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The Rams are 4-0 and It’s All Because of Rams Mafia

Three years ago Red and myself decided to hop on the Rams bandwagon when it was announced they were heading back to Los Angeles. At the time, the team was in shambles. Jeff Fisher was still a real person, Todd Gurley was not great at running with a football, and the Inglewood stadium was still a pipe dream. Fast forward to Week 4 Thursday Night Football in 2018 and the Rams are nothing short of ELECTRIC. J Goff went off last night for 465 yards and 5 TDs with 0 interceptions. I may be new around here, but even I know that’s a big boy showing from the sexiest man under center west of the Mississippi. He made the Vikings wet themselves on national television and if you ask me, that’s pretty damn impressive.

Now sitting at 4-0, I feel like all my work with Rams Mafia has finally paid off. I took a chance on a team that was going nowhere in the standings. I’d like to take this opportunity to declare my efforts as the turning point for this team. Rams Mafia stuck through all the bad just to get to where we are now. Sure, I tweeted my first tweet from the account today for the first time since the 2016 draft, but I’ve just been incredibly busy motivating, supporting, and standing up for Mr. Goff and Mr. Gurley III all while spreading the gospel from the ground level.

Unfortunately I never was able to honor the above tweet, (as I stated I was busy rallying the troops) but if you see me this weekend in Los Angeles the beers are on me.

All aboard, Rams Mafia has officially left the station!

 

If you’d like to come along for the ride of a lifetime, follow us @RamsMafia on Twitter

The 300s Power Rankings of America: Who’s Trending Up and Who’s Trending Down

Another week, another chance to check in and see who’s doing great and who’s doing shit.

Trending Up:

Idris Elba

Talk has once again resumed of Elba taking on the role of James Bond once Daniel Craig wraps up his fifth and final turn of the character in next year’s untitled installment of the franchise. Elba is a perfect fit to play the part in a series that is approaching the 60 year mark. I’m sure there are a lot of neck beards out there that think giving the role to a black man is a problem, but when you boil the character down to his leading traits of be being suave, sophisticated, and downright handsome, Elba checks all the boxes. It’s time this sexy son of a bitch got a shot at being 007.

Rockstar Games

Yesterday, Rockstar debuted the first official gameplay trailer for the company’s second biggest franchise outside of Grand Theft Auto, Red Dead Redemption. The only words I could use to describe what I saw are Holy and Shit. Rockstar always pushes the envelope in their game development, which is why we only get a game from them once every five years or so. They’re brilliant at crafting a world that feels lived in that’s also cinematic in nature. Aside from the various debauchery displayed across the 7 minute video, players will also have the opportunity to spend some time fishing. That’s right, everybody’s favorite in-game activity that wastes countless hours, virtual fishing. Can’t wait to spend an entire weekend catching trout and shooting prostitutes in the local saloon.

Space Force

Honestly, who’s having a better week than our official soon to be sixth branch of the military? If we’re going to actually do this nonsense, we better go all out. I’m talking lasers, Millennium Falcons, planetary shields to keep out the Cylons. Dominate space like we dominate earth. Now you may be saying “I need an affordable living wage! My healthcare is terrible!” Stop being selfish. Insurance and a few extra bucks in your pocket isn’t going to help when the Klingons come for our women and children. Think of the bigger picture.

Trending Down:

Luigi

Here lies Luigi. Murdered in cold blood on the official Nintendo presentation for the upcoming Super Smash Bros game. Best known for being a green, taller Mario. Had a mansion once. Decent option for Mario Kart 64. You will be missed.

New York Yankees

Getting absolutely smoked by the Red Sox in a four game series isn’t ideal right? Being eight games out of the division when you’re on pace for 103 wins is definitely not ideal. Playing in the one game winner-take-all wild card is even less ideal I think. Being a Mets fan writing this is probably the least ideal. Honestly though, Judge better get back soon or the Yankees are going to have a short stint in the playoffs, if they even make the cut based on the way the A’s have been playing as of late. What a shame!

My Wallet Because The 300s is Invading Boston Comic Con Tomorrow!

Stay tuned for all the nonsense we get into as we take on Boston Comic Con tomorrow. We’ll be bringing you reviews, interviews, and hopefully a picture of us with the Pink Power Ranger. Have a great weekend folks!

An Idiots Guide To Picking Your Freshman Year Fall Semester Schedule

My freshman year of college was 11 years ago, which is a horrifying realization to make. Add that to the fact that i’m writing this before starting a busy day of work conducting compliance audits when it’s 95 degrees out and there’s no AC. Things are great, I swear. But we all grow up, we all move on, and college becomes a distant memory. During those magical four years though, you tend to pick up a bit of wisdom on how the process works. Dos and Don’ts if you will. One of the most important aspects of shaping the time you have at college is your class schedule. Going in as a freshman I had no guidance. Sure, they give you guidance counselors, but mine wound up forgetting I was 3 credits short on my minor and I had to take a summer class post grad. So who can you trust, really? Well i’m here to give you freshman out there some expert advice on how to design your fall semester schedule.

1) For the love of god, do not take 8 am classes. I know you’re coming from high school where the day starts earlier, but trust me, the only thing you’re doing is setting yourself up for disaster. One of the most basic concepts that somehow gets lost when you’re making your schedule is that this is college, and you WILL be drinking excessively. Sometimes on nights you don’t even expect.

“Tipsy Tuesday? What’s that?” – a dumb college freshman somewhere

The point is, you never know when alcohol and your friends may strike, so plan ahead and don’t let those fun nights ruin your morning.

2) Avoid classes that are more than twice a week. Most colleges have the Monday/Wednesday/Friday cycle, three times a week for 50 minutes. This is my advice to stay away from that nonsense. Twice a week, either the evening Monday/Wednesday or the Tuesday/Thursday schedule. Hell, go for the once a week if you can. Save your time and energy and show up to something less.

3) If possible, give yourself a three day weekend. Now, you’re probably thinking this means Friday, Saturday, Sunday. That’s not a terrible thing, and if if it works for you, use it to your advantage. My advice however is take the Monday off instead and this is why. You’re in college. Productivity on a Friday is going to be shot regardless of whether you’re in or out of class. Even most professors run their Friday classes a bit half-ass. It’s almost the equivalent of showing up to study hall sometimes. Fridays and Saturdays rule, go have some fun. Now Sunday is where things normally get tricky. If you have shit to do on Monday, you’re most likely cramming on Sunday. Congrats, you just played yourself. Why waste a perfectly good weekend day, especially when there’s football to be watched and wings to be consumed. Kick your shoes off and relax, you’re not an adult yet so don’t set yourselves up for the Sunday Scaries way earlier than you need to in life, because let me tell you they are the worst thing on planet earth. Now you have Monday free to get all your work done while everyone else is busy with class. 10 points for Gryfinndor.

4) Do not sleep on night classes, especially mid week. I know this isn’t for everyone, but hear me out on this. You are eventually going to have to take a night class if we’re playing the odds. Better to get used to them early so it stings less later. Usually these classes have some of the older crowd in them too. You’ll run into people taking part time classes, trying to earn their degree after a hard day of work. A noble pursuit. You’ll also run into lots of seniors who need those last three credits on some nonsensical course to satisfy an elective requirement. My point is that some of these older folks are probably taking better notes in class than you’ll ever take, so not a terrible idea to make a buddy in case you feel like blowing off a class, which will start happening more and more once you figure out which professor’s don’t take attendance.

5) Try and be social. Class is where you’re going to meet most of the people you spend time with the next four years. You don’t have to be best friends with your roommates. This doesn’t really apply in the beginning of college, but as the years roll on, try and schedule classes with your friends. It makes the time fly by and you’ll eventually get some laugh out loud stories like my friends and I did (especially if the class is an acting class.)

So I say to you today college freshman, enjoy it while it lasts. Make memories and make smart decisions. And to all you college alum, please let us know if you think we’ve missed anything via Facebook, Twitter, etc. We’d love to know what tips and tricks got you through that first semester of college.

Better Call Saul Has Always Been Great, But Last Night It Turned A Corner

Being a spinoff of arguably the most critically acclaimed show in history cannot be an easy task. Breaking Bad was a juggernaut, one that slowly built over 5 seasons to one of the most satisfying conclusions I have ever seen. After the show took it’s final bow, rumors swirled of a spinoff, focused on the criminal lawyer sidekick better known as Saul Goodman. Rarely do these off shoots work, a victim of trying to recreate a magic that some would say is best left alone. This is not the case with AMC’s Better Call Saul. Entering it’s fourth season last night, Saul once again proved there’s still something special occurring in the deserts of Albuquerque.

*****If you’re not caught up, please stop reading here. Spoilers for last night’s introduction. I’ll let you know when it’s safe.

Season 4 picks up with the everyone’s favorite Cinnabon employee Gene being transported to the hospital after passing out in the season 3 premiere. Tests are run with the verdict being a false alarm. Gene is discharged, but not before an over-talkative receptionist grills him for his driver’s license and social security number, both of which seem to keep being rejected by the hospital’s computer system. The panic sets in for Gene, aka Saul, aka Jimmy, who is hiding out in Nebraska after the events of Breaking Bad. Tension builds and just when you think the jig is up, the system accepts the information and Gene leaves for the cab waiting to bring him home. This is where things get even better. Overcome by the anxiety of the scene that just unfolded, he notices that hanging from the mirror of the cab is an air freshener label Albuquerque. The cab driver’s eyes peer into the rearview, which might as well be straight into Gene’s soul. He asks for the cabbie to pull over, which he does so reluctantly. Who is this cab driver? Does he just recognize Saul from his billboards all over Albuquerque, or is this something more nefarious? Gene exists quickly and the cab doesn’t pull away. It lingers, as we the audience wait for whatever is about to happen next. Cut to opening credits.

*****END SPOILERS

Better Call Saul manages to tell it’s own story outside of the Breaking Bad world. Yes, there are a ton of characters from both series now present, including Mike, Lydia, Gus, the Salamancas, Tuco, Victor, and so on, but never has a spinoff been so well executed that it is easily on the same playing field as the original. Patrick Fabian and Rhea Seehorn as Howard and Kim are absolute geniuses in their craft, giving some of their best performances to date in last night’s premiere. AMC is so confident in Saul that it was already picked up for a fifth season.

You’ve all officially been put on notice, get to watching Better Call Saul if you haven’t already. I truly consider it to be the best drama on television, and it deserves to be seen.

The 300s Power Rankings of America: Who’s Trending Up and Who’s Trending Down

Another week, another chance to check in and see who’s doing great and who’s doing shit.

Trending Up:

Tom Cruise

Mission Impossible 6 is getting glowing reviews across the board and if you bet me 10 years ago that we’d be getting a sixth installment starring this couch jumping lunatic, well I would have joined Scientology. This franchise has been getting better and better with each release and it just goes to show you that there are still quality action films out there to be made that don’t involve Tony Stark.

 

Star Wars Fandom

Episode 9 officially started filming Wednesday with J.J. Abrams back in the Director’s chair. Confirmed to return are Mark Hamill, Back-From-The-Dead Carrie Fisher, and everybody’s favorite space pimp, Billy Dee Williams as Lando Calrissian. I’m hoping for a satisfying conclusion to the sequel trilogy as the last chapter left a lot to be desired for me personally. More Adam Driver is always welcomed though.

 

Jose Reyes

Reyes made his pitching debut this week and it could have honestly gone a lot worse. Mets got completely blown out for the worst loss in franchise history and we’re at the point where I’m just here to see how low and hilarious this can get. Reyes gave up two homers and followed it up the next day by hitting two homers, which is the first time anyone’s done that since 1876. Hard to believe this team was in the World Series in 2015. Amazing Mets indeed.

 

Trending Down:

The NFL

Are we really so petty against Colin Kaepernick that we’re editing his name out of songs for a video game? If this was a problem, why did you even use the song in the first place? Regardless of your actual stance on the matter, it’s hard for an organization to be more unaware of their own bullshit. Talk about not being able to get out of your own way.

 

Chipotle

At this point it is rarer to go into this chain and come out healthy than it is to get sick. 683 people have now claimed to have gotten sick eating at an Ohio location which is absolutely believable. Are we cooking chicken in Easy Bake Ovens or something? Guac remains extra, but diarrhea is free of charge.

 

The Wilpons

Two years ago, the New York Mets were in the World Series. They lost, but they were good enough to get there. Between countless injuries, mishandling of players, and constant penny pinching, it’s time Major League Baseball stepped in and did something about the worst ownership in professional sports. This team is a piggy bank to Wilpon family (a piggy bank that Bernie Madoff enjoyed dipping his hand into over a decade ago, but ownership would like you to think happened last week). Mets fans are tired of the nonsense, and these two frauds will not see another dime of my money til something is done.

The 300s Reviews: Guaranteed Rate Field, Home of the Chicago White Sox

My quest to see all 30 MLB parks has brought me to Chicago this week. To be honest, I’ve been putting off this park for a while, and like my 300s counterpart Big Z, I wasn’t jumping for joy at the chance to see what Guaranteed Rate Field had to offer.

Situated in South Chicago, I’ve pretty much only heard bad things when the White Sox stadium was brought up in conversation. But alas, I’m not in Chicago incredibly often and the quest is to see all 30, so it was time to bite the bullet and check this place out.

I’ve decided to do this review a bit different than my past reviews. Most of the time I’m writing these as a retrospective piece, trying to recall my favorite and least favorite parts of the experience. However, seeing as I was only at this field yesterday, I thought it would be a little fun to give you an exact play by play of how things went down. While I was there, I took brief notes on my iPhone to really capture the essence of what I was feeling in the moment. So I present to you, an unaltered account of my day yesterday at Guaranteed Rate Field.

12:35 pm: Just arrived at Guaranteed Rate Field. So far I feel like I am the only person at the stadium, it’s a ghost town. Checked out the team store, which has a good amount of Cubs gear for no good reason.

12:45 pm: Got a vodka lemonade souvenir cup for 10 bucks. Pretty god damn strong, good price.

12:56 pm: Apparently it’s the mascots birthday. Kind of a lame mascot. No spark, looks dead inside. Although he is named Southpaw, which I appreciate the lame pun for being on the south side of Chicago, and myself being a lefty.

1:07 pm: Decided to do the speed pitch machine. Arm is completely shot. In actual pain. Great form though and hit 60 mph.

1:08 pm: Fireworks mistaken for gunshots. South side Chicago problems.

1:10 pm: Made my way to the upper deck and we have closed concession stands! Supply and demand!

1:19 pm: First inning just ended. So far the best way to describe this place is lifeless. Guy in front of me has taken his shoes off and is reading a Chicago Tribune. I can’t tell exactly, but there also appears to be a 10 year old sleeping a few seats down from him. Beer guy came through and held up a beer, didn’t bark or try to make a sale, and then went back down the tunnel to the concourse.

1:30 pm: Mascot tricycle race. We’re getting desperate

1:38 pm: They’d like you to believe this is Frank Thomas’s number when in actuality it is today’s attendance.

1:48 pm: Apparently you can’t leave the 500s section if you have a 500 level ticket. Calling kangaroo court on this one. There’s no food open up here, so I will fight my way down to the main concourse.

1:53 pm: There are an excessive amount of people making balloon animals. Just had to mention that.

1:58 pm: Not sure if it’s the sweltering heat or last night’s hangover, but I’m starting to have an existential crisis about being at this game and killing another 7 hours til my flight home.

2:06 pm: Grabbing a vanilla cone to try and lift my spirits.

2:15 pm: Cone made things worse.

2:30 pm: Actually watching some of the game now. Moncada with a 3 run double! There’s audible cheering! We may just have life yet.

2:32 pm: And we’re back to deafening silence.

2:35 pm: Jose Abreu with one of the worst slides I’ve ever seen to kill a nice 2 out rally.

2:39 pm: Remember how I said it was the mascot’s birthday? They’re giving out fucking birthday cake. This place is so bizarre.

2:40 pm: “Overall moist and flavorful for a mass produced cake.” – Laurel B

2:44 pm: The cake has now led to heartburn. Luckily I always keep spare Tums on me.

3:16 pm: Just saw a grown-ass man spike his drink because he missed a foul ball. Hardest I’ve laughed all day.

3:18 pm: I think that’s all she wrote for my day in Chicago, overall just an incredibly strange place to watch baseball. Definitely not my least favorite stadium, but it’s probably bottom 3 for me. Crowd started coming alive as the runs were coming home, so this place has the potential to be fun when it wants to be. Time to catch a flight.

Official review: 6.4 out of 10

BREAKING: Islanders Hire Stanley Cup Champion Barry Trotz as Head Coach

Look, I’m not going to pretend this is what puts the Islanders over the edge as far as chasing a cup goes. We have a lot of holes, namely a star free agent center we have to re-sign, but this is such a drastic step in the right direction. The way this organization has been run over the course of my lifetime is indefensible. We’ve been plagued by bad ownership (one of which, the poster boy for the phrase “Snake It Til You Make It”, John Spano, who bought a team with absolutely no money!), bad coaches, injuries, pretty much whatever you can think of that screams circus on ice. This offseason has now brought in a 3-time Stanley Cup GM in Lou Lamoriello and current Stanley Cup Champion coach Barry Trotz. Get John Tavares to sign on the dotted line and bring in a half way decent goalie and I will be on the phone with Isles ticket reps TONIGHT.

We’ll post more info as it becomes available.

The New York Islanders Just Fired Garth Snow and I FEEL ALIVE

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ESPN-  The New York Islanders have fired general manager Garth Snow and coach Doug Weight, the organization’s first major decision under Lou Lamoriello. The Islanders announced Tuesday that Lamoriello, who was hired last month as the team’s president of hockey operations, also would assume the role of GM and would oversee the hiring of New York’s new coach. Snow, who had been the Islanders’ GM since 2006, and Weight, the team’s coach since January 2017, will remain with the organization in unspecified roles.

YES! YES! YES! Oh my god I can barely contain my excitement. Jesus Christ himself has returned in the form of Lou Lamoriello to save the Islanders from the GM/back-up goalie from hell, Garth Snow. Snow has been in charge of the team since I was in high school, and the damage he’s done to a once storied franchise can finally come to an end. Snow was ripped straight from the bench (I’m not kidding) and thrust into the GM position under previous ownership and ever since then has been the punch line of every hockey joke this side of Manhattan. Also fired was head coach Doug Weight, who I kind of feel bad for, but he had his fair share of chances to step up last season and proved to be a mediocre coach at best.

If anything, this move proves my boy Lou does not mess around. He was brought in to save this franchise and so far he’s made the most important move we could make for this franchise’s future. With John Tavares being an UFA July 1st, we needed to prove to the soon to be $10 million dollar man that this organization isn’t just the little brother of the big bad Rangers (or bastard step-child, depending on your preference.) Lamoriello has brought myself and the rest of Isles Nation hope that our All-Star captain will stick around on the island for the long haul, something I would never have dreamed of only a month ago. There’s almost too much to be positive about around the Islanders these days. Don’t forget, a new arena is on the horizon slated to open at Belmont Racetrack within the next 2 years. If the Isles can somehow convince Tavares to stay, well then it is officially on in the Eastern Conference (we still need a goalie, I am well aware.)

P.S. Previous Islanders head coach Jack Capuano (who I will not tombstone on this happiest of hockey days) once lived in the basement of GM Garth Snow’s house. There were rumors circulating forever that the reason Snow didn’t let go of Capuano sooner was because of the living situation.  This is the kind of nonsense i’ve had to deal with for the past 12 years. Thank god it’s finally over. The circus has finally left town.

The Continuing Quest to See All 30 Ballparks

By now it’s no secret that i’ve been chipping away at my goal of seeing a game at every major league ballpark. Now that the 2018 season is upon us, I thought it would be the perfect time to update you on my quest and ask you the readers what I should tackle next?

Coming into this MLB season I’ve been to 12 ballparks all while experiencing some amazing highs (Pirates, Padres) and some spectacular lows (Yankee Stadium 2.0). My list is as follows, ranked according to my level of enjoyment:

  1. Pirates
  2. Padres
  3. Cubs
  4. Rockies
  5. Brewers
  6. Red Sox
  7. Mets
  8. Dodgers
  9. Orioles
  10. Twins
  11. Phillies
  12. Yankees

It’s kind of hard to do a ranking, especially when the middle of the list doesn’t really have any faults, it’s just that it didn’t have any memorable moments. I rank the Pirates so high because of the views from PNC. Situated perfectly on the river, it’s an incredible sight with the skyline and bridges in the distance. I also managed to snag a beautiful Pirates cowboy hat from the gift shop and free beer from a broken keg, dumping gallons of free suds into the concourse (and into my cup).

Wrigley was a bachelor party so good times were had, Petco Park was a beautiful summer night the weekend of 4th of July, and Citi Field is the home of my team the Mets, so I have a bit of a bias there.

Yankee Stadium did absolutely nothing for me. It felt like a place you’d go watch gladiators fight lions, let alone a game of baseball. It was too sterile, too corporate, all things that have been said time and time again.

2018 will bring my total to 15, as I will be adding the White Sox, Nationals, and Angels to the list.

Is there anything else I should hit? Would you guys like to see some video reviews of some of these places? Let us know in the comments and we will bring you the A+ content.

A Mets Fan’s Perspective on Addison Reed

Editors note: Had to get Papa Giorgi’s perspective on Addison Reed because as a Mets fan he’s seen Reed a lot over the past couple of years. So on the off chance as a Sox fan you haven’t seen many Mets games recently, here’s a look at what to expect from Reed.

Hey Sox fans, your resident Mets fan here to give you the scoop on your newly acquired deadline acquisition, Addison Reed.

For those of you unsure of who Reed is, he’s been the Mets closer for the better part of this season after Jeurys Familia went to the DL. He was also our setup man for the miracle 2015 run to the World Series that eventually led to me consuming thrice the legal limit. So far this season he’s posted a 2.57 ERA in over 49 innings pitched.

I’m pretty bummed we lost him to be honest as he’s been our best reliever this year and he’s always pretty consistent. I get the move as his contract is set to expire at season’s end and the Sox could use the bullpen help. The return for him was pretty light, but it’s hard to get much back in a rental situation. The Mets have clearly set their focus to 2018 and I’ve come to terms with it. Stud shortstop Amed Rosario is set to debut for us tonight so the sting of losing an all around professional in Reed hurts just a little less. Enjoy him Red Sox fans, he’s a reliable player and I think you’ll find yourselves at ease when he comes in to get the job done.