Author Archives

Unknown's avatar

Joey Ballgame

I'd like to take this chance to apologize to absolutely nobody.

Views from the 617.

Primarily MMA and pop culture takes from down in the rabbit hole. Sports straight out of left field.

Blog Favorite Comedian Daniel Sloss is Doing a Live “Day Drink With Dan” This Saturday and It’s Exactly What It Sounds Like

By on • ( 1 Comment )

Well now, this is something fit for quarantine. Just perfect. Normally blog worthy? Well actually yes. Anytime a guy of Sloss’ ilk decides to publicly announce he is not only supporting but actively participating in and organizing an event centered around day drinking, that is what we call the “wheelhouse.” So quarantine or not this would be just wonderful.

I’ve written about our Scottish comrade-in-booze Daniel Sloss here before. His first two specials popped up on Netflix out of nowhere and knocked my fuckin socks off. Honestly up there with anything else stand up-wise on Netflix or beyond. His newest special “X” is on HBO and also exceptional but not everyone has HBO so didn’t think it’d be as worth noting.

What is he like? Well, onstage he is high-energy, befriends you in a tell-you-to-go-fuck-yourself sort of way, and isn’t afraid to touch on tough subjects not meant for laughs. In “X” he describes his show as (something like I’m paraphrasing) “50 minutes stand up and 10 minutes Ted Talk”. But it’s brilliant. Offstage (from what I’ve seen in podcasts) he relaxes a bit more but is just as hilarious and is normally hammering beers and talking shit about other people, himself, and his country.

Needless to say I’m stoked for this. Day drinking is one of quarantine’s few simple pleasures. What once you were made to feel guilty about and shamed by society for is basically now encouraged. And now you have a funny-accented dickhead of a drinking buddy to keep you amused through it. So head on over to Sloss’ IG this Saturday at 3:00pm EST and have some fun.

PS – Also check out FOTB Pat Dowling (@patdowlingmusic) on IG every Friday at 6:30pm EST. Kid crushes the tunes.

QUARANTINE BLOG: Let’s Check In On My 300s Brothers In Ink Under QUARANTIIIIINE

By on • ( 1 Comment )

It’s week 4 of quarantine. I think. Maybe. Time is sort of relative at this point, no? I know I’ve personally been unable to enter any business that isn’t a grocery store or liquor store in now going on four weeks so that’s how I’m gauging it.

If you scroll through social media or the internet in general you’ll see people clinging to varying degrees of sanity. A lot of folks are blaming this on lack of social interaction or inability to go outside their homes in general as free as they once could. That is probably it, to a large extent. However I don’t think you can rule out the pure and simple fact that we as a society by and large don’t know how to live without a destination/obligations. We simply cease to know how to exist when we have nowhere to be. Just my two cents.

Anyway I reached out to my brethren in blogs and asked them how they were holding up, and got a variety of responses. With that said, enjoy, empathize, and commiserate below.

Red: It’s Week 4 (Week 5?) of the new norm that is social distancing and quarantine SZN. Some are taking it more seriously than others, but as someone who refused to touch the railings on the T before all this, I am taking it quite seriously. Didn’t even bother with a flimsy mask either, straight up ordered a balaclava, which I’m pretty sure you’d only know what that is if you played massive amounts of first person shooters growing up or were in the Spetsnaz. The quarantine is taking its toll though as my office chair officially called it a career and took its own inanimate life last week. So now I’m working from the couch for 8-16 hours a day as the health of my spine is in a race against the clock with Amazon Prime to deliver my new office chair before I develop spinal stenosis. This is fun.

Dom: (Blogger’s Note: Fuck Dom). My quarantine is different in the sense that I’m in Israel and have a balcony that overlooks the Mediterranean. It’s dope, I’m not gonna lie. But that balcony is also the only thing keeping my sanity intact. You can only spend so many hours doing puzzles and listening to audiobooks. I’ve been playing a good amount of The Show with my star 3rd basemen Rusty Weiner and lefty ace Rube Waddell. Oh yeah, I have a mustache now.

Big Z: Last week was bulky waste pick up day in my town. The show must go on, right? It was the most exciting event at my house in weeks. I call it the purge. I threw away a ton of shit, some even left behind by the previous owner of my house. Even better, I got rid of a busted TV. (Don’t buy Westinghouse TVs, friends.) Now, my town was not picking up TVs that day. I lucked out when some young men found this TV in the box, with the stand and remote control included, and took it off my hands. I wonder how disappointed they were when they got it home and realized that it had no picture.

Papa G: I’ve been writing lots of music (varying degrees of quality), reading James Bond novels, busted out Rosetta Stone for about an hour and brushed up on my Spanish 101. A few naps. Lots of anxiety.

Lippa: Pros: Sleeping in, exercising more saving money, started binging this little known show called “The Sopranos” Attempting to prove to my bosses that working from home CAN be effective. Remember these things called jeans? My wardrobe is just a mix of sweatpants and mesh shorts depending on the temperature

Cons: Would love to watch a sports game, I don’t already know the outcome to. We’d be in the middle of the first round of the Stanley Cup playoffs today (but who’s keeping track) You can only go on so many walks in a day.  Remember bars? I think I’m approaching the end screen of Netflix.

Joey B: I like Red suffered a casualty of war this week as one of my pair of slippers, an integral part of my at-home life, was lost in battle. Up to that point I considered this whole viral episode to be my Shackleton’s Expedition – as long as we (myself and all my possessions) all made it out alive I’d declare it a victory. I think Shackleton and his men survived like, a year and a half living on the Antarctic sea. My slippers made it under four weeks. Other than that I am keeping my wits through a cornucopia of TV, a lack of haircuts, booze, video chats featuring said booze, and Uber Eats. We’ll get through this together.

QUARANTINE BLOG: The Short, Definitive List of Male Interests That Were Never Intended to Get Them Laid

By on • ( Leave a comment )

So I’m sure the blog title comes as exactly zero surprise. Although I’m not sure how much it is discussed, it is well known that there are very few hobbies and interests that straight, white males pursue where the goal is not to “get them drawers.” It is just a simple fact of life that right around 3rd or 4th grade we abandon interest in things just because we find them entertaining or fulfilling and instead take up whatever is going to get us in the best graces of the fairer sex.

HOWEVER. There always remains a few things that a man just cannot leave behind, or picks up along the way, that in no way, shape, or form, is going to get them laid. Why we make these exceptions we don’t know, nor do we exactly notice. They just are/become part of our existence without any question as to why and life goes on – much to either the indifference or dismay of the ladies we pursue.

So without further ado, I, on behalf The 300s dot com, present you with the list of those things, past and present.

6.) Golf

Like a lot of post-college men stumbling through adulthood, a number of us here at The 300s have decided to become avid horrible golfers. Papa G bombs the ball with nary a clue of where it’s going. Red’s game is so cold he always wears pants. Me? Well I’ve never gotten within 100 yards of a green I could hit. But the ladies? Well actually they hate it. Why wouldn’t they? Their guys (or prospects) disappear for five hours on a weekend morning and come back not only shitfaced, but happy. I mean the audacity to be in good spirits after five hours away from them. But we know why we do it right, fellas? I mean whats not to love about playing a long, slow, impossible game that costs a shitload to participate in? Ya, I don’t know either.

5.) Quantity of Alcohol/Substances Consumed

Man I guess this is an inadvisable one in hindsight huh? But I am man of integrity so I must not exclude it. Because there was a time, friends, where we would boast o so braggadociously of the 10 beers (of Natty), 4 shots (of Sailor Jerry), and 5 blunt hits (of middiest mids) one ingested the night before. Did you puke and pee somewhere you shouldn’t have like in the hallway, a closet, or on your roommate? Sure you did. But legends never fucking die do they? What does die, on the contrary, are your chances with Jennifer, the cute girl from Art Survey that you invited to the party only to have her arrive and find you leglessly hitting on the fridge.

4.) Home Entertainment/Audio/Electronic Setups

I remember walking into one of my buddy’s rooms in college to find that he had a high-end Alienware laptop, three monitors, huge speakers, and like, a subwoofer. For what fucking reason pray-tell? I didn’t know. Neither did he. He was a D-student Phys Ed major who didn’t know much. Maybe God spoke to him and said it was written for him to shake the entire fucking hallway with whatever mixtape he had recently ripped off the internet. No matter which way you shake it though no girl was walking into that room and realizing with erotic elation she could bleed out through her eardrums playing “Umbrella” on full blast.

3.) Beirut Skills

There was no bigger dick-measuring contest in high school or college than determining who was the best ‘rut player. Thinking back on it I can almost hear a National Geographic narrator describing how pack power rankings were decided on Friday night, regardless of who was cooler when walking into the house, by who won the Beirut tournament. Know who didn’t give a fuck? The girls that were there. They played too, and giggled a whole bunch, and sometimes cried, and sometimes hugged dudes that were crying, and generally got hit on a whole lot. What they didn’t do was go total Niagara Falls for the guy who called “solo” last.

2.) Random Athletics Prowess

Yes, athletes get all kinds of poontang. By that I do mean players of the four major sports. However, that never stopped a group of guys from determining who was the best contestant in street/pond hockey, wiffle ball, horse or any other of the trillion ludicrous excuses for “sports” we’ve come up with over the years. Did chicks care? Fuck no. As a matter of fact we probably were only playing because they weren’t around at the time. Didn’t matter. I’d die before I let you hit my 12-6 sinker that dropped like Amy Schumer’s popularity after fourteen and a half minutes.

1.) Power Hour Playlists

BOOM. I’d be lying through my teeth if I didn’t say this relic of my past wasn’t the reason I came up with this list in the first place. I was talking to a buddy about doing a power hour over Google video as a fun quarantine activity. His response? He could never figure out how to get the music to work. It took me a solid 30 seconds to figure out what the fuck he was even talking about. Then it dawned on me he was worried sick he didn’t have the requisite time or resources to get the hallowed playlist together before doing the power hour. It was indeed considered an art form back in the day. The song selection itself was a delicate thread to weave, but getting them in the perfect order? Now that is where the true artistry was found. You know who was never impressed? Or even fucking noticed beyond a “hey, I like this song”? The girls. And I don’t blame them. Because they didn’t like doing fucking power hours like idiots like we did.

And thus concludes the list. That’s it. Maybe I’ll think of more/a part two later on in quarantine. Or maybe if it lasts long enough we’ll come up with new ones.

-Joey B.

The NBA Just Suspended the Season Due to the Coronavirus

By on • ( Leave a comment )

ESPN – The NBA announced that it has suspended its season until further notice after the completion of Wednesday night’s games after a member of the Utah Jazz has preliminarily tested positive for the coronavirus.

Well this is something. The most prosperous league in all of professional sports has literally stopped the season in its tracks due to coronavirus. The brutal irony is that the player that tested positive might be Rudy Gobert, who mockingly touched every microphone available when being interviewed over the last couple of days. Christ.

This is such an unprecedented occurrence it has me asking myself if I’m actually for once under-reacting. These health scare-type situations are, believe it or not, one of those things I don’t really ever get worked up about. Very much a “won’t happen to me” guy. But holy shit. If even the money grubbers at the head of the NBA are saying “maybe we could stand to lose a few million and not risk our players lives, not jk’ng” then maybe this is for real.

Now, keep in mind, the fatality rate for a fit, young person is still low. We (I’m assuming we) can beat this thing much like we’re more apt to beat the flu. But fuck me the fact that I’m even talking “probably” beating a pandemic disease is crazy.

This is definitely now going to go down as one of the wildest sports stories ever, even if it ends up being a “one time, a hundred years ago” type of tale. It’s definitely the front runner for the 2000-2099 century so far.

Wash your hands and stay safe.

-Joey B.

Local Rant: Boston Taxi Industry

By on • ( Leave a comment )

This blog is in response to this headline. Not the story because I didn’t read it and don’t care. Just the headline. That’s it. That’s my intro.

Befuckinleave it or not, your pal Joey B is actually a college graduate. That’s right, got a diploma and everything. Sits in a drawer in my bedroom right next to my passport, a couple of ties, and an empty pack of Trojans that I leave there so I can do the old “::shrug::, looks like I’m all out.” What did I study? Economics.

Now when you take your first econ course, be it in high school or college, the first thing the teacher/professor will tell you is that economics has nothing to do with money. This is a hipster douchebag thing to say because really yes it fucking does. Economics nowadays focuses on how much money is being tossed around and for what. But if I’m not being a dick then yes, they’re right when all is said and done because currency in and of itself is a fairly modern invention and before we had it, and even after, we used concepts like the barter system to acquire goods and services.

The easiest way to define economics is: the study of what people want and need – and inversely can supply – and what we are willing to do/part with in order to get it, layered on top of the behaviors that come about from the levels of those wants and needs. Basically, what do we want, is it available and if so how much of it, what are we willing to do to get it, and how do any of those variables change when one of the other ones do. Think of a hoodie but with a billion strings, if you pull one what happens to the rest?

The economy, especially when it came to new vs. old products, was easier to study when we were just talking about round stones, then wheels, then pelts. But as more and more shit has been invented and technology has boomed, truly new ideas have become less and less a thing. So how do you make a new business/product? You “disrupt” a current market. Basically, you look at the way things have been done in a certain market for ages (going back to econ 101: what have people always wanted from that market and what have they done to get it) and figured out a way to do it a little better – whether that is providing it in a way that is easier for the consumer, cheaper etc. Think cell phones to landlines, AirBnB to hotels, and yes, rideshares to taxis.

People act like rideshares came out of the clouds because they are cheaper than taxis, which is usually but not always true. But for me personally it comes down mostly to one thing:

Boston taxi drivers are raging assholes.

Taxis are unreliable, considering I live equidistant between two bars that are PACKED on the weekends and down the street from a busy brewery and never see one ready to offer rides. Taxis are indeed usually more expensive, especially if, you know, you’re trying to go to or come from somewhere where one usually needs something like, I don’t know, a fucking taxi (airport, etc.). But most of all, taxi drivers are. Fucking. Assholes.

There’s no need to sternly demand cash (I also think it’s either not legal or against their protocol). There’s no need to be rude and seem so pissed off. There’s no need to yell at me that there’s traffic. I too don’t like traffic. I also did not cause said traffic. Did I know there was traffic? Why yes I did. However seeing as I don’t own a magical broom like Harry fucking Potter and also didn’t feel like using public transportation, I decided to employ your services as a TAXI DRIVER to get me to my destination. I am also paying you. Because it’s your job.

You know who drives people around but isn’t a little bitch about it? Uber and Lyft drivers. You know who doesn’t blame you for every bad turn their life has ever taken? Uber and Lyft drivers. Sure, they might talk too much sometimes, have bad taste in music on occasion, or have no logical sense of temperature, but at least they aren’t the single most curmudgeoned fucking person on the planet at that very moment. Taxi drivers are.

So that is why your industry is dying. That is why you’re on your knees, fellating lawmakers to save you. Because you’re an asshole. Because we found a market alternative to the unbearable notion that the person driving us hated our guts.

You did this to yourself.

The 10 Greatest “Bench Player” Characters In (More Recent) TV History

By on • ( Leave a comment )

Real quick: I try and make these as spoiler-proof as possible but I’m only human. If you recognize a show you’re still watching I’d skip ahead or stop reading.

This is a blog I’ve had in my back pocket for forever. Every show has either a main character or a group of main characters that carry it. We all know that. Hell, that is the way stories work in general, be it a book, TV, movie, porno, epic poem, play, etc….However, in particular with television, a show often lives and dies by its #2 characters, its “bench players” as I have called them here.

The tricky part in making this list is deciphering where the line is between a main character and a true #2. For example you’ll see later on that Carmella Soprano is not on this list. Why? Well I’d consider her too involved in the show and too central to many plot-lines to be a #2. If Tony’s wife had been a different kind of person the show could have been drastically different or lacking. With that said, let’s define a #2 character/bench player as a character who, while the show and plot could have easily moved forward either without them or by substituting any number of other characters for them, was executed so excellently they pushed the show beyond what it already was. Here goes.

**As always with these, please don’t consider this in any particular order.**

10.) The Hound, Game of Thrones

In The 300s group chat the argument for best #2 in the realm came down to our two favorite sell swords, The Hound and Bronn, later Ser Bronn of the Blackwater. I was eventually outvoted for the Hound and have exactly zero qualms about that. The gigantic mercenary with about 1/10 of a normal conscious that he used at exactly the right times was a source of incredible battles, nihilistic monologues, and pithy one-liners that always threatened to steal the show.

9.) Mike Ehrmantraut, Breaking Bad 

Lippa: Mike may look like (and is) a grandfather, but he is one of the most no-nonsense characters in the history of television. He doesn’t take shit from anyone and doesn’t have time for anyone’s bullshit. His disdain for everything Walter White represents and his biting sense of sarcasm makes him an elite secondary character.

8.) Wags, Billions

A lot of folks, including a couple of my colleagues, probably want me executed right about now because they consider Wags more of a main character. However if we stick with a #2 as defined, the show could move forward without Wags without losing momentum. It would not have been as funny as it is at times, but it’s also not a comedy in and of itself. That said, “Uncle” Wags’ Ari Gold-like unbridled macho energy and profanity laden, analogy-based monologues regarding everything from profit to sushi make him a legendary bench player.

7. Kevin and Veronica, Shameless

I think it’s fair to include “Kev” and “V” as a unit as that is how they’ve always existed on the show. One a white trash, golden retriever of a meathead armed with tank tops and below average intelligence. His better half a street-smart, maternal, tough loving black girl who always knows what to do in a pinch. They (hilariously) serve as the Gallagher’s next door neighbors, confidantes, security blankets, and closest advisers all while dealing with their own shit. Regardless, whether they are living in the highest of highs or lowest of lows, they have always been the most consistent relationship on the show. True love indeed.

6.) Paulie “Walnuts” Gaultieri, The Sopranos

Paulie Walnuts might be the quintessential bench player. There were a slew of mostly faceless capos and soldiers in Tony’s circle. They were brought into the thick of the plot if and when necessary but for the most part they were interchangeable. Paulie stood out though. Despite being a true wiseguy and a tough customer, Paulie would wax poetic on just about anything, regardless of how much sense it made. He often provided the levity needed to make such a psychologically taxing show work.

5.) Max Piotrowski, Homeland

I feel like there is a Max Piotrowski in all of us. By that I don’t mean we are all wizard-like when it comes to every facet of technology, particularly that related to intelligence. What I mean is I feel like we’ve always been in a job or a role or place in life where we’ve felt that we’ve done a fantastic job and/or put in incredible amounts of effort and never really were given the credit we deserved. Max has always been that guy for Carrie Mathieson and the rest of the CIA team. On top of all that, he really fucking cares about what happens. A lot. So maybe that’s the part about Max we should focus on. Not just that he does what he does, but that he does it at 100% and out of shear loyalty.

4.) Tony Almeida, 24

If I’m being honest, re-watching 24 and being transfixed with Almeida’s intensity is what made me want to come up with this list. He was Jack Bauer’s adviser and enabler. He would do what Jack needed him to do even when filled to the brim with apprehension and completely unsure of what the result might be. Sure, they butted heads sometimes, but only when Almeida thought things were completely out of hand. He was a true Patriot and shared the blind loyalty trait with Max.

3.) Omar Little, The Wire

I know, I know, but hear me out.

Despite Omar being one of the greatest TV characters point blank period – I’d rank Tony Soprano above him and maybe no one else – where he was positioned in the show was as a #2 character. In season 1 for instance, any snitch could have been used by McNulty and company to put a case on Bird. It could have been another conjured crew that goes to war with the Barksdale organization and tangled with Marlo, couldn’t it? But the show wouldn’t have been half as awesome as it was and that is what makes Omar Omar.

Come for the king, you best not miss.

2.) Opie, Sons of Anarchy

This is another one where I’m towing the line dangerously close to “main character” status. Opie played a significant part on this show throughout his run. But in the end, there were countless SAMCRO members, named and unnamed, that could have shouldered his load in some capacity. Only he did it his own brooding, imposing way.

“This is what she felt.”

1.) Mr. George Feeny, Boy Meets World

It’s interesting that both Boy Meets World and Home Improvement were on during the same time period and both employed the use of a sage next door neighbor. However, Feeny, in my respectful opinion, is the far superior character as he is immersed in the lives of those he is dispensing advice to while Home Improvement’s Wilson comes in with almost deus ex machina-esque wisdom to save Tim Taylor’s ass when all hope is lost. Indeed the kids, and sometimes adults, of Boy Meets World could have gone to anybody when they were in a pickle. But it was always the grandparent-like Mr. Feeny who guided them on their journey through life, love, stress, and setbacks (shout out Atmosphere).

2020 NFL Combine Diary Part I: Joe Burrow’s Hands

By on • ( Leave a comment )

The annual NFL Combine kicks off this week. For those completely oblivious and yet still reading this very much niche blog, the combine is a post-season but pre-draft event where most draftable players vying for a spot in the NFL are measured, weighed, timed, and put through every speed test imaginable in an effort to quantify their legitimacy as an NFL prospect.  There are many arguments in terms of how much weight to put on combine performance. I personally think it should be viewed on a macro level i.e “that guy is 6’5 and ran a 4.8 as a WR, so he’s way too fucking slow but was huge for the college game” as opposed to nitpicking details on a micro level. For the most part that seems to net out. Choose for yourself.

As of Monday night QBs, WRs, and TEs had their height measured and they had weighed in, which makes sense as every physical for a job that requires a physical generally takes such measurements into account. The peculiarity of the NFL Combine’s first assessment of their players, however, lies in the additional measurement that is taken: hand size. Every player’s hand is measured, from pinkie tip, across the palm, to thumb tip, to get a sense of the true size of their paw. So I guess the question you may be asking, or possibly, having figured out the question, pondering the validity of the inquiry itself, is: why does it fucking matter?

I’m going to focus on offense as this is more an offensive-minded measurement, at least from what I’ve gathered over the years. All in all it has to do with ball security.

For WRs and anyone else who may be asked to catch the football, the bigger your hands the easier you are theoretically able to secure the ball. This makes sense, doesn’t it? Particularly in some of the harsher conditions an NFL player might play in, having dinner plate-esque mitts you can envelop the ball in certainly seems to be an advantage.

For QBs, it is a little different and a little harder to decipher just how much hand size matters. QBs have, in theory, two reasons to worry about hand-size. One is the aforementioned weather. The bigger the hand, the more control over the football and the easier you’re able to sling it in rain, wind, and snow. Ok, maybe? I guess? I mean if your hand is big enough to grip and control a football, it’s big enough, right?

The second reason makes sense until it kind of doesn’t. This is where teams are concerned that if your hand is too small, the easier it will be to strip the ball or otherwise dislodge it when the QB has it, whether that causes a fumble, a pop up INT, or a regular incomplete pass. Again, the bigger the hand, the more control over the ball they assert overall, right? I can honestly say I think this all goes back to Daunte Culpepper. He was singled out as fumble-prone and as also having abnormally small hands for a guy his size. So that had to be it right? Welllll Culpepper is also the 52nd most sacked QB of all time, having been dropped for a loss 298 times over 10 seasons*. To put that in perspective, Rich Gannon who ranks one spot above Culpepper at 51st, was dropped 4 more times, having been sacked 302 times, but over a much lengthier 17 seasons. Basically, Culpepper wasn’t the most aware QB of all time, if we are going to use Madden terminology. And with the level today’s pass rushers are playing at, if you don’t know whats coming and they get a clear shot, that ball is coming loose.

So this brings us to Joe Burrow, the record-setting LSU QB coming off a Heisman Trophy and National Title win and who is arguably the best QB prospect in this draft. His hand size, at 6’3 221 lbs, was measured at 9″. Not small for an average human, but third smallest of the 17 QBs measured. For comparison, fellow top QB prospects Justin Hebert (6’6 236 lbs) and Tua Tagavailoa (6′ 217 lbs) both had 10″ hands and last years top pick and QB prospect, Kyler Murray (5’10 207 lbs) came in with 9 1/2″ hands. So needless to say eyebrows were raised and questions were asked, in both whispers and shouts, regarding Burrow’s hands.

Joseph Lee Burrow, of the The Plains, Ohio, was having none of it.

He immediately dropped this A-bomb of a tweet:

This is an incredible tweet because it says so much with so few words. He is absolutely ethering the very much capital-J NFL media and attempting to discredit the fact that they have a fucking clue how to judge a QB prospect. He’s saying  “I’m going number 1 or 2 (Ohio State DE Chase Young being the variable) no matter how many articles you write and there ain’t shit you can do about it”. He’s showing the kind of moxie you’d want from a QB1. Like a humorous, not child-laden Philip Rivers, if you will.

The other unintended consequence of that tweet is that people are now talking about Burrow’s response more than the measurement itself, which might make sense. He showed all through high school and college he can toss the rock. The NFL ball is only slightly difference in size. Get over it.

I’ll check back in after some more folks are weighed-in, measured, and timed. Hopefully there will be some drama so I have something to write about.

-Joey B.

*Counting from when he was drafted, Culepper appeared in 11 seasons but did not record stats in his rookie season, 1999.

Binge Prospectus – Q1 2020

By on • ( Leave a comment )

So I’m going to purposely eschew writing a gigantic intro here because I think the blog itself is going to be long enough already. But a few notes:

  • Any titles in Bold I’m giving a must watch label.
  • Just listing movies with no description because this is more about shows and docs.
  • I’m putting all documentaries at the bottom so if you are into non-fiction go there.
  • The timeline might not always add up here. As in, it’s Q1 2020 and I might go all the way back to some times 2019 if I don’t think the show/movie has been addressed on the blog before. Or if a reminder might be warranted.
  • On that note ” ** ” denotes that this is not the first season of a show or that I feel the need to address it possibly out of left field.
  • You’re about to read about a lot of British shit. I know, I’m kind of an anglophile when it comes to T.V. But that doesn’t change the fact that Netflix, Hulu, and the Premiums have dumped a ton of money into UK #content that is often very good.
  • Not all of these are “full” reviews. By this I mean not all of the shows, in particular, that I am going to discuss have been finished by myself or another member of the staff. We however, out of the goodness of our hearts, at least started them in order to offer our take. Your welcome.

Let’s do it.

Streaming
Netflix

“The Witcher” (Series, US)
Red and one of our other buddies have watched this and recommended it. I started and was a bit lost but I’ve been told that could totally be an issue if you haven’t played the game or read the book(s) to some extent. Either way, I think it a good option for anyone who is on the “willing to ‘s’ a ‘d'” end of the spectrum in terms of GOT/fantasy show withdrawals.

“Messiah” (Series, US)
Think “Homeland” meets well, the second coming of Christ. In this kind of bizarre show a CIA agent (Michelle Monaghan) tracks a man from the Middle East who might have some serious terrorism connections but also might be God. It gets almost campy at times but is a good overall watch

“The Society” (Series, US)
An interesting application of Lord of the Flies or possibly more accurate, the Stanford Prison Experiment, theory. A group of High Schoolers get brought home from a field trip before they ever get there to find their town abandoned. They basically have to form their own new “society” (nudge) complete with their own system of government that absolutely has no teenage dramage involved whatsoever. Guilty Pleasure score of 1000000.

“The End of the F***** World” (Series, UK) **Season 2
Season 2 catches us up with James (maybe?) and Alyssa. It is a just as enjoyable, albeit not as fresh, serving of this dry, bleak, British dark comedy about two depressed teenagers.

“The Stranger” (Limited Series, UK)
I think I’ve talked about Harlan Coben’s partnering with Netflix before but I’ll provide some context anyway. Or skip to paragraph two now. Basically, Harlan Coben is an award winning novelist of what is described as “domestic thrillers”. What this means is that unlike a lot of thriller novels, his characters are not, necessarily, cops or private eyes or political figures, etc., trying to catch a bad guy. They could be, for instance, doctors or businessman whose wives/daughters have disappeared, etc.

This is the third time out for Coben and Netflix and again they’ve nailed it. While I would say it is the third best behind the “The Five” and “Safe”, that also just isn’t fair considering how good the first two were. In this offering, A family man is approached by a mysterious “stranger” (nudge) with a cryptic message regarding his wife. Then everything kind of goes to hell.

“Sex Education” (Series, UK) **Season 2
To be perfectly honest I don’t totally remember what happened at the end of S1 except that the whole thing was a really good, very funny at times story about a teenager that takes a page out of his shrink mother’s book and starts making cash giving his classmates sex advice. S2 deals with a lot of the same things as S1 did.

“The OA” (Series, US)**Season 2
The second, and sadly now last, season of this head-fuck of a show takes you on another journey of questioning the meaning of life, death, consciousness, and memory. Absolutely sucks they cancelled it.

Movies

  • “Shotcaller”
  • “The Captive”
  • “Blue Valentine”
  • “In the Shadow of the Moon”

Hulu

“Killing Eve” (Series, UK)**Season 2
Another killer season of the drama based around a American working an admin job for British intelligence (Sandra Oh) who becomes obsessed with catching a psychotic but bemused assassin (Jodie Comer) who develops an affinity for her as well.

“Letterkenny” (Series, Canada)**Lots of seasons
The best way I’ve been able to describe “Letterkenny” is a cross between “Napoleon Dynamite” and “Trailer Park Boys” with a touch of “Rain Man”. Take that for what it’s worth but prepare to laugh your ass off while watching this one about a smarter-than-they-look group of farming friends and the small, cliquey, Canadian town they inhabit

“Top of the Lake”** (Series, Australia/UK)
This is a “late to the party” suggestion as this UK/Australian venture had two seasons released in 2013 and 2017 but is still catching on here in the States. The show follows a police detective (Elisabeth Moss, who won an Emmy for her performance) as she solves a twist-heavy mystery per-season all while keeping her past compartmentalized.

“High Fidelity” (Series, US)
The John Cusack-starring-movie-based-on-the-book-of-the-same-name is adapted now into a show. This time our lead is Zoe Kravitz as Robyn “Rob” Brooks, a record store owner decimated by her last break up and hoping to find out where things went wrong in a semi-“How I Met Your Mother”/”Lovesick” style. The quirky humor and character’s penchant for breaking the fourth wall make this as intoxicating as the whiskey (neat) they drink.

“Four Weddings and a Funeral” (Limited Series, UK)
I’ve never seen the movie this is adapted from but this one-season-only tale of a group of late-20 somethings has just enough of post-college “what the fuck am I doing?”-ness to make it another must watch. Sure it’s mostly a romcom but it’s a cheesy good watch.

“The Accident” (Limited Series, UK)
I’ll admit I’m only one “part” into this four part series from Britain’s Channel 4 (from what I understand they have the BBC and Channel 4 and that’s it?). With that said. It’s insanely gripping. On one hand you have a local tragedy. On another you have a corporate/industrial fuck up of epic proportions that has some degree of cover up forthcoming. And in the middle you have all the emotions pooling together.

Movies

  • “The Party’s Just Beginning”
  • “Drinking Buddies”

PS – PSSSSSSSSSSSSSTT “The O.C” is on Hulu

Amazon
Blogger’s Note: I collected a couple recs for Amazon but don’t have it so this is going to be brief.

“Jack Ryan” (Series, US)**Season 2
If you don’t know who Jack Ryan is he basically is the American answer to James Bond but from humbler beginnings. This show I’m told kicks ass.

“The Boys” (Series, US)
This show is getting a ton of pop right now. It’s a superhero show where the good guys fight back against the bad guys and both sides are superheroes? I’m not too sure from there but I have friends who aren’t even into that shit and love it.

“The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel” (Series, US)** Season 4?
This one was a hit from the jump. In the wake of her marriage crumbling a woman tries stand up and fucking crushes.

The Premiums

“His Dark Materials” (Series, HBO)
If there were two words in the English language I would grade as impossible to define without a 45 minute thesis defense, it would be 1.) irony and 2.) steam punk. But I’m pretty sure HDM is kind of steam punk, or sort of 19th/18th centurish with insertions of modern to futuristic technology? Right? Fuck man idk but there’s some magic in there too and James McAvoy is dreamy.

“The Dublin Murders” (Limited Series, Starz)
This UK offering was alllllllmost what I needed it to be which was a crime/mystery in the vain of the Coben series’ and “The Missing”. Instead it is sort of like “The Night Of” where instead of fully investing itself in being a whodunit, it examines exactly what the people involved in a whodunit truly go through. While TNO looked at this from the suspects’ POV, TBM looks at it from the victims’ and their families’.

“Chernobyl” (Limited Series, HBO)
A look at what really (possibly?) went on behind the scenes of the infamous nuclear disaster.

Documentaries

“McMillions” (Series, HBO)
The saga of how a group of people were able to basically/kind of defraud McDonald’s of millions based off of the fucking monopoly game. I mean, wow. Seriously interesting though.

“The Devil Next Door” (Series, Netflix)
It is discovered that retired,, blue collar Polish immigrant living in Michigan was a sadistic Nazi death camp guard…..or was he?

“Operation Odessa” (Movie, Showtime)
The story of how a crooked Miami business, honcho for the Cali Cartel, and a Ukranian gangster almost acquired A MOTHAFUCKIN SUBMARINE for the cartel to use to transport product. Insanity.

Pete Frates, Local Legend Who Brought Mass Awareness to ALS, Passes Away At 34

By on • ( Leave a comment )

I know this blog exists almost solely for entertainment but considering its roots in the Boston sports and culture scene, I think we’d remiss to not mention this.

Pete Frates, if you don’t know, was a local guy. A north shore kid who went on to play baseball at Boston College, no small feat, and was well on his way to living a fairy tale life until he was diagnosed with ALS at the age of 27. Twenty fucking seven.Rather than throw a pity party for himself he turned the Ice Bucket Challenge into a global sensation, brought mass awareness to ALS and ALS research, and did so while maintaining his whip-smart wit on twitter, etc

The human spirit is a remarkable thing. Pete Frates was a perfect example of that. RIP.

 

We Need To Talk

By on • ( Leave a comment )

Yahoo – Kate Beckinsale is not having it. The actress shut down critics of the fun snapshots she’s shared on Instagram over the last few days from a beach trip to Mexico. They show the 46-year-old Underworld actress in a couple of different swimsuits, prompting most people to shower her with compliments. However, a few commenters took issue with Beckinsale’s age.

Here’s the thing. We as a society have a very specific, subconscious place in our hearts. And to an extent our nether regions. I’d say 99% of people have it. And in this place we hold very dearly a very specific subsection of the human race. That populace would be the miracles that are the men and women of the world that simply don’t age. Or at least not when they’re supposed to. And to be quite clear there are more women on this list than men, which is pretty impressive considering the upkeep it takes to adhere to society’s standards. Given that women seem to be doing better in this little game, it’s no surprise that someone like Jennifer Lopez seems to hold the thrones currently – and despite the fact that my sources tell me she’s involved with one of the biggest frauds and douchebags of all time, I won’t argue with it. Men are a little different because there’s no way around the aging piece. But in terms of holding up looks I guess I’d go with Clooney? People still like Clooney right? Whatever.

A very notable member of this exclusive club, and my personal #1, is someone we will from heretofore refer to as Kate Fucking Beckinsale. She was in “Underworld” and before that “Pearl Harbor” and always had that “pretty, but actually really sexy and possibly a wild animal in the sack” thing going for her. She is honest to God fucking perfect.

And at 46, Kate Fucking Beckinsale is still an absolute fucking rocket. She is still throwing 104 on the black. She is welcoming younger, hungrier challengers in the ring and knocking them out in seconds. Come one, come all.

I could drop a “this is why the internet sucks” here but that’d be a little inaccurate. People having a forum for hating on Kate Beckinsale for throwing up pics their thirteen year old son suffered upper body blood loss to is not the problem. No, the problem is that they can disguise their motives. That’s what sucks. Former MMA fighter turned analyst/podcaster Chael Sonnen said something the other day I found interesting. He said there was an unacknowledged and misunderstood different between jealousy and envy. I don’t remember the exact definitions but basically jealous is a corrupt need to protect something you have while envy is the corrupt desire to have something someone else has. These haters of Kate Fucking Beckinsale are envious. Enviiiiiiiooooouuussss. EeNnVvIiOoUuSs. They log onto Tim Berners-Lee’s world wide web from the house they share with a dolt of a husband and 3 screaming kids and see Kate Beckinsale looking like a snack, the entree, and dessert all rolled into one and suddenly HATE that their bodies look like a fucking water balloon that is being squeezed by 4 different people at once. They HATE her for it. 46 years old. 46 and still looking better than some of these 46 year old haters’ daughters and possibly, in the south, granddaughters.

Don’t be them. Don’t be that envious. There aren’t many Kate Fucking Beckinsale’s out there.We can’t help. We aren’t going to look like that at 46. We probably don’t look like that now and never did. And that’s ok. That doesn’t mean mean we tear her down for firing off ‘kini shots at this stage in the game. That’d be like getting mad at Tom Brady for winning this stage in his. Smile, embrace it, and if you have a negative thought, well, shut the fuck up. That’s Kate Fucking Beckinsale you’re talking about.