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My Adventures in Online Gambling

By Giorgio on May 8, 2020 • ( Leave a comment )

Well, it’s the end of Week Eight in quarantine here in New Jersey. Like most of you, i’ve spent the better part of the last two months picking up and dropping an assortment of new hobbies. I got really into cooking for a week. I’ve spent an exuberant amount of time playing Animal Crossing. I bought a Peleton that broke less than a week into having it (what can I say, can’t exercise, my hands are tied). Overall, my mental health has completely deteriorated when it was borderline to begin with. So naturally, what’s the best quick-fix dopamine boost? Gambling.

One of the many benefits of living in the great state of New Jersey is the legal access to online gambling. At first, this hobby only reared it’s ugly head around noon on Sundays during the months of September through February. But since sports have subsequently been cancelled for the rest of eternity, my hand was forced and I switched over to online gaming. Yes, I could bet the few live sports available (the top bets on my sportsbook of choice are currently Korean Baseball, Belarus Soccer, and Russia Table Tennis). Unfortunately, I do not trust my judgement or knowledge on those selections to feel comfortable wagering any sort of real money.

So let me try to live blog this as it is happening. My go to table game in a real casino would be roulette. It’s as straightforward as they come. 36-1 odds on outright bets. They actually use live people to spin the wheel too which is an added bonus. Now I can share my misery with someone else. So here we go. Let’s spend a few bucks.

I started off with just 10 dollars. Can’t go crazy too soon. The girl spinning the wheel is an absolute riot. In the span of 30 seconds she complained she’s underpaid and that the chair she’s sitting in hurts her back. Somehow I actually managed to win on the first spin. A true quarantine miracle. I also fat fingered a 4 corner bet so not thrilled about that.

Next, I tried Blackjack. A true classic. However, this is played against the computer so I probably should have wised up immediately. Got completely smoked in a matter of 5 minutes. Cool. Moving on.

Digital slots. Another dumb move. Might as well just Venmo the casino and save everyone time. Embarrassing display, nothing to see here.

I’ve now returned to Roulette. Hoping for a second streak of luck. New girl working the wheel. She’s currently windexing the ball and the rim of the wheel. What a wild time to be alive.

Live Baccarat now. I’m not going to lie, I barely know how to play this and I only somewhat vaguely know because i’ve been reading a ton of James Bond books during quarantine. Small win here. Nevermind, completely gave it back.

One last attempt at slots. I never learn.

Moral of the story, quarantine needs to end immediately.

Good Humor Has Unofficially Put Me in Charge of Bringing Back Bubble Play

By Giorgio on July 24, 2019 • ( 1 Comment )

There are few things I love more than America, Baseball, and Ice Cream. My family sure, but to be honest it’s kind of close. There’s nothing better than sitting at a game in the midst of summer, watching your favorite team take down a rival while you soak up the sun and snack on a delicious frozen treat. Years back, there existed something that encompassed all three of the key components I named above. I’m talking about Good Humor’s Bubble Play.

I’ll pause to let you reflect as your taste buds take you back to a time of euphoric delights, a staple of the youth of every millennial child from sea to shining sea.

Bubble Play was the perfect summer treat, straight from the ice cream truck circling your neighborhood after you just got done running through the sprinkler. Unfortunately, it’s been years since it’s been available and the world was never the same. Some say the current political climate is due to the lack of Bubble Play, but that’s neither here nor there.

But what if I told you, we had a chance to restore our summers to former greatness?

Good Humor has proposed to me that I come up with a plan to revive Bubble Play.

What’s the plan?

— Good Humor (@GoodHumor) July 23, 2019

The only thing that millennials are better at than making great social media campaigns is reviving products of yesteryear. So I ask you, please use the hashtag #BringBackBubblePlay and show Good Humor just how much you love and miss Bubble Play, and maybe, just maybe, we can save the summers yet to come.

Harry Potter Go Has Officially Launched. Also, Did You Know Pokemon Go Is Still A Thing? Did You Also Also Know I Haven’t Stopped Playing Since 2016?

By Giorgio on June 20, 2019 • ( Leave a comment )

Pokémon Go creator Niantic Labs’ newest augmented reality game based on the Harry Potter universe is available now for both iOS and Android in the US, a day earlier than we anticipated it would launch in the region. The game, called Harry Potter: Wizards Unite, is similar in style to Pokémon Go, asking players to traverse a virtual map overlaid on the real world and collect magical artifacts.

Three years ago I was sitting in a hotel room in Burbank, California when I was reading an article that the creators of Pokemon teamed up with Niantic Labs, a software company from San Francisco, to launch Pokemon Go. The game brought a new angle to the franchise, giving the player the ability to physically go outside and catch Pokemon on a real map fed into the game via Google Maps. Naturally, I downloaded it and caught my first “real” Pokemon from bed, a Growlithe, just to give a middle finger to the system and the concept of “Go”.

After it’s release, I think we as a country were united for the first time since post 9/11. Every single person I knew was playing and having a blast while doing it. Kids were taking to the streets, finally getting off the couch and aimlessly walking with their head down in front of buses and into the middle of the street to catch endless Pikachus, Charmanders, and Squirtles. It was joyous. A few people even got stabbed because they were playing at 4 am in bad neighborhoods. What a rush.

Fast forward three years and I may be the only one still playing. Not only am I still playing, I have a complete Pokedex. I did exactly what the slogan said and I caught them all.

I even caught a Black Charizard, something I was not aware existed until I caught it.

Now how did I accomplish this amazing feat? By taking the “Go” out of the title and downloading a hacked version of the app that enabled a joystick and let me play from the comforts of my own living room. Sure, it kind of defeated the entire purpose. I could have just played the normal game. Alas, my OCD would not allow this.

So now we have Harry Potter Wizards Unite. I myself downloaded it moments ago and can say it’s already been deleted off my phone. Too confusing, don’t have the time. They did apparently pay Daniel Radcliffe to voice Harry Potter again though so that was neat. That’s about as much as I learned though.

So my hope is that in these trying times we collectively return to the streets and once again unite for the latest craze in mobile gaming. Fresh air, exercise, camaraderie. If you need me, i’ll be in bed playing Pokemon.

The 300s Marvel Cinematic Rewind Presents: Phase Three

By Giorgio on April 26, 2019 • ( Leave a comment )

11 years. It’s been more than a decade since Tony Stark “built this in a cave with a box of scraps.” Avengers: Endgame is officially in theaters and I’ve been hiding from Twitter for the past week, minus a few ribbings at the expense of Mr. John Tavares and the Toronto Chokealeafs. Endgame is the culmination of everything in the MCU, a definitive end for many of the characters we’ve been watching since the days of George W.

As a final installment of the The 300s Marvel Cinematic Rewind, we wanted to touch base on the films of Phase Three that we haven’t covered yet, which also now apparently ends with Spider-Man: Far From Home. (Make up your mind, Kevin Feige!) So let’s get into it.

Dr. Strange

Giorgio: To be honest, Dr. Strange did nothing for me. I love Cumberbatch, but this film to me just seemed too much of a Christopher Nolan knockoff. The film is almost a literal combination of Batman Begins and Inception. One of these was good enough for me. 5/10

Red: This movie was a trip and one I did not expect to enjoy. I punted on it for so long that I actually ended up watching it for the first time on Netflix. I have to admit though I really enjoyed it. As Kyle mentions above it pretty much is like someone threw the scripts of Batman Begins and Inception together, but I loved both of those movies so it was right up my alley. Cumberbatch is excellent as the smarmy Dr. Strange and a really solid addition to the Avengers. 7/10

Guardians of the Galaxy 2

Giorgio: I liked it, but wasn’t nearly as good as the original. It was also really depressing. I’ll take as much Rocket as possible though. Bradley Cooper is an actor’s actor. 7/10

Red: I know Kyle is a bigger Guardians fan than I am, but I just could not get into GOTG2. The music as always was excellent (like the opening scene featuring Mr. Blue Sky), Rocket steals just about every scene he’s in, but I hated the “Ego is a planet” storyline and I’m a big Kurt Russell guy. But with all the aforementioned factors propping it up, this is still an entertaining flick. 7/10

Spider-Man: Homecoming

Giorgio: This movie was incredible. First Spider-Man I’ve liked since probably the original with MTV Best Kiss Winner Tobey Maguire. Tom Holland is a perfect Peter Parker, and the film does a great job of not taking itself too seriously. Shoutout to Michael Keaton as Vulture, essentially playing Birdman twice within the span of a few years. 8/10. Also, Aunt May 10 out of 10.

Red: Kyle described it in the best way possible; Tom Holland is a perfect Peter Parker. Michael Keaton was a kickass villain in a truly surprising twist and a legitimately frightening Vulture. Oh and Aunt May is a rocket. 9/10

Thor: Ragnarok

Giorgio: Possibly my favorite film of Phase Three. After two boring as hell solo films, Ragnarok takes a completely new approach to a stale franchise and gives it new life. It was hilarious, weird, and charming all at the same time. Tessa Thompson is a pleasure to watch on screen. Oh, and Jeff Goldblum. Horniest/smoothest man in Hollywood. 9.5/10

Red: This was one of the best comic book movies ever because it not only had top notch popcorn flick action, but it also was very self aware in how ridiculous it was (i.e. the opening scene/rock montage). Ragnarok also managed to work in Hulk perfectly without Marvel having to go out on a limb on ANOTHER Hulk standalone movie, despite how many people wanted a true Planet Hulk movie. I’ve always been partial to Thor despite it not being the strongest MCU trilogy (neither is Iron Man), but Thor 3 kicks all the asses and sets us up nicely for Infinity War, which starts minutes after Ragnarok ends. 9/10

Black Panther

Giorgio: Had zero idea what to expect, but came out really enjoying it. Great cast, great story. Michael B. Jordan is one of the best actors currently working. Also made over a billion dollars, so no surprises how universally liked this movie is. 9/10

Red: Same as Kyle I had zero idea what to expect out of this movie. Chadwick Boseman was pretty badass in Civil War so I knew they had a shot, but Michael B. Jordan stole the goddamn show as, in my opinion, the best villain in the MCU. 8.5/10

Avengers: Infinity War

Giorgio: For a film that has about 50 main characters, they did a great job not making the plot stroke-inducing to follow. Thanos finally shows his ass after a decade of sending his minions to inevitably just do it himself. We get a great Peter Dinklage cameo, always a pleasure to see him. It was great to finally see the beginning of the end. 8/10

Red: Bravo! Bravo! One of the few movies I made sure to see opening weekend because you have about a day before Twitter eggs ruin the movie for you and about a week before Yahoo just straight up starts posting spoilers in the headlines. As Kyle said this movie did an incredible job balancing dozens and dozens of characters that you legitimately cared about as the world building of Kevin Feige really started to pay dividends. This movie could have been 4 hours long and I wouldn’t have moved an inch. 9/10

Ant-Man and the Wasp

Giorgio: Fuck this movie. 2/10

Red: Very forgettable. All I remember is the villain that can phase through walls, yet is slowly dying. Also, if we’re being honest I’ve always disliked Evangeline Lilly for how she cucked Jack on LOST, but I admit thats not exactly fair. Paul Rudd is a treat to watch per usual and the movie introduces the Quantum Realm which I think we all expect to be one of the keys to Endgame. So decent movie, but very forgettable. 6/10

Giorgio: I….never saw this movie. Guilty as charged. I’m sure it was swell though, right? Nothing like shoehorning in a last minute character a month before the grand finale. At least I heard there’s an orange cat in it named Goose. Rating N/A

Red: Unlike Kyle, I paid 14 of my hard earned Schrute Bucks to go see this last weekend because I didn’t want to be completely lost when a Deus Ex Machina write in comes out of nowhere to save the day in Endgame. While I was less than excited going into this move (I just got a very Green Lantern vibe with the fighter pilot turned super hero with bad CGI), it wasn’t bad. Nothing great, nothing terrible. A de-aged Samuel L. Jackson (good CGI) carries the movie, but Jude Law is a great character/foil in Capt. Marvel. Some hamhanded naming conventions (Mar-Vel? Really?) and the lazy explanation for where Poochie, er I mean Captan Marvel, has been for the past 20 years leads to an OK, but highly skippable cinema experience. 6.5/10

Now I just need to make it to Sunday afternoon without someone spoiling Endgame for me. Do what I did kids, mute anything and everything related to Avengers on Twitter and stay off the news sites. We’re in the endgame now…

NJ Transit is in Shambles and It’s All Dunkin Donuts’ Fault

By Giorgio on March 21, 2019 • ( Leave a comment )

If you ever have the opportunity to ride NJ Transit, my advice would be to just stay home. Notoriously shitty, delays out the ass, to call it unreliable would be an understatement.

So this morning I’m sitting here minding my own business scrolling through Twitter and I see this exchange between angry patrons and the poor schlub who has to field responses to these miserable people.

Pretty harmless, aside from mild rudeness. Here’s where it gets good.

Wait, wait, wait. You’re telling me that Dunkin Donuts is responsible for this madness? Why on earth is Dunkin Fuckin Donuts responsible for opening a train station every day? Who thought this was smart business? You’re telling me that you’re entrusting the commutes of hundreds of thousands of people into the hands of some most likely 17 year old making minimum wage slinging coffee on his four hour shift before he goes home to play XBox and hot box his Mom’s basement while she’s at work? Insanity. And how about NJ Transit just completely deflecting blame. “Don’t look at us. It’s Dunkin’s fault you’ll never get anywhere on time.” What a wild world we live in. Also, majorly bad look for Dunkin considering their slogan is America Runs on Dunkin. Better add a 15-20 minute delay to that commute time.

The 300s Marvel Cinematic Rewind Presents: Avengers: Age of Ultron

By Giorgio on March 18, 2019 • ( 2 Comments )

I have a hard time coming to terms with this movie. Avengers: Age of Ultron is a strange crossroads for the MCU. The film has some great moments and sets up a ton of what is to come in Phase 3, but just tends to stumble over itself constantly with some laughable choices and poor pacing. Even though it is the 11th movie in the MCU, it is the first direct sequel to The Avengers which obviously comes with built-in expectations. Here’s a quick re-cap for those that need a refresher.

Avengers: Age of Ultron suffers from the same problem as most of the Phase 2 films. They all sort of feel like filler. Phase 1 was able to build excitement from the promise that we were about to see all our heroes on the big screen together for the first time. Flash-forward to Phase 2 and we have more of a “been there, done that” mentality. I’ve seen them assemble, so now what? Phase 2 promised us a new direction, the lead up to the Infinity Stone plot line. So what do our heroes do in the meantime? The answer is, not much.

Ultron in itself is a plot device designed to stall. You have a self-made threat, created by Tony that is the newest danger to the existence of mankind. James Spader does fine with the character, but Ultron’s presence alone is just a stop-gap until Thanos shows up. The Infinity Stone plot line is at least front and center, with several references to the stones encountered so far and Thor claiming this all isn’t happening by chance and that there must be someone manipulating them from afar. Very astute observation, Thor.

The film does give us some new characters, most notably Vision and Scarlett Witch. Vision, who is essentially a demi-god, is a solid addition to the team. The character is played by Paul Bettany, who is best known in the MCU as the voice of Jarvis. It is kind of crazy to think just how well thought out things are behind the scenes at Marvel. Kudos.

There’s a ton that bothers me in this movie though. Thor’s lightning pool scene. Quicksilver dodging bullets all movie long to just get a shot a thousand times and die. Hawkeye having a wife and kids just hanging out at home. All things designed to distract us that this plot isn’t really advancing.

It’s tough to follow up one of the most successful movies of all time in The Avengers. Director Joss Whedon famously exited Marvel Studios after this film because it stressed him out too much. Luckily at this point we were only a year away from Captain America: Civil War, which is essentially Avengers 2.5 and feels like a more natural place to take these characters after the events of the first Avengers movie. Overall, Ultron is very meh.

Final Rating: 5.0 out of 10

The 300s Marvel Cinematic Rewind Presents: Guardians of the Galaxy

By Giorgio on March 13, 2019 • ( Leave a comment )

Very rarely does something just appear out of the ethos the way Guardians of the Galaxy did back in 2014. Before the Marvel Cinematic Universe really took off, I had major doubts that Iron Man could work as a film. At the time, it felt like we were reaching too far into the barrel and pulling out heroes that didn’t warrant their own movie. I mean, before knowing what we know now, the casting of Robert Downey Jr. and seeing the finished product, who the hell out there was clamoring for an Iron Man movie? I never in a million years thought we’d get beyond that surface level of superheroes, i.e. Superman, Batman, Spider-Man. Fast forward six years to the release of Guardians, which in my opinion was the exact moment comic book movies showed us what they could be if given the time and space to flourish.

Please take a look below if you’d like a bit of a refresher on the brilliance that is Guardians of the Galaxy.

So now that you’re caught up, where do I begin?

It is so rare for a virtually unheard of IP to come out of nowhere and become such a hit in pop culture. Guardians of the Galaxy did exactly that in the summer of 2014. I remember reading online years before it was released that Marvel was planning on bringing some of their lesser known heroes to the big screen. When Guardians was announced, I did some research into it because frankly I had no clue what it was even about. I remember seeing things that said the ensemble featured a talking Raccoon, a gigantic tree that only said it’s own name, and a human by the name of Peter Quill. Needless to say, I thought this movie was going to tank. “There’s absolutely no way this thing could work!” “They are getting so unbelievably desperate.” For those keeping score at home, I was completely wrong once again.

Guardians of the Galaxy felt immediate. It’s the first movie set in space since probably Star Wars where the world felt lived in and already established. The roles were brilliantly cast. I never suspected Chris Pratt could be a leading man and yet here we are several years removed and he’s one of the biggest stars in Hollywood. Rocket Raccoon and Groot went from “sounds horrible on paper” to being plastered on every toy, action figure, and coffee mug inside your local Target. And how about that damn soundtrack? James Gunn took some of the best songs from the 70s and 80s and made them the backbone of a film set in a far off galaxy and they somehow all work perfectly. The soundtrack naturally shot to #1 on the Billboard charts for several weeks.

Guardians of the Galaxy was the first movie to come along in the MCU that made me completely forget about the MCU. I suddenly stopped caring about what The Avengers were up to and wanted to see the continuing adventures of Star-lord and Company. Don’t get me wrong, I love The Avengers, but Guardians showcased exactly what comic book movies could do if they tried something different. To this day it sits in my top three in the MCU.

Final rating: 9.5 out of 10

The 300s Marvel Cinematic Rewind Presents: Captain America: The Winter Soldier

By Giorgio on March 4, 2019 • ( Leave a comment )

Captain America: The Winter Soldier was released on April 4th, 2014. Coming off two of what I consider giant letdown films in the MCU, I was praying to god that this movie wouldn’t stink. The Avengers was wildly successful in teaming up all our favorite heroes, only for Phase Two to split them back up into individual roles and bringing us pretty much back to square one. After whatever the hell Iron Man 3 and Thor: The Dark World were, I was starting to become a bit skeptical that this series was finally starting to lose steam. Boy oh boy was I wrong.

The film starts off with Steve Rogers out for a brisk morning run in Washington, D.C. He’s constantly lapping Sam Wilson (played by Anthony Mackie) who can’t match Cap’s speed. After a brief rest, Wilson tells Cap he works at the VA and that he’s a former soldier himself and asks Cap to stop by at some point, which Cap agrees to. Black Widow pulls up in a car to tell Cap he’s needed for a mission and they take off.

Somewhere overseas, Cap and Black Widow are in a military jet and discuss the mission at hand. They need to board a freighter that is operated by SHIELD that has been taken over by pirates. The freighter contains key information that is critical to SHIELD that Black Widow is tasked with recovering, unbeknownst to Captain himself. A large fight ensues with Cap rescuing the hostages and them barely escaping alive.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kZ7y3pEjNUI

A little pissed that he wasn’t told about the true nature of the mission, Rogers returns to D.C. to confront Nick Fury at SHIELD headquarters. He’s still a bit untrusting after the events of The Avengers and doesn’t fully believe SHIELD has the right intentions, regardless of what they claim. Fury explains to Rogers that times have changed and he better get with the program if he is to remain apart of SHIELD. In a show of good faith, Fury let’s Rogers see what SHIELD is currently working on: Project Insight, which is essentially three massive Hellicarriers that are tasked with eliminating threats before they even happen.

After Rogers takes off, Fury tries to review the data obtained by Black Widow and is denied access. Questioning why he was overridden, he begins to suspect that something is going on behind that scenes at SHIELD and he becomes a bit suspicious. He brings his suspicions to Secretary Pierce, the political figurehead of SHIELD played by Robert Redford. Pierce tells him theres nothing to worry about (sure Redford, whatever you say).

We’re then given what is one of the best scenes in Marvel cinematic history. Watch and enjoy.

Fury’s escape is then stopped by The Winter Soldier himself and he barely escapes just in the nick of time.

We cut to Rogers entering his apartment, only to find Fury sitting there listening to some old records. He is badly injured, and warns Rogers that he shouldn’t trust anyone and that SHIELD has been compromised. Fury gives Rogers the data that Black Widow obtained. Just then, Fury is shot through the walls of Roger’s apartment by The Winter Soldier.

At the hospital, Fury is pronounced dead in front of Cap, Black Widow, and Maria Hill. Black Widow asks Rogers why Fury was in his apartment and he doesn’t truthfully answer. Cap is then summoned to SHIELD headquarters to speak with Secretary Pierce. Taking Fury’s advice, he hides the flash drive of information in a vending machine in the hospital before departing. At his meeting at SHIELD, Pierce not so subtly accuses Cap of knowing more than he is letting on, and labels him an enemy of SHIELD. On Rogers way out of SHIELD headquarters, he’s ambushed in yet another amazing scene from this film and the MCU as a whole.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rUpvwMLHdUE

After his escape, Rogers returns to the hospital to retrieve the flash drive only to find it missing, but luckily taken by Black Widow. They then travel to an Apple Store together (groan) to try and unlock a bit more information. They uncover a secret military installation in New Jersey where Captain was originally trained. Underneath the base, they discover a hidden room that is filled with antique computers and technology which is revealed to be recreation of Zola from Cap 1’s brain? (Yeah, this is the one thing in this movie that has me a little confused) Computer Zola pretty much tells Cap and Black Widow that HYDRA has been infiltrating SHIELD for the last half a century. Just then a missile strikes the base, destroying it and nearly killing Cap and Black Widow.

After another run in with the The Winter Soldier, it is revealed that he is in fact Bucky Barnes, Steve’s long thought dead best friend. They are captured by HYDRA agents and taken to Pierce. In transit, Maria Hill is discovered to be posing as one of the HYRDA agents and busts them out of captivity. She brings them to a secret base, where we see Nick Fury, alive and well. He faked his own death because he wasn’t sure who he could trust (Sure, whatever, i’ll let it slide).

The World Security Council shows up to SHIELD headquarters for a demonstration of Project Insight. Captain America gets on the loudspeaker and announces to all SHIELD employees that HYDRA has taken over, with Pierce being their leader. Gunfire ensues as the employees quickly take sides. The Hellicarriers are launched and Cap and Black Widow attempt to take back control, with The Winter Soldier waiting for them on board. Cap is convinced Bucky remembers who he is, with Bucky trying his hardest to not let on that he’s right. The Hellicarriers are destroyed and as they are crashing, Bucky saves Cap and places him along the shoreline before he walks into the proverbial sunset.

SHIELD is disbanded after the dust settles. Fury burns his eye patch and heads to Europe to track down more HYDRA bases, Maria Hill takes a job with Stark Industries, and Cap and Wilson set out in search of Bucky.

Captain America: The Winter Soldier is the exact moment in the MCU for me that things went from good to great. It is living proof that the stand alone films still work, even after Iron Man 3 and Thor: The Dark World pretty much stunk up the place. The film almost felt like a Bourne movie, as opposed to just another cookie cutter entry of a Marvel film. To this day it remains one of my favorite films in the series.

Final verdict: 9 out of 10

The 300s Marvel Cinematic Rewind Presents: Iron Man 3

By Giorgio on February 7, 2019 • ( Leave a comment )

At this time I would like anyone who enjoys Iron Man 3 to vacate the premises because this film makes me physically ill. I’ve been dreading this movie in my re-watch from day one and lo and behold it’s just as terrible as I remember. Iron Man 3 was the first film to drop after The Avengers finally came to life on the big screen after years of teasing in the MCU. Yet, if Iron Man 3‘s job was to set the tone on what was to come in Phase Two, boy oh boy did it miss the mark. Let’s dive in.

Here’s a brief summary because I just can’t be bothered to relive this madness.

Iron Man 3 worried the hell out of me when I got out of the theatre. After all the hype surrounding The Avengers and us finally getting the amazing team up film we were all promised, we were back to individual movies and solo adventures for all our heroes. This was a brutal start. I honestly fully expected the MCU to fall apart after this movie, solely based on the reintroduction to stand alone films. My big problem with much of Phase Two was that it all feels like filler. We know at this point that Thanos is coming, and that the infinity stones will surely play a part in things to come. The problem is we were being set up for some complete waste of time films like Iron Man 3, Thor: The Dark World, and yes, even Avengers: Age of Ultron (I honestly couldn’t tell you a single thing that happens in Thor 2, so i’ll let Red tackle that next week).

Iron Man 3’s biggest flaw is that it does almost nothing to advance the plot of the MCU. It takes everything the first two Iron Man films did and turns it on it’s head. Remember how it was a big deal Tony had an arc reactor in his chest to keep the shrapnel in his body from entering his heart and killing him? Ah forget it, let’s just have surgery to remove it. Not necessary anymore. Wait, so why was that impossible the first two times around, but now it’s completely feasible? And don’t even get me started on The Mandarin.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gdVOdW7kQwk

You take one of the most badass villains in the Iron Man universe and you turn him into an actor pretending to be terrorist just so we the audience can look and say “ooooh” “aaaah” “classic bait and switch!” It totally nullifies the tension in the beginning of the film where for a second I thought we were about to get something totally insane from an MCU where good villains are tough to come by. Finally, how about Pepper turning into the Human Torch for a grand total of five minutes just to bypass the fact that she fell to her death. Oh, and they fixed her off screen by the way. Back to normal Pepper!

Honestly, Phase Two is incredibly hit or miss for me. I just thank my lucky stars that Iron Man 3 is behind me. Could have derailed the whole thing. At this point in time I would like to officially declare it to be the worst movie of the MCU.

Final Rating: 2.0 out of 10

And not to leave on a completely downer of a note, I present to you the one scene I enjoy in the movie.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lid6feCW-DY

Now I’m No Expert, But I Think This Commercial Is Pro Smoking?

By Giorgio on February 1, 2019 • ( Leave a comment )

So i’m sitting here minding my own business when this ad comes on the television out of the blue. Now, as someone who has fought a losing battle against soda my entire life, this was laugh out loud funny to me. I fully expected to see this ad was brought to us by Phillip Morris or whatever company makes Black & Milds, only to see at the end it’s from THE STATE OF NEW YORK. How incredibly irresponsible is this? I might as well go out and buy the neighborhood kids some smokes to keep them off the sugar. Forget Marlboro, it’s Mountain Dew that should have a warning label. Here’s a tip, moderation. Have a glass of water once in a while. Wild times we live in. I will 100% be having a tall glass of Pepsi this Sunday now during the big game. Oh, and as the one blogger for The 300s that’s not from Boston, GO RAMS!

The 300s

Discussions from the cheap seats