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Joey Ballgame

I'd like to take this chance to apologize to absolutely nobody.

Views from the 617.

Primarily MMA and pop culture takes from down in the rabbit hole. Sports straight out of left field.

The 300s Previews Cage Titans XLIV: Peter Barrett is Having Fun Again and Everyone Should Be Terrified

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Let’s GOOOOOO! As you probably saw Red worked some magic and your boy gets to live his MMA blogger dream Saturday when we get to sit cageside at Cage Titans, a premier New England MMA promotion.

This week I’ll be speaking with a few of the fighters competing this Saturday to get their thoughts on everything from the their upcoming bouts to the fight game in general.

I led off by speaking with Peter Barrett, an insanely talented vet of the New England MMA scene, which I knew, and a sharp mind when it comes to the fight game and the local scene, which I did not. He fights Zach DiSabatino in a lightweight bout this coming Saturday at Cage Titans XLIV.

A destructive Muay Thai striker that has rounded his game off on the mats of Lauzon MMA. As he rolled up to Lauzon’s on Monday, he gave us a few minutes of his time to discuss his training, the New England MMA scene, and his penchant for rendering the scorecards unnecessary

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The 300s: So you took some time off between fights, I think a year, year and a half maybe, was that by design or no? Was this just the right time to take a fight?

Barrett: Well originally, I hurt my arm fighting Connor Barry, so I took some time off for that. But I’ve actually been trying to get a fight since November, actually September.

The 300s: Really?

Barrett: So I was supposed to fight Blair Tugman for Bellator and then he tested positive for steroids, suspended a year and that fight got scrapped. Then November for Cage Titans, I tried to get on there against Keegan (Hornstra), he ended up having a health issue with a new doctor that had been previously cleared by another doctor, but not this one. So that fight got cancelled at weigh-ins. I was aiming for January for Cage Titans and that opponent pulled out. So it’s been about a year since I fought last and I’ve been trying to fight for the last eight months.

The 300s: O wow

Barrett: I mean my trainings been good, everything’s been consistent, I was just talking to Jason Floyd the other day and mentioned that in hindsight maybe not fighting for a year was the best thing that could have happened. For awhile it felt like fighting and training, from my perspective I had built it up to be like a job more than it was to have fun and enjoy myself and be creative and just like, enjoy it, you know?  You see guys like Rob and Calvin (Rob Font and Calvin Kattar, two fighters from MA on the UFC roster) and they’re laughing and having a blast every day at training and I wasn’t, that wasn’t what it was for me at the time. Now I’m back to that. Having fun with training, learning, getting better you know? I’m just really enjoying myself. This camp has been incredible. My cardio, my strength, my skill everything is coming full circle and it’s going to put out the best product I’ve had so far.

The 300s: So this fight Cage Titans is promoting as short notice, do you think some of that “fun” is coming back from not having to think about an 8-10 week camp, you just had a few weeks and then “go”?

Barrett: Well actually I was scheduled to fight this kid Darius from Jackson-Wink. And he started dropping hints that he was going to pull out basically two weeks before we announced the fight with Zach. He hadn’t completely pulled out but we, we being Cage Titans, had already started talking to South Shore (South Shore Sport Fighting, DiSabatino’s gym) about this fight. We had it done about a week and a half before it was announced.

The 300s: You mentioned Zach, he has a lot less experience than you. Some would say that’s an automatic advantage for you but at the same time there’s also a lot less, you know, “game tape” type stuff to go on. Does that effect how you prepare at all?

Barrett: No not so much, he’s also one of Cage Titans guys. I’m familiar with Zach, I’m familiar with his style. But he did just lose to Estell in his last fight. There’s no tape of that fight. Somehow Flo lost it when they were transferring files. It’s not on Flo, Youtube, Facebook. But if you look back at his fight with Keegan Raymond, which Keegan did not answer the bell for the beginning of the third round, maybe he quit after the first round…but Keegan was able to pressure him and pick apart Zach pretty easily you know? And that’s what we saw at the last fight. Darius Estell, his last opponent, just beat the breaks off him. And that’s what I’m taking into this. He doesn’t do well under pressure, he covers up, he shells up, and I’ll be able to, really just stay in control and pressure this fight the way I want it to go.

The 300s: Before we hit “go” (Note: Before I hit record) you mentioned you were spending some time at Lauzon’s, I know you’re at Sityodtong, are you vacillating between those two, those are your home camps?

Barrett: Ya so for this fight I added some time over here at Lauzon’s which has been a great help to my ground game. My home base has always been at Sityodtong and that’s where I got most of my training for this camp. I also went down to Triforce working with Nate (Andrews) a little bit before his PFL fight. I’ve been up with Tom Egan’s guy’s at Trifecta in Quincy wrestling. You know, like you said, I’ve been in the game for a little bit, got a really good relationship across the community, and it’s provided me with the opportunity to cross-train outside of my home camp as much as possible which is a blessing.

The 300s: Ya that’s cool. I didn’t even plan to ask you this but reading between the lines over the years, it seems unlike the big camps in California and Florida that seem to have beef with each other, the Mass MMA community and MMA gyms seem to have pretty good relationships and at least healthy, friendly competition. Any thoughts on that?

Barrett: Ya that’s what makes it work – at least the higher level pro promotions in the area like CES, Cage Titans, they do a good job of bringing guys in for local guys so local guys don’t necessarily have to fight each other, which then lets us cross-train and just get better and really increase the level of competition in the area, which is the end game. We want to be able to say, “I come from New England MMA, we’re some of the baddest motherfuckers in the country,” you know? We got guys like Rob and Calvin, who just destroyed Ricardo Lamas last weekend, they’re the guys putting the name out for Northeast MMA right now. By being able to cross-train and bring that level up behind the scenes it allows  us to go out there and perform so much better.

The 300s: That’s Awesome, that’s really cool. Look I only have one more and it’s been burning a hole in me, it’s the one I’ve been waiting to ask: you are hands down the one true, blue knockout artist on this card. Are you giving us one Saturday?

Barrett: Absolutely. 100%. You’re either going to get total fuckin knock out or Zach is going to crawl out of that cage because he can’t stand on his lead leg anymore.

The 300s: I love it. Alright man, I don’t want to hold you up anymore, anything you want to throw out there before I put this to print?

Barrett:  Yes Shout out to my sponsors  Butcher Box Sports, Sheath Underwear, DGAF Clothing, Zen Den in Norwell. Those are my big guys that are always behind me so check them out on their social medias as well.

Peter Barrett’s social: Twitter, IG

Peter “Slippery Pete” Barrett vs. Zach DiSabatino goes down at Cage Titans Titans XLIV. June 15, 2019 at 6:00pm at Plymouth Memorial Hall in Plymouth. MA.

Remembering D-Day 75 Years Later

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We’re not much of a history blog. We don’t generally butter our bread in regaling our readers with glorious battlefield triumphs nor somber odes and recollections of the sacrifices made on them. To me though, June 6th deserves a mention. The guy in the twitter video above with balls that could fill Lake Michigan deserves a mention.

75 years ago today, the Allies, in this context mostly meaning the US, UK, and Canada, but also consisting of troops from New Zealand, Denmark, and a slew of other European nations, brought the fight to the Germans. They decided enough was enough and brought the fight to the actual, destructive, permeating evil we were at war with. On June 6, 1944 a slew of Allied troops both parachuted into Normandy, France and landed via boat on its beaches, coming under heavy fire from both machine guns and artillery. They said one last hail mary, so to speak, and charged up the four main “beach heads” (basically points of attack) called “Gold”, “Sword”, “Omaha”, and “Juno” directly at enemy fortresses, taking at least 10,000 casualties.

And they won. They took the beach. They had arrived on enemy territory and got a foothold on the European subcontinent that had been long lost to the German superpower. It was one of the most daring, dramatic, and dynamic attacks in the history of modern warfare.

We know the rest of the story. We won. Then we won in Japan. The US became known as as the world #1 in most regards and Germany was for the second time and once and for all (as of now) sent packing. But today, 75 years later, take a second to remember everyone who landed on that beach, probably not just thinking but knowing they were going to die. Especially think of the 10,000 that were right, including countless that were never found and whose families have never really received any closure except for the notion that their loved one indeed died a hero.

It’s been 75 years and I still can’t fathom having not just the courage but the constitution to take part in such an act of combat, even when knowing you were basically trying to play a part in a major step in setting the world free. Those boys back then could though. And that should be remembered and discussed forever.

A Dialogue On a Manufactured High School B-Ball Team

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Joey B and Red react to the news that LeBron James and Dwyane Wade will both have their kids transferring to the same high school to play ball together. Time really is a flat circle, huh?

Joey B:
Hey Red,

To kick things off, where on the scale of Jonathan Moxon’s Dad – Stage Parents do Bron and Wade fall here in terms of winning vicariously through your, in this case, high school basketball player?

Red:

This is simply LeBron reading all of my criticisms of him and the NBA at large for its way too chummy AAU culture and doubling down on the death of competition. Where’s the killer instinct? Idk maybe its because I was always the smaller, less skilled, underdog on all my teams, but I would much rather be leading my hometown public high school to a state title than teaming up with a bunch of other rich kids to go 82-0. Its not like LeBron Jr. needs the exposure for recruiting either!

Joey B:
Ya you make a good point. What is there really to be gained by going undefeated and beating these teams with 6’1 Centers 148-26? It’s like Bron shot DWade a “hey know what’d be fun text?” text and DWade didn’t have the heart to say “…why?” (There was no way this was Wade’s idea).It’s insane that this concept has trickled down to H.S sports though. Whose next? Would you want to see Matt Stafford Jr. chuckin to Megatron III?

Red:
At least LeBron Jr. didn’t get completely cucked like his dad and transfer to D Wade’s son’s school. But this is how Hollywood became a thing. All the best of the best just moved to one part of the world and claimed it for themselves as the entertainment capital. Sounds great right? Except when it creates a gigantic bubble of entitlement and they’re all worse off for it. Learn some adversity guys, it’ll help you in the long run.

Joey B:
Haha totally. It’s almost like Lebron and Wade are becoming a two-headed Lavar Ball. Our sons are playing TOGETHER. In HIGH SCHOOL. Then in COLLEGE. Then in the NBA.

It would be hysteeeeeeerical if either/or/both didn’t pan out and they ended up on the fringes of Lithuanian professional basketball.

Red:
Man not to go off in a completely different tangent, but Lavar Ball is a FORCE of nature. The man just speaks things into existence. He predicted his son would get drafted by the Lakers, he predicted on Colin Cowherd’s show the dumpster fire we’re seeing with Magic and the Lakers now, and he even had me believing all three sons would play in the NBA together. Well once the Big Baller Brand shoe company imploded I had to take a step back, but you just know Lavar will not stop. As a marketing man, I respect it.

Anyways, way to put mountains of pressure on your kids guys. I don’t really know how good these kids are supposed to be so I could be totally wrong here, but just look at Michael Jordan’s son, who’s name is Jeffrey Michael Jordan by the way because MJ is a fucking psychopath. He played at Central Florida and was never going to live up to his dad’s legacy, but at least MJ didn’t shine a goddamn light on the kid just waiting for him to fail in front of millions of people.

Joey B:
Lavar Ball is a categorical piece of shit. /thread.

But in general, even if the kids are supported and nurtured in the right way, imagine the pressure. I mean look what happened to Vince Wilfork’s kid (not linking to it out of respect, you have google). Even if the parent does everything right, if they were a fucking superstar it cannot be easy trying to grow and thrive in that shadow. Hence why really not a lot of start athlete’s kids have made it.

I can think of Prince Fielder and the Long brothers….and that’s it. Kind of a startling statistic.

Red:
I’ve read rumors about how LeBron wants to play until he’s 40 because it would give him the opportunity to play with his son, assuming he’s actually good enough to reach the league. Sort of like Ken Griffey Sr. playing with Ken Griffey Jr. and hitting back to back bombs. I’m not a huge LeBron fan obviously, but it would be pretty cool to see an old ass LeBron Sr. throwing an alley oop dunk up for LeBron Jr.

Joey B:
Yaaaa I can’t stand him and even I have to admit that’d be pretty cool.

Speaking of which zero percent chance Vlad Jr.’s team couldn’t do with a cannon armed outfielder off the bench. Maybe Sr. can’t hit anymore but they still could be on the field at the same time COME ON.

Red:
Love Vlad, but he aged like a can of beer in my trunk. Guy was hobbling around like he was on stilts by his early 30s.

TLDR; Moral of the blog? Have professional athletes for parents and you’re golden!

Joey B:
Or emotionally damaged beyond repair.

Introducing: Joey B’s Twitter Follow of the Week

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Greetings readers. I’ve toyed with this idea for a long time.

You see, Twitter is a wonderous place – if you know how to use it, more on that in a moment. Remarkably, it has managed to be the bedrock for actual communities – loosely-knit but definitively intertwined folks of usually similar background who speak in similar lingos and subtexts and that provide you with a specific and sometimes peculiar angle on things.

With that said all of twitter has it’s ups and down. Sure, you can spiral into an out of control rage if you choose to hate-follow accounts that you know are going to grind your gears. But you can also find a slew of information, news, and updates if you choose to.

I am going to provide you with nothing found in paragraph two. This will be a purely entertainment-based blog. Every Friday I will deliver unto you a Twitter account that you may or may not follow for the chuckles it provides.

Week 1 we have an entry from none other than the community known as Irish Twitter. What makes Irish Twitter awesome, particularly to us across the pond, is that they are acutely and hilariously self-aware. They know that some of the shit that goes down in my ancestors’ country is ridiculous and that they themselves sometimes sound insane. How do I know that? Well they even tweet phonetically in an Irish accent. It’s fucking amazing. Anyway, Irish Twitter’s aforementioned off beat self-aware, and sometimes self-effacing sense of humor is easily digested through the lense of the first ever Twitter Follow Of The Week: Locally Hated ( @JurassicArse ) .

From what I’ve been able to gather, Locally Hated is an education professional who loves to satirize both Irish/UK politics and his local brethren’s way of life.

Not unexpectedly, he also has pointed yet still hilarious opinions of the British and their many…many flaws……

The Protestant-Catholic tension that has simmered/bubbled/spilled in Ireland on repeat for years? Check.

To many Irish people, us Irish-Americans who push our heritage a little hard are a bit grating, but also kind of humorous. Locally Hated is among those many.

He has many, many more tweets revolving around, of course, Irish sports, more politics, his life as a professional and father, etc. But, as he took a shot at us above, lets end with the most stereotypical topic when it comes to the Irish, let’s end with a tweet about drinking.

 

So there you have it folks. The first edition of the Twitter follow of the week. Let me know what you think and feel free to give the lad a follow if you feel like it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Daniel Sloss: The Comedy Hero We Need in the Era of “PC” and “Woke”

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On Sunday nights, being the cinefile that I am, I like to watch a movie in the approximately two hour window leading up to when I’d like to go to bed. Personally, this is an ideal way to end the weekend and ready the body and mind for the week ahead in the best way possible.

This practice obviously involves an arduous selection process that is not for the faint of heart. First of is my mood and pickiness. Do I want a comedy? A drama? A thriller? Then there is the shear volume. Netflix, all the premiurm channels, new on demand movies I’d be willing to pay a few bucks for. This weekend was particularly rough as aside from Saturday’s festivities I did nothing but watch movies and TV so I had a recently viewed palate to make do with.

Always a sucker for a solid coming-of-age movie I went with one. It was a disastrous choice. There was too little going on with too many people. None of it made me care about any of it. About 30 minutes in a realized I needed something else. However at that point I was also getting tired. I didn’t have the energy for a 90+ minute endeavor. Then I remembered….

In searching for the latest British (kind of obsessed with across the pond entertainment right now) fare on Netflix, I came across a comedian named Daniel Sloss. I watched the trailer to his special (actually two) and added it to the list. On this sleepy Sunday night I went back, found the first special, “Dark” was only an hour long, and started watching.

Let me tell you this was the best stand up special I’ve seen in years, and this side of Segura and Burr. Sloss combines a lot, but not a frantic amount, of energy with supremely crafted, utterly intelligent jokes, all told with an almost shrugging wit and humility.

What makes this special however, is how without even trying to do so Sloss gives the middle finger to PC culture in general. The special is called “Dark” because of some of the topics of Sloss’ jokes. This isn’t “dark” humor in the vein of Anthony Jeselnik however, these are jokes based on the harder, more emotional. and more painful experiences one may have to walk through in life, but that are, as Sloss points out, indeed real things that happen to us and that need to be addressed. Basically, you don’t have a right to be offended by what other people are going through, or by their need to somehow find humor in it.

There are even some serious moments in “Dark” (I admittedly haven’t watched the second of the two specials, “Jigsaw”, yet). I understand that isn’t for everybody. But his ability to work his way through those intermissions and bringing you out laughing on the other end is not only relatable, but a sort of metaphor for life itself.

So I IMPLORE your to take the time to watch this kid do his thing in the coming days. Joey B stamp of approval through and through.

-Joey B

 

Apparently Rob Pelinka is Insane and the Lakers Are Even WORSE OFF Than We Thought

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Remember when Red wrote a wonderful blog regarding the schadenfreude we as Boston fans were feeling as we watched the entire LA Lakers organization implode? That was not even a fortnight (apparently we’re just using that now, shouts GOT) ago and already it seems that Red’s musing were just the tip of the proverbial iceberg. Below what doomed Jack Dawson to an icy grave lay even greater and more fundamentally devastating risks to Lakers basketball mortality.

That’s saying something. I mean Red already touched on the fact that Pelinka was a tumor in that organization. Jeanie Buss is listening to everyone and everything except logic and basketball sense. Add that to the fact that it seems like NBA players have woken up to the fact that playing for noted top-5 global narcissist Lebron James maybe isn’t all it’s cracked up to be and man, things were already pretty bad.

Now out comes these stories where Pelinka seems like not just a piece of shit, but an absolute lunatic. First you have all the stories of Pelinka quoting the Bible in reference to players like Kentavious Caldwell-Pope. Just sort of out there references better fit for a WWE ring than the NBA. Now you have this story about Pelinka arranging for Kobe to have dinner with Heather Ledger after he was so enamored with Ledger’s performance in “The Dark Knight.” The only problem is the only time Kobe was in New York after the movie came out was a full year after Ledger died. So that would have been tough to say the least.

To recap, the Lakers are owned and operated by an increasingly isolated owner getting bad advice from possibly worse advisors. Their star player is an egomaniac who doesn’t seem to have the clout or magnetism in the league he once did to get players to come play with him, and the other guy involved is a snakelike pathological liar who quotes the Bible in reference to point guards. Got it.

Red already said the Lakers were a dumpster fire. That fire has now spread.

Isn’t it great?

-Joey B.

To Be Mad and Lashing Out – MY List of the 10 Best High School Movies of Our Time

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Context: There is a movie coming out called “Booksmart” (truth be told iono how it’s stylized but why the fuck do people stylize shit anyway?) directed by Olivia Wilde. I saw a trailer for it when I went to see “Us” and it looked not totally dissimilar to “Superbad” in the best ways possible, swapping in female leads and the unique challenges that girls encounter in adolescents as opposed to boys. It looked funny and endearing in the way only High School Movies (note the fucking capital letters) can. It’s getting rave reviews and I look forward to seeing it.

Leading up to it’s a release, a certain website, spearheaded by a certain media personality known for his affection for Boston sports and who made his bones working for a certain, global leader in sports, posted a list of their top 25 High School Movies (notice themmmmm!) of all time. It was aggregated and synopsized by the writing staff, and while the content is good, especially at calling out some truly repugnant scenes from John Hughes’ work in the 80’s, there were some also some holier-than-though Woke Generation criticisms (I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY HAD THE GUYS IN HIGH SCHOOL TALKING ABOUT WHO’S HOT AND WHO’S NOT IN “SHE’S ALL THAT!!!) and some GLARING omissions and misorderings.

So here I am, Uncle Joey B, to save you all with my list of the Top 10 High School Movies Of Our Time. What does “of our time mean”? Well, I was born in the late 80’s and really began to be aware of pop culture by the late-90’s. So, while I did not get to see High School Movies that came out beginning in the late-90’s, I did a few years after their release when they still were still relevant with casts I recognized and soundtracks I enjoyed. A critical piece of this is that technology had not begun to evolve at breakneck speeds yet as it has now. In contrast to the timeline of my life, someone who was only 7 or 8 in 2007 would have (probably?) been too young to have seen “Superbad” upon its release. By the time they were 13ish, it’s 2012 or 2013 and Michael Cera holding a flip phone perusing porno MAGAZINES looks likes a total dickhead. That inability to relate just wasn’t as much of a problem as I cruised into my teenage years.

One quick note: I’m also going to include “All-Timers”. These are movies from any era that regardless of when they came out speak to you and your sense of nostalgia, to a time when you had no idea what was going on with your mind, body, or soul.

But enough preface. Here is the list, starting with a couple that didn’t make the cut.

 

Joey B’s Personal Selection – “The Spectacular Now” (2013)

This is by and large a drama and a love story, but it is specifically about two broken people. One has done an inspiring job keeping it together (Shailene Woodley) and one is perfectly fine self-destructing (Miles Teller). This movie will make you uncomfortably relate to it, whether you care to admit it or not.

Honorable Mention #1 (So I Don’t Get Executed) – “Mean Girls” (2004)

This is literally everyone I know’s “favorite movie” in some capacity. It is considered a sin to be a graduate of the classes of 04′-07′ and not worship at the temple of this movie. I like it and think it’s funny, it launched Rachel McAdams, but it just doesn’t land as much with me. Still a phenomenal flick though, just not my thing.

Honorable Mention #2 (Just Plain Fuckin Weird) – “Virgin Suicides” (1999)

Sofia Coppola’s directorial debut told the story of three blonde sisters who were controlled by overprotective parents and therefore….see the title. That’s all I’m telling you.

Honorablest Of Mentions – “Dead Poet’s Society” (1989)

I’ve written about how Robin Williams was my hero growing up and quite frankly this one transcends being a High School Movie so I couldn’t include it in the list. That said, Williams costars alongside a number of talented young actors in a movie that explores how we navigate class, wealth, education, and relationships from the POV of a prep school in the 50s.

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10.) “Can’t Hardly Wait” (1998)

One in a slew of “last night of high school/last party” movies, this one appears to be just a melting pot of cliches mashed together for pure cheesy entertainment: the geek going after the hot chick, the nerds trying to go to their first party, the wanksta (particularly relevant in the 90’s). However, “Can’t Hardly Wait” had fuckin LAYERS. The wanksta (Seth Myers) was actually lonely and sad, the hot chick fucking hated the attention. Every insecurity we now know, in retrospect, lay within ourselves and our friends, is laid bare.

9.) “She’s All That” (1999)

Accidentally catching feelings for someone, especially in high school when your hormones are about as predictable as an unlabeled edible, is a tale as old as time. In this one, Freddy Prinze Jr. makes a bet with Paul Walker that he can turn the geek of their H.S into prom queen. GUESS WHAT HAPPENS?! Anyway, I never thought Rachel Leigh Cook got enough credit, neither for being as stunning as she is nor for being a fucking FORCE in “She’s All That”.

8.) “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off  (1986)

Some might criticize me for the low ranking, but as years have gone by, this one has started to seem like it moves slow to me. It still is a fucking hilarious tale of a kid skipping school to hustle his way into the ultimate day off. Not to mention each actor NAILS their character, from Broderick’s cocky, slick Ferris, to Cameron and his neuroses, to Genie the jealous, bitter, goodie two-shoes sister. A flawed masterpiece if there ever was one.

7.) The Perks Of Being A Wallflower (2012)

This is purely a favorite movie of mine, probably top-20, and I know a favorite of Mattes’ as well. A scared-shitless freshman with a troubled past is befriended, not without some bumps along the way, by a group of older misfits including, of a course, “a girl”. Just gut punch after gut punch of teenage confusion and young love, but in the more serious context of mental illness. Just wow, not a ton to write man. (LoveyouEmma).

6.) “The Girl Next Door” (2004)

I’ve recently begun reminding anyone who will listen and a handful who didn’t want to about this forgotten treasure. To be very, very clear, this is “my” High School Movie. This is what brings back allll the feels, as the kids say. I watched this with a couple of my buddies probably 10 times between the ages of 15 and 16. Emile Hirsch stars as a bookish high school senior who tries to figure out how to pay for his upcoming four years at Georgetown, all the while falling for the girl who has moved in next door and has a couple of scantily clad skeletons in her closet. I recently watched again and remembered every dumb thing I said to every girl I went after in high school and every dumb way I got dumped for every dumb fuck up. And I smiled all the way to the credits.

P.S – The limo scene with David Gray playing is the GOAT High School Movie scene.

5.) “10 Things I Hate About You” (1999)

Another favorite of mine as well as friend of the blog Patty B’s. This movie is just fucking iconic. You have Heath Ledger before we knew what he could REALLY do. Joseph Gordon-Levitt at his baby-faced, affable best. A smokin hot Alex Mack. David Krumholtz still being David Krumholtz all the way back in 1999. Just excellent. Interesting it was also a dating-for-cash movie like “She’s All That” but this one is based on Shakespeare, as Ledger tries to woo a not-having-it Julia Stiles as part of a bigger plot, except, you know. Also: a BANGIN mid/late-90’s alt-rock soundtrack set in a bougie high school. You couldn’t tell if you were jealous or hated everyone in it.

4.) “Varsity Blues” (1999)

Do I really need to explain this one? When the star-QB (Paul Walker again) goes down, backup and popular every-man Jonathan “Mox” Moxon (James Van Der Beek) has to come in and finish the season out under the pressure of his town, his overbearing father, his psycho coach, and his disillusioned concern for his cliched present and hopeful future. Also featured is horrrrrrrrrrribly underrated 90’s chick Amy Smart. There’s all the partying, girls, and frivolity that make these movies great with the sensitivity that makes them mean something.

3.) “American Pie” (1999)

Aftermath Records albums and High School Movies, THAT’S WHAT 1999 DOES (DID…apparently). Anyway the aforementioned dipshits at the aforementioned website left this one off. their list. altogether. How you even begin to create such a list without “American Pie” is beyond me. It is a tale as old as time: A group of self-conscious guys facing the end of high school want to lose their virginity while their smoother or more advanced friends help them do it. That’s it. That’s the movie. Except along the way they learn one of life’s greatest lessons: there are far better things to discover in the fairer sex than just carnal pleasures. Trust me on that one, I’m 30, single, and have severe trust and commitment issues. “American Pie” also boasts maybe the GOAT High School movie feud in Stiffler-Finch. And Tara Reid.

2.) “Dazed And Confused” (1993)

I either wrote or considered writing a blog awhile back with the thesis being “Dazed And Confused” is the greatest “Rainy Day Movie” of all time. That is a very specific, unquantifiable, and inflammatory thing to state but I stand by it. On a lazy Saturday when it is rainy and you don’t want to go outside, if this Linklater classic comes on you are all set. The story of popular QB Randall “Pink” Floyd and the complicated way one has to navigate friendships between cliques in high school, “Dazed And Confused” is hysterical, touching, and a great look into that moment in your life when you realize there just might be more to it.

1.) “Superbad” (2007)

Did anyone else get caught drinking/smoking something/fucking/making out/doing literally anything in high school? Well up to when “Superbad” came out, movie party scenes always seemed overblown and inaccurate to me. They just didn’t encapsulate what I experienced. Then “Superbad” came out and the final party scene was so dead on I remember feeling a momentary panic as if I had been caught as referenced above. Like, “Oh shit, they know.” Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg did it, man – they nailed what it was like to wrap up high school, go to a party, hang out with your best friend, and be terrified of what happens next. GOAT.

 

No conclusion.

-Joey B.

The Pats Might Be Going After Kyle Rudolph

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This is the two-sided coin of being a Pats fan in a nutshell. It is stressful watching Belichick avoid any big splashes in the early days of free agency. We bite our nails as contributor after contributor is snatched up on contracts ranging from “way too much” to “that makes sense why the fuck are we staying put?” The doubt, whether we want to admit it or not, begins to creep in about next year and concerns starts to swirl around the holes in our roster.

Then, slowly but surely, things, start to turn around. Like a time lapse of a flower blooming. The front office make a smaller move or two, like the Austin Sefarian-Jenkins pick up earlier this spring. Then the draft comes and the team makes a number of solid picks, including a few selections of unspectacular but ready-now players that can immediately contribute and fill a hole or two that glared at us back in March (K’Neal Harry, who actually is spectacular but is also ready-now, Chase Winovich).

Things slowly come into focus, for the 866th time in a row you realize that Belichick and Nicky Twoguns have had a plan all along. And then the next few, significant moves are made and you can’t even read a story about OTAs without standing and screaming “let’s gooooo”. And that is what being a Patriots fan is.

First we signed Dontrelle Inman, a Brandon LaFell-contribution level type of receiver that should immediately be in the mix for the rights to be one of TB12’s top options. We signed the controversial but talented DT Mike Pennel. Then we resigned Danny Shelton, who had an up and down season last year but if nothing else STILL has loads of potential and can give you a number of good snaps per game at DT. And now, as continue to try and plug a Gronk-sized hole at TE, it looks like we’re chasing the very “gettable” Kyle Rudolph. Who knows if we’ll close this deal and if so, there are questions surrounding what the 29 year old Rudolph can contribute at this point. Regardless, this is Belichick chess at its best. Find some pieces, put them on the board, see how they can move, and either keep them on and cultivate a strategy using them or cut them. Simple as that. Do it slowly, do it wisely, do it without losing you shirt. Who knows, you might get six Super Bowls out of out.

I for one believe Rudolph can still give you about 500/5 from the TE position. He is also a solid blocker and a good guy to have in the locker room. I can’t imagine adding him can hurt. It’s possible the only thing in this trade’s way is the Vikings foreseeing playing us, and Rudolph, in the Big Game some time soon. But lets assume Belichick lands him or a similar tight end in the next few weeks. It would be just the latest example of a master class in roster building. They should teach it at West Point. Army Assembling By The Greats.

Might get LIV tattooed tomorrow.

-Joey B.

 

Godspeed, Koji Uehara

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So unbeknownst to probably anyone Koji was still an active player until yesterday. He is 44 and didn’t come to the bigs until he was 34 after a 10 year career in Japan.

He is most known for his 2013 run with the Sox when he was the polar opposite of Craig Kimbrel and others we’ve had tasked with recording our final three outs. He was unflappable, reliable, and most of all, giddy as all hell as he posted a 1.61 era as our closer that year.

So happy trails, o ye of the many high 5s. Thanks, in no small part, for the ring.

Thursday Morning Good Ol’ Fashion Blog Soup

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There’s a lot going on in the world of #sports and #entertainment that we can discuss here for #content but that I can’t really draw out into a full blog. So let’s fuck around and touch a lot of bases, shall we?

-A few really interesting fights have been announced lately that I never blogged (woooops).

Nate Diaz returns to fight Anthony Pettis at UFC 241 in August. Hooo baby. That is going to be something. They’ll duel at 170lbs, where Pettis recently arrived and found success, knocking out Stephen Thompson. I’d prefer to see Diaz stick to 155 as his run wayyyy back in the day at 170 didn’t go so well and  he simply lacks the strength and power to deal with the bigger and stronger fighters of the welterweight division. On top of that, I still think both are contenders at 155 when they have their heads on straight. And when Nate, you know, fights. As for the match up, if Diaz can set an early pace moving forward, Pettis will likely wilt moving backward as he always has. Likewise if “Showtime” can find a rhythm with his kicks and movement early, it could be a long night for Nate. An x-factor could be if Diaz calls on what happened in his first fight with Conor McGregor and gets the fight to the ground. Pettis is no slouch in the submission department but he’s not a 209 black belt.

Secondly, it would appear Khabib and Dustin Poirier are going to unify the 155lb strap at UFC 242 in Dubai. The card would kick off at 2:00pm EST so it is a PRIME day drinking event. Khabib, in my opinion, is going to maul anyone he faces but at this point in his career you can never count Poirier out, so looking forward to this one.

-Let’s leave MMA town now. I posted something to Facespace about this last night but I’ll leave it here as well. “Game Of Thrones” is the best TV of our lifetime. A true spectacle and something that if I was a douchie Hollywood-type I’d refer to as an achievement. So just because this season hasn’t gone according to YOUR plan and just because there are plot holes that YOU don’t like because they need to wrap the show up, it doesn’t change the fact that there won’t be anything like this ever again and it is still fantastic. It also doesn’t make you cool to publicly scream that opinion off a rooftop.

(O and if you’re trying to turn Khaleesi’s rampage into some sort of anti-feminist slight, please seek some fucking help. Where were you when Cersei did the same fuckin thing?)

-Red and I, once accompanied by Papa G, have kicked off the 2019 golf season, thus far with mixed results. Papa G actually hit the longest tee ball these eyes have ever seen. Not in any sort of productive direction but man I’ll tell ya, it was a bomb. I actually could see all of us making a little leap in ability this year if we keep playing consistently. Either way nice to be out there considering it’s usually been 45 and rainy for the past three months.

–Mattes wrote a great blog on the Jamie Collins signing so go there for a full breakdown. My only divergence from what he wrote is that I’m seeing a few #footballguys note that data points to Van Noy being more productive in our defense than Collins was. Collins just had more flashy plays and pure, visual athleticism. Still, I still love the signing and whenever you can sign a Jamie Collins it is going to make your defense better. As a matter of fact I think the Pats’ LB corps is now sneaky-stacked with Collins, Van Noy, Hightower, forgotten stud Ja’Whaun Bentley, and Roberts.

-I posed this to Red yesterday and I don’t think he’s feeling it but it wouldn’t be the end of the world if the B’s didn’t sweep tonight because they’ve been the only reason I’ve been leaving my house on Saturdays. Having to regress to going out and then socialize would be miserable at this point. So as much as I’m rooting for a B’s victory, it wouldn’t crush me if they didn’t get it.

-The Celtics find themselves in the lottery despite getting to the second round this year. Shouts to Danny Ainge for being able to get us picks but not banners. Pretty cool bud. Anyway there will be a few guys floating around at 14 we could snag and I’m sure someone here will get into it in depth. Looking at the board KZ Okpala from Stanford has an ever improving shot at 6’8 and, if he falls into our lap, Rui Hachimura (Zags) would bring a great skill-set into our locker room and through the season before we bow out before the ECF again.

-I guess some survey came out and the Boston accent won sexiest in America. I’ve lived here 99.9% of my life (2 short stints in Jersey) and I can honestly tell you that if someone comes at me with a hard Boston accent I assume they can’t read. To be honest I think it’s because a lot of people my age fake it to sound hard and if you fake an accent to sound cool or hard you probably are indeed illiterate. Bad beat.

-Lastly, John Wick 3 comes out soon/came out (I don’t fuckin know bro) and LET’SSSS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I’m a noted avoider of most pure action, boom boom bang pow movies but I love John Wick. It’s Keanu as Bourne pretty much. What’s not to like?

 

I’ll be introducing a new weekly/bi-weekly feature tomorrow that I’ve had brewing for awhile so we’ll see how that goes. We only have a couple more until the weekend, folks.

-Joey B