We Are Approximately 5 Seconds Into the 2018 Season and Belichick Already Gave Dan Shaughnessy a Swirly


Of all the things that make me irrationally angry in this world, The fact that Dan “I’m a fucking asshat” Shaughnessy is SOMEHOW going to be beatified as a saint by the media when he one day dies is perhaps the most infuriating. Shank is a troll plain and simple. He is an amalgamation of the worst parts of old media and big J journalism and he delights in nothing more than writing bad stories that no one cares about while grinding whichever of his axe is the dullest that week.

Unfortunately for Mr. Shaughnessy at the turn of the millennium a new sheriff arrived in town that very simply put, was not going to put up with his shit, that was intellectually and creatively superior and who could, no matter what Shank did or said or wrote, make Boston’s worst columnist look like a child at any waking moment. To put it in terms I myself can understand better, Shaughnessy is any number of hapless, 155 pound subpar grapplers and Belichick is Khabib Nurmagomedov, just taking down, holding down, stifling, and making life absolutely miserable and humiliating for his broken opponent.

But what a weird fuckin fanbase we are for getting fired up for by this huh? While other teams have to wait for the first deep call completed in full pad drills to get stoked for the impending season, we just have to wait for our coach to verbally checkmate a jackass reporter within 3 moves.

Hey Dan, Knight to E5 (?), SOOOOOONNNN!

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