Tag: Matt Stafford

If the World Ends and Tom Brady Does Leave, Who Do You Want at QB for the Patriots?

By on • ( 1 Comment )

I hate even typing these words, it’s like saying Candyman five times in the mirror; just don’t. But what if Tom Brady does leave? What are the options and who do you want under center in Foxborough? With the legal tampering period beginning on March 16th and Free Agency beginning on March 18th, we should have an answer one way or another in the next 2 weeks. If Brady does decide to take his talents elsewhere, the Patriots have a host of different options available, some more attractive than others. Lets break it down.

  • Options Currently on the Patriots Roster
    • Jarret Stidham
      • Drafted in the 4th round last year, the Patriots clearly saw something in Stidham who has impressed in the pre-season, but most fans remember him as the guy that blew the spread with a pick six against the Jets in relief duty of Brady last season. It’s too early to say if Stidham is the guy or not, but I don’t think his presence will prevent the Patriots from exploring any and all other options.
    • Cody Kessler
      • Kessler has been running the scout team on the Patriots practice squad and despite Belichick’s odd fascination with the career backup, he’s not the answer.
  • Trade Options
    • Andy Dalton
      • I hate to besmirch a fellow redhead because these are my people, but I just cannot get behind the Patriots starting the post-Tom Brady era with the Red Rifle. He’s had some decent seasons and has been dealing with a TON of injuries over the years to his top weapons in AJ Green and Tyler Eifert so maybe take his lack of sustained success with a grain of salt. He’s only thrown more than 25 touchdowns twice in his career though and hasn’t done it since 2013 so he hasn’t exactly been lighting it up. Whether thats more of a reflection on him or the disaster that is the Bengals is debatable, but this isn’t the guy I am pining for.
    • Matt Stafford
      • This one gained steam towards the end of last week when Patriots color commentator Scott Zolak floated it out of nowhere on 98.5 so it probably has at least been discussed by the Pats. Stafford has never gotten a ton of love, but has always been a legitimate (fantasy) quarterback despite playing for a desolate franchise in the Lions. His contract is also surprisingly cheap based on the way it’s structured so it definitely makes sense for the Patriots if they can get Stafford for a reasonable price. However he did BREAK HIS BACK last year though so proceed with caution on this one. With the No. 3 pick in this year’s draft the Lions could be thinking the same thing and looking to move on from Stafford so keep your eye on this one.
  • Free Agency
    • Marcus Mariota
      • Alright, hand up, I am a Mariota stan and watched as many of his games at Oregon as I possibly could so this may be a little biased. Granted, he’s not the only Heisman winning QB to flame out in the NFL (looking at you Troy Smith), but I honestly think with Josh McDaniels and Bill Belichick coaching him the Pats could turn him into a legit starter. Like most scrambling QBs, Mariota hasn’t been the same since he broke his fibula in Week 16 of the 2016 season. Before that though he was pretty solid with 26 TDs and 9 INTs in his first full season before his TDs and Yards dropped off for 2+ seasons resulting in him getting benched. With a 7.5 Yards per Attempt he definitely doesn’t air it out, but even Brady was 26th in the league at 6.6 Yards per Attempt last season. In fact, you know what Brady’s average Yards per Attempt is for his career? That would be the same exact 7.5 as Mariota so you obviously don’t need to air it out to be successful in this offense.
    • Philip Rivers
      • I wouldn’t hate it as Rivers is only one season removed from making the Pro Bowl with 32 TDs and 12 INTs before getting upset by the Pats in the playoffs. He has thrown 15+ INTs six different times though so the Pats may not be keen on a 38-year-old cowboy.
    • Jameis Winston
      • Winston most likely gets franchised by the Bucs unless Tampa somehow convinces Brady to sign there. It would be a hard sell to bring in a guy that just threw 30 picks too. So despite Bruce Arians’ complete inability to hide his disdain for Winston, he may not be on the market unless Brady shocks everyone and moves to the strip club capital of the world.
    • Ryan Tannehill
      • Similar to the situation in Tampa, the Titans will probably franchise or workout a deal with Tannehill unless Brady signs with the Titans, which is the reported favorite outside of New England. Tannehill was excellent last year as were many of his former Dolphins teammates who all seemed to thrive after Miami traded them away. After never posting a rating higher than 94 in six years as the Dolphins QB, Tannehill had a rating of 117.5 last year for the Titans. That’s an absurd improvement. So I wouldn’t bank on Tannehill all of a sudden having turned into an elite QB.
  • Dip Into the Draft
    • Tua Tagovailoa
      • Barring a massive and unforeseen slide in the draft, the Pats would have to trade an absolute haul of picks to move up far enough to snag Tua so this ain’t happening.
    • Justin Herbert
      • The former Duck could go anywhere from No. 5-25 depending on how his combine and interviews go so it’s possible the Pats could trade up if he slides a bit, but I doubt they lust after him enough to move up too much.
    • Jake Fromm
      • This is the guy that I think makes the most sense for the Pats. An undervalued, smart guy who doesn’t have a monster arm but can still make all the throws, ran a pro style offense and has a ton of experience with 43 starts at Georgia. As someone who’s projected to go late in the first (or later), Fromm is someone the Pats could take without overextending themselves.
    • Jordan Love
      • A big arm, scrambling ability, and a ton of potential without a lengthy track record, Jordan Love is basically the 2020 version of Josh Allen. The Patriots have met with the Utah State QB so there is some interest, but this isn’t the type of player Belichick typically wants under center.
    • Random 6th round dart throw
      • Hey it worked for them once right?

Those are the best options barring a blockbuster move nobody sees coming, but the list of Free Agent quarterbacks is LITTERED with bums so pick your poison. If you don’t like any of the names above you can always pick from the likes of Case Keenum, Colt McCoy, AJ McCarron, Blaine Gabbert, Blake Bortles, Geno Smith ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ENOUGH. The point has been made.

An intriguing option nobody has mentioned is Kyle Allen, who had a pretty good stretch filling in for Cam Newton before falling back to Earth. The Panthers have said they are planning to roll with Newton in 2020, but Carolina may be wary of trading a solid backup with Newton’s health far from certain. Allen’s numbers weren’t exactly lights out finishing with 17 TDs, 16 INTs, 3,322 Yards, and an abysmal 6.79 Yards per Attempt, but he could be a dark horse candidate for a young QB the Pats think they can coach up.

So lets all just pray to the old gods and the new that Tom Brady doesn’t go anywhere, but if he does who do you want under center next season?

A Dialogue On a Manufactured High School B-Ball Team

By on • ( Leave a comment )

Joey B and Red react to the news that LeBron James and Dwyane Wade will both have their kids transferring to the same high school to play ball together. Time really is a flat circle, huh?

Joey B:
Hey Red,

To kick things off, where on the scale of Jonathan Moxon’s Dad – Stage Parents do Bron and Wade fall here in terms of winning vicariously through your, in this case, high school basketball player?

Red:

This is simply LeBron reading all of my criticisms of him and the NBA at large for its way too chummy AAU culture and doubling down on the death of competition. Where’s the killer instinct? Idk maybe its because I was always the smaller, less skilled, underdog on all my teams, but I would much rather be leading my hometown public high school to a state title than teaming up with a bunch of other rich kids to go 82-0. Its not like LeBron Jr. needs the exposure for recruiting either!

Joey B:
Ya you make a good point. What is there really to be gained by going undefeated and beating these teams with 6’1 Centers 148-26? It’s like Bron shot DWade a “hey know what’d be fun text?” text and DWade didn’t have the heart to say “…why?” (There was no way this was Wade’s idea).It’s insane that this concept has trickled down to H.S sports though. Whose next? Would you want to see Matt Stafford Jr. chuckin to Megatron III?

Red:
At least LeBron Jr. didn’t get completely cucked like his dad and transfer to D Wade’s son’s school. But this is how Hollywood became a thing. All the best of the best just moved to one part of the world and claimed it for themselves as the entertainment capital. Sounds great right? Except when it creates a gigantic bubble of entitlement and they’re all worse off for it. Learn some adversity guys, it’ll help you in the long run.

Joey B:
Haha totally. It’s almost like Lebron and Wade are becoming a two-headed Lavar Ball. Our sons are playing TOGETHER. In HIGH SCHOOL. Then in COLLEGE. Then in the NBA.

It would be hysteeeeeeerical if either/or/both didn’t pan out and they ended up on the fringes of Lithuanian professional basketball.

Red:
Man not to go off in a completely different tangent, but Lavar Ball is a FORCE of nature. The man just speaks things into existence. He predicted his son would get drafted by the Lakers, he predicted on Colin Cowherd’s show the dumpster fire we’re seeing with Magic and the Lakers now, and he even had me believing all three sons would play in the NBA together. Well once the Big Baller Brand shoe company imploded I had to take a step back, but you just know Lavar will not stop. As a marketing man, I respect it.

Anyways, way to put mountains of pressure on your kids guys. I don’t really know how good these kids are supposed to be so I could be totally wrong here, but just look at Michael Jordan’s son, who’s name is Jeffrey Michael Jordan by the way because MJ is a fucking psychopath. He played at Central Florida and was never going to live up to his dad’s legacy, but at least MJ didn’t shine a goddamn light on the kid just waiting for him to fail in front of millions of people.

Joey B:
Lavar Ball is a categorical piece of shit. /thread.

But in general, even if the kids are supported and nurtured in the right way, imagine the pressure. I mean look what happened to Vince Wilfork’s kid (not linking to it out of respect, you have google). Even if the parent does everything right, if they were a fucking superstar it cannot be easy trying to grow and thrive in that shadow. Hence why really not a lot of start athlete’s kids have made it.

I can think of Prince Fielder and the Long brothers….and that’s it. Kind of a startling statistic.

Red:
I’ve read rumors about how LeBron wants to play until he’s 40 because it would give him the opportunity to play with his son, assuming he’s actually good enough to reach the league. Sort of like Ken Griffey Sr. playing with Ken Griffey Jr. and hitting back to back bombs. I’m not a huge LeBron fan obviously, but it would be pretty cool to see an old ass LeBron Sr. throwing an alley oop dunk up for LeBron Jr.

Joey B:
Yaaaa I can’t stand him and even I have to admit that’d be pretty cool.

Speaking of which zero percent chance Vlad Jr.’s team couldn’t do with a cannon armed outfielder off the bench. Maybe Sr. can’t hit anymore but they still could be on the field at the same time COME ON.

Red:
Love Vlad, but he aged like a can of beer in my trunk. Guy was hobbling around like he was on stilts by his early 30s.

TLDR; Moral of the blog? Have professional athletes for parents and you’re golden!

Joey B:
Or emotionally damaged beyond repair.

The 300s Bloggers’ Week 15 Only Big Z is Left Fantasy Football Round Up

By on • ( Leave a comment )

So Big Z is the only one to submit a blurb today, which I’m guessing means everyone else is dead. And by dead I mean their season is over. RIP in Peace. Idk how Red expects us to get a successful #sports blog going when no one can even fuckin play fantasy football. O well.

Editor’s note: I have submitted my piece for the fantasy blog, dripping with contempt.

P.S – Google “Artie Lange’s nose. My God how is this poor guy still alive?

Joey B

I’m still setting line ups, etc. as I can still get a $20 high score of the week. Instead I got beat by 30 thanks again to Gronk and a still useless Matthew Stafford. (Idk how he actually played, but like Red, Stafford has fucked me all season).

Big Z

We’re on to the Third Place Game. For the second straight year.

I lost 74-66 in an ugly semifinal matchup. Not much to say, other than Tevin Coleman scored 24 points on my bench.

If I finish in fourth place, and out of the money, for a second straight year I’m going full tilt Week 17 and dumping a thousand bucks into Draft Kings.

Red

I got smoked this week entirely on the back of third string running backs. Never seen anything like it. My opponent had the Chiefs’ third stringer Damien Williams (naturally I had Spencer Ware) and the Steelers’ backup to the backup runningback Jaylen Samuels. As expected those two had 50+ points between the two of them. My fantasy season is sheets.

 

 

The 300s Bloggers’ James Develin is a Playmaker Fantasy Football Round Up – Week 13

By on • ( Leave a comment )

Welcome back. Another week and another 3 days of the highest of highs and lowest of lows. We laughed, we cried, we screamed at the tv/computer screen, terrifying dogs and neighbors alike. Fantasy amiright?!

The two most important things to note about this past week in the NF of L was that A.) Tom Brady has more career rushing yards than Sony Michel. Which is just embarrassing; and B.) James Develin is becoming a legitimate red zone threat which, laugh at it or not, frees up other skill position players for opportunities. In the words of Aubrey, “YEEEaaa, be very afraid.”

Red

I got NINETEEN points from my kicker this past week to just barely squeak out a win. Alas, I missed the playoffs by one game, primarily because Matt Stafford hosed me last week and multiple times throughout the season. But thats what happens when you click the wrong thing and accidentally draft an asshole in the 8th round. They say a pictures worth a thousand words and Yahoo helped me summarize my season in just one image.

Papa G

Blogger’s Note: That was seriously all Papa G submitted. Please keep him in your thoughts.

Big Z

The Z-Men won 121-98 in Week 13, led once again by Christian McCaffrey who put up a cool 25 points. James Conner iced the match Sunday night with two early touchdowns. The win is my squad’s 6th in 7 weeks, enough to improve to 9-4 on the season and secure a first round bye in the fantasy playoffs.

The bye week is huge because it guarantees me a “bowl game” and a crack at at least getting my money back. Let’s just hope I don’t run up two bills in my bye week and run out of gas down the stretch for a second-straight season.

Joey B

I lost again and am last in both pure record and points for for the year. I don’t know where it all went so, so wrong. Fuck you Matthew Stafford. Fuck you Jordan Howard. Fuck every WR not named Michael Thomas.

Mattes

So I failed to make the playoffs in both leagues, and it was a struggle to get out of bed this morning. For a guy who invests way more time than the average person following fantasy football and searching the depths of the Internet for any and all things related to it – no, seriously, it might be actually be a problem – this one really hurts. It’s not like my teams were all that bad either; I was top-three in points against in both leagues, and I lost two games by less than a point while freakin’ TYING another. I know I sound like a dope making excuses right now, but I picked up guys like Aaron Jones, D.J. Moore, Josh Adams, and Tarik Cohen this year, playing the wire like a fiddle all year long. But in fantasy as well as life, it’s all about who you’re matched up against, and it just wasn’t my year. I can still win the loser’s bracket in each league, starting with a first-round matchup against Red this week in one of them. I guess that’s something.

The 300s Bloggers’ “HAHA EAT IT MANISH MEHTA” Fantasy Football Round Up – Week 12

By on • ( Leave a comment )
Image result for gronk touchdown week 12

The thing about New York sports fans is that they REALLY show up for their own. They think their players, coaches, and, for whatever reason, sports media personalities are Gods amongst men. Like there is a CONVENTION for Mike Francesa fans. To repeat, a sports radio show host has his own convention. It is kind of bizarre and really not relatable for those of us outside of the tri-state area.

Which is why it really says something that even New Yorkers hate Manish Mehta. He is a troll through and through that is not as much of a troll sports writer as he is a troll writer who decided to apply his trolliness to sports. Gross.

And he recently came for Gronk. Said he was washed and done and sad and depressed. Well, unfortunately for M-Squared Gronk came back Sunday and the Pats beat the Jets. There was a Gronk-spike and all.

Gronks have 87 lives, motherfucker.

Red

This is it. It took 12 weeks, but I am breaking up with Matt Stafford. After burying any chance I had before the turkey was even on the table with 7 points on Thursday, I am breaking it off. This is likely the last shot I had at the playoffs as even an average performance from Stafford gives me the win. I may just start an empty QB slot moving forward in a silent protest.

 

Joey B

I’m officially out of it so this shouldn’t matter. It shouldn’t matter that I lost a BARN BURNER with a final score of 60-51 (nope, no one forgot to set their line-ups). But I forgot to put in Gronk. Those points would have given me the win. Forgive me big man.

 

Papa G

It’s curtains for my fantasy teams. Shout out to Fournette getting suspended too. Appreciate the self-control. We’ve officially moved into “who should I pick for my keepers” mode. TRASH.

 

Mattes

I’d like to start off this week by apologizing to one Amari Cooper. Since becoming a Cowboy, the man has averaged 17 points a game, which included a bananas 38-point showing on Turkey Day. That performance helped me beat Papa Giorgio this week, finally giving my suddenly resurgent team more than one measly win on the year and potentially playing spoiler for my fellow blogger’s season. I have changed my team name to “Amari’s Resurrection” in his honor. Maybe Oakland really does just suck THAT bad.

A couple “coulda, woulda, shouldas” sank my other team this week. I went for the upside with Lamar Jackson as my QB2 behind Rivers, but the extra 10 from Cousins, who was on my bench, would’ve given me the win. Or maybe playing Aaron Jones over Mark Ingram this week would’ve done it, too. I now need to win this week and have two other teams lose to get into the postseason. I’m literally hanging on by the short and curlies right now.

 

Big Z

With another big win in Week 12, the Z-Men have won 5 of their last 6. Fantasy football isn’t that hard when you get steady quarterback play, contributions from a few wide receivers, and 43 points out of Christian McCaffrey.

A win in Week 13 will lock up a first round bye and a guaranteed crack at some prize money. LET’S GO!

-Joey B
Blogger | Crier | British Television Obsessive| Whiskey Dickist

The 300s Bloggers “Earl Thomas Was Right” Fantasy Football Round Up – Week 4

By on • ( Leave a comment )

O hey there. So we are officially a quarter of the way through the 2018-2019 football season and with that, we are really beginning to see what our fantasy football teams are made of. We are also beginning to see what the waver wire is made of as more and more players go down, forcing owners to try and convince themselves that Senorise Perry is about to have a breakout week. But as we prepare for the return of Julian Edelman, let’s check in with the your favorite amateur typists to see how their fantasy squads did this week.

Joey B

I got fucking washed. Other than the Stafford-Tate connection no one showed up, least of all a certain #87. I even experienced the rare goose egg courtesy of Sammy Watkins last night. Definitely looking forward to rebounding next week when I get Devin Funchess back and slot Cameron Brate (O.J Howard is hurt) in for Gronk.


Red

Finally got a W on the books and it literally took until the final drive of the Monday night game. Demaryius Thomas was really earning his keep as my 5th round pick mustering up 3 points with a little over 2 mins left in the game. Keep in mind that during all this I am down by ONE POINT in my head to head matchup. Less than 2 minutes to go and Patrick Mahomes put the Chiefs ahead so Denver is forced to throw the ball. Thank Christ. With 1:39 to go Case Keenum immediately takes a sack. Good start. I am screaming at my TV at this point. The very next play Keenum completes a 9 yard hitch route to Thomas to nab me the ONE POINT I needed to seal the deal. Fantasy football is legitimately taking years off of my life.

Oh and my TE Tyler Eifert broke his ankle. 


Big Z

I don’t know what’s more remarkable, the points I leave on my bench each week or the fact that I’m still winning in spite of my poor coaching decisions. Either way, I won my Week 4 match up 108-76, and at 3-1 am currently sitting in the 3rd place in my ten-team league. Maybe it’s my “defense.” I’m seventh in points, but have “allowed” the fewest points in the league.

Brandon Cooks and George Kittle really saved my bacon in Week 4 with 24 points each. Russell Wilson was a disappointment with just 7 points, and I’ll finally be giving him the hook in Week 5. Time for some Matty Ice, baby! Oh, and did I mention that my opponent played the Cleveland defense?

Mattes:

S-O-Fucking-S! The Purple Cobras are currently in the midst of their worst season ever, sitting at 1-3 and dead last in the league in points by a cool 30. After getting a combined 11.48 points from Russell Wilson, Jordan Howard, and O.J. Howard, I had absolutely no shot, but my opponent made sure to put up almost 160 on me anway. (OH, and Amari Cooper had another phenomenal game on my bench.) Maybe it’s time for Baker Mayfield to come in and right the ship?

Fell down to .500 in my other league, sitting at 2-2. The week started off blazing hot with Kirk Cousins, but then Michael Thomas also decided to forget how to play football this week. Getting two points out of my FLEX and leaving 17 points on the bench from Sony Michel – the guy who I was originally going to play in my FLEX – didn’t help either, especially when you lose by only seven points. Still right in the thick of it all, though, so I’m not sweating it.

The 300s Bloggers’ Fantasy Football Round Up – Week 2

By on • ( Leave a comment )

Hi Friends.

Week 2 is now in the books and I’d say we are one week away from really seeing what our squads “are”? Don’t you love those questions and answers? “We still don’t know what Jimmy G is.” “We will find out tonight what these 2008 *insert team here* are? But ya, horribly hard to be a T.V analyst.

To go along with Week 2 we have our second addition of the recap of how our bloggers did in their respective league(s). As with Week 1, every blogger has submitted a small blurb on their successes and failures. Let’s get to it…


Papa Giorgio

Well, I got absolutely shellacked this weekend. 0-3 across all my leagues. Fournette being out did not help in the slightest. It will be interesting to see how Josh Gordon does for me now that he’s been traded to the Patriots. I have him in two leagues and if the guy can get healthy and live up to his potential my teams should be able to get back on track in the quest for some titles. Otherwise, if things continue to go south I may have to pull a Vontae Davis and get the hell out of Dodge. 

(Joey B Note: Something about a Bill’s fan drafting the most volatile player possibly in league history makes me happy.)


Big Z

Fantasy football is a prime example of where it is better to be lucky than good. I was thisclose to dropping Chris Hogan in favor of Phillip Dorsett this week. I ultimately decided against streaming my WR/TE flex position and stuck with Hogan after a lackluster Week 1. At halftime it looked like they would both post underwhelming Week 2 numbers, but I was rewarded with two late TDs by Hogan. Thank god.

As I’ve written before, defense should be taken out of fantasy football. Until that happens, though, I will continue to stream defenses in fantasy football. This week I dropped Green Bay to pick up New England. Whoops! Thankfully the move only cost me eight points. After an early defensive touchdown by Green Bay it looked like it could’ve been a whole lot worse.

Up 89-88 going into Monday night, my opponent was done and I only had Russell Wilson left. I thought about benching him, but when’s the last time a QB got negative points? I don’t know, but Wilson made me sweat it out, turning the ball over a few times in the second half. A garbage-time TD put me at the century mark, though, and cemented my Week 2 W.

So with a Brandin Cooks, Christian McCaffrey and a little luck, the Big Z Fantasy Empire is on the board in 2018.


Red

(Joey B’s Note: This first sentence is laugh out loud funny. This is the beauty of fantasy: you can taste the bitterness)

If I have any piece of advice from another dogshit start to my fantasy season it’s this; stick to the guys you drafted as long as you can. After a disastrous 4 INT game in Week 1, I benched Matt Stafford for Jimmy G and Stafford went off for 32 points compared to Garoppolo’s 20. Naturally I lost by just a hair under 12 points this week.

I also lost in my other league wasting a 27 point, 14 catch, 100 yard performance from Christian McCaffrey. So all in all I am a combined 0-4 to start the fantasy season. Oh and I bet the Patriots to cover on Sunday while I was down in the great state of NJ and obviously lost that bet. So my gambling advice is radioactive right now. Stay away.


Joey B

The bitch of fantasy football is that sometimes what happens in real-life outweighs fantasy. In this case, Gronk having a bad day fantasy-wise was not nearly as bad as that Patriots game overall. I still not only won but had high score thanks to, in part, another MONNNSTER game from Michael Thomas. Still, seeing that 2 points (or so) from Gronk and what it really represented hurt.


Mattes

If it weren’t for O.J. Howard benefitting from even more FitzMagic this week, it would have been a SAD day for the Purple Cobras. Granted, I did leave over 65 points on the bench this week, which included three guys with over 17-plus points each, each of whose performance would have been better than the four-point abomination I got from Ryan Grant in my flex. (Hey! He had nine targets in Week 1!) But alas, it would not have mattered anyway, as my opponent was the league’s high-scorer this week. Fortunately, those bench guys look like they could be forces moving forward, so hopefully I can start to right the ship in Week 3 after a rough (but not insurmountable!) 0-2 start.

As far as my other league goes, I was able to pull out a two-point victory thanks in large part to Captain Kirk Cousins, who went absolute H.A.M. sandwich in Green Bay on Sunday. Pairing him up with Philip Rivers in a two-QB league proved to be quite the boon this week. Michael Thomas also continues to be a PPR juggernaut, and the fact that Chris Carson didn’t get a carry in the second half killed any chance my opponent had of winning going into what was looking like a very advantageous Monday night scenario for him. If David Johnson, Larry Fitz, and the Cardinals offense ever wakes the hell up, I’d be feeling pretty damn good about this squad. I’ll take a 1-1 start for now.