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Joey Ballgame

I'd like to take this chance to apologize to absolutely nobody.

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Primarily MMA and pop culture takes from down in the rabbit hole. Sports straight out of left field.

T.J. Dillashaw Suspended by NYSAC, Relinquishes UFC Bantamweight Title

ESPNTJ Dillashaw is no longer the UFC bantamweight champion.

Dillashaw (16-4) announced Wednesday morning that he has “voluntarily relinquished” the UFC’s 135-pound title after he was informed by the New York State Athletic Commission and the United States Anti-Doping Agency of an “adverse finding in a test taken for my last fight.” ESPN confirmed the validity of the statement via multiple sources.

Ever heard the one about the guy who went to New York to claim two title belts and came away with none? Holyyyy shit. To quote one of my favorite movies – because I have an intimate knowledge of movies despite not being featured in movie-related podcasts – “Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels” (1997): “A minute ago this was the safest job in the world. Now it’s turning into a bad day in Bosnia.”

The plan for “Killashaw” was to drop into the City That Never Sleeps, woop Henry Cejudo for the Flyweight Championship, and go go back back to Cali with both the 125lb and 135 lb belt around his waist. Not only did he get stopped by Cejudo that night in January, but the NYSAC has suspended him for a year retroactive to his fight in January and (twitter tells me) fined him $10,000.00 for testing positive for something illegal. Not a fantastic look. Taking a page out of the Michael Scott School of Getting Ahead of the Story, Dillashaw has chosen to relinquish his title rather than be stripped. After thinking on it I like that move. I could have seen him forcing the UFC to strip him or watch other 135ers battle for the interim title, belittling them from the interwebs as they do so. He went the high road here.

As for his legacy, well it’s complicated, as it always is nowadays. Cody Garbrandt once claimed Dillashaw was “on everything” and one look at Tyler James’ own posted photos of all the supplements he takes and it suddenly is not a surprise GNC Icarus flew too close to the sun. I mean at what point does whether or not you knew you were taking something quote on quote “illegal” not matter when you are shoving everything possible down your gullet to improve your performance past your natural skills and abilities, born with and learned? And this is not meant to be an argument for or against ‘roids, I’m just saying, as another one of my favorite movie quotes goes – because I really do enjoy movies – from “Four Brothers” (2004), “You keep knocking on the devil’s door long enough and sooner or later someone’s gonna answer you.” Basically Dillashaw burned the candle at both ends.

The division itself is now without its biggest star but is STACKED with talent. You have Marlon Moraes and Aljo Sterling, a rematch between the two of whom should be the next title fight. Behind them you have guys like Pedro Munhoz, fresh off a KO of former champ Garbrandt, and phenom Petr Yan ready to ascend. Hell, with the King out of the way maybe there still is a chance for longtime bridesmaid Rafael Assuncao, just off a wayyyyyyyy too long awaited No. 1 Contender’s fight loss to Moraes, to rise up and get the title shot he’s so sorely waited for.

The long and the short of it is that Dillashaw definitely screwed up here and that is both bad for his career and the UFC, with its perpetually yo-yo’ng number of bankable stars. However in a sport that waits for no one and where timing is everything, the always exciting bantamweight division is ready to pick up the slack.

-Joey B.

 

 

 

 

 

One Way or Another It Seems Mr. Kraft is Going To Walk

Wall Street JournalFlorida prosecutors have offered to drop charges against New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft and a number of other men charged with soliciting prostitution, according to a person familiar with the matter, but there is a catch. The proposed agreement calls for the men to admit they would have been proven guilty at trial.

So I kind of feel like this is the beginning of the end for the per/prosecution of Robert Kraft. There seems to be two end games here and they both end with him walking away from this with nothing but some embarrassing headlines to his name.

In scenario number one, Kraft takes this deal, officially says ya you had me, and walks away. No conviction, no penalty, just a pat on this tasks force’s head for a job well done and that is it.

On the other hand he says “nah lol lets do this” and they take this to trial. By now it’s reported, on the record in fact that Mr. Kraft was a client of two licensed masseuses, one the owner and the other the manager of the spa he was visiting. Cash was indeed exchanged but it seems a mighty large leap to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that that cash was intended specifically for sex when there wasn’t any audio. Therefore, it is going to be quite the longshot to get a conviction on this. Things aren’t looking good for the prosecutors.

So without getting into the dirt too much or trying to show any bias, I just can’t see Robert Kraft facing much more scrutiny for this little episode. He was indeed being a dirty old man but that seems to be that. We’re onto Super Bowl 7.

-Joey B.

The Patriots Appear to Possibly Be Committing a Cardinal Sin of Football and I’m Terrified

So I’m about to nerd out about football pretty hard. If you’ve come for a dose of the rants of a mad man, that is coming much later on in this blog and I’m not sure you’ll make it. Some of this, or most of it, is going to get pretty dry. So you’ve been warned.

Free agency, or at least the most major moves, have come and gone, probably. As expected, the Pats made a couple small quiet moves that will help incrementally (Blogger’s Note: Mike Pennel is a bigger get than it seems. He is a hugely talented player who just can’t stay off the pot. Was a surprise cut by the Jets). They also, just as predictably, let a number of key contributors from last year walk (Trey Flowers, Malcolm Brown) or keep walking (Chris Hogan, Danny Shelton) as the Pats weren’t or aren’t willing to pay them what they saw or see as their worth. Such is life for a Pats fan, watching players come and go that to an untrained eye (SEE: rest of the NFL fanbases) seem indispensable or at least good enough to retain. But we make do with what we have, playing as a team.

On a semi-related note I’ll tie in later, the Patriots made the peculiar move of bringing in notable “defensive mind” Greg Schiano to be a member of the staff this season. Red wrote about why this is kind of odd earlier this year. Most notable is the fact that no one really likes Greg Schiano. He’s what you may refer to as an ass hat. He also hasn’t been terribly successful ever since he used his bringing the Rutgers program out of the basement in the late-00’s-ish as a launching pad for his pro coaching career. Anyway, a hiring of this kind in general just seems like an odd fit and overkill for the Pats. At this point, why don’t you just allow Belichick and another Flores-esque high ranking assistant to run the defensive side of the ball? I mean there’s a reason I’m not in the New England front office but as an outsider from  a high-level this doesn’t make a ton of sense. Basically, when you have a great defensive mind like Belichick in-house why bring in a guy with so many of his own…ideas?

And this is where I start to get scared. And where things get reallly dry for a second. (Skip if you are a football diehard)

I’ll make it quick and as painless as possible, but basically defenses in football have what one refers to as “schemes”, also known as “base formations”. To dumb it down, if someone who had never seen football before walked onto an NFL (or college, high school, w.e) practice field and a coach wanted to show them what the defense NORMALLY should look like, this is the position he would line them up in. These schemes are predicated upon the front-7, aka the linebackers and defensive lineman.

What kind of scheme you run pretty much defines the shape and look of those players. For instance, since outside linebackers (OLBs) in a 3-4 (3 down lineman, 4 linebackers – one of the more common schemes) basically serve as defensive ends on a significant number of plays, they have a size-range similar to a DE, say 6’2-6’4 and 250-265lbs. On the other hand, since the pass rush is covered by the DEs in a 4-3 (4 down lineman, 3 linebackers – the other more common scheme) the outside linebackers are a bit smaller and are used for chasing down ball carriers, making tackles, and covering tight ends and sometimes running backs. They go, say 6’0-6’3 and 230-240lbs (some teams recently, in this pass-happy NFL, have been experimenting with converting college safeties, like Mark Barron (6’1 214lbs), into linebackers with varying degrees of success. There’s just not as much need for the size anymore as there is not as much power running).

We used a mess of defenses last year, but mostly some sort of 4-2 alignment. This is basically the same concept as the 4-3 except since the league is passing so much, we skewed the third linebacker in exchange for an additional defensive back to cover someone. Sometimes this was Duron Harmon. Sometimes Jonathan Jones. Sometimes even J.C Jackson. The bottom line, and what I’m trying to get at now, is that there was always someone there to step up. Someone to slot in easily, although not always successfully. And you know what? Throw all the fucking stats you want at me (NEEEEERDS) but we won a Super Bowl while holding one of the most prolific offenses ever to 3 points. So I’d say our D was just fine.

This is what I’ve been leading up to. This is why I’m worried.

One of the CARDINAL sins of football is to try and change your roster/scheme to fit your coach, not the other way around. More accurately, you should never allow a new coach to twist and tweak your roster to fit his purposes. If you have the pieces, consistency, and hell, success in place then keep it. Tell any new coach that this is what he has to work with. To that end, maybe that is why the Pats have been so successful the last couple of decades. Ultimate flexibility. I remember when Belichick started bringing in 4-3 type players when he was known as a 3-4 coach people lost their goddam minds. “But but but he doesn’t fit!” Well ya dummy Coach just switched the defense up, no biggie. Sure he probably prefers the3-4, but he’s not married to it. The conclusion/thesis is a mixture of “if it’s not broke don’t fix it” and “work with the scraps you were given.” (2pac).

Belichick one in a million though. Especially when it comes to coaching philosophy.

Greg Schiano, and no I did not do research for this blog, I read up on this when we signed him, loves his defense. Fucking loves it. He runs a weird one, almost a 3-4 masquerading as a 4-3. I say this because his line is basically three DTs and one DE, much like how a 3-4 uses three jumbo lineman, in different proportions.

So were we ever giving Trey Flowers all the money he got? Nope, sure weren’t. Were we going to hold hostages to get Malcolm Brown back? Probably not after a down year. But could we suspect there may be reasons for letting two of our primary lineman go beyond cash? I think it’s fair. And that’s terrifying.

Because although it could be debated up and down whether or not Brown ever became “that guy” he was projected to be a truly Belichickian DT – big and stout against the run (6’2 320lb) but still able to put just a little pressure on the QB when needed. A swiss army knife,if you will. Probably 70/30 towards the run. Flowers is really a 50/50 guy (6’2 265lb, plays a lot bigger) – he plays the run really well but also excels in pressuring the QB. Sure he still hasn’t passed 6.5 sacks, but he is ALWAYS in opposing backfields. You know whose system doesn’t really seem to favor swiss army knife DTs? Probably Greg Schiano, as he has three of them and he probably wants them each to do different things. You know whose system probably doesn’t want a 6.5 sack run defender? Again probably Schiano.

So were we really saving money or were we truly cashing out? Is there a reason we re-signed John Simon to rush the passer and Pennel to clog running lanes? Is Belichick really going to let Schiano do the one. Thing. That. Never. Works and reconstruct the look of the Pats D to fit his scheme’s/ego’s needs? Fuck me if that is the case.

I’m all out of steam and out of love. Tell me I’m wrong in the comments or on twitter @300sjoeyb.

-Joey B

A 300s Editorial: A Guy With One Functioning Leg is Making $22 Million Over the Next 9 Months So Can Student Debt Just Be F***** Forgiven Now?

I saw this tweet and it immediately caught my eye. For a few reasons. And my thoughts processed in the following order, which I will elaborate on forthwith:

1.)Earlenstance Thomas IV, Professional Football Safety, has one functioning leg as opposed to the preferred two.
2.)Said Professional Football Safety will now be making $22million over the next nine months as part of a new contract. He’ll earn this with the expectation of him playing pro football, which again usually requires both legs.
3.)$22million, in turn, seems like a bit much. One might use the word extravagant.
4.)I’m usually about as “capitalist” as it comes.
5.)Everyone I know has student debt though ::shrug emoji/symbol combo::
6.)Most of those that aggregate to form that “everyone” is fairly intelligent and works a decent job, that requires really only a limb or two, that pays ok as things go.
6.)There is $1.5 TRILLION of student loan debt in the USA, to be not quite exact. This is despite the fact that most everyone that signed up for it now has a decent job that pays ok, as things go.
7.)Maybe if there are people and organizations who can pay $22million to a guy with one functional leg although he needs both to render services as contracted, our economy is in good enough shape to forgive the mountain of student debt on top of people that get paid a lot less than $22million despite having all required extremities.

That’s it^. That was my exact thought process. That there is no fucking way Earl Thomas’ leg works right now or ever will the same again after what I saw happened to it and yet the Ravens just gave him Will Smith Movie Money over Baby Incubation Time. Meanwhile. the first few years out of school we had to pregame to the point of mild retardation because a full 3-4 hours at the bar meant either you were paying the rent or eating. Motherfuckers were crying for dinner.

Again, I’m normally an “earn it” and a “no one gives it to you”, you have to take it” kinda guy BUT THIS MAKES NO SENSE. HE HAS ONE LEG AND IS BEING PAID TO PLAY IN THE NFL. Can we just this once, just because, let us all go free. In the VERY LEAST we can completely weed out all the cheap ass friends that use their loans as excuses not to do stuff. Sorry Jeremy, but those don’t exist anymore. You’re just a buzzkill.

-Joey B

Conor McGregor Arrested Again

CNN A fan just wanted a picture with Ultimate Fighting Championship star Conor McGregor, but Miami police say McGregor wasn’t having it.

The fan and McGregor were leaving the Fontainebleau Miami Beach hotel Monday morning when the fan tried to take a picture with the fighter with a cell phone, according to a police report. McGregor then slapped the phone out of the fan’s hand and stomped on the phone several times.

Police say McGregor picked up the phone and walked away with it. The fan said the phone was valued at $1,000.

Buh buh buh bullshit. Erroneous. Erroneous on all counts. I cannot imagine this ending with anything more than Conor McGregor paying for the phone and court costs. Maybe, and I mean maybe, a small fine or a small out of court settlement for something like “emotional pain” or something like that.

Look, I know we look up to pro athletes as Demigods but really they’re people. I get why someone would see one of their favorite athletes and entertainers and want to impulsively run up to them and take a picture. But maybe that’s just not totally cool. I mean maybe ask first? Furthermore, Conor McGregor has himself said that he is no “celebrity.” He’s a guy who “smashes orbital bones”. You aren’t running up to an NBA player or the star of “Silving Linings Playbook,” you’re approaching a trained killer. And I’m not absolving Conor McGregor. What he did was wrong and probably a bit overkill. He also has had enough of these little dust ups with overeager fans to know by now he can’t just go strolling through public. Whether or not that’s fair can be debated all day. But he can’t.

For me at least, there is an X factor here. And that is the fact that he’s been seen on vacation in Florida this week with his longtime girlfriend and at least his oldest kid. His youngest could have been with them as well. For me all bets are off if family is involved. If this guy ran up to Conor when his whole family is around, at worst putting them in some kind of danger and at best taking their picture when they just don’t want it taken, sorry bud that’s on you. Again, you just ran up to a breaker of face bones when he is with his young family and they don’t know who you are or what you intend to do with that picture.

Again, I’m not saying McGregor isn’t at fault here. He can’t keep acting this brashly. He has to control his impulses. It’s just irritating at this point he’s turning himself into a Jon-Jones (minus the roids) type of problem where it’s not injury that’s keeping him out of competition but getting into shit.

-Joey B.

Trey Flowers to Reportedly Sign With the Lions and Matt Patricia

Well there you have it folks. Mere minutes after giving Justin “The Island” Coleman $36 million over four years Matt Patricia has landed another former member of his Patriots defense in Trey Flowers.

From the team side of things, Patricia is trying like hell to save his job. He lost the locker room last year, along with a fuckton of games, and he is desperate to get back in the win column not only on the field but with the entire organization. I guess he is hoping surrounding himself with familiar faces may do just that. And of course Trey Flowers as we know is a tremendous player so this is a win.

As for Flowers, well earlier today Malik Jackson got $10 million a year so you knew he was getting more than that. Boy o boy did he get paid. I was wrong about that. On top of that he’ll get to play for a coach he is familiar with and who knows how to utilize his talents in the best ways possible for both the team and, I’m guessing, Trey Flowers. If he stays in Detroit for the length of this deal, he’ll be 31 when it expires. That is plenty young enough for a defensive lineman to sign at least one more decent contract.

So this sucks. We’re losing one of our two best defensive players (I’d say it is/was Flowers and Gilmore). That will happen when you stand out as a swiss army knife stud on a perennial super bowl contender, and winner. Hopefully, the signing of Michael Bennett that Big Z and I have both written about will help cushion the blow. Nothing more we can do now but keep an eye on the draft.

-Joey B

Michael Bennett Close to Joining the Patriots

I love this move. I would have loved it any of the last few off seasons. I feel like Michael Bennett is one of those solid veterans who is always quasi-available. This is also such a “Pats” move a la grabbing Chris Long and James Harrison where a smart, “football guy” pass rusher who wants to win for a solid organization comes aboard and does (hopefully) well.

Truth be told, Bennett is also more than solid. Since 2012, he has notched played in all 16 games and notched 7 sacks or more in every season except for his shortened 2016 campaign with the Seahawks. And now he gets to come to the Pats where he’ll probably just be asked to get after the QB, but can provide some support in the run as well. He’s in his mid-30’s now which is a minor cause for concern but had 9 sacks last year so I think he has plenty of gas left in the tank.

What also can’t be overlooked is the Bennett brothers are kind of just the shit. Just sort of wacky,  affable guys that happen to be talented as hell at football. They’re “list” guys. As in if you were to told to give your top five guys to go to Vegas with, bring on your bachelor party, invade a small country with etc. the Bennett brothers would be sneaky good additions to those lists. To this end also there is now a slight possibility Marty ends up coming out of retirement to give the Pats one more year as well which I would NOT MIND in the slightest.

This also means Trey Flowers is officially gonzo which sucks. But we knew that was happening. And Michael Bennett is a great 1-2 year fix until we find the next man up. As is the Patriot Way.

So with that we have our first official “LET’S FUCKING GO” of the not yet full incubated 2019-2020 (!) season. O boy o boy.

***UPDATE BECAUSE I’M A GENIUS***

-Joey B.

Von Miller to Star in Animated Series About an NFL Expansion Team on Mars

DeadlineOBB Pictures and Denver Broncos all-pro linebacker Von Miller are teaming on a half-hour animated comedy project titled Mars Martians, about the NFL’s first expansion team on Mars. Miller will voice the lead role and serve as an executive producer on the potential series, which is being written by Maxwell Theodore Vivian (The Cool Kids).

“VOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!”

I’ve been yelling that at my TV for just under ten years now, whenever Von Miller lays out a QB or chases one into a bad decision. I don’t really know why I’ve always had an affinity for the bespectacled, pass rushing demon. I think part of it was that he looked that much more dominant and that much faster, even in real-time, than really any player I had watched before. Also part of it was that this was his college career and that he played for the Aggies, who I have always liked as they aren’t what you’d call a perennial National Title contender and had an underdog team back then that you could get behind. My fan-hood got complicated for a few years as we had a brief rivalry with Miller’s Broncos. Yes, in case you didn’t know he now terrorizes those under center to a similar degree of success as he did in college. But then Fuckhead With the Big Forehead retired, the Broncos receded to an extent, and I got to go back to rooting for Von’s personal success from afar.

And now this. What seems to be a pretty big deal (I don’t think Deadline covers bullshit) of an animated series has cast none other than Von Miller, who has shown a flair for acting/commercials in recent years. The show is about the son of an NFL legend, who, while crushed by that pressure and has underachieved to start his career, is sent to play with a gang of misfits on the NFL’s Mars (do you capitalize planets?) expansion team. Sounds sort of like “The Longest Yard” and the “The Replacements”. Either way I’m not a HUGE animation guy but shows like “Archer” and “F Is For Family” have convinced me to give these kinds of things a try.

But lets address the most important part of this endeavor. The part that will really drive the nail home for my and Von Miller’s relationship.

HAHAHAHAHHAHA FUCK YOU LEBRON!

This is fucking RICH. You think you’re going to come back and fill MJ’s shoes in “Kind of Space Jam 2” when an athlete who is THREE THOUSAND times more likable is already starring in a series about playing sports in an intergalactic capacity? Do you think you’re little foray onto the big screen is going to be nearly successful when you have a show like this up and, by the time your stink bomb is being made, there are full-fledged international superstars in your sport like Giannis, Zion, etc. that would be better faces to sell it than you? Think again KING!

Hats off to Von Miller for landing this. It honestly sounds like a cool/possibly funny show. Hats off to whoever came up with it.

My hat stays on for you Mr. James.

-Joey B.

Alex Trebek Reveals He Is Fighting Pancreatic Cancer

NPRAlex Trebek, who has hosted the Jeopardy! game show since 1984, announced Wednesday that he has been diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer.

I feel like I always drop the emotional blogs, for better or for worse. I suppose there is something to be said for being reminded once a week or so how precious life is and what’s important.

Alex Trebek, America’s favorite game show host, revealed yesterday that he is fighting pancreatic cancer. And I’m going to start with the facts so I can grow positive not bleak. Pancreatic cancer is one of the worst kinds in terms of survival rate. A glance at the article above tells me less than 10% of those diagnosed are still around five years later. Also, Trebek is 78. He would seem to be in otherwise fighting form and certainly does not appear “frail,” but you figure you have to account for that. So take all that as you will.

His announcement, made in a short video on the Jeopardy set, was particularly jarring. The usually all-business Trebek’s voice quivered a couple of times. He was emotional and with the risk of possibly looking too hard, he looked scared. Which is 100000% to be expected and even respected when facing such a fight as his.

Trebek’s message though was run-through-a-wall inspiring. He pretty much said “fuck prognoses I’m going to win.” The always elegantly dressed, put together, and professional host was downright curt and defiant in his declaration of war over a worthy adversary. It definitely gave a lot of hope.

So here’s hoping that Alex Trebek and what is surely a team of doctors find a way to beat this thing. We’ve already been promised he’ll fight. He even joked that he kind of has to stick around because he has three years left on his contract. Maybe it will help a little that he has every living room in America fighting alongside him.

I’ll take “Fuck Cancer” for eleventy billion, Alex.

 

 

Coming Out of the Combine, Joey B and Mattes Discuss the 2019 NFL Draft

Blogger’s Note: The 2019 NFL Draft Combine ended earlier this week after a grueling four days where players were made to wear spandex while running, lifting, jumping, being asked if they had both nuts, and doing positional drills. Now we’ve been given the yearly transparency into how these players stack up side by side, from a raw athleticism point of view.With that in mind I kicked off a little electronic mail with Mattes, my fellow draft nerd, about this year’s class and what it could mean for the Pats.

Joey B:

Hey Mattes,

So the combine is all over and apart from the Pro days the stage is set for the draft. What are your thoughts coming out of the “underwear olympics” and of this draft class?

Mattes:

I’mma let Maverick sum this one up for me: