Category: Golf

Wonderful World of Golf Rules

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AP – The rules have changed since Lee Ann Walker lasted played competitive golf. She found out the hard way.

Walker shot rounds of 85 and 74 at the Senior LPGA Championship at French Lick Resort in Indiana. That was before she realized players no longer can putt when their caddies have been standing directly behind them.

She had to add 42 penalty shots to her first round, turning that into a 127, and 16 more penalty shots for the second round, turning that into a 90…

She played the first round with Jackie Gallagher-Smith and Cathy Johnson-Forbes and said neither noticed her mistake. The second round, she played with Laura Baugh and Laura Shanahan Rowe. They did.

How nice of the Lauras. To point out Walker’s mistake “on 14 or 15,” as Walker recalled. At least it wasn’t a phone-a-friend calling in a rules violation from home. But still, enforcing a rule like this, in this manner, would make even Al Riveron blush. Worse, a rule like this probably would have prevented Happy Gilmore from winning the Waterbury Open, making “the tour,” and winning that Gold Jacket.

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At least Walker took the news better than I would have. [Her 127 score on round one still probably would have beaten me, too.] My clubs would have been at the bottom of the pond before I got back to my car. Maybe that’s why I don’t own clubs currently.

I’ve been unofficially retired from amateur golf for five years. I’m on strictly driving range and bachelor party circuits these days. Stories like this don’t really make me eager to go grab some clubs and drop $80, just to have some jackwagon course ranger constantly berate me and tell me I’m playing too slow.

The only desire I have to ever play golf again is if I’m on The Price is Right. I’m terrible at golf but would bet my mortgage I could make a Hole in One (or two).

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Korean Golfer Gets THREE YEAR Ban for Flipping Off Some Fans

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ESPN – The Korean Tour has suspended current money leader Bio Kim for three years after he made an obscene gesture to fans during the final round of a tournament this past weekend…Kim reacted angrily after a cellphone camera went off during his downswing. His drive ended up going about 100 yards, according to the Korea Herald.

After the poor shot, Kim, 29, turned to the crowd, flipped off fans and slammed his driver into the ground. The incident was captured on live TV in Korea.

On Monday, the Korean Professional Golfers’ Association, which operates the Korean Tour, voted unanimously to suspend Kim for the next three years. It also fined him about $8,350 in U.S. currency. In a statement, the Korean Tour said: “Kim Bi-o damaged the dignity of a golfer with etiquette violation and inappropriate behavior.”

Korean Shooter McGavin over here is clearly part of the not fucking around crew.

Damn you people go back to your shanties! Three years seems a bit harsh for flipping the bird no? I know I’ve done a lot worse on the golf course after a shitty shot. Granted I’m *paying* for the privilege of drinking 6 beers before noon and throwing my club into the woods, but hey golf is frustrating no matter the level.

I’ve never understood the unwritten rules of golf and the expected silence on the course. Sure you shouldn’t be blowing air horns on the course (even if you have bursitis), but if you can’t deal with the sound of a camera snapping a photo then maybe you’re not ready for primetime.

Phil Mickelson and His Jacked Calves Are On Standby to Replace Tom Brady If Necessary

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So yesterday news broke that Tom Brady was on the Patriots injury report after being limited at practice with a calf injury. I’m not too worried because this is the same guy that was on the Patriots injury report every week for approximately a decade with a shoulder. However, in case anything tragic does transpire, we’ve got Phil Mickelson and his JACKED calves on standby.

Even Brady himself was on board with at least a few tips from Phil on how he built those leg cannons.

In case you’ve somehow forgotten, Phil has absolute porterhouse steaks packed into his calves.

PS – Phil absolutely SMOKED a guy for shooting his shot trying to get 18 holes in with the legend and I am wheezing.

Brooks Koepka Crushes New “This is SportsCenter” Commercial

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What can’t this man do? Dominate every major tournament he plays in, rocks banana hammocks while on vacation with his super model girlfriend, makes me feel some kind of way with his ESPN The Body Issue photo shoot, and now deadpan acting in his This is SportsCenter debut.

True story: one time Mattes and I completely punted on studying for our final exams in college because the night before the exam ESPN dropped a 2 hour long Best of This is SportsCenter Commercials special on us. The choice was out of my hands. Hey, I got a C so it was well worth it.

Whats your favorite SportsCenter commercial?

The Latest Episode of Phireside With Phil Mickelson Did Not Disappoint

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These Phireside With Phil videos literally make me laugh out loud because they are just absurd. As I wrote a few weeks back, its my new favorite show. For this episode Phil literally brought a candle into the clubhouse in between rounds of The Open for this sit down interview with 3x major champion Padraig Harrington. Mickelson seems like a guy I would love to go on a bender with as Harrington tells a story of Phil just handing out bottles of wine to 18 year olds at dinner one night, on Harrington’s tab no less.

Sneaky hilarious move to put the subtitles up just for Padraig too, just in case people get lost in the brogue.

Hopefully Phil is crushing all the fatty food he can get his hands on after dropping 15 pounds in the week leading up to The Open, only to miss the cut. Thicc boys are in these days Phil, embrace it.

Darren Clarke is a Man of the People, Ripping Cigs Between Shots at The Open

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John Daly would be proud, Darren. Just an absolute man of the people we have here. Who here doesn’t rip a cig, throw in a dip, or slug a beer in between shots while on the golf course? Nobody I want to be friends with, thats who.

The Open at Royal Portrush Has Been a House of Horrors for Everyone Except My Fantasy Team

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Today has been a nightmarish start to The Open for a whole bunch of household names at Royal Portrush. Tiger Woods is +7 and tied for 144th. Seeing as how he’s had more surgeries than Gronk and has a spine made of Adamantium, Tiger unsurprisingly doesn’t play as well in cool weather. Bad news because Ireland is pretty much permanently 60 degrees and rainy.

Rory McIlroy is +8 and tied for 150th. Oh and Rory had a QUADRUPLE bogey on the first fucking hole.

Rough start for Rory who may be gripping the clubs a little tight playing in front of his countrymen.

Oh and David Duval had an absolute meltdown on Day 1 with a 14 on the 7th hole. The former Open champ and No. 1 golfer in the world actually set a record for the worst Open round in 69 years. Yikes.

So yes, the first round of The Open has put a beatdown on pretty much everyone. Everyone except my fantasy team. Yes in my infinite wisdom I rolled with studs like Brooks Koepka (-3), John Rahm (-4), Jason Day (-1), Tommy Fleetwood (-3), and my guy Kiradech Aphibarnrat (-3). This squad of killers has me currently tied for 4th place in my fantasy pool.

Naturally I forgot to double dip my lineup in some sweet, sweet DraftKings action, but hey I could definitely use the free green fees and cart fees that go along with winning my fantasy pool. Now I just have to sweat it out for the next 3+ days.

Phireside With Phil (Mickelson) is My New Favorite Show

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SOMEONE TOOK A DUMP IN THE CUP!

Phil Mickelson is the most interesting dude in golf hands down. Completely unprompted, just launching a webs series so he can break out old stories of a phantom shitter on the golf course. I had zero idea where he was going with this, but I gotta say Phil has a real knack for storytelling. Sets the scene, introduces key characters, builds up the suspense, then BAM he drops the punchline and gets the hell out of dodge. As the infamous George Costanza once said: always leave on a high note.

Patrick Reed SNAPPED On the 18th Hole of the US Open in the Golf Video of the Year

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I gasped when I saw this video late last night. Patrick Reed was in great position to make the cut at the US Open on Friday as he got to the 18th hole. Well, then things went sideways for the former Master champ.

He was even par for the tournament, with the cut line at two over par. A double bogey would be enough to survive and advance. He seemed pretty safe.

But then the fun began. Reed’s tee shot found the right rough, 250 yards from the hole. He proceeded to hit his second shot only 140 yards, into the left bunker that runs next to the the seawall along the Pacific Ocean. OK, no big deal. Hit it on the green, two putt and have a nice dinner.

Reed’s third shot, however, missed long of the green into the thick gnarly rough. Trying to hit a flop shot on to the green to a front-right hole location, Reed proceeded to hit his fourth shot back over the green into more thick rough.

Then with his fifth shot, he flubbed a chip, leaving the ball in the rough again.

Hilarious and probably the most relatable thing I’ve seen from Patrick Reed. After having a meltdown on the 18th green of Pebble Beach he still had to finish the hole. Its not like that shot totally killed him so it was a bit of an awkward situation when he finally squeaked in.

To the man’s credit, he steadied himself and hit his sixth to just outside two feet, and then rolled in the putt. With a wry smile, he shook the hands of the other two in his threesome, went off and signed his score card.

Patrick Reed; the people’s golfer for people like me who sometimes flip out on the course.

Jordan Spieth DRAGGED His Caddie at the US Open After Junking a Couple of Shots

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Golf Digest – Jordan Spieth had played his first seven holes Thursday at the U.S. Open in even par when he hit what he thought was a perfect tee ball on Pebble Beach’s par-4 eighth hole.

However, Spieth’s ball went long, rolling through the fairway and off the cliff. Making matters worse, Spieth’s third shot into the green went long, setting up a difficult chip from well above the hole.

That’s when Spieth appeared to blame his caddie, Michael Greller. He was picked up on camera saying, “Two perfect shots, Michael. You got me in the water on one and over the green on the other.”

Spieth went on to bogey the hole.

Not a good look for Jordan here just throwing his caddie right under the bus. Now I know it was picked up by a hot mic and its not like it came in an interview, but thats almost worse. He’s just dragging his caddie because he hit a shitty shot. I mean this is Shooter McGavin type stuff here.

Obviously PGA caddie’s a paid very well to advise their golfers on strategy, but thats the key word; advise. You’re still a wildly successful professional golfer, you should be able to stop and think about a shot approach if you don’t agree with the advice.

Damn you people. This is golf. Not a rock concert.