Tag: Green Bay

The Absolute Implosion of Aaron Rodgers and the Packers Just Reinforces How Rock Solid the Patriots Have Been

By on • ( Leave a comment )

Jesus, Aaron! Maybe just turn the other cheek? While he’s probably not wrong, he has absolutely zero to gain by sniping the “mostly irrelevant, bitter players.” It’s a lose lose situation because he just comes off looking like a dickhead. This all stems from the recent Bleacher Report article that absolutely smoked Rodgers and Mike McCarthy and the fault that each deserves for the Packers coming up short over the years.

It must be infuriating as a player because you really can’t win, but look no further than one Tom Brady for a playbook on how to handle “smear attacks” and media hit pieces. The most incendiary things he’s said in the past 5 years came from *leaked* emails such as him shitting on Peyton Manning’s longevity as well as his hatred of ill prepared pool cover companies.

Tom Brady also had the gall to politely tell WEEI to go fist themselves after someone called his daughter a pissant on the air. That was after ESPN dropped article after article on the crumbling Patriots dynasty including Seth Wickersham writing 20,000 word pieces on how bad the infighting and the drama had gotten within the Patriots organization. All they’ve done since was go out and win 2 out of 3 Super Bowls.

So my advice to Aaron Rodgers? Be more like Tom Brady.

Despite All the Dirt Thrown On Him, Josh McDaniels Still Drawing Interest from Multiple Teams as Head Coach

By on • ( Leave a comment )

CBS Sports – Less than one year after spurning the Colts, it doesn’t appear that Josh McDaniels is going to have any issues finding a head coaching job this offseason if he wants one.

The Patriots offensive coordinator is expected to land multiple interviews over the next few weeks and it looks like one of those will be going down in Green Bay. According to NFL.com, the Packers are expected to hold an interview with McDaniels on Friday. Since the Patriots have a bye this week, McDaniels is allowed to interview for open jobs this weekend. The Packers moved quickly to land an interview with McDaniels with the team sending in a formal request to interview him just one day after the NFL regular season ended.

Despite all the dirt thrown on his name after backing out of the Colts job, Josh McDaniels is still very much in on several head coaching job openings this offseason.

And I love it.

This may be the height of my “Patriots against the world” complex, but hey thats what happens when everyone calls you a cheater and openly roots for your demise for over a decade. Thats also what makes winning so much sweeter though. So yes, rooting for Josh McDaniels to get a head coaching job primarily out of spite against anyone that talked ill of a Patriots employee is petty, bizarre even; I fully admit that. Doesn’t change the facts though.

“Besides the Packers, the Browns and Bengals have also requested to interview McDaniels. CBS Sports NFL Insider Jason La Canfora reported on Dec. 30 that the Browns owner Jimmy Haslam is “very high” on McDaniels, which could make Cleveland a wild-card in the sweepstakes for the Patriots offensive coordinator.”

This comes less than a year after talking heads around the interwebs all but buried the guy under Gillette Stadium. The simple fact of the matter though is who would you rather have? There are a TON of head coaching vacancies this offseason and not nearly enough competent names to fill them. Eight to be exact. Yup, the Browns, Packers, Jets, Broncos, Dolphins, Bucs, Bengals, and Cardinals are all in the market for a new head coach.

Now as always, this comes with the disclaimer that Josh McDaniels has worked under potentially the greatest head coach of all time along with the greatest quarterback of all time for years. Lets be honest, I could be Tom Brady’s offensive coordinator and the Pats would probably still win the division. So aside from a brief stint with the Broncos (11-17), it’s hard to really peg McDaniels’ true value.

But thats also what makes him such an intriguing candidate.

If I’m the owner of an NFL franchise do I want someone from the Belichick Coaching Tree (more on this in a moment) that is young, innovative, and has worked with the best in the business for the past 10+ years? Or do I want to hire a guy thats already been a head coach for a long time and has already proven multiple times that he’s not a difference maker? Would you rather hire Josh McDaniels or Jeff Fisher?

Granted the Belichick Coaching Tree hasn’t exactly flourished when Bill’s assistants have gone on to set up their own programs, but this is a quarterback driven league. A lot of these coaches simply haven’t had “the guy.”

Romeo Crennel (28-55) had Trent Dilfer, Charlie Frye, Derek Anderson, Brady Quinn, Matt Cassel, and Brady Quinn again at quarterback over the years before being axed for the final time. Eric Mangini (33-47) had Chad Pennington, 39-year-old Brett Favre, Brady Quinn (again!), and Colt McCoy at QB before he got axed for the final time. Charlie Weis (41-49) went over to the NCAA, which is an entirely different animal and failed at multiple schools. More recently we’ve seen Bill O’Brien (42-38) have moderate success in Houston, relatively speaking. Sure, he was rumored to be on the hot seat this year, but they’ve made the playoffs 3 out of the last 4 years. Before Deshaun Watson, O’Brien had Ryan Fitzpatrick, Brian Hoyer, Ryan Mallett, Brock Osweiller (which was his own fault), and Tom Savage. So now that he has an actual QB in Watson you see what that team is capable of. Not a lot of Pro Bowl quarterbacks in there guys. Then theres Matt Patricia (6-10), who’s first season in Detroit can be described as nothing but disastrous.

So 1 out of 5 ain’t good, but hey I’d rather take a chance on a young guy with a great pedigree than hire a guy that I KNOW will have my team going 8-8 every year.

Here are some of the other candidates with previous head coaching experience just to name a few.

  • Mike McCarthy (125-77-2, 10-8 in the playoffs)
  • Adam Gase (23-25, 0-1 in the playoffs)
  • Todd Bowles (26-41)
  • Bruce Arians (49-30, 1-2 in the playoffs)
  • Vance Joseph (11-21)
  • Jim Caldwell (62-50, 2-4 in the playoffs)

Do ANY of those candidates excite you if you’re a fan of one of those teams that has an opening at HC? Maybe Bruce Arians, but he retired after the 2017 season and would be the 3rd oldest coach in the NFL, were he to come back, behind only Belichick and Pete Carroll. I’m looking for someone at least *a little* bit different if I’m an owner. Hell I’d take a shot on Lincoln Riley (Riley legit just signed an extension with Oklahoma yesterday) or Kliff Kingsbury over any of those guys. Am I biased because I’m 29 and I want to see more young blood in the league? Yea, probably. But these teams that are mired in mediocrity year after year, make the same dumb decisions every season and wonder why they never go anywhere. Hell it took the Bengals 16 years to get out of their own way before finally firing Marvin Lewis and his 0-7 playoff record. (Although they might step right back into their own way and hire Hue Jackson)

So yea McDaniels is kind of a dick for leaving the Colts at the altar last offseason (and hosing a few assistants in the process). I can understand why you wouldn’t want to grab a beer with the guy. But this is the NFL where the only thing that matters are results and Josh McDaniels has 5 Super Bowl rings working with the Patriots in various roles. And before you say it’s all because of the head coach and the QB, whether thats true or not, the Offensive Coordinator of the Kansas City Chiefs, Eric Bieniemy is rumored to be a hot head coaching candidate despite this being his FIRST year as an OC. Why? Because of what the head coach and the QB have been able to do this season. This comes less than a year after Bieniemy’s predecessor Matt Nagy was hired by the Chicago Bears as their new head coach who also had just one year as an OC on his resume. So you can’t have it both ways folks — the OC matters or he doesn’t.

TLDR; I think Josh McDaniels is as good as gone this offseason and I’d take McDaniels over a ton of other guys in this league as a head coach. Now, Bill Belichick isn’t one of them though so if it’s between him and McDaniels? Best of luck, Josh!

Pat McAfee Will Be Making His NFL Broadcasting Debut This Weekend

By on • ( Leave a comment )

12up –  The NFL broadcast booth will have a very entertaining presence in the final week of the regular season. ​Former Indianapolis Colts punter Pat McAfee will call this Sunday’s Detroit Lions-Green Bay Packers game, the first NFL game in his broadcasting career.

I’ll be totally honest, I was not familiar with Pat McAfee aside from the infamous arrest and drunken mug shot (which he tells the story of brilliantly) before he got to Barstool Sports. The former Colts punter was not someone I expected to be looking forward to his broadcasting debut, but here we are. McAfee is a hilarious guy with a serious talent for storytelling, which obviously lends itself to not only stand up comedy, but television work like broadcasting.

After a meteoric rise at Barstool where he became a nationally known name for something beyond his bionic leg, McAfee had a sudden and bizarre breakup with the Stool. I don’t know the inner workings of what exactly happened, but nevertheless McAfee became a free agent once again and it looks like he’ll be trying his talents in the booth for now.

I’m sure it goes beyond just kicking, but McAfee is known for breaking down the finer details of the punting game on Twitter from time to time so the guys clearly knows his stuff.

I will definitely be tuning in to hear McAfee during the Packers Lions game this weekend and for all you poors that don’t have Sunday Ticket, the game will be on FOX so check it out.

The 300s 2018 Fantasy Football All Cock Tease Team

By on • ( Leave a comment )

Welcome, welcome to our awards. Before we begin I’m going to briefly kick it to our team on tonight’s red carpet…

Thank Joey! Here we see Founder Red wearing a Lakers jersey with camo cargo shorts. I’m really digging his ironic choice that is clearly a protest to our recent cooperation with North Korea. Back to the studio…

Thanks guys! Now before we proceed I should probably explain what these awards actually are about since nobody fucking knows.

We have all picked a bust or 12 throughout our fantasy football seasons, however most are of either the “reach” or “hard on” variety. A “reach”, as is well known, is a player you pick a bit too high, possibly motivated by the fear of someone else picking him. A “hard on” pick, for lack of a more enlightened term, would refer to players that we just personally really like without a ton evidence as to why and that simply don’t work out.

These awards, however, celebrate the “cock teases” – players who are picked at a good time given their value, normally put up good numbers relative to that selection point, yet completely fuck us. They don’t buy us dinner first either, just bend us over the analogous  10, 12, or 16 team table and fuck us.

So without further ado, as composed by and contributed to by our talented staff, I give you The 300s 2018 All Cock Tease Team:

QB: Jimmy Garoppolo, San Francisco 49ers
Red: I was ready for Jimmy G to rise like a phoenix out of the ashes that was my 2017 fantasy season, but in his third game the most handsome ACL in the league exploded and I was stuck with Matt Stafford at QB the rest of the way.

 

RB1: Jordan Howard, Chicago Bears
Mattes: Now, a lot of people might give me crap for drafting Howard in the second round of a PPR draft. First, I’d like to respond by saying it’s only a half-point league, and, second, the guy also had two-straight 1,200-plus-yard seasons and nine touchdowns last year on a bad team. I – like many – expected the Bears to be much-improved this year (which they certainly are), and I also believed new head coach Matt Nagy when he said he’d finally get Howard more involved in the passing game. Then came along Tarik Cohen, and there were also five games this year in which Howard averaged under 2.6 yards a carry. In fact, Cohen actually ended up finishing over FOURTY spots ahead of Howard in the overall rankings this year. Picked the wrong guy, I guess, huh?

 


RB2: Le’veon Bell, Pittsburgh Steelers
GUEST CONTRIBUTION! Patty Blackouts: I mean what is there to say besides he’s a seflish fuck who passed up 850k a week to sit out and try and protect his body to try and get a long term deal. Took him 4th overall thinking he’d show up sometime around end of September or October and nope just sat out all season sending cryptic tweets so you’d think he was going to report and next ya know he’s playing pickup basketball games at the local Y. I hope no one pays him what he wants and he regrets passing up the 14.5 mill he would have been paid this season by signing the franchise tag. But yes I’m bitter because  I used my first overall pick on him in fantasy got the same amount of points out of him as he did paychecks this season….0!

I hope he gets hurt in the next preseason.

Douchebag.

WR1: Quincy Enunwa, Goddam Jets
Red: No one, and I mean no one in my fantasy league watches more Jets games than me as the Mrs. is a huge fan. So watching a team that bad I was determined to derive some value out of it, which is exactly what Quincy Enunwa was going to do for me. Enunwa was going to be the steal of the draft as he put up 15, 12 and 10 points in 3 of the first 4 games, but then his season was derailed by various injuries. He cracked 6 points just once after September…

 

WR2: Golden Tate, Detroit Lions/Philadelphia Eagles
Joey B: Tate started the season as Matthew Stafford’s #1 option in what is normally a high flying Detroit offense. To that end, he kicked off the season with games of  17, 15, 10 and TWENTY FUCKING NINE. After that he completely shit the bed, probably became an asshole in the locker room because he realized his name is fucking Golden, and then got traded to Philly where he had one game of 20, coincidentally the only other time he’s seen the end zone since September, and seemingly is hated by all 12 of Philly’s playoff-ready QBs.

 

TE: Gronk
Joey B: I always pick Gronk wayyyy too high because he plays a position where all of 4-5 guys give you tremendous amounts of points and even among those guys he usually stands out. But this year, as the world knows, was different. He’s just broken and I’m just sad.

 

Flex1: Jarvis Landry, Cleveland Browns
Mattes: Landry wasn’t without a few big games of his own this year. Also like Cousins, Landry was a guy whom I expected to make a huge splash with a new team this season, but instead was super inconsistent. Yes, he had to deal with learning how to play with two different QBs this year, but remember that Baker Mayfield has been playing since Week 3. In the 13 games he’s played with Mayfield, Landry has put up single-digit totals in seven of them. For a guy who averaged 99 catches per season before this year, his mark of 72 through 16 games this year is incredibly disappointing.

 

Flex2: Chris Hogan, New England Patriots
Big Z: With Brandin Cooks in LA and Julian Edelman sidelined for the first four games of the season, I was certain Chris Hogan was a steal in the fifth round. He would be one of Tom Brady’s top targets the first month of the season, and hopefully stay in the mix even after Edelman returned.

Hogan scored two touchdowns in Week 2, but he wouldn’t find the end zone again for three months. By that time I had already dropped him and moved on. Just another cautionary tale of putting too much stock in to a Patriots WR/RB for fantasy football purposes.

 

D/ST: San Diego Los Angeles Chargers
Joey B: With Joey Bosa and company up front and some decent pieces in the secondary, I thought the “pressure creates turnovers” rule would get me some points on D. Instead Bosa got hurt and the Chargers are last in return yards allowed.

 

Kicker: Dan Bailey, Minnesota Vikings
Big Z: Drafting and picking up kickers in fantasy football is a bit of a crap shoot. You just try to pick up a guy who kicks for a team with a good, but not great, offense. If he plays in warm weather or a dome, even better. That’s why I love NFC South kickers and why I will never draft the Bills kicker.

Dan Bailey had a rough 2017 and got released by Dallas. But he was at one time the most accurate kicker in NFL history. When he got picked up by Minnesota, I thought he would be a good guy to take a flier on. Accurate kicker on a good, not great, team that plays its home games in a dome.

Bailey is 20/27 on field goals for the Vikes this year and his 2018 may be worse than his 2017. Yikes. God help the Vikings special teams coach

 

*BONUS: Mid-Season Pick Up Fist Fucker of the Year*

WR: Marquez Valdes-Scantling, Green Bay Packers

Red: MVS was one of the few guys I was first to the punch on in my league and he looked like a STUD. 6’4″ with 4.3 speed and Aaron Rodgers throwing him the ball? Yes please. After a quiet start to the season MVS blew onto the scene with a 4 week stretch of 13+ points. He would post 6+ points just once the rest of the way…

 

 

 

Is Josh McDaniels Salivating at the Suddenly Open Green Bay Packers Job?

By on • ( Leave a comment )

Yahoo – With Mike McCarthy out for the Green Bay Packers on Sunday night, a new question will orbit the franchise for the next month or two: Could New England Patriots offensive coordinator Josh McDaniels be the next man in?

A handful of NFL assistant coaches have indicated interest in joining a McDaniels-led coaching staff in Green Bay, according to sources who spoke to Yahoo Sports on Sunday. So much so that at least one has pulled his name from consideration for a college coordinator position. While such a development doesn’t guarantee mutual interest between the Packers and McDaniels, it is an indication the Patriots assistant is maintaining a list of staff candidates if he chooses to depart New England.

It remains to be seen whether the Packers would entertain a McDaniels pursuit, something that seemed unthinkable less than 10 months ago after McDaniels agreed to and then reneged on a commitment to take over the Indianapolis Colts. But league sources told Yahoo Sports as far back as last summer that McDaniels didn’t consider himself to be “burned” when it came to future head-coaching opportunities.

Is Josh McDaniels salivating at the suddenly open Green Bay Packers coaching position? He’d be crazy not to. ESPN can write 10,000 word exposes preaching fire and brimstone, sports talk radio can predict doom and gloom, but I’m telling you Bill Belichick is not going anywhere. This is a man who has lived and breathed football and nothing but football (OK maybe a little lacrosse) his entire life. I fully expect him to go the Joe Gibbs (retired at 67), Tom Coughlin (last coached at 69), Pete Carroll route and coach well into his late 60s. Hell I wouldn’t be surprised if Belichick coaches until his late 70s. What else is he gonna do?

So if you’re Josh McDaniels maybe you’re starting to slowly realize that now. It would help explain him leaving the Colts at the altar and turning down that job at the 11th hour. Or maybe he’s known Bill’s not going anywhere for quite some time and was simply scared off by Andrew Luck’s fusilli pasta shoulder.

However, now some PRIME jobs have come open including one with the No. 1 overall pick in Baker Mayfield, whom the Patriots reportedly coveted. If you’re into conspiracy theories, one of the biggest ones of 2018 was that the Patriots were ready to trade Gronk to the Detroit Lions for a first round pick. This came after the Patriots had already traded Brandin Cooks for a first round pick to go along with their own 1st rounder. So New England would have had three first round picks…and the old Jimmy Johnson Draft Pick Value Chart would have pegged these three picks as exactly what the Pats would have needed to trade all the way up to…No. 1 overall. Just some food for though.

The Browns are plagued by godawful ownership though as they’ll be looking for their 4th head coach in 5 years. Not exactly a stable work environment, especially for a guy who flamed out spectacularly in his first head coaching gig in Denver. Something tells me McDaniels is looking for somewhere with a bit more security. Now if only a coaching job with a great quarterback AND competent, patient management was available.

Like say…Green Bay?

With Mike McCarthy getting axed after 13 seasons in Green Bay, this looks like a prime situation for McDaniels. Sure Aaron Rodgers is 35-years-old, but he is still one of if not the best quarterback in the NFL with stable ownership. McDaniels could look at a situation with another aging, stubborn vet in Rodgers and potentially meddlesome ownership and think he’s better off with a younger quarterback where he’ll have a bit more leash to work with.

I have to admit, I completely belly laughed at anyone who said Josh McDaniels would never get another look as a head coach in the NFL. What an absolutely ridiculous statement to make. This is a league that routinely employs wife beaters, degenerates, and drug addicts as long as they can perform. So you think just because the guy was a giant asshole one time that nobody will hire him ever again? His boss is the biggest asshole in the league and he’s also the most successful coach in the league. Not that you necessarily need to be a giant asshole to succeed, but it sure as shit won’t preclude you from any job openings.

Big Z also made some more salient points in the immediate aftermath of the McDaniels decision to spurn the Colts. 

“McDaniels’ decision to stay in New England as offensive coordinator really is shocking. But maybe it shouldn’t be. McDaniels might not actually be worried about finding another job outside of New England. If he went to Indy and things went south in a hurry, it’s possible he wouldn’t get another head coaching opportunity anyways. McDaniels already had one tough stint in Denver. A few disappointing years in Indy could turn him into Eric Mangini.”

OddsShark recently tweeted that Bovada actually has McDaniels as the hands down favorite to become the next Packers head coach for what its worth.

With the Sean McVays (a hire I loved at the time) and the Matt Nagys of the world having so much success as young offensive minds, McDaniels will undoubtedly be back in the mix this offseason if he truly wants to be.

For all the questions surrounding what happened with Indy, why this will be different than his time in Denver, and how well will he do without Tom Brady, there is clearly still a mountain of interest in the guy.

“As one league executive told Yahoo Sports of McDaniels during training camp, “He’s still a young offensive coach who is extremely smart and creative, and that’s something everyone wants now. When the next [hiring cycle] comes, nobody will really care what he did to the Colts if they think they need him. Especially if there aren’t a lot of good guys to choose from.”

So if he wants another shot, it’s there.

 

This Green Bay Game Is Stressing Me Out and We Still Have No Clue What This Pats Team Is

By on • ( Leave a comment )

This, dear children, is the life of a Pats fan. This is what we signed up for. The crushing duality of being both the hunted and the hunter at all times, week in and week out. Most teams, and fan bases, would be pleased sitting at 6-2, first in their division, with a hard but manageable path to a playoff berth. Maybe even a playoff win, huh? Not us, and not our Patriots. Certainly not the High Triumvirate of Brady-Kraft-Belichick. No, we aspire to play in championship games and win championships. Therefore, a Week 9 game against an NFC team becomes a big, stressful to-do.

Green Bay represents a stiff challenge from a name-brand NFL foe and long-time power, and that is why this game is both important and stressful. They have an all-time great under center in Aaron Rodgers, who is smart, has a cannon of an arm, and a sometimes overwhelming ability to extend a play with his legs. The Packers also, if you have not been paying attention, have the 7th ranked D in the NFL in terms of total yards allowed. This can be a deceiving stat but still, it shows they are no slouch on that side of the ball either. So even if the Packers currently sit at a medicore 3-3-1, the Pats have to march onto the field to play a strong team with strong pieces, and a number of questions to answer in their own locker room. It’s not as much of a true test of who we are as it is a pop quiz.

To start with the offense, just who the fuck does Brady really trust throwing the ball to? His persistent praise and backing of Josh Gordon shows that he indeed desires to have a true #1 receiver, a la Cooks and Moss, in his arsenal. “Do not let this fearless freak of nature go,” thinks Tom between spoonfuls of avocado ice cream while Alex G. rubs his feet…sorry got off track. Other than Gordon, we have a still studly Edelman and RB/pass catching savage James White. Then things get interesting. Apart from those three, both in terms of production and where they sit in the Brady Trust Tree, we have a MAX 1/2 healthy Gronk, a timid Chris Hogan, and Philip Dorsett, whose rise and fall in the pecking order this year makes me wonder if he asked Giselle to sign a copy of the Swimsuit issue for him. So what is the answer here? Going up against some of the better defenses in the league down the stretch and in the playoffs Brady and Josh McDaniels CANNOT only have Edelman, a still working out the kinks Gordon, and James White to count on in the passing game. Just can’t have it. The running game I’m less worried about. Obviously Michel needs to be healthy as the team was shaky at best on the ground without him, but I think if he gets patched up and we get Barner and White cooking out of the backfield-wise, the latter depending on if we can dial 28 back in the passing game, we should be cool.

Our D is also a fucking mystery. I’ve seen quite a few folks get down on our pass rush/front 4, but check this out:

 

I’ve touched on this in a grab bag but this is something that grinds my gears with Pats critics, especially when it comes to our pass rushers. We’ve had 10+ sack guys like Chandler Jones and Mike Vrabel, we’ve had low-numbers guys who just get pressure. Currently, we’re working with the latter. Maybe our guys are not filling up the stat sheet, but we are putting QBs under pressure, forcing decisions, and capitalizing off mistakes, whether that be turnovers or regaining possession of the ball off punts. So lay off my bezerkers please.

The middle of that line has been up and down. I’ve been a Malcolm Brown stan since day 1 but him, Shelton, and Adam Butler have been Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde. Clean it up guys.

I don’t think the back half gets enough credit for being solid, albet not spectacular. They don’t seem to be asked to play traditional smash mouth, stop them at all costs defense, rather the “bend and not break and make them take 3 points” style we’ve grown accustom to. It just has become a lot more visible in this air it out age of football. Elandon Roberts continues to show he was a great snag, Hightower is Hightower, Van Noy is officially an animal, McCourty and Gilmore are studly in the secondary, and guys like Jason McCourty, Jonathan Jones, and, most recently, John Simon, have had their moments of solid play, although with ones of suckiness to go with it.

To summarize the D, who is next to step up? While our offense seems to be a trust and comfort issue, on D we just need someone to volunteer and say “I got this”. The last guy to do it was Van Noy. We need one or two more. Can Rivers or Wise start wreaking true havoc? Can the second (first in the league) McCourty twin start really locking people down? Can Simon cement himself as a go-to LB? We need someone to put their hand up.

To bring it back to the first paragraph of this rant of a mad man, none of this would matter if the Pats eternally sucked and we had no business being football fans. Year after year they play this game where they put together a great record while slowly getting themselves organized and eventually start cooking as we approach the playoffs and it it exhausting. But with Brady not being a spring chicken and our team looking more listless than normal earlier this season, I am stressed the fuck out about a 6-2 team almost 20 years into a Goddam dynasty and it STINKS. I need Brown/Shelton to be Wilfork, Simon/Roberts to be Ted Johnson, and Hogan to be Topher Playoffs (working on it) right stat now. And you know what? Wiping the floor with Aaron Rodgers and the Packers would be a great fucking start.

 

 

 

 

 

The 300s Bloggers’ Is Nathan Peterman Elite? Fantasy Football Round Up – Week 6

By on • ( Leave a comment )

Welcome back. Let’s first address today’s dedication.

I liked Nathan Peterman coming out of school. Prototypically sized, decent-armed QB from a blue collar school like Pitt. Thought he could be a good spot starter in the NFL, maybe even mold himself into a late blooming starting QB. So far I have been drastically wrong. Not in my evaluation of his talents, no. Take a look at the TD he threw Sunday. Absolute seed. No, the problem with Peterman is he cannot get out of his own way to save his life. If he just “regular sucked”, for lack of better terminology, I think analysts and fans alike would say he has potential. Instead, he throws a stupefying number of pick 6’s. It’s almost a constant at this point. He could go 10-21/200/1 and people would say, “you know what, kid might have something.” But noooope, not Nate, he prefers the 10/21/200/2/4 pick 6’s. Like what the fuck man. JUST STOP IT.

Any way here’s the round up.


Big Z

A play in three acts.

Me with 106 points Sunday at 4.

Me with 111 points and a 17 point lead after Sunday night.

Me after the two-minute warning of the Monday night game when Aaron Rodgers and my undefeated opponent pulled ahead of me for the win.

No bad beats or bad plays this week that will have the league office questioning my competence to run a fantasy football franchise. Just a tough loss to a great team. We’re on to Week 7.

Papa Giorgi

3-0 for the first time since week 1! I’ve never felt more alive. Yeah, my real life QB Josh Allen is dead and the never ending Nathan Peterman experiment rolls on, but at least i’m on my way to making some money. Aaron Rodgers played like an angel last night and I was able to steal the W thanks to a last minute game winning kick by Mason Crosby.

Joey B

Everyone from LA to Boston said Matt Breida wasn’t going to play, so I, much like Mattes and the rest of the “Why The Fuck Did I Pick Jordan Howard” Club, tried to get cute. I took a flier on Alfred Morris for the week. Welp, Breida and some absolute NO NAME played and Morris did not get A. Single. Carry. I got beat. 3-3. I’m not having fun anymore.

Red

So after ripping on Eli Manning all week long for never really being an elite quarterback outside of two hot streaks in years that shant be named, I went against all of my better judgement and started him in fantasy anyways. I was in a bind as my QB was on a bye so it was either Eli, Bortles or Danold. Welp, Eli promptly shit the bed, didn’t throw a touchdown and finished with 11 points. And I STILL WON, mainly because the other guy started the other bum on the waiver wire in Bortles.

Mattes

So, I started Amari Cooper again… I’m now 1-5. I also invested a lot in guys like Jordan Howard, Carlos Hyde, and Keelan Cole. It’s just not working out this year, but at least I traded Antonio Brown for an extra second-round pick next year. This year’s squad is absolute hot garbage, though.

Fortunately, I’m 4-2 in my other league after my opponent started TWO guys who were announced as inactives just before game time. That’s why you always gotta pay attention right up to kickoff, folks. I’ll take the gift, though, and I got both Ingram and Thomas coming back from a bye this week. (Also, how about Sony Michel??!! Kid’s a beasttttt.)

 

Martellus Bennett Does Not Care What You Think

By on • ( Leave a comment )

God, I love Marty.

The guy does not give a fuck about anything, but he still doesn’t say anything too inflammatory. Bill Belichick has always given his veterans a bit of rope to speak their mind, as long as they’re not giving the other team bulletin board material or embarrassing the team (i.e. Welker’s Rex Ryan foot jokes).

Marty feels like he got dogged out by the Packers, in particular the team doctors and the head coach for all but accusing him of quitting on the team once Aaron Rodgers went down. Now did he lose his edge once his HOF quarterback went down and he saw his hopes of another Super Bowl burn up? Yea probably, which is why he likely decided alright well I’ll just get the surgery rather than play through pain for a team that isn’t going anywhere. Not the best attitude, but its hard to totally blame the guy.

In Bennett’s own words, he only mentioned the word “retirement” so the Packers didn’t think he was going to just take the money and run while hanging out on IR. But things got heated between the two sides, Bennett got cut, and he then apparently put out the word to not claim him because he wouldn’t play for your team….unless your Bill Belichick.

“He said he told his agent to tell teams not to claim him, since he wanted to get surgery on an injured shoulder. And even after the Patriots did, he said it took a conversation with coach Bill Belichick to convince him. “When Bill called and said they claimed me, I was like, ‘No [bleeping] way,’” Bennett said, via Phill Perry of NBC Sports Boston. “Then he was like, ‘What’s going on?’ And I told him . . . We had a quick conversation and I was just like, ‘Let me think about it and I’ll call you back.’

Hey man, can’t blame Belichick if guys wanna play here. None of my business how they leave their previous team. If a guy is available the Patriots are going to kick the tires every single time. Plus there is no better motivation than sticking it to your last team, which is what the Pats have thrived on with their player personnel for years. And to the people saying “thats not right” and its unfair.

You know whats not right? Suspending the best quarterback in the league for 4 games and docking the Patriots a first round draft pick for fucking air pressure in a ball. Yes, I did somehow bring this back to Deflategate so you’re welcome.

After this whole fiasco and returning to the Patriots to make 3 catches for 38 yards on just 7 snaps, I’ll leave you with this, the latest A+ quote from Marty.

“Like I told the guys, ‘In order for the Phoenix to be reborn, he must first turn to ashes.’ ”

The Packers Aren’t Signing Colin Kaepernick Because Teams Don’t Sign New Starting QBs Mid-Season, Not Because of His Political Views

By on • ( Leave a comment )

Yahoo – The Green Bay Packers might have lost franchise quarterback Aaron Rodgers for the season, but coach Mike McCarthy is definitely not interested in adding free agent Colin Kaepernick. McCarthy was posed the question by a reporter Monday and his answer was an emphatic “no.”

You want the truth?

You weep for Kaepernick and you curse the Packers. You have that luxury. Mike McCarthy has neither the time nor the inclination to explain himself to you.

And the truth of the matter is Colin Kaepernick is a middle of the pack QB, who has not taken so much as a practice snap in months. We’re heading into Week 7. Regardless of who is available as a free agent, teams never sign street free agent QBs this far into a season to be their starter. It just doesn’t happen. Especially not when McCarthy, who fancies himself a strong developer of QBs, has two backup QBs on the roster that he brought in.

So bringing in Kaepernick, regardless of his off the field headlines, isn’t a realistic option. Not to mention, the guy wanted CAKE to sign with any team; not backup money.

Take a local example with the Patriots. Last year, with Brady suspended and Jimmy Garoppolo hurt, the only healthy QB the team had on the roster was 3rd string rookie Jacoby Brissett.

The Pats worked out a couple of guys but instead of bringing in someone like TJ “Yates of Hell”, the Pats opted to go with NO ONE. They legitimately preferred nobody over signing a street free agent at QB. They literally had Julian Edelman as their emergency QB as a better option over a guy who had zero grasp of the Patriots playbook. Its the same thing here. You think McCarthy would rather bring in Kaepernick and just throw him out there like its a goddamn game of Madden than play one of the guys he’s groomed behind Rodgers over the years? Its nonsense to even suggest that as a realistic option.

Now, I hope Kaepernick gets a shot somewhere because there are definitely worse QBs in the league, but there are also QBs in the league who aren’t rocking the boat with their employer and aren’t demanding top line starter money. Fair or not, thems the facts.

Hoodie Melo Has Been Spotted at OKC Thunder Media Day

By on • ( 1 Comment )

Knicks fans everywhere just pounded their desks with their fists when they saw this photo because as we all know, Hoodie Melo is as close as Melo will ever get to Olympic Melo, who is one of the best players in the world. And I mean if James Jones can rock a hoodie under his jersey and dominate the NFL then who’s to say Carmelo Anthony can’t do the same thing in the NBA?