Boston College Bowl Game Gets Cancelled Due to Lack of Hustle, Uh I Mean Lightning

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CBS Sports – The First Responder Bowl between No. 25 Boise State and Boston College was canceled Wednesday due to severe weather in the area.

The game played at The Cotton Bowl in Dallas, Texas, got underway Wednesday afternoon but was put into a weather delay with Boston College leading 7-0 with 5:08 in the first quarter. Lightning in the area caused the game to be delayed, and after a waiting period of nearly 90 minutes, officials got together and decided to cancel the game after peering at the local forecast. Thunderstorms and wind are expected to continue throughout the day and into the early morning hours, which ultimately made it impossible to attempt to get the postseason game in.

Even though Boston College led 7-0 at the time of the delay, the game was officially ruled a no contest, meaning neither team will be considered the winner or the loser, and any stats accumulated in the game do not count.

In the most minor league headline of all time, Boston College’s bowl game was postponed and then later cancelled with no plan to make up the game due to weather. I was really looking forward to the prestigious First Responder Bowl too.

It’s a shame too because I expected BC to get dusted by a Boise State team that I have not followed in years, yet still plays in the Mountain West so by default has to be better. Despite all that BC was leading 7-0 before the game was shut down so I guess we’ll never know. Welp only a few more days until real, actual college football games are back on TV. Until next season Eagles fans!

The 300s 2018 Fantasy Football All Cock Tease Team

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Welcome, welcome to our awards. Before we begin I’m going to briefly kick it to our team on tonight’s red carpet…

Thank Joey! Here we see Founder Red wearing a Lakers jersey with camo cargo shorts. I’m really digging his ironic choice that is clearly a protest to our recent cooperation with North Korea. Back to the studio…

Thanks guys! Now before we proceed I should probably explain what these awards actually are about since nobody fucking knows.

We have all picked a bust or 12 throughout our fantasy football seasons, however most are of either the “reach” or “hard on” variety. A “reach”, as is well known, is a player you pick a bit too high, possibly motivated by the fear of someone else picking him. A “hard on” pick, for lack of a more enlightened term, would refer to players that we just personally really like without a ton evidence as to why and that simply don’t work out.

These awards, however, celebrate the “cock teases” – players who are picked at a good time given their value, normally put up good numbers relative to that selection point, yet completely fuck us. They don’t buy us dinner first either, just bend us over the analogous  10, 12, or 16 team table and fuck us.

So without further ado, as composed by and contributed to by our talented staff, I give you The 300s 2018 All Cock Tease Team:

QB: Jimmy Garoppolo, San Francisco 49ers
Red: I was ready for Jimmy G to rise like a phoenix out of the ashes that was my 2017 fantasy season, but in his third game the most handsome ACL in the league exploded and I was stuck with Matt Stafford at QB the rest of the way.

 

RB1: Jordan Howard, Chicago Bears
Mattes: Now, a lot of people might give me crap for drafting Howard in the second round of a PPR draft. First, I’d like to respond by saying it’s only a half-point league, and, second, the guy also had two-straight 1,200-plus-yard seasons and nine touchdowns last year on a bad team. I – like many – expected the Bears to be much-improved this year (which they certainly are), and I also believed new head coach Matt Nagy when he said he’d finally get Howard more involved in the passing game. Then came along Tarik Cohen, and there were also five games this year in which Howard averaged under 2.6 yards a carry. In fact, Cohen actually ended up finishing over FOURTY spots ahead of Howard in the overall rankings this year. Picked the wrong guy, I guess, huh?

 


RB2: Le’veon Bell, Pittsburgh Steelers
GUEST CONTRIBUTION! Patty Blackouts: I mean what is there to say besides he’s a seflish fuck who passed up 850k a week to sit out and try and protect his body to try and get a long term deal. Took him 4th overall thinking he’d show up sometime around end of September or October and nope just sat out all season sending cryptic tweets so you’d think he was going to report and next ya know he’s playing pickup basketball games at the local Y. I hope no one pays him what he wants and he regrets passing up the 14.5 mill he would have been paid this season by signing the franchise tag. But yes I’m bitter because  I used my first overall pick on him in fantasy got the same amount of points out of him as he did paychecks this season….0!

I hope he gets hurt in the next preseason.

Douchebag.

WR1: Quincy Enunwa, Goddam Jets
Red: No one, and I mean no one in my fantasy league watches more Jets games than me as the Mrs. is a huge fan. So watching a team that bad I was determined to derive some value out of it, which is exactly what Quincy Enunwa was going to do for me. Enunwa was going to be the steal of the draft as he put up 15, 12 and 10 points in 3 of the first 4 games, but then his season was derailed by various injuries. He cracked 6 points just once after September…

 

WR2: Golden Tate, Detroit Lions/Philadelphia Eagles
Joey B: Tate started the season as Matthew Stafford’s #1 option in what is normally a high flying Detroit offense. To that end, he kicked off the season with games of  17, 15, 10 and TWENTY FUCKING NINE. After that he completely shit the bed, probably became an asshole in the locker room because he realized his name is fucking Golden, and then got traded to Philly where he had one game of 20, coincidentally the only other time he’s seen the end zone since September, and seemingly is hated by all 12 of Philly’s playoff-ready QBs.

 

TE: Gronk
Joey B: I always pick Gronk wayyyy too high because he plays a position where all of 4-5 guys give you tremendous amounts of points and even among those guys he usually stands out. But this year, as the world knows, was different. He’s just broken and I’m just sad.

 

Flex1: Jarvis Landry, Cleveland Browns
Mattes: Landry wasn’t without a few big games of his own this year. Also like Cousins, Landry was a guy whom I expected to make a huge splash with a new team this season, but instead was super inconsistent. Yes, he had to deal with learning how to play with two different QBs this year, but remember that Baker Mayfield has been playing since Week 3. In the 13 games he’s played with Mayfield, Landry has put up single-digit totals in seven of them. For a guy who averaged 99 catches per season before this year, his mark of 72 through 16 games this year is incredibly disappointing.

 

Flex2: Chris Hogan, New England Patriots
Big Z: With Brandin Cooks in LA and Julian Edelman sidelined for the first four games of the season, I was certain Chris Hogan was a steal in the fifth round. He would be one of Tom Brady’s top targets the first month of the season, and hopefully stay in the mix even after Edelman returned.

Hogan scored two touchdowns in Week 2, but he wouldn’t find the end zone again for three months. By that time I had already dropped him and moved on. Just another cautionary tale of putting too much stock in to a Patriots WR/RB for fantasy football purposes.

 

D/ST: San Diego Los Angeles Chargers
Joey B: With Joey Bosa and company up front and some decent pieces in the secondary, I thought the “pressure creates turnovers” rule would get me some points on D. Instead Bosa got hurt and the Chargers are last in return yards allowed.

 

Kicker: Dan Bailey, Minnesota Vikings
Big Z: Drafting and picking up kickers in fantasy football is a bit of a crap shoot. You just try to pick up a guy who kicks for a team with a good, but not great, offense. If he plays in warm weather or a dome, even better. That’s why I love NFC South kickers and why I will never draft the Bills kicker.

Dan Bailey had a rough 2017 and got released by Dallas. But he was at one time the most accurate kicker in NFL history. When he got picked up by Minnesota, I thought he would be a good guy to take a flier on. Accurate kicker on a good, not great, team that plays its home games in a dome.

Bailey is 20/27 on field goals for the Vikes this year and his 2018 may be worse than his 2017. Yikes. God help the Vikings special teams coach

 

*BONUS: Mid-Season Pick Up Fist Fucker of the Year*

WR: Marquez Valdes-Scantling, Green Bay Packers

Red: MVS was one of the few guys I was first to the punch on in my league and he looked like a STUD. 6’4″ with 4.3 speed and Aaron Rodgers throwing him the ball? Yes please. After a quiet start to the season MVS blew onto the scene with a 4 week stretch of 13+ points. He would post 6+ points just once the rest of the way…

 

 

 

The Top 5 Sitcom Christmas Episodes

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So I sat down on Christmas Eve yesterday and got sucked into about four hours of sitcom marathons. Few things are better at this time of year than binge watching all the random sitcom Christmas specials. It’s become a staple for any sitcom worth its weight. So lets break down some of the best Christmas specials from over the years.

 

The Office

S3EP10 – “A Benihana Christmas”

After photoshopping himself onto an old photo of Carol’s family over the ex husband’s head, Carol is creeped out and dumps Michael. Meanwhile the office is split in two as the party planning committee argues so Pam and Angela end up creating two separate office Christmas parties.

 

The Simpsons

S9EP10 – “Miracle on Evergreen Terrace”

The Simpsons love doing holiday specials and this Christmas episode is one of the funniest specials of all-time. Bart drinks a dozen glasses of water so he can wake up early on Christmas before everyone else. He does just that, heads down stairs to play with some new toys except he accidentally burns the Christmas tree down and all the presents underneath it. Naturally he lies about it and the entire town of Springfield takes sympathy on the Simpsons until Bart cracks. Hilarity ensues.

 

 

Seinfeld 

S9EP10 – “The Strike”

While technically not a “Christmas” episode, this is still one of the best Christmas specials as George’s father invents a new holiday all together: Festivus. Airing of Grievances, Feats of Strength, the Festivus Pole, which is displayed unadorned because tinsel is distracting. People literally buy aluminum poles and put them in their living room as an ironic protest of Christmas and I will laugh every time I see it.

 

Malcolm in the Middle

S3EP7 – “Christmas”

One of the more underrated sitcoms that never seems to get the credit it deserves. All the more relatable to people because of the absolutely chaotic family dynamics.

 

That 70s Show

S6EP7 – “Christmas”

If Billy Bob Thornton is the No. 1 disaster of a Santa Claus then Red Forman is without a doubt 1A. The older I get the more I personally identify with Eric’s curmudgeon of an old man. When a girl asks for a pony, Red tells her ponies die. He also tells another boy who asks for a slinky that he’ll be getting flash cards for a present: “Math. That’s what you’re getting for Christmas.”

What’s your favorite Christmas special? Tweet it at me @The300sBoston and we’ll get the ball rolling on this nostalgia trip.

REAL TALK: It’s Time to Trade Jackie Bradley Jr.

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Image result for jackie bradley jr trade

Before I’m accosted by all the pink hats and loyal-to-a-fault Sox fans out there, I’m not trying to bash JBJ here. That’s not my intention!

But there’s no denying that baseball, like any other sport, is a business. And, as in any business, one must constantly remain on the lookout for timely opportunities to sell on particular assets which, while it may be unpopular in the short term, can have immense benefits in the long run.

Such is the case with Jackie Bradley, Jr.

JBJ has become a fan favorite over the past few seasons, and rightfully so. Not only does he make highlight-reel catches in center field at least once or twice a week, but the guy was also the ALCS MVP this year and came up with a huge home run in Game 3 of the World Series. He also took home his first Gold Glove award in 2018.

Image result for jackie bradley jr catch

The guy is pretty special to watch out there in center.

But otherwise? He’s a career .238-hitter with some decent pop who is capable of playing some pretty stellar defense.

He’s also incredibly streaky. At times, he can go on runs where he produces like one of the very best hitters in the game; one needs to look no further than his career-best 2016 season, during which he was an All-Star and finished the year with an impressive total (and extreme career outlier) of 26 home runs. But some forget that after a rip-roaring start to that season – which saw him go on a monstrous tear from mid-May through the end of June – Bradley Jr. finished the year by batting just over .230 in the second half. Every season before or since has also seen similar peaks and valleys.

Even if you look at his supposedly great postseason run this year, you start to realize that many out there might be looking at his “epic” performance with rose-colored glasses. Here’s a full breakdown of JBJ’s performance from each series this past October:

  • ALDS vs. the Yankees: .133, 0 HR, 0 RBI
  • ALCS vs. the Astros: .150, 2 HR, 6 RBI
  • WS vs. the Dodgers: .200, 1 HR, 1 RBI

Yes, the very few hits he had this postseason were indeed big ones, but it’s still pretty amazing to see a guy who hit ONE-FREAKIN-FIFTY in a series win that particular round’s MVP award.

But again, my goal is not to tear down JBJ. I’m just pointing out that we need to SELL HIGH on the 28-year-old, because his value will never be better than it is right now. Moving him could be instrumental for both the team’s continued success and, more importantly, the long-term future of the franchise.

Just hear me out…

The Sox were one of two teams to be penalized this offseason due to being over the luxury tax (the other being the Nationals), which meant they had to pay $12 million to Major League Baseball a few weeks ago and move down 10 spots in the draft order next June. That may seem like a drop in the bucket to a team that is valued at over $3 billion, but it’s still $12 million that could’ve been used otherwise.

Bradley Jr. is expected to be one of the top-10 highest paid players on the Sox this year, probably coming in around $7 or $8 million once arbitration is all said and done. While moving JBJ alone won’t even come close to putting the Sox back below the limit, it’s at least a start. Moving his salary, combined with the decision to move on from Craig Kimbrel, would prove to be a step in the right direction for the team’s financial health moving forward – especially with guys like Xander Bogaerts, Chris Sale, and Mookie Betts all hitting free agency within the next two years.

Image result for mookie betts xander bogaerts

These two are going to get PAID when they hit the market.

But, in truth, even if the money aspect doesn’t concern you – because, honestly, the team could continue to pay the tax penalty without being crippled – the team’s almost non-existent minor league talent should. Of the top -100 prospects in the game right now, according to MLB.com, the Red Sox have only ONE: Michael Chavis. That’s it.

I’m not mad at Dave Dombrowski for selling the farm (literally) in order to acquire some veterans that helped us bring home the title this year. But, at some point, he’s going to have start restocking. And while I doubt Bradley Jr. brings in any big-time blue chip prospects, a team in desperate need of a defensive upgrade might be willing to part with some decent young talent to bring him in. Bradley’s also arbitration-eligible for the next two years and doesn’t hit unrestricted free agency until 2021.

Image result for dave dombrowski

Hey Dave, it’s time to start thinking about the future maybeee just a tad more. Even just a little?

Finally, even if the Sox felt it was worth it to continue spending above the limit for 2019, I’d rather see that $7 or $8 million (or even less than that) spent on one of the free-agent relievers that remain on the market. While guys like Adam Ottavino and Zach Britton might be out of the Sox’s price range, someone like David Robertson or Jesse Chavez could be had on the cheap. So, the Sox could save a bit of money AND bring in some much-needed bullpen depth by making the move, too.

Look, while we would be without a few “oooh-ahhh” catches and some timely (but extremely streaky) hitting, the Sox could survive without JBJ next season. At 28 years old and coming off some big postseason swings, he will never look better in the eyes of others around the league than right now, and it just makes too much sense to let this opportunity slip by.

The 300s Marvel Cinematic Rewind Presents: The Incredible Hulk

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The300s MCU

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Raise your hand if you completely forgot this film was a part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Trust me, from time to time I forget it too. A month after Iron Man hit theaters in May 2008, The Incredible Hulk burst onto the scene to keep the Marvel momentum alive. To be fair to all those involved in making this movie, it’s not as a bad as most people remember. In fact, I think many forget this film’s ties to the MCU mainly because  Ed Norton (who is a great actor by the way) was almost immediately replaced with Mark Ruffalo. It once again had something to do with a contract dispute (Norton wanted more creative control over the finished product and it caused a lot of headaches behind the scenes) so Marvel went in a different direction to get Bruce Banner ready for his Avengers debut.

So recently I sat down and re-watched this forgotten gem just to see how well it held up. This was only my second viewing of the film as I had not seen it since it was playing in theaters. Still, we promised a Marvel Cinematic Rewind, which means watching even some of the more obscure entries in the universe.

To quickly summarize, The Incredible Hulk is the second entry in the MCU. It follows Bruce Banner, a brilliant scientist who’s experiment goes wrong, turning him into one of the most dangerous and fearsome players in comic book history. The movie starts with Banner on the run in Brazil, laying low chatting up online with a mysterious Mr. Blue, who is trying to help cure him. By day, Banner is helping out in a bottling plant (where they produce green soda!) and naturally some of his blood gets mixed in a shipment causing Stan Lee to get Gamma radiation poisoning, leading the government to track down his whereabouts. Still with me so far?  Banner barely gets away when the SWAT team kicks in his door and a chase ensues around the city. He narrowly escapes and decides to head back to America, hitchhiking and bumming it on foot from Brazil all the way back to Virginia, in a cool 16 days. You’re still with me right? The head SWAT guy, played by Tim Roth, doesn’t like this very much and winds up taking a dose of super soldier serum mixed with a little Banner blood and becomes Abomination. They do battle, Hulk wins, and Banner once again goes on the run.

The Incredible Hulk definitely sits near the bottom of my MCU rankings. The entire movie is essentially just a cat and mouse game with the government consistently trying to bring Banner in, only to finally utilize him to stop Abomination. While I normally like Ed Norton, his Banner is, well, boring. This is definitely the beginning of the lazy villain stereotype that has plagued Marvel films. Tim Roth brings little to the table as Abomination, who probably has a total of 10 minutes screen time. And while i’m not particularly drawn to any specific aspect of this film, it is at least what most would refer to as a good popcorn movie. Good action sequences, paced pretty well, and it keeps your attention. Hey, at least it’s not that god awful 2003 Hulk. I still have nightmares about that one. If this movie proved anything though, it’s that i’m completely content with just one standalone Hulk movie in the MCU.

Final Verdict: 5.0 out of 10

And while you’re here, enjoy this nonsense.

Patriots Bills Postgame Reaction and Quick Thoughts

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Image result for patriots bills

Yesterday, Red already hit you with a bit of a recap and a few postgame thoughts of his own. Now, ya boy Mattes is here to follow it up with even more reaction for the folks.

First and foremost, it’s very important to note the following: Yes, the Pats did indeed lock up the AFC East for the 1,456th time in a row (OK not really, but I’m running out of room in my closet for all these hats and T-shirts); however, they DID NOT lock up the No. 2 seed. Not quiteeeee yet. So before making plans to finally clean out the garage on Wild Card Weekend, I’d wait to see what happens next weekend against the Jets.

I’m not trying to be the turd in the punch bowl here. And as long as the Pats beat the Jets next Sunday, then the team will unquestionably head into the postseason with a bye. However, not only can the Texans still get the No. 2 seed, even after today’s heartbreaking loss to Philly, but even Baltimore can make a leap up to the second spot. No, but seriously:

For the record, I think we’ll pull it off…but we still gotta beat the Jets.

OK, now on to some reaction from this afternoon.

I won’t touch upon much of what Red already wrote here. But I will say that anyone who comes out of this one feeling “great” might need a bit of a reality check, as many of the same problems the team was facing heading into today were still painfully apparent (e.g. Brady’s knee; Gronk’s health/ability to move).

  • Compiling 273 yards on the ground in any game – let alone against a top-10 run defense – should always be applauded. Those yards also helped the Patriots control the clock, as they bested the Bills in time of possession by over 10 minutes. Those numbers are also all the more impressive and important when you consider the current state of the Patriots’ passing game. Sony Michel was solid but unspectacular, mixing in a few big runs with a consistent 3-5 yards on the majority of his other totes. But, outside of James White’s 27-yard TD run, White and Rex Burkhead were pretty lackluster on the ground. (Burkhead did have a solid four catches for 40 yards, though.)
  • Instead, it was Cordarrelle Patterson, and even Phillip Dorsett, who were responsible for for almost 29 percent of the team’s rushing yards on the day. The team finally seems like they’re picking the right spots to call those big WR sweeps – which I admittedly was not a huge fan of at first – and they could be a vital part of the offense moving forward, because the team’s going to need to get creative with the passing game looking as awful as it has.
Image result for cordarrelle patterson

The big man was rumblin’ on Sunday afternoon.

  • BUT, OF COURSE, Patterson left the game and didn’t return after suffering a knee injury late in the third quarter. Hopefully, he’s OK. So far, though, all the news we have about it so far is this very “reassuring” tweet from NBC Sports’ Phil Perry:
  • And I have to once again make sure everyone realizes how incredibly good Jason McCourty has been this year. Yes, Josh Allen served him an absolute cupcake interception in the fourth quarter that anyone with a pulse would’ve had, but J-Mac, Stephon Gilmore, and J.C. Jackson – a guy we’ve been telling you about since this summer! – were all solid once again. OH, and McCourty also forced a fumble at the end of the third as the Bills were about to reach the red zone. This secondary is damn good.
  • Trey Flowers also continues to prove why he’s so underappreciated; he had no sacks on the day, but he was still everywhere on defense, finishing with five tackles and even drawing a holding penalty at one point. If he ever goes down, the D will go with him.
Image result for trey flowers

Please don’t let this dude walk this spring. Open the purse, Bill!

  • Penalties continue to be a killer for this team lately. After getting called for 14 (!!!) against the Steelers last Sunday, some might think I’m overreacting to an outlier. However, the team was called for another five today, giving them 42 over their past five games alone (8.4 per game). That’s very uncharacteristic for this team, and it’s certainly not a good trend heading into postseason play.

So, again, while I’m very happy with the win, I’m definitely not heading into January with the warm and fuzzies. This team still needs some serious help to get anywhere close to Atlanta in February. A win against the Jets next week and a first-round bye would be an excellent way to start though.

Be sure to check in at the end of the week for the preview of the regular-season finale!

The Patriots Back Door Their Way Into the No. 2 Seed and a First Round Bye!

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This is why you play the game people! Are the Bills and the Jets a mere formality for the Patriots to close out the season? I hope. Of course. But the Patriots needed some outside help for the first time in a long time and old friend Nick Foles did just that as the Eagles knocked off the Texans behind his 400+ yard day. This was not a regular back door cover though as the Texans were doing everything they could to steal a W. Seriously, just look at this play from Deshaun Watson that set up the Texans TD to take the lead with less than 2 minutes to go.

Naturally I was shouting at my TV cussing out the Eagles like it was February all over again, but the enigma that is Nick Foles wasn’t ready to go home yet. Despite nearly getting his sternum broken in half by Jadeveon Clowney, he missed 1 play, came back and led the Eagles to a game winning FG.

The Patriots win coupled with the Texans loss moves New England back into the No. 2 seed and back into the driver seat as they, somehow, once again control their own destiny. LETS. GO.

Now just don’t implode against Sam Darnold and the Jets next Sunday and we’ll all be resting our ailing MCLs on Wild Card Weekend.

Lets get to a few rapid reactions from this Patriots Bills game that, despite a slow start and a less than ideal game from Tom Brady, ended up being a 24-12 blowout.

-Tom Brady did not look great. He finished the day 13/24 for 126 yards 1 TD and 2 INT, which gives him 11 on the year, his most since 2013. One of those picks came on a deflection off Gronk’s banana hands that should have been an easy catch and the other came on a miscommunication with Rex Burkhead zigging when Brady thought he was going to zag. But, he still had a lot of missed throws and generally seemed out of sync all day aside from the Edelman TD.

-Two reasons for concern moving forward though.

-I take little joy in this win in of itself because Josh Allen is AWFUL. Yes, the guy can scramble and has an absolute cannon for an arm, but the guy has worse accuracy than Tebow.

-Rob Gronkowski looked straight up old in this game. He was on the sidelines in favor of Dwayne Allen on a lot of early downs as the Pats ran the ball almost exclusively to open the game. Gronk used to be one of, if not the, best blocking tight ends in the NFL though so this is concerning. He couldn’t really get open and even when he did he was dropping bunnies.

-Josh McDaniels continues to mystify me with his shitty play calling in big spots. It obviously didn’t seriously jeopardize the Patriots’ chances of winning the game, but some of McDaniel’s play calls were real head scratchers.

A win is a win is a win though and the Patriots improve to 10-5 on the season with one game to go. Mattes will break down this game a little bit further later this week and preview next Sunday’s regular season finale against the Jets!

Start Your Holiday Weekend Off Right With This Infuriating Article from CNBC

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Trevor Klee, he admits, is a “terrible employee.” But he’s great at working for himself — and at taking tests.

So the 25-year-old entrepreneur started a thriving business of his own. As a test prep instructor in Cambridge, Massachusetts, he brings in $100,000 a year tutoring people for the GMAT, GRE and LSAT. It’s one of those weird skills that turned out to be really monetizable,” he tells CNBC Make It.

Klee is the first to acknowledge he’s benefited from both luck and privilege: “Growing up in a family that talked a lot about money was a definite advantage,” he says. “In a lot of ways, I feel like I’m good with money, but I’m playing life on ‘Easy’ mode: I’m a single guy with no dependents and I make a pretty solid income.”

For all those people out there struggling to afford the holiday shopping, this one is for you. CNBC just dropped this downright insulting article right before we all set our out-of-office replies and head home for Christmas. I refuse to believe the person that made the above chart is serious, so let’s break this down into realistic terms.

Rent:

The Chart Says: $825

Reality Says: Unless you’re living in your parent’s basement and that’s what they are asking you to contribute, there is no way a single man who lives alone is paying $825. MAYBE if he lives in the Ozarks.

Donations:

The Chart Says: $615

Reality Says: BULLSHIT. I feel like i’m being bamboozled into giving a dollar every time I go to the grocery store to write my name on a paper star that they hang in the window.

Groceries:

The Chart Says: $400

Reality Says: If you’re living alone, there is zero chance this is true. Unless you’re eating filet mignon every single night, go screw. I had Spaghettios for lunch the other day and I have a Bachelor’s degree.

Health Insurance:

The Chart Says: $270

Reality Says: This is the first believable thing this graphic has said.

Dining Out:

The Chart Says: $250

Reality Says: What is this dude ordering? Do you know how many times i’ve been at a restaurant with friends and the check comes and the waiter gets handed 10 different Mastercards with the exact amounts written out for him to swipe?

Utilities:

The Chart Says: $195

Reality Says: Somewhat believable, but only if you’re still in that 2 year grace period with Comcast before they double the price without telling you.

Transportation:

The Chart Says: $130

Reality Says: My car payment alone is more than triple this, and I drive a fucking Chevy.

Cell Phone:

The Chart Says: $40

Reality Says: Only true if you’re on your parent’s plan or you’re still rocking that RAZR flip phone.

House Cleaner:

The Chart Says: $30

Reality Says:

Internet:

The Chart Says: $20

Reality Says: Who am I kidding, i’d pay hundreds for internet access without losing sleep.

In conclusion, don’t let any clickbait bullshit article bully you into thinking you’re not successful if you don’t make $100,000. You do you. Oh, and Merry Christmas.

Taking a Look at the 2019 Baseball Hall of Fame Ballot

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The National Baseball Hall of Fame released the 2019 Baseball Writers’ Association of America ballot last month. While I don’t have a ballot to cast myself, I once again took a look at all of the names on the ballot to determine who I would vote for if I did have a ballot to cast. The 2019 ballot features 35 players, and voters are allowed to vote for up to 10 players.

After reviewing all 35 players on the ballot, I determined there would have been eight players on my ballot. They are:

Mariano Rivera
Barry Bonds
Roger Clemens
Sammy Sosa
Manny Ramirez
Curt Schilling
Billy Wagner
Roy Halladay

  • Mariano Rivera, the greatest relief pitcher of all time, is a no-brainer. The all-time saves leader was consistently excellent for 19 seasons. A 13-time all-star, Rivera posted a career ERA of 2.21.
  • As I’ve said before, I wouldn’t have any qualms about voting for suspected PED users. Baseball was the wild west during the Steroids Era. I don’t think we’ll ever know for sure who used, who didn’t, and who just dabbled. Rather than get into that, I’d rather just vote for the best players. That’s why I would vote for Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens.Bonds won seven MVP awards, including FOUR in a row 2001-2004. Clemens won seven Cy Young Awards and won the award back-to-back on two occasions, a decade apart. They are undeniably the best hitter and pitcher of their generation.
  • Sammy Sosa was the 1998 NL MVP and is the only man in history with three 60+ home run seasons. Sosa played in the same era as Bonds so he is not the best player of his era, but few players were ever as dominant as Sosa was for six straight seasons, 1998-2003.
  • I’ve flipped on Manny Ramirez. I wrote last year that he never won an MVP award, regularly quit on his team and teammates, and actually flunked drug tests. But, if I am being consistent and just look at the numbers, he’s a Hall of Famer. 555 home runs. 1831 runs batted in.  A career .312 hitter with a .996 OPS. The guy made 11-straight all-star teams from 1998-2008.And while it is commonly accepted that he would quit on his team at times, he was never an impediment to winning. His teams won two World Series, four pennants, and Ramirez played in 111 playoff games from 1995-2009. He was the best right-handed hitter in the game in the early 2000s and one of the biggest and best free agent signings in the history of the game. For that reason, I’m in on Manny.

    kevin oleary GIF by Shark Tank

  • Curt Schilling was the best big-game pitcher in the game for more than a decade. He went 11-2 with a 2.23 ERA in 19 postseason appearances and won a ring in Arizona before winning two in Boston. You can’t tell the story of baseball in the 2000s without him. I wouldn’t retweet him, but I would check the box for him.
  • I’d still vote for Billy Wagner this year out of principle. Trevor Hoffman got in last year but I believe Wagner was the better reliever. The only number Hoffman has on Wagner is saves. Hoffman saved 601 games in 18 years and Wagner saved 422 in 16 years. But Wagner had a better win-loss percentage, a substantially lower ERA, he struck out more batters in almost 200 fewer innings, had a lower WHIP and a better strikeout-to-walk ratio.
  • Roy Halladay only won 203 games, but he was a beast for a solid decade. He won Cy Young Awards in 2003 and 2010, and made eight all-star teams during his 16-year career. He threw 67 complete games and 20 shutouts in a time when not many other guys regularly went the distance. On October 6, 2010, in his first postseason appearance, he threw just the second postseason no-hitter in baseball history. When the Doc was on, he was exceptional, and that’s why he’d get my vote.

Regarding some notable candidates who I wouldn’t have voted for…

Edgar Martinez was a very good player for a long period of time but was never the best player on his own team (Griffey, A-Rod, Ichiro). I do not care that he was primarily a DH. If you contribute more to your team as a DH than a first baseman or third baseman, then you should DH. But while Martinez was a professional hitter for a long period of time, he was never the most feared bat in the league (or lineup).

Mike Mussina was perennial 1A starter in the AL East for 18 years. Mussina pitched for some very good teams, but never won a ring and he was never the most feared pitcher in the game. Mussina only pitched one full season with a sub-3.00 ERA.

Andy Pettitte was a perennial #2 starter for very good teams. He logged more than a full season’s worth of playoff starts (44) and innings (276.2), and has five rings to show for it. Still, he was never one of the best pitchers in the game.

 

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