The Gamblers Guide to Betting on the Celtics and the Atlantic Division This Year

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So we’re two weeks into the 2019-20 NBA season and the Celtics are a solid 4-1 with wins over the Knicks (twice), the Raptors, and an incredible comeback win over the Bucks. Their only loss came on opening night to the Sixers, made worse by the sight of Al Horford in a Philly jersey. The Celtics look like they’ll be a pretty good team made better possibly with addition by subtraction. Kemba Walker looks like a match made in heaven as a guy who can drop 30 a night, yet is more than happy to pass up a last shot to blossoming superstars like Jayson Tatum.

What made that Tatum game winner even better was that it was the exact same play that the Celtics ran in Orlando last year leading to Kyrie throwing a fit on the court for not getting the ball. Oh and Kyrie continues to be an absolute PILL in New Jersey, memorialized by Jackie MacMullan’s great piece last week. Enjoy the ride, Nets fans.

Now for the most important part: the gambling.  Its a little early to overreact one way or the other and the Celtics’ unlikely come from behind double digit win over the Bucks probably skews things a little bit. But pick your spots with this C’s team and you could make some decent cash as they continue to surprise people.

  • Philadelphia 76ers
    • ESPN Projected Finish: 57-27, 2nd in the East
    • Key Storylines: Addition of Al Horford, Finally Getting Over the Hump, Overcoming Lack of Depth
    • 5-0 Against the Spread

The Sixers took their biggest weakness last year, a lack of bench depth, and doubled down on it. They lost Jimmy Butler and JJ Reddick, but picked up big man Al Horford to pair with Ben Simmons and Joel Embiid. The Sixers have arguably the best starting 5 in the league, but the end of the bench is pretty barren yet again. With that being said they are 5-0 and the current No. 1 seed in the East so while they don’t have much margin for error, they are one of the most talented squads in the league.

  • Boston Celtics
    • ESPN Projected Finish: 48-34, 3rd in the East
    • Key Storylines: Loss of Kyrie Irving and Al Horford, Addition of Kemba Walker, Addition by Subtraction, Jayson Tatum the All-Star
    • 3-2 ATS

If the Celtics are going to go anywhere this year its going to largely be due to Jayson Tatum. Sure Kemba Walker is the latest max free agent in town and Jaylen Brown just got PAID, but this team needs Tatum to become an elite wing player this season if they want to do some damage. I’ve been predicting big things for Tatum despite a less than stellar second season. So far this season he looks excellent averaging 22 PPG while shooting 40% from the field, an impressive 48% from three and an abysmal 75% from the line. Along with Pascal Siakam, Tatum was voted by ESPN as the most likely player to make their first All-Star team in the East, both earning 68.2% of the votes. With Tatum and likely Kemba making the All-Star team, an improved Brown, a finally looking like a basketball player again Gordon Hayward, and All-World defense from Marcus Smart, this team could be in business. As we seem to say every year since KG and Perk left town, the Celtics will need someone to step up as a rim protector/rebounder/big man presence. Whether thats Enes Kanter, Daniel Theis or Robert Williams evolving into the role, the C’s will need someone to step up if they want to compete with the Sixers.

  • Brooklyn Nets
    • ESPN Projected Finish: 45-37, 5th in the East
    • Key Storylines: Addition of Kyrie Irving and Kevin Durant, Kyrie Still a Pill
    • 2-4 ATS

This will be a much safer bet next season when Kevin Durant returns to the court, assuming he’s healthy, but in the meantime they will be a fun team to watch. Despite all his bizarre antics and issues with the media, Kyrie Irving remains one of the most electric one on one players in the league. While thats not necessarily the best path to winning a title, it definitely will steal the Nets some games they have no business winning.

  • Toronto Raptors
    • ESPN Projected Finish: 45-37, 6th in the East
    • Key Storylines: Defending Champs, Loss of Kawhi Leonard and Danny Green, Growth of Pascal Siakam
    • 4-2 ATS

Man what a roller coaster ride 2019 has been for Drizzy Drake’s favorite squad. Sorry let me clarify, I meant Drake’s hometown team the Raptors not his other favorite squad the Golden State Warriors. Winning their first title behind a Herculean effort from Kawhi Leonard solidifying his spot as the best player in the NBA…to Kawhi walking away and now defending their title with Pascal Siakam and not much else. Siakam was voted by ESPN as the co-favorite to earn their first time All-Star bid in the East. Its hard to be mad as the defending champs, but they went from the favorites (especially with a rapidly imploding Warriors team) to a team that will be scrapping for a bottom half seed in the East this year.

  • New York Knicks
    • ESPN Projected Finish: 26-56, 13th in the East
    • Key Storylines: ….lottery picks and 2020 Free Agency?
    • 1-6 ATS

If you bet real, actual, American dollars on the New York Knicks then you are on your own. Sure Marcus Morris is great to watch when he’s on, but you are banking on the latest iteration of James Dolan’s madness here. Maybe if you get them in a parlay, but other than that I cannot advise gambling on this dumpster fire.

So to wrap it up, who has the best shot at winning the division? Lets not get ahead of ourselves and ask who’s going to take down LeBron and the Lakers or Kawhi and the Clippers in the Finals quite yet. As of late October, the Sixers had become -200 favorites to win the Atlantic, improving from -160 on opening night. The Celtics remained the second-favorite, but were well back at +420, only a shade ahead of the new-look Raptors at +490 with all odds via Sports Betting Dime. Expect those odds to be a little closer together when they’re updated next. Boston’s impressive 116-105 win over the 60-win Bucks made a statement that Brad Stevens’ team is going to be a tough out this year.

I LOVE the Celtics at +420 to win the division. Sure that means catching the Sixers and winning 50+ games, who ESPN has them finishing 9 games behind, but those are odds to bet on. The Sixers at -160 is almost even money and forget it if Embiid misses time with the annual injury or load management concerns. The Raptors feel pretty unlikely to leapfrog both Boston and Philly so I’m not sold on them, and I think this season is a holding pattern for Brooklyn and yet another rebuilding year for the Knicks. So slap down some cash on the Celtics and enjoy the ride.

On the Road Again? No Better Place to Be for Game 7

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As I’m sure you heard last night, this 2019 World Series was the first best-of-seven postseason series in the history of major North American sports where the road team won all seven games. Pretty remarkable. What’s also remarkable is how well road teams have fared in winner-take-all Game 7’s over the past decade. Not all that long ago you could bet your house on the home team in Game 7. Not any more.

When the Pittsburgh Penguins won Game 7 of the 2009 Stanley Cup Final they were the first team in any of the North American major men’s sports leagues to win a Game 7 of a championship round on the road since, fittingly, the Pittsburgh Pirates won Game 7 of the World Series on the road in 1979. For nearly 30 years, no road team won a championship round Game 7 on the road.

For the Penguins, they were the first NHL team to win a Stanley Cup Final Game 7 on the road since 1971. During the 38 years in between, road teams were 0-6 in Stanley Cup Final Game 7’s. Since 2009, road teams are 3-0 in Stanley Cup Final Game 7’s.

The San Francisco Giants got Major League Baseball road teams off the Game 7 schneid in 2014, when they defeated the Kansas City Royals in Game 7 of the World Series in Kansas City. In between the 1979 Pirates and 2014 Giants, road teams were 0-9 in World Series Game 7’s. Since 2014, road teams are 4-0 in Game 7 of the World Series.

More recently, the Cleveland Cavaliers got NBA teams of the Game 7 scheid when they defeated the Golden State Warriors in Game 7 of the 2016 NBA Finals. The last NBA team to win Game 7 of the Finals on the road had been the Washington Bullets in 1978. In the 38 years between, road teams went 0-6 in Game 7’s. The 2016 NBA Finals was the last NBA Finals to go seven games.

Across all three leagues (because the NFL, obviously, does not play series), no road team won a Game 7 in the 1980s (0-for-7) or the 1990s (0-for-4). Road teams were nearly blanked in the 2000s (1-for-8), too, until the 2009 Pittsburgh Penguins won the Cup in Detroit. That means road teams lost a mind boggling 18-straight winner-take-all Game 7’s. They’re 7-3 this decade, and have won the most recent Game 7’s in all three leagues. That includes the last NBA Finals Game 7, the last three Stanley Cup Final Game 7’s and the last four World Series Game 7’s.

After losing 18-straight Game 7’s from 1982-2006, road teams in all three leagues are 8-3 in championship round Game 7’s since.  So what changed? Some ideas:

  • Air travel is much easier today than it was in 1984 when the Lakers had to fly to Boston for a Game 7 in the (presumably 94°) Boston Garden (the NBA still followed a 2-2-1-1-1 format at that time). The Cleveland Cavaliers probably had a bit of an easier time flying to the Bay Area in 2016 when they defeated the Warriors on the road in Game 7.
  • With more players changing teams more frequently, there may be less of a home-field advantage.Justin Verlander didn’t pitch in Game 7 on the road in in 2017, but hear me out. He got traded from Detroit to Houston on August 31st that year. If he had pitched in Game 7 of the World Series in LA, would it have been much different for him than if he had pitched in a Game 7 in Houston? He was traded there less than two months earlier. I know that athletes don’t live like us, but his pad in Houston in October 2017 was probably more like Ryan Bingham’s condo than he would care to admit. He probably wasn’t rolling out of bed in a mansion in Houston at that time before he rolled up to the ballpark.

    Derek Jeter, on the other hand, had quite the home field advantage. In 80 career playoff games at home he hit .332 in with 12 home runs and 29 RBI in 322 at bats. In 78 road playoff games, he hit .284 with just 8 home runs and 27 RBI in 328 at bats. Playing for one team for 20 years gets you a really nice routine, I suppose.

  • It seems as if home teams have been awfully tight at home in Game 7’s recently. The Bruins at home against the Blues just four months ago seems like a pretty good example of that. I don’t know how/why the psychology of playing at home would change over the last decade, but maybe fans tweeting on their phones all game and taking selfies has changed the energy levels in these venues? That would certainly seem to hurt the home teams more than the road teams.
  • A combination of point #1 and #3. With air travel being easier (and cheaper) than ever, maybe more fans are following their teams on the road for Game 7? I bet the Boston Garden was 98% Celtics fans in 1984’s Game 7. What percentage of Minute Maid Park last night was Nationals fans? I’m not sure, but I bet it was substantially more than 2%. That could certainly change the vibe of a building, too.

Whatever the reason, one thing is certain. Boy am I glad I don’t bet on baseball.

 

Why Do An Open Workout When Jorge Masvidal Can Just Have Fans Spar?

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This card and this fight, more specifically, really is an MMA fans wet dream. The Nose had it right when he said this is what MMA is all about. Two guys the fans just love who have awesome fighting styles just squared off in a main event to see who is, pardon the pun, badder. The UFC marketed it perfect – the Baddest Motherfucker Title, putting it in MSG, not trying to push a story line. The combatants showed the utmost respect for each other, from the moment Nate Diaz called for a fight with Masvidal to Masvidal being Diaz’s most vocal supporter during the bs USADA scandal last week. It’s all really been perfect.

And now this. Masvidal is well known as a guy who, although insanely talented in all facets of MMA, came from a background of underground, bareknuckle fighting on Kimbo Slice “undercards” in Miami. Backyards, boat yards, it didn’t matter. The guy liked to compete in the most primal of manners. So he decided, apparently, to share his experiences with his fans and let them glove up and spar each other on stage in front of the gathered masses rather than hit mitts himself. The UFC let it go, at Masvidal’s urging, for what seemed to be three or so groupings of body shot-only pugilism before breaking it up. I can only imagine the lawsuit if someone broke a rib or something so it makes sense. Still, what a sight. I cannot wait for this fucking fight.

-Joey B.

PS: Love Gamebred but #NickDiazArmy for life.

The First Game of Thrones Prequel Got Axed, But “House of the Dragon” Was Greenlit

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IGN – Game of Thrones’ planned prequel series is no longer going forward at HBO.
After a pilot for the Naomi Watts-starring series was filmed earlier this year, the network has opted not to move forward with the untitled Game of Thrones spinoff..Set 5,000 years before the events of Game of Thrones, the prequel would have explored the Age of Heroes and likely key historical figures like Bran the Builder — but, notably, wouldn’t feature the Targargyens. Martin had said that while the Starks and direwolves will be featured in the show, it would be a different Westeros than what fans are used to.

The Game Of Thrones universe really has taken a lot of blows over the last 6 months. Yesterday we got news of David Benioff and DB Weiss getting 86’d from Star Wars and now HBO isn’t picking up The Long Night prequel series despite already shooting a pilot.

To be honest a prequel starring Naomi Watts and focusing on characters like Bran the Builder, pre-Targaryens, pre-White Walkers, pre-7 kingdoms didn’t really sound all that interesting. Well, it looks like HBO agreed.

However I am a schill for anything Thrones related so I will watch anything and everything they put out. It would be interesting to see the buildup to the first appearance of the White Walkers and hopefully get some actual meat on the bones around their origin. If you recall this scene from Season 1, Old Nan tells Bran a story about The Long Night, which took place thousands of years before the Game of Thrones we know and love.

A lot of Thrones news has broken this week, including Benioff and Weiss deciding to leave (i.e. got fired) the next Star Wars trilogy they were hired to develop. Benioff and Weiss basically admitted in a recent Q&A not even understanding the GoT characters until they were *forced* to write more scenes due to contractual obligations.

Who admits that?? Seriously, just look at some of the exchanges these two gave.

I understand its supposed to be self deprecating and tweets don’t convey tone and context, which can mean a lot, but these guys are basically confirming what every one of their critics has been hammering them on since Season 8 ended.

It would seem like the next best bet of seeing Thrones on your TV any time in the near future would be HBO picking up the script for George RR Martin’s Targaryen prequel “Fire and Blood,” which takes place hundreds of years before Thrones and focuses on how the Targaryen dynasty came to be.

[Update: HBO officially teased it last night]

Thankfully, Miguel Sapochnik is attached as executive producer and director which is great news since he directed some of the best Thrones episodes ever. Sapochnik directed Battle of the Bastards (which won an Emmy), Hardhome (wildlings battle with White Walkers), Winds of Winter (Cersei blowing up the Sept), as well as Season 8 eps The Long Night (battle with the White Walkers at Winterfell) and The Bells (Khaleesi destroying Kings Landing).

Yes House of the Dragon is based on the prequel Martin wrote while he was too busy to finish writing the main books that would have saved the TV show. Benioff and Weiss got exposed badly in the last 2 seasons once the play by play directions (and dialogue) from Martin were no longer there. The internet mob has already played judge, jury, and executioner with Benioff and Weiss earning all the blame for the meh Season 8. But Martin should get just as much blame, especially after working with those two guys for a decade. He knew what they were and what they weren’t actually creating and he probably knew the show would take a hit once his playbook wasn’t there for them to lean on. So he decided to write a 736 page history of the Targaryens instead of finishing the only important Game of Thrones story.

What the fuck man?

Thats negligent malpractice on Martin’s part so that final Game of Thrones novel better be the best goddamn book since the Bible.

PS – I know its too closely tied to the show that literally just ended, but give me a mini-series of Robert’s Rebellion and I would watch the shit out of that. Everyone already knows the key characters so you don’t need to spend years building it up. Get in, get out, make a billion dollars.

Nationals Fan Sacrificed the Body to Save His Beers

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Shoutout to this guy for sacrificing the body to make sure his beers stayed upright, cool, and crispy. He took it off the chest like it was a lob pass in soccer. Except it wasn’t, it was a goddamn rock hit 330+ feet. Do you know how fast that baseball was moving? I took a sabermetrics class in college under the guise of a Math and Economics class so please excuse the baseball nerd jargon. According to Fangraphs, the mean exit velocity of a home run in the MLB this season was 103 mph. 103! So this guy took a triple digit baseball off the chest all so he could maintain the dignity of his Bud Lights. God bless him because that shit is gonna leave a mark, but hey at $13 bucks a beer he really had no other choice.

This dude even got free tix to Game 6 out of it courtesy of Bud Light. What a time to be alive.

Did Enes Kanter Just Leak the New Celtics Jerseys?

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It sure looks like he did. Kanter just put this up on his IG Story, which The Athletic’s Emily McCarthy is speculating could be the Celtics’ new City Edition jersey.

The City Edition jerseys are basically a shameless cash grab by Nike and the NBA, which I’m okay with because I’m a self proclaimed jersey guy. But only when they’re good. These jerseys would seem to hit the right note with the Gaelic lettering, but I can’t say I understand the teal coloring? Unless thats a deep cut Irish reference (Saint Patrick’s blue?) that I’m missing, it actually looks more like a Charlotte Hornets jersey, at least from the back. Welp, either way looks like Kanter should just put Whistleblower on the back of his jersey for this leak. Appreciate the early look!

PS – I’m still holding out hope Nike brings back the NBA Christmas Edition jerseys that the league used to do. Nike did away with it when they took over the jersey contract, most likely so they could roll out the City Edition jerseys. But give me a new Christmas Kemba jersey and you can charge my credit card today.

All Sorts of DC and Marvel Rumors Are Swirling and I’m Having a Nerdgasm

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I am a nerd when it comes to this stuff so take these casting and movie rumors and inject them into my damn veins.

“[Sources] have informed us that inspired by the success of Joker, WB is now looking to do more standalone, dark and mature DC movies. And one project they’d like to make happen is a live-action Batman Beyond with [Michael] Keaton in the lead role.“

There is a rumor floating around that Michael Keaton could be in line to star as Bruce Wayne in a live action Batman Beyond movie. Batman Beyond was one of the best takes on Batman without rehashing the same old origin story that everyone goes back to. It focused on an old Bruce Wayne who used to be Batman with the mantle of the Dark Knight going to a young Terry McGinnis in the not so distant future. If that doesn’t give you a pants tent, well the internet has already started designing fake posters for this non-existent movie.

Then there are people who are doing the mental gymnastics around how this project could already be in the works. Theres been a TON of mystery and secrecy around Robert Pattinson’s upcoming Batman movie and mostly because nobody knows what its about. Especially after Ben Affleck’s script got thrown in the trash. So some people are theorizing that Pattinson could actually be playing Terry McGinnis with Keaton sliding in to play the older Bruce Wayne.

Sign. Me. Up.

And if you really wanted to fuck with people you could bring back Mark Hammil, who voiced the Joker in Batman the Animated Series and in some of the video games, for the fourth iteration of the Joker in the pasts decade.

Also, unrelated yet hilarious, a picture of Henry Cavill’s mustachioed Superman has finally leaked and it is glorious. Honestly, for all the dark tones these DC movies tried to force down our throats, maybe a man of steel with a flavor savor wouldn’t have been the worst thing.

Now that we’ve gone through DC’s latest rumors, lets head on over to the big kid on the block in the MCU.

In his new role as Creative Czar of Marvel, Kevin Feige is reportedly rebooting all of the Marvel TV shows that had mixed results. This comes as no surprise after each of the Marvel Netflix shows was slowly and methodically cancelled. Some like Daredevil and the Punisher were legitimately great shows and others like Iron Fist I could not make it through the pilot. Now its a real shame that Marvel plans to reboot these shows because it just makes the whole Netflix Marvel era feel like a waste of time. (Ironically enough thats been DC’s fundamental flaw forever) HOWEVER, there are now rumors circulating that while Feige will indeed reboot these shows he wants to keep some of the key actors in these roles.

“Our sources – the same ones who recently brought us accurate scoops such as Wiccan will debut in WandaVision, General Ross will appear in She-Hulk and the Inhumans will show up in Ms. Marvel – say that the Man Without Fear is likely to be played by Charlie Cox again. From what we understand, Feige still wants Cox as Daredevil, Jon Bernthal as the Punisher and a few more actors to reprise their roles, but for the most part, the TV characters will all be recast and whether they’re brought to life by a new performer or not, they’ll all be rebooted, with the super producer basically wanting to wipe Marvel TV’s efforts from continuity/existence.”

That is nothing more than a whisper in the wind, but that would be incredible and not to mention entirely unprecedented. I can’t think of one instance of a show or movie getting rebooted with the same actor returning to the role. That would be like Jared Leto and his weird, hoodrich version of the Joker reprising his role in the Todd Philips’ dark, grounded, gritty standalone film.

Don’t mess with me, internet message boards. These rumors are too good to not be true.

 

Whats the Most Random Sports Shirt/Jersey You Own?

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I think to classify as a “random” shirt or jersey it has to be a guy that was elite for a short period of time, a cult hero in no way due to their actual athletic prowess ( I was *this* close to buying a Gabe Kapler Yomiuri Giants jersey in 2005), a player that was only on a team for a hot minute (I’ve seen two John Lynch Patriots jerseys in Allston over the years), or a jersey that is so obscure that it should not realistically belong to you.

I am an unabashed jersey guy so I have a closet full of obscure pieces beyond just the Boston teams. The Priest Holmes jersey I bought in a Connecticut Marshalls in 2007, Byron Dafoe, Antoine Walker (shirt and jersey), Tim Tebow Patriots shirt, Sergei Samsonov shirt, banana yellow Marcus Mariota Oregon jersey, JR Redmond Patriots jersey, Pedro Mets shirt, a literal blank Athletics jersey, the list goes on and on.

Ya know, now that I think about it, this $12 purchase at the downtown Minneapolis Marshalls may have to take the cake.

So I pose the question, whats the most random sports shirt or jersey you own?

Wonderful World of Golf Rules

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Image result for golf

AP – The rules have changed since Lee Ann Walker lasted played competitive golf. She found out the hard way.

Walker shot rounds of 85 and 74 at the Senior LPGA Championship at French Lick Resort in Indiana. That was before she realized players no longer can putt when their caddies have been standing directly behind them.

She had to add 42 penalty shots to her first round, turning that into a 127, and 16 more penalty shots for the second round, turning that into a 90…

She played the first round with Jackie Gallagher-Smith and Cathy Johnson-Forbes and said neither noticed her mistake. The second round, she played with Laura Baugh and Laura Shanahan Rowe. They did.

How nice of the Lauras. To point out Walker’s mistake “on 14 or 15,” as Walker recalled. At least it wasn’t a phone-a-friend calling in a rules violation from home. But still, enforcing a rule like this, in this manner, would make even Al Riveron blush. Worse, a rule like this probably would have prevented Happy Gilmore from winning the Waterbury Open, making “the tour,” and winning that Gold Jacket.

Image result for happy gilmore putting

At least Walker took the news better than I would have. [Her 127 score on round one still probably would have beaten me, too.] My clubs would have been at the bottom of the pond before I got back to my car. Maybe that’s why I don’t own clubs currently.

I’ve been unofficially retired from amateur golf for five years. I’m on strictly driving range and bachelor party circuits these days. Stories like this don’t really make me eager to go grab some clubs and drop $80, just to have some jackwagon course ranger constantly berate me and tell me I’m playing too slow.

The only desire I have to ever play golf again is if I’m on The Price is Right. I’m terrible at golf but would bet my mortgage I could make a Hole in One (or two).

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NBA Players “Silent Scourge” is a Lack of Sleep. How About the Balls On These Sleepy Millionaires?

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ESPN – Fatigue has long been a reality of life in the NBA, a league with teams that play 82 games in under six months and fly up to 50,000 miles per season — roughly 20,000 more miles each season than NFL teams and far enough to circle the globe twice. Over the 2018-19 season, the average NBA team played every 2.07 days, had 13.3 back-to-back sets and flew the equivalent of 250 miles a day for 25 straight weeks.

Some in the league, from players and coaches to training personnel, have begun to suspect that the toll extracted by the NBA grind — the combination of the sport’s physical demands, the circadian disruptions, the six to eight months of travel across time zones — is not fully appreciated..Still, despite the league’s best efforts — lengthening its schedule in recent years, reducing back-to-backs for five straight seasons (down to an average of 12.4 per team in the coming season), eliminating four-in-five stretches, reducing the nationally televised games that tip off at 10:30 p.m. ET, creating more rest days — sleep deprivation remains what one high-ranking league source intimately involved with player health calls “our biggest issue without a solution.”

“It’s the dirty little secret that everybody knows about.”

…”You ask anybody in the room,” [Tobias] Harris says. “The thing I talk about is sleep.

“I think in a couple years,” he says, “[sleep deprivation] will be an issue that’s talked about, like the NFL with concussions.”

I debated actually going with the word “scourge” in the headline because I had to look it up myself, but it was how ESPN described it and its just so dramatic, so over the top, that I had to include it. A scourge is “a person or thing that causes great trouble or suffering.” So the great “silent scourge” of the NBA thats causing so much great trouble or suffering is not getting enough sleep. I feel like Charlie when Mac and Dennis are unsuccessfully trying to explain to him whats going on in Israel. Oh I don’t understand? Why don’t you crack an egg of knowledge on me buddy?

Our grandparents had the great depression and world wars to struggle with, but NBA players are sleepy soo its kind of a wash in who had it worse.

Look I totally get that playing on back to back nights in different cities sucks. Playing til 10 pm and then having to jump on an airplane and not getting to your hotel until the middle of the night sucks. Not having 8 hours of sleep in general sucks. But you know what?

Now if we’re talking about this in the context of achieving peak athletic performance then fine, but thats not what this article is about.

Portland Trail Blazers guard CJ McCollum began taking naps in high school and seeking nine hours of sleep a night. And in the NBA, he gets into bed as early as possible. “Lack of sleep messes up your recovery, messes up how you play, your cognitive function, your mindset, how you’re moving on the court,” McCollum says. “Sleep is everything.”

When the hell did people have time to take naps in high school? You’re in school til 2:30 and then at practice til 5. I would have to assume that means sneaking in some REM during algebra class.

I am lucky enough to only have to work one job these days, but for years I worked as a bouncer at a bar in Boston. On school nights no less! Working til 1 or 2 in the morning and then driving home only to get up at 7 am the next day and take the T all the way back downtown to my soul crushing 9-5. Thats a fucking scourge buddy.

Most of America works multiple jobs and doesn’t get enough sleep. Can you imagine saying this to a mom with a newborn baby? She literally might murder you where you stand. So while not getting 8 hours of sleep sucks, I would gladly trade a few hours of sleep here and there for $20M annual contracts handed out to even average NBA players. Not to mention you get the whole summer off like a goddamn kindergarten teacher. Sorry guys, but I refuse to feel for ya here.