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The 300s Marvel Cinematic Rewind Presents: Captain America: The First Avenger

By Giorgio on January 17, 2019 • ( Leave a comment )

The first time I watched Captain America: The First Avenger, I had zero expectations. I was won over by Iron Man, disappointed by The Incredible Hulk, flat out angered by Iron Man 2, and bypassed Thor altogether. Hell, I didn’t even see this movie until two weeks before The Avengers hit theaters. The Avengers hype was in full swing at this point and I was struggling to get on board. Maybe this whole MCU thing just wasn’t for me? At the time I was living in Los Angeles with some friends and all we did was watch movies during the week, so eventually this was bound to be thrown on the TV some random night. I always enjoyed the work of Chris Evans, who at the time really wasn’t in a heck of a lot. I adored Sunshine (the highly underrated sci-fi thriller) and of course who could forget his starring role as Jake Wyler in the amazing Not Another Teen Movie (you did remember that was him, right?)

Captain America: The First Avenger is set in 1940s New York City and tells the story of Steve Rogers. Rogers, a Brooklyn native, has his heart set on joining the armed forces, but is consistently shot down based on his small physique and a laundry list of health issues. He attends the Stark Expo in Queens (as seen in Iron Man 2, albeit many years earlier) with his best friend Bucky Barnes. His plan there is to try once again to sign up for the military as he thinks by doing so there they’ll be a little more lenient on who they let in. Bucky, who is ready to ship out the next day, frowns upon Rogers idea and encourages him not to keep trying to enlist under different names, which he warns is highly illegal. Rogers expresses to Bucky just how badly he wants to join and feels he could be doing so much more for his country. Overhearing this conversation is Dr. Abraham Erskine (Stanley Tucci). Dr. Erskine approaches Rogers while taking his enlistment physical and offers him a “chance” at becoming something more.

Rogers then ships off to boot camp where he meets Colonel Chester Phillips and Agent Peggy Carter (the former played by Tommy Lee Jones and the latter Hayley Atwell). Agent Carter immediately takes a liking to Rogers and motivates him along the way while Colonel Phillips sees him as wasting his time. After a brief competition to show off his determination and character as an individual (a scene incredibly reminiscent of Will Smith in the beginning of Men In Black just without all the humor, and hey! Tommy Lee Jones was in that too!) Rogers is selected by Dr. Erskine to participate in the super soldier program that he’s been working on.

Rogers is transported to a secret facility in Brooklyn where many government officials are standing by to watch the experiment take place. Rogers is injected with a serum and placed in what could only be described as a coffin-looking chamber where he evolves like a Pokemon into the Captain America we all know and love.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bmWLLempSyI

Unbeknownst to everyone in attendance, a Hydra agent has infiltrated the facility and sets off an explosion, devastating the lab and killing Dr. Erskine in the process. The devastation prevents further experiments from taking place, causing Rogers to be the only one of his kind. Convenient!

Meanwhile on the other side of the pond, Red Skull, the leader of Hydra, is testing weapons based off the technology of the Tesseract, aka the Space Stone of Infinity Stone fame. He plans to overthrow Hitler and the Nazis and take over the world himself. His weapons technology has the ability to vaporize people with a single blast!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cE8hO79bsOc

After the whole ordeal at the lab, Rogers is shunned by the military as some sort of science project gone wrong. He wants to help in the fight against the Nazis, but he is instead cast as the lead in a traveling stage show who’s purpose is to sell war bonds. Rogers is forced to wear a rather garish costume, a uniform he would later adopt into his Captain America persona. Rogers feels underutilized and wishes he could be making an actual difference. Agent Carter reminds him that she believes he is meant for more.

Rogers discovers his friend Bucky and his unit have been captured inside enemy lines. Against Colonel Phillips wishes, Rogers and a platoon of men go and rescue Bucky and his guys where they run into Red Skull, who narrowly escapes.

When they arrive back at the base, Phillips is incredibly impressed with Rogers and his whole attitude towards him changes. He learns to trust him as a leader and embraces him for the super soldier that he really is. Howard Stark then provides Rogers with the notorious shield Captain America fans have come to know and love. Rogers and his team go on to assault various Hyrda bases across Europe, but when the group attacks a train transporting Zola, Red Skull’s #2 henchman, Bucky falls to his death (well, not really, but we’ll get to that at some other point).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LZq-dH0ymXw

After interrogating Zola, the final Hydra base is discovered and Rogers decides to take on Red Skull once and for all. He boards a plane that contains bombs designated for various cities across the United States. In the ensuing fight, the Tesseract is damaged and a portal is opened to space where Red Skull is sucked in before it closes for good. With time running out, Rogers is forced to down the plane to save the lives of millions.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9nxfP0d5EVQ

Flash forward 70 something years where Rogers wakes up in a “hospital room” that turns out to be a sound stage. Naturally freaking out and feeling something is off, Rogers flees and discovers he is in the year 2012 in the middle of Times Square. Nick Fury shows up just in time for the credits to roll.

I should probably go ahead and say I absolutely love this movie. It has the strongest plot, message, and cast out of any of the Marvel films at this point. The film felt like it served an actual purpose, unlike some of its predecessors. Doesn’t hurt that it was directed by Joe Johnston, of Jumanji, Honey, I Shrunk The Kids, and October Sky fame. So what did I like?

Chris Evans

He’s perfect for this role. They took a chance casting him and as I stated earlier, he really hadn’t been in a hell of a lot up until this point. Now obviously he’ll be known as Captain America forever.

Hayley Atwell

I adore Hayley Atwell for many, many reasons.

World War II Setting

I’m a sucker for all things World War II. It was a surprise considering we all knew The Avengers was on the horizon and I wasn’t really sure how it would line up without having Cap in a nursing home. The movie did patriotism well, without going completely overboard.

Captain America as a Franchise

While the MCU as a whole is awesome, my one complaint is that nothing aside from Infinity War/Endgame feels essential. We’ve been building for 11 years to a grand finale, yet each movie comes with the knowledge that there’s always a follow up film on the schedule. We’re constantly waiting to see what happens next while not giving enough merit to what’s currently on the screen in front of us. Think about it. Iron Man as a character is deeply loved by the community that enjoys these films, yet arguably there’s really only one good Iron Man movie. The sequels felt like filler, plagued with bad writing and just enough Tony Stark banter to distract us from realizing what we were watching wasn’t that essential. The Captain America films I would argue are the strongest standalone movies in the whole universe. They advanced the plot forward, yet are good enough to watch without thinking about what’s next in the queue. They also tend to have the most crossover with other characters from the universe. I mean, let’s be real, Civil War is an Avengers movie with a different title.

Final rating: 8.0 out 10.

Next up for The 300s Marvel Cinematic Rewind, The Avengers.

The 300s Marvel Cinematic Rewind Presents: Iron Man 2

By Giorgio on January 4, 2019 • ( Leave a comment )

Let me start off by saying that Iron Man 2 is probably the worst film in the MCU. It bothers the living hell out of me, especially coming off of what I consider one of the best Marvel movies period, the first Iron Man. Ask most Marvel fans and they’ll probably rank this one near or at the bottom of their list which is totally valid. There are some incredible lows in this film, and i’ll do my best to break them down and sort them out for you.

Iron Man 2 is the 3rd installment of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, released on May 7th, 2010. By all means, this is the first true step in building towards The Avengers, as it features Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow, Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury, and Clark Gregg as Agent Coulson. To quickly summarize, Iron Man 2 starts off with Tony at the Stark Expo in Queens, NY. He’s showboating his Iron Man suit, as he often does, but it’s also revealed that he’s dying, poisoned by the very thing keeping him alive, his chest arc reactor. Watching on television somewhere in Russia, the sinister Ivan Vanko, played by Mickey Rourke, is working away on his own version of the arc reactor, based on plans crafted by his father and Tony’s dad, Howard. He ambushes Tony at the Monaco Grand Prix, debuting his alter ego Whiplash. This is met with curiosity from Tony’s rival arms dealer, Justin Hammer, played by Sam Rockwell. Hammer breaks Whiplash out of prison and hires him to build a fleet of Iron Man-like suits for him to win back his government arms contract. Vanko does build Hammer his suits, but is also secretly working on improving his Whiplash armor, very similar to the way Stark secretly built his Iron Man armor in captivity in the first installment of the franchise. The film culminates with a battle at the Stark expo, and with the help of Don Cheadle’s War Machine, Tony saves the day once again. Oh, and remember how Tony was dying? Yeah, he just magically creates a brand new element that has the power to save him. He’s really smart guys.

You’ll notice how I left out a lot of what happens in the middle of the movie. There’s a reason for that. It’s pure trash.

There’s so much happening in the second act of this movie that is painful to the eyes and ears.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=huiZFHZwI_o

Let’s start with Rhodey becoming War Machine because Tony Stark was too drunk in his Iron Man suit. Riiiiiiiight. Just try and watch this nonsense with a straight face. Also, shout out to a cameo by DJ AM. RIP.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I6Ds4_k3kiU

“I want my bird.” Vanko insists on Hammer getting him his bird, and he seems pretty damn serious about it. Yet, later in the movie he gets a random bird and….

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=beK0D9ChV40

….it immediately gets bagged in hilarious fashion! Also, what the hell is with Sam Rockwell in this movie? He is insanely bad and overacting the shit out of this thing. Mickey Rourke looks bored to death at every turn, and that’s saying something coming from an actor who was pretty much blacklisted from Hollywood for like a decade before this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VWqhGlLqJEM

I only put this here because John Favreau stinks at acting. Decent director, stinky actor. Also, are we really not supposed to think ScarJo is Black Widow? Why even bother trying to hide it and play this game?

Finally, I’d like to shout out to Kate Mara for being in this thing for a total of 30 seconds.

I honestly could go on and on and nitpick this movie to death. Iron Man 3 stinks just as bad which is kind of crazy to think that for as much acclaim this series has, it only really has one good entry.

My final review: 3.0 out of 10. I’ve included the trailer just in case you wanted to test it out yourself. Godspeed.

Stay tuned for our next entry in The 300s Marvel Cinematic Rewind, Thor.

The 300s Marvel Cinematic Rewind Presents: The Incredible Hulk

By Giorgio on December 24, 2018 • ( Leave a comment )

Raise your hand if you completely forgot this film was a part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Trust me, from time to time I forget it too. A month after Iron Man hit theaters in May 2008, The Incredible Hulk burst onto the scene to keep the Marvel momentum alive. To be fair to all those involved in making this movie, it’s not as a bad as most people remember. In fact, I think many forget this film’s ties to the MCU mainly because Ed Norton (who is a great actor by the way) was almost immediately replaced with Mark Ruffalo. It once again had something to do with a contract dispute (Norton wanted more creative control over the finished product and it caused a lot of headaches behind the scenes) so Marvel went in a different direction to get Bruce Banner ready for his Avengers debut.

So recently I sat down and re-watched this forgotten gem just to see how well it held up. This was only my second viewing of the film as I had not seen it since it was playing in theaters. Still, we promised a Marvel Cinematic Rewind, which means watching even some of the more obscure entries in the universe.

To quickly summarize, The Incredible Hulk is the second entry in the MCU. It follows Bruce Banner, a brilliant scientist who’s experiment goes wrong, turning him into one of the most dangerous and fearsome players in comic book history. The movie starts with Banner on the run in Brazil, laying low chatting up online with a mysterious Mr. Blue, who is trying to help cure him. By day, Banner is helping out in a bottling plant (where they produce green soda!) and naturally some of his blood gets mixed in a shipment causing Stan Lee to get Gamma radiation poisoning, leading the government to track down his whereabouts. Still with me so far? Banner barely gets away when the SWAT team kicks in his door and a chase ensues around the city. He narrowly escapes and decides to head back to America, hitchhiking and bumming it on foot from Brazil all the way back to Virginia, in a cool 16 days. You’re still with me right? The head SWAT guy, played by Tim Roth, doesn’t like this very much and winds up taking a dose of super soldier serum mixed with a little Banner blood and becomes Abomination. They do battle, Hulk wins, and Banner once again goes on the run.

The Incredible Hulk definitely sits near the bottom of my MCU rankings. The entire movie is essentially just a cat and mouse game with the government consistently trying to bring Banner in, only to finally utilize him to stop Abomination. While I normally like Ed Norton, his Banner is, well, boring. This is definitely the beginning of the lazy villain stereotype that has plagued Marvel films. Tim Roth brings little to the table as Abomination, who probably has a total of 10 minutes screen time. And while i’m not particularly drawn to any specific aspect of this film, it is at least what most would refer to as a good popcorn movie. Good action sequences, paced pretty well, and it keeps your attention. Hey, at least it’s not that god awful 2003 Hulk. I still have nightmares about that one. If this movie proved anything though, it’s that i’m completely content with just one standalone Hulk movie in the MCU.

Final Verdict: 5.0 out of 10

And while you’re here, enjoy this nonsense.

Start Your Holiday Weekend Off Right With This Infuriating Article from CNBC

By Giorgio on December 21, 2018 • ( Leave a comment )

Trevor Klee, he admits, is a “terrible employee.” But he’s great at working for himself — and at taking tests.

So the 25-year-old entrepreneur started a thriving business of his own. As a test prep instructor in Cambridge, Massachusetts, he brings in $100,000 a year tutoring people for the GMAT, GRE and LSAT. It’s one of those weird skills that turned out to be really monetizable,” he tells CNBC Make It.

Klee is the first to acknowledge he’s benefited from both luck and privilege: “Growing up in a family that talked a lot about money was a definite advantage,” he says. “In a lot of ways, I feel like I’m good with money, but I’m playing life on ‘Easy’ mode: I’m a single guy with no dependents and I make a pretty solid income.”

For all those people out there struggling to afford the holiday shopping, this one is for you. CNBC just dropped this downright insulting article right before we all set our out-of-office replies and head home for Christmas. I refuse to believe the person that made the above chart is serious, so let’s break this down into realistic terms.

Rent:

The Chart Says: $825

Reality Says: Unless you’re living in your parent’s basement and that’s what they are asking you to contribute, there is no way a single man who lives alone is paying $825. MAYBE if he lives in the Ozarks.

Donations:

The Chart Says: $615

Reality Says: BULLSHIT. I feel like i’m being bamboozled into giving a dollar every time I go to the grocery store to write my name on a paper star that they hang in the window.

Groceries:

The Chart Says: $400

Reality Says: If you’re living alone, there is zero chance this is true. Unless you’re eating filet mignon every single night, go screw. I had Spaghettios for lunch the other day and I have a Bachelor’s degree.

Health Insurance:

The Chart Says: $270

Reality Says: This is the first believable thing this graphic has said.

Dining Out:

The Chart Says: $250

Reality Says: What is this dude ordering? Do you know how many times i’ve been at a restaurant with friends and the check comes and the waiter gets handed 10 different Mastercards with the exact amounts written out for him to swipe?

Utilities:

The Chart Says: $195

Reality Says: Somewhat believable, but only if you’re still in that 2 year grace period with Comcast before they double the price without telling you.

Transportation:

The Chart Says: $130

Reality Says: My car payment alone is more than triple this, and I drive a fucking Chevy.

Cell Phone:

The Chart Says: $40

Reality Says: Only true if you’re on your parent’s plan or you’re still rocking that RAZR flip phone.

House Cleaner:

The Chart Says: $30

Reality Says:

Internet:

The Chart Says: $20

Reality Says: Who am I kidding, i’d pay hundreds for internet access without losing sleep.

In conclusion, don’t let any clickbait bullshit article bully you into thinking you’re not successful if you don’t make $100,000. You do you. Oh, and Merry Christmas.

The 300s Marvel Cinematic Rewind Presents: Iron Man

By Giorgio on December 18, 2018 • ( Leave a comment )

A little over 10 years ago I walked into the movie theater with some friends. I had just finished my freshman year of college and was home for a couple of months. That summer promised some insanely popular movies, namely the second installment of the Christopher Nolan Batman franchise, The Dark Knight. To say that Iron Man was anywhere on my radar would have been a complete lie. While I always considered myself a fan of comic book movies, I was never what you would consider a die-hard. You have to figure, this was 2008, way before we were able to see what the Marvel Cinematic Universe would become. Hell, just a year earlier we were given the much maligned Spider-Man 3. It was a different time back then. So when I sat down in my seat in the theater that day, I had no idea what was about to happen. I was about to enter a world that would engross me for the next decade.

In case you somehow forgot, Iron Man started it all. We were introduced to Tony Stark, a genius billionaire playboy philanthropist (his words, not mine) played by Robert Downey Jr., who at the time was coming off a rough battle with substance abuse. The casting of Downey Jr. was definitely a bit out of left field, especially to lead what Marvel Studios hoped would launch a franchise. Keep in mind though, this was before Disney acquired Marvel and the distribution was still handled by Paramount. Suffice it to say they absolutely nailed the casting. I mean, could you imagine anyone else in the role?

To sum it up quickly, Iron Man follows Stark to the Middle East where he is conducting weapons tests for his company, Stark Industries. While overseeing the development, he is kidnapped by terrorists and instructed to create a weapon for them. Using his genius and the materials provided, he constructs a crude version of the Iron Man suit and unleashes holy hell on the terrorists. He escapes and returns home, set on changing how his company operates and with a passion to do good in the world. Naturally, shit hits the fan when his business partner, Obadiah Stane, catches wind of Starks’ plan to exit the arms dealing industry and learns of his Iron Man persona. Stane becomes Iron Monger with the help of Tony’s old suit, they battle, and naturally Tony wins and saves the day. After the credits, Nick Fury shows up to plant the seed of the Avengers initiative, and the rest is history.

I remember when I first saw the post-credits scene, I had no idea what Marvel’s plans were. In fact, I don’t think I had ever seen a post-credits scene before this point. Marvel then obviously perfected it, always leaving us hanging for the next installment. Where else do you see an entire audience stay in their seats through all the credits just to see a clip that will inevitably wind up on youtube the next day? It was revolutionary and changed the game.

So what did I like?

Robert Downey Jr.

I became an instant fan when I saw this movie. He was hilarious and believable in the part. The guy obviously had a great number of films before this and it encouraged me to go back and watch movies like Kiss Kiss Bang Bang and Zodiac (I also completely forgot he was in the underrated gem, Bowfinger).

Terrence Howard

Talk about shitty luck, huh? Howard played the original Colonel James “Rhodey” Rhodes (aka War Machine) who was later replaced with actor Don Cheadle. It’s not clear why he didn’t return, but it had something to do with a contract dispute. I thought Howard and Downey Jr. played well off of each other and was looking forward to seeing him in the sequels. No disrespect to the Cheadle.

The Plot

I really loved how self-contained the story was. At the time I guess it wasn’t really that important, but now that we live in a world where there are already three Avengers films out with a fourth on the way, it’s nice to look back at a time when the only hero in town was Iron Man. Now any time a Marvel movie comes out and it’s a stand alone film, I always wonder where the hell everyone else is and why they can’t help out.

19 more MCU films have been released since 2008, yet unsurprisingly, Iron Man still remains one of my favorite Marvel films. It’s been cool to see the evolution of the character over the past decade and I am just praying to god he doesn’t meet his demise in Avengers: Endgame.

Final Verdict: 9.0 out of 10

On that note, I leave you with this gem. RIP Obadiah.

The Avengers: Endgame Trailer Has Finally Arrived and We’re Breaking It Down

By Giorgio on December 7, 2018 • ( 2 Comments )

The Avengers: Endgame trailer just dropped and in the words of my friend Pikachu:

First off, I need to address that aside from the trailer, we finally got a title reveal. ENDGAME. Short, sweet, and to the point. I like it. After 11 years in this wonderfully constructed cinematic universe, we are at the end of this current iteration of the story. Now we all know this is not the actual end of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Hell, they already announced Spider-Man: Far From Home which is interesting considering where we last left our friendly neighborhood spider. This is a turning point in the road, where we may actually see some of our favorite heroes meet their demise. Some serious shit is about to go down. SPOILERS FROM HERE ON SO BE WARNED.

So when we last left our heroes in Infinity War, half of the universe was completely dusted. A bunch of our Avengers disappeared in front of our eyes and we were left with what pretty much resembled the original Avengers lineup, and there is absolutely zero chance that wasn’t done on purpose. We’re back to where we started and in the words of George Lucas, “It’s like poetry, they rhyme.”

We were also left with a lot of questions. Where the hell is Hawkeye? Is Ant-man still stuck in the quantum realm? Is Pepper pregnant? Oh, the humanity!

Luckily, we have our brand spanking new Avengers trailer to help answer some of those questions.

I think I can speak for most when I say, holy shit. I know this trailer doesn’t give away too much, but it does set us up perfectly for what’s to come. Sure, there’s no hint at what the actual plot is, but a friend of the blog put it as “Well, we’re all going to see it anyway, let’s just use it to hype us up.” Solid advice from a solid individual.

So we start with a stranded Tony Stark in space. The chaos perceived after the Thanos snap is awesome. None of our heroes seem to have tabs on where the heck anyone is, and who is actually still standing which is great for the tension in the beginning of the film. So how will Iron Man find his way out of this one? Well, we pretty much have one option I can think of off the top of my head. Captain Marvel.

I feel ya, Cap.

Next up, we have the Incredible Hu….Bruce Banner going over what seems to be images of the people the Avengers think to have hit the old dusty trail. Here’s hoping in Endgame that Bruce takes some of Michael’s Secret Stuff from Space Jam and figures out how to Hulk out again.*

*He will, duh.

Nebula! Kind of forgot you were still alive!

Now this is where things start picking up. Who’s our new assassin friend?

By Golly! It’s our old pal Hawkeye! Way to make an appearance!

Title card. Yeah, i’m pretty damn excited for this thing now.

And finally, we get the return of Scott Lang. So many questions. How did you get here Scott??? I guess we’ll all have to collectively wait and see April 26th.

Seattle Just Got an NHL Franchise

By Giorgio on December 4, 2018 • ( Leave a comment )

We all knew the day was coming to get the NHL to 32 teams. Vegas joined the league last year in what wound up being the most successful run by an expansion franchise in their inaugural season ever. Seattle will begin play in the 2021-2022 season, the same year my Islanders get their new arena in Belmont. Seattle’s arena situation is a bit different though. They would be playing in a newly renovated KeyArena, which is going under a $700 million overall. When construction is finished, the rink will seat 17,400 for hockey and 18,600 for basketball (pending they’re able to convince the NBA to bring home the Sonics).

Bringing the NHL to a total of 32 teams comes with some obvious changes. First of all, it would require a bit of realignment in the pacific division. The Western Conference currently sits at eight teams in the Pacific with seven in the Central, and if you’ve recently seen where Seattle lines up on a map, you’ll know that they’d have to be placed in the Pacific for this to make any sense. This will require movement from one of the existing Pacific teams, which most experts are pinning on the Arizona Coyotes to make the jump to the Central.

The expansion of a Seattle franchise also will require another expansion draft, a process that seemingly worked out very well for the Vegas Golden Knights last time around. All teams will be able to protect a certain combination of players like in the previous Vegas expansion draft. Bill Daly has confirmed June 2021 for Seattle’s draft. All I can say is if the Seattle franchise can select half as decent as the Golden Knights did, we’ll be in for a competitive team right off the bat.

Finally, the team will need to settle on a name. The Seattle Metropolitans is one I keep seeing thrown around, based on the history the name has with the city.

Over 100 years ago, the Seattle Metropolitans were the first American franchise to ever win the Stanley Cup, before the NHL was even formed. Some are pushing to reinstate that name for the incoming team, but as a lifelong New York Mets fan team, I do not wish that bad juju on anyone.

The 300s Top 20 Most Anticipated Movies of 2019

By Giorgio on November 15, 2018 • ( Leave a comment )

I’m not exaggerating when I say there are a billion movies coming out next year. Seriously, I was pretty shocked to see just how much is coming to theaters in 2019. So for your reading pleasure, I picked my 20 most anticipated and break down what you need to know.

20) The New Mutants

Release Date: August 2nd, 2019

Starring: Maisie Williams, Antonio Banderas, Charlie Heaton

This will probably be the last X-Men movie under the Fox umbrella. It’s billed as a horror film so it’ll be interesting to see how this goes. Disney is set to acquire Fox in January so you can fully expect to see the X-Men completely rebooted and added to Marvel’s Phase 4 plans. This film was supposed to come out this past February and has been pushed back several times so make of that what you will. Personally, i’m excited to see Arya Stark in a new role.

19) Men In Black

Release Date: June 14th, 2019

Starring: Chris Hemsworth, Tessa Thompson

We have the first reboot of the list on our hands! It stars a re-team of our two leads from Thor 3. I was a huge fan of the original 1997 film, but thought the two sequels it spawned were forgettable at best. I’m kind of surprised this wasn’t rebooted sooner to be honest. At least we’re not getting that rumored MIB/21 Jump Street spinoff. Nobody was asking for that. Dodged a bullet there.

18) Frozen 2

Release Date: November 22nd, 2019

Starring: Kristen Bell, Josh Gad, Idina Menzel

I was the last person on planet earth to see the first Frozen and I must say I was pleasantly surprised. I’m a big Disney guy (especially a big fan of Disney actually being Frozen himself) so this makes the list on curiosity alone. It’s ironic because the best part of the movie is Olaf who is voiced by Josh Gad, who I absolutely despise. Cautiously optimistic on this one.

17) Dumbo

Release Date: March 29th, 2019

Starring: Danny Devito, Colin Farrell, Eva Green, Michael Keaton, Dumbo The Elephant

Another Disney entry, the first of three live action remakes on my list. The cast is stacked and the CGI Dumbo is fucking adorable so how could you not be in on this? The original cartoon is low key one of the most depressing movies of all time so the inner emo in me is down to sob in a Regal Theater over a computerized elephant that can fly. Plus it’s directed by Tim Burton so you know we’re in for a trip.

16) The Lego Movie 2

Release Date: February 8th, 2019

Starring: Chris Pratt, Alison Brie, Jonah Hill

Legos are the shit. Case closed.

15) Dark Phoenix

Release Date: June 7th, 2019

Starring: Sophie Turner, Jennifer Chastain, Jennifer Lawrence

We actually have two X-Men movies coming out next year, and as I mentioned previously, it’s not looking likely we’ll see a continuation of this version of the supergroup after the Disney acquisition of Fox. Still, it’ll be nice to see these actors at least one more time to shine. If anything, we get one more turn of Fassbender as Magneto which is worth the price of admission alone.

14) Aladdin

Release Date: May 24th, 2019

Starring: Will Smith, Naomi Scott, Mena Massoud

2nd of 3 live action Disney remakes. This one has Will Smith as the Genie though. Big shoes to fill replacing the legendary Robin Williams, but if anyone can step into the role it’s the Fresh Prince.

13) Untitled Terminator 6

Release Date: November 1st, 2019

Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Linda Hamilton

We are FINALLY getting a direct sequel to Terminator 2. We’re just gonna pretend those pesky 3 other sequels never happened, okay? Linda Hamilton returns as Sarah Connor and i’m just praying we get a worthy sequel to what I consider one of the greatest sci-fi movies of all time. Hopefully the Governator brings his A game too.

12) Hobbs and Shaw

Release Date: August 2nd, 2019

Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Jason Statham

It only took 18 years and 8 movies to get a spinoff of the Fast and the Furious franchise going. Now that we got one coming soon, i’m not really sure how I feel about it. Vin Diesel is pissed about it. Tyrese is pissed about it. Hell, even Paul Walker is pissed about it I think. I’m a huge fan of the Rock, but this is not his franchise to take over. I’ll still be there opening weekend, but I am a bit weary.

11) Once Upon A Time In Hollywood

Release Date: August 9th, 2019

Starring: Every actor in Hollywood

No seriously. The better question would be to ask who is not starring in this movie. Quentin Tarantino brings us back to the 60s and tells us the story of Charles Manson and the murders he inspired. Leonardo DiCaprio, Brad Pitt, Margot Robbie, Al Pacino, Dakota Fanning, Kurt Russell, Damian Lewis, Emile Hirsch, Tim Roth, Timothy Olyphant, Michael Madsen, Luke Perry, James Marsden, and Zoe Bell star (to name a few).

10) Captain Marvel

Release Date: March 8th, 2019

Starring: Brie Larson, Samuel L. Jackson

This would probably rank higher for me if I had any clue who Captain Marvel is. I love Brie Larson and it’s a Marvel movie so it’s bound to be awesome and make a billion dollars. Cool to see a female led Marvel movie as well. I just wasn’t exposed to this character growing up so this will be my first real introduction to her. Very excited about it nonetheless.

9) Joker

Release Date: October 4th, 2019

Starring: Joaquin Phoenix, Robert De Niro

This movie is not my most anticipated of 2019, but it’s probably the one that intrigues me the most. Jared Leto was so bad as the Joker that it left a sour taste in my mouth. This version however, directed by Todd Phillips, looks to stray towards Heath Ledger’s portrayal of the character which i’m more than happy with. Couple that with the lead being Joaquin Phoenix, a phenomenal actor in his own right, and this film has the potential to be something special. It apparently also operates independently of the DC Universe films which is completely fine by me, and i’m sure to you the reader.

8) John Wick: Chapter 3

Release Date: May 17th, 2019

Starring: Keanu Reeves, Halle Berry, Ian McShane

It’s great seeing Keanu Reeves utilized to his potential as he’s always been a phenomenal actor when given the right material. The John Wick films have been a great addition to the man’s already stellar catalogue (Point Break, i’m looking at you). Then again, I would watch Keanu eat breakfast so it’s no surprise i’ll be there in theaters when Chapter 3 drops next May.

7) The Lion King

Release Date: July 19th, 2019

Starring: Donald Glover, Beyonce, Seth Rogen, James Earl Jones

The final Disney live action remake on my list is the GOAT of Disney movies from the 1990s. Donald Glover aka Childish Gambino takes the role of Simba, which is just another badass resume booster for one of the most talented dudes out there. They even got James Earl Jones to return as Mufasa. This movie is going to make a billion dollars, mark my words.

6) Spider-Man: Far From Home

Release Date: July 5th, 2019

Starring: Tom Holland, Zendaya, Jake Gyllenhaal

A sequel to last year’s Spider-Man: Homecoming, this movie will be the first set in Marvel’s Phase 4. Jake Gyllenhaal steps into the role of Mysterio, a character i’ve been waiting to see on the big screen since I was a kid. The action takes place in London this time, hence the title Far From Home. I love Tom Holland as Spider-Man too. Count me in for this one come next July.

5) Toy Story 4

Release Date: June 21st, 2019

Starring: Tom Hanks, Tim Allen, Jordan Peele

I thought Toy Story 3 was the perfect way to end the series, yet here we are. I’m not going to complain about getting more adventures in this universe, they just better have a great story to back it up. I still haven’t fully recovered from all the toys almost getting incinerated at the end of the last movie. Really traumatic shit, even for a 20 year old.

4) Godzilla: King of the Monsters

Release Date: May 31st, 2019

Starring: Kyle Chandler, Millie Bobby Brown, Sally Hawkins

I absolutely adored the last Godzilla movie, despite Aaron Taylor Johnson giving the most boring performance of all time. The subtle and gradual use of Godzilla himself throughout the movie was perfectly executed in my opinion and it brought us to a world I want to spend more time in. We’re getting all the big bads this time around like Mothra, King Ghidorah, and Rodan. Not to mention Coach Taylor is the lead this time around so i’ll obviously be seeing this one.

3) Pokemon: Detective Pikachu

Release Date: May 10th, 2019

Starring: Ryan Reynolds, Justice Smith

It only took a billion years, but we’re finally getting a live-action Pokemon movie and it looks…great? I was insanely pessimistic about this when I heard it was coming out, but the trailer completely sold it for me. Not to mention it apparently did some test screenings last week and got rave reviews. Do we finally have a good video game to film adaptation on our hands? I’m hopeful. Having Ryan Reynolds voicing Pikachu always helps.

2) Star Wars: Episode IX

Release Date: December 20th, 2019

Starring: Daisy Ridley, John Boyega, Oscar Isaac, Mark Hamill

Episode IX is being billed as the final chapter in the Skywalker saga. Whether or not you believe that is up to you. I’ve really enjoyed this new trilogy thus far. Disney has done well keeping the spirit of the original films alive while adding new layers of depth to a universe that will surely go on well after we’re all dead. Couple that with two announced live-action shows on the yet-to-be launched Disney streaming service, and we’re looking at a whole lot of Star Wars in the near future folks. All hail the supreme leader, Kylo Ren.

1) Avengers 4

Release Date: May 3rd, 2019 (But likely to get bumped up to the last week of April)

Starring: Everyone that didn’t get snapped in the last movie

An obvious choice for #1. We’ve been waiting 11 years for the conclusion to this storyline, and the Marvel movies will likely never be the same after it’s done. How it all plays out is anyone’s guess. Some big names will probably bite the dust in this one too so get those tissues ready. My guess? Steve Rogers is a goner and Tony Stark becomes the new Nick Fury.

We Have A New Addition to the Double A Baseball Ridiculous Name Hall of Fame – Introducing The Amarillo Sod Poodles!

By Giorgio on November 13, 2018 • ( 2 Comments )

The Padres’ new Double-A Affiliate in Amarillo, Texas, on Tuesday announced that “Sod Poodles” had won its “Name the Team” contest. The other finalists were the Boot Scooters, Bronc Busters, Jerky and Long Haulers.

Double A Baseball has officially gone off the rails and I LOVE it. First we were given the Hartford Yardgoats. What’s a yardgoat you may ask? Hell if I know. Then we were blessed with the Binghamton Rumble Ponies, home of the best quarterback in baseball, Tim Tebow. And now ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Amarillo Sod Poodles. I guess it’s just a really fancy way of saying prairie dog? And look at that logo! That thing screams machismo. My credit cards are already maxed out, but one little Sod Poddle snapback isn’t going to land me in debtors jail.

Sears is on the Brink of Collapse and I’m Absolutely Thrilled

By Giorgio on October 12, 2018 • ( Leave a comment )

USA Today – For years, there have been reports of Sears death spiraling toward the corporate graveyard alongside other popular brick-and-mortar retailers. The company, once one of the great brands of America, has managed to stay afloat in recent years by borrowing cash from its CEO and selling off desirable assets such as real-estate and brands. Now, reports say Sears is working with advisers to prepare to possibly file for bankruptcy, as soon as this week.

I’ve never rooted against a business as hard as I root against Sears. You can add K-Mart to that list as well since they’re owned by them. In 2018, Sears has no business being allowed to function as an actual store. Every time I go into Sears it is a god damn disaster. There’s never more than two people working the place in the same shift. You got one guy floating around the sales floor folding jeans leaving the registers completely baron while the other guy is out back having a smoke. And K-Mart? Oh boy, do not even get me started. That place is an indoor flea market.

Now I understand, jobs are being lost here and I do feel bad for those just trying to make a living. This anger is directed towards upper management. The same breed of greedy SOBs that put our favorite toy peddling giraffe out on the streets. Get with the times or get left behind. I do hope a company like Macy’s steps up to the plate and hires all 15 of Sears employees as an act of good faith though. It’s funny, because an unnamed 300s blogger actually used to work at Sears back in the day, so we can just pretend it was his fault the company is in shambles now.

RIP Sears. It was fun while it lasted.

The 300s

Discussions from the cheap seats