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Science Proves Once Again That My Life is Hell with Boston Traffic Study

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Boston Globe – “Boston must have the worst rush-hour traffic in the country. Now you can back that up with numbers. Gridlock during the peak of the morning and evening commutes was worse in Boston in 2018 than in any other major metropolitan area, even Los Angeles with its infamous traffic, according to a report from Inrix, a transportation data firm that publishes annual rankings of congestion around the world.”

Well I’m glad the tweets that I fire off in a blind rage during my commute aren’t completely falling on deaf ears. I can’t say I’m entirely surprised by this study though.

“Essentially, Inrix measured the time penalty for driving during rush hour, and there Boston topped the list of US cities: Commuters who drove at the worst peak hour conditions would have spent 164 hours in traffic that they would have avoided under regular conditions. On this metric, Los Angeles ranked sixth, behind Washington, D.C., Seattle, Chicago, and New York.”

Well no kidding. I can get to my office on a Saturday morning in like 15 minutes, but 8 am on a Monday? That’s an hour. 5 pm on a Wednesday? 90 minutes maybe.

It also didn’t help that the city of Boston decided it would be a good idea to REMOVE A LANE on Storrow Drive, one of the most congested areas of traffic in the entire city. Ya know it’s only where 93 flows into North Station, the Museum of Science, and Cambridgeside Galleria, which is the only mall in the area.

If you look at some of my tweets from my time spent sitting in traffic over the years, you can actually see my will to live remain gainfully employed slowly deteriorating.

Bill Belichick Does Not Mess Around; Already Repainted His Boat to VIII Rings

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You think you win that many Super Bowl rings by procrastinating? Hell no. Bill probably was on the phone (flip phone no doubt) with his boat guy the second he finished his Super Bowl post game press conference. He doesn’t care that it’s February and that his boat won’t see the light of day on Nantucket for another 3 months. God forbid someone sees the boat and thinks he’s only won SEVEN rings. Might as well be Mike McCarthy at that point.

Get your Belichick Hater of the Year shirt and stunt on everyone.

The New Jersey Devils Are Giving Away David Puddy Bobbleheads and They’re Amazing

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NBC Sports – The relationship between the New Jersey Devils and David Puddy goes back 24 years when Seinfeld aired the legendary “The Face Painter” episode, with Puddy supporting the team through the red, white and green art on his face.

On Feb. 19, you can take the face-painted Puddy home in bobblehead form when the Devils take on the Pittsburgh Penguins during the team’s ‘90s Night.

Gotta let them know you’re out there, it’s the playoffs. New Jersey and New York have the absolute best Seinfeld related giveaways, especially the Brooklyn Cyclones with their incredible swag each summer. (I’ll let Papa Giorgio tell his story of how he missed out on the legendary Keith Hernandez clock another time)

I am a diehard Seinfeld fan so this bobblehead speaks to me. Hell I once went all the way down to City Hall on my lunch break to meet the one and only Soup Nazi.

I’m not even a Devils fan, but I might have to expense an Amtrak down there on The 300s company card my debit card to pick this up.

Bravo, New Jersey. Bravo.You might have an absurdly complicated turnpike system as means of getting around your state, but goddamnit did you hit this out of the park.

PS – Some of the best Seinfeld theme nights and giveaways below:

 

Scientists Tried to Find a Cure for Hangovers, People in the Study Less Than Helpful

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CNN – European researchers have bad news for the 76% of Americans who experience hangovers after a drinking session: Try as you may to change up the order of your alcoholic beverages, if you drink too much, you will still be hungover.

Determined to find a way to help people have a better day after a night out, the researchers recruited 90 brave souls in Germany between the ages of 19 and 40 to drink beer, wine or both. One group drank 2½ pints of beer, followed by four large glasses of wine. The second group drank the four glasses of wine first, then the 2½ pints of beer. A third group drank only beer or only wine. Everyone was kept under medical supervision overnight..The results, published Thursday in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, show no difference in the intensity of the hangover brought on by drinking wine first followed by beer or the other way around.

Man I really missed the boat on being a scientist. Accomplish absolutely nothing at work and then get published in CNN as a reward.  Long story short (and probably after a bunch of money was wasted) these scientists discovered that you can’t really prevent a hangover.

Whether you drink beer or wine, or a mixture, or even if you switch up the order it doesn’t really matter. You booze you lose. However the funniest part of this whole story was just how unhelpful the people in the study were.

“The researchers acknowledged limitations to their study. For example, they couldn’t assign a control group to drink beer or wine without alcohol, as the participants in an alcohol study were not interested in being in a non-alcoholic group“

Get drunk in the name of science? I will make that sacrifice. Try and mix in some O’Douls? Kick rocks, nerd. Come to think of it, thats probably why this study was inconclusive. When the scientists tried to test some placebos the alcoholics revolted.

Never mess with a man’s beer. Even for science.

Welp, Looks Like I’m Having Taco Bell for Dinner

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Forbes – Taco Bell today announced that delivery is now available nationwide, a day shy of the one-year anniversary since parent company Yum! Brands announced its partnership with Grubhub. That partnership included Yum’s $200 million investment in the delivery company to accelerate expansion of its network.

With today’s announcement, Taco Bell delivery via Grubhub is now available in 65% of its restaurants across the nation. 

I love me some Taco Bell. I don’t just like it, I love it. But the biggest problem with Taco Bell, at least in the Boston area, is that they are almost nonexistant. There’s the one in the Cambridgeside Galleria and then there’s one in Saugus. Other than that the only one I can even think of is in Quincy. Whichever one I choose becomes a goddamn expedition that James and the Giant Peach wouldn’t even attempt. So now I can have this delicious beef paste delivered hot to my door? Goodbye summer bod and any human interaction.

“There’s no doubt that the consumer wants delivery. There’s no doubt that they’re prepared to pay for delivery. There’s no doubt we see a higher check. There’s no doubt we see an incremental transaction,”

Having less locations in Boston than there are Infinity Stones will actually work to Taco Bell’s benefit if they can hire enough delivery drivers to not make this a complete cluster. More and more fast food restaurants in particular are getting into the delivery business, but there’s no way I’m paying a premium for McDonalds because I drive by like 3 of them on my way home from work. But Taco Bell? Hell yea I’ll pay $12 for a Crunch Wrap Supreme, a Doritos Locos taco, a Baja Blast, and a spicy chicken burrito.

With a smile on my face.

And you better believe I am picking up some fresh Taco Bell apparel at the flagship cantina when The 300s does Vegas next month. (I went there twice in one day that last time I was in Vegas)

Is Danny Amendola Destined to Rejoin the Patriots?

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I wasn’t sure if I even wanted to blog this because this scoop is coming from a twitter user that does not have the end all be all blue check mark, but you’re all smart people so take this with a grain of salt. According to our guy here, the Dolphins are already feeling some buyers remorse on the big contract they gave Danny Amendola just one year ago and may move on from him this offseason. I think we all can agree that Amendola was at his best, like most offensive players, with Tom Brady and was unlikely to match that level of production elsewhere, especially with a bum like Ryan Tannehill throwing him the ball. Amendola did have 59 receptions last year, but only 1 touchdown so its understandable for a team about to bring in a new coach and offensive coordinator (albeit former Patriots coaches) wanting to start fresh.

Couple that with this “Bold Prediction” from ESPN today saying they expect the Patriots to load up at the receiver position as they so famously did back in 2007.

Similar to 2007, when they traded for Randy Moss and Wes Welker, New England will bring in a few receivers following a season in which they were limited at the position. Whether that’s early in the draft, in free agency or via trade, the cupboard will be well-stocked.- Mike Reiss

I don’t know if I would categorize bringing back Amendola as loading up, but wouldn’t you love to have him as the 3rd or 4th receiver next year? Especially if and when Chris Hogan leaves in free agency? He was set to make $6 million in Miami this year so if he does get cut he obviously won’t be making close to that in New England, which could present a problem for a guy who famously took a bunch of pay cuts to stay with the Pats. And he didn’t exactly hide his frustration with Bill on his way out the door so this reunion may not be as automatic as some fans would like to think. I would welcome it with open arms though.

Celtics Lose On a Buzzer Beater by Old Friend Rajon Rondo, But That Wasn’t the Worst Part

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Last night the Celtics blew an 18 point lead to LeBron and the Lakers and lost on a buzzer beater by our old friend Rajon Rondo. The Lakers were hotter than the sun as they set a franchise record for 3 pointers made.

LeBron was even using some sort of black magic while en route to another triple double he somehow converted a sloppy turnover down the stretch into a fadeaway three under pressure.

And then of course Rajon Rondo, whom I adore by the way, couldn’t hit a jump shot in 9 years in Boston yet corrals a loose ball and pulls up to hit a buzzer beater before I could even blink.

Unbelievable. Just look at Rondo’s shot chart over the course of his career, courtesy of our friends at NBAsavant.com.

Rondo is literally just as likely to hit a corner 3 as he is to hit that jumper at the elbow.

Whether its primetime games on ESPN and TNT or postseason games, Rajon Rondo morphs into Playoff Rondo every time the spotlight is on.

But that all paled in comparison to what we saw immediately after the game. My basketball nemesis LeBron James leaping for joy and hugging my man Rajon Rondo on the sacred Celtics hardwood.

That one hurt boys.

Anthony Davis NOT Traded Before Deadline. Lakers Now Salty as Celtics Are Very Much in Play.

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Good. I for one am tired of the Lakers just getting superstars in their prime simply because they want them. I have dealt with players not wanting to come to Boston for my entire life because its cold like 9 months out of the year. So for a team in the Pelicans to just flip the bird right in Magic and LeBron’s face brings me great joy.

And now the Lakers are saltyyy.

HAHAHA

You can literally hear LeBron’s voice coming through Windhorst’s face with this nonsense. For the Lakers Windhorst to act appalled that the Pelicans didn’t want to do business with the Lakers is hilarious. It’s a holier than thou take from a tampering franchise because as I said last week there is no more powerful motivator than spite and the Lakers Anthony Davis’ agent Rich Paul essentially planted a poison pill in the New Orleans locker room a week before the trade deadline after publicly requesting a trade and then leaking reports that Davis only wants to play in LA. If I’m the Pelicans I would 1000% do the same thing. I might even take a lesser deal if I had to purely out of spite rather than gift wrap another superstar in his prime to the Lakers.

Now as a Celtics fan we’ve heard all kinds of packages and proposals and potential deals. They all make me nauseous because I don’t want to trade Tatum and Smart and whoever the hell else gets thrown in. Buttt, I also didn’t want to trade Big Al Jefferson and look how that worked out for the Celtics.

Am I concerned with trading a boatload of assets for potentially one year of Anthony Davis? Absolutely. But I just cannot see how AD could come here and play alongside Kyrie (more on that in a second) and most likely go on a deep playoff run, if not win a title, and then say nah I still would rather go play on a bum ass Lakers team with a LeBron James that is closer to 40 years old than 30. Cannot see it.

What if Kyrie jets? Well thats your doomsday scenario right there. The Celtics trade a bundle of assets for Davis and Kyrie leaves anyways because then there is a zero percent chance Davis re-signs with Boston to be a part of that lottery team. You’d basically be left with the Time Lord who hopefully could send the team back in time to avoid the entire thing.

But, I also just cannot see Kyrie leaving. If he wants to be *the* guy, then thats what he has here. From all accounts he wants to play with Anthony Davis too, who is a megastar, yet is a pretty quiet, unassuming guy.

So that would be perfect for Irving; Kyrie would be the man even if he’s not technically the best player on the team. But if he truly wants to be the guy scoring 40 a game, the hands down best player on the team, surrounded by a bunch of deferential no names, then he can be 2006 Paul Pierce on a lottery team somewhere. I don’t think he wants that though. I think he wants to win, albeit his way, but Kyrie wants to win. If the C’s can get AD to pair with him then it locks this team into being a co-favorite to win the NBA title for the next several years. Plus, you would have to be a total sociopath to grab a microphone and announce to a crowd of people that you plan to re-sign with the team only to say PSYCH like 6 months later. I think Kyrie’s council of wise elders would advise him to stay in Boston.

I remain cautiously optimistic at the house of cards our lord and savior Danny Ainge has built.

This Felger and Mazz Take on Julian Edelman from 2011 Did NOT Age Well

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Listen it’s easy to pull bad takes out of anyone’s closet, Old Takes Exposed has literally made a career out of it, but this is so, so bad. Maybe it’s because as a 5’8″ moderately athletic guy I have an unhealthy affinity for underutilized slot guys, but I always felt like Julian Edelman was just waiting to take over for Wes Welker. Or maybe it’s because Edelman was a stud 5th wide receiver for me in Madden running in my empty sets. Who knows?

But the guy was athletic, shifty, quick (not to mention a beast on punt returns) so to just outright dump on the guy from the start makes no sense. He had 37 catches as a rookie in 2009, just a couple of months removed from playing quarterback at Kent State for christ’s sake.

Not to mention, he was the reason for the sneaky funniest thing Bill Belichick has ever said when he dropped a Wally Pip reference right in Welker’s face after Edelman’s punt return TD in the 09 preseason.

I always said if the guy could get healthy he would be a stud in the Patriots offense. What do you ya know? In 2013 when he played 16 games for the first time in his career, he broke out with 105 receptions for 1,000+ yards.

Now did I ever think in my wildest dreams that Edelman would blow past the cult status of Wes Welker, establish himself as arguably the greatest receiver in Patriots history, and earn Super Bowl MVP honors along the way? Umm..no.

But I always knew he’d be a great player in this Patriots offense. I was even chirping Volin about it back in ’13.