’t caught up on Season 8 of Thrones yet come back later.

“The Last of the Starks” was an A+ episode for Game of Thrones as the show got back to doing what it does best. Despite the less than glowing reviews of Episode 3 (second lowest rated GOT ep on Rotten Tomatoes), I rewatched it yesterday and actually enjoyed it more the second time. Once you get over the fact that its dark and chaotic and not as many central characters die as expected its actually a pretty good episode. However it has become clear that Thrones (at least the TV show) never intended to have the battle with the White Walkers as the end all be all. In fact in the Ep 3 Inside the Episode, showrunner David Benioff actually describes the dead as “one of the main storylines” of Thrones. The key word there is “one.”

Is that reason enough for Thrones fans to be upset? Sure. Especially because if the White Walkers were never going to be the central storyline of the entire show (its literally the focus of the first scene of the first episode of the first season), then the showrunners were at best creating the longest slow play of all time with the Night King arc or at worst intentionally misleading viewers until they could quickly finish that story in order to move onto the last geopolitical conflict; the final game of thrones. Maybe I’m too big of a Thrones fan to be properly pissed off about that entire scenario, but I have repeatedly said I am going to wait until the season is finished so I can see the whole picture before deciding one way or the other. Thrones is getting alarmingly close to LOST territory though with a whole lot of questions that could remain completely unanswered. We’ll see.

So now that they’ve defeated the White Walkers, Thrones was able to turn its attention back to its biggest strength; the actual game of thrones. The character dialogues, the plotting, the lying, the simmering tensions. This was the best episode we’ve seen all season.

Lets talk about that emotional opening as the survivors mourn the dead from the Battle of Winterfell. It was always going to be a tearjerker when Dany said goodbye to Jorah and we see the dead bodies of characters like Lyanna Mormont, Lord Commander Edd, Theon and the rest, but when the camera pulls back and we see just how many pyres there are being lit, we get a much better understanding of just how many lives were lost. I think its one of the best shots in the show’s history because it conveys so much without a single word.

I thought this was an excellent episode, but I’ve tried to be fair in my assessment each week and this season has been bordering on a Wrap It Up Box situation. After years of slow playing situations and storylines we are now moving at a lightspeed pace, which has me questioning the decision to only shoot 6 episodes for the final season. Granted the showrunners were undoubtedly waiting for George RR Martin to finish the books (which led to extended stays for Dany in Essos and Bran on his way to the Three Eyed Raven) before ultimately deciding to push past the books and finish the show with just some guiding points from Martin.

But this season has been pegging characters into some roles quicker than I would think is realistic. I’m not one of these assholes that is stomping their feet because Dany can get to Kings Landing in a ship in 5 minutes. I’ve played video games since I was a kid; fast travel and respawn points are a good thing guys. However, Dany is turned from savior to nearly becoming the Mad Queen in a span of 4 episodes. Now don’t get me wrong, she has all the character development points necessary to get there with her army being decimated fighting the dead, her role as the rightful heir to the Iron Throne being questioned, and now her best friend Missandei being unnecessarily murdered BUT it all just seems a little quick for a show that has been thoughtful and methodical with its pacing for years.

Remind me not to tell Sansa a secret any time soon because she blew up Jon’s spot about his true lineage in a matter or minutes. For some reason Sansa just does not trust Khaleesi and maybe she sees something that everyone else is blind to because they either love Khaleesi, they admire her, or they fear her. Sansa has none of those emotions towards the Dragon Queen so maybe its more than just being spiteful; maybe she really doesn’t believe she’ll be a good ruler. We’ve all come to agree that Sansa has become one of the best political minds in GOT having been trained by one of the best in Littlefinger, living a hellish life with the likes of Joffrey and Ramsay, and yet has come out on the other side as one of the power players in Westeros. So maybe we need to start treating her disdain for Khaleesi as more than just unnecessary drama. Either way, she confides in her former husband Tyrion saying “What if there were someone better?” and officially rings the bell that cannot be unrung. What if Jon isn’t only the *rightful* heir to the Throne, but what if he’s the best one too? He probably would make a better ruler being a lot more measured, unemotional, and of course loved by the people of the North at least.

However Khaleesi put her ass on the line and decimated her army and her dragons to save the North and probably Westeros as a whole, so you can’t discount that just because she’s come off as increasingly bitter in each episode. Shit, I’d be bitter too. A classic Thrones power struggle continues to grow, made only more interesting with the fact that Jon wants no part of it. As the great Tywinn Lannister once said “Any man who must say ‘I am the king’ is no true king.” Maybe we’re seeing shades of that coming into play as Khaleesi tells anyone and everyone that she is their queen, whereas Jon never wanted to be King in the North, yet his role as king literally saved the realm.

Khaleesi actually begs Jon to bury that secret, which is something we’ve never seen her do. She’s been enslaved, beaten, nearly assassinated, raped and endured all kinds of terrible times, but she’s never begged anyone for anything. Is she unraveling or this just her political hail mary because she knows if Jon tells Sansa the truth she’ll never have an iron clad claim to the Iron Throne.

Also, Brandon Stark, Lord of Winterfell, the Three Eyed Raven, and last true born son of Eddard Stark has approximately 160 minutes left to not become the most useless character of all time. Up until now his most important contributions to the show include

  • Getting the Three Eyed Raven Killed
  • Getting Hodor, Jojen, and his direwolf Summer killed
  • Leading the Night King straight to Winterfell
  • Giving Arya the dagger that she needed to kill the Night King
  • Telling everyone about Jon’s true parents

Thats about it for the freshly minted Three Eyed Raven. I never really loved Bran’s storyline, but I figured the writers were building up to something bigger. Well that was a pretty big “nope” after the Battle of Winterfell. Sure I’ll give him partial credit for giving Arya the dagger, but thats considering I’m going out of my way to acknowledge that a dragon glass dagger probably wouldn’t have had the same affect. So here we are Bran. You have two episodes and 160 minutes to prove the dozens of hours devoted to watching you get dragged through the woods was worth it. Prove me wrong.

Bronn of the Blackwater is back! He basically makes a deal with the Lannister brothers that they need to pay the debts they so famously always pay or they’re both dead. It wasn’t exactly the bro reunion many had expected, but somewhere inside that cutthroat there is a heart of gold. It would have been shocking and unfitting for Bronn to just coldly murder his two best friends. Whether they have the pull to guarantee High Garden to Bronn as sufficient payment remains to be seem, but something tells me not all of these characters will be around to see that the debt has been paid.

Jon’s goodbye (or lack thereof) to Ghost was one of the sadder scenes of all time. This dog lost a goddamn ear fighting your war, Jon. Ghost was actually the first POP action figure I ever bought years ago so needless to say I feel like our canine friend deserved better. Now I fully admit I am one of those crazy dog dads, but come on Jon you’re not even going to give him a scratch behind his ear? That direwolf went beyond the wall with you and saved your ass on more than one occasion. Well, the internet was fully behind me and some are even completely off #TeamJon for the Iron Throne because of it.

At least he’ll be safe and in his element in the icy north, but boy was that sad. I guess if I’m going to wrap my own brain into a pretzel it was the right decision because we’ve seen how irresponsible Khaleesi is with her own animals.

Speaking of…holy hell we lost another dragon and I cannot emotionally handle it. Just one week after thinking another of Khaleesi’s dragons bit the big one because of her careless landing spot in a war zone, we were blindly led to its slaughter yet again. And I fucking called it. Probably because I am a Thrones psycho, but after seeing the dragon struggling to fly earlier in the ep and then seeing him back to full strength I knew something was off. Thrones never shows you something by mistake (except for that Starbucks cup). I literally said out loud “oh look the dragon is all better again” IMMEDIATELY followed by “oh no now he’s going to die–ARROW.” Euron Greyjoy ambushed Khaleesi and her fleet and gave us yet another heart wrenching dragon death. Jesus christ Khaleesi can you please keep these dragons a safe distance away from all possible dangers? Especially if the only thing that can kill them apparently are arrows and ice javelins, which have a pretty precise range of fire, and especially if you’re just cruising past the place you intend to destroy. Maybe be on the lookout for danger? Worst dragon owner of all time. She will probably get her last child killed next week too and I want no part of watching that.

I won’t spend too much time on the love circles, but Jaime gets with Brienne, which breaks Tormund’s heart in yet another scene stealing moment, but then Jaime leaves in the middle of the night to return to (kill?) Cersei. I don’t know if Jaime just can’t kick that toxic relationship or if he just feels responsible for her and thinks he needs to kill her himself. Either way I think Jaime will play a prominent role in the death of Cersei. Maybe he dies at the hand of Arya and has his face used to sneak up on Cersei or perhaps he is able to get past the Mountain (who nearly executed him last time he was in Kings Landing) and Euron (who thinks Cersei is carrying his child) to get to Cersei?

Now that the news of Jon’s lineage is spreading, people like Sansa and Tyrion and Varys are starting to wonder who might be the rightful (read: better) ruler of Westeros. Varys seems pretty keen on the idea of switching sides, openly discussing what Tyrion describes as treason. They raise a legitimate question about Khaleesi’s state of mind. She seems to be slipping further into mad king territory and is ready to destroy the very city she seeks to liberate. Is Varys ready to jump sides in the best interest of the realm or was he merely testing Tyrion’s resolve? I don’t know but I do know that Thrones is at its best when characters like Littlefinger (RIP), Tyrion, and Varys are plotting and scheming.

In another shocker, Missandei gets executed in one of the most unnecessary, ruthless and cold blooded moves in Thrones history. Cersei executed someone for the sole purpose of inciting Khaleesi’s fury. Its a move that Tywinn would have been proud of as we all know that emotional decisions are often the worst decisions. Khaleesi looks like she is about to do something reckless to avenge her beloved friend.

We do see that Jon and his army arrive for the next episode, but my god I did not realize just how undermanned the Unsullied army has become. While the show makes it a point to say Cersei and Khaleesi’s armies are now unsettlingly “even” in size it sure doesn’t look that way. Not to mention we have the whole Golden Company army waiting in the wings despite zero character development. I honestly don’t know how she’s going to take the city as her dragons have proven highly susceptible to the scorpion arrows, but Khaleesi is about to burn that bitch to the ground.

We’ve heard time and time again that the citizens of Kings Landing hate Cersei, that the common people don’t care which “high lords play their game of thrones, so long as they are left in peace,” so its possible that if someone can take out Cersei the rest will welcome Khaleesi with open arms. Probably not if she starts raining fire on the city though.

My god am I jacked up for next week’s episode.

The 300s Breaks Down Game of Thrones S8E3 AKA The Battle of Winterfell

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Obvious Spoiler Alert: If you haven’t caught up on Season 8 of Thrones yet come back later.

In what was one of the most anticipated episodes in TV history, Game of Thrones finally unveiled the “Longest Consecutive Battle Sequence Ever Committed to Film” with S8E3 “The Long Night” AKA The Battle of Winterfell. Similar to Season 6’s “Battle of the Bastards,” this was a military operation through and through. (This episode was directed by Miguel Sapochnik, who also directed “Hardhome” and “Battle of the Bastards”)We got less of individual heroics and more of armies legitimately going to war with hordes of people and wights (temporarily at least) getting slaughtered. It was violent, it was dark, and it was hectic. I’ve heard some complaints about this episode and to be completely honest I need to rewatch it to fully digest everything that happened in the episode’s 82 minutes. Needless to say the internet is divided; the NY Times says the episode “exceeded expectations” while USA Today complained about the cinematography calling it “too dark.”

It was the longest episode in Thrones history and it was packed with action so my feelings below are subject to change after I’ve had a little more time to sit with it. With that being said, lets break down the biggest storylines from S8E3:

For the Night is Dark and Full of Terrors. Mainly Dark Though.

I’m not going to spend too much time on this because I understand it was done intentionally for affect, but one of the first things I said at the start of the episode was this is difficult to see. And that was while I was watching from an almost completely dark room. So I get the thinking, but thank christ for the dragons and Melisandre adding some light to this episode or I wouldn’t be sure what actually happened.

House Mormont Goes Up in Dust

Lyanna Mormont goes out like a G and takes down a wight giant while weighing all of 95 pounds. She really did prove that “every man from Bear Island fights with the strength of ten mainlanders.” RIP Lyanna.

I do have a bone to pick with the way we handled my man Jorah Mormont’s last moments though. We all knew Jorah was not long for this world. He is the archetype of the aging knight who will die to protect his queen. The musical montage of Jorah fighting off wights left me wanting more though. Maybe its because I just wasn’t ready to say goodbye to Jorah. Maybe its because I am dead inside after having just watched Avengers Endgame right before this episode, but it seemed to be lacking. Maybe a line or two of heartfelt dialogue would have tied things up a bit more for me. RIP to Jorah Mormont one of the realest to ever take the screen and a character we’ll all remember forever.

The Dragon Battle in the Clouds?

This was tough to follow, but for people complaining about it; thats the point. It was supposed to be disorienting, hard to see, and anxiety inducing. If the Night King is just flying around in plain sight then 2 dragons>1 dragon every day of the week, so it shouldn’t be a surprise he was trying to level the playing field with outside factors. With that being said it was definitely tough to follow and at the end of the scene I wasn’t entirely sure what had just transpired, but dragon on dragon action is always sweet. For having a dragon for about a week, the Night King knew how to fly that thing 100x better than the Dragon Queen though and thats a fact.

Fire Cannot Kill a Dragon (or the Night King)

As I predicted in my recap of Episode 2 last week, we saw that the fire of a dragon cannot kill a White Walker. In fact it can’t do shit to them, at least not to the Night King who took a flamethrowing Dracarys blast to the face and came out grinning. It was really quite jarring and one of the most underrated scenes of the episode, one that I think people are forgetting. Thats exactly why I am telling people to back and watch this episode a second time before deciding whether you loved or hated it.

Khaleesi used dragon fire. Its not very effective.

Valyrian Steel though?

 

The Night King Gets Got

As my fellow blogger Giorgio put it; “8 seasons for the Night King to make it to the Westeros equivalent of Nashua.” Dude didn’t even sniff the Iron Throne.

Credit to @BuckeyeMike23

Apologies to everyone who bought the Night King Iron Throne pop figures already.

Arya has now solidified her role as the MVP of Game of Thrones. She had a slow season as the show meandered a bit with her story arc in Bravos, but it paid off big time. She has become THE most lethal character in Thrones history. She legitimately snuck up on a gaggle of White Walkers and almost knifed the Night King before he could even turn around. In what looked like yet another suicide mission, turned into one of the most stunning moments in recent Thrones history when she dropped her dagger and stabbed the Night King in effortless fashion. Arya has been working on this move for years and in fact is a direct call back to her sparring session with Brienne of Tarth in Season 7.

Incredible scene. We’ll get to what this all means for the overarching story in a moment, but holy hell Arya has skyrocketed up the Thrones Power Rankings.

Jon Snow Nearly Meets His End Again

I have to give props to the Night King for not falling to pride like we’ve seen Jon Snow and the realms of men do time and time again. Pride is a sin of men so it made sense for him to make the cold, calculated decision to rise the dead yet again rather than try and take on the greatest warrior in the Seven Kingdoms in a sword fight dick measuring contest.

He’s seen first hand what Jon Snow can do with a (Valyrian) sword in his hand so why take the risk? It’s reminiscent of when Jaime Lannister challenged Robb Stark after he was taken prisoner following the Battle of the Whispering Wood. He challenges Robb to decide the war one on one. To his credit Robb says, “If we do your way Kingslayer, you’d win. We’re not doing it your way.” 

Jon also nearly gets lit up by the Ice Dragon and essentially decides to give himself up and go out in a blaze of blue firey glory.

For a second I thought we might see Jon Targaryen showing his immunity to fire like a true Targaryen, but the Mrs. pointed out something critical. Way back in Season 1 when Jon saves Lord Commander Mormont from the wight, he grabs the lantern and burns his hand before throwing it at the undead creature.

A direct contrast to when Khaleesi, a full blooded Targaryen, grabs the dragon eggs off the hot coals and is uninjured.

WTF Was Bran Doing?

I understand that he is a cripple in a wheelchair so theres not much he can really do in terms of fighting, but he was particularly useless in this episode. Bran spends 45 minutes basically just worging around Winterfell to get a bird’s eye view of the action, while offering nothing in terms of actual help to anyone. I feel like there is something more still lingering in terms of what Bran is there to offer the story, but I can’t put my finger on it. At least we can dispense with the moronic “Bran is the Night King” theories finally. Right?

Melisandre and Beric Dondarrion Fulfill Their Purpose for the Lord of Light

In what was one of the most intriguing storylines in show history, the red priestess fully redeemed herself with a comeback for the ages saving the day with some incredible fire spells. You have to believe that Melisandre went back to Essos specifically to train at the temple of the Lord of Light. Now that she has fulfilled her purpose and died “in this strange country” we’ll probably never get a clear answer. Melissandra coming out of left field to light up the Dothraki’s swords and then the spiked trenches was an all time Thrones moment though. Thats before we even mention the pep talk for the ages that she gave Arya though.

I won’t insult anyone’s intelligence by pointing out the source of Melisandre’s quote about death though. If you have to ask you don’t deserve to know. It really is crazy to look back on Melisandre’s storyline though; she’s been with Stannis, and of course when she first meant Arya back in Season 2 with the Brotherhood Without Banners.

Incredible.

Then we have Beric fulfilling his destiny and saving Arya’s life which obviously allows her to take out the Night King. It was some sick poetic justice though as Beric has been asked multiple times why the Lord of Light keeps bringing him back and he always answers, I don’t know. So for him to sacrifice himself to save Arya while on his 7th life was a valiant and fulfilling way for Beric to go.

Sam Gets Another Brother of the Nights Watch Killed in Edd

Jesus christ, Sam. Tarly better have another redeeming moment because he ignored everyone’s advice to stay off the battle field and when he couldn’t fight and need to be saved, which we all knew he would, Edd gets a knife in the face for saving Samwell yet again.

Khaleesi Gets Another Dragon Killed

Correction: The dragon is not dead, he can actually be seen in the preview for S8E4, which I missed in my post Avengers/post Thrones delirium. Carry on.

Khaleesi has to be the worst caretaker of Dragons to ever walk the Seven Kingdoms. And thats saying something considering her ancestors used to chain dragons up until they wasted away. What did she think was going to happen landing the dragon in a field of mindless, savage zombies? Well exactly what we all expected did happen and Khaleesi is down another dragon leaving her with only one. I think I get more emotional when a dragon or direwolf dies than any other human character does, but then again I am a total schill for animals.

RIP Theon

Theon goes out with honor and pays the iron price once and for all. Protecting Bran in the godswood was a suicide mission and everyone knew it. Kudos to Bran for having his first human moment in 2+ seasons and telling Theon the only thing he’s wanted to hear since he confided in Maester Luwin while wracked with guilt after taking Winterfell; “You’re a good person.” He killed dozens of wights to protect Bran while he worged around to essentially watch the action with a bird’s eye view and offer little in the way of actual help. After a lot of really cowardly moments over the past few seasons, Theon went out like a warrior trying to take down the Night King himself.

On the Lookout for the Fake Out

Maybe I’ve just become too used to the George RR Martin misdirection shock and awe storylines, but I refuse to believe this is the end of the story. I know the showrunners David Benioff and DB Weiss have veered off from Martin’s original source material a bit as they have passed the books, but he obviously has still given them the roadmap of how to get to his intended ending. So I just refuse to believe we’ve built up the Night King for 8 years only to have them go out just before the end of the story only to leave us with a battle for the crown. Maybe that was his goal the entire time? To truly have it all come back to a literal Game of Thrones? I don’t know, but I said it last week and I’ll say it again, if they kill the Night King and the remaining episodes are just a battle for the Iron Throne I will be a bit disappointed. Theres plenty of story left to wrap up still, but it seems like a missed opportunity not to mention a world of confusion to just let the White Walker storyline fade into dust like a Thanos snap. So I am on full alert on the lookout for the fake out. Whether it’s something as it relates to Bran, maybe the Children of the Forest make a comeback or maybe it’s not the last we’ve seen of the White Walkers. We’ll see next week, but its getting real now…theres only three Game of Thrones episodes left. Ever.

Valar Morghulis.

 

Who Lives and Dies On Game of Thrones? Predictions for The Battle of Winterfell

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Blogger’s Note: This probably containers spoliers/implied knowledge of things that happened through S8E2 of “Game Of Thrones”. So, if you have not caught up or just generally don’t like reading predictions I’d stop here. I will say I did my best to avoid using anyone else’s prediction or outside knowledge (the books, interviews with show execs) of the show.

As I start writing this it dawned on me that it is kind of ironic that this fight is now happening, as Jon Snow has been to an almost annoying degree shouting from the rooftops it would, before the battle for the Seven Kingdoms. We spent so much time caring about the deft political maneuvering and violent means to political ends in this show we almost forgot about the army of the dead.  As a matter of fact, we were so consumed with what the final outcome of the war for control of the realm, we probably did forget at times.

But here we are. The battle of Man vs. The Dead. Good Vs. Evil. And things don’t look so great, as we knew they didn’t. To reference a hero from a different classic of the fantasy genre, much like Harry Potter knew for a long time he had to die to kill Voldemort, we’ve known for awhile that many of the characters we’ve come to love would die in the war against the dead. It’s just how it was to be.

This is “Game Of Thrones” though. Predicting who is going to die when and why and how has always been about as easy as predicting which way a chicken will run after its head gets chopped off. I think we’ve learned a little though – there have been nuances, signs, and lines we’ve been trained to pick up on. For some audience members, there have been gut feelings they’ve been trained to either carefully listen to or harshly ignore.

Without any further fanfare, here are my predictions for the fate of many of our favorite characters. I’ve organized them into the following categories of post-Battle Of Winterfell status:

Definitely Dead
Probably Dead
I Have No Fucking Idea
Probably Alive
Definitely Alive

Now I know a philosopher would question the difference between the two “probably” categories”, but the difference is easy: I have an inkling either way. A feeling. Something deep down that is telling me either that that character is as good as dead or has a few more breaths to take.

 

Definitely Dead

Jamie Lannister – The show’s incestual first true villain gets to die a hero. I mean, he has one hand that he still can’t fight for shit with. This will probably play into Cersei saying the baby is Euron’s.

Theon Greyjoy – Like Jamie, Theon finds his redemption in death. Out in the woods guarding Bran, Theon’s newfound bravery will allow him to go out on his shield. One of the more complicated legacies the show leaves behind.

Edd – Other than Samwell Tarly, Edd is Jon Snow’s last remaining Night’s Watch brother who is given any recognition/a speaking part. It sucks he survived the attack on Castle Black for this but I don’t see him going any further.

Beric Dondarrion – With his last life used up thanks to Thoros of Myr dying, it’s curtains for Beric. Him and his flaming sword will give it a ride and it will unfortunately run out of gas,

Bran – Soooo this is an odd one because can Bran reallllyyyy die? Is he totally a mortal? He’s kind of half-man hald-Giver who answers questions likes he’s a teenager on mushrooms being questioned by a cop. So idk if “dies” if quite the word but Bran’s shit is getting fucked up.


Probably Dead

Ser Davos Seaworth – He’s notably noted that he’s notably bad at fighting 100 times. There is also just not much use left in the plot for the Onion Knight. The only reason I didn’t sail Davis past the “probably” and “definitely” section and straight to “I’m flying to Winterfell and killing him myself to put him out of his misery” is because the show has inexplicably kept him alive this long.

Sansa Stark – I just can’t see the showrunners deciding to throw this party and not give us one true, blue heartbreak. Sansa would be a huge one. The whole “the dead are coming but you’ll be totally safe hiding amongst a bunch of dead people” thing doesn’t help her chances. I could say the same for a few more but I have a feeling about Sansa.

Jorah Mormont – Another tough pill to swallow. Is cured of the incurable just to die this way. In an odd sense, his death is similar to Jamie/Theon in that he has definitely redeemed himself by giving his life, but IMO he’s redeemed by now anyway.


I Have No Fucking Idea

Arya – Arya’s whole storyline, if you think about it, does little for the plot. However for some reason I think the show keeps her and her still lengthy list in play for reasons I’ll get to later.

Tormund – Like Davos, there aren’t a ton of reasons they’ve kept him around this long except for comic relief. I could see this going either way, especially, like Arya, if another key character makes it. More on that later.

Varys – Yo where is he?

Ser Brienne Of Tarth – This one I’m the most unsure of in this category (not overall….). The amount of times she’s pledged her life to the Stark girls makes me think she bites it, but the fact that I’m not sure both/either/or die makes me wonder.

Tyrion – The loss of Tyrion would absolutely fucking suck. He has been the breakout character of the whole show. But in terms of those heartbreakers I mentioned before, this is another one I’m not convinced they don’t have up their sleeves. He also made a cryptic to comment to Jorah and I thinnnnnk Greyworm(?) about taking his job soon? At the same time, I thinkhis wit just might be too important to kill off.

Probably Alive

Jon Snow – It would seem unlikely that they’d kill him right after revealing his lineage, but in the past this show has taken “unlikely”, popped a few viagra into it, and fucked us with it. He could also play into the same reasons as Arya and Tormund that I mentioned I’ll get into later. I’m just not ruling Jon dying out completely.

The Hound – This is nothing but pure instinct. As I write this I now see him getting ripped to shreds a la Hodor but I’m sticking with my gut. They’ve kept him alive, time after time, for a reason and unlike poor Davos he can actually fight.

Samwell Tarly – Another gut pick but I think Sam serves one more purpose at some point, using his knowledge and bookishness.

Greyworm – Between Jorah and Greyworm, I feel like one has to live, for reasons below. I’ll go with Greyworm. I’m saying it now I’m least sure of this pick out of all of them.


Definitely Alive

Daenerys Stormborn of the House Targaryen, First of Her Name, the Unburnt, Queen of the Andals and the First Men, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Breaker of Chains, and Mother of Dragons – Here’s the thing folks. This is episode three. There are six episodes total. EVEN IF this battle carries into episode four there are two + episodes left for a showdown with Cersei Lannister. So Man, as in Mankind….kind of has to win? Unless there is a complete and utter curveball where the dead wipe out the North and the rest of the show is White Walkers vs. Cersei? Anddd let me tell you the spinoff “Cersei” would be about as interesting and would work about as well as “Joey”. This directly relates to Jon, Arya, and Tormund and whether or not they live or die, as I alluded to above. If indeed mankind triumphs, why not keep Arya in the mix and try and cross a couple more names off her list when she makes it down south? Why not let the lovers/Aunt and Nephew go together? If Jon is still around he’ll need the Wildling army and to have that he needs Tormund’s influence. The fates of all those folks are intertwined.

That was emotional, I’m not going to lie. I have a buddy who is an actuary and I kind of feel like him right now. Hedging whether or not folks bite the bullet or not. But this is “Game Of Thrones”. This is what we signed up for. Valar Morghulis.

-Joey B.

 

In Honor of Game of Thrones Returning, I Give You The Top 5 GOT Characters

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As everyone except those living a Ted Kaczynski-esque existence in the northern frontier of our nation knows, “Game Of Thrones” returns this Sunday for its 8th season. As most of those people understand, this will also be the final season and, indeed, the end of an era. The $50 million dollar gamble (which sounds cheap compared to later seasons) almost immediately cemented itself in the upper echelons of pop culture, becoming as well know for driving plot lines with not exactly relatable subjects such as incest, witchcraft, and castration as it has for weaving one of the most magnetic stories television has ever seen over the course of almost a decade.

While the dragons soared, the battles fought, and the bastards brooded, the latest classic delivered by the Home Box Office (“The Wire,” “The Sopranos,” GOT this is getting ridiculous) produced, as their shows tend to do, some absolutely classic characters. Ones you can quote. Ones you want to have a beer with. Ones you want to beat the ever loving shit out of. Characters that just evoke intense, human reactions and emotions from the millions upon millions of people that have watched the show.

So I’ve decided to give you a Top 5. The top 5 best characters. Now, you are not getting a surface-level “most screen time,” “who drives the story the most?” list here. No, while things like how much they are are actually on the show were accounted for, I really wanted to dive deep into these characters’ Id. Of the endless faces and names (for sure not the same count, after all) we have seen since 2011, I wanted to deduce who really reeled us in to their mind, body, and soul the most. Who made us sit up whenever they went to give a monologue? Who did we realize in our borderline-insane attempt at a six week re-watch was as indispensable as the Wall?

With the help of a few of my fellow bloggers I set out to answer those questions and more. Enjoy.

Honorable Mentions
Tormund Gianstsbane
Blogger Note: I hate to not rank Tormund, both because I love the character and Dom helped me out with the blog. But I just couldn’t justify a top 5 spot. Every man has a code.
Dom: “Gotta love Tormund Giantsbane. In addition to being a brute and a warrior, he’s also one of those guys who can actually tell the difference between good and evil. On top of that, he’s fucking hilarious. From creepy side eyes at Brienne to life advice for Jon Snow to this amazing conversation with the Hound, he’s pure gold all the time.”

Missandei and Greyworm
The realms true “couple goals” culminated in what I can only imagine was some voracious foreplay, judging by Khaleesi and Missandei’s giggling fit. Either way, the bond these two have coming from broken backgrounds and ending up at the side of the most powerful woman in their world is pretty special. Every time they interact they seem like they aren’t expecting to see each other ever again and it is both heartbreaking and endearing.

Quote:
Greyworm: Wounded in war, there is no shame for this. I am ashamed because when the knife go in and I fall to the ground, I am afraid.
Missandei: All men fear death
Greyworm: No, not death. I fear I never again see Missandei from the Isle of Naath.

The Top 5

5.) Ser Davos Seaworth


I know, I know, I spurn Tormund then rank Ser Davos. What the fuck, right? But bear with me. Davos from day one represented the purest intentions with the strongest of convictions in the 7 kingdoms. He began as the fiercely loyal right hand to a man he knew to be as flawed as he was great and has continued on as an older foil to Jon Snow’s Starkian code of only the most undiluted honor. When he speaks you listen, because it is nothing but blue collar, honest truth he is spitting.

Quote:
(With the mutineers breaking down the door) “I’m not much of a fighter…Apologies for what you’re about to see.”

4.) Bronn (Ser Bronn of the Blackwater)


Red: “I gotta go with Bronn. He’s what every man wants to be; careless, reckless, and often legless. Bronn is also sneaky one of the most dangerous men in the 7 kingdoms. Throw in some killer one liners and Bronn is the clear choice as the best character in Game of Thrones.”

Quote:
Bronn:  There’s this knight, uh, Leygood. Got thunderbolts on his shield?
Jaime: Uh-huh.
Bronn: Right here is where I fuck his wife. She’s a screamer, that one. If they don’t hear her, they won’t hear us.

3.) Robb Stark

Yup, that’s right, a guy who died years ago. I don’t care. During my re-watch I was reminded just how good Robb Stark was. Above all else, he was intense. That is such an overused, cliched word but everything King Robb said was layered in desperation, frustration, urgency, and at the same time deep contemplation. He wasn’t just fighting a war, he was trying to mentally and emotionally will his way to victory. There was just something so human about how badly he wanted what he wanted because he thought it was right and made sense. Damn.

Quote:
Rob Stark: “I asked him, How can a man be brave if he’s afraid? That is the only time a man can be brave, he told me.”

2.) Tyrion Lannister


You just can’t leave him off this no matter which way you spin it. The Imp. The Half-man. The Dwarf. He is a half-pint of vice yet a barrel of ethical vigor. He uses sarcasm and condescension as a weapon to mask that deep down he is the only one among his family members who is kind, loving, and even tender and gentle. He likewise has an inner fury that he’ll aim at those who strike down upon the lowly, as he has been struck down on so much in his life. He also fucks a lot which is cool.

Quote:
Missandei: How do you know this?
Tyrion: That’s what I do. I drink, and I know things.

1.) Lord Tywin Lannister

BOMBSHELL. BSHHHHHHH. Ya I know. Me too. I texted Red this the other day and I’m sticking to it. Tywin is the best character on the show. He is the Vince McMahon of the realm. He leaves for a few scenes and then his music hits and you’re like ooo shit. Either with his army or his tongue he is going to carve someone the fuck in half. O and if he just doesn’t feel like he needs to use either he has a smirk or otherwise deadly facial expression to rip you to pieces with. He was a motherfucker, yes. An absolute piece of shit at times. He did it for his family in the end though. He never lost sight of his one rule. Kind of have to respect that.

Quote:
Tywin Lannister: “Any man who must say, ‘I am the king’ is no true king.”

So I hope you enjoyed that. Maybe you love or hate me for the picks. Either way we like to have fun around here. Enjoy Season 8. Winter is here.

-Joey B.