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Joey Ballgame

I'd like to take this chance to apologize to absolutely nobody.

Views from the 617.

Primarily MMA and pop culture takes from down in the rabbit hole. Sports straight out of left field.

Noted College Football Innovator Mike Leach Debates Which Teams Can Beat His Based On Mascot

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Remember in college (at least for me) there were a couple of shows that caught fire purely because they were, to use more modern terminology, “bingeable/bingeworthy”? There was something golden about when you could kick back because SpikeTV or USA or MTV2 put Show XYZ on marathon mode and you were able to kill time between classes by watching a few hours of it.

One of those shows was called the “Deadliest Warrior” and it was probably the easiest pitch in the history of pitches given that SpikeTV was dying to be the ultimate haven for bro entertainment back then. All whoever created this show had to do was stride into a roomful of execs and ask the question, “Ever wonder who’d win in a fight between a prohibition-era gangster with a tommy gun and an Apache warrior…WELL NOW YOU CAN.”

It was somehow very analytical (maybe quasi-very analytical if that makes sense) and completely mindless. It was fucking glorious. They’d break down the skills, weaponry, and tactics of two groups of “warriors” from two different time periods and then decide who would win. Experts, including one who was basically a ninja with a medical degree, would slice, dice, and shoot anatomically-similar models of the human body to see what kind of damage was really being doneby what/whoever was being studied. A lot of people got dressed up in all sorts of costumes to act like these combatants. It was priceless. It would neverrrr get put on air today. But we loved it.

Anyway, count Mike Leach as someone who was clearly also a fan. In this video he debates who would beat his Washington State COUGARS just based on what their mascot is. Cal and UCLA have bears, that’s a toughy. Oregon State and their beavers? WELL HOW LONG CAN YOU STAY UNDER WATER?! GOTCHA!

We all knew Leach obsessively studies, among other things, pirates in order to provide him with the intellectual strategy to scheme up 18 wide receiver sets and make guys like Colt Brennan look like Tom Brady. Now we also know he takes into consideration just what creature or creation he is staring down from across the field as he goes to the dark recesses of his brain to manifest his opponents doom.

Next. Level. Stuff.

-Joey B

The 300s Fantasy Football Round Up – Week 2

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I would like to use this introductory paragraph to point out the fact that so far the Patriots defense is the highest scoring opponent they’ve yet to encounter this season.

Moving along, Week 2 has come and gone in the fantasy world and teams have begun to take shape, some players have been added and dropped, 15 QBs have been ruled out for the season, and one missing a chromosome has been benched and possibly retired.

So without further ado let’s see how the staff here did in Week 2.

Joey B (0-2)

I don’t know what I ever did to deserve this but Ronald Jones getting me .9 points on Thursday proved to be foreshadowing. No one ever showed up and I lost by 20. My RBs are garbage and I need helllllp.

Dom (1-1)

For the second week in a row, the Scruffy Looking Nerfherders were the second highest scoring team in the league. Unfortunately, I played the only team that could’ve beaten me this week. Lame. Once again, most of the boys performed well, and I made the excellent pick up of Mark Andrews of Baltimore, who happens to be the league’s top TE through 2 weeks. The big downside to the week was that James Conner was knocked out with a knee injury, but reports are that it’s not serious thankfully.

Lippa (1-1)

Don’t love my team in my league as much as I have in previous years. Probably because I didn’t have a second round pick (traded it for Antonio Brown last year trying to go all-in en route to a first round playoff loss). O.J. Howard looks like a giant bust, and my general lack of elite players will probably cost me this year. Bright side: JOSH ALLEN time next week at QB after a week of streaming Andy Dalton.

Mattes (2-0)
Even though Dede Westbrook and his pathetic 0.8 points (!!!) almost screwed me, Dak, Dalvin, and Kelce were an absolute force for the second-straight week. Kerryon also had a nice day after a worrisome Week 1. (And it’ll only get better for him with C.J. Anderson getting the axe yesterday!) This week I’ll be replacing Westbrook and Singletary with Matt Breida and Scary Terry McLaurin, AND I nabbed Dallas’s D off waivers this week since they’re playing Miami at home. Reeeaallly trying not to get too cocky yet, and I know it’s early. But The Pride of Kansas is 2-0 and sitting third overall in points so far. I’m feeling good.

Papa G (2-0)

Lamar Jackson! What a stud. Another solid performance from my elite QB out of Baltimore. This week was definitely tougher than last week though. Barely squeezed out a win thanks to Le’Veon Bell on MNF. Njoku got concussed almost immediately in the game so it was all on Bell’s shoulders. 2-0 to start the season, just like my Bills. Inevitable collapse(s) pending.

Red (0-2)

I touched on this a bit yesterday in my blog denigrating Jets fans so I won’t rehash too much, but long story short I needed 8 points from Jamison Crowder. He got 6. The football gods mocked me for putting my faith in a Jets player too and had third stringer Luke Falk taking snaps before halftime just to really make me suffer. You don’t know degenerate levels until you find yourself yelling at the TV for a third string QB to throw a garbage time TD in a blowout on Monday night.

Big Z (1-1)

The Z Men will not go undefeated in 2019. We stand at 1-1 after a 120-96 loss in Week 2. At least my team wasn’t the only team that wasted a great effort from Dalvin Cook. Dude had a touchdown and 154 yards on the ground, only to see Kirk Cousins throw an interception that would have been unacceptable even in a pick up game of groomsmen in the parking lot before a wedding reception. Christian McCaffrey was a disappointment in Week 2 with only 53 total yards, but hopefully that’s an aberration.  My kicker Matt Prater might have been this biggest disappointment of my week though. A missed PAT is -2 in my league, so even with the PAT he made later in the game he still ended up in the red for me and cost me a point.

 

 

 

 

GameStop is On the Table and It’s Gone to Code

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LinkedIn – The world’s largest video game retailer is shutting down nearly 200 of its 5,700 stores worldwide. Like so many other consumers across multiple different categories of retail, gamers have increasingly turned to buying games online. GameStop’s CEO said this is only the beginning and they expect a “much larger tranche of closures over the coming 12 to 24 months.”

It’s not a gigantic leap to say that our generation more than any other has taken the most metaphorical kicks to our nostalgia’s dicks. We came up during a truly unique time in that we saw the crossover in landlines to cell phones, in newspapers to the internet, in mail and inner-office memos to email, and from brick and mortar stores to online shopping. We have strong, lucid memories from both eras and thus feel a tug at the heart strings when we read something like this. It just kinda sucks. We don’t know why, as I doubt many reading this, including our EIC, have been in a GameStop in the past 5-10 years (Editor’s note: I have), but it does indeed suck.

To be honest I’m surprised GameStop took this long to fall. One because entertainment as a whole went almost entirely only/off-hard copy faster than most other industries. “Remember Blockbuster?” is asked with almost the same morbid respect and mourning that “Remember the Alamo” is stated by so many Texans. Secondly, gaming as a sub-industry has really taken off in the internet age. I never went beyond Madden and a couple of versions of Medal Of Honor, but in this day and age it is apparently perfectly acceptable to be a complete and utter nerd and try and make your living growing bed sores while buying and playing video games online. So it is kind of shocking a brick and mortar gaming store is just now deciding to call it quits.

It’s fair to wonder which staple of our upbringing is next to fall as digital entertainment and lifestyles become more and more of the norm. It is also fair to wonder if that fall also coincides with a visit from a belligerent transexual  thus making such occurrences the new grim reaper for the previous generation of consumerism. Either way, expect more and more of the things we know and love to fall by the wayside while dipshits from youtube become millionaires.

I apologize for the turn for the cynical.

-Joey B

Oooo Sammy, Sammy, Sammy (Darnold)

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A tale as old as time. As a star athlete, Sam Darnold probably has his pick of the litter in terms of females in and around the Met-NY area. And those females converging on said star athlete probably don’t only converge around only one. So the star athlete took a bite from an apple that happened to be poisonous and unfortunately, is now paying the price.

Sam Darnold has contracted the ol’ mono, which I thought only affected folks between the age of 14-20 as they’re more inclined to rambunctiously make out with each other, and is out for his upcoming showdown with Baker Mayfield and the Browns. And I know what you’re thinking, “this isn’t the only way you can contract mono.” And that’s true. However I doubt a millionaire professional athlete is in the habit of participating in other such activities such as sharing drinks. Imagine this scene:

Le’Veon: Hey Sam, the pumpkin spice lattes are on point this year, have a sip.
Sam Darnold: Wow, thanks man! Yum!

Ya, I don’t see it happening either. Darnold went and got himself mixed up with the wrong hoochie mama and now is going to miss a game or two. Hey, you live you learn. And it’s not like the Jets look like world beaters this year so wasting a Darnold-less game against Cleveland aint the end of the world.

Feel better Sam. And make better choices.

-Joey B.

The 300s Fantasy Football Round Up – Week 1

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Welcome back. Here we are, already one week through the 2019 NFL season. Which means one week through the 2019 fantasy football season and one full week removed from your life expectancy due to fake, non-existent, nonsensical sports-induced stress.

As is customary here at The 300s, I reached out to my blogging brethren to see what went down for their squads in Week 1, and to give you the reader the opportunity to find pleasure in our pain (Ortriumph178fuckingpointsareyoukiddingmeGiorgio?).


Papa G (1-0)

QB – Lamar Jackson, WR1 – Keenan Allen, WR2 – Julian Edelman, RB1 – Le’Veon Bell, RB2 – James Conner, TE – David Njoku, Flex1 – Brandin Cooks, Flex2 – Austin Ekeler

Lamar Effing Jackson. 47 points. Can’t say I expected that. Ekeler with 38 was a nice surprise too. Feeling kind of confident for a change. I’m sure week 2 will destroy that.

Joey B (0-1)

QB – Baker Mayfield, RB1 – Alvin Kamara, RB2 – Phillip Lindsay, WR1 – Adam Thielen,
WR2 – Mike Williams, TE – George Kittle, K – Stephen Gostkowski, D/ST  – Denver Broncos. Notable Bench – WR – D.J Chark, TE – David Njoku.

I took it off the chin and am already about to call it quits. Phillip Lindsay’s new nickname is “fucking” and the Broncos D apparently sucks. Only solace is I have high waver status and might get John Ross.

Red (0-1)

QB – Cam Newton, WR1 – Davante Adams, WR2 – Cooper Kupp, RB1 – Ezekiel Elliott, RB2 – Devonta Freeman, TE – Austin Hooper, Flex1 – DJ Moore, Flex2 – Kenyan Drake. K – Will Lutz, Def – New Orleans

Just a real disaster of a showing from your boy’s team, led by Cam Newton and his stupid hat. I nearly ordered Grubhub hungover from my couch more times (3) than Cam Newton had points (5) on Sunday. So there was a real failure to launch in Week 1.

Big Z (1-0)

QB – Russell Wilson, WR1 – Mike Evans, WR2 – Brandin Cooks, RB – Dalvin Cook, TE – Eric Ebron. Flex1 – Tyler Lockett, Flex2 – Christian McCaffrey, K – Matt Prater, D – Seattle

With a 119-76 win, the Z Men claimed the biggest blowout in the league this week. Life is good when you’ve got Christian McCaffrey on your team. Hopefully my 2019 keeper has more of an impact than my 2018 keeper did (Le’Veon Bell).

I’m pretty pleased with the performance I got out of the Seattle defense, too. I didn’t even draft a defense as I prefer to go week-to-week at that position, and it worked out well for me in Week 1.

Picking wide receivers and tight ends are like picking Keno numbers for me. Thankfully Eric Ebron’s donut didn’t do me in this week. We’ll see how many more of those I can sit through before his inevitable four touchdown game.

It’s a shame I can only squeeze in two RB’s a week in this league. I still keep a long list of backs on the bench, though. A little bit of insurance and a little bit of roster manipulation. We’ll see how my starting lineup looks in Week 13.

Dom (1-0)

QB- Carson Wentz, WR1 – Keenan Allen, WR2 – TY Hilton, WR3 – Brandin Cooks, RB1 – Zeke Elliott, RB2 James Conner, TE- Hunter Henry, Defense – Rams, K – Robbie Gould

The Scruffy-Looking Nerfherders had a big week. Essentially everyone but Cooks performed well. Wentz went off, and I have Tom Brady and his back up, so he’ll be getting more starts going forward. My RBs weren’t even great and I still scored the 2nd most points. Marlon Mack and Allen Robinson also had solid games on the bench, so I feel like I’m in great shape early on.

Now the other league is a bad QBs and Punters league. I feel like bringing this up just because it’s a hilarious idea. You get rewarded for bad QB (turnovers, incompletions, etc) and lose points for good play. What makes it tough is that although you want a bad QB, you don’t want someone who is going to get benched and force you to keep make waiver claims. This week, I led the league in scoring behind famous Jameis. Here’s to hoping that he keeps the QB spot this year!

Mattes (1-0)

QB – Dak Prescott, RB1 – Dalvin Cook, RB2: Kerryon Johnson, WR1 – Adam Thielen, WR2 – Robert Woods, TE – Travis Kelce, Flex1 – Dede Westbrook, Flex2 – Sterling Shepard, D/ST –  Baltimore

1-0 and the league’s third-highest scorer. What a way to start the season! I was already loving my team heading into the season – for the first time in years – and besides Kerryon, everyone pretty much showed up in the opener. Dak and Dalvin set the world on fire, and even guys like Woods and Kelce produced over 13 apiece without even scoring. I’m switching Westbrook and Shepard out this week for Matt Breida and Devin Singletary, cause, ya, my bench is stacked, too. I’m usually never this confident about my squad, but The Pride of Kansas looks ready to fucking roll this year. LFG.

 

I’d Just Like to Take a Moment to Address the Fact That Phillip Dorsett is So Fast He Was Never Even in This Frame

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I don’t have much at all if anything to add. The bottom line is this clip starts barely half a second after Brady catches the snap (you can tell by the usual QB half shuffle backward he does) and already Dorsett is not in the picture. He has exited screen left. That is fucking ABSURD. To think the Colts couldn’t do anything with this guy, we doubted his viability, and now he’s Brady’s most trusted deep threat really says a lot about McDaniels and co. A lot of people are saying “imagine he’s going to be our 4th or 5th option in a couple weeks, we’re that stacked.” Honestly? Not so fast. Once you click with TB12 you get yours no matter what. Dorsett and his freak speed might be wracking up highlights this year.

The 300’s Official UFC 242 Preview

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What time is it? KHABIB TIME.

That’s right folks, our annual serving of championship-level Dagestani violence has just about arrived as Khabib Nurmagomedov is set to unify his undisputed belt with Dustin Poirier’s interim one. Both fighters have now made weight, with even Nurmagomedov making it look easy, so nothing stands in the way of us determining who is the best 155er in the world.

We haven’t seen “The Eagle” since he included in his post-mauling of Conor McGregor a hurdling of the cage in an attack of Conor’s team. HIS team then went INTO the cage to go after McGregor and were thus suspended for a year. The loyal 155lb champ swore to not fight until his teammates were also again eligible and so we went a year without seeing the most dominant fighter on the planet ply his trade.

Since then and in Khabib’s absence, Dustin Poirier has claimed the Interim Lightweight Championship in an unexpected and yet fairly one-sided beating of Max Holloway. Moving up to Lightweight has done wonders for the 30 year old Louisiana native and he looks to put the cherry on top of his slow and steady climb to the peak of MMA on Saturday by delivering Khabib Nurmagomedov his first loss.

The Main Event

Khabib Nurmagomedov (C) vs. Dustin Poirier (IC) For the  Undisputed UFC Lightweight (155lb Bout) Championship

We probably don’t need to get into too much detail about “The Eagle’s style, but it’s MMA porn so why not. The only way I can possibly explain it is that Khabib employs a encyclopedia-sized playbook of set ups to shoot in on his opponents, put them on their backs, and as he says himself, “smash” them until the ref steps in, they give up their neck, or leave their arm unattended and ripe for a kimura. In terms of the shot, The undefeated native of Dagestan has a violently explosive double leg that he sets up by winging overhand rights earlier in the fight. He’ll then use the same motion, pull the punch, and shoot in. He’ll also shoot a low single from wayyyy outside. Although he has successfully taken opponents down this way, he mostly uses this technique nowadays as a way of feeling out his opponents skill level and to judge their reaction of the attempt. This technique, after all, is how he set up the overhand right that he landed on McGregor in the 2nd round of their fight: using the same foot work as the outside low single shot, Khabib feigned like he’s going for it just as he had in the first, and then popped back up and threw the punch. With all of that said, it’s possible Nurmagomedov’s most effective takedowns happen along the cage, where he can isolate his opponents and use the trips he has perfected from his sambo background. Once he is on top, and especially if he is able to utilize his patented figure four on a foe’s ankles and lower legs, it is going to a long night for whoever is underneath,

Poirier has grown into quite the boxer over the last couple of years. He throws lightning fast combos aided by slick footwork, and he throws everything with some hate in his heart. Heavy shot after heavy shot comes at his opponents, and he has a particular ability and affinity to go to the body. When, not if, this fight goes to the ground, Poirier represents an interesting challenge. He is indeed a blackbelt in BJJ and has pulled off some nifty submissions in the past. If nothing else, he is a hunter and will not be content to just sit there and get pounded on.

I’m a big fan of both guys so this is a tough one to pick. In the end, Poirier just has not shown the takedown defense in the past for me not to think he winds up on his back early and often. With that said, his own grappling acumen and toughness makes me wonder how easily he’ll give up his back or arm.

The Pick – Khabib Nurmagomedov def. Dustin Poirier (TKO, RD3) and unifies UFC Lightweight Championship

Co-Main Event

Edson Barboza vs. Paul Felder – Lightweight (155lb) Bout

In the Co-Main Event we have a rematch of a July 2015 bout between fan favorites and perennial contenders Edson Barboza and Paul Felder. In the first bout, the UFC did Felder no favors by putting the still-green Philly native in the cage against the peaking and absolutely savage muay thai practicioner Barboza. Philly Tough is Philly Tough however, and “The Irish Dragon” was able to stick it out to lose a brutal unanimous decision.

As mentioned, Felder was a different fighter back then. Sure he came from a traditional muay thai background as well, but he was just as much a brawler at the time and relied on his toughness more than anything. Since then, we’ve seen him become a very technical striker with a high fight IQ who also has found some comfort in his grappling. Felder has seemed to have also found his power source as well, as he knocked out three straight opponents prior to his previous two fights, a decision loss to Mike Perry up a weight class on short notice and UD in arguably his best performance to date over James Vick.

Barboza is Barboza. He has the fastest switch kick in the UFC and will land it anywhere. He of course is known for his vicious leg kicks and has finished opponents by crippling them more than once. He also will throw an array of flashy spinning strikes (sorry Terry Etim) when things get boring to keep his opponents on his toes. I’m not going to lie, I have no idea what Edson Barboza offers on the mat but I don’t see the fight going there anyway.

I’m a Paul Felder stan, but I just think Barboza does what he does except better.

The Pick – Edson Barboza def. Paul Felder (Unanimous Decision)

The Other Russians

Islam Makhachev vs. Davi Ramos – Lightweight (155lb) Bout

Bro, Islam Makhachev is a stud. I think how good he really is is blurred by that loss on his record, a surprising flash KO at the hands of Adriano Martins. At the time however, Martins was perpetually underrated and Makhachev may have needed a wake up call. With all that said, I’m not the only one who has wondered that if Khabib didn’t exist, would his teammate ” ‘Slam” be at the top of the 155 pound heap. Although his wrestling is more finesse based and he is not as crushingly dominant, Makhachev is still completely befuddling once he gets you down.

Ramos is an accomplished BJJ blackbelt who has decided he prefers engaging in fisticuffs. The problem with that is he doesn’t really have the reach or footwork to get where he needs to be to throw sometimes. When he does employ his mat skills though, he’s a handful indeed.

This is interesting the say the least. Ramos is slicker than most and Mkhachev does not apply the same pressure as his champion teammate. Still, the young Dagestani is too hot to not pick.

The Pick – Islam Makhachev def. Davis Ramos (Unanimous Decision)

Zubaira Tukhugov vs. Lerone Murphy – Featherweight (145lb) Bout

Remember earlier when I said Khabb’s teammates joined him in causing mayhem post-UFC 229 and got suspended? Ya, Tukhugov was kind of one of the main perpetrators. As a matter of fact, Dana White’s immediate reaction was to say the prospect was going to be cut altogether. Needless to say that didn’t happen on “The Eagle”‘s watch. So after some USADA trouble and then yearlong suspension for trying to jump the most famous fighter in the world, Tukhugov returns to try and make good on his potential that was once put in question by a 2016 decision loss to a surging Renato Carneiro, his only appearance in the UFC so far.  Unlike his teammates, “Warrior” likes to keep things standing. He is awkward as hell and will hit you how- and from wherever he chooses.

I honestly don’t know much about Murphy except that he once survived getting shot in the face twice, he is a highly touted British (??) prospect, and is a gigantic underdog.

The Pick – Zubaira Tukhugov def. Leron Murphy (TKO, RD2)

So that wraps this one folks. You’ll also get to see Curtis Blaydes kick the shit out of a giant guy and Joanne Calderwood fight Andrea Lee for some semblance of relevance/the right to get demolished by Valentina Schevchenko should her next opponent get hurt last minute. A reminder this one kicks off at 2:00pm EST as it’s in Abu Dhabi. Let’s goooooooo.

-Joey B.

Anddddd Now the Raiders Intend to Suspend Antonio Brown

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What a fucking saga. I mean what is even happening.

In case it was even remotely up for debate, Antonio Brown, and more specifically his head, is now in sole possession of the “Diva/Pain In Ass Wide Receiver” crown. He has surpassed Keyshawn Johnson, who felt it both worthy of his time and wise to write a book, mid-career, called “Give Me The Damn Ball.” He has also surpassed the WR whose name I won’t even utter he was such an asshat, but I’ll say he notably played  for the 9ers, Eagles, and Bengals, stopped getting signed because he’s such an asshole, and then went broke.

And now we have AB. His VERY successful and ultimately lucccrative time with the Steelers ended because he got pissed they drafted another talent and the ball was getting spread around. Keep in mind this resulted in Brown catching over 1,200 yards and a career high 15 TDs. But fuck them right? So he got in an argument with Big Ben, who he may or may not have hated anyway, got benched at the end of the year, and got traded to Oakland.

THEN THINGS JUST GOT STRAIGHT UP WEIRD. First, he froze-torched (look it up it’s a word) his toes almost clear off misusing a cryotherapy chamber. Not great, but ok. A dumb, dumb move but not a malicious or intentional act. However, what seems like mere moments later, the NFL decides his BELOVED helmet of choice (???!!) is now out of code and he has to get a new one. No biggie right? BIG WRONG MY FRIEND. See, AB can’t even imagine taking the field without this one particular helmet. So he sits out. During his first season with the team. Because of the helmet. And he obviously cannot practice not wearing one. Eventually he, the team, the NFL, I don’t know who else come to an agreement on a helmet he can use. All is forgiven. Except not.

Now, the thing is, the Raiders could not have cared less what means of head protection Brown used so these missed practices were not excused. So he was fined. Something to the tune of 50k. He’s making something like 18 mil a year I think, he can afford it right? EVEN BIGGER WRONG BUDDY OL’ PAL. At this point, AB posts on IG about the team “hating” on him and some other indiscernible shit. Who knows at this point.

Welp, I guess today Raiders’ GM Mike Mayock, noted drafted expert and very much not noted football exec, confronted AB about these posts and probably every other fucking stunt he’s pulled this offseason and they got into it. Gave each other the business if you will. Had at it. This exchange of pleasantries went so off the rails that the team is now SUSPENDING ANTONIO BROWN only six months after trading for him and before he plays a single regular season snap for them (in his new helmet). What a Goddam world. And as twitter said (I think Schefter said but no research as always) this thing is NOT over. We could honestly see Antonio Brown, top 5 receiver in the league, get traded again this year. Can you imagine that?! Even Keyshawn and Dickhead Who Shall Not Be Named weren’t so insufferable two teams shipped them in one year. But it could happen here.

This is just such a disaster of a situation. I can’t imagine who would even be takers in such a trade scenario. I guess the Raiders and AB will both hope this all just freezes over (LMFAO).

-Joey B.

PS: You know who has never been suspended from his own team for pure dickshiterry?  Josh Gordon.

Tim Thomas, 2019 Hockey HOF Inductee, Speaks Publicly for the First Time in Forever

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Boston.com  – Retired NHL goaltender Tim Thomas broke a years-long public silence Wednesday after being named as part of the United States Hockey Hall of Fame’s class of 2019.

The mercurial Thomas, who led the Boston Bruins to the Stanley Cup in 2011 and made headlines for refusing to visit then-President Barack Obama at the White House, has avoided the spotlight since walking away from hockey in 2014……“Everybody probably knows nowadays I don’t actually have all that much to say, at least publicly,” Thomas said on a conference call with reporters.

For all the legends, urban myths, and just plain strange anecdotes ingrained in Boston sports lore, the saga of Tim Thomas somehow goes largely unnoticed, at least on a day-to-day basis. Sure, if you were to sit around with your buddies and begin regaling each other with tales of Bruins fandom, particularly in the years surrounding the 2011 Cup win, Thomas and his eccentricities would come up. But otherwise, the two-time Vezina winner and his peculiar behavior is just a footnote in a big book that details pitchers who talked to the ball and offensive linemen who decided they were aerodynamic enough to stage dive.

Make no mistake about it, this isn’t just a post-playing career story. Thomas was always a bit of an odd duck. This of course is understandable as he is from Vermont and people from Vermont are a bit out there. I guess when your identity is half-Canadian, half-New Hampshirian and your atmosphere tests for pot like the air in Hong Kong tests for smog, you’re going to come out a little wacky. There’s also an accepted hotbed of communism in Vermont, which of course Thomas was a huge fan of as well. There he was, a stand out player in a bro-y, popular professional sport and his personal life resume read like someone who may try and overthrow the government.

Then Tim Thomas left hockey in 2014 and that was that. He’s 45 now and is said to live in basically a bunker in Colorado, following a survivalist’s lifestyle. While it would be easy to dismiss that as just as another example of how the B’s old netminder is just a bit of a space case, he actually gave some insight into why he lives the way he does when discussing why he doesn’t make appearances in Boston:

“With the state of my nervous system since I retired, I wouldn’t be able to hardly handle the energy of the crowd in Boston,” Thomas said. “So it isn’t as simple as it may seem. Having said that, you never know what the future may hold. I’m just taking life as it goes.”

Kind of makes you feel like a a bit of a traitor no? All this time we’ve been poking fun at “Timmy” for being some anti-government loon, while all along he just didn’t care for the attention to begin with. It would actually seem like he might have a touch of social anxiety, and as someone who is prone to ingesting a tiny quantity of special brownie in order to function in a large crowd, I can dig that. It gets overwhelming for some people.

But Thomas touched on one other reason for his departure from the hockey world.  Something we kind of forget about. However, it is a reason we’ve seen more and more frequently in the NFL as the risk-reward for playing has been put under the microscope: the love and passion for the game just isn’t there and is outweighed by that for other things.

“I have other interests. I have a totally other focus. I live in a totally different world than the hockey world that I lived in before. I live a long ways away from Boston, and it’s not that fun for me to travel anymore…”

The guy kind of…..just doesn’t give a shit about hockey anymore. And he kind of has that right, right? He gave hockey his entire life up until he was 40. He gave Boston some of his best years as well as a cup. What more can we ask for? We definitely don’t deserve anything.

So cheers to you, Tim. We appreciate the explanation. Congrats on the induction and enjoy whatever the hell it is that you do.

-Joey B,

 

In Case You’ve Been Under a Rock: Peter Barrett is a UFC Fighter

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“Dana White is my boss.”

I only got off the phone with our friend Slippery Pete a few minutes ago, but that line is what is sticking in my brain. He survived a rough first round and pulled off a textbook escape from an arm-bar to drag Sang Hoon Yoo into deep waters, grinding the South Korean down while tagging him with straight punches and spinning back fists.

He sounded a mixture of tired, contemplative, yet completely at easy in the five minutes we spoke. He spoke in the same manner in which he emoted in the cage: this is where he is meant to be. So take a second and enjoy my catch up with the UFC’s newest practitioner of highly calculated violence.