Tag: Super Bowl

Jarvis Landry Says the Browns Can Win the Super Bowl. And I Can Be an Astronaut Too

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CBS Sports – With a completely revamped team, the Browns have generated a ton of buzz this offseason — buzz that will undoubtedly only increase when Hard Knocks premiers Aug. 7. One of those new players — wide receiver Jarvis Landry — has already bought into the hype.

“You’ll be lucky if we don’t score 40 on you,” he said in a feature with Sports Illustrated. “If we get everyone playing to their potential, we can win the Super Bowl this year.”

Now we’re just getting into semantics. I mean, technically he’s right. It is “possible” the Browns *can* win the Super Bowl.

They are eligible for that opportunity. But lets not confuse what we can do with what we will do. I *can* be an astronaut. Technically possible. Probably a lot more realistic if I could do long division without my phone and didn’t get nauseous on planes though.

As always, there’s an Entourage quote for that.

Jarvis Landry: “Whats it matter? We wanna do it.”
Ari Gold:

According to NFL.com “Eventual Super Bowl champions average 12.0 wins per season.”

The Browns haven’t won 12 games over the last FOUR YEARS.

Sure, they added Landry, Tyrod Taylor, Josh Gordon (maybe?), No. 1 overall pick Baker Mayfield, Georgia RB Nick Chubb, and others. But are those guys worth 12 Wins Above Replacement? I think not.

I am hella excited to run naked bootlegs with Baker Mayfield and chuck bombs to Landry and Gordon in Madden ’19 though and thats all that really matters.

In Defense of Dan Shaughnessy

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On most days I’d agree with Joey that Dan Shaughnessy’s act has gotten old. The trolling. The smugness. The recycling of columns. The flagrant flip flopping. But every dog has its day. Today was Dan Shaughnessy’s day.

If you’re a Patriots fan and you say that you are satisfied with Bill Belichick’s previous answer on why Malcolm Butler didn’t play in Super Bowl 52, you’re lying. The “we have to make the decisions that we feel are best for the football team” routine wasn’t new, but it never rang more hollow. From the outside, until we find out more it seems like Belichick pissed away a Super Bowl over personal bullshit. And had a lot of pissed off players to patch things up with over the offseason.

I’m not here today to try and take down Bill, though. He’s still the best coach in the league, and he doesn’t owe anyone other than Robert Kraft an explanation of what happened with Butler at the Super Bowl. That doesn’t mean I still don’t want to know, though. It could’ve been anyone, but it was Shaugnessy who had the balls to ask the question today.

I often wonder what is the point of sending reporters and cameras to Belichick press conferences. He rarely says anything noteworthy. If you’re going to go, though, at least ask some decent questions. Otherwise just quote the Patriots press releases. I still want to know why Butler didn’t play. I don’t care about left-footed punters. So credit to Shaughnessy for at least trying to answer the most pressing question in Patriots Nation.

Even Tom E. Curran, who has had beefs with Shaughnessy in the past, agrees.

 

Apparently Tom Brady Hasn’t Committed to Playing in 2018. This is My Nightmare

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So after my Patriots blog yesterday telling everyone to RE-LAX, Adam Schefter just told me to go get my shine box.

I’m just going to quickly summarize my emotions in the only way I know how because I’m a socially awkward millennial; using a GIF.

I don’t want to do a full 180 on my take from yesterday because I still believe everything I wrote, but that was also with me assuming the psychotically competitive Tom Brady would compartmentalize whatever bullshit disputes there were going on so he could get back to chasing Super Bowls.

But now Adam Schefter comes in from the clouds to ruin my Wednesday morning commute with a report that Brady hasn’t officially committed to playing in 2018. Does that mean he’s out? Of course not. Does this concern the shit out of me? Absolutely. With all the soap operas surrounding this team for the past 4-5 months, the reported power struggles, the alarmingly open ended finale to Tom vs Time; all of that has been building up and stewing. For a team that has always kept distractions to a minimum (they literally killed Tebow Mania in an afternoon) this, their biggest distraction ever, has only gotten worse. Typically when you keep sparking flint near a powder keg it doesn’t just resolve itself and go away. No, that shit usually blows sky high.

So if Brady comes back and plays then obviously no harm no foul, but the fact that IF he’ll play this season is even a question is a problem. What I really do not want to see this turn into is the modern day Brett Favre saga. That was painful to watch and you know it pissed off everyone involved. But more so, you just know Belichick will shut that shit down like he’s late on the cable bill if Brady waffles on playing. I mean the NFL Draft is next week for christ’s sake. Would it surprise anyone if the Pats said oh you’re not sure if you want to play? Welp we just traded up and drafted a new franchise QB.

Its like Bill Belichick is Arthur Curry

And I’m Bruce Wayne. “Thats not the saying.”

I would hate to see my favorite team and my favorite player break up over this high stakes pissing match just because Bill wouldn’t let Tom’s guru personal trainer into the locker room. This is on everyone by the way, I’m not blaming Brady or Belichick. Together they’re still the odds on favorite to win the Super Bowl. We’re all adults here so lets be better. Thats what they’ve done for 18 years.

In These Dark Days for Patriots Fans I Offer a Market Correction

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With all the hysteria surrounding the Patriots after some viral comments from former players like Danny Amendola and the missed OTAs by Gronk and Brady, I think its time for a little market correction. And no this is 100% not an increasingly on edge Patriots fan trying to force some sunshine into your newsfeed…

Obviously with every hot take artist out there all we here is how Amendola called Bill Belichick an asshole, but conveniently leave out the fact that Amendola in the very next sentence goes on to laud the approach because it was what made them successful, which is why he respects Bill.

“It’s not easy, that’s for sure. He’s an asshole sometimes. There were a lot of things I didn’t like about playing for him, but I must say, the things I didn’t like were all in regards to getting the team better, and I respected him,” he said. “I didn’t like practicing in the snow, I didn’t like practicing in the rain, but that was going to make us a better football team and that was going to make me a better football player. It wasn’t easy, and he’d be the first to admit, at the [Super Bowl] ring ceremony, that it wasn’t easy playing for him. The silver lining was that we were at the ring ceremony.“

Now everyone is freaking out because Brady and Gronk missed the start of OTAs leaving out the fact that they’re voluntary workouts. Literally, they’re workouts, not practices:

And while I still don’t love the idea of Brady missing anything, its not entirely unprecedented. He’s missed some time in OTAs in 08, 09, and 2010. Lets not mention the fact that those were some of the leanest years for the franchise in the past 20 years….

MOVING ON

The point of this blog is to offer a market correction. Lets right set exactly what draws players to this horrible place we call New England, even knowing full well how much of a psycho the guy twirling the whistle on his finger is.

Martellus Bennett recently announced his retirement after an injury shortened second stint with the Patriots. When Bennett was healthy he was an absolute stud and a huge factor in the Patriots winning another Super Bowl. Another shining example of a “problem player” coming to NE and somehow just “figuring it out.” That shit is not a coincidence folks. Bennett actually does a great job of illuminating exactly why this approach is so successful, especially for players that have not been in a similar environment previously.

“Bennett played for five teams in his 10 NFL seasons, but he says the Patriots are different, and that his time with the organization helped prepare him to run his own business. “It was the first team I ever went to where I got an employee handbook,” he says. “And I was like, ‘Wait, what? An employee handbook?’ It was the first place where you felt like, they’re running a business, you’re part of a business, this is your role in the business, this is what we expect from you.”

He adds that he observed a policy of transparency around the franchise: “The thing about the Patriots is the honesty around the building, from top to bottom,” he says. “Everyone is honest with everyone. If someone feels a certain way, they’re honest about it, Bill’s honest about it, he tells you exactly what he’s feeling. Some teams like to deal with issues with players in private, but everybody knows what’s going on, but then nobody knows the result of what really happened, so it creates gossip. With the Patriots, there’s not room for that, because everything is upfront.”

So the Patriots expect a ton from you. In return they are honest (if painfully so), transparent, clear in their expectations, and they lay out exactly what is required to do your job. That sounds simplistic, but its really not. Most businesses in this country don’t even run that way. Most businesses have a fundamental crack in one of those pillars, which creates ambiguity, confusion, resentment, and dissension. The Patriots have a rock solid foundation, which is why they are successful.

Then we have free agents who willingly elect to sign with the Patriots. But why? If so many guys hate it then why do they come here? Because they know by playing for the Patriots they will maximize every single ounce of potential they have as a player. For Jordan Matthews that was too good to pass up.

“I think probably the biggest reason [for picking New England] was I knew this was the best opportunity for me to grow as a player,” Matthews told reporters Thursday at Gillette Stadium. “I had some other teams that contacted me that I visited, but I knew just as a player and as a man — I’m recently married, about to have my first child — I don’t think I’m called to be comfortable. And I knew this would be a great place for me to grow, not only as a player but as a man in general.”

Does this guy sound like a Patriot from Day 1 or what? We continue.

“I feel like it’s so easy for us as people to say, ‘OK, what’s the easiest role, and what’s the path of least resistance?’ And then we look up at our lives and we’re 80 years old, and we haven’t done anything great. And so, In my life, in my self, I’m not looking for the easiest route to make myself look great. I want to always do what’s going to make it harder for me to attain any level of success, so that way, anything I can do has meaning.”

God I hope this dude makes the team.

So as I round the corner heading into 1,000 words my point to everyone reading this is just take a deep breath and RE-LAX. Have things been a bit more rocky since the Seth Wickersham article came out? Yes. Have we started hearing more about the TB12 power struggle, Tom vs Time questioning Brady’s future, and Gronk openly waffling on playing in 2018? Yes, yes, yes. Have we had to watch beloved guys like Danny Amendola sign for more money somewhere else? Yup. But this is the way its always been with the Patriots and for good reason.

So while it may be a Patriots homer kind of thing to say, but I’m going to sit back and let the team do its thing because thats whats gotten them 5 Super Bowls. Having Tom Brady lets the team cover A TON of their deficiencies, but reading those quotes from Martellus Bennett and Jordan Matthews just remind me that this organization is built to be more than just a football team. They’re a business operation.

I Sense Much Fear in You, Patriots Fans

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Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. I sense much fear in you.

A lot of my friends are still pretty pissed off at Bill Belichick for decisions made that may or may not have lost the Patriots a Super Bowl (i.e. benching Malcolm Butler). With all the negative publicity surrounding the Patriots recently fans are seemingly wavering in their confidence. There are a ton of dominoes that will need to fall one way or another before next season, which is what Patriots fans fear most.

Rob Gronkowski could be jumping ship to go hit people with steel chairs.

That would have sounded insane just a couple of months ago, but the longer we go the larger the possibility is that Gronk will walk away from the NFL to join the WWE and chase Hollywood. On the outside looking in that is preposterous because he’s arguably the greatest TE to ever play the game, only 28 years old, playing for an elite team with an elite QB, and coming off one of his healthiest seasons. But he’s also already made tens of millions of dollars and despite his relative health this season, another concussion notwithstanding, Gronk may be starting to think about his mortality. Is it worth it to play a few more years and possibly blow out my knee again, break my arm again, break my back again? People forget just how banged up this guy has been. With the recent run of NFL players retiring young these days it wouldn’t surprise me. It would borderline tragic as a Patriots fan to see Gronk step away, but I wouldn’t fault him.

The Patriots leading rusher Dion Lewis could be gone

Lewis sounded like a guy reserved to a fate of playing in Indianapolis or Tampa Bay next year in a recent podcast with Adam Schefter.

“I love it here…Hopefully it will work out, but at the same time, you can’t really think that way. You have to take care of yourself and your family…At the same time, I’m not putting all my eggs in one basket,” he said. “I know how the team likes to handle their business, and as a running back, you have to make the most of your opportunity…My main thing is just making sure I’m valued. That’s my biggest thing — to make sure I’m valued the way I value myself.”

Similar to many players that excel with the Patriots, Lewis bounced around the league for years before putting it all together and breaking out in New England. It would be a shame to see him leave as the Patriots are nearly undefeated with a healthy Dion Lewis on the field. Thats the key word there though; healthy. While another team may be willing to roll the dice on Lewis’ knees and pay big bucks to sign the RB, I don’t see Belichick doing the same.

Malcolm Butler is gone.

This one’s not even a question. I think Belichick could have burned Butler’s house down and we’d have a better shot at him coming back than we do after Bill benching Malcolm for the entire goddamn Super Bowl. Butler resigning with the Patriots would shock me more than him not playing in the Super Bowl.

Nate Solder is a free agent

He could return to protect Brady’s blind side, which might be the single most important job in all of New England, but he’s also dealing with some very serious real life issues as his young son continues to battle cancer. At some point the commitment it takes to play in the NFL may be more than Solder is willing to sacrifice at this point. I wouldn’t blame him if he walks away to spend more time with his family.

Danny Amendola is a free agent

After taking pay cuts each of the last 3 years, Amendola’s original 5-year contract is up. So while Amendola has clearly demonstrated he is a company man, does he want to play for less than market value yet again? He has carved out a folk hero-esque role here and seems to be BFFs with Tom Brady, so maybe he does, but if someone knocks down his door with a big money offer does that make  him think twice?

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Okay, thoroughly depressed now? Time for some SILVER LININGS!

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Tom Brady is the reigning MVP

Whether you believe Alex Guerrero is the next coming of Christ or if you think the TB12 Method is a total crock of shit, you can’t deny whatever Brady’s doing is working. He’s the goddamn MVP at 40 years old and just threw for 500 fucking yards in the Super Bowl. As always with an older player, I fear the end of the road, but Brady has been so damn good its hard to know if thats coming next year or if he’ll be collecting Social Security checks while under center. Either way, life is good.

Julian Edelman will be back

He has been posting workout videos almost daily and while I cringe watching him sprint, jump, and cut on his surgically repaired ACL, I gotta say he looks great. All that while not even rocking a shirt, impressive stuff.

Dont’a Hightower will be back

The Patriots missed him in a bad, bad way this past season. Relying on the likes of 40-year old James Harrison and signing guys like David Harris (who just retired) to fill in for the likes of All-Pros like Kyle Van Noy. So Hightower will be back next year. Until he gets hurt again. But he will be back!

Brandin Cooks will have a full offseason to work with Tom Brady

Who knows, he may even get invited out to the TB12 Neverland Ranch in Montana to work out with the rest of the receiving corp! A lot of the Boston media was pretty down on Cooks, which I just do not get. Was he 2007 Randy Moss? Of course not, but he was one of the most immediately successful wide receivers Belichick has ever picked up behind only Moss and Wes Welker. Usually these receivers come into Foxborough and are a disaster because they just don’t have it anymore, they can’t figure out the system, or they fall out of Brady’s circle of trust. Joey Galloway, Ocho Cinco, and Brandon Lloyd. In his lone season playing with Brady, Cooks had 65 catches for 1,082 yards and 7 TDs. Not too shabby, now give him 6 months to study the playbook and work with Brady and Belichick.

Fear not, young padawan. The city of Boston is not falling into a sinkhole. The Patriots are still elite and while there are some holes to fill and some air needs to be cleared, they will still be one of the favorites to win Super Bowl LIII. That’ll do, pig.

 

Dexter Manley Rips Tom Brady, Says Joe Montana is the Goat. Wait, WHO?

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NESN – Dexter Manley won a pair of Super Bowls in his day, and when asked a question about the best quarterback he ever played against (mind you his playing career stretched from 1981-1991), he used it as an opportunity to really rip into the New England Patriots quarterback. “People give Tom Brady too much credit,” Manley said, via WEEI.com. “It is a team effort. No. 1, he gets the ball out of his hand quick. He has good mechanics, but he’s no Joe Montana. My daughter could out-run Tom Brady. Joe Montana is the best of all-time. He’s the best passer — him and Dan Marino. That guy don’t fit in those categories. I don’t care what they say.”

So former Washington R-Words defensive end Dexter Manley was on TV discussing who he thinks is the greatest QB of all time.

Dexter scoffed at the idea that Tom Brady is the best to ever do it. Why?  He gets the ball out quick, he has good mechanics, he has 5 Super Bowl rings, but he can’t run fast so I gotta give the nod to Joe Montana here.

Ya know what Tom Brady doesn’t have?


Oh and Dan Marino is better too? The guy with as many Super Bowl rings as me. Makes sense, Dexter.

Sure Brady has had great players around him too. Take for instance Randy Moss, who he played with for parts of 3 seasons (not including the year Brady missed to a knee injury) and never won a SB with. He also has Gronk of course, who is a first ballot HOFer no doubt, but Brady has won 4 Super Bowls without him. Brady’s had 5-star recruits and household names like the 7th round QB out of Kent State he turned into one of the best receivers in the NFL in Julian Edelman. Or the time the undrafted WR out of Texas Tech came out of nowhere and Brady molded him into the most reliable hands on the Patriots. TWICE. Danny Amendola and Wes Welker of course. I could go on and on.

Meanwhile Joe Montana had by all accounts the greatest receiver to ever play the game IN HIS PRIME. The NFL’s all-time leader in receptions, receiving yards, and receiving touchdowns played with Joe Montana for 6 seasons, winning 3 Super Bowls together.

All that and Tom Brady still has him beat by the numbers. Tom Brady has a better career Completion Percentage, TD Percentage, INT Percentage, Passer Rating, more 4th Quarter Comebacks, more Game Winning Drives, and Brady has over 26,000 more career passing yards, and over 200 more Touchdowns than Dexter Manley’s lord and savior Joe Montana.

What about the fact that Brady “gets the ball out quickly” and just dumps it off as Dexter Manley put it? Well Tom Brady and Joe Montana actually have the same exact average Yards per Attempt at 7.5.

Oh and Tom Brady also has more Pro Bowls, wins, division titles, Conference Championships, Super Bowl rings, Super Bowl MVPs, and NFL League MVP awards.

Hey Dexter?

I Have Legitimately Grown Emotionally Attached to Tom Brady and Bill Belichick

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I have grown so emotionally attached to Tom Brady and Bill Belichick I don’t know what I’m going to do when (if) they ever retire. It was similar with David Ortiz; I grew up with these guys. Sure I remember watching the Pats get their teeth kicked in by Brett Favre and the Packers in Super Bowl XXXI when I was a youngling, but I wasn’t really a fully functioning human being until a few years later. We’ve experienced the highest of highs together like 2001 when they pulled off the greatest upset in SB history, going back to back in 2003-04 with the addition of veterans like Rodney Harrison and Corey Dillon to an already stacked team. Of course the Malcolm Butler interception and the 28-3 comeback against the Falcons. And I’ll never forget the lowest of lows. As they say, losing hurts more than winning feels good. The 2007 Super Bowl and David goddamn Tyree who probably sells car insurance now. Mario Manningham and that ridiculous catch in the 2011 Super Bowl. Sigh.

And then of course all the teams in between: the 2006 AFC Championship game collapse against Peyton Manning and the Colts, the 2010 home loss to Ray Rice and the Ravens, the AFC Championship game loss to Peyton Manning and the Broncos in the 2015 season.

I think thats why I literally have found myself becoming emotional these past couple of weeks. Last year it was Tom Brady nearly breaking down at Media Day before the Super Bowl when a little kid asked him who his hero was.

This year its Belichick wearing his dad’s hat to Minneapolis.

The other night I witnessed Tom fighting back tears in his Tom vs Time series when Mr. Kraft gave Tom’s mother a Super Bowl ring as she’s been kicking cancer’s ass. So much dust in my living room.

Its crazy because I’ve never met these guys, but I feel like they’re a part of my family and THAT is why all of this will never get old. People say oh you’ve won enough let someone else have a shot. Not a chance. As the infamous Don Draper once said. I’m not happy with 50% I want all of it.

These Are the Stakes the Patriots are Playing for in Super Bowl LII

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Its almost here. Its the last day of cube life before Super Bowl LII. We’ve had boots on the ground to bring you into the Super Bowl Experience, we’ve provided you with Patriots porn, we’ve got you ready to run through a wall for this team, now its time to really analyze this. What are the stakes? What are the Patriots really playing for here?

I for one will be leaving the office at 5:00 pm on the dot like one of the iron mill workers in the Simpsons.

Its officially Super Bowl weekend. Here are the stakes.

Tom Brady, Bill Belichick, and Robert Kraft are going for their 6th ring together.

Tom Brady is already the all-time winningest QB, he’s already stuffed Joe Montana in a locker. Now he’s looking to take the all-time GOAT title from Michael Jordan. And despite what that walking hot take Doug Gotleib says,

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A win on Sunday makes Tom Brady hands down the greatest athlete of all-time. Big Z already laid out the perfect rebuttal.

Bill Belichick is playing for a fresh paint job on his boat.

Historic radio calls. If the Patriots win Sunday, they HAVE to play the Gil Santos audio right? Like Bob Socci and Zolak have to just turn off their mics and play Gil’s call don’t they? “BACK TO BACK, THREE OUT OF FOUR!”

Tom vs Time will win a goddamn Emmy if it ends with 40 year old Tom Brady winning the league MVP and his 6th Super Bowl ring.

Similar to 2004, the Pats are expected to lose both their offensive and defensive coordinators this offseason, so winning back to back Super Bowls would be a hell of a way to go out for Patricia and McDaniels a la Romeo Crennel and Charlie Weis before them.

Do people realize that if the Patriots win it sets up an opportunity to conquer yet another NFL legendary record? No team in the history of the league has ever won 3 Super Bowls in a row? 19-0 will likely never happen and that absolutely breaks my heart, but winning back-to-back-to-back Super Bowls would likely never be matched.

The mental well being of the annual asshole who got the Super Bowl champions tattoo before the team actually plays the game:

Brady, Belichick and RKK getting up on that podium, accepting the Vince Lombardi Trophy and telling Seth Wickersham, Max Kellerman, Bart Scott, Dan Shaugnessy, and every other click-baiting miserable hater 4 beautiful words:

Some Patriots Porn Courtesy of Colin Cowherd to Get You Jacked Up for the Super Bowl

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Its difficult to see, hear, and read everything going on this week leading up to the Super Bowl, but this Colin Cowherd video below is an excellent use of your time. Cowherd goes into what makes the Patriots so damn successful; they’re a business operation.

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  • “When you watch a Patriots game there is a trust between the fans and the team; they’ll get it right.” [after bad losses] “They immediately fix it because thats what the academics do in life.”
  • “The Patriots are the billionaires of the NFL. They have created a system that is reliable, consistent, without emotion. They are capable of avoiding cultural issues, rule changes, and injuries. They’re not beholden to any one employee. And what they did yesterday is what they’ve been doing for years. A systematic consistent dependable product.”
  • “They don’t lead the NFL in penalties, they don’t fumble, they don’t get emotionally crazy, they adapt constantly and they drive you crazy. And I never grew up as a Patriots fan, but the Patriots aren’t a football operation, they are a business operation.”
    “Look at their Super Bowls, they are a David Tyree helmet catch from 6-1. They don’t blow anybody out. They never have. I’d argue in all seven Super Bowls they’ve been the least talented team, but they’re always the smartest, most reliable, most consistent, most prepared.”
  • “They are not a football team, they’re a business operation. They are boring. So is wealth.”