Tag: MCU

The Snyder Cut is Finally Here and It Delivers

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I originally intended to watch Zack Snyder’s definitive edition of Justice League in multiple viewings due to its ungodly 242 minute runtime. But I have to admit, once I got going it sucked me in and I ended up banging out the entire #SnyderCut in one sitting because it delivers big time.

The difference between the Joss Whedon theatrical release (which some people that are more clever than I have dubbed Josstice League) and the Snyder Cut is night and day. Granted it’s twice as long, but it’s broken up into six parts (not including the prologue and epilogue) which lend some credence to the rumors that HBO Max considered releasing it in weekly installments rather than all at once. Now if you’ve never seen the theatrical release you may just think this is a four hour masturbatory act from Snyder and I wouldn’t necessarily fault you for that assumption, but this just may replace Blade Runner’s Final Cut as the definitive example of a Director’s Cut.

So we all know by now that DC was trying to replicate the massive success of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, which continues to run laps around DC with the also massive success of WandaVision on Disney+. However, this is 13 years in the making with the first Iron Man coming out all the way back in 2008 followed by The Incredible Hulk, Iron Man 2, Thor, Captain America THEN the first Avengers movie.

The biggest misstep DC made was releasing a very strong Man of Steel movie, an OK Batman vs Superman movie (that I often forget Wonder Woman is actually in), and then immediately jumping into Justice League with the addition of Aquaman, the Flash, and Cyborg. With only two of the six characters fully developed it was kind of a tall task to jump straight into team movie, introduce a new villain, and then bang it all out in 2 hours. Now I’m not saying you need to painstakingly recreate every single character arc because we all know Bruce Wayne’s parents were gunned down in front of him as a kid, and Peter Parker’s Uncle Ben was killed because of Spider Man’s carelessness. We don’t need to see that explained all over again, but Batman, Superman, and Spider Man are the three biggest superheroes in the entire history of the comic book genre. Not everyone knows the back story of Aquaman (all my knowledge is from the Vinny Chase movie in Entourage), the Flash (unless you’re a big CW fan), or Cyborg (best known from the cartoon Teen Titans, IMO).

In the original theatrical version all three of those characters get put on the back burner so you never really have time to care about them. With the opportunity presented by a four hour movie, Snyder really dives into the back story of all three, particularly Cyborg, and gives you a reason to want to see these characters succeed. Plus it also does a much better job teasing the Aquaman and Flash standalone films.

It’s hard to get into too much detail as to why the Snyder Cut is so much better without spoiling a lot of what made the cut so enjoyable so I encourage you to watch it before Twitter spoils it. I can say that the quippy Joss Whedon dialogue got axed, the motivations of many characters have changed (for the better), Darkseid is actually, ya know, in this movie, and gone is the unsightly red sky plastering the final act in the original. The new cut is overall darker (both visually and thematically), more violent, more serious, and is even rated R (yay F bombs!). So it is much truer to Snyder’s original version. But to be fair even if he had finished the movie originally, Snyder would have never been allowed to release a four hour R-rated tentpole superhero flick. So while what he has accomplished here is huge, it’s important to keep in mind that he was able to move the goal posts a bit, a luxury which he or Whedon would not typically have had.

I cannot believe how different this movie is after Snyder allegedly filmed only four minutes of additional footage in his reshoots. Granted Snyder had a whole series of DC films planned for what was dubbed the Snyder Verse so there was a lot left on the cutting room floor that he was able to just pick back up. There are also tons of easter eggs and threads (like what actually happened to Robin) that are finally pulled on here just to tease viewers in the name of fan service. 

Now comes the inevitable question of “what if?” What if Joss Whedon never came on board and Snyder had been able to finish his original vision? Would the DCEU have never collapsed on itself and would we already be discussing Justice League 3, the Ben Affleck standalone Batman film, and a potential Jared Leto Joker spinoff? DC has to have known (hoped?) this would be the case and provide new life to an IP that was on ice after critical and commercial indifference. It is kind of a bummer because Snyder fully pulls back the curtain to show us what he was working on and we’re unlikely to ever see that vision realized. The new Knightmare dream scene that is towards the end of the movie (rather than earlier on in the original) is a perfect example of this. But hey, I never thought the internet would ever be able to bully a major studio into investing tens of millions of dollars into a reshot, recut version of a failed tentpole film, and here we are.

I really want to kick down the doors at DC right now and give them the Herb Brooks Miracle speech about great opportunity. That’s what you have here tonight, boys. I’m sick of hearing about what a great cinematic universe Marvel has.

Through their own failures DC has accidentally stumbled into an amazing opportunity here with the multiverse. They can finally stop trying to replicate the Marvel Cinematic Universe. It didn’t work, it happens. With the multiverse DC can simply make all of these random one off films and individual stories with different actors and just punt on a shared universe until they decide to bring everyone together again. It’s something DC has already test run on its various TV series with the Crisis on Infinite Earths event where they even brought back my dude Tom Welling for a brief Superman cameo. If rumors about the upcoming Flash standalone movie are to be believed then DC is really going to lean into that exact mindset with the multiverse as multiple Batmen are allegedly set to appear in the film.

Watching the Snyder Cut is a trippy experience because even the opening minutes are entirely different from the original version with previously unseen footage. I felt like I had Alzheimer’s because in my head I know I’ve seen Justice League multiple times but now it’s…different.

Admittedly, my viewing of the Snyder Cut may be seen through rose colored glasses after 3+ years of the internet lobbying for and then somehow actually getting a completely recut and reshot version of beloved IP. And it worked! Now do Game of Thrones.

Is Marvel Eyeing Shia LaBeouf to Play Iceman in an X-Men Reboot?

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The Loop – According to We Got This Covered (the same site that correctly first reported a She-Hulk show at Disney Plus and a live-action Robin Hood remake at Disney), Marvel is hoping to land LaBeouf to play Iceman in their new X-Men reboot. Previously, MCU was supposedly considering LaBeouf to breathe life into Moon Knight (a rich vigilante character similar to Batman), and while the site reports that LaBeouf is still in the running for that role, the powers-that-be are supposedly more interested in his take on the X-Men character. And, considering LaBeouf’s previous criticism with doing big-budget studio films, this could be a nice way for him to ease back into things without having the pressure as a lead.

Yes, 100 times yes. Count me in. I stan for Shia LaBeouf because he has the makings of a truly elite actor. He’s got action chops (Transformers, Indiana Jones), he’s got Indie chops (Honey Boy, Peanut Butter Falcon), he’s handsome but not overly good looking, he’s already gone off the rails and been to rehab, and he is just generally a weird dude. Not to mention the man can tell one HELL of a drinking story.

LaBeouf is a more of an artist than a traditional actor, which is why I am fascinated by just watching what the guy does. He’s just as likely to be chopping it up on late night TV as he is going to yoga in the outfit of a homeless man.

In all seriousness though the dude is yoked these days and should have no problem convincing people he is an all powerful mutant.

Disney needs to nail this reboot and they know it. I am a huge X-Men fan and I enjoy all of the movies over the last 20 years, some of which were excellent (X-Men 2, Logan, First Class) whereas others were an unmitigated disaster (X-Men 3, Apocalypse). So in this reboot they have to do it right.

I know it’s going to be a massive popcorn flick as the next Marvel tentpole franchise, but all of the best Marvel movies had excellent actors like Robert Downey Jr. and Chris Evans anchoring them in reality. X-Men in particular needs great actors because the source material is so much more than just people with super powers; it’s outcasts kicked to the fringe of society because of their biological differences. Stan Lee was not afraid to paint the obvious parallels between the X-Men and the battles of similarly ostracized groups fighting for justice like the Civil Rights movement, LGBTQ etc. And this wasn’t just Stan Lee being a woke social justice warrior on Twitter, he was a vocal supporter of these issues dating back to the 60s.

“Let’s lay it right on the line. Bigotry and racism are among the deadliest social ills plaguing the world today,” he wrote in December 1968. “[I]t’s totally irrational, patently insane to condemn an entire race—to despise an entire nation—to vilify an entire religion. Sooner or later, we must learn to judge each other on our own merits. Sooner or later, if a man is ever to be worthy of his destiny, we must fill our hearts with tolerance.”

So Disney cannot just make another action flick here, they need legit actors who can tackle the breadth of the source material.

As you probably know Iceman has appeared in several X-Men movies already because he is a sick character with a truly awesome power, but he was such a puss in the original movies. He was portrayed like a mopey Abercrombie model pining over his girlfriend rather than the Ice God that he is. He was finally a bit more badass in Days of Future Past in 2014, which the beard probably helped to be honest.

He finally used his iconic ice surfing powers in that movie too.

Buttttttt only got about 90 seconds of screen time before (spoiler alert) biting the big one.

It’s probably going to be a few years before we get any new X-Men movies anyways, maybe even longer before someone attempts to fill the massive shoes of Hugh Jackman’s Wolverine. But rumors like this are encouraging because it shows you Disney and Marvel are taking this reboot seriously. The X-Men movies always had a ton of potential, but were undone by poor direction or shitty storytelling or continuity issues, most of which should be righted by the MCU.

What Are the Top 5 Movie Props of All Time?

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I saw this tweet going around the other day posing an excellent question: What is the greatest movie prop of all time? Maybe you’re going with Marty Mcfly’s self lacing shoes or perhaps George Clooney’s Batsuit with the nipples? Here are hands down the Top 5 movie props of all time.

5. Beatrix Kiddo’s Hattori Hanzo sword

A Hattori Hanzo sword is like a modern day Valyrian Steel sword, which didn’t make the cut because GOT isn’t actually a movie. Goddamn was Kill Bill a great movie though. Watching both 1 and 2 are worth the double feature binge if you’ve never seen them. Basically a Hattori Hanzo is the rarest, sharpest, and best kind of sword ever produced. “If on your journey you should encounter God, God will be cut.”

4. Darth Vader’s Lightsaber

Truly one of the most badass characters in cinematic history. There are dozens of Star Wars characters and their lightsabers to pick from and I almost went with Mace Windu’s purple saber or the double sided Darth Maul version, but it’s hard to beat the original bad guy.

3. Happy Gilmore’s Putter

Maybe it’s the white trash in me, but I’ve always loved the Happy Gilmore hockey stick turned putter. It’s practical too as Adam Sandler had to actually sink putts with it. The putter may not be regulation, but I’m not exactly on the PGA tour so I think I can sneak the extra club in my bag. Nothing would please me more than sinking a birdie putt on 18 after shooting in the three figures on the first 17.

2. Mjolnir

Sure I have the plastic replica and a Mjolnir keychain, but give me the real deal! I don’t expect the hammer to come when called like a Golden Retriever, but this is THE conversation piece to stick up on your mantle. I would be shocked and disappointed if Chris Hemsworth didn’t steal this prop after production on Endgame wrapped.

  1. Vin Diesel’s 67 Pontiac GTO from XXX

Long before Samuel L. Jackson was even a twinkle in Nick Fury’s eye, this Vin Diesel store brand James Bond flick introduced us to the greatest movie prop of all time. XXX came out when I was 13 so obviously I was the exact target demo, but I also saw XXX 3: Return of Xander Cage in theaters with Papa Giorgio when I was 27 sooo…

Say what you want about this (delightful) movie, but if you don’t enjoy XXX you are someone who takes themselves entirely too seriously. Now lets get to the best part of the movie: the 1967 Pontiac GTO. This is just the sweetest ride these eyes have ever seen and I’m not even a car guy. This is the best (and most practical) movie prop of all time. For some reason I couldn’t find the scene where they unveil the GTO on YouTube in English so you’ll just have to make do with Spanish. De nada.

So whats your top movie prop of all time?

Am I the Only One Physically Falling Apart From All This Inactivity?

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Since you can only do so many sit ups in your living room, the at-home workouts have fallen off precipitously. Meaning the majority of my exercise comes from walking the dog or a quick (read: slow) mile jog around the neighborhood while I gasp for air behind a mask. So the inactivity has shot way up while physical exercise has taken a nosedive. It also doesn’t help that my iPhone reminds me every other day how big of a piece of shit I am for taking less steps than normal, working out less than normal, and also using my phone for like 7 hours a day.

You would think not working out and lifting heavy weights and hopelessly trying to look respectable for bikini season would mean *less* injuries, but nope. As I often like to say I am aging in dog years and I seem to be physically falling apart due to all the inactivity. I somehow injured my shoulder getting *into* bed a couple weeks ago and I’m pretty sure I just have that now.

Doing some research into why it has become a conscious effort to open a heavy door without destroying my shoulder, the best self diagnosis I could come up with was Bursitis. And now I can’t stop laughing because I never even knew what Bursitis really was when Johnny Knoxville claimed to have it all those years ago.

So thats it for me folks, when the gyms finally do reopen in Boston and they tell us to jump back into our old workout routines, I’ll be sitting here like (old) Steve Rogers at the end of Endgame.

Good Guy Chris Hemsworth Gives Autograph to a Dude Chasing Him On a Motorbike While Filming “Extraction”

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As soon as the Patriots trade down yet again tonight I am giving up on watching the draft and turning on Chris Hemsworth’s new Netflix movie that just dropped. Whether Hemsworth can sustain a career outside of the MCU remains to be seen, but this looks like a pretty sweet action flick. Oh and it seems like Thor is a good guy to boot!

“You know, I always thought that Matt Damon was like a Streisand, but…I think he’s rockin’ the shit in this one.”

Tom Brady Just Partnered With the Directors of THE AVENGERS to Launch a New Production Company

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For proper experience, press play on the music below and then read on.

Tom Brady’s first venture into the original content world, Tom vs Time, was excellent as it was an insightful, behind the scenes look at one of the greatest athletes of all time. Hell, even Jets fans enjoyed that mini series. My only complaint was how short the entire thing was. Six episodes that were each about 10 minutes long. By the end of it I was like a junkie looking for his next fix. Well, it seems we only need to chase the dragon for a bit longer as Tom Brady is partnering with the Russo Brothers, the directors of THE AVENGERS, to launch his new company, 199 Productions. You can imagine the excitement from the guys who spent weeks of their lives re-watching and reviewing the entire MCU catalogue last year.

Tom Brady + the architects of the MCU creating new original content together might literally tear a hole in the space time continuum with how good that sounds. With $22 Billion in gross box office sales over the last 13 years, the Russo’s know what their doing in terms of storytelling. The only thing missing from this partnership is Kevin Feige, but I won’t get greedy here. I would watch just about anything 199 Productions puts out there with the Russo Brothers.

I was hoping for a Tom vs Time season 2 at some point, but this seems like it will slide into that slot. Tom Brady’s *other* media production company Religion of Sports, which he co-founded with Gotham Chopra and Michael Strahan, has created a bunch of content, but most of it has been focused on random subjects like Steph Curry or soccer in developing countries. I need more Brady TV if we’re being honest.

Now is it mildly concerning that Tom Brady announced the creation of a new production company just days before his free agency begins? No…not at all.

All Sorts of DC and Marvel Rumors Are Swirling and I’m Having a Nerdgasm

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I am a nerd when it comes to this stuff so take these casting and movie rumors and inject them into my damn veins.

“[Sources] have informed us that inspired by the success of Joker, WB is now looking to do more standalone, dark and mature DC movies. And one project they’d like to make happen is a live-action Batman Beyond with [Michael] Keaton in the lead role.“

There is a rumor floating around that Michael Keaton could be in line to star as Bruce Wayne in a live action Batman Beyond movie. Batman Beyond was one of the best takes on Batman without rehashing the same old origin story that everyone goes back to. It focused on an old Bruce Wayne who used to be Batman with the mantle of the Dark Knight going to a young Terry McGinnis in the not so distant future. If that doesn’t give you a pants tent, well the internet has already started designing fake posters for this non-existent movie.

Then there are people who are doing the mental gymnastics around how this project could already be in the works. Theres been a TON of mystery and secrecy around Robert Pattinson’s upcoming Batman movie and mostly because nobody knows what its about. Especially after Ben Affleck’s script got thrown in the trash. So some people are theorizing that Pattinson could actually be playing Terry McGinnis with Keaton sliding in to play the older Bruce Wayne.

Sign. Me. Up.

And if you really wanted to fuck with people you could bring back Mark Hammil, who voiced the Joker in Batman the Animated Series and in some of the video games, for the fourth iteration of the Joker in the pasts decade.

Also, unrelated yet hilarious, a picture of Henry Cavill’s mustachioed Superman has finally leaked and it is glorious. Honestly, for all the dark tones these DC movies tried to force down our throats, maybe a man of steel with a flavor savor wouldn’t have been the worst thing.

Now that we’ve gone through DC’s latest rumors, lets head on over to the big kid on the block in the MCU.

In his new role as Creative Czar of Marvel, Kevin Feige is reportedly rebooting all of the Marvel TV shows that had mixed results. This comes as no surprise after each of the Marvel Netflix shows was slowly and methodically cancelled. Some like Daredevil and the Punisher were legitimately great shows and others like Iron Fist I could not make it through the pilot. Now its a real shame that Marvel plans to reboot these shows because it just makes the whole Netflix Marvel era feel like a waste of time. (Ironically enough thats been DC’s fundamental flaw forever) HOWEVER, there are now rumors circulating that while Feige will indeed reboot these shows he wants to keep some of the key actors in these roles.

“Our sources – the same ones who recently brought us accurate scoops such as Wiccan will debut in WandaVision, General Ross will appear in She-Hulk and the Inhumans will show up in Ms. Marvel – say that the Man Without Fear is likely to be played by Charlie Cox again. From what we understand, Feige still wants Cox as Daredevil, Jon Bernthal as the Punisher and a few more actors to reprise their roles, but for the most part, the TV characters will all be recast and whether they’re brought to life by a new performer or not, they’ll all be rebooted, with the super producer basically wanting to wipe Marvel TV’s efforts from continuity/existence.”

That is nothing more than a whisper in the wind, but that would be incredible and not to mention entirely unprecedented. I can’t think of one instance of a show or movie getting rebooted with the same actor returning to the role. That would be like Jared Leto and his weird, hoodrich version of the Joker reprising his role in the Todd Philips’ dark, grounded, gritty standalone film.

Don’t mess with me, internet message boards. These rumors are too good to not be true.

 

Dread It, Run From It, Pirates’ Joe Musgrove’s Infinity Gauntlet Glove Arrives All the Same

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Dread it, run from it, destiny arrives all the same.

Despite having all 6 Infinity Stones at their disposal, Joe Musgrove and the Pirates are still in last place and 13 games out of the playoffs.

This is an A+ glove design though and just goes to show how much more exposure MLB could gain amongst younger viewers if they just lightened up a little bit. Obviously this glove would never fly in a real game, but Musgrove was allowed to break it out for Players Weekend. Normally Players Weekend is basically just an excuse for the MLB to act like a couple wild and crazy guys…

…by putting nicknames on the back of team jerseys.

That is of course unless you are a humorless stiff who hates fun like the Yankees’ Brett Gardner, who simply put “Gardner” on the back of his Players Weekend jersey.

He’s probably a fun guy to talk to at parties.

Anyways, if MLB would relax some of its stuffier rules, let players express themselves, and oh maybe chill out with the Gestapo social media policy that takes down every video that makes its way onto the internet, then they would be on to something. I will say, as bad as MLB is at social media, no one is worse than FIFA. I’ve only gotten two C&D’s in my Twitter career and they both came from FIFA after tweeting out videos of players scoring and celebrating. The horror.

 

Details Emerge on What Ben Affleck’s Standalone Batman Script Was About Andddd I Want That Movie Instead

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Indiewire – In a new interview on MTV’s “Happy Sad Confused” podcast, cinematographer Robert Richardson reconfirmed Affleck’s Batman script was finished and not exactly beloved by everyone involved in the film’s development. Richardson was hired by Affleck to film his Batman standalone film…

As for what Affleck’s script entailed, Richardson revealed the Batman franchise was going to Arkham Asylum to dig into Bruce Wayne’s own insanity. The cinematographer said Affleck’s film would have showed “the darker side of Batman,” which is quite the statement given how brooding Christopher Nolan’s interpretation of the superhero was in his “Dark Knight” trilogy.

“Well, [Affleck] was going more into the insanity aspects,” Richardson said. “So I think you would’ve seen something a little darker than what we’ve seen in the past and more into the individual, who was inside Batman — what element may be sane and what element may actually not be sane. So he was entering into a little more of the Arkham, as you know, he’s going into where you keep everyone who was bad, everyone that shifted and Batman. And so that whole aspect was sort of, it was very fascinating to go to the darker side of Batman.”

Give me *that* movie. What the hell Warner Bros? Its like these studios and DC Comics just cannot get out of their own way. Now I don’t want to shit on the yet to be released Robert Pattinson Batman movie because who knows it could be awesome, but this Affleck script sounds way more interesting than rebooting Batman for the third time in a decade.

It’ll be hard to ever top The Dark Knight, which for my money is arguably the greatest superhero movie ever made because it doesn’t rely on CGI and dozens of characters.

At its core The Dark Knight is a crime thriller with a heavy focus on psychology and mental health. As much as I loved Christopher Nolan and Christian Bale’s version, I really enjoyed Ben Affleck’s take on the character. He was a much angrier, morally ambiguous, jaded, and more violent version of the Batman than we’d ever seen before.

Now who knows the real story behind why the Batfleck is no more, but there was always drama around his standalone film. Maybe starring, writing, and directing was too much for Affleck or maybe he said to hell with it when he realized he didn’t actually have the creative freedom he thought he would. Either way this movie was on life support for a long time before he officially retired as the caped crusader in January. This movie sounds like it could have been incredible though. Similar to The Dark Knight‘s exploration of psychology and mental health, but taken to the next level with the physical embodiment of Arkham Asylum. Theres just so much meat on the bones and so many directions they could have went with that entire idea. I literally own The Psychology of Batman book so I may be a bit biased in my opinion, but I know for a fact that we could have seen something seriously compelling with Affleck’s script. Not even just with the criminals, but with Bruce Wayne himself. You obviously have to be pretty fucked up to lurk around city rooftops at night fighting bad guys while dressed like a BAT. The Batman movies have never really explored that too much other than the typical backstory of Bruce’s parents being murdered in front of him. Batman Begins delves into that a bit, but its more of how he became Batman whereas this could have been why.

After the flame out that was Justice League, it seems DC has decided to explore individual stories in standalone flicks that aren’t actually connected. We’ve got the upcoming Joker coming out later this year, which is already getting some early Oscar buzz, and that movie reportedly will not be connected to the larger DCEU at all.

I don’t expect this Pattison Batman role to be teaming up with the Justice League any time soon either.

The problem DC always had was they were continuously rushing projects along despite poor vision/execution. They seemingly thought they could just slap together a couple of movies and catch up to Marvel despite the MCU’s painstaking, carefully laid plans. People forget that Marvel released five movies over the course of 4+ years before teaming everyone up in The Avengers. And to be honest, 3-4 of those movies kind of stunk. If The Avengers didn’t completely nail it we could have seen the MCU shuttered a LOT quicker than originally anticipated, which is why Thanos isn’t even referenced until Thor.

Whereas DC released Man of Steel in 2013, Batman vs Superman: Dawn of Justice in 2016 and then Wonder Woman in 2017, immediately followed up by Justice League five months later. World building this was not. It didn’t help that Man of Steel never even made hint of a larger world of heroes and then 3 years later it turns out Batman has been running shit for years right across a literal bay of water from Clark Kent so that always came off as a shoddy retcon. Oh and that movie made the unforgivable decision to cast Mark Zuckerberg as Lex Luther and had one of the most ridiculous convoluted plots with the dumbest turning point (which Snyder still defends) that I can remember seeing in a movie.

Batman vs Superman could have been so so good. The trailer and the visuals taken out of context from that movie are still gorgeous. Just the perception of Bruce Wayne that Superman is actually evil and he needs to destroy this god-like figure to protect the world is so intriguing.

Especially after 40 years of Superman being portrayed as this Eagle Scout who flies in to save the day. Buttt the movie itself was a microcosm of the DCEU’s overarching issues and ended up being kind of a mess.

Wonder Woman was actually pretty good and was probably the only reason Justice League faired as well as it did. Except Justice League was another disaster in terms of vision and execution. In a vacuum its fine, I watched it on a flight and it kept me entertained, but it jumps around, its dark then its humorous, the villain was terrible and forgettable, and it seemed more like a comic book artist’s wet dream than a major movie studio’s tentpole franchise. Obviously a lot of that is likely due to the film having to switch directors midway through production after the death of Zack Snyder’s daughter. Ironically enough The Avengers mastermind Joss Whedon took over, but this movie was an amalgam of bad ideas thrown together skating by on IP alone.

So I’m holding out hope that DC has seen the error of its ways (Guys, not everything has to have a connected universe) and the casting of Pattinson has potential because he’s actually been grinding away as an indie character actor for the last decade. Who knows what direction Reeves will go in, but its tough not to wonder what could have been with Affleck giving it one more go.

The 300s Marvel Cinematic Rewind Presents: Phase Three

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11 years. It’s been more than a decade since Tony Stark “built this in a cave with a box of scraps.” Avengers: Endgame is officially in theaters and I’ve been hiding from Twitter for the past week, minus a few ribbings at the expense of Mr. John Tavares and the Toronto Chokealeafs. Endgame is the culmination of everything in the MCU, a definitive end for many of the characters we’ve been watching since the days of George W.

As a final installment of the The 300s Marvel Cinematic Rewind, we wanted to touch base on the films of Phase Three that we haven’t covered yet, which also now apparently ends with Spider-Man: Far From Home. (Make up your mind, Kevin Feige!) So let’s get into it.

Dr. Strange

Giorgio: To be honest, Dr. Strange did nothing for me. I love Cumberbatch, but this film to me just seemed too much of a Christopher Nolan knockoff. The film is almost a literal combination of Batman Begins and Inception. One of these was good enough for me. 5/10

Red: This movie was a trip and one I did not expect to enjoy. I punted on it for so long that I actually ended up watching it for the first time on Netflix. I have to admit though I really enjoyed it. As Kyle mentions above it pretty much is like someone threw the scripts of Batman Begins and Inception together, but I loved both of those movies so it was right up my alley. Cumberbatch is excellent as the smarmy Dr. Strange and a really solid addition to the Avengers. 7/10

Guardians of the Galaxy 2

Giorgio: I liked it, but wasn’t nearly as good as the original. It was also really depressing. I’ll take as much Rocket as possible though. Bradley Cooper is an actor’s actor. 7/10

Red: I know Kyle is a bigger Guardians fan than I am, but I just could not get into GOTG2. The music as always was excellent (like the opening scene featuring Mr. Blue Sky), Rocket steals just about every scene he’s in, but I hated the “Ego is a planet” storyline and I’m a big Kurt Russell guy. But with all the aforementioned factors propping it up, this is still an entertaining flick. 7/10

Spider-Man: Homecoming

Giorgio: This movie was incredible. First Spider-Man I’ve liked since probably the original with MTV Best Kiss Winner Tobey Maguire. Tom Holland is a perfect Peter Parker, and the film does a great job of not taking itself too seriously. Shoutout to Michael Keaton as Vulture, essentially playing Birdman twice within the span of a few years. 8/10. Also, Aunt May 10 out of 10.

Red: Kyle described it in the best way possible; Tom Holland is a perfect Peter Parker. Michael Keaton was a kickass villain in a truly surprising twist and a legitimately frightening Vulture. Oh and Aunt May is a rocket. 9/10

Thor: Ragnarok

Giorgio: Possibly my favorite film of Phase Three. After two boring as hell solo films, Ragnarok takes a completely new approach to a stale franchise and gives it new life. It was hilarious, weird, and charming all at the same time. Tessa Thompson is a pleasure to watch on screen. Oh, and Jeff Goldblum. Horniest/smoothest man in Hollywood. 9.5/10

Red: This was one of the best comic book movies ever because it not only had top notch popcorn flick action, but it also was very self aware in how ridiculous it was (i.e. the opening scene/rock montage). Ragnarok also managed to work in Hulk perfectly without Marvel having to go out on a limb on ANOTHER Hulk standalone movie, despite how many people wanted a true Planet Hulk movie. I’ve always been partial to Thor despite it not being the strongest MCU trilogy (neither is Iron Man), but Thor 3 kicks all the asses and sets us up nicely for Infinity War, which starts minutes after Ragnarok ends. 9/10 

Black Panther

Giorgio: Had zero idea what to expect, but came out really enjoying it. Great cast, great story. Michael B. Jordan is one of the best actors currently working. Also made over a billion dollars, so no surprises how universally liked this movie is. 9/10

Red: Same as Kyle I had zero idea what to expect out of this movie. Chadwick Boseman was pretty badass in Civil War so I knew they had a shot, but Michael B. Jordan stole the goddamn show as, in my opinion, the best villain in the MCU. 8.5/10

Avengers: Infinity War

Giorgio: For a film that has about 50 main characters, they did a great job not making the plot stroke-inducing to follow. Thanos finally shows his ass after a decade of sending his minions to inevitably just do it himself. We get a great Peter Dinklage cameo, always a pleasure to see him. It was great to finally see the beginning of the end. 8/10

Red: Bravo! Bravo! One of the few movies I made sure to see opening weekend because you have about a day before Twitter eggs ruin the movie for you and about a week before Yahoo just straight up starts posting spoilers in the headlines. As Kyle said this movie did an incredible job balancing dozens and dozens of characters that you legitimately cared about as the world building of Kevin Feige really started to pay dividends. This movie could have been 4 hours long and I wouldn’t have moved an inch. 9/10

Ant-Man and the Wasp

Giorgio: Fuck this movie. 2/10

Red: Very forgettable. All I remember is the villain that can phase through walls, yet is slowly dying. Also, if we’re being  honest I’ve always disliked Evangeline Lilly for how she cucked Jack on LOST, but I admit thats not exactly fair. Paul Rudd is a treat to watch per usual and the movie introduces the Quantum Realm which I think we all expect to be one of the keys to Endgame. So decent movie, but very forgettable. 6/10

Giorgio: I….never saw this movie. Guilty as charged. I’m sure it was swell though, right? Nothing like shoehorning in a last minute character a month before the grand finale. At least I heard there’s an orange cat in it named Goose. Rating N/A

Red: Unlike Kyle, I paid 14 of my hard earned Schrute Bucks to go see this last weekend because I didn’t want to be completely lost when a Deus Ex Machina write in comes out of nowhere to save the day in Endgame. While I was less than excited going into this move (I just got a very Green Lantern vibe with the fighter pilot turned super hero with bad CGI), it wasn’t bad. Nothing great, nothing terrible. A de-aged Samuel L. Jackson (good CGI) carries the movie, but Jude Law is a great character/foil in Capt. Marvel. Some hamhanded naming conventions (Mar-Vel? Really?) and the lazy explanation for where Poochie, er I mean Captan Marvel, has been for the past 20 years leads to an OK, but highly skippable cinema experience. 6.5/10

Now I just need to make it to Sunday afternoon without someone spoiling Endgame for me. Do what I did kids, mute anything and everything related to Avengers on Twitter and stay off the news sites. We’re in the endgame now…