Tag: Patriots

Dont’a Hightower Done for the Season. Suddenly Improving Patriots Defense is Now in Trouble

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SI – New England Patriots linebacker Dont’a Hightower has a torn pectoral muscle and will miss the rest of the season, reports NFL.com’s Ian Rapoport.

This Patriots team is falling apart at the seams. First it was Julian Edelman blowing his knee out and now its our defensive captain in Hightower. In the first year of his new contract too, what a goddamn bummer. This will be the first time that Hightower, who has a reputation for missing time, will miss more than 2 games in a row as a Patriot. So now the Pats will have to scramble to shore up yet another hole on their roster.

If theres any silver lining at all its that this injury happened a few days before the trade deadline. Not like theres a Pro-Bowl linebacker out there to be had for cheap, but it gives the Patriots way more options than if this injury happened next week.

I think Belichick secretly strokes it to situations like this though. He fucking HATED every minute of this pre-season when people saying the Pats could go 19-0. But, take away his best receiver and his best defensive player?  Now we’re cooking with gas. People are doubting us now, saying we don’t have the personnel. Stephon Gilmore’s a bum you say? MEET JOHNSON BADEMOSI! Oh Hightower’s hurt? BRING IN CASSIUS MARSH! Edelman went down? I HAVE FIVE RUNNINGBACKS ON THIS ROSTER!

The guy just loves playing checkers especially when its on All-Madden mode with an injury plagued team. Belichick loves being in the trenches just putting out fires; thats where his genius really comes into play. If we’re being honest, anyone could have fell ass backwards into Tom Brady in the 6th round or known to take Vince Wilfork in the first round. Most guys though aren’t able to craft an entire roster and keep the train moving down the tracks while the engine’s on fire. As fictional Miami Dolphins GM Larry Siefert once said in Ballers: anyone can fill the top or the bottom of a roster, its those guys in the middle that set you apart.

NBC Goes All-Madden Mode for Camera Angle in Patriots Falcons Game

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The fog came into Gillette fast last night and after a while you really couldn’t see a damn thing on TV, which must have sucked for the poor sap who dished out $200 bucks to sit in the 300s and couldn’t see shit.

As soon as NBC switched to that Sky Cam angle though I got a sudden rush of dopamine and I had no idea why. This new camera angle they finally switched to after an hour of trying to watch the game through the clouds just seemed right. And then it dawned on me. This is Madden. This is the same angle I’ve been playing football with for 15 years. This is the view I had when I first learned what Spider-2-Y-Banana was, or just how many clickers I could get my roommate to smash by running the perfectly timed HB Screen. Spread em out and go No Huddle for an entire game. This just feels right. NBC, do yourself a favor and get this angle worked into every game as much as you can. Subliminal advertising at its finest because right now I am jones-ing for some Madden.

 

Is Jimmy Garoppolo Insane for Asking for this at Dunkin Donuts?

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So Patriots All Access teased an upcoming segment about Jimmy Garoppolo’s first trip to Dunkin Donuts, which can border on a religious experience for a lot of people in Boston. Welp, swing and a miss for ya boy.


A vanilla long-john? A what? Is that code for drugs? Are you trying to score some smack at Dunkies, Jimmy?

I remember going to school down in CT where it was a mashup of New England, New York, and New Jersey kids so there was plenty of occurrences like this. People would look at me like I was having a stroke when I said “lets go to the packy.” So I get it, but Jimmy my man, this is nonsensical stuff. We’re gonna have to get the heads of Chicago together and talk about this. Grab Kanye, Chance, and Carl Winslow so they can put a stop to this before it goes too far.

Mr. Kraft Does It Again! Makes Fire Flames Sneakers Out of Super Bowl LI Footballs

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My goodness. Just when I think Robert Kraft has outdone himself with his footwear, he does it again. He’s created maybe the greatest sneaker of all time. Forget Yeezys, Bobby Kraft is the hottest footwear designer on the streets. JUST LOOK AT THESE.

The man has taken actual footballs from the greatest comeback in Super Bowl history and turned them into fire flames footwear. Incredible. I still need to get me a pair of RKK Air Forces, but at least those are available for purchase. These things are like a rare Pokemon; I know I’ll never get a pair yet I need them. It’s like acid in my mouth. Hook a blogger up, Mr. Kraft.

Tom Brady Now Holds the Record for Most Wins in NFL History

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With his 187th regular season win, Tom Brady passed Peyton Manning and Brett Favre to become the NFL’s All-Time wins leader.

Normally after years of deep playoff runs I wouldn’t take too much solace in regular season records, but with 5 Super Bowls on top of that its more than acceptable to stop and smell the roses on this one. Tom Brady, by just about every statistical metric, has no equals.

Thats right, this guy:

went from the 199th overall pick to the all-time winningest player in NFL history. The goddamn GOAT. Not too bad.

Over the years theres been plenty of stories about Tom Brady’s rise and all the work he’s put in, but its hard to beat the gigantic Fuck You to the 6 QB’s taken ahead of Tom Brady that was The Brady 6.

And why is Tom Brady the Greatest Of All Time? This is why.

Forget the Madden Curse, Sports Illustrated Has Tom Brady in Its Sights

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Well this is problematic.

The Madden Curse has pretty much been disproven in recent years, but this, this is concering. Tom Brady is on pace to get sacked more than he ever has before (at 40 fucking years old no less) and now we have the Sports Illustrated cover legit hunting people down. All 3 of these guys are out with significant injuries, probably for the rest of the season. So stay woke guys, this has me nervous.

Ezekiel Elliott, Suspended AGAIN!

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ESPN – A federal appeals court cleared the way Thursday for the NFL to impose a six-game suspension on Dallas Cowboys star Ezekiel Elliott over domestic violence allegations, siding with the league in the latest high-profile fight over its ability to punish players for off-field behavior. In a 2-1 decision, the 5th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals panel in New Orleans granted the league’s emergency request to set aside an injunction and ordered a district court in Texas to dismiss Elliott’s case. The NFL announced that the suspension was effective immediately, though further appeals were possible and the Cowboys are not playing this weekend.

As a guy that used a First Round pick to keep Ezekiel Elliott in my Fantasy Football league this year, I just need to get something off my chest.

Alright, now we can move on.

The NFL really is the goddamn WWE these days. Just drama week after week, storylines all over the place. The last two years was was Tom Brady and Deflategate with the Patriots trying to fight city hall (and losing). Now we got this.

I’m actually pretty shocked at this turn of events. As we talked about on The 300s Podcast recently, I really did not think that the NFL would be able to get this overturned and Zeke would be able to play all year. Basically just kick the can down the road until next season, similar to Brady.

The NFLPA’s new playbook seems to be lets just challenge everything in court and keep the NFL constantly in the news with shitty headlines until the league comes back to the table to negotiate player punishment.

HA! Silly me for thinking Roger Goodell would give up his dictator level of power so easily.

Now the crown jewel of my fantasy team, Ezekiel Elliott, is suspended once again. Full disclosure, if Zeke did what he’s accused of doing he’s obviously a scumbag. BUT, if he didn’t and Roger Goodell just tanked my fantasy season then I’m gonna flip my goddamn desk.

Yesterday news broke at the ripe old time of 5:01 pm as I was leaving my cube job. So I had to run to the waiver wire and deal with Sophie’s Choice of whether to pick up Darren McFadden (has been a healthy scratch all year) or Alfred Morris (has actually played football this season). I pulled the trigger and went with Morris, but I’m sure the Cowboys will turn to a guy who couldn’t get in uniform to be the bell cow back moving forward because fantasy football is a goddamn crapshoot.

And of course the Cowboys are on a bye this week so I have to wait another 9 days to see who the hell is gonna get the rock for Dallas.

Lets Gamble! NFL Week 5

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Overall Record (14-16)
Last week (9-6)

Another week, another one of the worst beats I’ve ever seen in a football game with the ending of that Kansas City game. Just ruthless. As always, all of our betting lines are courtesy of the Westgate Las Vegas SuperBook so blame them if the numbers change. Its that time once again to start playing fast and loose with our paychecks. Its Week 5 in the NFL, LETS GO


New England Patriots (-5.5, 55.5) at Tampa Bay Buccaneers
I picked the Pats to cover and cover they did.

Sunday, Oct. 8
1 p.m. ET

New York Jets at Cleveland Browns (-1.5, 39)
There’s no way you’re going to actually put money on the Browns as a favorite are you? I sure as shit am not going to. I’ll take the Jets here.

Carolina Panthers at Detroit Lions (-3, 44)
Coming off their walkoff win over the Patriots, the Panthers have some momentum heading into Detroit. But the Lions are looking legit this year sitting at 3-1 in first place in the NFC North. It seems the Panthers are slowly figuring out the best way to use Christian McCaffrey with Jonathan Stewart together though so I’m taking the Panthers to cover here.

San Francisco 49ers at Indianapolis Colts (-1.5, 43.5)


Tennessee Titans (NL) at Miami Dolphins
No Line for this game, so nothing to see here.

Buffalo Bills at Cincinnati Bengals (-3, 38)
Call me crazy, I’m taking the Bills here. I like Tyrod Taylor to have a big game against the struggling Bengals.

Los Angeles Chargers at New York Giants (-3.5, 44.5)
A battle of two 0-4 teams. Woof. I’ve been picking the Chargers all year and they keep disappointing so its hard to rely on them here. Giants are in the same boat, but with a fully healthy Odell Beckham I think they finally get on the board here. I’ll take the G-Men to cover.

Jacksonville Jaguars at Pittsburgh Steelers (-8.5, 44)
Steelers are pretty big favorites at (-8.5) so thats asking a lot, but it is the Jaguars. I can definitely see Pittsburgh winning by 10. Fournette’s been solid in his first year rushing for 285 yards and 3 TDs, but Big Ben is rolling with Antonio Brown whos got 30 catches for 388 yards and a score. So I’m taking the Steelers to cover the big spread.

Arizona Cardinals at Philadelphia Eagles (-6.5, 45)
Eagles look like they’ve found their QB of the future with Carson Wentz and while I’m still bummed about Short Guy Hall of Famer Darren Sproles going down, Philly is still rolling along. Not a huge fan of old man Carson Palmer, especially with the non-existant run gam post David Johnson, so I’m taking the Eagles to cover.

4 p.m. ET
Seattle Seahawks at Los Angeles Rams (-2.5, 47)
You gotta be shitting me? I know the Rams are off to a 3-1 start, but I refuse to take them as favorites over the Seahawks on a (-2.5) spread. Put some respeck on Seattle’s name. I’m taking Dangeruss and the Seahawks here.


Baltimore Ravens (NL) at Oakland Raiders
Seems to be a lot of No Lines this season, soo nothing to bet on here.

 

Green Bay Packers at Dallas Cowboys (-2, 52.5)
Its hard to bet against the Packers, who are 3-1 on the season going against the 2-2 Cowboys. The Pack just continue to plug and play guys like Aaron Jones and not miss a beat, but I like Dallas here. Feed Zeke all night long and win by a FG, I’ll take the Boys.


Kansas City Chiefs (NL) at Houston Texans
Another game with No Line. Moving on.

Monday, Oct. 9
8:30 p.m. ET


Minnesota Vikings (NL) at Chicago Bears
No reason to watch MNF if theres No Line. Carry on.

The Patriots Win! The Buccaneers Cover! We All Go Home Happy!

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Are people listening to me yet? Are you making money yet? In tonight’s Patriots Pick Em I was not exactly overflowing with confidence about our boys. With the Pats being a (-5.5) favorite coming off a walkoff loss to the Panthers and still having the Patriots defense I felt that was a little rich and had the Bucs covering.

“Even with Brady having one of the best starts of his entire career, the guy can’t play defense. So while I’m not saying the Pats are necessarily gonna lose, I don’t see them winning by a touchdown or more. I think if anything they squeak by with a FG or less so I’m picking the Bucs to cover.”

What happened? The Bucs hang around and score a late TD with just over 2 minutes left to bring that Pats lead down to 5. Very, very close to blowing everything to hell, but as John Sterling would say THEEEE BUCCANEEERSSSS COVERRR!!!

Patriots Pick Em Week 5

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I’m writing this after the Red Sox just finished getting bent over by the Astros so I’m a little bit jaded right now. So tonight on the American tradition that is Thursday Night Football Color Rush, the Patriots are a (-5.5) point favorite over the Buccaneers….and I don’t feel great about that line. (As always, all of our betting lines are courtesy of the Westgate Las Vegas SuperBook so blame them if the numbers change.) The Pats defense has obviously looked like shit. Well, no actually they’ve looked like a defense on pace to be the worst defense in NFL HISTORY. Alan Branch got left at home and now Gronk is out. That is not a great equation especially on a short week. Even with Brady having one of the best starts of his entire career, the guy can’t play defense. So while I’m not saying the Pats are necessarily gonna lose, I don’t see them winning by a touchdown or more. I think if anything they squeak by with a FG or less so I’m picking the Bucs to cover.

PS – I saw Rich Keefe tweet earlier today the payoff of an anti-Boston parlay today and I’m kinda wishing I took that right about now.