If the Red Sox Got Into Giant Headed Mascot Racing, Who Are Your Top Choices?

GREAT question here, Joe. Now lets not just leave this to former Red Sox players though; thats too narrow. While I get what Joe is saying about Cheers, I am throwing that idea in the trash, respectfully of course. So any former Sox player or famous Bostonian is up for grabs in this poll. Here are some of the top Boston guys that I think would be A+ giant headed mascots

  • Trot Nixon

I cannot picture anything funnier than one of those abominations running around Fenway with the dirtiest gigantic hat ever made.

  • Kevin Youkilis

Youk would probably be the most easily recognizable giant headed mascot in the game with a 3 foot tall goatee.

  • Nomar Garciaparra

Once the sports book opens at the Wynn in Everett (lets go Mayor Walsh) I would HAMMER the moneyline on Nomah winning this race 5 nights a week.

  • Pedro Martinez

He would have a slight disadvantage though because a giant headed Pedro mascot would need to be taped to a poll as part of the costume.

  • Luis Tiant

El Tiante with a cigar the size of a pool noodle would be a dark horse candidate in every race.

  • Bill Burr

The angriest giant headed mascot you’ll ever see. Would never win shit because he is a comedian, not a track star, but Old Billy Red Balls would be a fan favorite for sure.

  • Ben Affleck/Matt Damon

They can’t have one without the other. Would be required they run the race as a three legged man.

  • Doug Flutie

The man is a damn legend. Forget the hail mary TD, the guy completed a drop kick in a live NFL game. My family literally has a framed picture of that shit in the basement. True story.

Who ya got? Tweet your best answers to me @The300sBoston so I can debate you on mascots instead of being productive in the cube.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s