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Joey Ballgame

I'd like to take this chance to apologize to absolutely nobody.

Views from the 617.

Primarily MMA and pop culture takes from down in the rabbit hole. Sports straight out of left field.

Um, I Feel Like Eminem Does NOT Get Credit for Literally Creating the Term “Stan”

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Ummmm am I the only one who did NOT know this? I can’t be. I just can’t believe I’m that out of touch and in the dark.

Assuming I’m not, it’s sort of unforgivable in and of itself that we all sort of just went with the flow and started using “stan” as a common noun and as a verb. We all started saying things like “I stan (ATHLETE OR MUSICIAN X) hard” and “I’m sick of (ATHLETE OR MUSICIAN Y) stans they’re so annoying.” We did this without ANY KNOWLEDGE of where it was coming from and we did it in a day and age where that is capital “D” Dangerrrrrrous. We could of been #MeToo”d or #Cancelled or #ImWithHer’d or something along those lines without ever being any the wiser to what we said wrong. It was a new term that was easy enough to use so hey, fuck it. Let’s give it a whirl.

Come to find out, some fairly savvy individual took it directly from Eminem’s 2000 depiction of the eponymous obsessed, unwavering, and very much unstable fan. A song made famous not only by how very good, albeit dark, it was, but by an all-time VMA performance featuring perceived homophobe Marshall Mathers and Elton John. This is both sort of wild to realize but also a little unnerving to learn, no? I’ve called people “stans” with very little concern probably hundreds of times. Never was I trying to imply they were “a fan of to the point of a graphic murder-suicide”. Kind of overkill (no pun intended) if you ask me. But hey, that’s showbiz, I suppose.

Look, I know people don’t come to this blog to learn. They’re not seeking any kind of knowledge unless knowing where the line in the sand is drawn in terms of the etiquette of serving faux-Mexican fast food counts. However plain and simple I think this is a true blue #themoreyouknow situation where people should fuckin know this. Marshall Bruce Mathers III is a Lexicon King as well as a Rap God.

If you disagree? Well hit me back, just to chat.

-Joey B.

Time to Text Our High School Girlfriends: The RAZR is Back!

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Yahoo! – Few phones were as iconic and as ubiquitous as the original Motorola RAZR. Celebs used them constantly, fashion houses cooked up designer mashups, and it wasn’t long before friends, family members and co-workers all started carrying them, too…..This new version, which will sell for $1,500 when it launches on Verizon next month, is Motorola’s first foldable smartphone, and unlike any other foldable we’ve played with this year. It doesn’t unfold into a small tablet. It doesn’t pack loads of cameras or flagship components. It is, by Motorola’s admission, a “design-first” kind of phone.

Be still my early-2000’s heart. What a headline for a slow, bleak late-fall week. The RAZR, the very phone you would text your girlfriend “7777-88-7 22-2-22-33?” on when you were 16 is making it’s triumphant return.

(Editor’s Note: We talked about this earlier in the year and the excitement has not waned.)

No phone had quite the following  of or was the subject of a craze such as that of the RAZR had. You can probably make a case for the Sidekick, the Nextel, and the first wave of Blackberries as well, but they weren’t RAZRs. The Motorola heavyweight champ was bought in droves and traded like currency. I had two over the course of my late-high school days and I bought neither straight from a T-Mobile (I paid for my own phone since day 1 shut the fuck up) store or otherwise reputed cell phone distributor. Both were lightly-used but in great condition and ready for me to install “Badfish” by Sublime as a kickass ringtone. My acquisition of one actually came within a hair of getting me kicked out of high school, true story (I truly did nothing wrong).

Smartphones ultimately doomed the RAZR as well as all the other cool flip phones of that era. I was actually one of the last adopters (2014-ish) and was sad to see the flips go. I guess I’m not too mad about it as I can do anything from play music (porn) to read (porn) to peruse IG (porn) on a smartphone. But thinking of the RAZR, it indeed bring me back to literally simpler times. You made a call or texted someone. That was it. Then, if you were cool enough, got berated by your parents for texting wayyyyyyyyyyy too much.

So I guess the question is what is the price of nostalgia? Because 15 hundo for a RAZR is a lotttt of cash for a phone I once traded a 20 bag for. But hey, the times are the times. Back then all I had was a 20 bag. Now I have an actual, full-time job – along with student debt, inflated housing costs, and questionable amounts of anxiety. Maybe the RAZR is all I need. Suddenly that price tag doesn’t sound so bad.

-Joey B.

The City of Boston Shut Down Roast Beast Last Week

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Boston.com –  On the night of Halloween, D.J. Lawton — owner of Roast Beast, a roast beef sandwich destination — changed the profile photo on his restaurant’s Facebook page to announce the shop’s sudden closure. The photo, which showed a message written on cardboard and taped to Roast Beast’s door, was pointed and succinct.

Perhaps the greatest memory from my past summer was being introduced to Roast Beast. Red and Papa G had been going there for years but I had never had the pleasure. It was more than worth the wait.

For those not in the know, the North Shore of Massachusetts is well known for hot roast beef sandwiches. The hot version is basically the same thing as the cold version of the meat but cooked on a griddle a la something like pastrami with cheese, etc. on it and usually served on an onion roll. It’s fucking delicious.

Now Allston is obviously not the North Shore which geographically speaking made Roast Beast that much more delicious. We didn’t have to drive north of the city to enjoy this incredible delicacy. It was legit the best of both worlds.

Now the city has decided that, after ten years in business, without a $150k alteration to the kitchen they have to shut down. And the owner has understandably said “well then fuck you.” I guess they’ve (the city inspection department as well as the fire department) fucked with him before, and he’s quite sick of it.

Listen, fires are no joke. Those of us who worked in the Boston bar scene in the past ten years lost someone we knew last year to such a disaster. But those orgs are also filled with people with giant egos and a need to swing them around. The bottom line is we’ve been eating delicious sandwiches for ten years and suddenly there’s a complication now. Which is bullshit.

So thank you DJ and his crew for ten good years. Maybe he’ll open up in NH soon or something. Long live Roast Beast.

Why Do An Open Workout When Jorge Masvidal Can Just Have Fans Spar?

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This card and this fight, more specifically, really is an MMA fans wet dream. The Nose had it right when he said this is what MMA is all about. Two guys the fans just love who have awesome fighting styles just squared off in a main event to see who is, pardon the pun, badder. The UFC marketed it perfect – the Baddest Motherfucker Title, putting it in MSG, not trying to push a story line. The combatants showed the utmost respect for each other, from the moment Nate Diaz called for a fight with Masvidal to Masvidal being Diaz’s most vocal supporter during the bs USADA scandal last week. It’s all really been perfect.

And now this. Masvidal is well known as a guy who, although insanely talented in all facets of MMA, came from a background of underground, bareknuckle fighting on Kimbo Slice “undercards” in Miami. Backyards, boat yards, it didn’t matter. The guy liked to compete in the most primal of manners. So he decided, apparently, to share his experiences with his fans and let them glove up and spar each other on stage in front of the gathered masses rather than hit mitts himself. The UFC let it go, at Masvidal’s urging, for what seemed to be three or so groupings of body shot-only pugilism before breaking it up. I can only imagine the lawsuit if someone broke a rib or something so it makes sense. Still, what a sight. I cannot wait for this fucking fight.

-Joey B.

PS: Love Gamebred but #NickDiazArmy for life.

A Boston Resident Has Been Diagnosed With…..Measles?

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Boston.com – A Boston resident was diagnosed with measles Sunday, the city’s Public Health Commission said Wednesday in a statement….. “This is the first confirmed case of measles in a Boston resident since 2013.’’

Thanks a WHOOOOOOOLEEEEE FUCKING LOT JENNY MCCARTHY. Measles. We talkin bout measles. How does one contract measles you ask? I have no fucking clue. Well actually I assume by making contact with someone with measles. How does that happen in 2019? I have no idea. All I know is Al Gore did not invent the internet and give SJWs the platform to form a massive misfit army just to have them killed off by diseases thought eradicated in 1882 (or thereabouts).

But in all seriousness, I’m actually impressed that today’s medical doctors even know how the hell to identify and treat something like measles. Like ya, open heart surgery is absolute physiological poetry in motion. But doctors today are trained in modern techniques to perform such operations. Identify and set a course of treatment for a disease that Oliver Twist probably survived four times? Now that’s something to talk about. I would be more susceptible to imagining a conversation like this happening:

Doc 1: I have no idea what this kid has.
Doc2: I looked it up  in that book ol’ book we got. It’s measles.
Doc1: Jesus chriminity! Well good job with the research. Now how do we cure him?
Doc2: Not a fuckin clue.

Yet somehow in the greatest medical city (???????????I think???????????) in the world these guys were able to put it together. That’s something.

Quickly back to these asshole anti-vaxer parents though as it obviously they’re fault this happened. What a stupid fucking movement, even at a time where stupid fucking movements like the flat earthers exists. “O I’m not gonna vaccinate my kid there are harmful chemicals.” Well ya, there’s also the sun, car exhaust, and fluoride in our water so unless you are catching rain and feeding it to your bubble kid through a tube you’re shit out of luck there. “But Jenny McCarthy’s kid has autism.” Look it’s been said by smarter people than me but  being vaccinated didn’t give Jenny McCarthy’s kid autism. Being Jenny McCarthy’s kid did.

So here we are. In 2019. The year I’ve already described as full-blow “Idiocracy”. Add this to the list. Measles. Great.

-Joey B.

The 300s Fantasy Football Round Up – Week 5

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Can you believe we are already more than 1/4 of the way through the season? Pretty crazy considering it feels like yesterday it was June and we were DYING for football. I mean people, when we began this season McKayla Maroney wasn’t even back on IG! Crazy stuff.

Anyway, let’s get to how The 300s writers room did in fantasy football this week.


Joey B (0-5)

Another week and another loss. My team had it’s best squad yet and it just wasn’t enough. Squandered huge days from Thielen and Chark, to name a couple. We’ll try and get them next week.

Dom (2-3)

Another Rough Week for the Nerfherders. I went up against Watson, the Philly D and Thielen, so that makes me feel a little better, but my team did not show up and couldn’t even muster 100 points. I blame the Rams, as their defense has been nonexistent and Brandin Cooks got knocked the F out, but I need me a bounce back week ASAP.

Lippa (2-3)

I have always been a big Sammy Watkins stan, but you have to know there’s always going to be those weeks each year where he’s active and gets hurt on the first drive and gives you a bagel. Well, this was that week. That damn hammy is at it again. I’m at 2-3, but I have the least amount of points in the league which is quite worrisome. Tight End has been an absolute wasteland for me for the most part as I just can’t find anyone to get me good production from the spot.

Papa G (who refuses to ever send his record, 4-1)

Lost in my main league for the first time this weekend. Very lackluster performance from the troops. Lamar Jackson gave me his first dud performance as well. Oh well, at least Will Fuller 5 put up a massive 54 points for me in my other league. Insanity.

Red (Who also never sends me his record, 1-4)

I have scored more points each week for the last 4 weeks in a row and had my highest scoring week yet. Unfortunately I played the 3rd highest scoring team this week and lost by nearly 30 points. DJ Chark has been my best fantasy pickup in years and his 32 points along with Cooper Kupp’s 22 meant nothing since my opponent had 37 from Matt freaking Ryan, 37 from Michael Thomas, 27 from Josh Jacobs and 14 from his kicker. I’m about ready for The 300s Fantasy WNBA League to start back up…

Mattes (4-1)

I’m just waiting for the inevitable crash and burn, but I am FLYING HIGH right now. Besides last week’s heartbreaker, my team has continued to straight steamroll my competition. I’m currently sitting in first place at 4-1, I’m second in the league in the points overall, and goddamn it feels good. Dalvin and Thielen continue to be an unreal 1-2 RB/WR combo. I didn’t even start Dak this week either (went with Dalton against the Cards instead), and he’s set up with some real cupcake matchups in the coming weeks. Breida also had a monster game, and he’s locked in as one of the league’s best running offense’s key contributors. (Also, how bout that sneaky Auden Tate play as my second FLEX. 😎) Still got Kerryon, Robert Woods, Kelce, and a solid bench as well. Again, I still can’t help having this sinking feeling in my gut, and I’m going against the No. 1 team in the league this week. But for now, WEEEEEE!!!!

Has Anyone Ever Been Cucked Harder Than Kirk Cousins?

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CBSSports – The Minnesota Vikings‘ offense was almost completely shut down by the Chicago Bears in Week 4…..”At some point, you’re not going to be able to run the ball for 180 yards, even with the best running back in the NFL,” Thielen said, per The Athletic. “That’s when you have to be able to throw the ball…….Kirk Cousins seems to have taken the criticism to heart, or at least realized that Thielen was correct.

Geeeeeesh. It’s hard to even begin to unpack everything happening here.

First, there’s the vaunted “it” factor teams look for in QBs. It’s what makes someone a natural leader and a complete alpha male and every team desperately wants their franchise QB to have “it”. For all of his flaws, it definitely seemed, at least in college and early in his pro career, that Kirk Cousins was full of piss and vinegar. He was fiery. He had passion. He wanted to win. Needless to say, it seems like that flame has burnt out. The Vikings thought they got the QB who shouted “YOU LIKE THAT?!” at a herd of bewildered Washington Redskins beat reporters. What they have now seems to be a QB who meekly asks his receivers “how do you like that?” in regards to the sandwich he has prepared them for lunch. Quite the 180.

On that note, what does this say for Cousins and his receivers? For the offense as a whole? How can they soldier on with the usual power dynamic of an NFL offense so badly shifted. You have your QB, terrified to attempt a downfield pass, now tucking his tail between his legs and apologizing to a wide receiver for his shortcomings. That is a brutal reality for that team and kind of feels like a point of no return.

The worst part about all this is the Vikings owe Cousin for this season and $29m and change for 2020 GUARANTEED. It honestly could end up being a Brock Osweiler situation where they trade Cousins and some extra incentives to a team to just take on his salary. Who knows, maybe they’ll even make Thielen the head of personnel and ask him who they should pick up to stand under center since he’s calling the fucking shots anyway.

The NFL man. Never a dull moment.

The 300s Fantasy Football Round Up – Week 4

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I feel like each week I’ve said something along the lines of “we now know what we have” in terms of our fantasy teams and players but doesn’t it feel like after Week 4 we know the same about overall, actual NFL football teams? Like at this point we know who is good or could be and who is ass. It’s an interesting place to be only 1/4 of the way through the year.

Still, weird things continue to happen. The Pats got more from the Bills than we thought they would and Mason Rudolph won a professional football game. Strange times indeed.

Anyway, let’s take a look under the fantasy football hood and see how we did.

Lippa (2-2)

Rough week for your boy as I got no touchdowns outside of my QB. Usually a recipe for disaster, especially when I was going up against Kyle’s first place team. We’ve got to take a serious look at this squad going forward as it’s full of underachievers. Although it’s only a matter of time until Sammy Watkins pops off again. That offense is too good. We’re going to have to back into the waiver bog full of Daltons and Cousins (ew!) for a QB again with Stafford on bye. Perhaps it’s Gardner Minshew SZN, we shall see.


FUCKING Red (more on that later) (1-3)

Ya boy finally got on the board with his first W of the year and it could not have come at a better time. 0-3 is a hole, 0-4 is a death sentence. So shout out to Davante Adams and his 27 points that came at the expense of a toe injury so this win might end up actually sinking my season in the long run to be honest. Also Austin Hooper continues to be one of the best TE’s in the league with another 17 points after doing nothing the first two weeks of the season. Roller coaster ride engaged.

Dom (2-2)

Woof. I had a rough week. I was projected to win all of my contests this week, and ended up losing all of them. The Scruffy Looking Nerfherders finally came down to earth. James Conner broke out, but with TY out, Mack getting hurt, Brady and the Rams defense not showing up at all, I couldn’t even muster 100 points. Here’s to a Week 5 rebound.

Joey B (0-4)

I had a hard enough time waking up to find out I was now 0-4, then I received Red’s correspondence where he declared my record a death sentence. Hey fuck you pal. A week ago we were brothers in sorrow, now you’re sitting pretty with one win, swirling your brandy, throwing coins on the ground and watching me chase after them as they scatter. The silver lining is that I won my weekly office pool despite Andy Dalton’s best efforts to lose me both the fantasy week and the pot.

Papa G (4-0)

I’ve somehow arrived at 4-0. Lamar Jackson has leveled off these past two weeks so it’s really a team effort we got going on. Ekeler had what will probably be his last massive performance for me, now that Gordon is coming back. Conner has been meh lately given the Steelers’ lackluster start. I have to tip my cap to Lippa for having an off week, because without it I don’t see how I win this week under normal circumstances. No complaints from me though!

 

The 300s Fantasy Football Round Up – Week 3

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Blogger’s Note: Sorry for the tardiness this week. Big time snooze button week for the boys at The 300s. Leave us alone.

Welcome back. Week 3 has come and gone already. So have the playoff hopes of many of your favorite teams. Sorry I’m not sorry. Anyway, it was an interesting week in fantasy football, particularly within this modest enterprise. Losers became winners. Winners became losers. Some things didn’t change. Let’s check it out.


Biz Z (2-1)

Week 3 was a good week for the Z Men. A very good week. We rolled up 191 points. A personal record, and the highest one-week total in the 12-year history of my league. My only regret was starting Allen Robinson over Brandin Cooks. That kept me from hitting two bills. (Side note – my league’s scoring system is a bit goofy. Even in a standard Yahoo league I would’ve posted 159.)


Dom (2-1)

The Scruffy Looking Nerfherders did it again. Led by a 43 point showing by Keenan Allen and rounded out by solid games by Brady, Zeke, TY Hilton, Marlon Mack, I hardly noticed the duds by Conner and Andrews. Conner is really starting to frustrate me, but luckily I have the depth to wait him out or try to make a 2 for 1 trade. I’m only 5 points back of the league lead in points, so I’m feeling great going into Week 4.

Joey B (0-3)

I would have finally gotten on the board had I started recently acquired Rex Burkhead. But I did not. Did I err in starting someone else? Nope, just simply forgot to sub him in. “Things fall apart, the center cannot hold.”


Red (0-3)

Another week, another painful fantasy loss for your boy. This one was especially tough to swallow because my opponent jumped into the way back machine to pull out the W. I lost by 4 points after Lesean fucking Mccoy went off for 21 points like it was 2013 again. It also did not help that Ezekiel Elliott’s own backup outscored him by 5 points with garbage time points. Goddamnit.

 

Mattes (3-0)

My entire team dominated this week, and I ended up being the third-highest scorer yet again. That’s now three-straight top-three finishes, and I cannot believe how great of a start it’s been. Even my flexes showed out this week, as I got unreal performances from both Sterling Shepard and Rex Burkhead. Dak, Dalvin, and Kelce continue to roll; Kerryon is at least getting volume and is due to explode soon; Thielen finally got a bit more involved on Sunday; and my bench is still stacked, with Scary Terry McLaurin set to get his first start this week as well. I’m waiting for the inevitable crash and burn, but I’ll take 3-0!!!

 

Lippa (2-1)

A solid 138 point week from my team to move to 2-1. Things were looking a little hazy when Mike Evans scored a bazillion points in the first half of his game, but Tyler Lockett and Alvin Kamara balled out in the second half of that Seahawks/Saints game to get me up to 2-1. Next week QB streaming continues, as Josh Allen goes to the waiver bog, and Matthew Stafford, your time is now, as you face a porous Chiefs secondary.

 

Tacko Fall: Hooper, Swimmer

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Boston.com – Alongside the children taking swim lessons at the Charlestown Boys & Girls Club Wednesday afternoon was none other than 7-foot-7 Celtics center Tacko Fall.

Nearly twice the size of his comrades, if not taller, Fall fully participated in the session, practicing introductory exercises like kicking and pushing off the wall. A round of “Marco Polo” capped the 30-minute lesson.

There are many people who walk this earth who are good at something. There are even some that are great. There are a small few though, who are truly excellent, transcending 99% of the population in that one activity or area of interest.

For most of those that have found that one thing they are truly extraordinary at, that’s it. They stick to it, continue to get even better, and beat the drum of their remarkable skills over and over and over again.

Why? Well for one why the hell not? You have found something you can do better than almost anyone. Even if it doesn’t bring you money and fame, which it almost certainly does, especially in this day and age of internet sponsorships, etc., it brings you an overwhelming amount of personal satisfaction for sure. You feel fulfilled.

But the other reason that lurks in the dark recesses of someone like that’s mind is simply this: the fear of starting over in something new. Being a beginner. Having to start from the bottom, among the 99%, and figure a whole different lane as if you’re just another average human. Case in point John Wayne Parr. The greatest non-Thai Nak Muay in the history of Muay Thai. Absolute savage. But as MMA made it’s way into the mainstream and Muay Thai continued to toil in relative obscurity, JWP was not among the many top shelf fighters (from not just Muay Thai, but many other single-discipline martial arts) to make the leap. Why? Well, many speculate that for someone as skilled standing up as he is, he didn’t want to start over. He simply didn’t want to put on a white belt and learn how to defend himself on the ground from scratch. He had too much pride, and I don’t question him for it. He earned it.

On the other side of that equation we have Tacko Fall, shot blocking and rim running extraordinaire. Unheralded athlete of the century. Possible All NBA center with a little greasing of some gears. He has made it to the pinnacle of professional basketball with one of its most storied franchises and took quite the road to get there. So does he rest on his laurels, work hard in the off-season to just perfect his basketball skills, and go hunting in Faneuil Hall for undergrads fresh off a Pumpkin Spice Latte high? Nope, he seeks greatness in another field.

Tacko has taken to the water. Already elite at standing on dry ground and participating in modern athletics, he is now zeroed in on becoming just as good aquatically. With that wingspan I can only imagine he’ll be treading water for 2 hours straight come November. Backstroke? Well one wave of the arm and he’ll be at the other end of the pool. Marco Polo as this article alludes to? Please. Only sub in the nominal phrase with “SWITCH!” and little Billy will be tagged out quicker than he can splash the lifeguard. Games set match Fall.

I look forward to seeing what becomes of this endeavor. Will he take his talents to the professional level? Will he save a heart surgeon’s trophy wife from a great white in Chatham? Who knows. The sky, or should I say the seabed, is the limit.

-Joey B