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(Retired) Rob Gronkowski Traded to Tampa Bay to Reunite With Tom Brady

Somebody needs to do a wellness check on Julian Edelman and take away his shoelaces. But seriously, you have got to be shitting me Gronk. I’m seriously going to have to watch two of my favorite athletes of all time play together for another team this season? Holy shit did the devil collect quickly on the deal for my soul after Super Bowl No. 6.

This all came out of thin air after RapSheet tweeted Gronk was interested in coming back and was a done deal in a matter of about 30 minutes, which made it all the more jarring.

I didn’t even have time to craft a witty tweet before the next breaking news siren sounded. Now we’re just reacting to the cold hard news that is in fact a done deal.

If we’re being honest I was hoping for more than a 4th for Gronk and a 7th, but I guess objectively speaking it makes sense as he has just one year left on his deal and hasn’t played football in more than a year. When Marshawn Lynch decided he wanted to come out of retirement to play for the Raiders, the Seahawks were only able to swap a 6th for a 5th and thats probably the closest comparison.

But in the span of 32 days to lose the greatest quarterback of all time for nothing and now arguably the greatest tight end of all time for a 4th stings a bit.

Karen Guregian also reported that this wasn’t just a sudden urge from Gronk to play football again.

I can’t say that surprises me all that much since Gronk confirmed rumors of a nixed trade to the Lions before the 2018 season, saying he’d retired before playing for another QB.

After a year doing TV, selling CBD, hosting music festivals, and winning WWE belts Gronk will be back catching balls in 2020 from none other than Tompa Brady. His off the field stuff was hit or miss, but let us never forget his Hall of Fame meathead moment on New Years Eve.

Well if sports ever do come back I’ll be drunk and crying in the stands watching Tom Brady throw TDs to Rob Gronkowski in motherfucking Tampa Bay.

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