Tag: ESPN

Win or Lose Super Bowl LIII, Tom Brady Will Be Back Next Season

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With a tumultuous offseason that saw Tom Brady skipping OTAs and going on a world tour to promote TB12, coupled with the reports of tension between him and Bill Belichick, there was plenty of speculation that 2018 could be Brady’s last season. Don’t get it twisted, Tom Brady is my favorite athlete of all-time, but it would be a gigantic dick move to retire a year after essentially forcing the Patriots to trade away his young replacement in Jimmy Garoppolo. Brady was incredible last season; he was the MVP of the league and brought the Pats to the brink of another Super Bowl title in 2017, but it would be fair for fans, not to mention Robert Kraft, to be a little pissed if Brady left the team high and dry like that with no succession plan in place.

I never thought I’d see the day I wrote this, but it looks like Devin McCourty may retire before Tom Brady does. The GOAT seems to have outlasted yet another teammate a decade plus younger than him. Incredible.

Now, Brady has long said he wanted to play into his mid 40s, but he then released the mini-series Tom vs Time that literally ends with him openly questioning his love of the game and why he’s still doing it.

Soo it was naive at best, disingenuous at worst, for Tom Brady to wonder why people would question his commitment to the Patriots now. However, Brady put that to bed and triple stamped a double stamp this week when he told ESPN that there is a 0% chance he’ll retire after Super Bowl LIII. I don’t know about you, but I breathed a sigh of relief and I’m a guy that thinks Brady will play until he’s collecting social security. It’s just nice to know that when Sunday night comes and I am screaming and resisting the urge to kick a hole through my TV in what will undoubtedly be another stress filled game, it’s nice to know that I won’t also have to be worrying if this is the last time I ever see No. 12 on the field.

Will Tom play play until he’s 45? He’ll be 42 when next season starts, which means he’d have to play another 3+ seasons to hit that mark so I don’t know about that. But, he still looks better than the majority of quarterbacks in the NFL over longer stretches and is still the best in the NFL in clutch, gotta have it situations. So he should be in no rush to retire.

TB12 will always be there. Tony Robbins will always be there. But the NFL won’t.

So for now Tom Brady is still the King in the North and is my quarterback from this day until my last day.

LeBron Does Know He Lost to the Warriors 3 Out of 4 Times in the NBA Finals Right? Right??

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I give LeBron credit for winning the NBA Finals in 2016 because the current era Golden State Warriors are one of the best teams of all time. But with that being said it took a Draymond Green suspension and one of the most cold blooded dagger threes of all-time from Kyrie Irving to get him there. He also lost to that same Warriors team in 2015, 2017, and 2018. So maybe releasing footage of yourself harping on how the Warriors fuck up all the time is not the best look. Self awareness has never been LeBron’s strong suit though.

This all comes just a couple of days after footage came out of LeBron crowning himself the greatest of all-time for winning the ’16 finals. Despite losing to that same team 3 out of 4 times.

I don’t want to always harp on LeBron, I really don’t, but he just sets himself up for it. Listen, LeBron has done a lot of great things:

He brought the city of Cleveland its first title in 50 years.

He was excellent in Trainwreck.

And he is one of the best players of all time, but despite an impressive 8 straight appearances in the championship round he is still 3-6 in the NBA Finals. So maybe, just maybe, one pretty impressive comeback against a really good team doesn’t propel you to GOAT status. If that were the case then Ray Allen could say the same thing for his Game 6 dagger 3 against the Spurs.

Come to think of it, if it weren’t for ice cold blood in the veins of Jesus Shuttlesworth and Kyrie, LeBron James would be 1-8 in the NBA Finals.

Unrelated note: Stumbled upon this incredible LeBron impersonation…

Jets Gonna Jet; Lose Tight End for the Year After He Drops a Weight on His Foot

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Yahoo – The New York Jets placed tight end Eric Tomlinson on injured reserve Thursday with one game left to play in the season. The move appeared to be the sort of end-of-season housecleaning that many non-contending teams use to fill out their active roster for the final game of the season, but then, well, we found out how Tomlinson got injured.

Tomlinson received his season-ending injury by dropping a weight on his foot in the weight room and lacerating two toes, according to ESPN’s Rich Cimini. The injury was reportedly serious enough to require surgery..the Jets are currently on pace to finish last in the AFC East for a third straight season and endure even more time as the team everyone loves to dump on.

I’m not gonna play around like this can’t happen to anyone because my roommate freshman year of college did the same exact thing. Went to slide the 45 pound plate (NBD) off the bar, but didn’t realize there was a 10 pound weight in front of it. Slid 10 lbs of  pain right off the bar onto his toe. SNAP. Kid was in a boot for quite a while. But that was my 18-year-old roommate, not a professional athlete paid in part to lift weights and work out. Sucks to see because that shit must HURT, but man if this isn’t another Jets debacle in a long line of Jets debacles then I don’t know what is.

Now just don’t lose on Sunday boys or it’ll make this snarky blog look much worse in hindsight.

Go lock up that No. 2 seed!

ESPN Made A Docuseries About LeBron and His 3 Buddies “Improbable” Rise

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This is ESPN finally, publicly, rolling over and letting LeBron James scratch its belly. This is the ‘worldwide leader in sports” deciding to come out and say “yes, we work for this guy”. Because make no mistake about it this is the most LUDICROUS thing I have ever seen in my entire life, hands down.

First of all, what is so fucking improbable about a guy with freak genetics (he’s 6’8″ folks) being a superstar basketball player? Really not a whole lot. Especially considering he also, ya know, likes basketball. Second of all, what did his buddies actually do?

What fucking pray tell do they contribute beyond being LeBron’s cronies? His “Day 1s” if you will. I’m not sure and maybe it’s a bit unfair for me to just assume they don’t do much, but the odds are ASTRONOMICAL that they are better at it than someone not handpicked by LeBron, just because.

What this “Docuseries” really should be is a way to weed out who should and should not be allowed to conceive. Because anyone who watches and/or enjoys a DOCUMENTARY ABOUT LEBRON JAMES’ FRIENDS should nevvvvver be allowed to reproduce. Ever.

So h/t to ESPN for deciding this was a good idea. In one fell swoop you’ve outed yourselves as LeBron’s personal media entity and the producer of the dumbest shit of all time.

Now pardon me while I DVR everything Fox Sports has ever made.

-Joey B

 

 

Kyrie Irving Said He Meets With a Mystical Board of People for Advice

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This quote came courtesy of Chris Forsberg, in which Kyrie said he meets with a mystical board of wise people for advice.

He is literally describing the Jedi High Council.

So is Kyrie Irving a Jedi? It would explain the insane handle and ball control in traffic; dude’s been using the force this whole time. It would also explain his overly elaborate and theatrical style of speaking. Kyrie is simply stuffed to the gills with midichlorians.

ESPN Will Start Sunday Night Baseball One Hour Earlier in 2019

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Yahoo – ESPN will begin broadcasting baseball games on Sunday nights an hour earlier beginning in 2019, with first pitch scheduled shortly after 7 PM EDT, Ronald Blum of the Associated Press reports. Games had typically started shortly after 8 PM EDT. ESPN has not made an official announcement but is expected to do so at the Winter Meetings.

It’s about time. Baseball games take 3-4 hours these days and god forbid its a Red Sox Yankees game. I know I sound like an old man, but I’m simply just not going to stay up until 11 or 12 at night to watch a baseball game.

Who the hell is actually up watching these games besides college kids and the unemployed?

This Yahoo story cites “player rest” as the main reason for the change, which may be true but I can’t imagine one hour making that much of a difference for players. This is a move that all fans should love, unless of course you live on the West Coast, but nobody cares what you think. Support a big market franchise when it’s not the best team in the league and maybe we’ll give you a spot at the table. Until then let the East Coast worry about these things.

The Situation With the UFC’s First ESPN+ Card is Officially Nuts

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Yesterday morning, I sat down at this very keyboard and wrote out what I thought was a solid blog regarding the next UFC Fight Night in Brooklyn, which also happens to be the UFC’s first card on ESPN+ as part of the new UFC-ESPN deal. Well, that blog got deleted instead of being sent to Red for publishing. Fuck. Fate seems to have intervened, as it does however, and a whirlwind of announcements have been made since. Hard to tell where to begin.

What I wrote about yesterday was the UFC insensitively booking Greg Hardy’s debut for the Brooklyn card when the only other fight scheduled (at.the.time) was Paige Van Zant vs. Rachel Ostovich. Ostovich, if you don’t know, is the fighter who came into the public consciousness recently for the worst reasons, having been the victim of a brutal attack at the hands of her husband, a fellow MMA fighter. I mean, he broke her orbital bone. Ghastly stuff. But she’s a fighter, and fighters fight, and she decided to stay on the card, So what does the UFC do? O, only books a guy convicted of beating, strangling, and tossing, onto a bed laden with guns no less, his girlfriend. Best case scenario this was just a massive missed communication – not a misspelling by the way, I don’t mean signals crossed, I mean signals missed altogether. Worst case the UFC went too far with their “everybody deserves a second chance” stance on Hardy and this being a big event, decided it shouldn’t matter who he fights alongside. What I think they might do, given the backlash, is move his fight to a different card. Make the guy wait and excuse yourself with an “aw shucks” shrug. That will be enough. No need for a gigantic, phony public apology. If Ostovich raises hell however they are going to be in quite the spot with the press and fans alike.

That was supposed to be it. The Hardy-Ostovich story. But noooope. This card curiously lacked a headliner. What did the UFC do? They only moved the biggest fight they currently have booked, the Champ vs. Champ 125lb Title Fight between Henry Cejudo and T.J Dillashaw, to the top of this card, taking it from an uncomfortable spectacle on paper to the makings of a barn-burner. I mean this fight is not getting 1/100 the attention it deserves. In Cejudo you have a guy that should be getting all the love in the world; someone who has been the best in the world at every stage in the game, from Olympic gold medalist to UFC Champion after dethroning long-time, immovable champion Demetrious Johnson. In T.J Dillashaw you have a true blue nightmare at 135lbs; another excellent wrestler who under the tutelage of Duane Ludwig has rebuilt himself into a shape-shifting, ultra slick, world-class kickboxer that just simply freezes people. This fight is going to be insane. (Side Note: This leave UFC 233 without a headliner. Cormier-Lesn……?)

To round out yesterday’s announcement The UFC shifted a pivotal  women’s flyweight division fight from UFC 233 to the Brooklyn card. This one pits Arianne “Violence Queen” Lipski, who has only met a couple of opponents she couldn’t finish, against fan favorite Joanne Calderwood, who has only met a couple coaches she couldn’t fuck. The winner of this one is probably neck-and-neck with or just below Jessica Andrade for a shot at Cashmeouside for the Women’s Flyweight Championship.

When all is said and done this Brooklyn/ESPN+ card has gone from kind of bizarre to almost a real UFC MMA card. It still, in my opinion, needs a solid fight or two to make it worth tuning into for more than Cejudo-Killashaw, but they are this close. Wild night indeed.

Former High School Phenom and Celtics Player Sebastian Telfair is Dropping an Album

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Former high school phenom and street ball legend Sebastian Telfair was on the Breakfast Club this morning and I was wondering why he was on the radio regailing tales of his NBA heyday. Apparently he’s dropping an album, which I’ll get to in a bit, but first I have to dive back into my long dormant obsession of one Sebastian Telfair. On the Breakfast Club Telfair even briefly touched on his time with the Boston Celtics. I’m paraphrasing here, but basically what he said was:

“Even the young guys was acting like old guys, like if that guy drives a Cadillac instead of a Bentley I’m not setting a screen for him.”

Telfair played on the worst Celtics team of my life as a fan: the 2006-07 squad that went 24-58 under Doc Rivers. Woof. That was the year Paul Pierce missed a bunch of time due to a foot injury and only appeared in 47 games. What I totally forgot though was just how young Telfair was when he joined the Celtics. In case you were wondering he averaged 6.1 points and 2.8 assists per game in his one year with the C’s. He was still only 21-years-old though and it was just his third year in the league! So its not like he was this total project of a player, which probably helped his value as he was later part of the earth shattering Kevin Garnett trade package just a few months later.

Now who was it that Telfair could be referring to? That Celtics team had a TON of young guys that were on a terrible team so I can imagine how toxic that environment was. Lets take a look at the young guys on that team. Since it was Telfair’s third year in the league, lets take a look at guys who had three years or less of NBA experience when he joined the team. Tony Allen, Ryan Gomes, Gerald Green, Al Jefferson, Kevinn Pinkney (?), Leon Powe, Allan Ray (not Ray Allen), Rajon Rondo, and Delonte West. Holy shit what a cast of characters. I don’t remember the last time I actually looked at the 2006-07 roster (why would anyone?), but I forgot how many “mercurial” players were on that team. I can totally picture Delonte West and Rajon Rondo hating on Telfair for no other reason than the publicity and fanfare he got for being good in high school. And thats before we even get to Kendrick Perkins, who is a favorite player of many Celtics fans, but is also known for being a complete prick too. My money is on Rondo and Perkins just icing Telfair out and straight up bullying him like Mean Girls.

Now it’s probably because I saw Telfair’s documentary Through the Fire when I was like 16 that I have such an affinity for the one time superstar in waiting.

Plus a closing credits song that bangs so hard its on my iPod (iPhone?) to this day.

He was one of the first high school basketball players to go straight to the pros not named Kobe, Garnett or LeBron. Jay-Z even spit a verse about the fucking guy on Dead Presidents.

Let me live out my dreams, until my heart give out
Devour cream, you know exactly what this is about
Fuck y’all mean, handlin’ since a teen
Like LeBron or Sebastian, high school graduates
Straight to the league, I ain’t waitin’ for my knee to blow
Yesterday I was needin’ this dough

Telfair was on the cover of magazines,

His high school games were on ESPN, he had the aforementioned documentary, HOV and Derek Jeter even went to watch him play. In a high school gym.

This was the real life Jesus Shuttlesworth as we all watched a 17-year-old kid decide what he wanted to do with his life. He ultimately ended up spurning the honorable Rick Pitino at Louisville to turn pro instead, going 13th overall to the Trailblazers.

After parts of 11 seasons in the NBA where he averaged 7.4 points and 3.5 rebounds over his career, Telfair went over to China just like his cousin Stephon Marbury and not surprisingly lit it up for a couple years. Now? Now we get mixtape Sebastian as Telfair is apparently dropping an album. Athletes releasing music almost always ends poorly, unless you’re Cole Beasley of course.

But we’ve buried the lede long enough. All athletes want to be rappers and all rappers want to be athletes, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t gonna give Sebastian Telfair’s debut album a listen. I literally could not find any mention of it on the internet though, which is not a great sign. But I was able to track it down after I finally landed on Telfair’s own Twitter page. So without further ado…

The MMA Apocalypse is Upon Us

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MMAFighting.com –  MMA history is about to be made with a shocking talent exchange.

ESPN reported Wednesday that the UFC and ONE Championship are in talks to trade former UFC flyweight champion Demetrious Johnson for recently retired ONE welterweight champion Ben Askren.

Straight off the top, what is basically happening if you don’t feel like reading is that the two organizations are going to release their respective fighters so that the fighters can sign with the other organization. So it’s not really a true, blue trade, but it is the kind of thing that quasi-happens on occasion in the NBA around the trade deadline.

This makes the most sense for ONE and DJ. “Mighty Mouse” has never been able to break through popularity-wise as his PPVs have sold poorly and Fight Night cards have had low ratings compared to other headliners. In ONE, he’ll have the benefit of a fanbase that loves smaller, quicker, more dynamic fighters and will be able to reap the rewards of sponsorship opportunities

I can’t rate the UFC’s side of the deal without bias unfortunately. I hate Ben Askren. He is entitled and big-headed without, in my mind, deserving to be. Don’t get it twisted, he has been completely dominant throughout his career. But he has fought literally no one of note. His first fight in ONE was against an unknown career middleweight with I think 8 fights. Woopdy do. The UFC seems to be desperate to add another marquee name in the wake of another McGregor loss and Daniel Cormier retiring imminently.  Like a baseball team that doesn’t build its farm system, the UFC did not do a good enough job building future stars.

Either way, this is the most batshit thing I can possibly think of happening in combat sports. Shipping two fighters across the world in opposite directions is laugh out loud funny especially when you consider this is being done because neither organization knows what the hell to do with the fighter they have under contract. Stupefying stuff.

-Joey B.

The 300s Red Sox Yankees ALDS Preview

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It’s been FOURTEEN YEARS since these teams faced off in the postseason when the Red Sox broke a curse and kicked off an entire generation of young massholes coming up in the world (not to mention completing the greatest comeback in the history of sports). It seems like these two teams used to go at it in the playoffs all the time back in the day, but in reality they’ve only ever faced off four times. That just goes to show you how sports will never be more important to your every day life than when you’re 15.

I wrote the other day about how despite winning a franchise record 108 games, most Red Sox fans don’t seem exactly brimming with confidence. The Yankees, also having won 100 games, have come to town though so it’s time to play for keeps. Lets break down some key things to watch for before making our pick.

  • Game 1
    • Friday, Oct. 5th – 7:32 pm (Fenway)
      • Chris Sale vs J.A. Happ
  • Game 2
    • Saturday, Oct. 6th – 8:15 pm (Fenway)
      • David Price vs Masahiro Tanaka
  • Game 3
    • Monday, Oct. 8th – TBD (Yankee Stadium)
      • ??? vs Rick Porcello
  • Game 4
    • Tuesday, Oct. 9th – TBD (Yankee Stadium) *if necessary
  • Game 5
    • Thursday, Oct. 11th – TBD (Fenway) *if necessary

/////

  • He’s not even on the team, but Trot Nixon is throwing out the first pitch for Game 1 so I’m listing that as a strength. Don’t even argue with me on that one.
  • Red Sox Offense – Boston led all of baseball with 876 runs this year (NY was second with 851) and have 2 guys in JD Martinez and Mookie Betts who are a coin flip to win AL MVP. Aside from those two they have a pretty, pretty, pretty good lineup:
    • Andrew Benintendi .290/16/87
    • Xander Bogaerts .288/23/103
    • Rafael Devers .240/21/66
    • Eduardo Nunez .265/10/44
    • Brock Holt .277/7/46
    • Mitch Moreland .245/15/68
  • Not to mention we have newly crowned Yankee killer Steve Pearce waiting to pounce. He hits J.A. Happ extremely well (.344 average, 1.419 OPS, six homers and 16 RBIs in 32 career at-bats) so don’t be surprised to see him in the starting lineup tonight.
  • Chris Sale (if healthy)
    • It’s impossible to know what to expect from Chris Sale tonight. I went into my concerns about Sale the other day and I still don’t feel great about it.
      I’ll be honest though, the No. 1 reason I’m less than confident heading into Friday night is 100% Chris Sale’s health. The guy is just not right. According to Felger and Mazz yesterday, his average fastball velocity went down every single start over his last four starts. That is BAD. He was throwing off of flat ground earlier this week, just days before he’s supposed to take the ball in Game 1. Thats something a rehabbing pitcher does, not a guy who is ready to open the ALDS. Maybe he comes out and he’s totally fine, but I’m not counting on it. Even if he does, I’d be concerned about how he bounces back. Remember when he came off the DL and struck out 12 Orioles and was hitting 99 on the gun? Yea well that was on August 12th and he’s thrown a grand total of 12 innings since then.
  • Craig Kimbrel had a down year when compared to his stellar standard, but this guy coming out of the pen throwing absolute gas is about as good of a weapon you can have. Now if the Sox can somehow bridge the gap to him…
  • Red Sox Bullpen: It’s terrible. Despite the advanced analytics saying the Sox bullpen actually has a great WAR, if you’ve watched even one game this season you know it’s anxiety inducing. Hell, it’s been this way all the way since Game 1.
  • So help me god if Alex Cora throws Steven Wright out there in a late situation only to give up a bomb on a knuckleball while Boone sits in the dugout and smirks.
  • Red Sox Starters 2-5: Consistency is the problem here. Rick Porcello won the Cy Young in 2016 for christ’s sake, but I’m not super confident in him. He did throw a complete game shutout against the Yankees in about 90 minutes earlier this season though.
  • Even Tim Kurkjian doesn’t know what to think. I feeeel like they’ll be good, but they’ve also ALL been bad in the playoffs their entire careers….

“The gut feeling here is, despite lots of evidence to the contrary, he is going to be great this October. He will have to be if the Red Sox are to win this series. [Chris Sale] David Price and Rick Porcello also need to be good. Together, those three are 0-11 with a 6.18 ERA in 14 postseason starts.”

  • David Price’s Psyche: He’s gotta break through in the playoffs at some point right? Right??
  • Yankees Home Run Power: These guys can hit the shit out of the ball and half their lineup can hit it to the moon. The Yankees set the single season home run record this year with 267 home runs, which I feel like is somehow getting overlooked here. Stanton led the Yanks with 38 dingers, but Miguel Andujar, Didi Gregorius, Aaron Hicks, and Aaron Judge each hit 27. Oh and Gleyber Torres chipped in with 24 of his own. Yikes.
  • I think more than anything I just want to beat Aaron Boone’s brains in. It’s bad enough what he did to me and my family back in 2003, but for him to saunter out of the ESPN broadcast booth down into the dugout and think he’s just going to manage the Yankees past the Red Sox? Straight up disrespectful.

  • I would rather listen to Michael McDonald for 8 hours a day then hear that obnoxious, awful, victory chant from John Sterling one more time. THAaAaAaAaAaAa YANKEES WIN is the most obnoxious shit in all of sports and is literally the exact opposite of what they teach you in journalism school. So yea, listen to your teachers and stay in school kids.

Official Prediction

Red Sox in 5

I think the best home field advantage in baseball comes into play as the Red Sox are dominant at home (57-24 at Fenway this year) and the Yankees are 1-6 in their last 7 playoff road games. The Sox bullpen will struggle to keep these games in check, but I think some combo of Sale/Kimbrel/Eovaldi/E-Rod get it done with some help from Price. We know this team can hit, it’s just going to be a matter of keeping the Yanks in check and I think the Sox do it by the skin of their teeth as New York pushes them to the brink.