I cannot believe Samuel L. Jackson is 72-years-old, the man doesn’t look a day over 55. Granted, Samuel L. has been around forever and has been in pretty much everything (IMDB calls him a “highly prolific actor”) having appeared in over 100 films in his career. With that being said what are his Top 5 roles ever? A couple of rules here, I’m obviously only including the movies I’ve personally seen, but I must admit I am not a completionist so I have not seen every single one of Jackson’s movies. Also, I left off any roles where he is barely in the movie, as much as I wanted to include the smooth piano player Rufus from Kill Bill 2 who gets 43 seconds of screen time… Jackson talked about his favorite roles a couple years back, but let’s break down what we think his Top 5 roles of all time are below.
No. 5 – Coach Carter Ken Carter
Before these kinds of sad sack sports flicks turned into a genre of Made For TV movies, Jackson took a film that probably would have went straight to DVD if not for his performance. The biggest name in this movie besides him was Ashanti and a pre-“Step Up” Channing Tatum. So yea this movie was destined to be an MTV2 rerun, but Jackson turns it into a pretty legit movie about redemption, work ethic (or at the very least doing the bare minimum in school to pass), and triumph in the face of adversity.
No. 4 – Star Wars Mace Windu
Mace Windu is on this list almost entirely because of the story that the only reason he randomly has a purple light saber is because Samuel L. Jackson told George Lucas to do it. But seriously, Jackson brought an aura of cool that Star Wars, specifically the Jedi, lacked before him. Star Wars created groundbreaking characters like Darth Vader that became literal film archetypes, but aside from Han Solo who could you say was actually cool? Samuel L. Jackson reminded people that oh yea not every Jedi is a goodie two shoes, some of them are badass warriors. It’s just a shame Lucas didn’t let him drop some MF-bombs on Emperor Palpatine.
No. 3 – Django Unchained Stephen
Django Unchained is another excellent Tarantino movie in a long line of them, but it’s one that is absolutely gobbled up by the likes of Christoph Waltz, Jamie Foxx, and Leonardo DiCaprio. I wouldn’t fault you for forgetting Samuel L. Jackson was even in this movie if you haven’t seen it in a while. But upon closer review, I found Jackson’s role of Stephen higher on my list than I would have originally thought and it’s because he plays, as Entertainment Weekly dubbed it, an “unrepentant monster.” Something you don’t see Jackson, or any actor really, do a lot of. Back when the movie came out EW asked him about potential Academy Award hype and Jackson’s answer is why this role is so high on my list.
“Well, the point of that award is that you were an actor in a film who made a dynamic impact on the story with a memorable character. And would anyone else playing the part have been as impactful? That should be the question — did you do your job? Yes. Did I make you hate me? Yes. Did I inhabit the character full enough to make you believe that, and make you uncomfortable enough to make you hate me? Yes. And you feel guilty because then you want to see me die. I did what I was supposed to do for that film, which should be the criteria for voting or not voting.“
No. 2 – The Avengers (and every other Marvel movie) Nick Fury
You could argue that Nick Fury was basically just Samuel L. Jackson playing himself with an eye patch and a leather duster jacket, but that ignores the fact that he helped tie together the entire Marvel Cinematic Universe before the first movie was even off the ground. When he appears after the credits of Iron Man 1 it’s a complete shock that draws you in and gave you a sense that something very big was happening, even if you didn’t know what that was. Nick Fury has acted as the godfather of the whole Avengers team and the bonding agent in movies with lesser known characters and story lines like Captain Marvel. Nick Fury is the constant in the largest example of cinematic world building ever created.
No. 1 – Pulp Fiction Jules Winnfield
Jules Winnfield is one of the most quotable characters in any movie ever. Period. Full stop. Jules’ is so memorable for his unique internal conflict of being a gangster’s muscle/hitman while also having recently found God and trying to walk the righteous path. Jackson’s work here provides some all time acting like the diner standoff where he legitimately spawned an entire generation of Etsy businesses creating Bad Ass Motherfucker leather wallets. Then of course there’s the Bonnie Situation scene with Quentin Tarantino dropping in for a cameo before they call The Wolf, but most notably the biblical speech Jackson gives quoting Ezekiel 25:17 right before blowing some poor guy’s head off with his hand cannon. That’s why Pulp Fiction is our No. 1.
I saw this tweet going around the other day posing an excellent question: What is the greatest movie prop of all time? Maybe you’re going with Marty Mcfly’s self lacing shoes or perhaps George Clooney’s Batsuit with the nipples? Here are hands down the Top 5 movie props of all time.
5. Beatrix Kiddo’s Hattori Hanzo sword
A Hattori Hanzo sword is like a modern day Valyrian Steel sword, which didn’t make the cut because GOT isn’t actually a movie. Goddamn was Kill Bill a great movie though. Watching both 1 and 2 are worth the double feature binge if you’ve never seen them. Basically a Hattori Hanzo is the rarest, sharpest, and best kind of sword ever produced. “If on your journey you should encounter God, God will be cut.”
4. Darth Vader’s Lightsaber
Truly one of the most badass characters in cinematic history. There are dozens of Star Wars characters and their lightsabers to pick from and I almost went with Mace Windu’s purple saber or the double sided Darth Maul version, but it’s hard to beat the original bad guy.
3. Happy Gilmore’s Putter
Maybe it’s the white trash in me, but I’ve always loved the Happy Gilmore hockey stick turned putter. It’s practical too as Adam Sandler had to actually sink putts with it. The putter may not be regulation, but I’m not exactly on the PGA tour so I think I can sneak the extra club in my bag. Nothing would please me more than sinking a birdie putt on 18 after shooting in the three figures on the first 17.
2. Mjolnir
Sure I have the plastic replica and a Mjolnir keychain, but give me the real deal! I don’t expect the hammer to come when called like a Golden Retriever, but this is THE conversation piece to stick up on your mantle. I would be shocked and disappointed if Chris Hemsworth didn’t steal this prop after production on Endgame wrapped.
Vin Diesel’s 67 Pontiac GTO from XXX
Long before Samuel L. Jackson was even a twinkle in Nick Fury’s eye, this Vin Diesel store brand James Bond flick introduced us to the greatest movie prop of all time. XXX came out when I was 13 so obviously I was the exact target demo, but I also saw XXX 3: Return of Xander Cage in theaters with Papa Giorgio when I was 27 sooo…
Say what you want about this (delightful) movie, but if you don’t enjoy XXX you are someone who takes themselves entirely too seriously. Now lets get to the best part of the movie: the 1967 Pontiac GTO. This is just the sweetest ride these eyes have ever seen and I’m not even a car guy. This is the best (and most practical) movie prop of all time. For some reason I couldn’t find the scene where they unveil the GTO on YouTube in English so you’ll just have to make do with Spanish. De nada.
Dread it, run from it, destiny arrives all the same.
Despite having all 6 Infinity Stones at their disposal, Joe Musgrove and the Pirates are still in last place and 13 games out of the playoffs.
This is an A+ glove design though and just goes to show how much more exposure MLB could gain amongst younger viewers if they just lightened up a little bit. Obviously this glove would never fly in a real game, but Musgrove was allowed to break it out for Players Weekend. Normally Players Weekend is basically just an excuse for the MLB to act like a couple wild and crazy guys…
…by putting nicknames on the back of team jerseys.
That is of course unless you are a humorless stiff who hates fun like the Yankees’ Brett Gardner, who simply put “Gardner” on the back of his Players Weekend jersey.
He’s probably a fun guy to talk to at parties.
Anyways, if MLB would relax some of its stuffier rules, let players express themselves, and oh maybe chill out with the Gestapo social media policy that takes down every video that makes its way onto the internet, then they would be on to something. I will say, as bad as MLB is at social media, no one is worse than FIFA. I’ve only gotten two C&D’s in my Twitter career and they both came from FIFA after tweeting out videos of players scoring and celebrating. The horror.
Indiewire – In a new interview on MTV’s “Happy Sad Confused” podcast, cinematographer Robert Richardson reconfirmed Affleck’s Batman script was finished and not exactly beloved by everyone involved in the film’s development. Richardson was hired by Affleck to film his Batman standalone film…
As for what Affleck’s script entailed, Richardson revealed the Batman franchise was going to Arkham Asylum to dig into Bruce Wayne’s own insanity. The cinematographer said Affleck’s film would have showed “the darker side of Batman,” which is quite the statement given how brooding Christopher Nolan’s interpretation of the superhero was in his “Dark Knight” trilogy.
“Well, [Affleck] was going more into the insanity aspects,” Richardson said. “So I think you would’ve seen something a little darker than what we’ve seen in the past and more into the individual, who was inside Batman — what element may be sane and what element may actually not be sane. So he was entering into a little more of the Arkham, as you know, he’s going into where you keep everyone who was bad, everyone that shifted and Batman. And so that whole aspect was sort of, it was very fascinating to go to the darker side of Batman.”
Give me *that* movie. What the hell Warner Bros? Its like these studios and DC Comics just cannot get out of their own way. Now I don’t want to shit on the yet to be released Robert Pattinson Batman movie because who knows it could be awesome, but this Affleck script sounds way more interesting than rebooting Batman for the third time in a decade.
It’ll be hard to ever top The Dark Knight, which for my money is arguably the greatest superhero movie ever made because it doesn’t rely on CGI and dozens of characters.
At its core The Dark Knight is a crime thriller with a heavy focus on psychology and mental health. As much as I loved Christopher Nolan and Christian Bale’s version, I really enjoyed Ben Affleck’s take on the character. He was a much angrier, morally ambiguous, jaded, and more violent version of the Batman than we’d ever seen before.
Now who knows the real story behind why the Batfleck is no more, but there was always drama around his standalone film. Maybe starring, writing, and directing was too much for Affleck or maybe he said to hell with it when he realized he didn’t actually have the creative freedom he thought he would. Either way this movie was on life support for a long time before he officially retired as the caped crusader in January. This movie sounds like it could have been incredible though. Similar to The Dark Knight‘s exploration of psychology and mental health, but taken to the next level with the physical embodiment of Arkham Asylum. Theres just so much meat on the bones and so many directions they could have went with that entire idea. I literally own The Psychology of Batman book so I may be a bit biased in my opinion, but I know for a fact that we could have seen something seriously compelling with Affleck’s script. Not even just with the criminals, but with Bruce Wayne himself. You obviously have to be pretty fucked up to lurk around city rooftops at night fighting bad guys while dressed like a BAT. The Batman movies have never really explored that too much other than the typical backstory of Bruce’s parents being murdered in front of him. Batman Begins delves into that a bit, but its more of how he became Batman whereas this could have been why.
After the flame out that was Justice League, it seems DC has decided to explore individual stories in standalone flicks that aren’t actually connected. We’ve got the upcoming Joker coming out later this year, which is already getting some early Oscar buzz, and that movie reportedly will not be connected to the larger DCEU at all.
I don’t expect this Pattison Batman role to be teaming up with the Justice League any time soon either.
The problem DC always had was they were continuously rushing projects along despite poor vision/execution. They seemingly thought they could just slap together a couple of movies and catch up to Marvel despite the MCU’s painstaking, carefully laid plans. People forget that Marvel released five movies over the course of 4+ years before teaming everyone up in The Avengers. And to be honest, 3-4 of those movies kind of stunk. If The Avengers didn’t completely nail it we could have seen the MCU shuttered a LOT quicker than originally anticipated, which is why Thanos isn’t even referenced until Thor.
Whereas DC released Man of Steel in 2013, Batman vs Superman: Dawn of Justice in 2016 and then Wonder Woman in 2017, immediately followed up by Justice League five months later. World building this was not. It didn’t help that Man of Steel never even made hint of a larger world of heroes and then 3 years later it turns out Batman has been running shit for years right across a literal bay of water from Clark Kent so that always came off as a shoddy retcon. Oh and that movie made the unforgivable decision to cast Mark Zuckerberg as Lex Luther and had one of the most ridiculous convoluted plots with the dumbest turning point (which Snyder still defends) that I can remember seeing in a movie.
Batman vs Superman could have been so so good. The trailer and the visuals taken out of context from that movie are still gorgeous. Just the perception of Bruce Wayne that Superman is actually evil and he needs to destroy this god-like figure to protect the world is so intriguing.
Especially after 40 years of Superman being portrayed as this Eagle Scout who flies in to save the day. Buttt the movie itself was a microcosm of the DCEU’s overarching issues and ended up being kind of a mess.
Wonder Woman was actually pretty good and was probably the only reason Justice League faired as well as it did. Except Justice League was another disaster in terms of vision and execution. In a vacuum its fine, I watched it on a flight and it kept me entertained, but it jumps around, its dark then its humorous, the villain was terrible and forgettable, and it seemed more like a comic book artist’s wet dream than a major movie studio’s tentpole franchise. Obviously a lot of that is likely due to the film having to switch directors midway through production after the death of Zack Snyder’s daughter. Ironically enough The Avengers mastermind Joss Whedon took over, but this movie was an amalgam of bad ideas thrown together skating by on IP alone.
As much as we blog about the Bruins, and the Patriots, and grown men beating the hell out of each other in the octagon; at the end of the day I am an unabashed nerd. You may have picked up on that from the 20+ Marvel movie reviews we did this year or the 2,500 word dissertations on each Game of Thrones episode. Well, the highlight of every nerd’s year was this week with the annual E3 Convention showcasing all the latest and greatest in the world of video games. The Electronic Entertainment Expo is something on my bucket list as I’ll need to make the mecca to Cali for this event one year. Without further ado, here’s everything you may have missed from the conference.
Halo Infinite
I’ve had an on again off again relationship with Halo over the years due to its platform exclusivity. Back in the days of the original Halo I was a PS2 guy so I would play in my buddy’s dark basement with the chunk black controller. Then I got an Xbox360 and played Halo 1/2 remastered and Halo 4 (3 got lost in the shuffle). Then I moved onto PS4 out of spite after I got the red ring of death so I have not played a Halo game in a minute. So needless to say I don’t know what the hell is going on here, BUT if this game continues to look as awesome as it does already, I could be tempted to pick up the Xbox 5 or whatever the hell Project Scarlett name they ultimately call it.
Platform: Xbox One, Project Scarlett
Release Date: Holiday 2020
Final Fantasy VII Remake
I didn’t get into Final Fantasy until FFX, but obviously FFVII is one of the most popular games of all time. This remake is something they have been talking about for YEARS with it first being announced back in 2015. So while I’m not particularly hyped for it, it looks beautiful and is a great opportunity for people like me to play a classic updated.
Platform: PS4
Release Date: March 3, 2020
Marvel’s Avengers
This is a game that I’ve been very cautiously optimistic about because its a perfect concept for a video game, but there have been so so many bad superhero video games over the years. I know Spider-Man was a massive hit last year and the recent Batman games have been well reviewed, but I still cringe just thinking about the old N64 Superman game or anything that has to do with the Hulk. Theres been next to no information available about this game, but we got our first trailer at E3 this week and I like what I’m seeing. Sure it looks a little wonky because the studio didn’t want to pay the licensing rights to use the actual actors, but other than that it looks pretty awesome so far. What’s most exciting about this game is that we’ll have an ever expanding roster of Marvel characters allegedly. I don’t believe the Marvel movie rights of who they could and couldn’t use applies to video games, but even if they did, don’t forget that Marvel just re-acquired the X-Men. Plus they don’t have to worry about the overarching movie storylines so we could get characters like the Punisher, Daredevil and maybe Deadpool dropping in? But that might be something they tackle in Marvel Ultimate Alliance 3 instead…
Platform: PS4, Xbox One, Stadia, and PC.
Release Date: May 15, 2020
Pokemon Sword and Shield
Everything you thought you knew about the world of Pokémon is about to change…in a big way.
Here’s the latest on the exciting new adventure that awaits in #PokemonSwordShield!
This is something I am stoked for as I haven’t bought a Pokemon game in years, but have been quietly watching from the sidelines. I basically got to a point where I refused to buy another iteration of the Game Boy (because I’m an adult damnit) so I have been waiting, and waiting, for Pokemon to finally enter the world of 3D open world platform gaming. That has arrived with the introduction of Sword and Shield. Not to mention they’ve got a gigantic direwolf looking dog with a sword in its mouth? Just take my money right now.
BEND THE KNEE TO YOUR ONE TRUE KING, KEANU REEVES. I have to say I’m a bit of a Keanu hipster since I’ve been pumping his tires since I first saw The Matrix in 1999. The Matrix, Point Break, and John Wick are some of my favorite movies. It seems like out of nowhere Keanu has become the most beloved man in America and I totally get it (especially with all the stories of his generosity), but it is weird to see a guy I’ve been stanning for years all of a sudden become a mega celeb. Anyways, Cyberpunk looks pretty sweet. Its important to note that this footage shows exactly *zero* gameplay so lets not get too excited. We’ve all fallen for that too many times with Fallout 76, Destiny, Anthem, and No Mans Sky that show incredible hype footage only to release a subpar game.
Platform: PlayStation 4, Xbox One
Release Date: April 16, 2020
Fallout 76 (again)
Speaking of the most panned game of the year, Bethesda is doubling down on the half-assed cash grab they put out last year. For a franchise as beloved as Fallout that relies on single player experiences, open world exploration, character development, and in depth storylines to release a multi-player online only skeleton of a game was heresy to most fans. Well Bethesda said how about we add a battle royale Fortnite mode! Guys lets just accept the L and start working on Fallout 5.
Platform: PS4, Xbox One
Release Date: Coming soon…
Dragonball Z: Kakarot
I’m 30 years old and I still love Dragonball Z. Hell I’ve even debated getting a DBZ tattoo, so needless to say I will be picking up this little gem. Dragonball games have been pretty hit or miss over the years and Dragonball Fighter Z looked pretty slick, but I couldn’t see myself playing a side scrolling fighting game for that long. So for an RPG that looks awesome though and focuses on the storylines that we all (read: I) remember so fondly? Swipe. Swipe.
Platform: PS4, Xbox One
Release Date: Early 2020
The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild [unnamed sequel]
LETS GOOO. Breath of the Wild is truly one of the greatest games of all-time. It created a massive open world that you could literally do anything and everything. Infuriatingly frustrating at times, but fun as all hell once you figured out what you were doing. So to hear about a direct sequel to the first open world Zelda game has me sweating. I had heard rumors that Nintendo was going to re-use the Breath of the Wild engine so they could pump out a sequel quicker, which I am more than ok with. Use the exact same mechanics, reskin the game to create some new maps and environments, and give us some new storylines and we are in business. Unfortunately there was no release date given whatsoever so this game could be a ways off…
Platform: Nintendo Switch
Release Date: Currently “in development”
The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening
I missed a lot of the earlier Zelda games as I was a bigger Sonic, Mortal Kombat, and Pokemon guy before getting baptized by fire with Majora’s Mask. So games like Link’s Awakening were never really on my radar, which was originally a Game Boy title. The graphics of this updated version are gorgeous and the gameplay is clever as hell where it gives you the same Game Boy birds eye view with an updated flair. Very excited to check this one out.
Platform: Nintendo Switch
Release Date: September 20, 2019
Luigi’s Mansion 3
This is another franchise I missed entirely since I never had Game Cube or Wii. I’m still shocked that Nintendo hasn’t opened up an e-shop to download, or at the very least rent, some of their former classics. I know they did it on Wii and as Papa G says, Nintendo basically just tricks people into buying the same game 4 times. While I did miss the first two Luigi Mansions, I’m sure I’ll be able to figure it out. Either way this looks like another entertaining Nintendo romp and gives Luigi some much deserved shine.
Obvious Spoiler Alert: If you haven’t caught up on Season 8 of Thrones yet come back later.
The Mad Queen has arrived. The penultimate episode of Game of Thrones final season kept the promise that so many seasons before it had; delivering the biggest blow right before the finale. An absolute spectacle for the ages as Khaleesi turns full heel and embraces the role of The Mad Queen as she literally burned Kings Landing to the ground. I was leaning forward in my chair in suspense for about 40 minutes straight. What started out as violent efficiency by Khaleesi turned into legitimate terrorism as the Dragon Queen became the very thing she vowed not to be; a tyrant. How did we get here?
“Alright then, let it be fear,” Daenerys says to Jon Snow after he rejects her affection on Dragonstone.
This is a central theme that the last Targaryen has struggled with for years, but most explicitly in Season 8. She has continuously walked the line of being the beloved savior, freeing slaves, being the voice for those without a voice, and taking what she wants simply because she can. With great power comes great responsibility and after seven seasons of Khaleesi balancing that responsibility while she became only more powerful, she ultimately decides to throw it all away in the name of rage and revenge.
“I don’t think she decided ahead of time that she was going to do what she did. And then she sees the Red Keep, which is, to her, the home that her family built when they first came over to this country 300 years ago,” showrunner DB Weiss said on the Inside the Episode. “It’s in that moment on the walls of King’s Landing, when she’s looking at that symbol of everything that was taken from her, when she makes the decision to make this personal.”
The sped up arrival of Daenerys unhinged has been a bit too convenient for my liking, but the show has been hinting at this for years.
“I’m not my father,” Dany says to Ser Barristan in S5E2 to which Barristan replies: “The Mad King gave his enemies the justice he thought they deserved and each time it made him feel powerful and right. Until the very end.”
All of Dany’s closest friends and most trusted confidants are all gone. She’s too strong for Jon Snow, as Varys puts it, and Tyrion has lost her trust after repeated lapses in judgment. Barristan, Jorah, and Missandei were the only three people who were ever really able to temper Dany’s worst impulses. And all three are dead.
“I am not here to be Queen of the ashes,” Dany says in S7E2 to her small council when discussing the best way to take Kings Landing.
Oh and lets not forget about these gems from Season 2.
To quote another pop culture behemoth in Avengers: Endgame: Khaleesi “did exactly what she said she was going to do.”
My only complaint with this storyline is the same critique I’ve had about this entire season; the pacing. In a matter of 5 episodes Daenerys has gone from the savior of Westeros, the liberator from tyrants, and the beloved Khaleesi to the Mad Queen? She has suffered some tragic losses in Jorah, Missandei, and her two dragons, but to use that as justification for destroying an entire city and burning thousands of innocent citizens alive is a pretty big leap.
With that being said, George RR Martin’s books have become absolute must reads just to see how the godfather handles the same storylines.
Whats even more shocking is how Khaleesi has turned into the type of person she hated the most (arrogant, entitled, and cruel) just like….her late brother Viserys Targaryen. She has been shattered by her inability to gain the love and support of Westeros, despite quite literally saving the country from death. To her dismay, it is Jon Snow whom the people still love and champion. It is a stunning parallel with Viserys as Khaleesi has become just like her brother (who was killed for those same qualities).
Every time a Targaryen is born the gods flip a coin. Well it seems like the coin landed on the wrong side.
— Robert of House Glasgow (@therobkabob) May 13, 2019
One of the most incredible scenes in the episode and really the series was Khaleesi finally unleashing her dragon’s power to take out her enemies singlehandedly. It was glorious to see, if not a little inconsistent. Khaleesi *easily* takes out a hundred ships and just as many Scorpions after losing a dragon to just one of those pesky jumbo crossbows in the previous episode.
I understand she was taken by surprise somehow (she forgot about the Iron Fleet according to the showrunners…) in Episode 4, but thats just not great writing. Too often the end has dictated the circumstances required to get there, which has become a problem primarily since the show has passed the books. Without Martin’s elaborate game plan to lead the way, Benioff and Weiss have had to piece key events together with various plot devices. Just imagine the damage she could have done with 2 if not 3 dragons?
One of the deeper cuts were the various Wildfire explosions going off throughout the city as Khaleesi lit up Kings Landing. Aerys Targaryen’s old Wildfire stash was still buried underneath the city, going off like fireworks in the trunk of your car that you forgot about.
Again, we’ve been building to this for quite some time. Go back to Khaleesi’s vision she saw in Season 2 in Quarth at the House of the Undying because this is incredible foreshadowing, intentional or not.
Winter never came for King’s Landing, but Khaleesi did.
Sansa Was Right
Something I’ve been saying for a while now is what if Sansa wasn’t just being a distrustful or jealous sister? What I wrote last week:
“Sansa just does not trust Khaleesi and maybe she sees something that everyone else is blind to because they either love Khaleesi, they admire her, or they fear her. Sansa has none of those emotions towards the Dragon Queen so maybe its more than just being spiteful; maybe she really doesn’t believe she’ll be a good ruler…So maybe we need to start treating her disdain for Khaleesi as more than just unnecessary drama.”
What if she truly saw something in the Dragon Queen that unsettled her? Sansa is arguably the best politician in all of Westeros. Trained by Littlefinger, she survived Joffrey, Cersei, and Ramsay Bolton all while uniting the north and saving Jon at the Battle of the Bastards with the Knights of the Vale. She was often referred to as the key to the north to boot. Well after “The Bells” it sure seems like Sansa had Dany pegged from day one.
RIP to Varys
Varys, as always, was the only one that saw the big picture. He could see Khaleesi losing her grasp on reality/sanity/decency and tried to get ahead of it, but nobody wanted to listen. They all saw the same signs, but everyone was blinded for their own reasons. Tyrion is the Hand of the Queen, and Jon Snow loved her but more importantly he swore himself and the North to her (that damn Stark nobility). Varys cared only for the Realm aka the common people and Varys knew the people were screwed.
Ring the Bells
The aptly titled episode refers to the bells that ring in Kings Landing when the city has surrendered. It means the war has been won. Well when Tyrion repeatedly says they need to stop the attack if they hear the bells ringing I became suspicious. Would Khaleesi think that maybe the bells are a trap of sorts by Cersei? Not really. Actually she just didn’t care and merely used the bells as the soundtrack to her rampage.
Thrones offered zero character development for these guys and now we know why. They didn’t even make it out of the locker room before Khaleesi came out of the goddamn walls to blow them away.
The Cleganebowl
It would be hard to do justice to anything that fans have been clamoring for after 7+ seasons. While I don’t think this was the amazing sword battle we all expected, it was visually stunning. The shot of the two brothers fighting on a crumbling stair case in the Red Keep as Drogon flies behind them burning the city to the ground was incredible.
This battle royale also showed just how indestructible The Mountain really was, something thats been apparent since his resurrection, but never really deeply explored. Not to quote the Avengers too many times in this Thrones blog, but Sandor my man:
The Hound saving Arya’s life by talking her out of a suicide mission for vengeance was a rare emotional moment for this character. Arya’s the only one he’s ever really had any affection for and vice versa so he’s the only one that can snap her out of it and send her away.
Arya
Arya has repeatedly said “I’m going to kill the queen.” About halfway through that episode I realized she’s rarely said I’m going to kill Cersei; only “the queen” specifically. Well, once Arya got caught in that hell fire and saw more and more innocents getting scorched it became pretty clear to me that Arya was always going to kill the queen, maybe just not the one she thought.
Fine, you want more foreshadowing?
And I looked, and behold a pale horse
and his name that sat on him was Death
— Drake France Jaculina (@DrakeJaculina) May 13, 2019
Khaleesi:
Don’t be surprised when Benioff and Weiss tell composer Ramin Djawadi to take a few plays off in order to let Arya do her work with Coldplay playing in the background.
Something that has been in my opinion shockingly underutilized is Arya’s game of faces. We literally spent multiple seasons learning about this and how deadly the faceless men are. Arya has become one of the most lethal killers in Westeros and did take out the entire Frey House, but since then we’ve seen zero use of this pretty rare talent. Will we finally see Arya break it out in the series finale? Could she kill someone like Grey Worm in order to take his face and get close enough to the Queen? We’ll see, but this is another thread that seems to have been forgotten if not.
Starks Run Deep
Also, I’m not sure if this is intentional or not, but Jon and Arya have literally become the same person. It’s like that Progressive Insurance commercial about becoming your parents. The long hair with the top knot, the long leather outfit; they’ve all become Ned Stark.
Cersei and Jaime
I’ve seen a lot of hate on Twitter about the way they handled Cersei’s death, but it did a pretty good job of humanizing one of the most evil characters in the show in just a couple of scenes. Again, pacing of the character arc was poor, but what did people want? For Cersei to stand on the roof and give one last defiant speech before getting lit up by Drogon?
At the end, Cersei sounded a lot like Janos Slynt at the Battle of Castle Black. Someone who is in way over their head and trying to convince themselves that the inevitable is not actually coming as they mindlessly babble in the face of certain death
Another pacing issues though is how they handled Jaime’s last two episodes and his ultimate death. I think we all knew Jaime would either die trying to save Cersei or trying to stop her, but to introduce the entire Brienne love storyline, the immediate reversal, his capture and release by Tyrion, followed by his frantic effort to get to Cersei was the definition of rushed.
How does the King in the North handle Khaleesi now? Cersei blew up the sept and killed a couple hundred people and we were all shocked; Khaleesi just burned down the entire god damn city. He can’t openly challenge her because of the aforementioned dragon, the Unsullied and the Dothraki, who seem pretty jazzed up about destroying said city. It seems like marriage is probably off the table as well. So its going to take quite the coup to unseat Dany from the Iron Throne at this point. Even if Arya or someone is able to kill the Dragon Queen, this could devolve into a bloody and meaningless civil war real quick.
Bran
We are now down 80 minutes away from Bran becoming the No. 1 in Red’s Power Rankings of Most Useless Characters of All Time. He has said that he’s not really Bran anymore and that he doesn’t want anymore, but did we really build this guy up for 7 seasons just to have him be the know it all grandpa in the corner?
I can’t believe we are now just 6 days away from the last episode in Game of Thrones history. I am shook. I will be an emotional wreck next weekend so don’t take it personally when I ghost any and all forms of communication. How does this all end? Will Khaleesi rule unopposed with fire and blood? Will the North finally overthrow the rulers in Kings Landing? Could Jon Snow aka Aegon Targaryen possibly take Drogon for himself? Will Jon finally change the narrative about Stark men in the capital? So many questions so little time.
As we all know though, when you play the Game of Thrones, you either win or you die.
11 years. It’s been more than a decade since Tony Stark “built this in a cave with a box of scraps.” Avengers: Endgame is officially in theaters and I’ve been hiding from Twitter for the past week, minus a few ribbings at the expense of Mr. John Tavares and the Toronto Chokealeafs. Endgame is the culmination of everything in the MCU, a definitive end for many of the characters we’ve been watching since the days of George W.
As a final installment of the The 300s Marvel Cinematic Rewind, we wanted to touch base on the films of Phase Three that we haven’t covered yet, which also now apparently ends with Spider-Man: Far From Home. (Make up your mind, Kevin Feige!) So let’s get into it.
Dr. Strange
Giorgio: To be honest, Dr. Strange did nothing for me. I love Cumberbatch, but this film to me just seemed too much of a Christopher Nolan knockoff. The film is almost a literal combination of Batman Begins and Inception. One of these was good enough for me. 5/10
Red: This movie was a trip and one I did not expect to enjoy. I punted on it for so long that I actually ended up watching it for the first time on Netflix. I have to admit though I really enjoyed it. As Kyle mentions above it pretty much is like someone threw the scripts of Batman Begins and Inception together, but I loved both of those movies so it was right up my alley. Cumberbatch is excellent as the smarmy Dr. Strange and a really solid addition to the Avengers. 7/10
Guardians of the Galaxy 2
Giorgio: I liked it, but wasn’t nearly as good as the original. It was also really depressing. I’ll take as much Rocket as possible though. Bradley Cooper is an actor’s actor. 7/10
Red: I know Kyle is a bigger Guardians fan than I am, but I just could not get into GOTG2. The music as always was excellent (like the opening scene featuring Mr. Blue Sky), Rocket steals just about every scene he’s in, but I hated the “Ego is a planet” storyline and I’m a big Kurt Russell guy. But with all the aforementioned factors propping it up, this is still an entertaining flick. 7/10
Spider-Man: Homecoming
Giorgio: This movie was incredible. First Spider-Man I’ve liked since probably the original with MTV Best Kiss Winner Tobey Maguire. Tom Holland is a perfect Peter Parker, and the film does a great job of not taking itself too seriously. Shoutout to Michael Keaton as Vulture, essentially playing Birdman twice within the span of a few years. 8/10. Also, Aunt May 10 out of 10.
Red: Kyle described it in the best way possible; Tom Holland is a perfect Peter Parker. Michael Keaton was a kickass villain in a truly surprising twist and a legitimately frightening Vulture. Oh and Aunt May is a rocket. 9/10
Thor: Ragnarok
Giorgio: Possibly my favorite film of Phase Three. After two boring as hell solo films, Ragnarok takes a completely new approach to a stale franchise and gives it new life. It was hilarious, weird, and charming all at the same time. Tessa Thompson is a pleasure to watch on screen. Oh, and Jeff Goldblum. Horniest/smoothest man in Hollywood. 9.5/10
Red: This was one of the best comic book movies ever because it not only had top notch popcorn flick action, but it also was very self aware in how ridiculous it was (i.e. the opening scene/rock montage). Ragnarok also managed to work in Hulk perfectly without Marvel having to go out on a limb on ANOTHER Hulk standalone movie, despite how many people wanted a true Planet Hulk movie. I’ve always been partial to Thor despite it not being the strongest MCU trilogy (neither is Iron Man), but Thor 3 kicks all the asses and sets us up nicely for Infinity War, which starts minutes after Ragnarok ends. 9/10
Black Panther
Giorgio: Had zero idea what to expect, but came out really enjoying it. Great cast, great story. Michael B. Jordan is one of the best actors currently working. Also made over a billion dollars, so no surprises how universally liked this movie is. 9/10
Red: Same as Kyle I had zero idea what to expect out of this movie. Chadwick Boseman was pretty badass in Civil War so I knew they had a shot, but Michael B. Jordan stole the goddamn show as, in my opinion, the best villain in the MCU. 8.5/10
Avengers: Infinity War
Giorgio: For a film that has about 50 main characters, they did a great job not making the plot stroke-inducing to follow. Thanos finally shows his ass after a decade of sending his minions to inevitably just do it himself. We get a great Peter Dinklage cameo, always a pleasure to see him. It was great to finally see the beginning of the end. 8/10
Red: Bravo! Bravo! One of the few movies I made sure to see opening weekend because you have about a day before Twitter eggs ruin the movie for you and about a week before Yahoo just straight up starts posting spoilers in the headlines. As Kyle said this movie did an incredible job balancing dozens and dozens of characters that you legitimately cared about as the world building of Kevin Feige really started to pay dividends. This movie could have been 4 hours long and I wouldn’t have moved an inch. 9/10
Ant-Man and the Wasp
Giorgio: Fuck this movie. 2/10
Red: Very forgettable. All I remember is the villain that can phase through walls, yet is slowly dying. Also, if we’re being honest I’ve always disliked Evangeline Lilly for how she cucked Jack on LOST, but I admit thats not exactly fair. Paul Rudd is a treat to watch per usual and the movie introduces the Quantum Realm which I think we all expect to be one of the keys to Endgame. So decent movie, but very forgettable. 6/10
Giorgio: I….never saw this movie. Guilty as charged. I’m sure it was swell though, right? Nothing like shoehorning in a last minute character a month before the grand finale. At least I heard there’s an orange cat in it named Goose. Rating N/A
Red: Unlike Kyle, I paid 14 of my hard earned Schrute Bucks to go see this last weekend because I didn’t want to be completely lost when a Deus Ex Machina write in comes out of nowhere to save the day in Endgame. While I was less than excited going into this move (I just got a very Green Lantern vibe with the fighter pilot turned super hero with bad CGI), it wasn’t bad. Nothing great, nothing terrible. A de-aged Samuel L. Jackson (good CGI) carries the movie, but Jude Law is a great character/foil in Capt. Marvel. Some hamhanded naming conventions (Mar-Vel? Really?) and the lazy explanation for where Poochie, er I mean Captan Marvel, has been for the past 20 years leads to an OK, but highly skippable cinema experience. 6.5/10
Now I just need to make it to Sunday afternoon without someone spoiling Endgame for me. Do what I did kids, mute anything and everything related to Avengers on Twitter and stay off the news sites. We’re in the endgame now…
Captain America: Civil War (2016) is one of my favorite Marvel movies and I think a lot of people agree with that sentiment. My worry going back and watching Cap 3 for the first time in years was that it would just be me remembering another OK movie through rose colored glasses because of the incredible airport scene. Fear not, despite yet another convoluted villain character, this movie still kicks ass all these years later. As it should, considering this movie really made up for the disappointing Avengers 2. They should have called this movie Avengers 2.5. It also has the distinction of giving Captain America hands down the best complete trilogy in all of the MCU. Iron Man 2 and 3 leave much to be desired. Thor 2 was not great, and Guardians 3 is TBD. Now lets get to it!
Oooooh I love cold opens.
It’s 1991 and Winter Solider is back. It seems like he’s being tortured by the Russians, but after a series of code words uttered wake him up you see he’s basically a brainwashed spy for the Russki’s. They send him out on a retrieval mission and he whacks someone driving a caddy and takes some blue goo from their trunk. Title card.
We cut to Scarlet Witch, Captain America, Black Widow, and Falcon scouting out a scene in Nigeria for a mission which quickly turns into an all out firefight
“Wanda, just like we practiced,” Cap says to Scarlet Witch, implying the training thats been taking place before this.
But, wait its not just some faceless mercs, it’s Crossbones who is already an established villain apparently, but someone I again had to look up to remember his story. For anyone thats forgot like me he played Brock Rumlow in Captain America 2 as a sleeper cell agent for HYDRA. Welp Crossbones tries to suicide bomb Cap, only to be temporarily stopped by Scarlet Witch, who in an effort to levitate him to safety accidentally blows up half a building.
And thats how you get the Sokovia Accords.
Holy christ they CGI’d Tony Stark’s de-aged face onto a teenager’s body.
Tony Stark gets confronted by a woman who blames Stark for her son’s death in….you guessed it, Sokovia.
And thats how you get the Sokovia Accords.
The Secretary of State drops in on Avengers HQ to lecture the team about all the collateral damage they’ve caused with literally no repercussions.
It raises an interesting question though, what gives the Avengers the right to operate with “unlimited power and no supervision,” as the Secretary puts it?
We are introduced to Helmut Zimo, who is another HYDRA agent on a mission. Zimo is torturing another old Russian general. When he asks how Zimo found him he directly references the gigantic Wiki Leaks dump Black Widow did at the end of Winter Soldier.
This is where the split between the team members of the Avengers begins. Tony Stark the rogue “genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist” immediately opts to surrender his rights and sign the Sokovia Accords. This basically gives the Avengers the United Nations for a boss, which military lifer Captain America is just unwilling to do. It’s quite the role reversal we see here and drives the wedge between the team when half of them sign and half of them don’t.
Sokovia Accords ceremony gets bombed to high hell and King T’Chaka, of one Wakanda, is killed in the blast, which we will learn later leads to the introduction of another hero.
But who would bomb the Sokovia Accords? Oh well the news immediately identifies the culprit as one Bucky Barnes. That took 5 minutes, but sure. We’re then introduced to the first incident with the Sokovia Accords exposing why it’s such a pain in the ass. By not signing the document, Captain America isn’t allowed to interfere so he and his crew are officially outlaws at this point.
Cap going to help his friend out turns into Cap aiding and abetting a wanted terrorist realll quick though. He nearly gets out of it unscathed too until a goddamn Black Panther drops out of the clouds to stop them. United Nations sanctioned War Machine joins the party and congratulates Cap for now being a criminal before all three are arrested. Oh and we learn that Black Panther is in fact King T’Chaka’s son, T’Challa.
“I’m not getting that shield back am I,” Cap asks.
“Technically it’s the government’s property,” Black Widow shoots back.
This movie has a lot of parallels to X-Men 3: The Last Stand. As bad as that movie was it’s how this storyline could very easily turn, with the world calling for the eradication of Mutants and the Mutants fighting back. Here we have Tony trying to stave off “something worse” than signing a document.
Hey look its Zimo who somehow works for the government and is the exact guy interrogating Bucky Barnes. K? Zimo uses an EMP to knock out all the power in the building so he can say the code words to turn Bucky back into the Russian spy he was back in 1991. But, before we get into that, maybe War Machine can explain what the hell happened with that EMP?
Bucky is in brainwashed mode yet again and nearly kills everyone before Cap is able to knock him out before he can escape. He snaps out of it and explains to Cap how he got his brain scrambled again and what these guys might be looking for exactly.
“Because I’m not the only Winter Soldier,” Bucky says as a flashback shows exactly what that Blue Goo was from the opening of the movie. A group of psychos Bucky refers to as the most elite death squad in Hydra history were also injected with that serum, but they all seem to be pretty unhinged.
Tony Stark is officially given an assignment to bring in the rogue Avengers, but without half their team, Hulk, and Thor to back them up it’s time to do a little recruiting.
We head to Queens to meet the best Peter Parker ever put on film, who Tony quickly takes a liking to and invites him to Germany for a little project. Cut to Hawkeye who’s come out of “retirement” to bust Scarlet Witch out of house arrest, which takes a little duel with Vision to do so. Black Widow recruits Black Panther and Cap hits up Agent Peggy’s niece (whom he also macks on) to get back his shield and Falcon’s suit. And to round out the crew we got a starstruck Ant-Man meeting Cap and the rest of the rogue Avengers.
Paul Rudd should be in every one of these movies from here on out.
Tony and his crew of War Machine, Black Widow, Black Panther, Spider-Man, and Vision show up to shut that shit down. Let the Battle Royale begin.
Most of it’s all fun and games with some cheeky one liners, ya know except for Rhodes getting paralyzed. Other than that though, it’s all a pretty good time before Cap and Bucky escape and head to Russia to figure out WTF is going on. HYDRA winter soldier death squad, sleeper cell evil scientists?
The rest of Cap’s crew is on lockdown in the “max security underwater super pokey” as Tony describes it. He seems to be realizing this whole Sakovia Accords thing may have been a bad idea.
Tony learns of Zemo and with a tip from Falcon heads to Berlin, which don’t ya know is exactly where Bucky and Cap are headed. Zemo finds the old HYDRA lab in Berlin and locates the other winter soldiers saved on ice.
In a change of heart Tony realizes what Cap has been trying to do this whole time and joins forces with him.
Now this is where this movie gets weird. We finally see those other winter soldiers, but Zemo has already killed them all? So this whole thing was all a ploy to get the Avengers here? Bombing the UN, framing Bucky Barnes, killing innocent people for what?
“An empire toppled by its enemies can be rebuilt, but one that crumbles from within, thats dead forever,” Zemo says.
Zemo plays the security cam footage of Tony Stark’s parents not actually dying in a car crash, but getting straight up murdered by Bucky Barnes all those years ago. And it turns out Captain America knew the whole time.
Welp, there goes Tony’s renewed alliance with Cap and Buck. Blind with rage Tony will stop at nothing to kill Bucky now, even if it means going through Cap. After some serious hand to hand combat, it seems like Iron Man is in some deep shit, but with a blast from his goddamn chest piece Tony blows off Bucky’s metal arm.
Turns out Zemo’s family was killed in the shitshow that was Sokovia. Knowing he couldn’t kill the Avengers himself, he plotted to have them destroy each other. Black Panther apprehends Zemo before he can kill himself meanwhile Cap and Ton continue to beat the hell out of each other. Cap gets the upperhand and Tony drops a real heart wrenching quote that forces him to leave his shield.
Captain America goes full rogue and busts his half of the Avengers out of super max prison and leaves Tony with a promise, and a flip phone, that if he ever needs him he’ll be there.
Mid credits scene: Cap and Bucky are in Wakanda as Bucky decides being frozen once again is the best thing for everyone until they can figure out whats up. Oh and these guys have quite the technology don’t they?
Post credits scene:
This movie absolutely holds up and is one of the best of the entire MCU. It doesn’t really advance the overall plot of the Infinity Stones or the impending threat from Thanos, but this is a popcorn flick to beat all popcorn flicks. Captain America: Civil War is like when you finally get to open all your presents on Christmas Day and play with all your toys at once.
I have a hard time coming to terms with this movie. Avengers: Age of Ultron is a strange crossroads for the MCU. The film has some great moments and sets up a ton of what is to come in Phase 3, but just tends to stumble over itself constantly with some laughable choices and poor pacing. Even though it is the 11th movie in the MCU, it is the first direct sequel to The Avengers which obviously comes with built-in expectations. Here’s a quick re-cap for those that need a refresher.
Avengers: Age of Ultron suffers from the same problem as most of the Phase 2 films. They all sort of feel like filler. Phase 1 was able to build excitement from the promise that we were about to see all our heroes on the big screen together for the first time. Flash-forward to Phase 2 and we have more of a “been there, done that” mentality. I’ve seen them assemble, so now what? Phase 2 promised us a new direction, the lead up to the Infinity Stone plot line. So what do our heroes do in the meantime? The answer is, not much.
Ultron in itself is a plot device designed to stall. You have a self-made threat, created by Tony that is the newest danger to the existence of mankind. James Spader does fine with the character, but Ultron’s presence alone is just a stop-gap until Thanos shows up. The Infinity Stone plot line is at least front and center, with several references to the stones encountered so far and Thor claiming this all isn’t happening by chance and that there must be someone manipulating them from afar. Very astute observation, Thor.
The film does give us some new characters, most notably Vision and Scarlett Witch. Vision, who is essentially a demi-god, is a solid addition to the team. The character is played by Paul Bettany, who is best known in the MCU as the voice of Jarvis. It is kind of crazy to think just how well thought out things are behind the scenes at Marvel. Kudos.
There’s a ton that bothers me in this movie though. Thor’s lightning pool scene. Quicksilver dodging bullets all movie long to just get a shot a thousand times and die. Hawkeye having a wife and kids just hanging out at home. All things designed to distract us that this plot isn’t really advancing.
It’s tough to follow up one of the most successful movies of all time in The Avengers. Director Joss Whedon famously exited Marvel Studios after this film because it stressed him out too much. Luckily at this point we were only a year away from Captain America: Civil War, which is essentially Avengers 2.5 and feels like a more natural place to take these characters after the events of the first Avengers movie. Overall, Ultron is very meh.
More than any other Marvel film, the first two Thor movies require so much explanation right out of the gates. Theres definitely a lot going on, but it’s never a great start when the first 5 minutes of the movie require an Anthony Hopkins voiceover to explain the background. Especially after we’ve already met Thor and the whole crew just 2 years prior.
I haven’t watched Thor 2 since I saw it in theaters in 2013. All I remembered about this movie was that all kinds of stuff got destroyed in London. Thats it.
Before we get into the review though I have to point out one thing. THANK GOD THEY FIXED THOR’S EYEBROWS. I mentioned it in my review of Thor 1, but it’s something that bothered me for a decade because I could never quite put my finger on what it was.
Thor 1
Thor 2
Okay now that thats been addressed we can move on amicably.
So we begin with Loki being sentenced to a lifetime of prison in the Asgardian tombs for his crimes in Thor 1 and The Avengers.
Thor drops into save the day on another battle that his team is fighting for some reason or another. Apparently after the bifrost was destroyed (its fixed now) all the other realms rebelled for some reason so the Asgardians are trying to get all nine realms to bend the knee once again. In a common theme in this movie, it doesn’t really matter why.
Back on Earth Jane (Natalie Portman) is in London investigating science stuff (again doesn’t matter why) when she stumbles upon a rift in dimensions of some sort. Gravity is all wonky and they discover a wormhole of sorts when they throw trash, bricks, and car keys into the portal only to have them disappear entirely. Jane then gets sucked into one of these wormholes and comes into contact with a dark force. Doing so appears to have awoken the Dark Elves that Thor’s grandfather banished so many years ago.
It’s only when Thor goes to talk with Heimdall and asks about Jane do they realize somethings wrong; Heimdall can’t see her. So Thor bombs down to London to check on her. When the cops show up and try to arrest Jane for trespassing she goes Super Saiyan and nearly blows the guy away. Unsure of what the hell is going on Thor takes her back to Asgard for help. Odin recognizes this dark force as the Aether, which his voiceover from the beginning of the film explains how the Dark Elves weaponized thousands of years ago.
“Their leader, Malekith, made a weapon out of that darkness, it was called the Aether. While the other relics often appear as stones, the Aether is fluid, and ever changing. It changes matter into dark matter, and seeks out host bodies, drawing strength from their life force.”
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; Asgard has the absolute WORST security in all of the MCU. In each of the Thor movies a villain sneaks into Asgard somehow undetected and sets off an explosion. In. every. single. movie. In this instance, one of the Dark Elves poses as a prisoner being transported to Asgard Jail. Anddd about 10 minutes later this Dark Elf breaks out (with an explosion) and starts a full scale prison riot.
“It is as if they resent being in prison,” one of Thor’s warriors hilariously quips.
Heimdall spotting an invisible ship trying to sneak into Asgard and taking it down with a nothing but a couple of daggers is low key the best scene in the movie.
Thanks to the prison riot distraction the Dark Elf faux prisoner is able to knock out the Asgardian castle’s defenses so Malekith and his army can roll right up to the front door. He’s looking for the Aether, which currently lives inside Natalie Portman.
Now in return for helping hide Natalie Portman from Malekith, Thor’s mom is rewarded with a sword through the back. Thor chases Malekith and the dark elves out of Asgard. With their defenses destroyed Oden opts to wait for the intruders to return leaving Asgard and its people as sitting ducks.
Thor doesn’t exactly agree with his father and concocts a plan to use Jane as bait to draw Malekith out of hiding. With the bifrost closed and the Tesseract locked away, Thor needs a little help sneaking off Asgard.
Quick aside: Scottish actors have an absolute lock on these Viking roles as the Mrs. sniped Game of Thrones actor Clive Russell as one of Oden’s Asgardian generals, who is best known for playing the Blackfish.
I understand that Viking culture is Viking culture, but there are a lot of similarities to Game of Thrones in this movie. Welp, turns out the director of Thor 2, Alan Taylor, has also directed several episodes of Thrones. Small world.
Anyways, with a little help from Sif and the Warriors Three, Thor is able to get off Asgard alongside Loki and Jane.
Back on Earth: Another annoying thing about this movie is that Professor Erik Selvig is legitimately crazy the entire movie, running around naked at one point before getting arrested,
only to become completely normal again in the final act of the movie. The only explanation given is his quip “I’ve had a God in my brain, I don’t recommend it” and him throwing out a bag of prescription pills he’s been popping. I guesss Loki’s mind control from The Avengers is having some residual effects, but I don’t know. Again, doesn’t really matter why.
Time to science.
Now that Thor and Loki are on the Dark World, they need to defeat Malekith and destroy the Aether. Loki breaks out some A+ trickery in the final 30 minutes here stabbing his brother and chopping off Thor’s hand as a ploy to catch Malekith off guard as he pulls the Aether from Jane. (This whole movie has a very X-Men 3: Dark Phoenix vibe to it and thats not a good thing.) Except it doesn’t really work. Malekith takes the Aether and jets while Loki dies protecting Thor, or so we’re led to believe.
Stuck on this random Dark World with no way home Marvel introduces the most blatant deus ex machina that I’ve ever seen. Remember that random portal Jane and friends were throwing trash into in the beginning of the movie? Welp it’s a direct gateway from London to the random Dark World cave that Thor and Jane are in right now!
It’s not really until the end of the movie that I even understood what Malekith’s motives are and why the final battle is in London. Basically all nine realms are converging and when that happens it’s like a massive solar eclipse. It also gives him the opportunity to bring darkness (destroy?) all of the realms at once. Bringing it back to the heyday of the dark elves, who actually ruled the universe before Thor’s grandfather defeated them. Well the center point for this whole convergence is Greenwich, London.
I’m shocked they didn’t go with the Powerman 5000 soundtrack for the final scene of the movie when worlds literally collide.
Final battle between Thor and Malekith ensues. Thor defeats the bad guy and contains the Aether.
A nice twist at the end though as Thor goes to tell his father he will refuse the throne and as he walks away we see that it is actually Loki posing as Oden!
Mid credits scene: We are introduced to The Collector for the first time and it’s revealed that the Aether is in fact an Infinity Stone as Sif leaves it with him for safe keeping.
Post credits scene: Thor returns to London for some smooches. Thor will return.
Final Rating: 6/10
This movie isn’t bad per se, it’s just a bit nonsensical at times and overall forgettable. Chris Hemsworth and Tom Hiddleston’s likeability are the only thing that really redeem the movie because the plot is confusing, the villain is a faceless bore, and the motives of everyone involved are murky. But due to the brilliant rapport of Hemsworth and Hiddleston the movie is a decent way to kill 2 hours.
Up next in The 300s Marvel Cinematic Rewind is Captain America: The Winter Solider!
11 years. It’s been more than a decade since Tony Stark “built this in a cave with a box of scraps.” Avengers: Endgame is officially in theaters and I’ve been hiding from Twitter for the past week, minus a few ribbings at the expense of Mr. John Tavares and the Toronto Chokealeafs. Endgame is the culmination of everything in the MCU, a definitive end for many of the characters we’ve been watching since the days of George W.
The 300s 