Iowa Woman Taking Speeding Ticket to Supreme Court

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AP — An Iowa woman who says she was wrongly ticketed by an automated traffic camera when she wasn’t speeding has accomplished the unusual feat of getting the state Supreme Court to consider her $75 small-claims case.

For Marla Leaf, 67, it’s not about money, but about constitutional rights. Her attorney, James Larew, will argue Wednesday that the city of Cedar Rapids, where Leaf lives and was ticketed, is violating equal protection and due process clauses of the Iowa Constitution in part because it delegates police power to Gatso USA — the private, for-profit company hired to run the equipment.

You know how I know Iowa knows that speeding tickets from traffic cameras are bogus? The fine is only $75. The last time someone I know got popped for speeding by an actual police officer the fine was $150. If Iowa thought their traffic cameras were infallible, they would charge the same fine an actual police officer would charge. A fine of $75 is just small enough to not be worth your time to fight it. Not to Marla Leaf, though.

I admire Marla Leaf’s conviction. I’ve paid my fair share of unjust parking tickets, and would have loved to have brought them all to the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court. But after being told to pound sand enough times by parking clerks in the basement of city hall, I’ve learned to just pay my “parking tax” once or twice a year and move on. That’s not how Marla rolls.

I’ve always thought that traffic cameras were bogus. I hate that Massachusetts has moved to all electronic tolling. There’s no way I’m not getting hosed making an airport run eventually. So I’m rooting for Marla and her attorney. If I am legitimately speeding and get pulled over by a police officer, I will pay my ticket. But if I get ticketed by a traffic camera, I’m going to call shenanigans every time. I’d love to see Marla put Gatso USA out of business. The company that produces and operates cameras to fine motorists has to be run by the kids who reminded teachers they forgot to assign homework.

Let’s just hope that Jimmy Larew is a better barrister than Newman.

Mayor of LA Says He Didn’t Even Want the Chargers in LA

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Yahoo –  I’ve written often about how the Los Angeles Chargers‘ relocation is the worst in modern American professional sports history, how L.A. didn’t want the Chargers and how its apathy has grown more obvious now that games have started…Even Los Angeles Mayor Eric Garcetti can’t pretend to be fired up…“We embrace any team that comes, we’re certainly happy to have the Chargers in L.A.,” Garcetti said during a recent interview on “The Dan Patrick Show.” “But I think we could have been happy with just one [team], too.”

Bahaha. What a slap in the face for a team that just basically told their fans of 50 years to screw as the Chargers moved down to LA to become the second team that city didn’t need. Its like breaking up with your longterm girlfriend only to have the smokeshow you left her for get sick of you in 2 weeks. We all said it. LA is too apathetic, too many transplants, no one will care about an NFL team, let alone two. And now the fucking mayor is even saying it.

 “I think we could have been happy with just one [team], too.”

Thats gotta sting if your Chargers owner Dean Spanos. Sure Garcetti later goes on to say getting the Chargers was “gravy” but thats like a girl calling her fat friend “nice.” Not exactly a ringing endorsement.

“It’s amazing. Through the years, cities have treated landing a new pro team like a historic, city-changing event. In many ways, it is. Los Angeles didn’t exactly go crazy about the Rams, but there was some buzz. There’s practically none for the Chargers, and Garcetti said the city would have been fine had the Chargers stayed in San Diego.”

Lets face it, moving 2 hours down the road from San Diego to LA is not nearly as sexy as a team making the pilgrimage from St. Louis and relocating to LA. Plus, as the Chargers are now learning:

Maybe moving into the shiny new Inglewood stadium in a couple of years will help, but they’re always going to be the little brother team as the Rams started this whole SoCal operation. Buttt the Rams do suck pretty bad at football, so who knows maybe the Chargers get good before the Rams and become the city’s favorite football team…behind USC.

Picking Up the Pieces: How’d I Do Gambling NFL Week 2?

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Season record: (8-7)
Last week: N/A

Somehow we missed the Bills-Panthers in Week 2’s column, so by technicality we get outta here above .500. We’ll try to do better in Week 3. But hey if you’re coming here for gambling advice you have a much larger problem. Enjoy your meager winnings!

NFL Week 2

Texans (0-1) at Bengals (0-1), Thursday
Opening line: Bengals, -3 points

Bengals threw up an absolute stinker, losing 13-9, as people are legitimately starting to question if the Red Rifle is cooked meanwhile Tyler Eifert remains about as healthy as the goddamn bubble boy.
Our pick: Bengals to cover – L (0-1)

Jets (0-1) at Raiders (1-0)
Opening line: Raiders, -14 points

Did not expect the Jets to win, but did not expect the Raiders to cover a 14 pt spread. Cover they did, winning by 25 points.
Our pick: Jets to cover – L (0-2)

Browns (0-1) at Ravens (1-0)
Opening line: Ravens, -7.5 points

Ravens more than covered the -7.5 spread, winning by 14 pts. We got a W in the book!
Our pick: Ravens to cover – W (1-2)

 

Cardinals (0-1) at Colts (0-1)
Opening line: Cardinals, -7.5 points

Cardinals continue to be the definition of mediocre, eeking out a 3 point win over the Colts who were coming off a blowout to the lowly rams. Needless to say they did not cover.
Our pick: Cardinals to cover – L (1-3)

Patriots (0-1) at Saints (0-0)
Opening line: Patriots, -4.5 points

As predicted, the Patriots blew doors, smoking the Saints 36-20, easily covering the initial -4.5 spread.
Our pick: Patriots to cover – W (2-3)

Vikings (1-0) at Steelers (1-0)
Opening line: Steelers, -7 points

After looking like the goddamn MVP of the league, Sam Bradford came back down to earth on his graham cracker knees and the Vikings got smoked by the Steelers 26-9. Thats a no show.
Our pick: Vikings to cover – L (2-4)

Dolphins (0-0) at Chargers (0-1)
Opening line: Chargers, -4 points

Rather than winning by at least 4, the Chargers actually lost by 2 to Smokin Jay Cutler in his first game post retirement. FML.
Our pick: Charges to cover – L (2-5)

Titans (0-1) at Jaguars (1-0)
Opening line: Titans, -1 point

Titans easily covered the -1 pt spread, smoking the Jags 37-16. Blake Bortles continues to drift further and further away from being a respectable NFL quarterback, which is weird because just a couple of seasons ago he was one of the top fantasy QBs in the game.
Our pick: Titans to cover – W (3-5)

Eagles (1-0) at Chiefs (1-0)
Opening line: Chiefs, -4 points

As predicted the Chiefs continued their winning ways, beating the Eagles by a TD, covering the -4 point spread.
Our pick: Chiefs to cover – W (4-5)

 

Bears (0-1) at Buccaneers (0-0)
Opening line: Buccaneers, -6 points

The Bucs kicked the shit out of the Bears 29-7, much to the chagrin of every other Jordan Howard fantasy owner in the world, easily covering the -6 point spread.
Our pick: Bucs to cover – W (5-5)

 

Redskins (0-1) at Rams (1-0)
Opening line: Rams, -2.5 points

As bad as the R-words have looked, its still the Rams and I would hammer a -2.5 point spread every day of the week as Washington won by a TD.
Our pick: R-words to cover – W (6-5)

 

Cowboys (1-0) at Broncos (1-0)
Opening line: Cowboys, -2.5 points

Cowboys were a -2.5 point favorite, which I felt good about, but the Broncos smoked the Boys 42-17, with Hall of Famer LaDanian Tomlinson calling out Zeke for quitting on his team. Great. Swing and a miss.
Our pick: Cowboys to cover – L (6-6)

49ers (0-1) at Seahawks (0-1)
Opening line: Seahawks, -12.5 points

Seahawks were a -12.5 point favorite, which I felt was way too big for a struggling Seattle offense, which turned out to be dead on as the Hawks had to use a late game drive just to barely win. Seattle snuck out of town with a 12-9 win and we all won some money.
Our pick: Niners to cover – W (7-6)

 

Packers (1-0) at Falcons (1-0)
Opening line: Falcons, -2.5 points

I was very confident in Green Bay winning outright despite Atlanta being a -2.5 favorite, buttt nope the Falcons looked like the Falcons of 2016 in their new stadium winning 34-23. Nuts.
Our pick: Packers to cover – L (7-7)

Lions (1-0) at Giants (0-1), Monday
Opening line: Giants, -5 points

This was a tossup as technically Odell Beckham played, but he clearly didn’t look like himself and only had 4 catches for 36 yards. Since ODB himself said this was a 6-8 week injury, I’m not picking the Giants in a close game until I see him back to his old ways. I’m giving myself this one.
Our pick: Lions to cover – W (8-7)

Week 2 Predictions Grade: C+ – Average, not my best effort, room for improvement. You made a little money if you bet every game, but you’re not gonna be buying rounds at the bar or anything.

After Last Night’s Win the Red Sox are Now 15-3 in Extra Innings Games

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So last night the Sox went into extra innings AGAIN, which I believe Dave O’Brien said was their 5th game with bonus cantos of this road trip. With last nights W, the Sox are now 15-3 in extra innings games, which is tied for the most wins in extra innings in franchise history. 18 extra innings games is insane. Thats gotta be at the top of the league if not the league leader for extra innings games played this season. For some reason this is not an easy stat to find so I’m gonna need the baseball nerds to hammer out that research for me.

But to go 15-3 in all those extra innings games is downright impressive. Resilience like you read about. Thats the kind of identity this team has been looking for all season. Seriously, look at this shit:

Still not sold on this team going very far in the playoffs unless they put Chris Sale on the Game 1, Game 3, and Game 7 Randy Johnson schedule, but this team battles can’t deny that.

UPDATE: It would appear the Red Sox are second in extra innings games played this season in the AL, according to Boston Sports Info, but LOOK AT THAT BULLPEN!

RGIII and Santana Moss are Beefing Over…..Mike Shanahan?

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ESPN – Robert Griffin III celebrated when the Washington Redskins fired coach Mike Shanahan, former teammate Santana Moss said. However, Moss told a local radio station, Griffin’s giddiness hurt him in the end. Griffin denies having done so and, via Twitter on Tuesday, told Moss that “to openly lie about me is a betrayal.”

If I’m Robert Griffin ya know what I’m saying to Santana Moss? Fuck you bro. Seriously. So RGIII denies Santana Moss’ claim below that Griffin celebrated when Shanahan got fired by the R-words.

“When the whole thing went about, we hear that Mike Shanahan’s not coming back the next year, then we hear the quarterback like, ‘Hey. Mm-hmm,'” Moss told The Fan. “Like, basically saying that, ‘Hey, you got me out of here not playing last year, the last few games, then that’s what happens. You get fired.”

Griffin SHOULD have celebrated. Shanahan fucking RUINED Griffin’s career. After being the second overall pick in 2012, playing at a record setting level and winning Rookie of the Year, Griffin was poised for an exciting and game changing career. Then after hurting his knee in the playoffs Shanahan’s the guy running his franchise QB back out into a game on a shaky knee that he should not have been playing on; especially not as a mobile QB.

Not surprisingly Griffin completely fucks his knee up and his career is basically over after that as he’s never the same. So if I’m RGIII I’m dancing on Mike Shanahan’s grave when he gets fired a year later. Especially if I’m now reduced to playing pickup ball at the YMCA like a washed up high school workout warrior.

My advice? Embrace the hate Robert. Blow up Mike Shanahan and Santana Moss’ spot. People would respect that. Hell maybe thats what gets you back in the league because its definitely not your lightning rod politics that are keeping you out of the league. Develop a bad boy reputation, embrace the haters. No pressure no diamonds.

Remember that Rob. I’d watch out if I was Santana though, RGIII isn’t even subtweeting anymore. The gloves are clearly off now.

For one of the most exciting players of the last 10 years, RGIII just cannot catch a break. #FreeRGIII

This is Not a Drill. Jimmer Fredette Now Has His Own Shoe Line in China.

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Yahoo – Jimmer Fredette was the leading scorer in China last season, averaging 37.6 points a night and dropping 73 in one game. He’s big time. And big time guys get their own shoe lines. Jimmer got a signature shoe line teaming up with 361 shoes out of China, as ESPN’s Nick DePaula reports.

I haven’t even seen how much these cost yet and I already know they 100% will be purchased. They’ll just have to be a content expense for The 300s. Big Baller Brand can kick rocks, we got the Fredette’s dropping soon. Sneak peak at the shoes below as reported by Nick DePaula:

Looking like I need those, ten and a half and if you got em give me two of those!

Fredette was my ideal player; not particularly athletic, decent handle, came out of a small college, but can shoot the goddamn lights out from 3 point land. This guy put on a show every night at BYU, butttt his slow, white guy, spot up 3 point shooting YMCA style offense didn’t translate particularly well to the NBA. Doesn’t mean he wasn’t a deadly sniper I always traded for or signed any time I picked up the sticks on NBA 2K. So since going to China he’s basically become the white Michael Jordan over there. Fredette AVERAGED 37.6 points a game. Topped out one night at 73. Thats video game shit. As a proponent of buying stupid shit I don’t just want the new Fredette’s, I need them.

 

Eli Manning is Probably Having a Rough Morning

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These primetime games have featured some HELLACIOUS hits the first two weeks of the season. First we had JJ Watt nearly cutting a guy in half on Thursday night and last night on Monday Night Football we had Eli getting absolutely smoked. Looking like the lady out of the Life Alert commercial.

I’m sure all the tough guys and practice heroes will say stop babying the QBs, put a skirt on em etc. etc. but my god thats a 300 pound dude falling on your neck and head. Not a great position to be in, especially for a guy with two brothers that have had spine/neck injuries. Despite Gruden saying “thats why” Eli Manning is great, my advice would be to bail out on those ones before you look like this:

Vinny Chase Already Made This New Firefighters Movie. Its Called Smoke Jumpers.

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So the trailer for “Only the Brave” premiered during Monday Night Football and I had only one thought. Umm what the fuck is this? Vinny Chase already made this movie. Its called Smoke Jumpers. Seriously, its the same exact movie.

I mean, come on. Here’s Ari Gold pitching Vinny the synopsis for this same exact movie back in 2008. I’m onto you, Brolin.

Vinny Chase is so hot right night. Vinny Chase. Seriously, for all the shit people give Entourage despite it being a defining comedy for any guy in their late twenties, Hollywood is just pumping out movies that Vinny already made. Aquaman? Vinny made that in 2005:

*This was literally my only frame of reference for the Santa Monica Pier for about 10 years until I recently visited LA for the first time*

Now Hollywood is re-releasing Aquaman with Khal Drogo next year. Narcos? A little film my man Vinny made called Medellin, ever heard of it? Got into Sundance on its trailer alone, NBD.

And now this new movie about elite firefighters in the mountains fighting the biggest fire they’ve ever seen? THAT IS SMOKE JUMPERS. And I will not stand for this any longer until Mr. Chase is given the respect he deserves.

Not to mention, Vinny also got cast in Gatsby before Leo Dicarpio made his version so thats four movies Hollywood has snaked out of Vinny. For shame Hollywood, for shame.

PS – I’ll never forget the face of utter dismay on this girl I went to college with when I told her that no, Queens Boulevard was not actually a real movie. Pure shock.

I’m Not Worried About All the Patriots Injuries, You Are

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The Patriots cruised to a blowout win over the Saints yesterday so its all popsicles and sunshine around here. Kind of. Not to throw cold water on a great victory, but we saw some key players exit the game or clearly playing at less than 100% with various injuries. I’m not yet in panic mode, but this shit has me straight up concerned.

  • Julian Edelman (IR)
  • Malcolm Mitchell (IR)
  • Matthew Slater (OUT – hammy)
  • Danny Amendola (OUT – concussion/knee)
  • Philip Dorsett (came out of the game)
  • Chris Hogan (was in and out of game, severely limping)

“It really, really sucks that Edelman is done for the year, but if there was ever a year to have an injury at receiver, its this year.” I said those words after Edelman went down because we still had Hogan, Amendola, Mitchell, and of course the newly acquired Brandin Cooks. Now? Frighteningly thin. Sure, Brady went out there and had one of his best games ever with fucking fullbacks lining up out wide, but that game had an eerily-2006 feel to it when Brady was basically throwing to trashcans in the AFC championship game.

  • Dont’a Hightower (OUT – knee)

Reports are still pegging this at  2-3 week “minor” injury, but the fact that it happened in Week 1 after the Pats and other teams in Free Agency were concerned with Hightower’s health is not a great sign. If he misses a lengthy period of time, then this Pats defense is cooked against the better teams in this league.

  • Rob Gronkowski (left the game with a groin injury)

Here’s my real-time reaction to Gronk making a reception and taking a hit before gingerly getting up and taking himself out of the game.

And its true, I legit can’t bear to watch the guy take hits anymore because you never know which one is gonna be the one that ends his season this time. But in the sick paradox that is football, its the only way for Gronk to be effective. If he’s not out there being a physical monster, then he’s just not making an impact. It seems like this is a groin injury and not too serious; Gronk said he was “fine” after the game. Thankfully its not the back as Tony Romo pointed out multiple times on the broadcast. Romo’s career was effectively ended by back injuries so this guy knows what he’s talking about, which is scary. Hopefully its just a tweak and Gronk’s back out there next week.

  • Eric Rowe (left the game with a groin injury)

Role players for the Pats (except both started against the Saints) so to see these guys exit the game with injuries is concerning as well. Rowe is the 2nd or 3rd corner depending on what day it is, so to lose that guy for any period of time is a huge hit for the D.

  • Rex Burkhead (left the game with a rib injury)

Burkhead looked like yet another wrinkle in the Pats offense that McDaniels could have some fun with before leaving the game with a rib injury. Its unclear how serious that injury is, but he didn’t return to the game. Sure the Pats have a stable of RBs, but their effectiveness is in the combined efficiency of their diversity, ya know kind of like the Captain Planet Planeteers. So the more of them that are healthy the better off the Pats will be.

So long story short, injuries are starting to pile up for the Patriots and its not even October yet, which has me concerned. Combine the recent injuries with preseason losses like top draft pick Derek Rivers (ACL) and Rob Ninkovich (delicious Bud Lights in retirement and arguing with Felger on TV) and the Pats are getting thinner each week on both sides of the ball. They looked awesome against the Saints, but hopefully some of these injuries clear up or Tom Brady will literally have to carry this team on his back like the old 2006 squad.